When's the last time you felt the soft smooth touch of a

September 2004

>>718922566
How?

>>718922229
2 hours ago

>>718922229
september 2015 ;_;

>>718922229
yesterday

>>718922925
>>718923027
Tell us about it anon. Not like we're going to anytime soon.

october 2014

5 minutes ago since this post

>>718922229
met a fat chick for Christmas. wasnt the smoothest touch. Probably been like 9 months fr.

some point 2014

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>Never
>I'm so alone
>tfw I'm a epileptic
>tfw Shut everyone out of life so People wouldnt have to deal with me and my seizures

Never

>>718922229
Five years, give or take

cant say i ever have mate

>>718922229
ealier fall 2014 as well

>>718922229
1978

>>718923047
>dropped gf off at work
>gave her a kiss goodbye
Going to be seeing her in like 4 or 5 hours
If you're looking for a sex story
>sometimes she lets me dress her in a dog collar and schoolgirl outfit
>get her on all fours and tell her to piss herself while I call her a slut and bark commands at her
Good times

Legit question: Why don't you guys improve your appearance and go out to meet people?

>>718922229
>January 14th 2017

>People saying today
>On /b/ on Saturday
mk

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Never, im probaby going to die lonly, apparently my smile freaks everyone out

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>>718923280

>>718923346
>people on /b/ can't have girlfriends and wives
>jealousy

>>718922229
9:30 this morning.

>>718923401
>reddit nice guys sub is the way you came

>>718923280
Actually I'm a lazy fatass.
I just work hard at my job so I have cool shit like my own house and truck and shit. Chicks dig independence.

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>>718923280
What's there to improve when you have epilepsy?
>inb4 people can ignore that
>inb4 I should just man up and stop pushing people away

2008

>>718923495
>independence
You mean, the nice shit they can buy because they don't have a woman tying them down?

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Aboot 27years ago when my mom made me wear a sweater.

>>718922229

A day after my birthday (20). My ex came to visit me for my birthday. Left for VT on the 21. broke up with me on the 22.

>>718923594
They're hard to find but get yourself a chick who is a traditionalist and actually makes her own money.
Her and Is income combined is between 100000 and 200000 depending on the year. We both work weird jobs so it really depends. Regardless though we have nice shit together and we both had exlusive nice shit before we met.

>>718923664
This guy wins.

At Christmas. My 10 year old niece was dressed like an elf, wearing a really short green dress. She kept sitting on my lap and wanting me to pick her up by the legs to hold her up high. The feel of her smooth, soft skin made me feel really sad and lonely.

>>718923390

Good looking guy bro. You shouldn't worry about shit. You'll fuck all the bitches you want in no time.

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>>718922229
July 2011

When I woke up this morning. Felt the smooth touch of a woman's skin pretty hard, actually.

January 2015

>>718922229
About 12 hours ago

Just get in fucking shape, dress nice, and get a haircut. It's really not that hard guys. If you need fashion tips ask a sister or a girl you're friendzoned with.

>>718924022

nice dubs

I'm actually not bad looking, athletic, and I dress well. The fact is I don't just socialize with people outside university classes.

>>718924022
>friendzone
>ask a girl
And this is where we knew anon was bullshitting.

>>718924164
Trust me, if you get out there you'll pull pussy no problem.

Strike up a conversation with someone in your classes who seems like they have a lot in common with you, guy or girl. Ask them about any parties etc, once you're there you'll be fine.

>>718922229
far, far too long ago

>>718924283
Lol fair point, but it's never too late to change beta behaviour.

>>718922229
10 minutes ago

probably 2013-2014

>>718924022
>implying there are any women in my life

>>718924518
There are probably YouTube channels and stuff that do male fashion. Just stay away from the gay stuff, dress to look masculine.

>>718922229

fuck, almost quints..

last time I touched a woman was 2 hrs ago when I woke up and busted a nut on my gf

>>718922229
Tuesday.
God women has such a nice soft smooth skin fuck i love it

It's about noon here in upstate NY.

>be last night
>out at the bar with gf and a few friends (were all white and mid 20's)
>gf loves tequila and gets very bi when she drinks
>me,gf, and one of our other female friends closed down the bar at about 2
>gf is hot, brunette, DD chest, small ass but tits make up for it
>female friend, call her Kim, is talking about going back to her place for more drinks
>fuck yes.
>mind you, Kim is also brunette, DD chest, and works out alot, yoga instructor, loads of marathons for charity yadda yadda
>I drive us all to her place because I'm the smart one and sobered up
>we get there and Kim pulls out the bottle of Jameson
>"shots Woopwoop!"
>herewego.gif
>few shots later they are arguing about who's ass is better(kims by a long shot)
>"anon who's ass is bigger you be the referee here please"
>okay both of you get up and turn around, asses to me please
>I throw my finger on my chin and have this cheesy grin on my face while they do their best to make their own assess look bigger
>"Uhm it's a close call but honestly jeans don't compare to yoga pants babe so it's gotta be Kim on this one"
>my gf gets jealous and immediately rips off her jeans
>reveals this tiny black thong-like contraption which has extra straps going around her hips
>Kim's eyes light up when seeing this
>my stomache is churning waiting for Kim to make a retaliatory move

Cont? Interest? Didn't pre type this one because I just woke up from the night before

>>718924844
Did you just jerk off on her or did she actually fuck you?

>>718924959

She got on top of me but at the end I busted outside jerking off on her stomach

Maybe less than a month ago. Hooked up with some girl at a bar, she tried feeding me pizza and I told her to fuck off

>>718924950
keep going. and so help me god if this doesnt end with walking the dinosaur im gonna be soooooooooooooo pissed

20 oh 8

>>718922229
Some time late last year. Before that probably some time in 2015

Cont.
>Kim snacks my gfs ass a couple times, and on the last smack she keeps her hand on her right cheek
>she slowly jiggles it from the bottom while they both let out subtle moans paired with giggles
>my gf takes her pointer finger and slides it down the middle of Kim's upper back
>she catches the top of her pants and pulls them down from the center
>Kim pushes her butt ,while keeping her knees locked and chest straight
>both of them about 2 ft from my face
>it's glorious. I have had a fantasy about a threesome with these two for about a year
>diamonds.png
>"so now who's ass is bigger anon?"
>both of the ladies smile and chuckle, almost like they both enjoy teasing me
>"alright, stand up straight and lock your knees like Kim is doing babe
>I put one hand on each ass and caress both of them
>jiggle them from the bottom shelf
>okay my decision is final
>they turn around
>sorry hun but Kim has you by a small fraction
>gf gets a small look of dissatisfaction
> hunny, I'm not 100 percent sure here, but I think you have her beat on the tits so
>huge smile from gf and she sticks her tongue out at kim
>Kim says "well I really fucking doubt that one! "

Cont? Sorry slow typing on my phone gents. Couple more posts untill finish

>>718926288
Smacks* auto correct Bs

>>718926288
checked. keep going

>>718926288
Bump

>>718922594

'How' what? We made out. That's it.

>>718924412

I have this grill in class that I talk to, but she's not my type and got a bf, so the there's that.

>>718926288
fuk off

2009.

22.5.2012
iirc

>>718922229
july 2013

>>718922229
A few hours ago

Currently doing so.

>Be me, 25
>somewhat handsome
>called hot by 8/10s
>popular and outgoing
>fucked 10 girls by the time I was 18
>become edgy friendless sperg
>nobody invites me out any more
>girl that do ask me out get spaghetti
2009

Cont.
>they are both wearing very low cut shirts, gf is in black, and Kim is wearing fuck-me-red
>they smile and both immediately start putting their tits in my face
>bumping them up with their hands and at times sinking my face into them taking turns
>both have their hands on each one of my knees for support
>"so, anon?" *smiles
>ha, well I might be a dude, but I also know bras hold alot of powers to help ladies get "drinks"
>I actually used air quotations
>autistic moment thinking back, but it worked
>they both ask where they get their bras from
>Victorias secret was the consensus
>I shrug my hands up and they pull off their shirts
>both of them fumble with the hooks like its their first time
>"you want help?"
> they turn around, facing away from me and get on their knees
>with one swift hand motion I take a strap in each hand and pop them both easily
>they laugh loudly and catch their bras from falling
>both turn around and my gf throws her bra on the ground
>Kim uses one arm to feel gf tits and the other still holding her bra
>fuckyesyesyes.png
>"your turn kim" my gf says
>she reveals these perky, perfectly even, tits. Pink nipples about the size of quarters that are so hard it can cut diamonds
>I feel them both, much like when I sized up their asses
>I grab a nipple from each of them and get a little rough
>they love it
>both of their hands are now slowly rubbing my thighs and moving towards my diamond cock
>Kim is the first to touch my throbbing cock through my jeans, her eyes light up
>not gonna lie I'm not pornstar length but I'm above average
>Kim looks at my gf and says one word
>hrnnggg.jpeg
>"please?"
>gf nods and smiles

Again sorry slow typing gents

>>718922229
>implying any of us astistics sperglords on /b/ ever felt the touch of a woman apart from their own mothers

>>718926963
It's "fuck", cockbreath, now go back to your tendies and vidya, virgin cretin

>>718922229
About 5 hours. Nailed my wife and she's not fat....yet

>>718927834
Do I cont? Any interest?

>>718927834
bump

>>718928260
yes cont. for my cock

>>718922229
Same actually.

>>718923280
Because I don't feel like meeting people. I'm alright by my own. Also why do you think my appearance is not acceptable?

July 2015

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>>718924022
>implying I have friends

>>718927834
bump hurry up nigger

>Kim pulls off my belt, unbuttons my jeans, and pulls them down off my legs
>they both massage my cock and smile at me
>"don't let this influence your decision anon"
>nofuckingproblemhun.gif
>my gf pulls down my boxers and my erect and cut cock whips out
>they get the idea to decide who's better at sucking cock
>Kim starts, she's looking up at me with huge brown eyes and licks my cock from the base to the tip, kissing my tip with soft pink lips
>my gf sees my enjoyment and plays with kims tits
>Kim puts my cock in her mouth and goes to town
>slobbering, stroking, and deep hoover type sucking only drunk chicks can handle
>one last push into the back of her throat and she's only about 3/4 of the way down
>she let's out a gag and stops, her face is filled with extreme excitement that she was able to get that far
>my gf takes my cock and says
>"here I'll show you how far I can go"
>she spits on it and gently takes it halfway.
>3/4
>then with one motion she angles her head and goes balls deep, sticking her tongue out on my balls.
>she let's up and Kim is in amazement
>"see! That's how it's done"
>they both proceed to kiss the tip of my cock and kiss eachother doing so

>>718922229
2011 may/june what level am i?

>>718929784
Bump

>Kim takes my cock in her right hand and strokes it like I've never felt in my life
>her strong but soft hands are comparable to nothing else
>she stroked me while French kissing my gf and caressing each others huge DD tits
>Kim asks me "so I can't go as far, but how's this anon? "
>I let out a hrngg and thrust my cock uncontrollably while they smile
>Kim puts her tits on my cock shakes them around back and forth, gently sliding her pink nipples on the tip of my cock
>my gf joins in and I now have two sets of tits rubbing my cock in all directions
>I take my hands and try my best to touch every inch of both sets of breasts, but I couldn't get enough, I need more hands for this
>my gf then stands up and turns around, Kim does the same
>they both, synchronously, slowly pull down their thongs and bend over, slapping eachothers asses while doing so
>I stand up and take my shirt off, they both rush to touch my stomach(toned, but no six pack yet)
> I stand while they kneel and continue to completely slobber on my cock
Cont?

Just touched my mom if that counts..

>>718922229
January 14th 2017

Even suckled on her nips for a while

>>718930608
yah

>my gf gets up and moves to the back of Kim, she pulls her ass up in the air with my cock still in her mouth
>she then spits on kims pussy and burys her face in her ass while touching herself too
>Kim moans loudly, muffled by the throbbing 7 inch cock deep in her throat
>Kim can't contain herself, she takes my cock out of her mouth and uses two hands to continue stroking me
>holy fuck, here I thought one hand by her was incomparable
>I sit down back on the couch, unable to stand from the intense pleasure
>my gf stands up and strattles my face
>I start sucking on her clit, licking her and slobbering as much as I can while Kim is still sucking my cock
>my gf moans and cums in seconds flat
>Kim stops and motions that they should switch
>Kim strattles my face and I go in for round two while my gf puts my cock balls deep again and thrusts it down her throat
>Kim is moaning like no other, pushing her perfect tight pussy around my lips and tounge
>Kim gets quiet and clenches up and starts to shake, she let's out a moan and pulls my hair while she gloriously cums in my mouth
>I give her pussy one last kiss and reach up to her tits
>Kim falls down on my lap, with her hands on my shoulders, and huge tits in my face
>my gf helps my cock slide into her tight pink pussy and I can only do one thing- sit there and watch kims face smile as she knows already how tight she is
Any interest still? I know I'm slow at typing on my phone, again happened last night and I didn't have it pre typed

>>718931967
keep going for the love of allah

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>>718923211

last February

>>718922229
2011

>since Kim is very athletic, she is a natural at riding my cock
>thrusting, grinding, both fast, and slow
>I take my girls hand and set her on top of my face again, by this time I've laid down completely on the couch
>I hit round three of pussy in my face and make her cum again, but this time I've gone slower to make her cum more
>Kimmy starts moaning louder, going faster and faster untill she gets quiet again and cums on my cock
>they both came at the same time because of me, very proud of myself here gents
>I get up and put them both on the couch, knees on the edge and asses up
>I took a moment to just stare at Kim, her asshole looked perfect, I couldn't resist
>I spit on her tight Asshole and licked up and down, in and out, down to her clit, then back up
>I used my free hand on the left to play with my gfs clit so she didn't feel left out
>I see them making out with eachother while I pleasure them both
>I switch pussys and hands, eating my gf out like I know she loves
>few minutes go by and I stand up
>smack both asses, leaving hand prints on each cheek, of the both of the girls
>they moan/giggle like little sluts
>I thrust my cock into Kim, taking the chance too massage the tip on her clit

>>718923280
What do you mean by improve your appearance

>I switch after a few mins to my gf so she doesn't feel left out
>Kim flops over on her stomach, and pulls my gfs mouth toward her clit
>"I wanna taste you"
>I'm watching my gf eat Kim out while I fuck her from behind, this is glorious, I'm in heaven.
>after a few minutes, I pull my cock out of my gf and slap her pussy with the top of my cock
>she moans, and I catch a second wind, allowing myself to make my gf cum agaim
>her moans are muffled by kims wet pussy and once again, Kim clenches and shuts up just like before
>they've came at the same time for the second time now
>I pull out, slap my gfs clit with the top of my cock again a few times
>time to switch again
>they get up and take the chance too make out with eachother, caress eachother, and pull my face in to join in kissing
>the three of our sweaty, wet bodies are together
>kissing three way, touching my cock, kims ass, my gfs ass
>we stop and I put Kim in the position my gf was just in, my gf follows into the same position on couch as Kim was last time
>I spit on kims pretty pink asshole and thrust my tongue a few times while the gf gets on her back for Kim to eat her out
>I slap her clit with the top of my cock a few times and bury my cock balls deep inside her
>she moans again and I start pounding away and slapping her ass

>>718933035
We now know where all of the writers from defunct nude magazines went.
The careful typos and apologies for slow typing are a nice touch but hardly convincing.
B+
Nice effort!

>>718934444
First off, chkd.

Second off, I should be going to work right now but Im typing this out on my phone while it's still fresh in my mind for you guys. I'm not some pro porno mag writer, take it or leave it.

>>718922229
December 3rd, 2016

>>718934742
That being said I can leave the story unfinished if no one is reading

two years ago this day on my birthday
she fucked me and then broke up with me later that night since she was moving to mexico.

>>718935012
finish it you bastard. you lived my dream

Yeaaaaaaaaaa it's been a while. September methinks

November 11, 2006.

>i continue to fuck kim while she is eating out my gf
>few minutes go by and both of them are unable to move or walk anymore from intense pleasure
>"ooo anon please cum, please"
>i turn kim over and throw her legs above my shoulders, shes loving it
>the look in her eyes was of complete satisfaction, before i could think, my gf sits on kims face again, grinding her pussy on her
>i fuck kims tight pussy as hard as i can in order to get myself to cum
>my girl moans and i can only assume kim has just made her cum again
>"here it comes hrngggg"
>kim clenches like before and sqeezes my cock with her pussy as she cums on my cock
>thats it, i cant last anymore
>i absolutely creampied kim in the most epic orgasm i could ever had asked for, myslef, kim, and my girl all came at the same time
>we all fall over onto the couch, kissing and making out for what seemed like seconds, but actually lasted a long time
>we all fell asleep naked under a few covers around 4 am
>i was the first to wake up , so naturally i took turns playing with their bodies untill they woke up
>my girlfriend asked me if i had a good time, we all nodded
>kim reached under the covers, and felt my throbbing morning wood
>she stroked it, and they both ducked under the covers and gave me a wet blowjob together
>i came in kims mouth, like i had intended

hope it was okay, time to work. laters /b/ros

About an hour ago

new years. but it was in a rapey kind

Every single fucking night next to my 9/10 wife, fuck you guys.

>>718922229
Today

about an hour ago i had my finger up her butt

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about tree fiddy

around 2007

>>718938119
you keep telling yourself that

New years

>>718922229
when born
also
>>718922222
Testan

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About two weeks ago

>>718922229
25th of october, my girlfriend flew to chile on that day, she'll be back in a week though

>>718932496
Savage

>>718922229
18 hours ago

yesterday when i groped my ex gf while she was drunk and asleep