I'm so fucking bored with life /b/. Nothing excites me nothing

Buy me something

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self bump

>>719123694
what do you want fgt?

>>719123777
Anything

>>719123777
>>719123841
No but seriously, buy me games or something.

>>719123777
Checked.

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>>719124005
thank you , as far as buying you fgts anything meh

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that is all you worthless fucks could come up with?

buy me games or something

fuck you /b/

cunts, worthless cunts the lot of ya

>>719124153
Buy me a Nintendo switch

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>>719124524
maybe i should buy one for myself ? havent played vidya in decades

>>719124688
Do it, Nintendo could use our money :)

>>719124779
meh vidya still doesnt move the neddle for me , Im like Stan in the episode of south park where he sees the whole world as one huge pile of shit , I care about nothing, nothing makes me happy, nothing excites me, the whole is all shit

>>719125026
Start fighting people and wear go pros

I have one friend and honestly I dont even like him that much nor do I have a desire to get any new friends, all I care about are my dogs, I take them to the park three times a day and that is m entire life

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>>719125138
can we hear from someone who is not a complete retard?

The "love of my life" left me, took my kids, the car, bank account, and even the God Damn lawn equipment that the cunt bought for me. I know live in the corner of my friends basement. You have money and freedom. Enjoy it.

>>719125625
ya but what should I do, I hate everything , everything bores me , it is all shit

>>719123509
>I can goto SE Asia and sex tour?
Seriously? No wonder you're bored. No imagination.

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>>719123509
1.Fill out UCC forms.
2.Collect your million dollar bond.
3. ???
4. Profit

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>>719125954
please all knowing Anon, enlighten me, fgt.

>>719125959
wut UCC? and I know it was an obvious shitpost just curious

what woud you fucking losers do if you were me? Lets say you got a bunch of money, what next anon?

>>719125830
See the world. You can kennel/have a trusted person care for the dogs. What have you always wanted to do/see? Do that shit, bud. My next big experience will be claiming bankruptcy. Smile. You aren't me.

since it sounds like you dont have to do much work or dont have an annoying cunt to yell at you ab it might i suggest some drugs? nothin too dangerous to fuck ya over but you know boozin, weed, magic mushrooms, maybe even a little LSD (if you know its lsd). explore your mind, find out what makes ya tick. best of luck. cheers mate

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>>719126607
they suffer from separation anxiety bigtime and they are the only thing I care about, last time I went to Vegas for a long weekend they totally shut down, I was also depressed being away from them, I've thought about it a lot and I really don't want to leave their side, the older one does not have much time left and me leaving stressing him out and I don't want that , but thank you for the kind words anon

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>>719126834
I just moved to a new town and I have no connections, I love drugs, any and all, wish I could get them , in a rec 420 state but honestly weed after smoking it for 20 years doesnt really move the neddle for me...i love cocaine but fuck if i know where to find it

why dont you find a girl to fuck at least? wouldn't be hard considering you have money.

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>>719127290
ya I'm like awkward around girls always have been , im a btard, if that explains it , just cause I got money its not like they are lining up to fuck a 42 year old, even if I did find a girl I am still fucking bored with life and think it is all shit

>>719126959
Hop in your ride and bring those fuckers with you. You say they are the only things that you care about? Then show them niggers some love and take them for a trip/walk where they have never been! Road trip where the pups would love.

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>>719127712
precite the suggestion fam but they are old, the furtherst they want to ride is to the park and back, i know them, these old bastards are content with the park

>the one on the right is passed on his son on the left is 12 now

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gonna post a few pics of my dog then let this worthless thread 404

this is Miss Brandy she passed on about 2 years ago I love her and miss her , mother of the smaller dog on left here >>719128066

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>>719128580
here is a picture of the guy I fucked up and went to jail for, long story, I wrote a book about it , just looking for dog pics came across this

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>>719128744
he sucker punched me , again a long story, got himself rekt, I almost ripped his eyes out of his skull

>>719127571
talk to girls online, meeting people online is so much easier because the fear of rejection (at least for me) completely goes away and i can be a lot more confident and forward. also, you'd be surprised how many girls like older men. once again, your money would be a motivating factor for them even if they didnt like older men, they'd at least consider it bc $$$$

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this is tattooed on my back, ran out of fucks to give a long time ago /b/, its a long story but I went through a phase got 8 tattoos in 6 days and about 30 total now , had none before those initial 8

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>>719129026
OK preciate this fam but where online,Im tecnologically retarded, serious Im no good online or otherwise and again I dont even know where to start, I got tinder but that is useless, i tried a arraignment finder site worthless just wanted money

>more tattoos, no fucks remotely given gentleman

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>mother and son

goddam I am bored fuck me

>>719129353
i'm a girl btw so seriously listen to me lol fuck tinder and okc and those shitty apps. just go on tumblr/twitter and find people with mutual interests in your area and start talking to them

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>>719129504
hes growling at his son this little shit now 8 years old

>>719123509
You're 42? LMFAOOOOO

>>719129530
but he has no interests, thats what he just said.

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>>719129530
you young fucks grew up online I have 20 followers on twitter all I use it for is to troll professional athletes when they fuck up and tumblr went there once really confused by it

>>719129654
something very traumatic happened when I was 15,I never grew up from that point, I never got over it 42 but really just 15 in my head

op since your loaded can you buy me a ps4? if everything bores you atleast try and find happiness in making other people happy

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>>719129883
still bumping with tattoo and dog pics BORED AS FUCK help /b/ I got money WUT DO?

>>719129883
idk i really dont think its that hard if you try, maybe its just not of importance to you. but i mean seems like you have the rest of your life figured out, all that seems missing is a love interest and perhaps some kids one day if you're into them /shrug

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>>719130023
post nudes, with face, dont care if boy and will send $ do it fgt

>>719130037
buy homegym and start lifting a lot
join ypg forces
take evening classes at community college
learn a new language

some suggestions

>>719130160
i mean i would but then that means i would have to turn the light on and take a picture and that takes effort

>>719130037
but yeah i guess if women/sex doesn't interest you and you have money, why not travel? learn a new language? if i had loads of money i know i'd be off exploring new cities as much as i could afford.

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>>719130158
you are right, I just smoke hash oil all day and go into my shell

>>719130277
dude you missed out, pussy , dont be lazy , got you fam

>>719130221
ya you are also right, I amm lazy , smoke too much weed , but still the world is shit

>>719129353
just asking (dont murder me)

what 40ish year old uses the word fam?

>>719130608
you can never smoke too much weed fam

dont ever let me here you say that again

there are niggers like me (im white) who gotta wait another 2 days before i can get my smoke on..

just promise me breh

never say that again

buy me a dildo for my pussyhole

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>>719130643
the same 42 year old that has Hu$tlin tatood across his chest and this n my arm

>>719130781
i love you

>>719130608
posting myself nude with face on /b/ on the off chance you would actually buy me a ps? denno dennis

>>719130608
well just spend money on drugs and alcohol and going out and getting fucked up then if thats what you like to do. damn are rich people really this retarded? have money and NOT know what to do with it? guess thats why celebs are always doing some dumb shit

>>719130832
are you paul wall

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>>719130857
lol cant hate me for trying to publically (spelling dont care) troll you

pay people in the streets to do stupid shit, always wanted to do that

>>719123509
you are a poor example of man. good thing you don't have kids. don't have them. no point now. you've done your part now leave the rest of mankind alone.

>>719131083
somebodies peanut butter and jelly

Take some college courses and grow your mind.

>>719130984
who dat?

>>719130917
where canI get these drugs fgt? just moved to a new town, dont want to order shit online and get pinched

>>719131083
lol broke ass bitch jelly as fuck LMAO BROKE ASS BICHNEYA

>>719131220
damn you really are helpless. i give up

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>>719131220
forgot pic

this one was painful on my side stomach hurt so bad for 3.5 hours wanted to die

>>719131371
i have an idea what you can do with all that money.
get them ugly ass shits removed u fucking nigger

>>719123509
JESUS FUCK is this guy serious? do you have any idea of what you're talking about? (oh meh i know meh) fuck you. ungrateful fuckers have no idea what kind of shit is in from of them. WAKE UP MAN. NONE ELSE WILL TELL YOU THE TRUTH. ONLY YOU. if you don't get what i mean then have a good trip, son.

pay some ramdom girl to masturbate your dogs, that should be fun to watch, you could even tell her its for breeding purposes

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>>719131308
me too fuck the world at least I aint broke

>>719131150
ayn rand. fountainhead.

>>719131536
OP is obviously a fag since he doesnt know how to approach girls online. op is either a really sad sad man or the greatest troll ever

>>719123509
Play vidya games all day everyday.

>>719131692
wat

>>719123509
Try renting an RV and Travel to local mountain or RV locations and have fun maybe bring a Co-worker along

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>>719131475
jelly jelly jelly lol i put on a t shirt and they are gone noone knows the real me but u a jelly salty bitch

>>719131517
I agree anon I amm fucking useless I hate myself I am worthless , and bored and I hate everyone and everything except my nigah here >>719130781

>>719131699
then pay a guy, so simple, dont see why hes not doing it already, just imagine their faces when you tell there's no gloves but its ok he can add some extra cause its a emergency

>>719125192
Sounds like your dogs have it good at least. Good job on that, you can be proud of being a decent pet owner. Maybe Learn a language for your trip? If you cant enjoy stuff where you are, might be a good idea to prepare for later

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>>719131847
I have no friends nor do I really want any, but I do appreciate the idea Anon

>>719131952
i love you too man <3

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>>719123509

Step 1. Get a fucking motorcycle...you need something in your life that doesn't scream cuck, or pussy to available younger women who just might be into older men.
Step 2. Ride said motorcycle until some teenage girl sending text nails you on the highway.


Or if you don't have enough testosterone for that. Get a Ford Focus and find a hair salon to work at.

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>>719132112
ya I love them they love me , I really should start to learn thai or whatever ching chong language they speak for my trip thank you anon

out of dog and tattoo pics

>>719132243
FAGGOT!

>>719132418
you want me and you know it <3

>>719132243
so cute, now they're internet friends and can masturbate to this thought

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>>719132408
that is a great idea it is cold now but when it warms getting a motorcycle thank you Anon

>>719132408
op' s a fucking fag i dont think he's interested in females or sex with anyone really

>>719123509
https://steamcommunity.com/profiles/76561198082204642/
send a random game

>>719132558
Started riding in my mid 30's after leaving the service and getting bored not getting shot at. Been a biker ever since. Love the excitement, and the young pussy is always a plus.

>>719132546
i would but i finished jacking off about 20 minutes ago, gonna have to save these memories for another time

>>719132418
really?? like really???? i give up, he can go suck the prolapse of his dying dogs for fun for all i care

>>719131952
i have an idea, you can off yourself and leave me as the lone inheritor in your will :0) maybe take out a life insurance policy prior

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>>719132534
i do deep and hard with no shame nor mercy >>719132546
it is cute aint it

>>719132671
i dont steam fgt

>>719132647
something very traumatic happened to me at 15, i never got over it, it haunts me to this day

>>719132771
why you salty fgt? I liked your idea called my soulmate a fgt for saying he loved me not you fgt

But dude. Mount And Blade: Bannerlord is coming eventually. Just hold out.

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>>719132558
Winter is the best time to get, and learn to ride man. First, all the fair weather faggots have their bikes they got last year on craigslist right now. They rode once and their vagina couldn't handle it. So lots of cheap bikes. You will need gear and leather anyways. So go ahead, don't wait for fair weather faggot.

>>719132937

>something very traumatic happened to me at 15, i never got over it, it haunts me to this day

greentext or gtfo

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>>719132980
i already know how to ride did it years ago had a sweet bike, and ya you are right, winter is a good time to score a good bike, im on it


>>719133040
it would docs me

Gib me csgo knife fgt
http://steamcommunity.com/id/HetsiTheWeeb

>>719132418
Another idea is to get a puppy and train it really well, with travel in mind. That takes a fair amount of time and effort and you'll still have some companionship for your travels

>>719132937
oo0o0o0o i missed that part. i feel kinda bad now lol :( sorry op <3 its ok theres other things to do besides sex, im just a fucking nympho lol. learn karate or some shit. theres so many sports/hobbies out there. make your own in home entertainment center if you dont have one already. or if you like to cook, make your kitchen really *snazzy* or maybe get a personal chef. learn to ski since its winter. the list is endless. you just gotta find what you like.

>>719132418
really?? like really???? i give up, he can go suck the prolapse of his dying dogs for fun for all i care

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>>719123509
Same, except 41, and when I reached that point at 33 I shuttered my companies, gave away my possessions, traveled on my savings, and am now back in school working toward a new career in the launch services biz. The space program is the only thing this species still does that has that much potential to be a meaningful step forward.

Plan b is suicide. Not because I'm some depressive mopey teenager, it's just that I've already done everything I ever wanted to do in this life, so if the choice is just, more of the same, only to die in 40 more years of the body and mind falling apart, or go out on top, I'd just as soon save us all the trouble and parking tickets and not drag it out.

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>>719133210
i dont steam fgt not going there just to buy anon games for fucks sakes

>>719133289
another quality idea, think i want a black shiba

>>719133296
ya prolapse of my dying dog was rude go get aids you fucking whore i know you have at last herpes and HPV>>719133446
nymho god I hope you test HIV positive one day

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>>719133296
keep whoring one day you will test HIV positive, :) you will I guarantee it

>>719133196
Get a Harley. Rice rockets are great if you are 19. But they won't get you pussy. I've been riding a bit, I'm about your age. I pick up ladies all the time in their 20's wanting to go riding.

>>719133638
that was a different anon, i only called you a fag lmao

>>719133711
just cause you like to have a lot of sex doesnt mean you're hoeing around, im committed to one single person, we just fuck a lot lol

>>719133764
this. crotch rockets are for fegz n cuckz

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>>719133875
wish IDs were back honestly

>>719133968
you are going to test HIV positive I have seen it, you should be worried, I just know it Femanon sorry but it is your fate, no worries Magic Johnson managed to keep his suppressed hope you have money since it is only a matter of time that you will test HIV positive

Turn mormon

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I am a miserable self loathing manchild i am a b tard that is the best way to describe it , the only bit of joy I get is from trolling people other than the love I have for my dogs

>>719134075
Even funnier when that texting teen hits em on the highways. Nothing like looking like a Power Ranger when you die a faggot.

>>719134150
how am i going to test positive for anything if im married and not cheating and dont have anything rn? the only way id catch anything is if my man decides to go cheat and catch something and give it to me. dont understand your logic

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going outside to smoke a long newport menthol like the nog that I am if it 404 was nice talking to you all the one whore who said I should suck on my dying dogs prolapse YOU WILL GET THE HIV HAAHAHA LOL ENJOY IT >>719134381
HE IS CHEATING ON YOU YOU DUMB BITCH

i love you /b/

>>719134339
maybe fuck your dogs if you're bored and wanna try something new lol

>>719134578
nigger

Go on a vacation somewhere? I'm in the same situation, I'm bored with everything.

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>>719134854
i cant dogs are too old to travel and I dont want to leave them


was hoping you faggots could point me in the right direction like start a business with my money not rich but got enough paper to do something

>>719135228
you said you have like 3 businesses already you fucking shithead

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i did write a book , anyone know of a good literary agent or point me in the right direction on that ?

>>719135228
>no job I built 2 companies in my thirties and now they work for me

>>719135364
you're asking a brunch of broke nigger /btards for a literary agent? try asking something they'd know more about like best doritos or mountain dew flavor , you might actually get some answers

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>>719135336
ya they are on the east coast doing great I see like $200,000/year from them and selling them soon for close to a cool million , this time next year I am paid in full...

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>>719135542
fair enough

>>719135408
american dream homie , failed out of college cause I wanted to sell weed got pinched 12 years later at 32, then built the companies, now 42 and so fucking bored, i need action, im on west coast now, vegas was cool but not quite rwady to move there full time yet

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I'm so fucking bored with life /b/.
Nothing excites me nothing makes me happy I care about nothing. Old(er)fag here, 42, no kids, never been married, have 2 older dogs so I can't pick up and move easily, got like $50,000 saved up, no job I built 2 companies in my thirties and now they work for me, WTF should I do with my life now? I guess I am waiting for my dogs to die so I can goto SE Asia and sex tour? Anyone got any better ideas and/or what I should do until they die?

>>719136105
y u repeating urself cuck?
get into fashion. fancy and expensive. start some haut couture shit for dogs idfk

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>>719136225
wasnt me soe other jit hoe cuttin and pastin with his broke ass i dont save fgt anime pics like you jew fucks

>>719136397
that bitch is fucking hideous. austin powers looking motherfucker

>>719123744
Checked em'! What are your businesses? Are you into making more money or just having fun?

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>>719130221
wut ypg forces?

>>719123509
I have a great idea.
If you aren't married and don't care to get married you can spend money on cool equipment and become some sort of super-hero vigilante (think batman but without the bat part) .
Personally I would buy a bunch of guns and explosives and covertly start targeting organized crime and niggers.

why not give back? start a charity, build a hospital, or pipes for clean water n shit in countries that need it?

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>>719136703
i live in like the whitest part of the country very little crime also too lazy to do that shit , really i should donate my time at a shelter or something but i am a selfish b tard cunt

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>>719136952
cause I am a lazy selfish worthless b tard cunt thats why also this was my first tat i just dgaf about anything and that is why my life is so empty catch is i am content enough and the most i will ever do is start a thread on b about it, i suck big cock i know but in my shell and looking for something to move the needle i really should go do something noble but i wont

>>719137150
get addicted to heroin

>>719136971
Well I always wanted a bit of adventure and I'm big on punishing bad people and such.
I suppose I am much younger than you so I can't expect you to have the same energy as me.
You could travel and try to learn new things, guitar, violin who knows what, take up martial arts.
I mean since you have money and more importantly income you can spend your time on bettering yourself as you see fit. The only advice I can give you for certain is that if you take up a hobby that involves staying indoors you will only get more and more bored with your lifestyle. Have you considered dance?

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>>719131699
where can i go online to approach these girls?

>>719137482
go to fucking libtard/sjw tumblr. full of freaky hairy feminists. thank me later.

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>>719137258
i really really really want to try heron but have no clue where to find it , are those dark web sites safe ? too scared to even try if they are

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>>719137563
tumblr hmm i need to get into it , went there once got confused and bored never returned , i like hairy box

>>719137630
is hairy snatch your thing? lol
anyways, just go out at night and make friends or fuck it just ask any shady characters where you can score some shit. thats what ive done and its never let me down.

Who hurt you op? Someone fucked you up. Let's hear it.

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>>719137752
been fapping since the 80s dat hairy box always >>719137766
yup also checkd

>>719137777
Quads demands it.

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>>719137777
jesus christ checked, its all in my book i can post some of it , i would appreciate it someone heard my story... havent looked at it in about a year but can dig it up

>>719137853
lol you're replying to everything thinking you're talking to like 10 different people
mfw its been me this whole time harharhar
i look like the bigger idiot but lol its certainly entertaining

>>719137965
POST IT DO IT

>>719137777
>>719137918
quda do demand it gonna post first chapter, someone did hurt me bad , digging it up now

>>719138050
thought u got raped dood

>>719123509

You could help a fellow old(er) fag get back to his feet financially, seeing that you're doing OK in that aspect. Sure, it may not be quite fun for ya, but there's no harm in asking :P

>>719138105
i did

not physically but was a rape for fucking sure


Delivery Wars: A Memoir

Hustlin': The story of the greatest food delivery boy that is was or ever will be.

by Paperboy Jupac Hebow

Dedicated to Manface, Fuckboy, Mike T & The Roach. Keep fighting the good fight!

I would also like to dedicate this book to victims of Fetal Alcohol Syndrome, the leading known cause of intellectual disability in the Western world.

This book is also dedicated to anyone who actually makes it through to the end of this train wreck. May God have mercy on your soul or lack thereof.


Lastly, I would also like to take this time to apologize to Debbie, you are a very giving woman.


CHAPTER ONE: OYE fuckin VEY
The details of my life are quite inconsequential.

Very well where do I begin?

My father was a relentlessly self improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery, while my mother, was a fifteen year old French prostitute name Chloe with webbed feet. Ya know, that old chestnut.

Somehow now tho, I sit in the office of the best criminal defense lawyer in town, surrounded by a lion's share of Gator, military, and baseball memorabilia along with thousands of books that are worth significantly more than me. Not once but twice did I have to call on this man's services to save my ass, and after the second one was behind us he offered me a job working in his office. Why wouldn't he want Hebow (the Jewish Tim Tebow) the greatest delivery boy that has ever lived or ever will live on his team? No one is sharper, very little gets past me, very rarely do I make the same mistake twice, and also no one will be more loyal.

>>719138191
Wut

>>719138191
Conversely, why wouldn't I want to be on his team? After seven consecutive years building food delivery services, with two of those years working 17hrsday/7days/week, I deserve the Noble fucking Peace Prize for all the shit I went through. Now at this point I have no one to answer to and Archer provides me with just that. Structure, guidance, a reason to get up at a "normal" hour of the day. This job has become my therapy, my vacation if you will away from all that dick. And by dick I mean issues. Babysitting every scumbag fucktard restaurant, driver, and customer under the sun as the ass parade of dick bombards my beloved companies. At this point tho they run themselves so there is that, while thankfully now they are greater than and not reliant upon me.

Thousands count on them every day. Not just the customers who want their food as fast as humanly possible as affordable as humanly possible. Also not for the restaurants who enjoy a good amount of extra exposure and money. Also not just for the thousands of people past, present, and future working for them who are at a company that was designed with their happiness in mind. Companies dedicated to giving their drivers the dignity and respect that no one in the history of the world would ever or could ever do. Concerning these companies I also take pride in knowing that doing good things leads to other good things. Let's say for example in Athens, Ga the Little Caesars on Baxter Street sells $30,000 worth of extra delivery pizzas/year that it would not have without a delivery service since they do not deliver themselves in store. Sure the local owner there is stoked but now also the farmers have to grow more tomatoes to supply Little Caesars sauce. Futhermore, the truck drivers who then in turn supply Little Caesars in Athens with all that extra sauce also have more runs to make and orders to fill.

>>719128903
>>719128744

what is the book called faggot

>>719138435
Sure I did it for the money but really it has always been more to me. A higher purpose for the betterment of society. Doing my part to move the world forward while simultaneously solving it's problems along the way. In any event, here I now sit answering phones, greeting new clients, running errands (certainly not for the TINY AMOUNT of money Archer pays me, although I told him when he hired me that I would do it for free, that I was not there for the money), all with a shit eating grin on my face knowing in the back of my mind what I had to get through to get here. While I am in here he of course has my undivided attention.

Our story does actually begin in a small suburb of Washington D.C. called Potomac, Maryland. Behind South Florida and New York I'm pretty sure that Potomac is third highest population density of Jew in the country. Oye fucking Vey. To say that I grew up in a sheltered environment would be an understatement. I literally thought that 85% of the world was Jewish. On the outside our family was wonderful. Two "loving" parents and an older sister. Life was easy and a breeze for our hero right? Ehhh. My father was actually a violent insane degenerate while my mother was a bulimic. When I say bulimic I mean BU-LIM-IC. Sure she physically binged and purged out all of her food for thirty years until her body, in it's search for nutrition, started eating itself from the inside out, but it was more than just physical. She violently binged and purged everything in her life, nothing was safe. Feelings, emotions, her son, money, mental health, any and everything in her wake was gobbled up, "processed", and then spat back out in the toilet down the proverbial or otherwise drain wasted.

>>719138530
keep scrlling down

>>719138561
Some of my earliest memories of my mom were her making me feel guilty for telling on her for eating a 12 pack of Hershey bars and puking them down the toilet. Despite being so young even I knew it was wrong and would tell my sister and dad about the missing chocolate and God knows what else she would ingest. My mom would then tell me that I violated her trust. That she could not trust me with anything anymore, and that it would take years for me to build back that trust. Essentially she would mind fuck and make her ten year old son feel guilty about loving his mom and trying to protect her from herself. At some point tho I did grow up and recognize her for some sort of demon for lack of better term. Still getting to that point not only was emotionally back breaking, but once you get there you now know that your mom, the only mom you will ever get, is a revolting bulimic leech. Or is it leeching bulimic? For years I would debate in my mind if her most dominate trait was that of a leech or that of a bulimic.

Certainly was a disgusting cycle, she provided essentially no value to the world and again anything of value that she did circumvent she would literally or figuratively puke it away in her own special way. Her official professional title was that of "homemaker". (Although to be fair, she did do some substitute teaching towards the end of her time, God bless her.) Back to my childhood tho, she would literally spend her life eating bon bons all day bitching about doing the laundry because it was an "endless thankless job for people who did not deserve it." What a scumbag. I will never forget on the night of my Bar Mitzvah we are arriving at the party in my Dad's car and they were having a conversation about me as if both me and my sister were not in the back seat listening.

>>719138561
Can you skip to the penetration please?

>>719130037
Stop getting shit tattoos

>>719138663
The highlight of the conversation was her saying "....and I just hate him so much..." Was a conversation about how expensive the party was and that even after they pocketed all of my Bar Mitzvah gift money, for themselves, they were still spending a pretty penny all for a worthless piece of shit that they called their son. I do know that I was no angel growing up, but in my defense I was just a child. Pretty sure that as a baby I started off OK. Loyal, loving, truthful.


I don't think she made one breakfast for me in her entire life. Additionally, the house was always a mess. I guess she just didn't have the time. She had no concept of her job as a "homemaker" and was not capable of having any pride in her "work." I had so much respect for any of my friends' moms who held down and had real actual jobs. It wasn't just that she didn't have a real actual money paying job tho it was compounded by the fact that she failed so unbelievably hard at the few tasks she was given. How could she have the time and energy to keep the house clean or to cook a well balanced nutritious breakfast for her son in the morning if she was literally up until the wee hours of the night sticking her fingers down her throat vomiting? I was always jealous of peoples' love for their moms. Some of the scummiest pieces of shit in this world love their moms and always will. Part of me will always wonder where I would have ended up if I had the proper love and guidance.

>>719125192
Holy shit, are you me? Fellow 40 year old that doesn't give a shit about anything. Do you smoke a lot of pot? I'm even a legit 9/10 but haven't been laid in years because I hate US women,

>>719138806
Now my father well he was not a man. Sure physically and financially ya I guess but as far as having a shred of pride in himself and his son and his family, and how to act as a decent human being, not even close. In his defense he grew up in a loveless house and his mom was a monster. But at some point we are all held accountable for our actions. The referee doesn't win or lose the ball game for you, as long as you got to step out onto the playing field you are given a chance (unless we are talking about Game 6 of the 2002 Western Conference Finals. Those refs insured that the Kings had no chance in that game). At some point I stopped blaming my parents and realized if it was gonna happen it is on me and no one else. But ya his mom was a monster.

I remember in the late '90s I visited her down in South Florida. She had me stay in literally a beyond filthy crack motel, a place where real actual nightmares were made. When I did actually see her in her condo she yelled at me "You are so dumb!" when I inadvertently leaned on her wallpaper. She was worried about her walls getting smudged. I can only imagine what he went through as a child in her house in Queens, NY. He failed out of college when he went to Cornell because his little brain could not handle the freedom of being away from her evil liar. But he did eventually grow up to some degree I guess, at least financially. Dad was always great at math so he went to local Queens College. He eventually became a successful actuary and moved his family down to the suburbs in Potomac.

I remember him to be an emotionless droid, emotionless of course except for the anger and violence. I want to say that roughly a good fourth of every morning my alarm clock was the two of them screaming at each other, especially on the weekends. He married a bulimic leech and I'm sure it was frustrating.

>>719138866
Still he was heartless (getting a divorce not only was financially a burden but also his mother would not approve) and instead of doing anything productive he was happy to violently binge and purge with her through the years emotionally like a child. They loved to argue and scream and hit and cry and spit on and then of course without fail kiss and make up and forgive like nothing ever happened until again without fail a few days would pass and then the whole vicious cycle would repeat itself anew.

Sure he never hit me but he did kill a good chunk of my insides, not all, soon enough tho, it all was kill. My sister and I were collateral damage. We just wanted the fighting and the screaming to stop! It was heartwrenching. When they fought we would grab pots and pans and bang them to drown out the anger and the noise. That would last until he would get in our little faces and scream at the top of his lungs "SHUT THE FUCK UP!" My sister and I were smart. After witnessing all that violence she vowed to never let a man control her in any way. She is now a doctor. I vowed to never marry a woman that I would want to yell at and fight with. I'm 40 (I'M A MAN, like Coach Gundy, worth the google, I feel it is inappropriate for anyone ever to not say I'M A MAN after saying I'm 40), never been married. Not trying to imply that there are no good women out there, because there are, I just never grew up.


So as the years passed I grew more distant from the family, hating them more and more each day. I had no love nor any respect for them and they had none for me. I decided to focus on my friends and school as it was my escape from the madness.

Start using cocaine and fucking hookers. Preferably at the same time and repeat this process every other night.

>>719138933
I decided to focus on my friends and school as it was my escape from the madness. And it was at the age of 15 where I finally lost my mind. The nightmare would end when I was away from them but once all of my friends and my school and my neighborhood was torn away from me my fate was sealed. I saw an episode of Lock-UP once (its a show where camera crews go behind the bars of prisons and show us life inside) where a 17 year old was in prison for an accidental, for lack of better term, type of murder and was now almost 30. There was a childish nature about him that reminded the producers of the show of how a teenager would act and not a 30 year old who has been incarcerated for ten plus years. Their theory was that once he was locked up at 17 his life stopped. That he will perpetually be there mentally. This is how the brain protects itself when faced with such a traumatic situation.

Back in 1989 I was 15 years old and set to begin high school. My sister who is two years older than me went to our neighborhood school that I could ride my bike to. The problem was that school was over populated and a different further away school was under populated. Despite being able to bike to my sister's school, the school board decided that they would now bus kids from my neighborhood to that different school across town, because my neighborhood was closest to that other underpopulated school. The neighborhood split up at that point and was broken. Many moved, many went to private schools, some went to the new underpopulated school, I was one of the ones that ended up in private school. But here's the catch, I didn't go to the private school that everyone else went to. No I was actually accepted into one of the most prestigious all boys private schools in the greater metropolitan Washington D.C. area.

>>719139061
Ya that's right I said ALL BOYS. I also had to WEAR A JACKET AND TIE TO SCHOOL every, fucking, day. Moreover, the only reason why I was accepted to that prestigious school was because we had a copy of the entrance test the night before I took it. My parents hired a tutor from that school to get me ready for the entrance exam and that tutor brought over practice tests for me to take. One of those practice tests, somehow, as fate would have it, was the exact same test as the one I would take the next day. The night before I took the test, I took the test! Needless to say when I took it "for real" I got 100%. FML, looking back I would have failed that mother fucker, gotten a 0% but that's how it all played out. I hustled myself. One of the pillars of this school was "never lie, cheat, nor steal." I violated this creed on my way in the door like a piece of shit too smart for my own good. Well every action has an equal and opposite reaction in the opposite direction doesn't it?

Like I said earlier I am sharp, and it was about 20 minutes into my high school career that I realized that my life was effectively over. That I was in a perpetual living hell world of shit in every aspect of my life and there was no escape! Even if the boys at the new school were nice, which of course they were not (every kid who went to this school at first always thinks that it will be fun and awesome and they will be accepted, but in reality for most new comers it is the polar opposite) it was still an ALL BOYS JACKET AND TIE school. I knew no one, no one knew me and again even if I did, it was still ALL BOYS JACKET AND TIE. There was no escape. Every day I would get home from school and cry. Cry for hours and hours from the moment I got home until the moment I went to sleep. I would just go up into my room and cry.

>>719139137
By the second semester the crying finally stopped, but the misery sure as fuck did not. Here was my typical high school day. While the rest of normal society woke up and lived their lives I was losing my mind. About as often than not I was awoken by them yelling. Then I put on my jacket and tie, get driven for over an hour all the way across town. Spend eight hours with a group of guys who I did not give a fuck about and certainly did not give a fuck about me.


~Although to be fair looking back I love them, it just took a few painful years to meet some people. Don't kid yourself I was still miserable regardless but now 25 years later I got nothing but love for them all, we did share our youth and childhood/highschool together. Really compared to what they have accomplished I am an abject failure. Not that I have kept in touch with anyone but anyone that I have ever looked up really seems to have a great life up to and including a social media mogul, an executive at CNN, a comedy writer and eventually director for I shit you not some pretty major motion pictures and TV shows just to name a few off the top of my head.

Just want to be up front and honest with everyone right here and right now before you get too into this book with high hopes. Sure now I seem awesome and I may have even blown a few minds out there already for lack of better term, but the morbid reality is that chances are most anyone reading this (if anyone even is) is going to at some point subscribe to the philosophy that I should either (a) go fuck myself and/or (b) shut the fuck up. Sure I do end up in fact becoming the greatest delivery boy that is was or ever will be no doubt, and yes it is a very entertaining tale (or at least I think so), but my life on some levels is just one series of self-induced embarrassments after the next, hiding behind some major life long self-esteem/worth issues.

>>719139183
Truth be told this book that you are reading is a cry for help on some level. I end up getting raped. Violated so incredibly bad that I feel that this book is "writing itself", not me. Much like that 30 year old "17" year old on 'Lock-Up', and me shutting down as a man at the age of 15 when I got sent to that school, writing this book is how my body/mind processes such absolute trauma. Much like I feel that during the construction of these food delivery services I was being guided by a higher (not religious) spiritual power, connecting the dots out in those streets hustlin' harder than anyone ever has or will or could be capable of. All the while of course doing my part to move the world forward while simultaneously solving it's problems along the way. This book as you will see is a similar. I am not writing it, rather it is being written by a higher source fueled by blind white hot rage.

Additionally, somehow I ended up in Archer's office with a lot a free time on my hands. That, and I was in fact violated and raped so very hard and futhermore so was my city that I love. I need to tell this tale. My whole life I feel that I have been crying for help. Now I am crying for that too I guess, but primarily for attention in this story that I am writing back then and you are reading today. Like I said this book is "writing itself", not me. I had no choice. Just wanted to be up front an honest with everyone from the beginning.

I guess you could call this the "tl;dr". The morbid reality is that I was in fact raped, not physically, I need to come clean with that right now and not be a total asshole and lead you on to believe otherwise. For the record I hate to use the word "rape" when a real actual physical rape has not occurred. However, please be the judge yourself and see how the story unfolds. I know that using this word may be disrespectful and I apologize for that, I just feel that in this case it is fair to make that exceptio

>>719139298
But ya, in this tl;dr (spoiler alert) I need to be up front with you right here and right now. I'm kinda retarded or something. Who knows maybe one or two people somewhere out there on God's green Earth is in fact actually reading this? and Who knows maybe you make it to the end not just because you enjoy the story but also the manner with which I chose to tell it? One can only hope right? If you don't have hope then what do you have? Maybe just maybe God forbid despite the fact that I have been kinda retarded my whole life I do end up finding peace in all of this and finally perhaps growing up once and for all?

Yadda yadda yadda if you make it to the end that means you love me, and I love you. If you don't, that means you don't necessarily "hate" me but like I said I probably disgust you and/or am just a bit too retarded for you. As "retarded" as I may or may not be I for sure know that not only am I in fact a bit retarded or something in my early 40's, but there is a good chance that at some point in this story you will grow to maybe not loathe me but more or less be disgusted by me for lack of better term, and give up on me and this story. Yall can go fuck yourselves.

However, everyone can agree that I mean no harm, I'm just like I said, kinda retarded or something. I'm actually kinda a badass (or at least I think so), and I end up doing a lot of great things while O BTW helping out others, something I have always enjoyed doing. But odds are I may in fact be just too much of a douchbag I know it, fuck me heard, o well what are ya gonna do? I was raped, I need to tell this tale, I have no choice especially as I find myself sitting in Archer's office surrounded by thousands of book that are worth significantly more than me with a lot of free time on my hands.

>>719135765
What are the businesses??

>>719139425
At the end of the day they actually did all of this to me. As you will see I have a tendency to be all heart to a fault, and they broke my fucking heart and O BTW the heart of my city that I love. Moreover, it wasn't just the rape itself that was so horrible, but if you stick with this story you will see that it was also the manner with which they did it and also why they did it.

At the end of the day to a certain degree everyone in this tale gets what they deserve. It's not like those fuckers got away with much I mean we all reap what we sow ideally and hopefully in this tale that we all call life right? Who knows maybe karma will fully catch up to everyone not just those fuckers and me, but again ideally and hopefully every person on Earth? It is also hopefully within writing this tale that I can restore my own personal faith in humanity. If you don't have hope then what do you have? My life is an open book (literally), I have nothing to hide. Don't kid yourself I am the greatest delivery boy that is, was, or ever will be. I ran out of fucks to give a long time ago. Buckle up ladies and gentlemen where we are going we don't need roads, we are going on an epic saga of a journey to the very tippy top of Dick Mountain. Maybe I am already in your head Why? Because maybe you have been in mine for as long as I can remember.~
Right, so where were we...Spent eight hours with "a group of guys who I did not give a fuck about and certainly did not give a fuck about me." Then go home and be surrounded by anger and violence. My mom the bulimic, would love to buy raspberry danishes for my dad the lunatic child. She would then spend hours picking all the icing off said danishes and eating it.

>>719139529
keep scrolin down fam

>>719139550
Then she would make new icing, eat half of it, and re coat the lunatic's danishes with the remaining bit of new icing. He would then witness all this at some point or look at the bills or really whatever would happen he was always on a hair trigger, and begin to scream and hit and spit on ..... Late at night she loved to purge.

She would quietly recess herself to the upstairs bathroom, when she thought everyone was asleep, and shove her fingers down her throat. She enjoyed this. It was her life hack, it was her edge. She would always emerge like an athlete who just finished a long run or exercise routine. There were nights I would stay up and wait for her to emerge, just to see the look on her face. She knew if he woke up we would both be in big trouble so we had this unspoken disturbing creepy connection. I had basically no friends. My old neighborhood buddies more or less moved on with their lives and the new ones didn't exist nor did I have much of a desire to find them. Hope was lost. Me being at that school just felt like I was trying to fit a square peg into a round hole. In any event, I was a walking Zombie. I never slept, there was no escape. I was completely and utterly miserable alone and losing my mind . And I do know there are worse things in life than being stripped of a high school experience while simultaneously living in a loveless crazyhouse, I know that now, but at the time I sure as shit did not.

My mind was fucked. To some degree I feel my mom had some form of munchausen by proxy. A disease in which the mom or dad inflicts pain on their child so that they can garner attention for themselves. In any event, I felt that this demon, for lack of better term, fed off of my pain.

>>719139626
Despite being physically abused for years by my Dad (she was always bruised and battered) I feel that my mom was the one in control. She loved it all. The abuse she received was an instrument she would redirect for her own clandestine needs and pleasure. Maybe I'm giving her too much credit.

In any event, I'M SORRY MAMMA! I NEVER MEANT TO HURT YOOUUUU! I NEVER MEANT TO MAKE YOU CRY! But tonight I'm cleaning out my closet. When she did finally die I was LONG gone, and my only regret at the time about her death was that I did not get the opportunity to witness and passive aggressively increase her suffering by showing her all she missed in my at the time pathetic fucking life. Sick shit, I know.
CHAPTER 2: The Escape

So as the years passed and as the world grew up around me I stayed 15. I refused to grow up, it was my brains way of protecting itself. I was so fucking unhappy.
cont??? anyone listening or should i crawl back under the rock from which I came? all gud either way but that was chapter one , no fucks given .

>>719138185
FAGGOT
A
G
G
O
T

>>719138586
i got there ty

>>719139753
no more book please.

this post>>719138837

going outside to smoke anohter long newport if 404 i love you all b will post moreif you want or go fuck myself either way god bless

http://steamcommunity.com/id/ec136 Will trade saucy stories for games.

I'm not going to tell you to be happy with what you have, but you can be bored and happy if that makes any sense.

When you're bored you have your best ideas and you feel a desire to do something different.
When you get really bored you also happen to appreciate what you do have.

Not everything you do needs to be a bold generic act.
Go get a jetski and explore some lakes or something.

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>>719123509
This fuck got 50,000 saved up. And I'm over he trying to sell hotwheels on ebay to buy one of my best friends a crappy stirling silver necklace to replace one that was lost..

God damn OP.. Wanna buy a hotwheel for a stupid amount of money?

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>>719140451
your pathetic existence makes me happy for a fleeting moment

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>>719140548

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>>719140432
i dont steam god dam never been there not once

i got a lot more the book is like very long it is not a short story got a lot on my mind or did when i wrote it years ago

thank you for the kind words anon and ideas

>>719140548
Sometimes I think about how my life would change if I could just get like $10,000.. I think about money a lot. Mainly because I never have any. Wanna know what I had for dinner today? A can of kidney beans warmed up in a microwave. That is it.. Just plain jane beans.

>>719123509
This fucking Jew had a bad childhood and can't get over it. Boo fucking hoo. You're weak. What kind of a man gets Eminem lyrics tattooed on them. If Old dirty bastard were alive he would curb stomp you.
Jesus Christ, grow the fuck up.

>>719140839
Nigga that shit sucks get a better job

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>>719140850
sorry dude i never got over it i mean i have to a certain degree but am just stuck at 15 with no fucks to give its part blessing but part curse >>719140432
this guy >>719140432
gets it

>>719123509
Buy a car, drive it into the ground. Nothing makes me happier than sliding around dirt roads. It may sound unamusing to some, but give it a shot

>>719140919
Heres the thing.. If I get a better job. I lose my health care.. And I pretty much need it to stay alive at this point. Unless I find a job at 15/hr with healthcare benefits (fucking joke where I live) I'm fucking stuck.

>>719141122
Shitttt life seems hard and complicated in the states

>>719140850
his tats are sweet you just a jelly bitch

>>719141111
jesus checked and also >>719141122
checked epic bread

>>719141111
Checked.

>>719141109
Wrong. You choose to be that way. You'll never change until you want to change.

>>719141305
Yeah.. I like some parts of it. Like laws and shit. But when a fucking walmart pays like 50% of the population in a 15 miles of it.. Shit there aint any good work here. You either bust your ass doing mexican work like laying pipe or construction at like 8 dollars an hour. Or you work in some shitty kitchen making food or waiting tables at like I think its 5 dollars an hour for servers and delivery drivers + tips.. Or you find some shitty hospitality job like cleaning rooms and houses.

And all of these jobs are filled with fucking spics who don't ever speak English. Its hell here.

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>>719141472
i know but thats the thing im content being a 42 year old b tard with no one to answer to, but still nothing makes me happy and im content enough to just wallow in it i know i suck and I could answer with well at least i aint broke hoe but hinestly even with the money my life is empty and Im ok with it to a certain degree im high rambling idk bro fuck me

>>719141672
Op you never answered me. Wanna buy a hotwheel car for 100 dollars? Hell ill send you a few...

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>>719141624
OP here , where do you live what state Anon?

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>>719141759
i did answer you sir here >>719140548

>>719141672
Well bud, I hope you find something that gets you out of bed in the morning.

>>719141780
Kek. Florida.

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>>719141841
god I miss that dog the one on the left, her grandson on the right is laying next to me in bed rn

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>>719141935
what part of fla I lived there for 23 years

>>719141914
preciate you fam for now I got my dogs when they are gone headed to SE Asia to sex tour I guess

>>719141936
was taken the week she passed , she lived a good life, I loved her and made her a happy dog

>her son Bullet now 12

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>>719142096
Bullet when he was just a wee pup

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>>719142096
Well. Osceola county. Little big Puerto rico.

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>>719142209
dude who inspired my book rekt oops my bad, he did sucker punch me

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>>719142281
ya thats pretty brown down there ghetto as fuck

>>719142507
Yeah.. Its why I tell people to not move to florida as theres nothing here.. Its not a giant beach with disneyworld in the middle of it. Its a swampy hell hole with company's not wanting to pay you more then 10 dollars an hour but at the same time a 1 bed 1 bath place will run you around 700 dollars a month, the economy sucks so much dick here and nobody seeks to give a fuck to force change.

Maybe ill spend my last few dollars tomorrow on scatch offs... So pray for me on winning something.

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whatever it was a fun thread got some sht off my chest, thanks b for the ideas the girl who said i should suck my dying dogs prolapse will be HIV pos in the near future , hes cheating on you honey have fun with that you fucking piece of shit I hope you die a slow and painful death , guess i'll see you fgts never , love you

>>719142838
bro ill buy you something idk what can i do to make your life a little bit better as long as it doesnt involve matchbox cars lol

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>>719142838
i got busted at 32 was homeless if my car broke down , got a job delivering pizza, saved up and started my own delivery company with some help from a friend who invested like 5 grand but i made it happen , find something do it better than anyone else , get that paper and dont stop til its been got

>>719142957
Their hot wheels.. There's a difference.. Lmao. And it was merely a trade offer really because I aint got nothing else to send.

Well lets see.. I need some money for food, mouthwash and tooth paste, a pair of jeans to replace the ones I ripped 4 days ago (only got 3 pairs of pants now) and some new socks.

What I'd want the most is a job paying 15/hr at least so I dont have to stuggle every fucking month.. I'm clean, don't do drugs or even drink and I have the ability to learn about anything with the rare ability of having tons of common sense. But nope. No work for me. I go around almost weekly asking places.

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>>719143530
what do you look like just post a pic no one cares is gonna hurt you shit i posted my life story

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>>719143530
ill buy a fucking hot wheels lol where do i go ebay? i feel bad man

>>719143820
Like a white guy?

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>>719143957
i am confused tho the hot wheels fag is the same as the osealoa county fag? thought was different fgts

>>719144053
No we are the same fag.

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>>719144094
SAMEFAG!


bro you got an ebay link?

>>719144171
No I tried to post them. Then it said it costed money to start the post... Didn't realize it would cost money. So I just went on YouTube and started offering all the weird hotwheel toy guy YouTube channels a chance to buy a bunch of old ones in bulk and that I would go through paypal.

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>>719144316
what your paypal? I cant send til wednesday tho card nuber was stolen and new card will be here tues or wed cause of MLK day got delayed , havent used paypal in years would need to add money to it

>>719144316
[email protected]

Is my junk email. Ill forward my legit email from there if you care. Just make sure to make the email title in all caps saying faggot so I can find it.

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>>719144659
i just emailed you homie gonna help you out some why not? you seem like a decent dude who could use it

>>719144659
hey homie


was the title forgot the caps sorry hope you find it fgt

>>719145046
Its kay I haven't gotten it yet. But I'm waiting..

Email me too OP because I don't mind talking to a fellow anon. I'm bored as fuck too, currently looking for work so I ain't got shit to do.

my junk email:
[email protected]

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>>719145153
email me here at my troll account if you want jamisonrussels at yahoo

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>>719145278
your timing is off , thirsty asses here all day , read my book or find me someone who will Anon

Employ me, so I can do some work from home or online support, recent graduate that's stuck at the moment and needs to cover some payments.

>>719145379
Wasn't asking for money, just a friend :(

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>>719145442
i live in northern california now, am 42 and have no idea what I can pay you for , email me with ideas I guess

>dude I rekt, got hisself a DUI like the fuckboy that he is

>>719145281
I think it was sent.. Idk whats up. Gonna try another email

Send me $2000 so i can pay for my mums funeral.

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>>719145592
my bad Anon , just thought it was implied when you said no work

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>>719145733

Thou shall not break rules #1 and #2.

got it lol why you even mention them rules was just general faggotry?

Read you don't know stuff about technology. If you employ me I can teach you shit to cover some bills. Also interested in reading your book OP

email a nigga:
[email protected]