So it just so happens that right now I have a sausage in my ass

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I have so many fucking questions. please explain anon

Explain how you arrived to this point in your life OP

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I somehow found this appropriate.

>>719340421
>>719340513
Well, I made some hotdogs for dinner, but I had one extra sausage. I was already full and I couldn't save it for tomorrow because I would never eat just one hotdog. So I put it in a platte and brought to my bedroom to decide what to do with it.
First I though to ask /b/ what destiny to give to the sausage. But them I realized that people would just tell me to put it in my ass, so I decided to think of something else.
Ends up that the lingering thought of the sausage in my ass was making me curious. Like, really curious. Not curious like "OMG I just want to feel this meat sausage deep in my ass", more on the lines of "What would happen if I actualy did it?".
One thing led to another and now I'm stuck in this situation and the sausage is stuck in my butt. What do I do?

>>719340304
Did it feel good???

>>719340304
Dude, I don't know how to tell you this, but you're going to the ER. Sorry man.

>>719341045
So now youre just sat there with a sausage stuck up your ass? lmao. I guess autism is a bitch, huh.

>>719340304
Don't do anything. the sausage is happy where it is.

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>>719341045
this is the next level in egoism

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are people actually this fucking stupid on 4chan?

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It could be worse

>>719341226
Felt like shiting, but backwards.

>>719341422
Right now I'm actually squatting, with my buthole open, trying to shit it out. Had to put the laptop on the ground so I could browse and not get bored. Though my legs are starting to hurt.

I find this funny because I'm too dumb too cook as well as this anon, but at the same time I'm smart enough that I would never stick something like that in my butt.

>>719341695
What is that?

>>719340304
I think you should just live with your mistake.

>>719341936
Buzz lightyear Anon.

>>719341936
It is a buzz lightyear action figure

>>719341045
>people would tell me to stick it up my ass
>so i decided to think of something else
>so I stuck it up my ass

If it is cooked, I really want to know how you managed this. If it is raw enjoy your tapeworm even if you do get it out.

>>719340304
Stick another sausage up there and eventually you'll poop both out

>>719341936
That, my friend, is a man with a buzz light-year action figure lodged in his ass.

>>719341936
An X-ray of a guy who doesn't know the difference between a Woody and a Buzz

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>>719341695

>>719342022
It's raw. And yes I'm very scared of that kind of shit, the sausage is in there for a while now.

Someone post the green text, maybe op will laugh it out.

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Did you try asking the nigger fucking your ass to pull out?

>>719342534
Wait, did you seriously slide it in bareback? The threads been up for about half an hour now. So the enzymes in your intestinal tract have probably already broken through the casing on it and exposed the meat. Enjoy your worms and some other fun diseases.

>>719343104
Bullshit. How could a worm appear from sausage?

>>719343104
Y-yeah... I thought it would be easy to just poop it out. Fuck, I saw so much porn of girls just pooping giant dildoes out of their asses with ease. How could a little fucking sausage be a problem?
Anyway, when I made the thread it was already about 2 hours of trying to shit it out. If you guys don't help me out I don't know what I will do.

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>>719342534
Go to the ER fuck nuts.

>>719340304
Try using a showerhead to fill your ass with water. I was in same situtation except with a banana. When the shitty water came out the pressure pushed the banana out halfway. Then I just pulled it off.

>>719340304
I'd just wait op. It will come out eventually

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>>719343403
Fucking a and e you stupid bastard, only doctors are getting that out of you

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>>719340304
Just poop it out?

A sausage is shaped like a turd, turds never get stuck. just fucking shit the thing out what is the problem?

When I was a teen i shoved 3 golf balls in my ass and fell alseep. next morning they all shat right out no problem. small marbles are trickier but big stuff should be easy.

>>719342767
>Be me
>Wake up from nappies
>MOMMMY I WANNA USE MY GOOD BOY POINTS FOR SOME TENDIES
>bitch doesn't answer
>Roll my 700lb self out of bed
>knock over a couple pee bottles
>oh well she will have to clean it up later
>walk downstairs, taking a break to catch my breath half way down
>MOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMY
>Still no answer
>Go to kitchen
>note on the fridge
>"Anon, I have gone out on a date. Hot Dogs are thawing in the sink"
>Nearly shit myself in rage that this bitch left me tendie-less to go out with Chad
>6 hotdogs unthawed in sink but only 5 buns on counter
>feel a slight warmth run down my leg and the room smells
>bitch cant even count right
>make hot dogs in the microwave and bring them all to my room for eating
>one leftover uncooked one left
>feel my anger building again
>might lose my GBP if mommy finds more skid marks in my undies
>decide to use remaining hot dog to plug my ass
>ass hole eats it as quickly as my mouth at the other ones
>panic and ask my internet friends for help on how to get it out

>>719343486
From what we know of op it's really likely that the water will take shape of a cock and become stuck in op ass.

>>719343403
Go to the ER faggot. the alternative is way worse than the temporary embarrassment.

>>7193403 If the sausage was pre cooked or is tied into a condom, you should be fine.

Honestly mate that ain't coming out properly anytime soon. If it was cooked it'd hve been slightly better but raw?! You've fucked up. Go to the doctors and be fucking honest

>>719343304
It's raw pork or raw poultry, there are a bunch of bacteria and other shit living in there that die off when you cook it. Most intestinal worms start as a microbe and grow exponentially.

>>719343726
> just fucking shit the thing out what is the problem?
Oh well this is what I thought some hours ago BEFORE HAVING THE FUCKING SAUSAGE STUCK

>>719343486
Can someone confirm? Does water helps?

>>719343840
kek

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>>719343726
>marbles

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>>719344234
well what happens when you push? you sat on the toilet, waited, pushed and nothing came out?

there's actually a curve deeper in your colon, and if foreign objects get up there you're dead.

if you wanna shove stuff up ur ass, buy a fucking dildo idiot

>>719344234
put another sausage up your ass to try to dislodge the first

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>>719340304

>>719340832
>cologne/colon

took me much longer than i care to admit to figure out what the fuck was going on there. lel

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>>719344110
Ok well thanks for clearing me up.

>>719340304
There is a hentai about this
and what they did was masturbate it out

>>719340304
"i accidentally a whole sausage"
is what you should say to the nurse

>>719340304

Better start digesting then...

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>>719340304
op I did the very same thing but with nail polish bottles

>>719343486
This might save u OP, give it a chance, enemas are a "common" thing and probably safe

>>719344475
sometimes you shit out little pellets the size of marbles and they come out fine.

I don't understand all these fags getting stuff stuck in their ass. what makes the poop come out, why isn't it working on these objects?

>>719344545
Well, yeah. No matter how much strenght I put in it, it doesn't come.

>>719344560
I don't have another sausage, already ate the others.

>>719344892
maybe you should do an experiment and put a raw sausage up your ass. post results

>>719344903
Then shove in a peeled banana

Shove butter into your ass next, maybe it will slide out.

>>719341695

To infinity, and BEYOND!

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>>719340304
try a laxative

>>719344770
>nail polish
Gee, fuck, u are a sick in the head anon, not judging though

>>719340304
Go to the emergency room. You will give everyone a good laugh, and when you come back after you an hero, they will remember the good times they had with you. Stupid faggot.

>>719344657
link

>>719344577

kekky dubs

>>719344991
Yes, because what op needs is more things stuck in his ass.

>>719344863
So what do I do? Fill it with water and try to shit it again? Is there anything precautions I should take?

>>719344863
DOIT OP

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>>719345161
I regret nothing

>>719340304
Get dog to eat sausage from behind tell him good boy then fuck dog

Pics or it didn't happen op

>>719345276
Never done one, seek on youtube how to do it

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>>719344903
literally just wait. eventually it WILL come out. I used to shoot mad dope, and get constipated for literally WEEKS. after so much builds up behind it tho, it will fucking come out. just carry on living your life and stop thinking about it. then post a pic in a few days when you finally shit.

Eat beans and drink coffee, the sausage will come out when you shit

>>719345276
Well what I did was just squat and shower water up my butt. Then the banana simply slided out. I guess you dont have anything to lose since it isnt coming out by itself.

>>719345435
>Pics or it didn't happen
Now OP has a camera in his ass

>>719344234
If you have anything like lube or vaseline, you could try putting some inside your ass. May seem wierd but if it ever lowers, it'll help get it out easier.

>>719345482
/thread

>also pics or we don't believe you faggot.

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>>719345431
Dogs are not that stupid

>>719345438
>>719345513
Fuck it, I'm going to be a waterbender now. Wish me luck lads, hopefully I come out alive.

>>719345602
>lube or vaseline
even shampoo or soap..

>>719345750
Post results

>>719345750
And the water will bend away from your nasty ass

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>>719345750
Godspeed OP!

They plump when you cook them.

>>719345750
>OP comes back
>Guys Katara got stuck in my ass what do I do

>>719345750
If you wait. and eat a shit load of food it will come out in a few days. the answer to getting something out of your ass is not to put more stuff in your ass, faggot.

>>719346114
fuck you cancerous fucking bot

>>719340304

Listen up, OP. You have two options:

1. ER, but you don't want to hear that so
2. Wait.

I mean that: just wait. You should be able to eventually shit it out on your own if you wait.

UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES ATTEMPT TO FISH IT OUT WITH TONGS OR ANY OTHER SORT OF TOOL. If you do, you will most likely fail and push the sausage up past the pubo-rectal sling. If that happens, you WILL have to go to the ER. That's how it happens to people.

Just sit tight.

>>719343486

DO NOT DO THIS. It could easily push it in further. JUST FUCKING KEEP WAITING and you'll be fine.

>>719346650
Or just go to the ER.

>>719346770

He already said he doesn't want to do that, and I don't blame him.

Good things come to/from those who wait, OP.

If you can't get it out, put soap in your asshole and then try.

>>719346951
Bad things can come to those that wait too. Like having to live with a sausage up the ass.

>>719346770
or just fucking wait like you should. /b/ is not a place for good advice. your're always gonna have 90% of people telling you the wrong shit for kicks. just fucking wait and act as if you didnt shove a sausage in your anus, and it will take care of itself.

>>719347199
its food. its gonna break down quickly. and soon he will be able to pass it.

>>719345153
>laxative
>with a sausage stuck in his asshole
dis gun be gud

>>719347199
>Im sorry anon, but if you haven't waited that long maybe we could have removed the sausage, im sorry son

>>719347353
right. no lax, just wait, and eat normally. go light on fiber, and you will shit out that sausage in no time.

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>>719347224
Waiting is really not a good idea because of the potential tapeworm and other bacteria from raw meat. You are giving bad advice, hypocrite!

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>>719340304
the best advice go to the E.R

>>719347351
It not healthy let sausage rot away in the ass.

>>719347393
And op's taking in the ass days were over

>>719347597
bullshit. its the only relevant advice in this thread. anyone advising anything other than waiting is fucking retarded, trying to get op fucked up by jamming more shit in ass, or trying to get op publicly shamed by going to the hospital where they are going to tell him to wait it out anyway, cuz ITS A FUCKING SAUSAGE, not a god damn xbox controller. its already shaped like a fucking turd, and its going to break down and give him the shits anyways. hospital is pointless

>>719348054
This. It not.

>>719347597

"Raw sausages" are pre cooked you retard, there won't be living tapeworm eggs

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>>719348054
no its not, but its not healthy to put it there to begin with either, and i guarantee you they will not operate to get a fucking sausage out of OPs ass. they are gonna tell him to wait and dont put anything else in his ass, if he goes to the hospital.

have you tried wiggeling it out?

>>719348600
kek. nice dubs

>>719348534
How do you know that you lump of retard? It may be really up there and needs to be operate on.

Microwave a cup of water for 30 seconds then add salt.

Drink up buddy, you will be shitting in no time.
What have you got to lose?

The sausage for one.

A vacuum cleaner with that little upholstery tube. That's the trick.

>>719348984
just imagine that
>What is that scar in your butt dad
>Well. when i was young i had a sausage stuck in my ass, so they had to operate it beacuse i couldn't shit it out

>microwave ass
>serve to gf

Don't lose this opportunity anon.

you can get tapeworm pill at Tractor Supply for like 4 buck. Fuck it.

>>719349351
Do you think OP Would be using a sausage if he had a gf?

>>719349351
Op needs to buy a bigger microwave and get a gf first.

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>mfw this is all an elaborate set up to a sausage in a bun joke

>>719349569
>>719349595

Who the fuck cares? Mom, neighbor, brother, cat.. all great.

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>>719349644
>mfw this is all an elaborate set up for you to look like a faggot

>>719349828
But he still needs a bigger microwave to fit is fat ass in.

>>719340304
Your body is currently eating it in reverse.

Just let it happen.

>>719350093
Fuck. You're right. Nvrmind. Bad plan.

>>719340304
put some ketchup in there

>>719349320
why in FSM's name would OPs kid be looking at a scar in his asshole? and why would that be the relevant question in this scenario

>>719343840
>>719343927
kek

>>719340304
put some musturd init anon

Ummm bullshit. What kind of sausage is even stiff enough to push up your ass? Or are you such a faggot that your ass hangs open?

>>719350410
Did you forget that you are on /b/?

OP is always a fag and baiting us all. kek

>>719346516
>sit tight

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Alpha Charlie here, waiting for OP's report on the extraction of our proud colon soldier

>>719350507
this anon knows the physics involved in jamming things in his ass.

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>>719350193
>reverse
this is you

>>719350581
no way.
The /b/ is the life Renfield.

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And the uh immediate research shows that the act is not only amusing, but in fact much healthier for out bodies than the old way of eating. You see, food entering through the anus has the benefit of being broken down on its way to the stomach rather than afterward. And therefore I believe that interorectogestion would actually put a stop to high cholesterol and most kinds of stomach cancers. And I base that on absolutely nothing.

>>719350507
if you "bear down" the human ass will swallow a great deal of mass.

So assuming its an Eckridge Farm smoked sausage, I can see it happening.

Eat lots ofninstant soup. You will get a severe diharreha within minutes

>>719351054
....Niiccccce

>>719340304
don't worry. you'll poop it out your mouth. i hear it's a lot healthier.

kek at retards thinking hot-dog sausages are raw

>>719342534
are you sure its not just cold?
most sausages you would buy at the store are fully cooked but just refrigerated.
so check if they were fully cooked or actually raw

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>>719350712
>>719351054
lol South Park

>>719351228
diarrhea is not what he needs. he just be spraying shit around the susage. lel

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>>719341807
>like shitting, but backwards

>>719351354
>lol South Park
wow what obscure references you've picked up on anon. so glad you're here with us to tell us this shit.

>>719351228
What if the sausage is in there so well that it blocks the diarrhea and nothing moves?

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>>719351575

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>>719340304
Buy some laxatives and pray for peace.

>>719351388
Or op shoots diarrhea out his mouth.

jesus christ someone screencap this

>my sides have ascended to another plane

>>719351740
your fucking asshole expands and contracts. the sausage probably wouldnt move but the diarrhea would just move around it. he needs to build a good solid shit behind it so he can move the fucking sausage.

>>719341721
God, I hear this in his voice...

>>719351388
>>719351740

Given the high sphinter pressure and the softness of the sausage's composition, the saisagr is probably already crushed into mashed sausage, hence, why he can't shit it.
Diharrea will provide for enough pressure to push the mashed sausage out

Ok I think I figured out a solution, do you have access to a very hungry gerbil?

>>719352072
Op most likely picked the large lumpy one and jammed it in sideways.

OP where the fuck are you?

Enema.
Stick a sink nozzle in ya asshole and blast away.

Eat a realy hot curry. In the morning it will come out with ease.

>>719340304
Stuff some eggs and toast in your ass. Stand on your head and pour a cup of coffee in your ass, too.
Stuff some nice cantaloupe in there. Pour in some o.j. Cram some toast and jam some jam.