/b/, am I going crazy? I keep getting this extreme panic when

You're fine. Eventually you'll grow up and realize everyone has to die at some point, then you'll actually do something productive with your time besides shitpost on /b/

>>718615796

I don't do much shitposting these days, I've been productive, mostly to avoid having to think about existing at all.

>>718616123
Well be even more productive and stop being a faggot, no one cares about your shitty adolescent opinions on life.

>>718616382

I am 21.

>>718615588
we've all been through existential crisis before anon, your'e not special and your'e not the only one going through that state of mind. eventually you'll accept it and come to terms with it

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>>718616735
>21
>thinks hes all grown up

Ha

>>718615588
Sorry that's just the realization some people get.

Ever since I was 6 or 7 I would get scared of what happens after I die, at first I sought for an afterlife to comfort me, but found that even an eternal existence is frightening to try to envision. There's no way eternity could be that great no matter how it's spent, and similarly, dying and losing all sensation and consiousness entirely is spooky as a bitch

Just keep distracting yourself

Yeah that happens. Just ask yourself this question : I follow the true God or do I follow the devil? It will help you instead of being in the middle, it will also give you a purpose.

>>718617162
But that doesn't even matter

Any afterlife would get boring

>>718616910

I never implied that, I was merely stating I am not an adolescent.

>>718616849

What's with you guys thinking I believe myself to be a special snowflake? I am just stating this shit is freaking me out, nothing else.

Seriously, bunch of fags.

>>718617404
Not when that afterlife is Valhalla

>>718617532
Holy shit

>>718615796
Dont listen to him op, this is an example of someones viel who hasnt been lifted

>>718615588
double dubs! youre definitely not real

If you go to deep you will have to create a delusion in order to remain a functional member of what you were doing with society in the past, or continue to do... I like to think of myself and everyone as a vessel, things come in and things go out.

>>718616382
Productivity is a want of human reproduction, not a need.

>>718617819

Truly, I've seen now that identity is an illusion. It's like realizing you're a robot, albeit an organic one. I can't fucking deal with the anxiety this shit is causing me.

>>718618139
Is the anxiety about death it's self, or responsibility?

Sounds like derealisation.

Common in bi-polars, people who suffer from ptsd, or borderline personality disorder. A lot of people sometimes confuse it for the kind of... disassociation (for lack of a better word) reached by meditation.

People who have recently experienced something traumatic or disturbing to them in some way can experience it awhile after the experience as well. Like a car crash or something. If it's been part of your life for more than a couple months, you might want to consider treatment. Meds might take the edge off.

>>718618305

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Derealization
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Derealization

>>718617751
I've accepted death as just another part of life so it's nothing for me to worry about or fear. My time will come when it comes, same as everyone else.

>>718618305
Don't do meds, trust me it's easier to figure out these things for yourself.

>>718618234

Neither, is anxiety about observing myself and the world around me, recognizing I ''exist''. It feels like this all is too fucking crazy to be really happening. A fear of life, I guess.

I understand it doesn't make sense, I know it must be the panic attack making me feel this way, but fuck, just looking at the screen while I type this is making the feeling of unrealness take over me and it feeds more anxiety into it.

>>718617404
" It doesn't even matter" . Look kid, you either understand or you don't. Kill people or help them.trust me,.I am ANON

I've been through the same thing at the exact age. I thought I would never get out of that, I had to get some anxiety relievers for about two months then it got gradually better. At first I got mini panic attacks when thinking about it, now I just avoid the issue as there is no means to trying going any deeper, it's just a downward spiral. Sometimes I start to think about that stuff and I have to immerse myself into reality to distract myself but right now (about 4 years later) I'd say I'm kinda ok. Previously everything seemed empty and devoid of meaning and I had the same realizations you had - everything seemed so bizarre and exactly as you said: surreal. What sometimes takes me back are fucking dreams, they are fucking spooky. I'm not talking about nightmares with creepy skeletons, just bizare dreams about places far far away and absurd developments basically. It's also what got me thinking at first I believe, when I was 12-13 and I started to think seriousy about the meaning of existence. I got totally spooked by those kinds of dreams but everything felt kind of self contained. Then once you dig into the infinite layers of existence you start to get really spooked because it's not anymore a life problem which is just pertaining your own finite life but it's a universal - eternal - recursive problem you can't even consider wrapping your head around. the fact that we are here right now - means something had to exist since forever. but what is time?
and one of the most chilling realizations
we're here, but here where?

>>718616382
>be productive
>make money
>buy things
>have children
You're as close as it gets from being empty and dull, better be mad than being like you.

>>718618361
I second this. Shit's intensive. I did an in depth paper on this and dissociative identity disorder.
Just talk it out, find someone you trust. 4chan isn't the place to come, 99% of the time you'll just be called a nigger.

>>718618139
Then how about this:
>On a galactic scale your existence means fuckall.
>Your existence only matters within the microcosm of your friends and family and should they die once you are dead and gone no one will know you ever lived. Like you never lived at all.
Unless you do something noteworthy no one will know of you when you are dead. Get Cracking at it.

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>>718618647
Successful? Stay mad faggot. I've earned what little I have through hard work and determination, and that makes me happy.

>>718618547
Reasonably, ask yourself a question of what would happen if you did something?
i.e. What if I were sitting on the floor?
What would happen or how would it feel to sit outside?
What if you were to dig a hole in the dirt next to you while you sit outside.
You will hopefully know what it will be like or somewhat what it will be like to do these things, but if you actually go do them and they are different from what you expected, like you find something in the dirt that you didn't expect, then you are in a real world. If there is ever anything that is unexpected you are in reality, hopefully, unless there is something blocking that type of thinking.

>>718615588
Wait it out. Unless, you have the secret to the meaning of life. You will never be able to answer w/e questions triggered your fear.

>>718615588
You simply stumbled on the reason so many people embrace religion. Let it go, and move on. No, it won't be that simple, but you'll stop thinking about it at some point.

>>718618516

That's fine, too! As long as the person knows what's happening. That it's common for all sorts of people. And that meditation can sometimes make things worse if they don't work things out first.

>>718618887
I got caught in a nasty one where I believed the exact opposite to be true: That unexpected things were a part of a fake delusional reality, I don't recommend it.

>>718618833

I don't care about being remembered, I don't fear death. What's scares me is fucking living.


>>718618591

So, I suppose with time the mind does it's own job of adaptation to anything? Sooner or later, back under the leash of my own biology, I feel fucking trap in my skin, and that's just a mere illusion.

Jesus fucking christ.

>>718618305
>>718618361

Harsh times to seek help right now, and I've had it before. But it's like I forgot about all of it and now suddenly it came back.

>>718618887

I don't think I am hallucinating right now, but I am sure this anxiety is definitely fucking up with my capacity to think rationally to some extend, I just wish I could calm down, embrace it and move on, but it just won't stop.

>>718618793
that's true, nigger

>>718618591
cont:
make sure you get good sleep at night but don't oversleep too much or you'll get dragged down into very spoopy shit when you dream
one night at the peak of it i was fucking staring at the moon at a loss of words because everything seemed so bizarre, as it should be
being human and being in this world is only regular once you get the hang of it. if you strain hard enough, you can get back to the state of not being used to some concepts again. you can rethink issues like natural instincts you have, social constructs, up to deeper layers
but that is not surely going to help is it?
just think of this: the same thoughts you created by yourself are part of the reality you are stuck into
they are as bizarre as the rest
if you really consider eternal existence, you can consider you have always had the same thoughts and nothing changed in any way, be it time or space or dimensions we don't /can't know in our state. so there is no point arguing further - each time we can only enjoy one piece of reality. No point in getting freaked out - just let it settle and come to the point where you understand it doesn't change anything.

>>718619613
Find a repetitive task to sink into, it could be anything as long as you choose to do it, maybe it will allow you to.

Something like drawing lines on a sheet of paper, or typing out the alphabet.

>>718615588
take drugs

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>>718615588
Watch this movie.

>>718618874
And you'll end up as a ragged whore lying in bem after a bukkakke marathon and in when you're gazing into the abyss of death you'll be making the exact fucking questions being debated in this thread right now, but I'll answer what will happen after you die: your existence will be erased, all your achievments and sucess too, your family, if you have one, after looting and dividing what used to be yourself will remember you on your birthday, sometimes, all your existence and life's work will be sum up as you working 80 years so your kin can buy a new television and some toilet paper.

>>718620575
After I'm dead my children will benefit from what I built for them. Be mad faggot, you're just selfish.

>>718620575
Either that or be a historical figure, how often is Hitler mentioned on a daily basis, of course no one probably knew who he actually was as a person to that deep level, or someone else from history like Socrates.

>>718619613
>So, I suppose with time the mind does it's own job of adaptation to anything? Sooner or later, back under the leash of my own biology, I feel fucking trap in my skin, and that's just a mere illusion.
yeah adaptation gets you through like nature got you through existence. It is normal to feel trapped when you are in that condition and keep thinking about how trapped you are - but thinking you are trapped or not does not change anything, there is no liberation, i believe.
what would getting free even mean? you could think of death but that just shuts down your consciusness, and it's not a solution to the existence problem. Just embrace this new feeling you are feeling as a new experience in your existence, no point in fighting anything at all. After all, everything is so bizarre, everything seems like a dream.
Keep repeating yourself this thing:
the issues you are thinking about right now have been produced by your mind through the experience of this bizarre existence. as a result, they can only be as surreal as the rest - like when you wake up from a dream and you go like "where was the logic in what i was thinking in that stupid dream?"
your/our concept of logic as we know it only applies in this instance of existence, not to the whole of it. So your issues and thoughts are shut down with it - everything you thought is experience you get from outside and only such experience will give you new thoughts.
So remember: 1 there is no point in arguing, 2 you cannot argue in a completely abstract way about things you cannot give any thought to

Now to help you coping with your anxiety, once you start having thoughts just dismiss them as intrusive/uninvited thoughts. Immerse yourself into something you really like - what actually helped me was going back to stuff i liked as a boy such as miniature painting and stuck to it a bit. Try to be around people as much as possible and avoid being alone too much. Don't listen to depressing music such as sigur ros

>>718619783

It's going to take a lot of effort for me to just embrace this and move on, sitting down and breathing while observing myself feel like I am going insane is fucking bizarre.

I wish I could go to sleep, but lying down on the bed is the worst part. I know that even when I fall asleep, I'll be having one nightmare after another.


>>718619970

I've been learning how to draw and play the piano to take my mind off it, works wonders but today I just couldn't control it.

>>718620141

I believe Salvia Divinorum is what partly caused me to start feeling like this, 4 years ago. I got over it, and now it's coming back.

>>718620327

I've done it, back when I first began having this feelings. I also watched Numb.

I remember watching this veteran who had been to Afghanistan talk about how the first bullet shot by the enemy in the beginning of a 4 hour firefight. The bullet apparently just missed his head by like a few inches. And he kept talking about how, afterward, his mind would force him to obsess over those few inches, about the angle of deviation from his head. How his life was determined by random chance. And how everybody on his team had stories like that, and his war buddies, all having experienced the same thing, helped him come to grips with the kind of thoughts he had.

He had even talked about how some of his buddies who left the military had a way harder time adjusting. It was because they didn't have the 'brotherhood' or whatever. They didn't have those people in their lives with common experiences. If they're alone they have no one to bounce off of-- to help anchor them to a purpose, despite the pointlessness.

>>718621156
>I've been learning how to draw and play the piano to take my mind off it, works wonders but today I just couldn't control it.
>Salvia Divinorum

How did you get over it before? Or why did you need to get over it?

>>718621051
Go look some funny anime such as the new dragon ball series. Cheering up helps a lot. The point is: you are at the point where nothing is catching your attention enough to distract you. So start finding distraction, once something gives you a feeling of distraction start focusing on that feeling more and start asking yourself what else could give you the same feeling. I found that immersing myself in stuff i used to love like games and animes helped a lot.
>>718621156
I see what you mean, falling to sleep was the worst part for me also - i was afraid of dreams and sleeping and mostly the worse thought came right before sleeping. But let me tell you i understand exactly what you mean and i mean word by word. I was really scared because what i kept thinking about was: i could convince anyone in the world we should worry about our existence and nothing would literally change in our existence - there is noone that could help me etc. Only you can help yourself.
I found my bad feelings were also connected to how i felt burdened from society and becoming adult - you just need to stop caring about it and all the constructs we uselessly build in our mind and get back with your mind to when you was a child and everything got your attention and you wanted to experience whatever you wanted. this is why "going back to the old pleasures" helped me so much.
Also please do not worry about going insane, it's just anxiety. Going insane is hearing voices.. think about how lucky we are when we consider we are living a stable existence!

Oh man don't worry bro I know exactly how this feels. Even worse this all happened while I was on LSD my god, that was the worst trip I ever had. At first I could feel myself become anxious then it started growing and growing till I was tripping badly. Simply questioning who I was, what it mean to be conscious, looking at myself in the mirror, it was surreal. I could not wrap my head around it and that's what scared me the most. Not knowing how things came to be, how much different we are compared to other animals. How much we have evolved, everything that has went down in history and now here I am becoming history every second I am alive. It really scared me and I was really changed after that. Much more aware that I was actually alive and it definitely felt like it was not real at all. After a while though after my last trip I kind of came to see that it didn't matter, it didn't freak me out anymore, I simply saw it as an amazing gift from the universe, or god. I say if we're alive then just simply enjoy it, in the future you'll start to really enjoy the feeling of being conscious with or without drugs. I'm 16 dude, haven't lived long at all but I am constantly learning and just enjoying life. It gets better man

>>718615588
existential crisis

everyone with a brain faces this

its like basically:
>the universe: hey how you doin'?
>you: well i uh wa-
>screen goes black

we are a shot in the dark and thats it bro

I have the same shit op. Went to therapy for it, and started doing Mindfulness Meditation. It's helped me so much, definitely recommend looking into it. Also try going to therapy, it might not help the immediate problem, but it'll help your outlook on your own life.

>>718621833
I like this perspective, I've experienced very similar things, it is better to embrace feelings / thoughts, things were ok before, now and most likely will be in the future.

>>718621602

I've been asking myself this question a lot, and I can't remember all the details. I vaguely remember the first months being hell on Earth, and me constantly seeking anything that would cure me.

I found this guy on youtube called ''BigNoKnow'' that had the same issues as me, and found a cure by using testosterone injections. In my desperation I decided to give it a try without the doc's advice and it made me feel very good about life, had energy, confidence, build some muscle and I had a constant sense of well being. I decided to stop the testosterone, and although I felt a bit empty inside, I never experienced depersonalization again. Until now.

I don't know how much of all of that was placebo, but it certainly was part of getting over it. but it's all so fucking fuzzy... I mostly remember the darkness of the night, and the feeling of desperation and dispair, and the contrast of good feelings testosterone caused.


I am fucking lost.

>>718621797
It was meant as a cont to my previous ramblings.
One of my biggest issues was having noone with the same exact kind of anxiety i had - my parents and friends kept telling me yeah i understand i often think about existence and in eed to stop thinking about it but i felt even more scared because it was like they were trying to swat me out of it and i didn't feel understood. talking to you helps me out also because i often get on /b/ existential threads and noone thinks about the same experience you are having, which is the same i had.
i just kept thinking about the layers and layers of existence and how i am in a fucking random layer in a fucking random position on the fuking layer.
what the fuck?
then my brain kind of got used to it, i believe it's a different way of seeing things, to put it simply. Some people may not go like the same process as you and me did - some people may have issues more focused with religion, some may experience their crisis once in a while, etc.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mMRrCYPxD0I

>>718621602

>Or why did you need to get over it?

Because I felt terrified 24/7. I felt I was going insane and I was trapped forever. My memory was so bad, I would forget where I was and why. I remember lying in my bed, trying to sleep and literally feeling like I was not in my room anymore, but living on the top of a dark tower in another world. It was all very abstract and bizarre, I suppose it was the anxiety.

>>718622245
As another cont: i never took any drug so the sullen realizations came all at a time just randomly by thinking about a number of things in a particularly boring moment of my life. I don't believe it's linked to drugs but maybe you are getting some effect since you STOPPED using drugs

>>718622190
The light but heavy answer is that there must be something else to find that will be as good as whatever you are using (testosterone) but be your own. It doesn't even have to be a chemical, it could be anything, as long as it is yours and you find it rewarding or stimulating, the reward of an action.
Here is some rambling, but when you were younger weren't the acts of doing things rewarding? Like: I bet I can jump off that merry go round and live to tell the tale? Find something that is as fun as that.

>>718615588
what u feel op is the reason religions exist and scam people since forever

>>718622475
i dont really believe anything he is saying. just another person who claims to know what happens when we die.

sad but true.

>>718622739
exactly what i was suggesting, go back to simple stuff which makes you satisfied.

>>718622572
I've felt that before, but I still sort of do at times, my short term is not as good as it used to be, but my long term is amazing as long as I get enough sleep. I couldn't sleep for 3 or 4 days, at that point I got desperate.
>>718622921
This is the right idea, it takes courage to get there, but it's worth it.

Op here, I am sorry if I don't respond to some of you, I feel disoriented and confused right now. I will be saving this thread and reading throughout the responses.

Thank you for keeping me distracted and offering advice.


>>718622475

I've been through this before, watching this video. I never thought I could feel like awaking up twice.

This truly feels like some kind of terrible joke.

>>718622739

Hopefully soon I'll have to money to try out new things, maybe that will help me out with this, and be a good excuse to get out of my room. I am alone most of the time, so that definitely can't help.

>>718622761
I understand why someone would wish to take refuge in all knowing, loving being. I guess.

>>718615588
Philosophical*

>>718622891
The important part is "you are all others". i don't see how this can be objected as we are effectively part of everything.
The part that scared me the most was how people kept telling me "yeah anon everyone is afraid about what happens before life and after we die" the point is as op here i was afraid of literally any concept which is part of existence and how everything is possible and the notion of time is just a construct of our minds while we are stuck in some of the dimensions which exist.
so the point is not what happens before and after but how can we relate to all this mess around and inside us? the guy in the video just uses the simpler metaphore of life before and after death just to appeal to a vast audience and to be positive and not cause too much disconcert in the listener. essentially what he thinks is: well you are part of everything, just remember it, and remember how everything exists and is totally complex and unbelievable. and how we are seeing just an insignificant part of everyhing which is basically infinite in every possible way, yet we are miraculously "here" at "this moment" experiencing all of this and this seems like a bubble to us where we are shut in forcibly and that is what makes us scared - the fact that we have no links to the outside of our current experience. But the point is, we think our connection must be in terms of memory or physical contact - but it's not, we are connected to everything in every possible way for the simplest reason of all, since we simply exist. So one should just really come to terms with the fact that this is just an experience and we should consider any experience as unique. After all, to put it in "time" terms, we survived infinity since forever and will continue to live into infinity forever. It may seem scary but as there are scary moments there are also beautiful moments, and all scary moments have passed and many beautiful moments are coming

>>718615588
you haven't taken drugs take some they will calm you down

>>718623516
I'm stuck in the same situation sort of being in my room all the time, but that was necessary for fixing past blunders of psychiatry, medications, and drugs. This is different for everyone but you don't need money to do things, all it takes is motivation. Personally I could sit here and cut a log in half with a pocketknife if I was motivated to, and it would probably be fun, but my arm would be sore for a while.

>>718623944
learn to use paragraph breaks, nigga

that shit is tough to read. motherfucker.

>>718615588
That's because none of it is real.
You're a biomachine in a psychosis that's memetically transferred.
The entire breadth of human consciousness is a virtual process. All of it, your self, your society, everything is made up and only exists because people believe it exists and act accordingly.

But being able to recognize that and separate yourself from it shouldn't be cause for alarm. Nihilism is liberating. It doesn't mean everything is purposeless. It means we are the creators of purpose.

So far in your life you have followed prepared instructions like most others and just now you are beginning to realize you can create your own (and others', btw)

It's all a dream in the end, but it's the only one we got. It's the closest thing we have to "reality." And being able to recognize it as a construct should be empowering. It means you can alter it, influence it.

You can simply superimpose your own. You can change your relationships with "people" by changing your dynamic with them to fit what you want them to be, and they will subconsciously adapt to follow your will. You can focus your time and energy on any goal to influence the material world, and as long as you maintain that focus for however long it takes, you are almost unlimited in your ability to change it.

You're now beginning to realize that truly, physically, there is no such thing as gods, or even personalities. But this doesn't mean there are no gods. It means we are our own.

>>718623239
>>718622921

I've taken some Diazepan I found lying around, I feel calmer now although the vague sense of uneasiness remains. Tomorrow, I will continue to focus on drawing/learning music which is something I've always wanted to learn and it definitely keeps my mind off this at the same time it helps me feel better that I am not being entirely unproductive.

I want to try to meditate again, but it scares me that even when I attempt to embrace the way I feel, it merely continues on and on. I'd hope for some comfort, but it doesn't seem to occur.


What bothers me about this most of all is the fact that I've been eating healthy, exercising and sleeping well. So I feel there's truly little I can do right now to improve my mental health besides patience.

>>718617498
/b/ is full of wannabe kids, don't give a fuck about them

It's normal what you're going through, it will eventually pass

You could seek a professional opinion though

I feel detached from the rest of the world, i fall asleep to the though of killing myself, i feel almost as if i'm a budding psychopath as i think about terrible things that no one else thinks about, i want to get help, but i don't as i fear others will judge me, i have recurring dreams about killing myself.

>>718615588
It's pretty easy to understand if you look at it from a religious point of view. "You" is your soul. You're just inside of a body that you don't really have a lotta control over if you think about it. Your body is a vehicle that runs well for a while then gets old and beat up and dies just like a car. That's not you though, that's just the vehicle you're stuck going through life with. The real question is why are you here, and everyone has a different answer to that. My answer is you are here for a short time (because what's 80 years compared to the rest of eternity) as an initiation period to the afterlife. Your life is gonna suck for the most part to see how you deal with it. If you continue to follow the rules and don't lose faith, then you get rewarded with an eternity in Heaven. If you choose not to participate, then you don't get to join the club.

Patience is one of the most important things in life. Hold on. It will be rewarding.

>>718615588
>when you have a tumor in your head that's fucking with you

>>718624963

What?

if you're still around, these guys are right. stop telling yourself that meditation doesn't help because the purpose of it is to negate association with suffering. you literally just need to be yourself because it's all you can be hehe :^)

>>718624441
>>718624067
I almost like the idea of doing this now, but is the reason so I can look at all the dust and wood chips and try to focus on my thought pattern of where I was thinking when I cut into the log, or is the reason to have 2 smaller pieces of wood out of a bigger piece of wood. I could just save the extra chips and look at them and sprinkle them like confetti, and at this point the amount of energy putting into it isn't worth it to me, because I think I may have done something similar to this in the past. Personally I don't like repeating myself, so maybe you can find something that you as a person have as a piece of yourself ?

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>>718623944
>I understand why someone would wish to take refuge in all knowing, loving being. I guess.
Cont for op.
another suggestion about things you can do is: start learning something, download a book about something you enjoy and just read whatever you want. it's the same as going back to your childish guilty pleasures; when one is a child he is really existing to learn stuff continuously. For example my peak in the crisis was when i finished my bachelor's degree and i was waiting to start the master's. For whatever reason my brain started working on its own on recognizing abstract patterns related to existence problems instead of the mathematical problems i was used to study, as abstract as they may be.
So i belive learning gives a big payoff in terms of mind satisfaction - it helps tiring your mind and after getting through a tough problem or similar you won't have mental strength to go through all that existential stuff again.
>>718624441
just be careful about the drugs you are taking. i am no psychiatrist but side effects come when NOT taking pills after you used them - so you should GRADUALLY stop taking them with the suggested dosage.
I personally was doing ok in terms of eating and exercising, the only bad habit was sleeping very late because as i said i did not have to wake up to go to university or study. i still actually have issues in sleeping always at the same time but i believe it's not a focal issue.

But yes keep practicing patience and keep studying new stuff like music. Do mindful things which allow you to concentrate also on your physical feelings like playing an instrument. But also do simple stuff which gives immediate satisfaction without tiring your mind like watching anime and tv series. You can and will find solace once you become mindful about what really feel like doing!

>>718625022
YOU HEARD ME

>>718615588
It's a partial understanding. Keep reaching for truth and you will understand your life. Look where answers are found, believe nothing. You are not alone.

>>718624375
Underrated post

>>718615588
Dude I have a trick here. So yesterday I was cleaning out the carburetor on my motorcycle, and some carburetor cleaner shot up and got behind my safety glasses. As I actually went temporarily blind I stumbled around trying to find my way out of the garage to the water spicket. I'll tell you what man if you wanna make sure you're alive and you wanna feel something spray some carburetor cleaner in your eye. Works every time.

Thanks for the help guys, I appreciate it. It all feels like a nightmare, but you and the diazepan are helping taking the edge off it.

I hope I can plummet soon, I really don't want to think anymore.

>>718625636
I don't believe he should go any further at the moment - he should let his current state sink in for some time then his mind will slowly process and come to terms with it then he will be able to warp the understanding into whatever is fitting. once i went through my crisis i personally started seeing life and all its chores in a lighter way and i fell less anxious about any real life problem - i'm only really concerned about the safety and well being of me and my loved ones - the rest is not important. So that may be "my own" meaning.

>>718625995
Ok but make sure you tire your mind on something else!

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>all these long ass replies for babby's first Sartre

>>718626276
It's possible for someone's to never end.

>>718626276
And who are you to call him a baby? First what? Ah, thought so

Mothercunt.

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I agree with the other guy on this board. I think you've got Depersonalization/derealization.

Now that's nothing to be too scared of. There are grounding techniques you can try (just touch something and describe the texture in your head) and counseling, either from friends or professionals. But on a more personal level, I want to tell you about my experiences with this.

Basically I had an incredibly strong wede candy and tripped out in a really shitty way. After that I began to wonder how I really knew that I, or the world around me, was even real.

Of course, like you, I thought I was going insane or schizophrenic. I could barely focus on anything in the real world, and my memories of the past as well as the people around me seemed fake somehow.

What I'm getting at is is that you're not alone. You aren't insane. And this won't last forever. You just have some hard questions to ask yourself.

I suggest formal counseling or a church. I wouldn't say anyone can have the exact answers you personally need, but making an effort to actively engage in others and improve your life will help immensely. This time of your life is about bettering yourself, and slowly living up to this new standard you've discovered, however you decide to do it.

I knew you have a lot on your mind and it can be intimidating, but I hope I helped.

>>718615588
You have three choices
Be grateful for the life you have be a fake or real , show your gratitude by doing something with your life

an hero

Accept the ennui, dread and bitterness of living out an existence in which you find no merit or meaning , simply to assuage your curiosity of knowing what the prize in the crackerjack box is

WHEN U DIE IT ALL JUST RESTARTS OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER LAYRERS SIMULATION AHHHHH FUUUUUCK ITS HPNING AGAIN AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

>>718626589
>What I'm getting at is is that you're not alone. You aren't insane.
What I'm getting at is is that you're not alone. You aren't insane.

or you're just both insanitary

>>718615588
please keep in mind at all times that every relation, be it external, internal, whatever, is a mere construction of your mind. it may sound trivial but what you think is really just thoughts. thinking about consciousness does not reveal what it really is. identifying your perceptions to be a lie is not correct. they are what they are: perceptions and if you want to find what is there without the subjective modification you won't succeed because you will always want to imagine what it "looks like" or "smells, tastes, feels... like" - thus in order to get a glimpse of "reality" you want that which modifies "objective reality"... that's not possible mate. dont focus so much on impressions and dont mix up feelings and thoughts too much. if you want to think, find structures because they are to a certain extent conserved throughout the perceptive process. but thinking isn't even that important, just make sure you feel good in the first place and then start discovering structures.

>>718626474
What?

>>718626589
You helped a lot motherfucker, you were just high all along

>>718615588
That's just existential dread. I think everyone will have existential crises once in their lives, unless they're tards. It's natural to obsess over the weight of life. Just try not to think about it too much. Put your mind on other things. Also nice dub dubs.

>>718626589
>This time of your life is about bettering yourself, and slowly living up to this new standard you've discovered, however you decide to do it.
Alright this is an important point op. Don't think you are ever going to get that new ideas you found out of your mind, you are just going to adapt to those new "foundings" like when you was a kid you discovered people die and you just came to terms with it. It's only natural like we adapt to everything else. I also suggest a visit to a psychiatrist to give you the correct prescription to help you get through this phase. Believe me it's more common than you believe and light anxiolytics really help relieving the issue. Once you go through this, in a few years you will get ashamed of how you let yourself get fooled so much by your own self and how you was so weak to get scared by such obvious things!

>>718626937
Depending on someone's choices it's possible for a conclusion to never happen.

>>718627099
it's not only existential dread unfortunately - if you look to later comments you'll see symptoms of derealization
he really should do a visit to a professional - one was enough for me

>>718626820
kekd

really cuz im going to shoot up my fucking school soon cuz of it
just you watch

>>718627285
Sweet. I still have no idea what you're talking about.

>>718627328
cancer

>>718627357
u havin a giggle m8?

>>718627112
dont EVER take meds, resolve this issue by yourself - that way you'll grow naturally.

>>718626908
True post.

Is it difficult to imagine a glass not as a glass but something else? I know that I could pour beer into it, but it's difficult to think I couldn't.

>>718627502
he has been taking strong recreational drugs and medical drugs so it's too late to never take meds.
but yeah, the psychiatrist i went to just gave me some really really light anxiolytic which basically helped me relax for about two weeks, that's it. It's not a permanent treatment.
He should NOT on the other hand take drugs by himself without specific prescription like he's doing now.

>>718627463
Discovering whatever needs to be discovered for a solution to happen.

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>>718615588
You are just a brain though.
Think about it.
You are "sensing" the words in this screen right now but not really "seeing" it directly. The sound you are "hearing" is just a chemical reaction as well. You are not a human, you are a brain experiencing reality quite literally in a mobile vat.

You are a prisoner to your skull. To the chemical machinations of the neurological noise that is you, made up of atoms fused together by stars millions of years ago. You are the universe experiencing itself.

Is it real?

Is it a dream?

>>718627969

Nah, it's superman.

>>718627969
What are colors? What is the difference between orange and green?

>>718615588

I get this as well sometimes. Once I year it terrifies me for a few days. Now that I am 24 it happens more often and I have a constant awareness of it and I cannot sleep as well. But it still only hits me super hard every few months. Hang in there man...just distract yourself for a bit

>>718628083
like the one in the movies xD

>>718627969
You're not a brain.
You're a process running inside a brain.
Big difference. For one thing, the first option actually physically exists.

>>718627524
and that it is difficult to think you couldn't is not even due to your knowledge of natures principles which would reveal that you can but due to your intuitive approach to reality predicting motion based on form and experience, i.e. through your perceptions - and that works quite well right? so although your perceptions subjectively modify what the source sends, some structures MUST be conserved because otherwise we couldn't AT ALL interact in a structured way with our surroundings and WOULD NEVER succeed with a plan on purpose - let alone plans wouldn't even make sense... but they do. we know the structures so well that we act exploiting very complex structures on a daily basis in a very natural manner. so don't worry bout this reality concerns stuff...

>>718628212
wow deep, just like in the movies xD

>>718615588
i think your problem is that your an extremely huge faggot

>>718628490
wow you're tough, just like in the movies xD

>>718628217
This is actually hilarious if you try to imagine someone in this state put into this current reality.

I could imagine having no plan, or maybe one single plan to go off and accomplish, but it would still require much simpler structures to base it on, possibly if I were born on drugs and spoon fed everything it may be possible to actually experience something like this but very difficult.

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>>718628490
Moment anon looks back at himself

>>718615588
OP you can talk to me about anything if you want

Can you even do your work properly with this problem?

>>718619970
>induce autism

>>718620821
>believing historical figures are remembered in a comprehensive and accurate fashion.

>>718628822
If your survival is taken care of it would work to behave in a way that has no basis in real sensory information.

I'm thinking someone with autism will make decisions still based on straightforward real perceptions of reality.

>>718628146
You too hang in there - I too have this constant awareness but it only actually scared me at some points until one year ago at most. Just when i was 24 like you. This might be the good year for you then!

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>>718615588
Eat shrooms.
Read Kafka.

truthfullt this just means you are smarter and more curious than the NORMIES, REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

>>718622475
funny thing was, for all his supposed enlightenment, Alan Watts was a sad alcoholic.

>>718615588
Here are some movies that reveal esoteric truths:
The Truman Show
Groundhog Day
Dark City
They Live
Wizard of Oz
Fight Club

Recommended for those who can tell something is up with the world we live in. There are people who do know what's really going on, and they are at the very top of the power structures that control our society.

>>718628632
what are you guys meaning with structures here? i lost you when you said start thinking about structures

>>718629487
so what did you come up with? do you have any idea of what those power structures plans are?

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>>718615588
A.) take up a religion that supports the idea of afterlife, or reincarnation, or something else to cling to when you begin to think about how little you've accomplished in the grand scheme of things
B.)grow some fuckin balls u faget

Don't only meditate. Read some philosophy. It's scary but chances are until you've studied none of your ideas are unique and they have been explored in depth before.

Start with some buddhist shit, it sounds like that's what you're on about right now

>>718630127
no, actually this sartre guy was right...

>>718630127
Thus Spoke Zarathustra
Also Marcus Aurelius' "Meditations."

I think they should make both mandatory starting in late elementary.

>>718615588
Get off your ass and do what our species has been doing for the last 200 million years either procreate or contribute something for the advancement of your species, find a cure for cancer or something faggot.

>>718629734

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>>718615588
Good to talk about this shit anon. Personally I don't find it anxiety-causing at all, but fucking fascinating to discuss.

Where's the trouble coming from? Existentialist queries don't have to be anxiety ridden.

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I went through the same thing it sounds like it wasn't drugs it was just thinking beyond my conciousness level, you play with the razors edge of sanity if you you so, I was messed up for about 3 years, it all just went away though September 25 of last year I can't explain how or why but all the fear and anxiety I was tortured with of why or how do I and the universe exist, turned into love, if I shouldn't exist rationally, then being able to exist and enjoy life is a miracle.

There's two songs by this artist that helped me out a lot, he read my own mind to me with them, they're called the dive pt1&pt2 by eyedea and abilities

Part one describes the fear and anxiety and part 2 describes the love it took a long time for me to be able to exist on part 2s level but I've never felt anything as amazing as being free from that fear, look up the lyrics if anything I'm Fucking serrious they'll help you out

lemme tell you mate, if you're looking for the purpose of life, 4chan is not the fucking place LMAO

>>718615588
About a week ago op I had a really bad acid trip. I thought that I stopped existing and that my life was actually one big acid trip and I was going to do nothing but simply exist for the rest of eternity in the house I was in, and that there was no point in existing, that this was all a lie and there really is no point, we're existing only because we believe we should, but really there is no point at all. It was the worst feeling I've ever experienced. This was only my second bad trip ever on acid but for some reason the bad trips are always connected to each other in some way, like it was suppose to happen. It wasn't just the acid, it was questions I had like you but everything was pieced together in a beautifully clear tragic way about how pointless my life is. It really made me rethink about what I've been doing.

>>718629734
I do not know what their plans are, but I think they want to keep the current system which is in place going for as long as possible.

Read Sartre and Nietzche. Many people find comfort in them. I personally don't, but having a real crisis in an existential crisis is silly. Would you rather kill yourself, or have a cup of coffee?

>>718615588

OP needs to get laid, stop sweating the small stuff.

>>718631200
I think Nietzsche's philosophy is mostly a zeitgeist revision tailored to the modern era.
Good to prep people for the world. Wouldn't call it "comforting" though.

>>718615588
I have this exact problem m8, i just avoid it by thinking other things and getting busy :(

>>718630359
Definitely go for Meditations if you're just looking for a healthier way to look at life. It's very helpful beyond existentialism, which might be too heavy for OP right now, he seems kinda lost

>>718629734
Everything is not what it appears. We live in a world of illusion unaware of the vast machinery at work around us governing our lives. There are people with more knowledge about the real system than the rest of us and they use that knowledge to rule over us from the shadows.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JvKEwr0iNA0

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Since this thread is talking about existential shit, I want to ask you all if you've ever heard of this before.

Since I was a kid I'd get very rare, seconds-long (maybe a minute, tops) periods of absolute detachment from myself (I don't know what other word to use).

I would be playing soccer with my friends when I was 8, and I'd look at my hands and at the trees and at the other kids and I just wouldn't see anything. I mean I'd see something completely bizarre and alien, really. I wasn't confused or scared or anything.

I don't mean I was hallucinating or something, I just mean I looked at my arm and thought saw it without thinking "arm". I wanna say I saw it as just a thing, or just as meat or something but there were absolutely no words in my head at the time.

Then it'd be over and I would not want to play soccer anymore.

>>718615588
>>718631723

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BUV76YDwppw

>>718631100
learn to use spaces in between your big ass fucking walls of text. i didnt even read that shit because it was too compressed. cmon faggot

>>718615588
Get your hands on some psychedelics OP like mushrooms.
Find yourself.

>>718631976
Yeah mushroom or lsd epiphanies aren't the same as real existential thought. I still highly recommend it, loads of fun

>>718631876

I know this feeling, but it only happens to me when I am waking up from after fainting, the first few seconds it's like I see the stuff but my brain doesn't recognize it as such. I remember waking from a faint episode once, I didn't realize there was a nurse infront of me after a couple of seconds.


I am no doctor, but my best guess is some lack of oxygen in your brain? Did you ever go to your doc about it?

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>>718631485
The greatest of the great emperors. The quintessential warrior-poet.

>>718631876
>Then it'd be over and I would not want to play soccer anymore.
I believe it may be linked to physical tiredness or dehidratation - one thing that happened to me when physically tired was experiencing the world as if delayed, that is i was conscious of things happening after some instant after they happened. The thing is i kept reacting normally - as if consciously - but i wasn't conscious of what i was doing until after one or two seconds. the same thing happens when i go one night without sleeping - i just work and speak like i usually do but i'm not conscious at all of what i'm doing until after a while

i'll take a look at the video. so you say there are those powerful people whose plans we don't know who decide how things go about.. well i can't say i didn't try to think about it sometime but i don't believe it's an actual existential problem.
but please go on i'd like to hear more

>>718632683
second paragraph is a reply to >>718631723

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>>718632304
No, I didn't.
I've passed out once and I think it's a pretty spot-on comparison to being semiconscious.

I'm guessing it's not an oxygen thing as at no point was I dizzy, faint, or otherwise off balance. And sometimes it lasted for a while, so if it were about oxygen I think I would've passed out.

I've spent more than a decade trying to describe it. Best I've come up with is that everything was fine except that my consciousness was almost completely nonexistent.

Like a camera recording things but nobody's watching the feed.

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>>718631876
>>718632304

Cool shit, makes me wish we understood our brains more.

Don't think I've ever experienced it, though I think the first anon isn't talking about any health problems. Could just be an induced state triggered by a certain process in the brain.

>>718632870
a momentary lapse of reason

Pretty awesome thread

>>718632683
It's existential because part of the hidden information they keep is about existence and what it is. They know the answers to the big questions, well some of them at least.

>>718633741
well of course as you say they could have some answer concerning some layer of reality, but it makes no sense claiming to have found the answer to the whole existential issue.. i believe knowing what they know is not enough to satisfy op's current state. in that state, one is scared of everything concerning existence

>>718629487
Fight club is for neomarxist children. BTFO trying to brainwash this fucker.

>>718633741
You underestimate the complexity of human society. No one controls it.

>>718615588
Think about how you were around for such an amazing yet shit stricken period of time in life, and even if you were just a consciousness this reality you've experienced is likely something only a few in history have experienced before you

>>718615588
welcome to your quarter life crisis. cheer up, /b/ro! its about to start getting a lot worse with each passing year. (birthday and earthyear)

>>718633325
That seems appropriate. Sense of self was null, too, which made me look up derealization and depersonalization, but neither of those were very good matches.

Just a serious brain fart that resulted in seeing the world without any attached notions or constructs, which happens to be, in retrospect, fucking terrifying.

I'm also a little upset that I can't do it at will.

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>>718615588

YOU'RE NOT ALONE

WATCH THIS VIDEO

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9mpybTfz6rU

you're not crazy

I was in the EXACT place a month ago

its a normal experience for people who start to go deeper inside themselves and build awareness

Keep meditating!!

You started a journey and you gotta keep going

The only thing you need to do is accept it

accept what you are experiencing

the only reason you're afraid is because you've been asleep your whole life and now you are seeing whats going on

you were blind before

just remember, nothing has changed, the only thing that changed was your PERCEPTION of it

you're looking down the rabbit hole now


if you jump in you won't regret it ;)

this place might help too

https://www.reddit.com/r/awakened/

>>718634502
Does sound terrifying, but also interesting. I share your desire to be able to command something like that.
The closest I can get is probably considering something like what we are on a very basic level- matter that has the ability to comprehend itself- and seeing if i can find a rabbit hole to think down.

>>718634045
All my intention was was to steer OP towards the path of seeking the truth, since he seemed like he might want to do if he were made aware of it.

>>718634117
Esoteric information is a hidden layer of meaning. Most skillful films have many layers of meaning, and Hollywood folk are deep into occult and esoteric knowledge.
I agree that a literal interpretation of Fight Club is for neomarxist children.

>>718634264
I can see why you would think that, but in fact humans are easily conditioned and controlled. What people call "propaganda" is not even the tip of the iceberg. I bet you think the English language just organically evolved. What if I told you there is a secret code embedded in the English language? Let me demonstrate:

continued...

>>718634789
>If I'm witnessing my thoughts, what am I?

Fuck me, that's pretty good anon. Might just check this shit out.

>>718634789
Ehh I won't tell you not to pursue more knowledge but be skeptical. While probably a fine idea this obviously has an aggressive agenda beyond learning. There's even a "boogey man"

>>718635123
Authority only exists where it is recognized. For that to be done it must first be known.
If anyone on Earth does not submit, your plan fails.

You're exhibiting the dunning-kruger effect right now.

>>718635123
Yes i understand what you mean, what i mean is i believe he should not tolerate an human-like answer to existential problems as he's convinced - as is right - that his new perseption is final and nothing can help him in removing such perception. he can only distract himself..

>>718635123
patiently awaiting the demonstration

>>718634264
>>718635123

Gematria is the practice of coding numbers into words and letters. There are many different forms of Gematria coding. In Simple English Gematria, each letter is assigned a value equal to its place in the alphabet. So A = 1, B = 2... Z = 26. You add all the letters together to get the Gematria value of a word.

So for example
English = 5 + 14 + 7 + 12 + 9 + 19 + 8 = 74
Simple = 19 + 9 + 13 + 16 + 12 + 5 = 74
Gematria = 7 + 1 + 13 + 1 + 20 + 18 + 9 + 1 = 74

Interesting that they all sum to 74. Check out these words:
Jesus = 10 + 5 + 19 + 21 + 19 = 74
Y'Shua = 25 + 19 + 8 + 21 + 1 = 74
Joshua = 74 (check the rest yourself if you wish)
Cross = 74
Messiah = 74
Muhammad = 74
Jewish = 74
Pinnacle = 74
Lucifer = 74
Occult = 74
Masonic = 74
Gospel = 74
Menorah = 74
Heavens = 74
Just a coincidence perhaps that all these religious related words have that gematria.

cont...

>>718635537
sorry I'm typing as fast as possible

>>718635251
He's exhibiting nutter effect right now. He's the type of person who because of circumstance not into organized religion but still can't fathom a world where chaos rules. He needs there to be a reason fo everything so he buys into different boogey man than god.

it's still fucking retarded. Read ANY philosophy that isn't propaganda against the fucking rothchilds or whoever you think is causing your shitty life

>>718615588
Are you just now growing out of childhood? Underage fuck. Make a goal in life and strive for it. A goal that keeps you going isn't: Make enough money to survive. It's something like "make history remember you for something."

>>718615588
Holy shit anon. Im literally having the exact same thing right now. I have anxiety too and I have questioned the definition of existance to the point of feeling like I'm going insane. I ask myself questions like " what's it like to be a rock? What does it even mean to be alive?" Maybe we're connected somehow

>>718618139

Now consider this... you are not and have never been in control of your body, all you are is a meat puppet, controlled by the genes inside you, the genes that have evolved from the original RNA replicators that first evolved into life on this planet. Your whole existence is just a sack of flesh to keep them alive and replicating optimally. You're nothing even when you are alive.

>>718635761
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sHCHEykUxP4


With a literal shitload of data to draw from you can create any spooky conspiracy from the endless coincidences that occur. How are you people buying this?

>>718636054
sure, the point is we are still experiencing something so we actually ARE. cogito ergo sum

>>718636054
Genes don't determine if you pull a trigger or not to your head. We are not simple minded animals with the only desire to eat, shit and fuck.

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>>718615588
Philosophy and weed

>>718635200
you're both the experience and experiencer ;)

>>718635209
i try to avoid most of the shit that surrounds this topic and base all my ideas off personal experience

whose this boogey man lol?

>>718635975
Wow yeah gj "be remembered" holy shit you are the child here. Do you honestly believe that is a real solution to existentialism? What about thousands of years from now when even the most celebrated person alive won't be remembered except by historians with a 21st century, early period fetish? Woops, back to square one. Retard

>>718629163
Is that a pic of an actual "Dickhead"?

If so, it would help OP out just a little

>as rare as a rare pepe

>>718636395
You're misunderstanding him I think. If we take it a step back from genes it's just the atoms interacting with each other. A chain of actions and reactions started by the big bang. If that is the case your brain, made of those same atoms, never had the "choice" to act in any other way than exactly how it will

>>718636474
>t.edgy faggot with no experience in life
Get over yourself, the majority of people who put themselves out there with everything they have, are remember in some way. If you're some lazy depressed faggot who has given up on everything, with some dead end job at some factory, you will only be remembered by nobody.

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>>718634789
OP
Read this

https://www.reddit.com/r/awakened/comments/3vf276/the_dark_night_of_the_soul_completely_shattered/

>>718636411
yo fuck weed when you're in the state of mind

i smoked when i was going through this and it was terrifying

>>718636223
You haven't yet seen how deep it goes.

>>718635761
continuing

Many words have relations through gematria, for example
Beauty = 2 + 5 + 1 + 21 + 20 + 25 = 74
Beast = 2 + 5 + 1 + 19 + 20 = 47

Jury = 74
Judge = 47

Fruit = 74
Candy = 47

There is a secondary version of this gematria where you add all the digits in the numbers, eg:
Penis = (1+6) + 5 + (1+4) + 9 + (1+9) = 27
Vagina = (2+2) + 1 + 7 + 9 + (1+4) + 1 = 27
as you can see each letter was added together if it was more than one digit.
Interestingly in the original method Dick = 4 + 9 + 3 + 11 = 27

Back to the number 74, it reminds me of Independence Day, 7/4 or July 4.
In the reduced method:
Independence Day = 9 + 5 + 4 + 5 + 7 + 5 + 5 + 4 + 5 + 3 + 5 + 4 + 1 + 7 = 74
Holiday = 8 + 15 + 12 + 9 + 4 + 1 + 25 = 74
That date was chosen for a reason.

cont...

>>718636727
The fact that order exists in the universe proves the existence of chaos, thus destroys the parodox of "destiny."

Go to a boxing club or otherwise have a fight.

>>718615588
Take acid nerd. Then you'll really contemplate the meaning of life

>>718636893
Freemasons are obsessed with the number 33. They always code the number 33 into their doings using Gematria and numerology, especially in names.
Name = 14 + 1 + 13 + 5 = 33 (Simple English Gematria)
Codename = 3 + 6 + 4 + 5 + 5 + 1 + 4 + 5 = 33 (English Reduction)

More examples:
There are 33 degrees of Freemasonry
Masonry = 4 + 1 + 1 + 6 + 5 + 9 + 7 = 33
Holocaust = 8 + 6 + 3 + 6 + 3 + 1 + 3 + 1 + 2 = 33
Genesis = 7 + 5 + 5 + 5 + 1 + 9 + 1 = 33
Big Bang = 2 + 9 + 7 + 2 + 1 + 5 + 7 = 33
Wake-Up Call = 5 + 1 + 2 + 5 + 3 + 3 + 1 + 3 + 3 = 33
Kennedy = 2 + 5 + 5 + 5 + 5 + 4 + 7 = 33
Robert = 9 + 6 + 2 + 5 + 9 + 2 = 33
Sirhan = 1 + 9 + 9 + 8 + 1 + 5 = 33 (Sirhan Sirhan = 33 33)
Bill Gates = 2 + 9 + 3 + 3 + 7 + 1 + 2 + 5 + 1 = 33 (retired from CEO of Microsoft after 33 years)
Darwin = 4 + 1 + 9 + 5 + 9 + 5 = 33
MK Ultra = 4 + 11 + 3 + 3 + 2 + 9 + 1 = 33
Society = 1 + 6 + 3 + 9 + 5 + 2 + 7 = 33
Order = 6 + 9 + 4 + 5 + 9 = 33
Jesus is said to have been crucified at age 33

Christopher Columbus (CC = 33) was sent by the Catholic Church (33) to start a new Freemason controlled nation.
Every NASA astronaut has been a Freemason. They launch their rockets from Cape Canaveral (33) and the Kennedy Space Centre (Kennedy = 33, see above), using Runway 33.

>>718636731
Oh yeah I forgot successful people never have existential dread, it's a poor man's disease

Mid life crisis is a thing btw

>>718617162
> true God

Try Omnism there is no one true God but there are ALL the Gods the Christian one, the Islamic one, literally everything

>>718629894
So, your two-step process is basically to find religion, and then un-find it. Cool.

>>718615588
What is this "I" that you keep talking about?

>>718637282
we're god

me and you

:)

I didn't expect so many people on /b/ to be awake

im actually impressed

good shit dudes

>>718636467
In your case? I don't know. Free masons. Illuminati. Rothschild family, Rockafeller family, fucking lizard people? Hillary Clinton, Jay Z is a new one. One of those people, just anyone, so you can believe your shitty lot in life isn't a coincidence but a carefully orchestrated plan by the bad guys. Watch out, I just opened the 4th dimension and they're coming for you

>>718637614
oh haha i see

no i don't believe in that type of thing

i think all of us are equally clueless as to what the hell is actually going on here

>>718637944
Oh alright then, sorry, big thread, late night. I think some of the posters here are on that train and I lost track

not op, i was the one posting a shitton of wall of texts at the beginning
i'm fucking tired so i'm going to sleep
thanks for the good thread anons
will be nice to talk sometime again

Read Nausea by Jean Paul Satre. It is exactly what you're going through.

>>718638455
One of the better threads here in a while, good night

File: 4v23d.jpg (22KB, 400x428px) Image search: [Google]

22KB, 400x428px

>>718635761
>>718636893
>>718637139

>>718637139
I really don't care enough to check if the others are true but the bill gates one isn't, he was at microsoft for 39 years