sup /b/ my friends, this greentext is not a shitpost but a genuine

look for a job
you want respect? you'll have to work for it, m8

>>719394299
i can't find a job because they look at my file and see complaints about being unhygienic. sort of tempted to work as a start craft 2 coach.

>>719394350
your parents want a legit job, like being an accountant or some shit like that. being a starcraft 2 coach will probably make things worse
try improving personal hygiene and become better person
when was the last time you brushed your teeth?

What kind of inbred hick of a 24 year old blows spit bubbles? How is that not the worst part of this? You're a fucking 6 year old in a body 4 times your age. You don't deserve help.

>>719394458
i dont want a job that doesn't involve not working in a fast food place since i can eat their and work (i do it in secret) and some of the girls there are sort of hot but i get red faced when they talk to me (i think they like me because one time on a late night shift i was talking about atheism and politics and the new world order).

as for teeth brushing i have an electric toothbrush so i only need to brush once every 2 days.

you fucken filthy grub cunt go kill yourself you spec cunt, no fucken weeaboo fat cunt in their mid 20's deserve respect

>>719394633
>(i think they like me because one time on a late night shift i was talking about atheism and politics and the new world order).
i've never heard of a girl that gave two shits about that
eating food in secret is plenty reason enough that they shouldn't hire you if you actively do it
two days? nigga, you're supposed to do it twice everyday

>>719394216

i think if you propose to your parents to seriously alter your life and that you want help with that that they would be downright cunts to deny you that help

>What do I do?

Get a job and do aerobics, faggot. Then comes self respect, and then you'll be able to stamp your middle finger in the face of your family

cont~

>my dad asks his work friends if their daughters are interested in his son (not the 16yr old one)
>they look at my facebook and say they their daughters aren't available
>dad knows whats up
>he asks me to use acne cream and take cold showers and do my brothers exercise routines.
>i say no because thats too much effort on my part
>he literally says "then stay a fat cunt! go watch more of your Japanese cartoons and die at the age of 50"
>i say hes a disgraceful farther and give him a medium effort to his face
>it only enraged him and he literally gets the laptop i'm using and wacks me in the knee with the corner
>i scream and he storms out and starts asking my mum to kick me out
>mum backs me up and says stuff like "give him one more chance then we will kick him out and tell nan not to contact him"
>i let out a huge sigh of relief
>i start over exaggerating my knee so i don't have to do the exercise
>dad gives me 2 days to recover and he says he's sorry
>i've got one day left

what do i do /b/? should i fake another sickness or only do a half of the exercise in my room so i sweat and say i did it? i really don't want to do it, i am who i am.

>>719395365
>I give him a medium effort

correction
>i gave him a medium effort slap.
my mums keyboard doesn't work and i've got bad internet and i forgot

>>719395365
how about you stop looking for excuses and just start improving yourself? in a long run, its totaly worth it.
also, this looks like b8

>>719395365
>>719395557
this
if you want them to not kick you out, give them a good reason not to

>>719395365
this is bait right? do you realize how childish and ungrateful you sound?

get a fucking job you loser

>>719394216
Wow you are a loser. Punch your brother the fuck out. Cuck your dad.

>>719394350
what file?

>>719395557
"looks like b&"
yeah sure bro, its my body and i don't think you realise how hard exercise is. I think you should stop riding my dick because this isn't your problem.

>>719395621
they are my family, they won't kick me if i stay under the radar

>>719395667
i forgot to mention i help with doing some jobs like taking out the bins and feeding the dog and helping my brother with homework so i have the right to complain since i am doing so much

>>719395679
im trying, look at this reply i made >>719394633

>>719395767
the file the job people look at when i ask for a job. i can't get it deleted btw.

>>719395767
the txt file which is his CV

>>719395814
they will kick you out if you keep this up
just because they're family doesn't mean they'll give you a free pass when you fuck up
see: every abusive family member ever

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>>719395814

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>>719395814

>>719395939
if they try i will just say "i'm sorry" and "that i'm their son". its worked before.

>>719395814
i workout 6 times a week, been doing sports my whole life you fat fuck...you know what, stay unhappy and miserable, you said you wanted advice but you just want to reasurred its okay for you to stay a fedora wearing faggot. you deserve to be harrased by your family....what a disgrace

>>719396264
also, 7/10 for making me reply to this shitty bait

>>719396225
What a waste of life.
Answer this question: whats your contribution to Society?

>>719396225
did you try killing yourself?

>>719396225
just because it worked before doesn't mean it will work the twentieth time
why are you talking about what will happen if you fuck up and not focusing on getting you life on track?

>>719396302
i did serve people at red rooster one point in time and thats about it. i'm 24, haven't had much time to do something. I am trying to go to art class so i can start my manga and do it over the years and gain a massive fanbase and make millions.

>>719396395
Ohh fuck off hes not even trying to hide the bait anymore

>>719396395
if were my son, i'd beat the shit out of you daily just for being a weaboo neet and a general dissapointment in life

>>719396650
what if he's being serious
w

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>>719396395

>>719395679
>>719394633
you wanna go a bit deeper with the triple negative? it's not hard to get a job that's not fast food. go to whatever retail stores are nearby. you're not trying.

>>719394633
>as for teeth brushing i have an electric toothbrush so i only need to brush once every 2 days.
also what the fuck is wrong with you

>>719396916
Not enough replies to that point, in a few weeks he Will be asking his brother for oats

FUCK YOU CUNTS, INSTEAD OF COMING UP WITH A STRATEGY AROUND MY ASSHOLE FAMILY AND SHIT LIFE, YOU SIT THERE AND POST B& IMAGES. FUUUCCKKK THIS!!! I SAID THIS IS A GENUINE POST AND YOU CUNTS SPIT ON MY FACE.

please /bros/ i need help and not to be laughed at, everyone has their ups and downs and what they do in their personnel life. I've seen you guys help people in need and right now i need it. help me, (if you do help it cant involve exercise and finding a job as i don't want to do them). i cant find a job for fastfood. might make the sacrifice and find a different job.

>>719394216
by far the best greentext troll of 2017 so far. well done anon, bravo.

>>719397109
>HELP ME (but I cant do any effort to improve my own life)

>>719397109
my
fucking
god
put some effort into what you do instead of fucking making excuses
you want your family to not make fun of you?
you want to be respected by your peers and be the superior person?
then PUT SOME EFFORT INTO IT YOU CUNT

>>719397202
i need advice that doesn't involve me doing exercise or finding a job and as i said i might make the sacrifice of working a shit job that isn't fast food.

serious question here
do you have autism

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>>719394216
You should find yourself a rich beautiful girl like the one on this pic. That would solve all your problems.

>>719397109
your first mistake was going to /b/ and call for help

you know 4chan isn't just /b/ and there are other more fit boards to help you with this

someone screenshot this.

>>719397415
I DON'T NEED EXERCISE

>>719397376
no. why would you think that?

>>719397383
There OP a solution with your criteria. Now fuck off

>>719397461
Now hes going to say hes gay so it isnt helpful

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REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EFFORT REQUIRED TO MAKE CHANGES IN MY LIFE I DONT LIKE IT REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Can I be included in screen cap? Someone upload this shit to imgur

>>719397458
by fit boards I didn't mean /fit/ lol
was thinking more about /adv/

>>719397458
maybe you should get yourself tested or some shit
symptoms of autism include
>Lack of empathy. People with autism may have difficulty understanding another person's feelings, such as pain or sorrow.
like you and your family
>Difficulty understanding their listener's perspective. For example, a person with autism may not understand that someone is using humor. They may interpret the communication word for word and fail to catch the implied meaning.
like how you don't see how we see things

>>719397710
no i don't have autism, i got put in counselling when i was a kid and they just said i was socially awkward.

>>719397677
>>719397455
the fact people are saying this makes my blood pressure rise and just leave my post.

>>719395365
I work for a company called Polaris. If you are brave enough to post your address, I will contact the rest of the team and try to get your parents put in jail for neglect, and physical damage.

Don't ham up the knee when they get ahold of you, just say exactly what your dad did, because that is all that is wrong with you and we will know it.

>>719394216

You sound pathetic.

Stop being a fat, useless faggot.

Or kys, I don't know lol.

>>719397812
ah
still, i wouldn't rule it out of the realm of possibilities

>>719395722
this is only option OP, when my dad started treating me like this I just pushed him. Every time he gets a little bigger you have to push him back down, until he's on his death bed trying to stand and you just make sure he doesn't by pushing on his face with your left hand

it's a glorious day when that happens. i thought I was going to skip my dads funeral.

>>719397924
somebody had to say it, ya know?

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AnonOP i have the perfect solution for all this.... KILL YOURSELF. That isnt too much effort. No exercise required.

>>719397383
nudes?

>>719397109
you want advice how to improve your life, and when everyone tells you only thing for you to do is turn your life around....you start bitching like a little child. So fuck you, and i hope you stay miserable

OP, they are going to throw your ass out. The key to the solution is to start gradually changing. Examples:
1. Work on that hygiene. Make a routine of showering at least once per day and brushing your teeth when you get up and when you go to bed.
2. Set a minimum goal to submit X job applications per week.
3. Start walking every day, at least 30 minutes per day. It's a great way to get your mind straight and also get exercise.
4. Find some free online courses, maybe you will find something you are passionate about.
5. Finally, and most importantly, make it a goal to move into your own place after you have secured employment.

>>719394350
Has this event actually occurred?
Have you gone to a job interview where the people actually told you to leave because of that?
Or are you just using that as an excuse to feel sorry for yourself and not do anything to improve your current situation?

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>>719398410
I hope the useless fatcunt gets beaten to shit by his brother and put on the streets by his parents. I chose to move out straight after school and ive had to work myself to the fucking bone to survive.... now its 2nd nature to get up early and get my ass to work so i dont need support from parents or dear old nan like in OP's case. Useless fucking oxygen thief

RUN OP RUN /b/ HAS BEEN TAKEN BY NORMIES

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>>719398613
RUN OP RUN /b/ HAS BEEN TAKEN BY NORMIES

How bout younkys too fucking manbaby supporting faggot

>>719394216
Get off your ass and do something with your life. You're 24 years old, get /fit/ at least then your family can't call you fat.

>>719394216
Get a fucking job you fat fucking n33t. You're 24, unless you're disabled, or mentally challenged there's no need to be living with your parents, and to get bullied by your little brother who'd probably beat the fuck out of you is pathetic. Your parents are right, you do need weight watcher, a job, a gf, and a fucking goal in life.

>>719398488
i like some of the advice but some of it is too demanding. fuck that. i will do the job and hygiene thing but the other things can fuck off.

>>719398495
i get denied an interview because my old boss lied and said i was blowing spit bubbles near the fries,

>>719397962
haha hope that is true.

>>719398554
fuck you, its harder for others

>>719399041
after reading everything you posted, i sincerely hope you stay miserable for the rest of your life

>>719394216
1-800-94-JENNY

>>719399041
you wanted advice and you got advice. Just realise no one will do the changing instead of you, if you realy want respect of your family, its time to start doing something in that direction....or you can cry for eternity behind your shitty laptop because ''its just too demanding''.
Pussy.

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>>719399041
Its the fucking same for 80% of us. If you went to average schools with average intelligence and average grades you can find a average job in retail or learn a fucking trade... plumbing or trucking or fucking carpenter. Very few people will make it to the 1%. Thats why its called the 1% you dumb cunt. Theres a shit ton of options available for everyone but oh fuck please no i cant be a plumber... i cant drive.... please mommy let me breastfeed so i dont have to chew my food. Fuck i hate spimeless faggots who are so fucking scared and/or pathetic that breathing is almost too much effort. Fucking forced 3 year army service should come back. Children should be beaten when they dont follow rules. Internet access should be restricted based on grades.

>>719399041
>>but the other things can fuck off
OP, please try the walking thing for at least a week. Listen to some music while you do it, it will really make you feel a lot better physically.

i think suicide is your only option

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>>719400229
Nah he has sooooo many options. Suicide os just the only one that fits all his criteria

>>719394216
Delete facebook, lift and dont be a faggot.

You have no respect for yourself or your parents and your a beta, you need to eat a lot of raw foods, red meat and shellfish (losbster,prawns, etc) to raise your test, its probably really low you should check that out, or just be a faggot beta forever
Your choice

if b8:
nice one

if not:
you are an ungrateful waste of space, you deserve to stay "miserable" you useless fat fuck

OP, I forgot to mention counseling. That shit helps. Mostly because it's easier to talk to people outside your family about personal issues.

Your mom is okay with your dad having a girlfriend?

i hope you brother beats you

>>719395365
SELF LOATHING CENTRAL.

FAGGOTS LIKE YOU GIVE /b/ A BAD NAME. NOT EVERY /B/TARD IS A FAT AS FUCK MOTHERFUCKER - BUT YOU AND PEOPLE LIKE YOU POST AND MAKE EVERYONE BELIEVE WE ARE.

YOU KNOW, THEY SHOULD KICK YOU OUT - SO THAT YOU LEARN TO APPRECIATE WHAT YOU "HAD" AND THEN MAYBE - JUST FUCKING MAYBE - IF YOUR WEAK MIND ALLOWS FOR IT - TRY AND GET IT BACK.

>>719394216
Get a job and get your own place. If you are smart about it, there are plenty of jobs that will pay you to do very little

>>719400994
like what?

you see how he reacts to basic advice? why are you lot trying to actually help him, let him crush and burn

none of you are helping. tomorrow i'm going to pretend i have a headache and i can't do exercise. later in the day i might take some money from my mum, call a taxi and go to my nans. I've been planning this since i made this post. she doesn't have freaky fucking rules and doesn't harass me. as for wifi i will have to let it go. in 3 days from now i got an interview at a local fish'n'chip shop. look who's taking the high road now lol. i will stick around for a bit to see your envious reactions :)

(ill hide a cute little face here :3)

>>719397383
Rich? Bitch those laminate floors. She hot, but hardly "rich"

>>719394216
assert your dominance and kill or mortally wound him

OP, life isn't sentient. It doesn't give a shit if you're miserable or happy. You have to make your own life, go set goals for yourself and work on achieving them. I know depression is tough, it may make you feel lethargic and apathetic but no matter how hard it may be, you need to start doing something. Slow pace, no pressure. Start by working out, making new friends because It sounds like either your friends are utterly retarded or you don't have any because character is complete shit. Don't improve yourself for your parents because one day they won't be there to see the man you've become, do it for yourself. Life is how you make it. You reap what you sow. If you were to kill yourself no one would give a fuck. Keep that in mind, OP. Make the world your bitch.

>>719395365
Have you considered using modern medicine to solve your problems? Maybe some phentermine and something nootropic? Or maybe just good old fashioned testosterone injections or other steroids. Use this to help your willpower towards diet (phentermine is a decent appetite suppressant and will keep ya nice and up) and exercise (testosterone will help get your mind right for getting in shape so you can mate)

>>719394216
>>719394299
>>719394350
>>719394438
>>719394458
>>719394633
>>719395365
>>719395459
>>719395814
>>719395767
>>719396225
>>719396302
>>719396395
>>719397109
>>719397458
>>719397710
>>719397812
>>719398488
>>719398495
>>719399041
>>719400743
>>719401133

Haha someone please get all of these and put them in a screen cap. B& or not this is some rage inducing cringe material to be used in future threads. We can compare lazy fucks like this guy to other people by using a screen cap like this. Kys OP

>>719401404
Anon, I wish I had had you as a friend when I was 20. I almost became a similar specimen, not due to any autistic tendencies, but just from good old emotional neglect. At least I know how not to parent from their example :)

>>719401404
>>making new friends because It sounds like either your friends are utterly retarded or you don't have any because character is complete shit.

yeah i got friends, and some of them are starcraft pros so fuck you.

and for the other advice it made me think for a bit, but i don't need it. everything is going good for me now if you read this >>719401133

>>719394216
If say you need to come up with better b8, but this thread proved otherwise.

Are you really that addicted to (You)'s that you need to do this?
You need to reconsider this faggotry OP.

>>719394216
Just pull the fucking trigger already you fat obese cunt not even your family loves you, take the hint and fucking die already you worthless scum.

>>719396395
Lol at 24 I had a degree and a good job in my field. I had lots of friends and lots of sex. Most people who I know did roughly as well as me by that age and some even did better. Life offers opportunities, but not often to the guy sitting at his computer doing nothing

>>719401545
Why not you faggot?
You need others to do what you want done?
That means you're a useless cunt that can't even control digital images.

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>>719401133

>>719394216

Burn the house down one night with your family in it. Claim insurance and victory!

>>719401947
I only got ms paint and I don't know how to use it.

>>719402113
How is that anybody else's problem but yours?

>>719402113
You and OP need to start a club together.

>>719395814
>the file the job people look at when i ask for a job. i can't get it deleted btw.

Help guys, I accidentally my 46mb job file

>>719402113
If on firefox, search for a free add-in called fireshot. It will take a screenshot of the entire document in the browser, even the parts of the window that are not shown.

>>719401033
You would need a degree, but it consulting is generally simple and has decemt payout, and you can work from home and never see anyone.

>>719397109
>B& images
>/bros/
>personnel

This bVIII gets better and better

look online on how to make a proper resume. find work dont be picky. grow up and change that mentality of yours (blowing spit bubbles wtf) i can kinda see why your family mocks you sets some goals like save up some money and buy a decent pc/laptop to entertain yourself. you were able to live on your own, you can do it again

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>>719397677
Anon delivers.

>>719402860
> anon delivars to a faggot

Good job faggot.

>>719403328
unto u a faggot is born. Nominum Patrum Niggnogamus Domine.

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>>719401625
Thanks anon. I also didn't have anybody to advise me and straighten me up. That's why I usually get over dramatic when it comes to this topic.

>>719403902
>>I usually get over dramatic when it comes to this topic.
Completely understandable. Only people who have been done wrong in this way can understand the anger and indignation that we feel.

So why don't /b/tards that keep posting cp just change their ip after every post instead of using proxies

>>719404745
Fuck. Wrong thread

>>719394216
Sounds like you need to get you life together, get fit, stop being such a shit, get off the computer during the daylight hrs unless only for job search , go for long walks and jog some... sounds like you got plenty of time... help your folks around the house... stop being a shit lord... ps you deserved to be fired being the asshole you are.

familicide

>>719395459
Wants help , gets help, deny help... OP will be a shitlord for life (lucky that will only be a few more years) perhaps being cut off he will loose weight.

>>719394350
fix yourself up
get healthy
eat healthy
lift
go for jogs
wash and maintain yourself
enroll in courses or get a temp job
you have net access so stop wasting time on anime and vidya and use it to benefit your life

it can be hard but nothing in life comes easy
the only obstacle is yourself

instead of chasing your brother and his friend for the wifi
use a libary

your parents are giving you tough love
deal with it
they are in every sense putting up with you bullshit

that star craft is silly
look for a real job
and yse your common sense
like really would you accept chips from a restaurant if the guy fryin them is blowing spit bubbles?

no
no excuses
grab your shit n pull it together
you only get one shot at life and every moment is setting your future
the more effort you put in the greater the future you might have

>>719395814
Again asks for help gets legit advice and complains. This is shitlord B8