Hey, folks. /b/'s friendly neighborhood surgeon here. It's

>>719576400
How do i get a bigger dick without surgery

>>719576400
What's this?

>>719576400
What do they taste like?

what the hell happened to that guy ?

>>719576525
This

>>719576400
What's a surgery that made you gag inside?

>>719576400
Lies... nig nog reporting in

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>>719576525

you dont

>>719576537

Not my case (none of these are), but looks like a segmental mandibulectomy, floor of mouth resection, and very limited neck dissection.

Usually done for cancer.

Why do I last longer in bed when I'm hammered?

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How fucked is this guy?

Have you ever had a patient wake up mid-surgery?

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>>719576592

Just a cancer surgery. People can actually look relatively normal after something like this. It looks dramatic because skin flaps are lifted up, but you can see his cheek is just flipped up for exposure, and once it's suture back into place, things should look it.

Will need to reconstruct the area of bone that's missing, obviously.

>>719576645

Eh, butt stuff. I haven't done any anorectal surgery since I was an intern (many years ago). Head and neck surgery doens't really bother me at all.

How do I get a toothpic out of my urethra?

I've got really bad teeth. UK fag here. Is it a good idea to just have the bad teeth removed en masses and get false teeth? I'm over 35 so yeah they're fucked ..

>>719576400
Otolaryngologist? How do you not want to kill yourself in clinic after dealing with cerumen impaction, globus sensation, and sinusitus patients all day?

How bad is it for me to drink my own shit?

>>719576400
I have this painful area on the roof of my mouth, and some noticeable bumps. My hunch is that its an outbreak of herpes (which i get on my nose and lips from time to time) but could it be cancer?

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Is this pizza healthy?

>>719576928
That looks highly reparable

>>719576400
please get off b and save your dignity

Say I were to get a penny lodged in my eye socket... Is that something I should go to the emergency room for?

>>719576400
I get sores on my feet in cold weather, what gives?

How much tequila is too much tequila?

How much hot sauce can I put up my butthole in enema form before I start causing problems?

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>>719576928

They could probably replant it.

Not if it's wedged in a hinge tho...

>>719577027

Yes, I always think so. Salvage dental work is very expensive and you often need to get the teeth yanked later anyway. Dentures can get look great.

>>719577091

Yes, I'm an ENT. I saved myself by going into head and neck surgical oncology.

I still get plenty of cerumen/globus/sinus patients who somehow filter into my clinic, but the residents do most of that shit.

>>719577106

Probably pretty bad, but there's no randomized controlled studies on this.

>>719577123

Cancer generally looks pretty ugly and either ulcerates or grows a big fleshy mass, not subtle bumps.

>>719577166

Who would do that

>>719577229

I've been here for at least a decade. I can't leave.

>>719577540
Why didn't they shave his mustache?

>>719577540
Thank you, doc. Now I can go back to suckin dicks

Have you ever heard of anyone coming into the ER for being stabbed with a pickle? and if not, would you like to see that happen?

I have huge respect for surgeons OP, I always wanted to be one when I was a kid, thank you.

I have a question. If you could point out the 5 BIGGEST flaws in the healthcare sector, what would they be and why?
If so, can you keep 1 point about cancer. Thanks again /b/ro.

>>719577540

Last surgery you did?

>>719576400
I'm thinking of becoming a dentist. Is it worth it?

>>719576400
These pictures have been on 4chan since 4chan. People actually fall for this bait?

>>719577540
Bad tooth guy here. Thanks for the advice doc. I have ingrown wisdom teeth (yes even at my age) and back teeth are ground to shit.

>>719576400
How do you stop the blood flow when your patient is all cut open and your performing surgery? Like the guys face in your pic.

>>719576400
my girl's a third year on rotation rn for internal medicine, props for what you do--the hours alone seem like a nightmare

>>719576400
What is the annual cost of your medical malpractice insurance?

What was your gross income your first year after fellowship?

What are your gross and net income now?

>>719578073
Yes. But not you eh? Too smart to fall for the scammers aren't you

>>719577540
Shaving accident?

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>>719576400
Has one these ever made it into the operating room while surgery was underway?

>>719578430
What is it?

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>>719577279

Yes. Don't you agree?

>>719577371

Probably dry.

>>719577437

When you asphyxiate on your vomit.

>>719577664

Why shave it? I'll shave a beard or mustache if I'm making an incision through it, but I don't need to have something that won't bother me. Just prep it with iodine beforehand.

>>719577807

No and yes

>>719577928

Complexity of insurance, poor medical literacy of public, consumerist approach to healthcare delivery, burdensome regulations making EMR horrific, and shotgun oncologic care (docs across different systems not communciating with each other but somehow treating cancer patients).

>>719577972

Thyroidectomy yesterday afternoon.

>>719578073

These are pics from google or textbooks. I do not use my patient pics in these threads. I've been posting these threads for probably ~5 years.

>>719578598
What's the worst thing you've seen?

i have had phimos since i was can ever remember,
21 now
Should i get it fixed?

There is a lump near where my upper right parathyroid should be. It's about the size of a pea and it swells and shrinks depending on my health. What is it?

>>719578598

2nd semester med student here, just beginning on cardio physiology. Already stressing over Step 1. Any advice for me?

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>>719578216

If a blood vessel starts to bleed, you can either tie it off (if it's large) or (usually) just use electricity to "char" the area to stop bleeding. Usually bipolar cautery for head and neck.

>>719578232

What does she want to go into? M3 year can be tough. Tell her it gets better.

>>719578265

~$60k for malpractice.

I was salaried after fellowship <$300k. Now my gross income (not including benefits, just before tax essentially) is ~$450k.

I'm an academic head and neck surgeon, and my department has nice incentives for productivity in terms of "eat what you hunt".

>>719578414

Oh, yes. It was terrible.

>>719578430

When I was a med student at Cook County hospital in Chicago, sometimes my job was to swat the flies from the OR.

>>719576400
Is it illegal for you to take/share photos of your patients in the operating room?
Aren't you supposed to abide by a confidentiality agreement?

>>719579123
He's been over this. They aren't his patients, these pictures are from text books

>>719579090
What are the stereotypes different classes of surgeons have about each other?

Do you always have to you a tracheotomy? Or only when you're cutting through the trachea?

>>719576940
Please answer this, like one with half his head opened up?

>>719579186
I see...

>>719577166
Wow, I had a dream about half-covered pizzas last night, they looked exactly like that. This is trippy as fuck...

>>719576400
you made this thread a few weeks ago.

Thanks for coming back Doc, always happy to see your threads. Nurse Anesthetist fag here at your service. What music do you like to hear in the OR?

>>719576400
EMS master race reporting in.

>>719577540
Are these all from shit like chewing tobacco? I've noticed that nearly all the patients have fucking terrible oral health.

>>719576400
What's the minimal procedure which can decrease the wrinkles under my eyelids?
I'm a guy, but I prefer to date younger (I'm 36) and those are the only things that give my real age away.

>>719577166
NONE PIZZA
LEFT BEEF

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>>719578871

Hrm. Hard to say. I see a lot of sad cases and people on death's doorstep.

I saw a dog that was hit on the side of the road yesterday driving home. Bothered me more than anything I've seen in last year, honestly.

Most of my cancer practice these days is "salvage" surgery, i.e. patients who were given radiation for their cancer but the radiation didn't work. Even if I do a "perfect" surgery on these patients, the data tells me that 2/3 will be dead two years out from surgery. I know that going into the case. So cancer troubles don't really bother me.

>>719578944

Yes, why not.

>>719578972

Probably a lymph node (lymph nodes less than 1.5cm common in healthy young people <30 years old).

You'll never feel a parathyroid tumor unless it's a gigantic cancer (like at least 3cm), and parathyroid carcinoma is insanely rare (never seen one in training or practice).

>>719579007

Study your butt off. You won't regret it. Doing well on STep 1 opens a lot of doors.

>>719579123

None of these photos are of my patients.

I routinely take photos in the OR, but use them for personal review/teaching. These are all photos from textbooks or google.

so I'm gonna have some dissections next semester of human bodies, will they phase me if I look at these pics and not feel a thing?

>>719576717
>spits chewing tobacco out

>>puts another chew in

>>719579653
I've got a fleshy lump in my jaw. It's like halfway along, on the right side, to the inside of the jawbone. Quite deep, I have to really prod to find it. It moves easily, but not far. It appeared / I noticed it when I was ill, but it's been 3 weeks and it's still there. It a toomah?

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>>719579284

ENT surgeons are generally considered "gentleman surgeons" (very nice people), but the head and neck surgical oncologists (like me) are a unique breed of masochists.

Neurosurgeons are workaholics

General surgeons are assholes

Plastic surgeons are primadonnas

Cardiothoracic surgeons are cowboys

>>719579338

What do you mean? Patients don't have tracheotomies unless I cut into their trachea to create one.

>>719579347

No, no one wakes up.

>>719579527

I can't remember making one in at least 3 months.

>>719579566

Usually 80s alternative

>>719579601

Usually smoking. Rarely chewing tobacco (I think fewer people chew)

>>719579602

Are they wrinkles that show up when you smile or are they always there?

Botox will reduce "dynamic" wrinkles (when you move your face), but otherwise fillers or surgery are used to treat static rhytids.

all of this pandering from these charities and there is still no cure to cancer, so where is the money even going towards?

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Where do you begin with this guy

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Do you have one of these on your desk?

>>719580102
They're static, though hard to see if I've slept well and have applied toner.
Do you know if fillers can last and will actually stay in place and not end up giving me a distorted appearance? Or is surgery the only answer (and how can they hide the incision scars under your bottom eyelids when there's nowhere obvious to put them)

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>>719579778

Different things bother different people.

I remember the penis and scrotum dissections really bothering me. Everything else, meh.

>>719579971

See you in 15 years, bud.

And believe me. You never want to meet me. Seeing my face is usually the worst day of your life.

>>719580077

Probably a lymph node. Stop freaking out. Unless it's >2cm. Then it's a tumor.

>>719580221

Marketing for pretty pink ribbons.

No one gives a shit about head and neck cancer since all my patients are homeless chain-smoking alcoholics, so we get no charity support.

>>719580330

ABCDEs of trauma. Secure airway first.

Beyond that, when I see something like that, clean everything out, cut out anything obviously dead, sew together what's left, and 1-2 weeks after initial trauma try to plate whatever bones are fractured. The soft tissue work will be a project for a few years.

>>719576400

finishing up my degree in Electrical Engineering and heavily considering applying to med school, what led you to choose surgery?

Do you ever work with periodontists in the operating room, or is that completely unrelated to what you do?

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okay, have a good night, I'm going to bed, /b/.

How long did it roughly take you to get used to the gore?

>>719580678
Was it ever worth it for you? Going through years of study? In the end, do you ever get to spend the money you earn?

I'm 24 and dropped out of college when I was 18 because I got rejected. I was hoping to become a Biomedical Engineer, possibly getting into regenerative medicine.

I'm into my sisters real estate business now. Not sure if I should stick with it, or quit and start school again.

You ever practiced maxillofacial surgery on retrognathy? Any pics of that?

>>719576400
i am peeing blood what should i do?

>>719579566
Master P

>>719576400
Dis jus most likely fake as fuck. And if it isn't and someone finds out who you are you're gonna get that medical license of yours swiped out of your hand faster than you can spell HIPPA.

How long did it roughly take you to get used to the gore? Also why are using forks to hold down the tissue?

>>719576400

I've had a surgery a couple of months ago, where my stomach was slit open and all my intestines was taken out. I asked the doctor to take a pic for me and he did.
Have anyone ever asked you to take a pic of them during surgery?

>>719578598
swear to god i know this guy, any chance you could share the location this guy's from to confirm?

>>719581468
Already been through this nigga damn! Read the fucking thread noobtube. Late ass nigga

>>719581826
Internet stock photo

>>719576400
What kind of margins do I need on this epithelial-myoepithelial carcinoma of the parotid?

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>>719577540
OP I'm just curious about something, does this fuck with your head at all? Do you look at other people as instead of being well, beings do you see them as parts? I feel like if I did see the inside of someone to that extent I wouldn't be able to really get the idea that they are the conciousness like my self. Just a walking meant puppet.

>>719582055
College rule margins fam

I had surgery yesterday to remove my gynecomastia and they to told me to go shower after 48 hours. but the sutures hurt, i don't want to hyperextend and stuff.

i mean the least i can do is clean everywhere else around me but i dont want to take any damaging risks around my pecs. and my bigger problem is putting back my gauze. i dont have anyone to help since i live on my own. so it's gonna be a bitch to put it back on, so that's mainly my primary hesitation.