The last message you sent to a female is what's going on

>>Yeah alright haha

He must be a sick cunt

I'm sure it will be fine.

>Bring me a beer cunt

"I think I'll just need a gallon of coffee and I'll be good"

Do we need salad dressing?

Do you like to get fucked by him?

>I'm here!

>see you tomorrow
It works for me

Cool

"I don't really feel like it."

"Whatever I'm going g to have fun without you"

I just brok up with my gf I'm so sad

>>I'll remember that

>>719285599
No kids in wheel chairs tho they can't roll away fast enough

"goodnight"

I said, "definitely cute, angelic even." kinda makes me a douche

>>719285599
"just make a decision for Christ's sake"

I'm okay with this

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>>719285599
> please respond

Meet me in your dreams

>>719285896
Well you sound like a bitch
Drown that shit in hard liquor like the rest of us

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>>719285599
you make me so fucking hard

*Lion Emoji*

>You look very cute, but i'm gay and i have a boyfriend

>>719285599

>sexay

wow...

don't forget pizza rolls and energy drink :)

>>719285599
>Should I get the lasagna in the oven?

Literally
>Roaaaaarrrr

>Pick up your shit and get out of my house.

"Don't over do it."

>we'll talk about it thursday if you want to.

More or less

>>719285599
>Love you, Goodnight beautiful

>>719285599
See you very very soon

>>719285983
Man if she called and said "I'm pregnant", it would be the best thing to happen to me.

Drowning it in liquor might help though.

Thanks it sucks. Love you too.

>>719285599
> Good night, sleep well :)

Show me one with sharpie in pooper

It's okay, I was just worried

>>719285599
>you better flush it because im not paying child support. Dont make me gut punch you babe

Should probably start looking for a new secretary

Ich kann am besten so ab 7, oder willst du früher essen?

>>719285599
"that sucks, hon"
An apt memorial.

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Literally a high school picture of jake gyllenhaal
>pic obviously related

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>>719285975

>>719286406
i feel you brother i also broke up with my ex about 2 months ago it was, and still partly is, a very hard time. but i feel that ive already gained some distance to the situation and dont see her as the perfect girl i used to see her.
man u just need some time and youll be able to come out stronger.
grab a friend and get some vodka or some shit. if i would be from usa we could grab some alcohol and convince eachother how shit our exes where

>Falling back asleep
I'm alright i guess xx

Babe

Cover yourself in kitties

brb

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" "

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>Lol wow I just found out who does Lara Croft's voice in the game, you won't believe who it is

She didn't respond, my gravestone is now clickbait

"Me? What would I have to hide?"

Need to throw up brb

"Aha."

It was truly a pleasure. Perhaps we will meet again next year.

Hey :3 *snickers nefariously*

I found a good poem

"Noice"

The shit is lethal lol it's not the first time it's happened, it just mists the air and you get hit lol

>>719285599
(hearteyes) xxx

if skype counts lmao

if not then

Leave it for now

"I'M NOT ACTUALLY THAT WEIRD"

>>719285599
Okies

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>>719286872
Keeley Hawes right?

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>>719287678
No, the newest reboot is Camilla Luddington, who's hot btw

>You won't know till you get there, I enjoy Robins, despite all the dumb exercises my Squadron has the base itself is pretty nice
At least they'll know where I died

>>719285599
"finally im home"

Yes, I'll see you Thursday night.

Every scar built my throne.

I miss you

well fuck, it's a dick pic

>>719285599
>OK OK OK OK
>fuck I'll do it
>OK OK OK OK
>stop fucking nagging
>OK OK OK OK

>>719288278
gaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

"Let's go one of these days, to swim with dolphins."

"hm"

You seen me naked get over it.

>merry Christmas

FeelsBadMan

Here lies our beloved BaguetteFag

"le 27 c'est la semaine prochaine ^^"

RIP
(literally)

My plane arrives at 7pm on the 21st. Assuming I survive being at Marcos

A big saw takes care of that

"Just for shits n gigs"

You might want to go get checked out at the clinic

"I don't care one way or the other. We just have to make sure that we freeze what we have in time."

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>>719285599
Oh no,.. I sent my gf this meme

>Still working on it

>>719285599
>AYY BB U WANT SUM FUK
I wish I was joking

>>719285599
I'm gonna miss you.

I'm fine with it.

I'm beating off to your blood.

"Yeah"

I wanna be more than just a friend

>>719285599
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mA__6BcxyAg

>>719291347
Fuck her or go for another. Waste no time, idiot.

Babe i ate 4 chilli dogs last night why didnt you stop me

"Eat grapes then"

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>>719285599
>can I kill myself?

Yes,I'll take the boy to the doctor Friday.
God,stop being such a cunt

>So wear skirts for me ;)

... K

>>719285599
''yes i'm okay''

>>719291458
I can relate to this on a deep and personal level

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"Jesus christ, just kill me you miserable bitch"

>>719291712
Yeah? Are you also obese?

>>719292018
Might be fat. but I'm not a fag, nigger!

>FAGGOT

>>719285599
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qGBn7sllYRc

Im just buying a album for the car
Im just in poundstretcher now
Im just going to mcdonalds...
You take the piss stop spending all our money on shit.


>not the greatest thing you could quote me on

>>719285599
in the car

>>719285599
well...i send this to my gf "what happened?"

>>719285599
Goodnight

thats a win in my book

>>719285599
>you sucked a dick yet?
Pizza...

>[spoiler]everyday, I just fall deeper and deeper in love with you[/spoiler]

When we speak again, let me tell you about my itchy nose, if I haven't already...

>work keep me out of my pc XD

>>719285599
"Go away"

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>>719291080

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>>719285599
O Valdostan Goatling...

>>719285599
Op is a girl named Olevia

>>719285599
>me gusta, aqui hay empanadas, les hice una salsa de tomate picante como hacen los salteños

>>719285599
My CC pin number will be there.

Sent it to wife so that I have it in outgoing messages when I need to read it (I keep forgetting the damn thing).

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>Okie
Guess I'm okay with it

You know...i think that...depression can be caused by nothing, but i think if a specific thing happens...that's what can like...push you over the edge...ya know?

Send Nudes

>What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.
Birch needed to learn her place.