Post the last message a female sent you. I'll start -

"lol xD"

>>719289149
three clapping emojis

>>719289149

>Hahaha awww

That is the official response of the friend zone, find someone new

"What's going through your head?"

Rawr xD

>>719289149
"Be home before 10"

Aha, iz hendauta
Serbian

>>719289149
Hitler did nothing wrong

>I know you killed Riley. Tell me why
She's my sister, but she doesn't even know that. I'm murdering her friends one by one to teach her a lesson so no wonder she's not exactly nice to me

Ok I did

>>719289570
A good woman obeys commands

>>719289149
Lunch was amazing!! Thank you so much!! <3 Have a great afternoon. Love you so much!!
>after buying lunch and banging my wife on lunch break.

>>719289745
Then the next one from my ex
"Wheres my money at I haven't got a child support payment in over a month"

>>719289149
:( no

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Pic related

"stop posting shit on my wall"

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"merry christmas"
it was a mass text to all her contacts.

>Hey, big brother, it sucks that you're grounded and can't go out with your girlfriend tonight. maybe i could be your girlfriend mum and dad will never know.

"Are you trying to kill me?"

>>719289149
"Eh if pops goes to bed early enough I will. He doesnt need to know"

>I come alone just like you told me to.

>>719289149
leave me the fuck alone

You have an appointment at 8.00 on Monday 16 January with Dr Marshall. Please bring a urine sample.

>>719289149
'About 6PM. Want anything from Asda, I'm popping in on my way'

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From this weekend.

Chick I'm friends with was in town so I went to her hotel and fucked her silly.

> I only let you choke me and do all that shit to me because I thought you loved me. Your a piece of shit and you have no regard for other people. You've fucking ruined me emotionally. I don't want to ever see you again.


She'll be back...

>hahahahahhahaha

that's all.

>>719290671
Bullshit has been called.

From not my mom:

"Happy Thanksgiving:)"

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>>719290671

You need to find one who likes that shit.. Like I did.

>>719289149
>please don't hurt her, I won't call the cops

>>719290853
I did.Although she was more about blood (used to let me cut shit into her) and being slapped about than choking.

>Oh.
>Yippieh?
>xD bin voll angespannt

copy paste from facebook

>>719289149
"ok so 7 pm then"

I didnt want to get wet

>>719289149
"I aaaaaalmost fall into temptation"

>bye
>night

>>719289149
"lol Yes you may : ) xxx-xxx-xxxx

it was off tinder.

I don't know that's what I think but kayra and Jordan said he was good

>>719289391
Kek

>>719289149
Why? XD

>>719289149
>Omg it's 3am why are you so horny

I will :*

>>719289149
Fuck this shit.

>>719289149
:( Unfortunately I work this Friday...All weekend really.

>Getting blown off hardcore

>>719293613
If a girl really wants to see you she will make time anytime to see you.. for sure you are blown the fuck off. I hope you are not dating her because she is probably being trained by 4 niggers.

>>719289149
i'm crying those were beautiful how did you not get the part? ;-;

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>>719289149
Ha ha your so funny

>pic not related

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1if7tajgJVk

new girls!

>>719293719
This guy is an idiot. Sometimes it looks like it is but it isn't, sometimes it is. I hope none of you impressionable anons take his dumb ass seriously.

>>719289149
>burp for me fat piggy
It made more sense in context

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>>719293745
uhm

>>719293837
I actually disagree with you here,

Sure if your maybe 25% of the time she is actually busy but in that case they will very actively explain it and set up another time.

When girls are just flaking on you and blowing you off its because they arent interested but are to pussy (literally) to tell you to fuck off.

>>719293986
It's honestly a better way of doing it. What would you rather realize: that a girl doesn't want you, or that she doesn't want you and also has no respect for your feelings?

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"are you drunk?"

said "no haha just amped". of course i was drunk WHAT DOES THIS STUPID CUNT THINK I AM A SHOWMAKER AND CHAMER FROM ALONE DUMB BITCH I COULDN'T EVEN WRITE ANYTHING

>>719294125
>string somebody a long because they dont want to feel bad
>making poor bastards think there is a chance when there isnt at all

>respect for my feelings

no, beta-boy that isnt respect, its indifference to you and selfishness.

Typical for most women really

>>719293986
Even 25% of the time, if they can't see you they will go out of their way to make it up to you, me being Alpha. I see girls blow off their boyfriend and husbands all the time, they make the time if they want to see you no matter how busy they are.

Igual
stupid uruguayan

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>>719294397
>me being Alpha


lol kys faggot.

>>719293986
I fucked around with a few girls who were foreign, I'm personally Dutch, and one of them couldn't actually speak English or Dutch. She was just south spanish and impossible to fucking understand. She was an imported worker who had a shit fucking job working in a factory all week for nothing and lived in a house with 11 other Spaniards. Because of this I couldn't meet her for a fucking while (2 weeks) and she and I had to set up multiple dates.

At first it looked like she was blowing me off but she was very actively invested in me during all her freetime and a met a bunch of her co-workers. I understand what you're saying (and that's the most extreme example of a language barrier I've had), but when you're dealing with people from multiple backgrounds I find that sometimes things just don't come through optimally because people can't communicate it the way they'd like to.

Then again I've never been fucked over by any girls and I've generally been treated well. It could just be who I am or where I live.

>>719289149

":D :D :D that hate though haha"

Guess I'm full of hate but funny.

>>719289149
"Sí, ¿tú?"

>>719294567
I am no matter how much your beta ass hates it, Alphas get the girls. There is nothing you can do about it.

I've been cohersed into trying on underwear, if it looks nice I'll buy it and you can tell me what you think of it later

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>>719294374
>implying you're actually so dense you can't take the hint

"Omg yessss i do need to start that"

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>>719294676

Im sure you are a very big boy. Im not doubting you've seen women who are into you do retarded shit to make time, because they do.

But I doubt you are an "alpha" because fat chicks hit you up on dating sites.

"My credit data has been sucked dry cos the wifi here keeps dropping out. Will try to get on whenever I can to touch base ️"

"Hi"
Lack of punctuation is the most "interesting" (if you can call it that) thing about the message.

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you don't have kkk

>god damn Brazilians using "kkkk" instead of lol

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>>719289557
Go on...

>>719289149
But enough about my new man. Wyd

>>719294810
Nah, I work at a college in the IT department. Good try though, my wife hates it, sometimes I have to work on their shit and need to go to their houses. I call them "special projects" really my wife doesn't know...

>>719294737

>implying autists in here dont have this happen all the time.

its just some advice from an oldfag, relax homo

>>719289149

"And everybody loves a good spanking"

I'm going to get a cat nap before this school thing. I love you. Hope you get some relief, some energy soon.

>>719295043
thanks but not needed because i actually am in fact a homo

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>>719295015
>I work at a college in the IT department

very sexy mr. Alpha, do you have 300 confirmed kills in Iraq too?

" just tried to let out a silent fart in the bathroom and it ended up being really loud"

I do love her though

>>719295154
No but I spent time in the army, hated every min of it.

>>719295165
She's a keeper anon, congrats

"Def drooled on yourself and spoke too loud but what else is new"

>>719295232
nothing says alpha like trying to prove yourself to anons online.

Thx duddee
Context: She doesn't feel confident in her looks. Also helping a buddy of mine get with her.

>>719295307
>implying you didn't click into this thread

Goodnight

"please dick me daddy i need you"

>>719295352
>implying I expected a loser like you to be larping like an annoying faggot.

"packing"

>>719289149
"Hooray being white"

Was in reference to being pulled over for speeding and not being ticketed

"fuck. im sorry."

>>719295015

>my wife

>works in IT

>alpha

This shit cannot be made up holy shit

"Age doesn't matter"
"Lol"

I'm 27, she's 18.
Model, likes older guys.

"ok anon i think you're really cute and i want some hot make out sessions with you :)"

"sorry for being so forward but i needed to tell you :))"

>>719289149
"we are going right now"

some context
>i told possesive girlfriend that she was one of two people that i regularly text all day. told her his name was harrison

>phew, well, i guess i dont need to tranquilize someone and make them "dissapear"

>>719290748
Damn man, thats sad.

"Hi good morning Anon"

>>719295307
>Implying I give a fuck what your think I know what I am and beta faggots like you aren't my concern. Deal with it.

> she: "it was nice but uh...your cum tastes really bad"
> me: "I know"

>>719289149
2 purple love heart emoji's

>>719295609
don't talk to me like that faggot i will beat your ass hard as hell

>>719289149
"Brb, I'm gonna pee"

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>>719295665
After I beat your ass.

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>>719289149
>Aww, I'm sorry to hear that. Where abouts are you moving to? You know... just in case I'm ever in the area.
I think I'm going to regret leaving town...

>>719295609

Lol you are a sperg autist. Dont worry though sex isnt as awesome as you imagine it is.

You arent missing much

>>719290671
No he's right. She'll be back for sure. He D.E.N.N.I.S.'ed her. Well done Anon

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>>719295644

"no"

>>719295798
Insolence isn't power.

>>719295798
Trolling... Doing it wrong...

"I fucking hate you, you're a deplorable piece of shit, asshole. I genuinely hope you get cancer and die you fucking asshole. I never wanted you anyway, and I also hope cara dies because of you. If you ever come to colorado I'm going to inject you with bleach while you sleep"

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"try to be nicer this time, please?"

>fuck

" I have lymes disease"

>>719295915
>>719295946

Its not trolling, its the truth, youll see

Laughing emoji

>>719296158

let me fix that for you

>It's not trolling it is the truth, you'll see!

"Oki :0"

>>719293719
>>719293837
She actually was a QT negress I met at the bar. And Im fairly certain she was blowing me off since I told her I was off most of this week and she didn't respond.

"I wanna fuck :* you are the best :]" (translation from czech language) from gf

>>719296232
>ha! I know, Ill fix his apostrophes

>Thx, my love!

I have to piss

>>719296331
sure

Kiss emoji

>>719291136
context?

>>719289149
> How did you get this #? I'll call the police if you contact me again creep

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>Damn:( :D still it's some progress :D

Too many emojis, and it always takes her an hour to answer, too bad, she's way hotter and smarter than my ex.
Fuck her for getting my hopes up by touching and hugging me every time she had the chance.

Save your breath though, anon, you can't tell me anything i don't know already about myself..

(my name) <3

>>719296361
If his grammar wasn't so bad, his trolling would be a bit better.
>Implying a troll doesn't need to type well to be effective.

>>719296412
yes

what

"fattar d"

"Yes, but it's pizza so not that hard "

>>719295644
Wow now you fucked up.

You literally implied you ate your own cum you cuck

>>719296826
it's an old /fit/ copypasta
yer welcome newfag

"Nacht:)"

>>719296826
Could've been from past experiences?

>>719296885
Sorry i missed a fad.

I mainly hang out on /b/ or /gif/

>>719296921
At least i would've said "I heard that before" though im not sure its always a smart move to mention other girls swallowing your load if you intend on banging again.

>>719296940
no one needs d-d-d-damage control, just acknowledge, it's an anonymous board, again, you're welcome.

"Idc, ill let you do what ever you want to me as long as you leave my bra on. I like the way I look in this bra."

>>719296921
Retarded answer anyways

>>719289149
Glad you're there safe.

>I'll see you in court

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No idea who that is

"I want a flying type but I don't want Staraptor"

I read that in Ron Swansons voice.

Usually yeah, and diamond buyers obviously do

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Never mind
Have fun with your new chicken

Nopw

>>719289149
"Lol"

>>719289149
"Stop texting me you fucking faggot, I'm not a girl"

>>719289149
leave me alone, I'm calling the police

"allahu akbar"

thank you! merry christmas!

>>719294943
WTF THAT GAVE ME A HEART ATTACK DON'T EVER DO THAT AIGEN ANON

Coke?

>>719289467
dobro vece comrade

>>719295405
>Implying you're not a neckbeard virgin basement dweller

"I love you, too"

This one is going to hurt really badly when it eventually ends.

Okay, in the car actually leaving.

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Last message was from my secretary...a picture thanking me for the rose I got her for her bday. Pic related. I love my job

"okay maybe tonight :)"

Non-sexually.

>>719289149
sounds like i had a lucky escape x

>>719300360
:(

>>719301533
Get her to timestamp.

On no bb :( I'm so sowey

"I'm getting a large back tattoo without your permission"

>>719289149
" yes i'm in :D " non sexual convo

"ringer vid 17"

>>719300764
From kebap removestan, blyat

"I love you too sweetheart goodnight . I'll come over tomorrow and we'll just relax in bed all day."

"o.o"

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>>719289149
Pic related

>>719301849
2meta2fast

>>719301849
Kek.
Your the op faggot from the other thread.

I hope she gets fucked by the tattoo artist.

>>719302095
Forgot to mention that I pulled condom off at last second. I'm all about creampies /b/ros

>>719289149
"We can still be friends, can't we?"
>Feels bad man.

>>719302095
>"I want to talk to you when I get home."

What did you do anon?

>>719302095
You are in so much trouble with the girl you trade weed for sex with

>>719289149
"Maar hier kan ik wel wat mee."

My crush asked me about some music so gave her a few names.

>>719302230
Is obviously a joke you fucking retard

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>>719302095
Also pic related.

>>719302318
No It wasn't, she's gonna get tramped by a nigger.

>>719289149
"haha ok then :)"

>>719302346
>"63% of my penis"

WHAT

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>>719301127

Did you cheat on her already?

>>719300651
wtf are you talking about niger?

""Yeah I'm p excited""

"Okie dokie"

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>>719301778
She's too busy running my office to be taking requests. I'm gonna be by her tonight so can do requests then. To hold you over...her face of ecstasy after I dumped deep inside of her.

>>719289149

"can't find my purse lol :D"

>true story

"Yeaaah (in love face) Haha so you went bragging to your colleagues? (Smiley face)"
Yeah poorly translated

>>719302413
You don't give them the whole thing first time, you gotta ease in.

"Well im at home right now because I got the tooth put in"

>>719302095
>>719302246

>"Anon, I'm not on the pill, you dumbass!"

"work hard on ur program :)"

>>719302638
Awful

>>719302674
Fair enough, why not 64% though?

>>719302638
That might possibly be the ugliest vagina i've ever seen.
Exceeded in ugliness only by the face.

>I want you to shove your whittu piggu cocku down my slutty Asian throat.

She's really into race play and being the submissive Asian who gets overpowered by the dominant white man.

>>719302638
Changed my mind keep em.

>>719302909
Tru

>"It's gonna be chaos for a while, but after that I think it will be smoother."

A colleague

Sometimes you are a proper dick you know. Will you let me know you are fucking alive so I don't have to report you missing

"What happened to you? I thought we had fun."

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>>719289149
>last message a female sent you
>implying

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>>719303030

>>719302751
Oh well. I'll let her ride out the pregnancy for a couple months so I can nut all I want inside her for a while.

>>719302638
ur proud of that????

>>719289149
Yea I have twice

"Omg I literally hate u"

>>719303113

My best friends gf who was cheating on him with me

"XD" and before that a joke which doesn`t work in english.

>>719302281
Sukkel, volgende keer gewoon uitnodigen om ff naar muziek te komen luisteren ipv direct info te geven alsof ze een vriend is.

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>when youre that lazy you crop it instead of typing it but then realize you could fucking copy and paste it but then type all this wasting more time like a retard

>>719290748
You haven't talked to a female since thanksgiving? Damn bro

>>719304111
trips

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>>719289149
"tsk! bad boy"

"you left your dress shirt at my place"

>>719289149
A picture of her giving a thumbs up;
Accompanied by the text: "Dus, vrijdag lekker kegelen?! ZIN IN!"
*So, bowling will be great on friday?! I'M EXCITED!

Hope me and my little sister were enough for your huge cock last night! We should have threesomes more often.

>>719289149

Did you send her a picture of your dick

>>719304885
Sorry to hear no females ever messaged you in your life anon.

>>719305266

Its real

"i'll be there in 10 minutes :D"

>>719305315
>Its real

Screenshot or GTFO.

>Yeah, it's important we talk openly about problems

What did she mean by this?

>>719304804
Ik hoop dat je na afloop je drie vingers ergens anders in steekt

>I had a good time I'll keep an eye out for your baggies

Had a pretty nice party but lost my drugs in the morning probably lost it in her yard and then it must've been covered by snow I only had about €15 worth left though no biggie

>>719305671
Waarschijnlijk een lelijk wijf waarvan je kegel omvalt

"Because you are a disrespectful scumbag" BTW i asked for a cup of tea and a titwank.

>>719301533
Lucky dude any ass pic

can you feed the dogs when you get home

sapnu puas

Turn your phone upside down

>>719305560
It means she wants to control the relationship by knowing your every thought. Don't fall for it, be vague instead. You don't communicate with word with a woman like you would with a man. You never listen to a woman's words, you judge her by her actions.

If talking about it was oh so important relationship therapy would actually work lol. Instead it's all about putting the blame on the man, and shaming him into distrusting his gut feeling. That's when the real gates of shit are opened.

>>719305671
>>719305777

Lief spelen kinders

Oh awesome thank you so much!!

>>719306129

>send nudes™ "epic meme"
>assuming everyone is on phones.

Please run into traffic at your nearest convenience.

>>719289149

"Tell me whatcha like" quote4quote.

"yea wtf"

>>719306256

>not being able to mentally figure it out
>pleb rating 11/10

>>719306256
>Americans
>fat
>bunch of faggots
>complaints about everything

>>719305671
da's wel het plan ja

"vans don't even look right if they are clean tbh"

"Dinner?"

>"OP is a faggot"

"No I will not give you nudes you annoying fucking asdhole you ask me again I'm reporting you to the police"

>>719289149
I see, okay thanks

"Miss you"

>>719289149
>Hahahaha that looks so funny

:'(

>>719289149

>Ha ha.... thanks.... you're so kind

>>719289149
"hahaha your benis is so small awww"

Next thread should be screenshots of last convo with the opposite sex or significant other

i hope you die

Yea. I'm an evil demented person. I think fucked up shit and it comes true. Which is probably why so many people around me die.

"I need some distance, anon"

>>719307595
THIS someone make a new thread

>>719289149
"Come kidnap me"

>>719289149

>hahaha awww

i bet you sent her a picture of your cock

>>719289149
"great minds think alike I suppose"

"Don't forget it's your moms birthday"

Well then

"Because you're WONDERFUL. Deal with it. "

>I'll miss u xoxo
Too bad it was ironic

October 13th
>date for her wedding, friend of mine

Before that:
Not drowning. Here to learn, like to think I have a perspective of the bigger picture
>girl I had coffee with yesterday that left crying, not my fault

>>719308087
god, got this one so many times

"okay :("

A video of some kid intentionally breaking his arm

>>719290613
>YLYL
hahahahahaha

fucking LOST it

>/thread

>>719289149
"I'm a mind reader xx"

>>719289149
translated:
>"yeah, that seems to be the case..."

>>719308087
I always reply with "then so do bad ones"

>>719289149
were you the one who gave me herpes? Either way you should get yourself checked..

It's going. Just finished lab, how's work?

>>719289149
"I've liked you for such a long time, I just wish you would break up with your gf..."

>I agree
Bitch didn't give me much to work with

Bye

Ttyl :*

>>719289149
Same old anon

"Och så du gjorde slut är värre
än att vara otrogen."

>>719289149
How is your day?

>>719289149
"Jeudi soir"