Hey /b/ I'm a socially successful guy who browsed here

I fukd ur mum

Why do you feel the need to lie on the internet?

>>719583902
How do I get laid?

I've been told I'm very good-looking, I have a thin build. I don't get out a lot.

>>719583902
what kind of training work related do you do

>>719584063
I don't, and I'm not. I figured this thread would most likely not take off, but I wanted to give some depressed/lonely anons a chance to help themselves, if they wanted to.

>>719583902
did you always have confidence or did something give it to you?

>>719583902
I'm apathetic about everything, how do I stop? I want to have passion for things again.

>>719584236
>>719584423
>>719584624
Answers coming, need to type them out

>>719584417
Not sure what you mean. Do you mean working out/lifting?

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>>719583902

She hasn't answered since 4:40 this afternoon. She's coming off a 3 year long relationship and I don't know if she's just distracted (it's her sister's birthday today), or if she's just not interested. Was gonna give it till tomorrow before I said something about how hard it is to keep her attention, but do you have a better idea?

>>719583902
It's hard to find any guys from my school who use marijuana. I would love to get close to this kind of people. How to spot a grasshead?

>>719584814
Pathetic response lol

>>719583902
How would you deal with this situation:

Girl I like very much has tons of psychological issues, untreated, with a family that cares little for her, mostly because of bad parenting and a military background. You have the necessary skillset to fix her issues, but are unsure if you lack the patience to deal with them and turn her into a perfect companion for you journey through life.

>>719585271
How so, faggot?

>>719584749
did you go to school for job, where do you work

>>719585401
"You have the necessary skillset to fix her issues"
" but are unsure if you lack the patience to deal with them and turn her into a perfect companion for you journey through life." pick one you retarded cunt

>>719584236
Honestly, looks only matter if you're an outlier on either end of the spectrum. Most guys are average looking, that's why its called average. Being fit helps your own confidence and girls notice you, but that's about it. Girls will lose interest if they see that you're a douchebag or desperate.

Instead, focus on NOT thinking about getting laid. I'm sure you've heard that confidence is key, and that's true to a certain degree. But I don't think of it as confidence; I think of it as being easy-going, relaxed and not nervous, comfortable with who you are. When you're those things, confidence comes. Focus on that.

In my experience, when your goal/intent is to get laid, it's counterproductive to your success. Girls are people too, not just sex items, and when you're only thinking about sex, you'll criticize yourself on everything you do and only think about things through that lens. Not only is this usually fairly obvious, but then the stakes for talking to girls is SO much higher than if they're just a potential friend, and that just throws you off.

>>719585594
Thanks for the insightful response, you cockmongering cumslurper.

Define socially succesful

>>719585401
Just got dumped by one of those. Seriously anon, don't.

>>719585697
no problem you, fucking pube munching mong

>>719584423
Definitely did NOT always have confidence. It came slowly over a number of years, coupled with the realization that 99% of people have the same exact thoughts you do. Everybody does and says stupid shit; the difference is, outside of high school, you're the only one who fixates on it. Nobody will remember that stupid thing you said last week except you, so don't be self-conscious about it.

>>719585816
Learn to use your commas, you sleazy smegma sommelier.

>>719586036

This is absolute trash advice, people will DEFINITELY remember stupid stuff you say and do, this is why you think before you act and speak.

I'm socially awkward, I don't go out, like at all. People say its easy "just go out more", but how the fuck am I suppose to do that? I'd liked to meet new people (girls too) but where am I even suppose to go / do.

>>719584236
Not OP here. It sounds cliche, but get out of your comfort zone -- go start conversations with strangers (start out with guys if you're not comfortable talking to girls). Just keep in mind that it's a stranger, so it doesn't matter if you come across weird or awkward at first. Starting up conversations is a skill that you can and should develop, so just give it a shot. You'll definitely get better at it (everybody does) and that will eventually help you to meet women, either directly or indirectly. Plus it will help you in other areas of your life as well (career, networking, friends, etc.).

Trust me, this works. I am an introvert too, but one day I just decided I needed to get off my ass. Went to a bar, by myself, and struck up a bunch of random conversations. It was kind of tough at first, but eventually you get to the point where you can walk up to folks and engage them in conversation. It's my experience that most people like to meet a person who seems interesting, so if you've got something cool to say and aren't trying to sell them anything, they're listening.

>>719584624
This is a tougher one, and I'd be lying if I said I had an easy solution for it. I've struggled with this myself a lot.

The best way I've found to fight off apathy is to do stuff. Try and be alone a little less, whether it's hanging out with friends or going out and pursuing social hobbies. It depends on you, really, but some ideas are vidya tournaments, or getting a membership to a climbing gym, or joining a local bowling team. Wallowing in the apathy only makes it worse, and if you get out and try new things, you might just find THE thing that lights a fire under your ass. Best of luck, man.

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>>719583902

>>719584417
>>719585538
I'm actually currently in college. If you want to give me some specifics about your situation I might be able to give you some better advice.

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>>719585594
>>719585697
>>719585816
>>719586112

>>719586674
should i go to college?

>>719583902
I'm in a long distance relationship, my girlfriend is very devoted to me but we can't see each other much so she wants it to be open for me to fuck other girls (nothing emotional though) when we're apart from each other for months at a time. I haven't really tried to do anything about it yet but it's definitely a tempting idea. Problem is, I don't have many friends who are girls and those I do I have some sort of past with and they're off limits. How can I find a girl to just be friends with benefits with, no emotional strings attached?

>>719583902
What's it like to have a friend? it's been so long that i've forgotten

>>719585691
Thanks for the response. Actually, this is one of the few actual helpful answers I have ever received here.

>>719584419
>implying any of us want to get better

>>719584814
>>719584814
First off, never say something you read in a /b/ thread to someone. It might seem oh so tempting when you see that ONE screenshot where it might have actually worked, but just don't.

In this situation, you just dun goofed. She's coming off a three year relationship AND it's her sister's birthday? You basically guaranteed yourself to not get laid... she's not going to prioritize you over her sister, and at best she's probably still a little shaken from coming out of a three year relationship. On top of that, she probably gets hit on all the time, and you opening with that line comes off as pretty douchey. I'm not judging you, but she probably is. Most girls don't want to have a one night stand, so don't make her think you're only in it for the sex.

You should try and get her out to do something fun that will take her mind off everything, preferably a group thing with alcohol involved (to loosen up a little, don't rape her). Also, as a general rule, referencing any time in the past that you may have had feelings for each other is a no go (unless she does it).

alright man, just got out of a long relationship and now I'm having a hard time adjusting to socializing with people, help a bro out. 20 years old, first year of school, how the fuck do i interact with people

>>719584814
your response to her was too long, she thinks u care too much now.
next time try the "ok we'll work somethin out later" approach.
have a nice rest of ur night, and nice try!

>>719585085
Assuming you're in high school, if they disappear for lunches, smell strongly (either of cologne to cover it up or just straight up weed), or are late a lot are generally good indicators. If it's not socially stigmatized, just ask someone who you think does smoke if they want to smoke together sometime, and then use that person to build your knowledge of other people who smoke.

>>719585401
This depends... on the one hand, I want to say that you shouldn't try to "fix" her or "turn her into a perfect companion." Not because of moral reasons, just because it's hard to really change people and it probably won't work out. Psychological problems are usually pretty deeply rooted.

On the other hand, I want to say that if you think you can truly, genuinely help her with some of those issues, then go for it. Just be aware that you might hurt her a lot more if you do get romantically involved but then break it off, and will most likely just make her feel more damaged.

>>719587879
>don't rape her
since thats the first feminazis have in mind you are one i guess

>>719587289
This depends largely on your circumstances, but if you can afford to, then I'd say yes. Not only is it a good time, but the research shows you'll have an easier time finding a job and make more money than those who don't.

>>719587298
Tinder comes to mind. Most girls would not be down with you being in a relationship AND hooking up with them, because emotions usually get involved. I guess I'd try being upfront about it on Tinder and see how that works out. Maybe have a bio that explains your situation and what you're looking for, and if you don't have success with that, try some small casual banter before moving onto a question like "What are you looking for here?" again with an explanation of your situation.

Hey, OP. I have a dilemma.
>girlfriend says we need to talk
>I'm an honest guy that doesn't fool around with other woman, I'm dedicated to her exclusively
>We talk
>she says "I don't think you should be going out with me. I get severe depression and I'll only bring you down."
>She also says "I have no confidence in myself. Do you know how many times I planned out my suicide?", general depressing things etc.
>I hold her closely, break down and say that I don't want her to live a terrible life. I want her to continue on with her life."
>She cries too
>We both share a happy moment together
>We're going to a museum together tomorrow
In the end, I believe me and her are in good standing. I sincerely like my girlfriend and I think she wants to stay with me. Judging by what she said, OP, what do you think she wants? Please be honest with me.

>>719588480
Yeah this is so accurate. You can't change people, and no matter how much you really could help them by loving and supporting them, go. Really. Slow. Wait, be just a close friend for a while, find out what's wrong with them exactly and feel what it's like dealing with them.
But always remember the general sound advice, do not stick your dick in crazy. Don't. Fucking. Do. It. If they're broken you can be the duct tape that holds them together but eventually they're gonna start pulling apart again, and you're gonna go with them. Do both of you a favor and make absolutely sure you can handle it before you start a serious relationship.

>>719586153
They'll only remember it if it's the offensive variety of stupid, like racism, or if it's funny stupid, like mispronouncing a word. Other than that, I guarantee most people don't give a shit and will have forgotten by the next day. You only fixate on it when its yourself, or when you have such severe self-esteem issues that you judge other people that harshly.

>>719586414
Good advice. You have nothing to lose if you're talking to a complete stranger, so don't be self-conscious about it.

>>719587740
Sure thing. This was actually inspired by a similar thread I saw while browsing /b/ years ago, when I wasn't in a good place, so I figured I'd try to pass it forward.

>>719587776
Some obviously do.

>>719589104
Seems like sound logic to me

How do you find interests with girls you talk to? One of my fears is having the looks to pull a girl but not having any personality or interests to keep her around.

>>719590144

No, I gaurantee people remember the stupid shit you say and do, opinions on people are literally formed based on what they see you say and do, saying stupid shit and doing stupid shit will cause people to have an opinion on you as a stupid person. Yeah, one stupid thing won't drastically shift people's opinion on you, but they'll remember it and if you keep doing stupid shit they WILL form a negative view on you.

You're in college you said, you're young and most likely have not experienced life in a proper workforce among a diverse range of people. They WILL remember stupid stuff you do, FACT.

>>719587523
I'm trying to articulate what it's like, but it's hard. Having a friend is like having someone there for you that will make you feel like you have value, even if you feel worthless at the time. It's having someone who you can bullshit with as easy as you can have serious talks with. It's frustration and stupid arguments, but forgetting about them 15 minutes later. It's comforting and gratifying and frustrating at the same time. If you need to talk, let me know, maybe we can figure something out.

>>719590290

Ask her what she does for a living/studies/plans on doing for a living/interests

Act interested in her reply. Done

>>719583902
how often do you fap?

>>719590900
About 3 times a day. My record is 8 times in a day, but the dick was sooo sore afterwards, I couldn't pee without the burning sensation

>>719589318
Judging by what you said, she has extreme self-esteem issues. One of the problems with people with self-esteem issues is that they think they don't deserve happiness, that they're not worth it. She was probably at a low point, and despite everything you said, she was probably thinking that dating her is going to be too difficult and too time-consuming for you. That SHE is not worth YOUR time, and that her happiness is not worth your time. She might have been hurt so badly in the past that she's afraid of even being happy. I can't say for sure, I'm not a psychiatrist and I don't know her, but my recommendation would be to make sure she knows that you're there for her and will continue to be despite an argument or her depression. Have you seen Bojack Horseman? I think you should give it a watch. It has some of the most real character writing I've seen in any TV show, animated or not. It touches on depression a lot.

>>719583902
how do I get the courage to ask this girl out? I'm afraid she doesn't actually like me and I'm reading into things wrong.

>>719584814
>haha

>>719583902
Anon I met a girl at work. I work at a grocery store and she came to self checkout before I could approach her she asked me for help I small talk her a bit and told her bye and have a great night. She works 2 minutes away at a sub shop and I want to talk to her more and ask her out how can I approach this since I don't want to hope and pray she comes back to the store

>>719591606

Would you rather long after this girl for months, potentially ruining other chances at relationships along the way while remaining a perma-virgin as she fucks her way through every Chad you know or ask her out tomorrow and get a definitive answer on what's going on and be able to either move on or start fucking?

That's where the confidence comes from anon, because it's the smart play.

>>719587298
>open for me to fuck other girls
That's because she's fucking other guys you fool.

>>719592009

Well if you want to talk to this girl but can't rely on her coming into your work and you know where she works I guess you can't do anything about it, sorry anon.

Wait, fuck! Just had a brilliant idea, you can go to the fucking sub shop and have a yarn with her. Don't beat yourself up anon, that was a pretty hard puzzle to solve.

>>719590290
Well, make sure you have interests! Find something you like to do and actively pursue it instead of watching Netflix or browsing the internet for a couple hours. Then hopefully you can meet girls through that, and you already have a mutual interest, or if you do find a girl you'll have something to talk about. Find something other than vidya, just one thing.

>>719592429
We'll seem like she liked me she smile and laugh as well I'm kicking myself in the ass not talking to her more but we were busy and I don't want to go in and vice versa she busy and can't talk to me and the place is expensive to eat what should I do

>>719591606
The other answer you got is the /b/ answer to things... I wouldn't recommend it.

Honestly, you need to read the signs. Do you two talk? If so, does she instigate the conversation ever? Does she laugh and act engaged in the conversation? Have you hung out one on one in any non-professional/non-school environment?

Those would all be good signs, and if they're there, then she's probably into you. If you think you're reading interest, throw out a suggestion for a casual coffee sometime (or whatever would work well for you two). Don't overthink it, but don't fall head over heels in love and rush things.

Hey OP there is this girl, which I worked with 3 years ago, never meet her since, but still regularly think about her. Don't asked her out in the past because I had no money and was focussed on studies. In the past we didn't talk much, mostly work stuff, but she seemed interested, can't really tell for sure because I am bad at reading people. Now I am finishing my masters, still got not much money, but much better perspectives. How can I ask her out? Should I? I know it would sound creepy after all these years... how to fix this, any ideas?

>>719592009
The other guy was an asshole, but he's right. Go drop in to the sub shop and buy a sandwich. Be smooth and make some conversation, try to make her laugh if you can. When you're paying, give her your number and say "Hey, give me a call (or you could say "shoot me a text") if you want to grab a coffee or something sometime" and leave. Be relaxed and confident. That way, if she wants to call you, the ball is in her court, and if she doesn't, there's not any outright rejection.

>>719583902
Shut up and post that set faggot

>>719593096
Also, if you do what I said here >>719593567 and things go well and you end up dating her, you'd have a good story in a few months about how you went in to buy a sandwich just to talk to her!

>>719593851
>>719593567
Thanks for the advice I don't know if she works on a register because I think she makes the sandwiches but I'm going to stop by tomorrow during my break to see if she there and go from there I'll never know if I don't try right

>>719591606
Forget what the other fags said to you, trying to tell you to reason with your fear. Fear by nature is irrational.

Go for a run, lift some weights, do something to exhaust yourself thoroughly. Then take a very hot shower. After you get out, you'll feel pretty good. Just say f'k it, pick up the phone and call her.

The trick is to shock yourself out of your fear. Learn to predict your emotions and how to work through them.

>>719583902
Any tips when it comes to job interviews? Going for one soon and I'm wondering what I could do to make it the best I can.

>>719593530
Need help with this one OP

>>719594521
1. Take pride in your appearance. Shower,shave,hair cut, nicely ironed suit. This will help you feel more confident + make you look more appealing.

2. Drink coffee before the interview. You need to be on your game and sharp as a tack.

3. It's cliche to say 'be yourself' but seriously, just relax and talk to the people. Own who you are. If they don't like you or you don't like them or feel comfortable then you're not going to want to work there anyway so fuck that. Be honest about who you are as a person and what you're good at. Own the fact that you would be valuable employee.

4. Small talk and joking is allowed and encouraged. Getting them to laugh will eliminate most of the awkwardness.

>>719584814
ohhhhhhhhmygod the spaghetti... Listen; people can feel your energy when you communicate with them. If you feel insecure, no matter how good you think you are at faking it over text, you'll come off insecure. Just chill and focus on yourself.

>>719585401
That's retarded. If she's got tons of issues, go find another girl that's not got issues.

>>719593530
Dude, you have a masters. You have a lot to offer the girl. Quit being a bitch and ask her if she wants to get some coffee with you. There's nothing wrong with that. People do that even when they're really only being friendly.

>>719593530
Well, this one is tough to answer without knowing details like how often you see her or talk to her, but I'll give it a shot.

First off, remember that your interaction with this girl was THREE YEARS AGO. Don't build a narrative in your head of a long-lost love. She might still think of you occasionally, but she might just consider you a coworker she worked with three years ago and hasn't thought about since. What you thought was interest might have just been politeness. You've both probably changed a lot. Just don't get your hopes super high and expect her to be a certain way. Basically, just try to avoid anything like celebrity worship syndrome.

Hopefully, you've had some contact with her over the years so it's not coming out of nowhere... if you haven't, I would probably drop it to be honest.

That being said, we have Facebook! If you don't see her in real life, send her a message on there. Again, I'm hesitant to give advice without knowing the details, because this is a sensitive situation. If you want to let me know some more, like how often you see her and talk to her, if your friends on facebook, and generally more about your interaction with her, I can give you better advice.

>>719594842
Thanks OP. Will remember advice next time I go to a job interview.

>>719586153
Trump being elected proves once and for all that you can say anything and be OK if you don't act like it was a big deal.

>>719583902
nigga u gay

>>719585401
Do - NOT - put - your - dick - in - crazy

"you have the skillset to fix her issues"
No you don't. You think you do, but you do not. Going into a relationship wanting to 'fix' or 'change' someone NEVER ends well.

>>719586252
>Go to the gym

>Build a routine out of building a better life for yourself (whatever you wanna do; 4chan should be a rarity imo)

>Occasionally go to social events (bars, concerts, other public stuff that adults do) and meet people.

>Some of those people may have parties/gatherings (or you could be that person).

>Repeat and continue for happy life.

PS if you focus on yourself a lot it should help you be more secure when you go to meet people cause you won't feel like you NEED them to be happy (since you got stuff you're doing on your own).

Screenshot this or whatever and go live life.

>>719594113
Yep. Worst case scenario, you get a good sandwich and don't see the girl. Good luck my dude.

>>719594521
Sadly, this is one area I need some help with myself. This guy >>719594842 has good advice. In addition to what he said, use your resources to your advantage. Google "common interview questions" and "tips for interviews" and "best answers to common interview questions" for starters, and spend some time absorbing the info. This will not only help your confidence, but if you happen to get one of the questions or even a slight variant, you'll look much more on the ball with an answer prepped and ready to go (without making it sound fake or memorized).

>>719594573
It took me a while to type but I responded

>>719594850
This is essentially the gist of what I said here >>719586414 and is good advice. Call it "energy" or "micro expressions" or whatever you want, but people are aware of your general feelings.

op if ur still here, im 19 in febuary, i was supposed to go to penn state's engineering school, i look average, im trying to start working out again to slim down a bit, i had to put off college for a year because i lost my "endurance" sitting down and doing homework was psychologically painful and could even cause stomach discomfort. i had 1 or 2 friends but they are at college now. ive been socially isolated for so long i dont know how to reintegrate or where to do it. i have the confidence to walk up and say hi my name is etc but i keep hitting a wall after stuff like fav music/tv shows etc. the other problem is i cant think of any place i can meet ppl my age and not creepily start a convo. for example stopping someone and introducing urself to someone on the street or in line at starbucks imo is kinda creepy and not the right place to do it. any help would be appreciated thx. if u have follow up questions ask away this was a bit of a ramble and not sure i covered everything.

>>719595245
That response wasn't me, but I added a little to it here >>719596070 best of luck!

>>719586252
Sorry, I must have missed this. But yeah, what this guy says here >>719595829 is a good start. I can't stress enough how important finding a social hobby is. It doesn't matter what it is; it could be video game tournaments, Magic tournaments, going to a climbing gym, dancing classes, joining a local sports team, joining an improv group... you get the idea! Just try to minimize your time spent alone playing vidya, watching TV, and jerking it, because those tend to be pretty anti-social hobbies.

>>719595146
Thanks for the thoughts. I understand your point, its a shitty situation. I tried to avoid thinking of her in these years, but recently this is getting harder as I am fixing the things that kept me away from approaching her in first place. Probably I will hold my temptation of messaging her and asking her out for some more time and give it a shot if I fell the same on the future. And if she rejects me I think I will be better, at least I will know how she fell about me.

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>>719593724
I don't have the set, but here is the one other picture I have. I also know the one on the left in this picture is Little Caprice (on the right in the op photo)

>>719596717
And I forgot to mention, I didn't talk to her after I left the job, hooping that I would forget her.

>>719596333
Not OP but I was like you in college. Beta and bullied in highschool. It takes a while to break away but it can happen.

- Realize that you are smart. Engineering is hard. You're going to do it. That means you have something valuable.

- This will sound weird, but I recommend drinking a little. Don't get shitfaced drunk, but drink maybe 1 or 2 beers. Get a buzz. This will relax you. You are giving a shit about too many things that don't matter. Chill. Alcohol isn't evil in moderation. Grab a buzz and just cut loose.

- Set a routine and workout.

- Stop eating garbage fast food bullshit. Learn to cook and eat something healthier. Grill a steak, throw some seasoned veges with it. You would be surprised how much your diet will impact your attitude, mood, behavior, body, ability to do homework, all aspects of life. I suspect that will solve a lot of your physical problems in combination with routine exercise, even if not intense.

- If you can't think of something to say, ask questions instead. Women especially love to talk about themselves. Even if you don't give a shit what the answer is, ask them anyway. Just keep them talking. You'll find something to say eventually.

>>719583902
I wanna buy an overwatch loot box, mind spotting me 2$.

>>719583902
fox or falco?

>>719597093
-i know im smart because of the way i process information, i look for patterns to see how everything is connected in context etc the problem is i just dont do the work. and i was accpeted im technically on a gap year. (advice to anyone who knows they are smart, never assume u are the smartest person in the room even if u are everyone can contribute in some way)
-i dont eat fast food or garbage i have a really expensive palet, filet of fish, nice cuts of meat, i love crustaceans (shrimp lobster clams mussels oysters scallops etc) the problem might be butter etc. but trust me its all organic quality foods.
-just an fyi i do drink when i can i like beer especially stella carlsberg and other similar ones.

>>719596333
I'll respond, give me a sec to type it though

>>719597093
This is all pretty good advice. I've even pounded a couple beers before a date to take the edge off, just don't make a fool of yourself.

>>719597299
Nah

>>719597320
Falco, easy

>>719597093
thx this helped tho. just the response itself helps but the social thing seems practical

>>719596333
Where to meet people? In class. Walk around campus. Go to the bars. Really just go where there are the most people and the loudest. Get a drink and go with the flow.

Ask surprising questions. For example, go up to a girl - Hey, I'm trying to get a group of people together to go to Las Vegas this weekend. Do you want to come? You can bring your friends.

If she says no, fuck it go ask another girl. It really doesn't matter what she says, that will definitely lead to more questions you can ask her. If she says yes, then fucking plan the trip and go to Vegas for a weekend with her. Win/win.

hey im in uni and want to go to parties but all my friends try hard business students, I look decent and dress nice, how do I find and get invited to parties? ps im at a commuter school.

>>719597006
who are the others obv the left one is caprice those were the only fake tits i found hot until i saw the middle one in this one.

>>719598044
im not in college rn

>>719598044
and how exactly would i get served they card everyone and im not risking a trial for a fake id.
ideally im going there this fall but idk

>>719583902
My gf of 3.5 years recently left me after she became depressed and super stressed at her new job. We had an extremely happy/loving relationship, but the new job caused her to stop loving me and she eventually left. Any advice on how to get her back?

>>719598198
College parties don't require an RSVP man lol Walk around campus - especially around Frats and Sororities and look who has loud music. Walk in. If anyone asks, say Joe from X class said there was a party tonight. Joe who? He never told you his last name.

Bring your tryhard friends if you want. Remember to always - always have a drink in your hand when walking around a party. Then just talk to people.

>>719598470
College parties don't ID you. You said you're going to Pen University for Engineering.

>>719598483
There's more to this story. She didn't break up with you because of a job/stress. Don't care if that's what she told you. That's not the whole story. Something probably happened to her that she isn't telling you about.

>>719596717
>>719597057
No problem. If you haven't seen her in person since working together or talked since then, I'm not gonna lie, your chances are a lot slimmer. But not totally nonexistent. You could try just being honest in your message about what happened. Something like, "Hey, I know this is pretty out of the blue, but we worked together at x a few years ago. I was pretty busy then with school, so it's a few years late, but I was hoping we could grab a coffee sometime!"

>>719598792
correct, but i have no idea where or when they will be as again havent lived there yet so idk but im talking about right now, i want to make some friends now

>>719598792
and are u op. he said to give him a sec but i cant tell whos who lol

>>719598949
She became an alcoholic, too. She hid this from me and I only found out when the relationship ended. The stress was a long term thing that was a gradual decay for 8 months. I was trying to get her to get help but she would always put it off.

I wanna talk to people, but once I approach them and get through some small talk I got nothing else to say.

With close friends I never shut up tho.

>>719583902
So I like this kinda socialy awkward girl with about 5 good friends *she isn't a fat nerd* but "she isn't ready for a relationship" should I find someone else or keep trying *really like this girl*

>>719598565
good advice, but my uni is kinda weird, no student housing around the school, no farts or sororities

>>719599305
Yea dude, something happened to her that you don't know about. Probably rape/sexual assault of some sort. Maybe family's involved. Either that or someone died.

Not good news but consistent with that kind of behavior. .

>>719598044
Not a fan of this advice myself.

>>719598198
Get some female friends in your group, and keep them as JUST FRIENDS. It's a lot harder to get invited to parties as a guy, you usually have to be pretty good friends with the people throwing it. Girls, however, will be invited by people they barely know, and get sent like 10 addresses every weekend.

>>719598260
I don't know, post the picture on /b/ and ask for sauce for fuck's sake

>>719598483
I'm sorry man, I don't have any personal experience with something like this so I can't really give advice. It kind of sounds like that's just the excuse she used so she wouldn't feel bad about breaking up with you and maybe make you feel less worse. That's probably not the whole story though. Hope it works out.

>>719599307
Ask questions even if you don't care about the answer. Just keep asking questions until you find something to say. Ask if your shoes make you look fat. Doesn't matter. Just say something.

>>719599313
"she isn't ready for a relationship" means she doesn't know you well enough to know if she likes you or not. Ask her to hang out with you and your friends in a "friend" setting if you want to keep her in your life. Otherwise, move on.

>>719599683
I really don't think so. She would tell me about something like that for sure. It was also such a slow gradual change that I'm sure it wasn't triggered by a single event. She would also tell me about her work constantly and how much it upset her. She would become worse after returning to work from a holiday.

OP did u respond to >>719596333
im not sure if it was u or someone else?

>>719600088
I've been talking to her for like 3 months was going to take her to the movies but there was an ice storm her friends say she likes me but everytime I hint at dateing she just dodges the question

>>719598980
Thanks m8, I get it, I know my chances, but never told anyone about this, its great to have some feedback.

>>719600116
I certainly hope it's not a single event, but there's definitely more going on. People don't break up because 'work is hard' The stress might've made her see she can't lean on you to cut the stress. Who knows. You need to get her talking about what really is going on. I would approach her asking her to meet up with me to help me understand what happened to the relationship. I think women are more likely to do something if you ask them in the context of it helping you. Good luck man.

>>719600390
it's

>>719600492
Thanks anon. Hard to talk to her at the moment. She wants space, and I've said that I won't contact her until she's ready to talk to me again. Over the last week she's messaged twice. Nothing significant, just sent me a youtube video and an imgur link, but nice that she contacts me, even in little ways. I'm hoping she starts talking to me again soon.

>>719600304
If it were me, I would get her alone like driving her home or something and tell her that I wanted to have a relationship with her and I don't want to just remain friends. I need to know because I can't keep being in this state of limbo. Then leave it to her. If she doesn't start talking then start distancing yourself. This may result in her not being with me, but honestly you've been playing that game for 3 months. That's long enough.

>>719583902
Best way to get out of the friend zone without fucking up the relationship?

>>719599305
It might just be her having problems. If she doesn't want help, you're not going to be able to help her. It's too ambiguous for me to really help though. Best of luck

>>719599307
Stop thinking about it so much. You obviously have stuff to say when you're not worried about having stuff to say. Just relax.

>>719599313
I wouldn't give up, but she told you she's not ready, so don't push it. Being friends first is seriously a huge part of building a relationship, so be her friend and just be kind of flirty occasionally. Don't come on too strong.

>>719599158
I'm OP, I haven't responded yet. Sorry for the long wait. Read my posts here >>719585691
>>719592691
>>719596709
especially the part about finding a social hobby. This guy's advice is good too:>>719586414

Google search "social hobbies" and do some research to find something you like in your town, then make yourself go to it!

Read my advice here about finding parties (the second response) >>719599731

File: Reac 117.png (160KB, 638x606px) Image search: [Google]

160KB, 638x606px

>>719583902
Specifically how do you:

1. Make a friend.

2. Get a GF/Ask for numbers

3. Get a fuckbuddy

>>719600951
I honestly think what I should do is just be completely normal and not mention any thing besides just talking and let her bring something up thoughts on this?

>>719601240
1. You start talking to a person more and more and you start doing things together. There's mutual respect and laughter during these interactions.

2. You ask. I'm actually serious, that's all there is to it.

3. Have sex with a girl. Be good at said sex (i.e have physical chemistry with the girl and know what you're doing). Have the relationship conversation and if she doesn't want the relationship or accepts that you don't want a relationship but still wants sex. That is the nutshell of the nutshell of the nutshell version.

>>719600276
I just responded

>>719600304
Read my response about being friends first!

>>719600390
Sure thing, best of luck

>>719600951
Don't do this, ultimatums are a no go

>>719600969
You need to change the way she sees you. Try to only ever show her the best side of yourself. Even if you're friends, keep the emotional, sensitive side of your feelings to yourself. She wants a man who she feels safe with, not a kid who she has to mommy. You want to portray an image of always having your shit together. Try to be relaxed and funny. Hook up with another girl to get your confidence up and maybe stoke some feelings of jealous she didn't know were there. Work out. Things that will raise your sexual appeal.

>>719583902
How do I make and keep friends over long periods of time ?(6+ years )

>>719601810
I'm an autist dude. #1 and #2 gotta be way more specific and step-by-step. Like you don't just walk up to a girl and ask (At least I know that much).

>>719601030
thx that was really helpful, i was talking with my therapist about this and he asked me about what i would want in a friend (likes dislikes) i found out that i couldnt really name activities. I came to the realisation that, i dont do anything, i basically live in limbo. i really like rock climbing but rn my endurance is shit, i might be able to do 1 difficult climb but after that its all easy stuff, (obv this will change after continuous workouts/climbing) i guess i could hang out by the bouldering area and do that while i wait for a "trade a belay" and or workout before/after at the gym there, they have weights a few machines and i think some cardio stuff (treadmill bike etc) although idr if they have the cardio stuff. my therapist also suggested getting a job, but i dont want to work retail, working at earth treks would be a dream but i would also be interested in building sets for theaters. i like carpentry. so i guess i could pursue that

>>719601724
OP here, definitely don't do what that guy said. Keep on talking to her and being her friend, and be flirty with her occasionally. As stupid as it sounds, teasing can do that. I had a girl in my class at the start of this quarter who I was talking to on the first day, and I asked her what her major was, and she kind of said "uhh" and had to think about it for a second. So when she said what it was, I kind of had a smile on my face and i asked "are you sure? cause you kinda hesitated there..." small stuff like that.

>>719601724
If you want the friendship more than the relationship - then do this. The only reason I personally wouldn't is because those things can go on for years. I speak from experience. Eventually I moved on, got married, but still had this unspoken unknown what-if and I hated it. It made our interactions really weird and I had to deal with it after marriage.

See, what you are doing with her right now is providing what she wants from the relationship, and she can continue doing that forever because she is comfortable. You are the one who isn't, so it's on you to initiate change (unless you are comfortable with it of course)

I won't judge, it all depends on what you want more.

>>719602086
lock them in your basement.

>>719602269
She just kinda looks at me wierd when I say small stuff like that and forgot to mention it takes her 3 hours to respond to texts and snaps so fucking frustrating

>>719602102
Yes, actually you do.

>>719583902
So, this girl has totally ghosted me, how can I make it stop?

>>719583902
How do I start a conversation like, a long one? what do I say after the
>How are you?
>I'm fine,you?
>I'm ok thanks

>>719602703
hard to ghost someone face to face. Seriously though, just move on. It's better that way.

>>719602357
I would like a relationship but it seems like I'm just chasing her threw an endless maze

>>719602806
start asking non invasive questions about their life
>What do you do with your life?

>>719602818
shit, she's like the greatest person I've ever met, intelligent, funny interesting, but I guess you're right, like, thanks for participating I guess

>>719602127
Yes! This response actually got me a little excited. You know what you're doing wrong, now change it! Stop whatever vices are preventing you from doing stuff that you know is good for you! Nobody cares if you can only do one climb, everyone was a beginner at some point. A job is great, especially if the other employees are your age. Not only does it provide some structure for your life, but you meet people, even if they're just coworkers! Who knows, you might have some mutual interests!

>>719601240
I'm working on a response

>>719602086
Working on a response

>>719602357
This is true, but don't rush into it. Maybe give it another couple months, trying to do what I said here >>719601863 and if you don't feel like things are changing then you probably already know the answer, but you might as well ask so you don't always have that "what if" like this guy >>719602357 said. Just be aware it might ruin the friend ship.

>>719603066
>>>719602086
still here waiting

>>719602806

There is no hope for you.

Conversations aren't magic. Pick a subject. Talk about it. For best results try anything other than politics or weather. But it usually works even better if one or both of you has a personality and some interest/hobbies.

Then talk about that thing. sports, video games, books, movies, tv shows, music, dancing, sewing, rockclimbing, hiking. it doesnt matter.

Just let YOUR personality come out.

>>719583902
How do I make someone to dislike me, but like, without making it look I want that so people don't think I'm an asshole

>>719602918
See this question sounds so invasive to me

But maybe I'm just autistic.

>>719602834
You have to stop chasing her. It's just how you stop chasing her that will decide things.

Going back to my confrontation with her and telling her that I want a relationship, I would make it clear that she doesn't have to date me, that we would continue to hang out as friends, but that I will move on and start looking for other people. I will stop having interest in her romantically if she doesn't respond. Then I would follow through, because I - personally - don't want that torture. It will give her the opportunity to reflect and think about it and passively make a decision without destroying the friendship.

Again, this is what I would do. OP disagrees and that's a legit position. After X weeks/months/years she might come around.

>>719603170
It's only a shit question if the answer is depressing
>What do you do with your life
>"Browse 4chan, masturbate and piss in bottles while contributing nothing to society"
probably not an A1 dialogue, keep it light and away from cold harsh realities like we're all gonna die and I cut myself regularly

>>719602572
If that's the case, then sorry to say, but she's sending you pretty clear signs she's not interested, and there's nothing you can do. If you keep trying, you'll just look more desperate and dig yourself deeper. It kind of sounds like she's just trying to be nice, and that's the reason she's still answering you at all. Sorry man, sometimes shit just doesn't work out. Move on and find a better girl, they're out there

>>719602703
Not much you can do in that situation. I hate to say it, but if you've repeatedly tried to talk to her and she's ghosted you, she's probably just not interested, and you probably came off as sort of desperate, which makes your chances worse. If you have any mutual friends, go have such a great fucking time with your life that she hears about it and wants a part of it.

>>719603170
You have to be invasive if you ever want to know something about someone else. If you want to be inside a house, you have to enter the house.

>>719603385
>>719603170
ask something more direct right off the bat. Something where you can get an answer and ask more questions. "What was the last book you read" "what do you do for work" "why did you vote for trump you stupid cuck" etc

>>719603186
I aggre with you I won't completely cut her off and I have been dropping big hints on dateing unless she is too dumb to relise it or she is just avoiding it

>>719603576
But see like right now it's instant responses and other times its 1-2 hours

>>719603637
Women are always more aware of the political context then men. She knows damn well what's going on. By telling her you're taking away her deniability which is exactly what you want to do.

>>719603799
I need some sleep man I will read replys
I appreciate all of you guys

>>719583902
OP Do you want me to stop answering people in your thread?

Why are you such an asshole?

>>719604060
Because I fucked your mom last night and she clenched really hard and hurt my dick. I'm dickhurt.

>>719602806
The most important thing is having stuff to talk about. Make sure you do stuff and hang out with friends, because then you can talk about those experiences. Take small talk (something better than "how are you?" would be to ask WHAT they did this weekend instead of how their weekend was) and then keep talking about it if they did something interesting. If not, then you can use something you did (a hike? a funny story that happened with friends) and use it.

>>719603156
Always be adamant that you're right and never admit when you're wrong (and if you are, argue every point you can) and I guarantee people will dislike you

>>719603148
Working on it now, that's a pretty obtuse question and this thread kind of blew up but I'm trying

How do I approach a girl I've literally never talked to before? Assume she has class with me or we eat at the same dining hall. Maybe I know her name maybe I don't.

>>719604273
Say something to her that will make her laugh. Be very very casual about it like you're just being friendly. She's just a person and you're allowed to talk to people.

>>719604134
"Always be adamant that you're right and never admit when you're wrong (and if you are, argue every point you can) and I guarantee people will dislike you" so basically be a republican (cough creationists, cough climate change deniers cough)

>>719604464
fuck you climate change was invented by the chinese.

>>719604545
yes of course it was they only have some of the worst "pollution" and thats why they invented it to crush their energy industry

>>719603997
I don't mind, trolls will get ignored and if you're trying to post actual helpful advice there's no reason to be mad

>>719604273
This one's easy. Sit by her in class and say something funny about the class/professor. You have mutual ground in those areas, so use it. With older/boring professors, or ones who lecture a lot, a line I use is (paraphrasing) "This professor's voice makes me so tired. I should get a recording of it so I can play it before bed, I'd fall right asleep" Once you've broken the ice, just talk to her about whatever.

>>719604758
communist

>>719604129
Cool story bro.

>>719604932
i prefer the phrase social democrat

>>719601240
1. Find some common ground and use it. Read my post here about getting a social hobby >>719596709 and cut down on your anti-social hobbies. Say "How's it goin man?" or something to break the ice. Then, say something about the mutual experiences you've had. It can be homework for a class you're in, a teacher you both have, something currently going on around you. Depends on the circumstances really, but there's always something.

2. This is trickier. But read my response here: >>719585691

3. Again, see here >>719585691

>>719602609
Not a lot of help...

Can you pretend you're explaining #1-3 as if you were explaining it to an alien (With autism)?

>>719602086
>>719603148
I've already answered quite a few questions on how to make friends, read these:
>>719605339
>>719596709
If that isn't enough, more people pitched in:
>>719586414

>>719605794
OP here. This guy's >>719601810 advice is good for 1 and 3, but the way he says it in 2, you just walk up to a random girl and ask her to be your girlfriend. YOU DON'T. That is shit advice. I guess you could do that for a number, but I don't think your success rate would be too high. I just responded in another post though, so hopefully that helps.