Hey /b/ Female programmer here How do I stop my autistic co-workers

Self bump

What do you program females to do?

Learn to cook and find a husband. What are you doing programming? Jeez.

Start by posting tits of gtfo
Then we'll see about your problem

>>718747604
Your momma

>>718747527
Ahahahaha... girls can't code.

>>718747527
be unambiguous. ambiguity will get an unwelcome pencil moustache mashed against your upper lip. Make it clear if they seem to be showing interest that you're not looking for a relationship or that you have a boyfriend or that you're a lesbian. Hints will NOT do.

>>718747527
Tell them to go programme something in Haskell, convert it into assembly via using something coded in C, host it on an Apache server but has to have Perl handle all requests, all for a shot at sniffing your hair.

Oh, and if your name is Brittany, get the hell out of that Uni.

>>718747680
Embedded hardware software. Mostly for automation and manufacturing.
Try not to be condescending

>>718747527
Just say things like my boyfriend is taking me to this.../i got this <item> from my boyfriend/ I can wait to go see my boyfriend i haven't seen him in a couple of days/etc

just get the "i'm taken" hint through their heads

Why do femanons not understand?

>Tits or gtfo
>timestamp

You gotta follow the rules if you want help

Tell them.

>>718747527
You mean a "female designer" or a "female tester"?
Anyways, stop harassing poor coders in their workplace. Go blow your boss or something.

take a photo with a ripped alpha, frame and place on your desk

Wear a ring

>>718747527
>tits or gtfo

Literally, this is the simplest shit and you need to ask advice from 4chan. Your veild attempt at flattery will get you no where harlot.

>>718747527

Traps are not real females. Go back to tapping out Python with your giant trannydick you degenerate swine.

>>718747527
drama is for normies

work harder, get promotion, become their supervisor

>>718747755
tell that to my colleagues

>>718747905
That's not real programming. That's mostly circuits and shit, I know it because I've done it. GTFO. Learn to program actual programs (millions of lines of code).

>>718747920
fag. her gender is relevant to the thread. rules only apply to attention whoring.

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female here, how do I invite girls over for a ffm with my hubby?

Like what do I text them?

>>718747720
Ops definitely a chick because she's got a horrible sense of humor

>>718747527
Work from home.

>>718748124
You honestly wouldn't want to have to supervise some of the kinds of guys who do Comp Sci...

>>718748162
>implying that a single person writes programs that size alone

>>718748162
no you haven't faggot get out.

>>718747527
Put a framed picture of a buff dude prominently in your work space. Make sure they can't miss it. Bonus points if you can take a picture with someone like that. If coworkers you're friends with ask just say it's a cousin you've been friends with since childhood.

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>>718748160
Probably already said behind your back

>>718747832
>>Tell them I'm a married lesbian
>>Wants to be friends and says they will help me support feminism
>>Never said I was a feminist
>>They awkwardly talk about the struggle
>>Makes me hate them more

>>718748237
since that is what I do for a living, I don't see the problem

>>718748237
They are stubborn as fuck and get butthurt when you tell them they are wrong.

>>718748296
You obviously don't work in the field then...

>>718747527
Is this you? You're qt/10. Also, just tell them that you're in a relationship. Assuming they're autists of the fullest gentleman rank, they'll respect it and lay off.

>>718747527
Try booty clapping til a worm falls out of your ass https://m.imgur.com/Mj7hPf2

>>718748163
Youre a fag for saying that, i want to see her tits

>>718748163
tits or gtfo applies to all females, no matter the context

>>718748369
I feel for you.
Do you carry a can of disinfectant/air freshener with you?

>>718748171
i don't care if i can see a vagina in that picture... that wig still screams tranny.

>>718748534
how /b/ has fallen

>>718748296
>>718748297
embedded hardcore "programs" are max 50 lines of very simple C code. I was trying to make a point here, that OP is a faggot, but you missed it.

>>718748365
then just fuckin' ice them. Thing about autists is that they can't really tell when someone's being rude. Blow them off. Tell them you don't want to hang out with them

>>718748162
Most new programmers that I train come in bragging about either writing long lines of code or writing it all from scratch. Yet they can't understand the concept of providing comments or using the tab key properly. Stop pretending

tits timestamp or gtfo you programmer cunt

I made a similar thread on /sci/ once and wrote a paper about it for my feminism class.

Male programmer here.
How do I get my autistic female co-workers to awkwardly hit on me without starting drama?

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>female programmer

>>718748534
if you want tits google them. there's millions of titties on the web.
Keep begging her for her tits. It's not pathetic ;)

>>718748603
what is your point? because that doesn't really convey an op is a faggot idea.

>>718748642
Tab or 4 spaces?

I try to use tab as much as possible but literally every IDE changes it to 4 spaces.

>>718748539
actually it's just for attention whores. Quit being a fag

>>718748784
Stop being so autistic.

>>718748597
not samefag, but you're probably a newfag who's been here a few months and thinks that you know everything about 4chan. If you're a true oldfag, you'd know whenever there's a girl it's tits or gtfo with timestamp. faggot.

>>718748642
Ok, I stop. Thank you master. You are the master trainer.

>>718748667
How could you ever think 4chan would be a good representative of anything?
People are bound to take the piss out of you, no matter what stance you take.

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>female
>programmer

This Thread is a perfect example of how shitty /b/ is

>>718747527
Ok,
Heres what you do. What you want to do first is. from this perspective. Is to first, do this. This is definitely the beginning of the possibility and the direct outcome of said ability. Only during this of cource.
Yes, definitely should consider this as a first measure in the decisive rational thinking of set progatives. Arforementioned. Henseforth, this would serve that purspose of creative mutual understanding.
Indefinitely this measure is longstanding in this human understanding in the belief that one muat acknowledge this perpetual reasoning of misunderstanding.
And thats the conclusive substandard to not be minimized by overstating the obvious.
Hope that helps

get fat

>>718748171
she looks identical to my wife

>>718748784
Well while the method is mostly based on preference, mostly all can agree when they see ugly spaghetti code. Except the sensitive ones who wrote it

>>718748945
Wow, such an insightful and original comment. I'll right this one down and send it back to 2005 so we get it right from the beginning

>>718748826
But ur wrong new fag

>>718748908
That's not true fagtron. 4chan represents 4chan just fine.

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>>718748162
>embedded systems programming is not programming

kek'd

>>718748397
Please learn to fucking read

Be honest
Tell them they are helpless robots with no chance and that they might as well give up and start investing in hugging pillows and flesh lights for companionship.

>>718749127
Yeah but 4chan is different people every time you visit.

>>718749127
That was deep

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>>718748171
Tell 'em hubby has a huge dick.

>>718748826
>>718748163
You do realize that if OP did not stat their gender it could have easily been a faggot right?

Tits or GTFO applies here and you need to lurkmoar newfag or better yet stop posting/using this site.

>>718747527
every female programmer is autistic or obese

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>>718749217
OP here
Actually called them hapless robots in a nice way
They gave each other high fives and quote terminator
One gives off a strange cheese odor

>>718747527
OP you are fake, assuming pic is you. How do I know? You live either in a basement or cell, as indicated by the painted concrete blocks of the wall.

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>>718749087

>>718747527
Fuck him. Then get clingy. He'll slowly pull away.

>>718749484
Definition of peak performance..

>>718749463
OP here
Hates obese women
Not curvy but the "omgerd I need to drive my cart to reach the snack isle" obese

>>718747527
If you killed yourself then no one would hit on you anymore except maybe some necrophiliacs but you wouldn't remember it so I guess that's fine.

>>718747886
kek

>>718748163
Incorrect the rule was revised in 2009. It was changed to encompass any and all females on the bored. Stop acting like a old fag.

>>718749781
OP here
Just had the realization they could be reading this thread.

>>718748784
2 spaces

>>718747527
say you're a SJW.

>>718748603
Wat?

I work on embedded devices and we have millions of lines of code. Embedded is a vague term - do you mean something like a PIC microcontroller or something that can run on a MIPS processor? Both are embedded.

>>718749912
Old fags are so done with this gender shit it's not even funny. I've been here since 2006 and I could care less, but then again I am a girl.

>>718747527
sharpie in the pooper

>>718749340
BTW, nice dick.

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>>718749912
OP here
You sound like one of my co-workers trying to be a white knight.
Is your name Dave, balding, early 20's, around 260. Kinda look like a man baby?
Yeah I'm quitting this job. Don't care if it's actually you

>>718747527
You get eye contact and say " no, its not going to happen. Move on."

>>718747527
>Hey /b/
>Female programmer here
>How do I stop my autistic co-workers from awkwardly hitting on me without starting drama
>Do autist have drama?
>Pic unrelated
>>>
> Anonymous 01/12/17(Thu)23:04:28 No.718747586▶
>female
>programmer

pick one

>>718748365
Wow... at that point I'd really hit up HR if your shop actually has a proper hr (so many dev shops don't).
Truthfully.. if your in with a bunch of autistics... you are probably screwed.. and either have to live with it, get them fired/disciplined, or find somewhere else to work.

>>718750136
More of a sex issue. The lack of sex has caused hostility towards the opposite sex. Reap what you sow.

>>718747905
I'll embed my hardware in your software if you know what I'm saying

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>>718750333
OP here
Can I be a binary programmer?
Hur Hur?
No?
I tried

>>718750475
This place is an unhealthy mix of permavirgins and experienced sexual deviants.

>>718750330
How is that white Knighting? Saying she doesn't have to show her tits is the white Knight.

Male programmer here. I like to pose as a female sometimes on the interfriends so I don't shoot myself in my underwear.

>>718750561
kek

>>718748162
Somehow I suspect you've only written millions of lines of VB or javascript perhaps... very sad.
"Duh.. let me start a project... bring up scaffolding... hook into legacy system... 300k lines and i barely did shit... duh.."

>>718750453
OP here
It's a startup. They barely have a working bathroom. HR department has quite yet become a priority
Honestly I was excited about this job because it was the first time I wasn't surrounded by indians

>>718747911
This will do it

>>718750850
Kek. Fucking Indians.

>>718750831
After a certain point less is more when it comes to code. Anything intellectually taxing is going to be short and almost frustratingly terse and elegant when it's done.

>>718750628
That's real life as well. An unhealthy mix of virgins and the few who actually get laid. Been to a bar or campus party lately?

>>718750831
He probably still doesn't know what an array is.
He probably is a master at making vb calculators.

>>718750333
What.. more women needed in the field. Completely being sexist here.. but typically they don't have fucking grey beards with pieces of their lunch in it... don't take their shoes off and smell up the whole office... and often know how to talk to the stakeholders or anyone else with whom you need to work with on a daily basis...
A good 1/3 of male programmers should be weaned out of the gene pool if you ask me!

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most female programmers look like this

>>718747527
that has to be built into .net?

I think this:

public String evasionTactic( Object CreepyAutistmCoWorker)
{
CreepyAutistmCoWorker.Autism.Stop();
Self.Ignore(CreepyAutistmCoWorker);
Self.Tits.Cover();
CreepyAutistmCoWorker.Eyes.AvertGaze(); // not effective when aroused
CreepyAutistmCoWorker.Role.Reset();
CreepyAutistmCoWorker.Cubicle.Focus(); //send CreepyAutistmCoWorker back to thier own desk
String ToWork = "";
Return ToWork;
}

Could be off a bit, a little rusty.

>>718751076
Too true... too true :(

>>718748784
I could care less really, but I prefer when the IDE has a shortcut to auto-correct them with a set of key strokes, like Netbeans.

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>>718750850
work at a corporation, HR will be so scared of a lawsuit they will fire anyone who so much as touches you. I work in office with a female DBA and female developer, both fairly attractive - literally no one bothers them. I politely asked one of them out, she said she had a boyfriend I haven't spoken with her since other than occasional work related things.

>>718751147
Wow.. I'm glad the few i've worked with have not looked like that!

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>female
>programmer

The problem with spending so much time on make up, hair, fashion, and going out, is you don't have a solid 10 hours a day to learn the intricacies of a few million lines of shit code. Then you wonder why male programmers are isolated, poorly socialized, eager to get the attention of any fat pig of the opposite sex, and paid more.

I believe you OP. Now go quit your job "programming" html and find a nice sexy fireman with no money to knock you up.

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>>718747527

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>>718747527

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>>718751148
OP here
Now turn that into one big loop
My work life

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OP, are you Lain?

>>718751472
well. given most programmer types, honestly, attempt to wear no garment that may potentially let another programmer look down your shirt, or youll have neckbears all over your shit all day, coming up with a Google Glass and such.

Me.. I just code. I code code code. I wont even say im a GOOD programmer, but fuck it, they gave me the degree so.. I cant be that bad. Barely passed java 2, though-- fucking jsp pages / java beans are the worst thing on earth

Id rather iterate through a multidimensional loop of varying lengths.

>>718751443
Come on.. this guy is NOT a programmer...
Place is WAY to clean. No grey beard! Guessing he's an accountant...

>>718751472
so why don't you have a boyfriend?

Tell them you're a 2016 feminist, and I'm sure they'll get scared to have a file complaint about sexual harassment.

>>718751756
OP here
Who the fuck is Lain?

>>718751863
A man after my own heart... java blows...

>>718751935
Better yet, why haven't we seen tits yet?

>>718747527

three simple words "I am Lesbian"

>>718752014
It was a good learning language. I am onto better things now.

There's no gender on the internet

>>718751935
OP here
I hate clingy fucking men

>>718747527
>Hey /b/
fuck off
>Female programmer here
Nobody gives a fuckunless you show tits and timestamp or gtfo
>How do I stop my autistic co-workers from awkwardly hitting on me without starting drama
fuck them with a strap on.
>Do autist have drama?
All the time
>Pic unrelated
Pic very related you whore

>>718752329
Get the fuck out

>>718747527
Invite them over to your place and have a gangbang. That will get it out of everyone's system.

>>718748024
This

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>>718752329
wew lad. that sure is edgy

>>718750850
Hah! I'm glad I haven't had that issue yet... I work up in Canada and they are not too common.

>>718752274
>I hate men

fixed it for you hambeast.

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>>718747527
tell him that his memes sucks and that you like old hairy guys with fancy new cars...

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>>718751935

Remember, the poorly socialized programmer has quite low self esteem. Years of abuse, being laughed at as a nerd takes its toll. These sort of men are mostly afraid of beautiful women because they've had their egos crushed by them. Male programmers then will generally only approach less attractive women.

By deduction, OP has told us she's not very attractive.

>>718752567
Yes! This is it!
It will make them feel insecure before they even reach my cubicle.
I owe you anon
In return: tits. One moment

>>718752421
C u c k

>>718752776
Nice job anon. Gonna get the titties

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>>718748603

Embedded engineer/programmer here who's worked in same field as OP.

I've completed projects where I alone have written 100k lines of code that run on ARMs, DSPs, CPLDs and other uConts. Frontends, Backends, custom RTOSes, Bootloaders, Web interfaces, REST APIs, 10 kinds of OOP, your mom, your dad...you name it we do it. We even use git, agile teams, automated tests and standardized coding practices...just like "regular" programmers. And we design the hardware circuits too which requires a whole other skill set.

Embedded engineers also put up with brats telling us about how they can solve world hunger with the node and react you learned in a community college course last summer.

come out as gay

>>718752776

surely_op_will_deliver.jpg

>>718753057
called the mods, emailed moot, emailed the admin, called the cops, called the state police, called the county sheriff, called your ISP, called the District Attorney, called Interpol, called the NYPD, called the State Attorney, called the LAPD, called Child Protective Services called the FBI, called US Homeland Security, called the CIA, called the NSA, called the US Marshals, called the local courthouse, called your State Constable, called London Metropolitan Police, called the German Police, called the TSA, called the US President, called the attorney general, called the National Guard, called the US marines, called the US Navy, called the US Air Force, called the US army, called the Royal Navy, called the governor of every state, called the Federal Air Marshals, called every sheriff deputy, called the Coast Guard, called the US Customs and Border Protection, called the RCMP, called every park ranger, called the mayor of every city in France, called the British Army, called the Queen, called NATO, called the Russian Air Force, called the Federal flight deck officers, called the UN, called the Corrections Department for every state, called the Australian Federal Police, called SWAT, called the Supreme Court, called the Mexican Police, called the White House, called the DEA, called the inspector general, called the Secret Service, called CNN, called ABC, called the vice president, called the senators for every state, called congress, called the pope, called CHP, called the Department of Fish and Wildlife for every state, called the internet police, called the US Capitol Police, and called the Party Van.

>>718753336
/thread

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Holy fuck what a way to start 2017....go leak your sister or ex gf today lol - snap leak .cf

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>>718747527

That's cute she actually thinks she's a programmer.

>>718753057
if your embedded system requires more 100k lines of code you fucking suck. if by "code" you mean compiled assembly, then fuck off as well, because you didn't write each line.

>>718753988
You must not understand the definition of an embedded system. The ones I work on have well over 17 million lines of code.

>>718753057
if you're writing backends, you're obviously not an embedded engineer, you're a programmer who also does some embedded engineering

>>718747527

OP, you will have to be the bigger person. Most males in STEM got there by *not* spending all their time socializing with the objects of their affection.

I recommend you slay them with kindness. Tell them you're flattered, but you're busy or not interested. You have self-respect, so you don't need to explain yourself, make excuses or lies up. If they persist then consider talking to your manager about working on another team or project and how you can move up in the workplace - just don't walk in there and dump "so and so won't stop hitting on me" on them, cause then you WILL look like a problem/drama. Be insistent, if your manager presses you on it, just tell them you don't feel like so-and-so is helping the team. If the autist is still a problem, just put a webcam on your desktop or start recording yourself on your phone and tell the autist you're recording your day at work cause your mom is so proud of you and she wants to see how it is. They will straighten up quickly if they know they're being recorded.

>>718747755
They code well.

>>718747527
>female
>programmer
pick one

>>718748075
made me kek

>>718748365
Maybe they just want to be friends you self righteous bung hole

>>718747527
You got in on affirmative action. The price you pay for this is getting hit on by guys who actually earned the right to be there.

>>718748163
Wrong motherfucker. This is an advice thread and belongs on >>>/adv/, not on /b/.

She should definitely be posting tits in exchange for attention.

>>718747527
>voted for clinton

let them clearly know that male presence triggers you and that you're gonna sue them for psychological damage.

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Did you cut bitches forget the rules. Bunch of fucking new fags. No reply until tits and time stamp.

>>718754547
cunt. EVERYTHING belongs on /b/

>>718747527
Thread is funny. I had coworkers who had to deal with that. Report one to HR for sexual harrasment. They will stop all that shit fast. Bad part is everyone has to do sexual harrasment training. Good part is it's on the clock and easier than coding haha.

Hey OP, only competent AND attractive female programmer that I work with has initials S.-M. G.

Is that you?

>>718748232
Nah, because he has one.

>>718755032
watch out for this one op

Anienka, is that you?

easy, just make them think you're interested in them and say something along the line to each and every single god damn one of them "I think you're kind of cute, but you're not cute when you're talking to me" or something. Make them think they're hitting on your by not hitting on you, beware though, you might be getting some weird flirty looks from afar.

As a person with autism, the best way to get rid of a person like me is to make yourself as unattractive to a person like myself as possible. Meaning outside the workplace, they are dead to you. They are dumb, but they are not stupid. Enough of the silent treatment and they will get the hint.

for an actual answer for op, tell them honestly, be an adult. if there's gonna be drama youre in the wrong building

Lisa Nguyen is that you ?

>>718748642
anyone who talks about lines of code without irony is a fucking moron and/or a manager

Look at all the poor little autistic programers seeing if that's her dream girl...

Women are the inferior gender in everything. Not just at strength and IQ but at everything and that's a fact. Look it up if you don't believe me.

Hi! Few things to start off with =]

1. Yes, i'm replying because you're a female programmer on 4chan, 'tis an awesome thing to see!

2. I'm Brian.

3. Don't be intimidated, but I'm not a stereotypical guy. If anything, I'll be the one in the kitchen =D.

>>718755353
Somone has mommy issues

>>718755401
Prove me wrong.

>>718747527

Male programmer here, fuck off, you're ugly anyway.

>>718748296

I know people that started small companies by making pretty big programs on their own. Also, on their own is never 100% on "your own" even the best read papers on related topics, visit forums etc.

>>718755360
stop it.

>>718755154

> they will get the hint

Or they will become a rapey-stalker...

>>718747527
hey op, non autistic VP of IT here....basically I just tell my staff that dating is for outside the office, that way I can hire autistic fucks and hot women and everything in between to get the job done. I've had to fire a few people for sexual harassment to get my point across so basically nobody gets out of line now.

>>718747527

...Get a boyfriend? Im available. Heh heh.

Or talk to HR, but when has that ever worked? Just grow a backbone and just tell them you arent interested if the flirting is extremely obvious and constant.

>>718756201
HR works double when it's a question of female employee retention.

OP here

Just wanted to let you knwo that im not even attractive, i'm very fat and i smell like poopoo hehe

>>718756300
I'd so bang.

>>718748296
Have written systems hundreds of thousands of LOC myself. Takes a long time but you don't have to deal with other retards' broken shit.

>>718756300
well if you re fat and smell like shit, then WHY are you so sure guys are hitting on you? Maybe they're just polite, or need to talk to you about work. Could it be you're doing a little projection over there in the work place?

>>718756457
dude what ru taking about u like to talked a very lot of shit bro well late see ware u are from u might be brock bout gusy what i leave day by day what about u are a brock ass bitch that what u are

>>718747527
get married, most of the programmer bros understand systems and you being married takes you off the market.

Just make a fake paid report stating you have AIDS or some shit, Hit back on one colleague but tell him about the disease, will spread itself, noone will bat an eye.

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https://youtu.be/RMrd0w9BKQw

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>>718757141
>>718748961

Daaaaaaamn I'd pop an element off your stack any day