/b/ Are you real villains? What's the worst thing you've

Some jocks were bullying me at school last year. There were 3 of them, they teased me all the time. Well, I spent months training the art of Bushido. I learned how to speak Japanese too. Using a katana I bought from Sakura-con, I honed my skills. I showed up to school one day after I reached black belt in Bushido. I had a long leather trenchcoat, hair in a ponytail, and a classy trilby on my head. The jocks approached me, wearing their letterman jackets
>"hey fag, why are you so gay?"
I get into Bushido stance
I focus my ancestors power as I grab the handle of my Katana, hidden under my trenchcoat.
>"Shinu tame no junbi" (prepare to die)
The school security cameras just show 3 jocks falling over, their heads and arms falling off. My Bushido was so fast, the cameras couldn't catch any movement. That's why I'm not in jail. Actually, I'm in a polyamory relationship with all 3 of the jocks cheerleader girlfriends. Thank you for hearing my tale.

File: monkey.gif (779KB, 325x203px) Image search: [Google]

779KB, 325x203px

Fine, fine.

>11th grade
>There's a sweet, pretty girl who had her lost her legs in an accident and uses a wheelchair
>Has very few friends due to her condition
>She's a fantastic artist
>My friends and I decide to prank her for shits and giggles
>I pretend I want to be her friend and she warms up to me instantly
>We start to hang out outside of school
>Sleep over at her house one night
>We play video games, playing some Twisted Metal
>Ask her if she can show me her portfolio (she was in the advanced art program in our school and needed to create fifty or so amazing art pieces to pass)
>After a game I say I need to go to the bathroom
>Pull out big-ass scissors from my pocket (big pocket I was wearing jncos) go into her room, and cut the bottom-half of all of her art pieces off and trash them
>Leave
>The next day, she rolls up to me in the middle of class, on the verge of crying, and asks me what happened to her art
>I said, "I made them look like you"
>All my friends laugh heartily
>She rolls over to her table, alone, and just stares at her hands in her lap for the rest of the day

It was less than a month before that art was due, too. There's no way she made it up in time. I look back on that incident sometimes and think, "is she a stronger person because of that? Or a weaker person?" Maybe I should look her up some time, see how she's doing.

>Be me in 3rd grade
>Kid named Tony brings handheld video game to school. He's quiet and keeps to himself
>Me and friend yank it out of his hand during recess.
>Run my ass off to the "under construction/keep out" jungle gym.
>Throw his vidya game up onto the top level of the structure
>Tony goes after it, climbs over the yellow tape barriers, makes it to the top level
>Platform falls out from underneath him, he falls headfirst into concrete
>ohshit.jpg
>Me and friend run away laughing nervously
>Yard supervisor is crouched down over him, screaming
>Ambulance shows up, he gets taken away
>Luckily for us, we never said anything and nobody saw us
>Never see Tony back at school, all the kids assume he's dead
(Fast forward to senior year of HS)

>Meet super qt 3.14
>We end up dating
>go over to have dinner with her parents
>Says she has disabled older brother they take care of
>We get to her parents house, they are out at a doctors appointment
>See picture in a frame
>ohshit.jpg
>it's Tony
>Scared as fuck, but qt gf wants to fuck before everyone gets back home
>Mfw I'm nailing her over the couch, accidently make eye contact with Tony picture while I nut
>feelsbadman.jpg
>Put on spongebob and sit on opposite couches just in time for parents car to roll into driveway.
>Door opens, parents walk in, pushing dude my age who looks like Stephen hawking in a wheelchair
>Drool coming out of his mouth
>I say hi, quickly head to bathroom
>at dinner table now
>Tonys just sitting there drooling, staring at his plate
>Parents ask me how old I was, where I grew up, etc.
>Nervously tell the truth
>"Oh wow, you and Tony probably went to school together!" The mom says
>Tony slowly looks up at me with his disabled eyes
>Goes full retard, howling and convulsing
>Parents and GF thought it was a seizure, I knew by his eyes he remembered me

(2 weeks later)

>Be me sitting next to Tony in hospital room
>He on a ventilator
>He dies hours after I go home

File: IMAG0206.jpg (1MB, 1520x2688px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 1520x2688px

Worst I've done is just the normal emotional manipulation to make girl feel shitty about herself, I feel guilty sometimes so definetly not close to villian status

>>718532717
Worst shit I've done against bad people, so not exactly villain stuff. Not on my part anyway.

>>718532717
Stole pens and pencils, stole a couple of books, raped a hot girl in high school and she said stop but I kept doing it. Went back torrenting then to pirating on music and updating drawing products. Ton of good shit. Really awesome bro. Also download and pirated security exploits and anti viruses uploading and crypting. Pretty much it.

>>718533174
nice pasta

I threw a cat out of a car window at highway speed.

I purposely manipulated a girl to fall in love with me even though I had no interest in her whatsoever.

File: y19kPOh.jpg (304KB, 1600x1200px) Image search: [Google]

304KB, 1600x1200px

>>718533745
>autist justifying his deer in headlights response to a girl showing interest
Good show Machiavelli

I took a shit

>>718532989
rustles jimmies....harambe...cia

If anything, I'm a cartoon villain. I only scare people for my own amusement.

>>718532989
Why do i remember this from somewhere?
Is it copypasta?

>>718533417
Whatever you say man

>>718535684
Yes.

>>718533456
fucking skid

>>718533417
Tips Trilby

>>718532717
I fucked a guys wife out of insurance because she had cancer!

HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAEHEHEHEHEH

I sucked off Robbie Rotten while Andy Sixx shit on me with his graceful log.

File: image.jpg (44KB, 320x240px) Image search: [Google]

44KB, 320x240px

I once drank orange juice and I didn't even use a glass!
I drank it straight out of the carton!

File: GD0cqW3npYZ68.gif (428KB, 500x266px) Image search: [Google]

428KB, 500x266px

>be me
>troubled youth
>become skinhead with skinhead friends
>see a lone nigger
>being the only one with blue eyes i get the "fun"
>We replicate american history ex
>size 13 steeltoe boot slammed against head
>neck fracture leaves him paralyzed
>4 days later they find him dead of dehydration
>still dont know who did it.
I dont feel guilty in the fucking slightest.

>>718540702
shit i remember this happening at our school. i'm taking this to the police. MODS

>>718542016
Wich school?

>>718532883
subtle keke over here

>>718542016
Wich school motherfucker!

>>718542265
No not a witch school.

>>718542286
.... what school was it.....

>>718542345
uscared bro? those cops are coming soon

>>718542391
Nope, i've been waiting. Making a few calls right now. Some pigs are going to die tonight if you are fucking being serious.

>>718542391
Now let me ask you again, what school motherfucker.

File: IMG_0034.jpg (1MB, 3264x2448px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 3264x2448px

>>718542468
you're a worthless nigger

makes me sick even talking about it, but one time back in elementary school, i littered.

>>718542613
What i thought, just trying to fuck with me. And that looks disgusting... french fries steak and a fucking rice cake?

>>718542468
don't you like surprises? :) i'll see you soon

>>718542771
>>718542613
oh no, that wasn't me. i'm just heading your way right now sir.

File: red23.jpg (65KB, 634x362px) Image search: [Google]

65KB, 634x362px

you said "worst" thing and tbh i don't even think this is "bad", but it was definitely illegal and i got away with it
>be me, be a gambling junkie
>sit at the roulette table trying to make a few bucks
>buy in for $300
>making bets, things are going well
>chips are stacking up nicely
>croupier goes on break, new croupier comes in
>place some ridiculously big bets on the 3rd dozen and the 1st column
>hit both at once
>croupier runs out of my color and has to pay in cash chips instead of roulette chips
>starts counting out WAY more money than i won on the bet...
>i'm confused, looking around, but keeping quiet
>other players looking at me like, "what happened? how'd you win all that?"
>i have no fucking idea, but i'm not sticking around
>push my color chips in, tell him to cash all of it in
>he counts out WAYYY more than what it's worth in cash chips
>he calls the pit boss over to confirm, i'm sweating bullets
>pit boss confirms
>i don't even stop at the money cage, i just head for the parking lot, i'll come back and cash that shit a little at a time
>get home count it out
>walked out of there with over $5000 dollars
>should have been about $1000
>the first croupier accidentally marked my buy-in as $5 chips instead of $1 chips
>never seen that happen to anyone else before or after
>cashed the chips with no trouble, ducked in, ducked out
>avoided that casino for months afterwards
>tiny bit worried that i cost the croupier his job
>finally go back... first croupier and second croupier both still work there
>not sure if the casino ever even knew about the mistake....

>>718542829
Then say the name of the school, dont waste my fucking time.

>>718543016
>on 4chan
>doesn't want to waste time

>>718543016
You're wasting your own time my friend. You better run.

>>718543016
Shane get off of 4chan you stupid fucker sorry he recently got back on meth hes so fucking delusional this is luke btw

>>718543360
oh hey luke. np bro it's cool

>>718543426
He fucking dialed me up at 5 am saying the cops were on to us, we just fucking beat him up not kill him i eventually got him to tell me wich thread this was...

>>718543360
YOURE NOT FUCKING MICHAEK YOU CIA DUMT FUCK YOU

>>718543501
im out shane get some rest you shithead

>>718543174
WHAT SCHOOL NIGGER

>>718543501
Michael? You mean Big Boss? I thought he disappeared 3 years ago.

>>718543704
No dude michaels over by fort hood

I sucked a dog dick

>>718543174
What school fucker

>>718543999
YOURE NOT ME BUT THANKS 4FOR THE HELP

>>718532883
Fucking kek

>Be fucking this hot 9/10 cheerleader in high school
>Get her pregnant
>Find rich freshman
>Talk to him about fucking my girl
>Says hes up for it
>Go to the bathroom and get her naked
>Have to unzip and guide the freshman's cock manually because hes nervous and scared.
>They get going and hes about to nutt
>Force his ass so he doesn't pull out
>Two weeks later girl says it's his kid
>They go out, eventually get married
>Divorce two years later, he has to pay child support
>It's my kid

Thats how I reverse cucked myself. Kind of miss the girl, though I'm glad I don't have to be a dad.

File: 1482105421398.webm (2MB, 320x240px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 320x240px

>>718532717
I spelled Benjamin Cumonback correctly when someone asked his name purely out of spite.

>>718544088
Gotcha

>>718539538
>andy sixx

literally who?

>>718544182
you're on my level, anon

>>718544348
NewfoundlandFag alert

I stole thousands of dollars worth of clay and other supplies when I was in 7th grade

>>718544348
It's a forced meme

File: Screenshot_2017-01-11-05-35-03.png (171KB, 1280x800px) Image search: [Google]

171KB, 1280x800px

Jokes over nesse the lochness momster had his fun.

>>718544751
tabletfag

>>718540702
You're no different from a nigger.

>>718544811
Yeeeeeeeeeeep

>>718544841
Check >>718544751
The story is fake.

>>718544751
What am I supposed to be looking at?

>>718544902
The story is fake /b/ros

Fucked a guy in an apartment complex pool.

Fucked sameguy in hot topic dressing room.

>>718545056
Jesse?

>>718545056
Ya dun goofed

>grade 9
>being my semi-autisitc self and let myself be fucked around with by other people
>turns into bullying
>slowly builds up into hate towards people
>eventually actually want to murder them
>start planning out when i'll take out bully number 1
>find myself a decent swiss knife
>try to cut random objects to see how sharp it is
>practice swinging and stabbing
>okaybois itDday
>last period of the day is over
>about to leave school
>walking towards my bus, knife in pocket
>let's call bully number one "Ed"
>Eddy is there kinda waiting for me near the bus
>nottodayniggerr.jpeg
>hand in pocket
>autistic smile on my face
>"this nigguh better try something so i can slice him up" i think to myself
>HE APPROACHES
>pin him against wall
>pull out knife and flip it open
>to the neck
>HAND STABILIZERS ACTIVATED
>i must show no fear, i am the only one to be feared around here
>poke his skin with blade
>Eddy's face pale as fuck
>tell him "move on step and you're done"
>tells me to put knife down and work things out things peacefully
>"shut the fuck up im ending this now, I'm done with your shit"
>increase knife pressure
>FUCKITIMDOINGTHIS.avi
>suddenly hear my name being yelled
>oh shit it's the vice principal, bully number 2 had called him after he saw what was going on with eddy
>my twin sister comes in and tries to snatch my knife but I wave it around and accidently throw it away due to immense mental pressure
>punch Eddy in the stomach and walk towards vice principal
>knife confiscated meh
>talk with him for a bit and work things out
>"It's fine young Anon, no one else will know about what happened today"
>sister punches me on the way back for being the retard I am

>>718545089
Nope, not a Jesse. THOUGH, if you've also had this it can't be that uncommon.

In high school i conviced the shy guy in the class to stole mdma from his brother (i knew his brother had some). We went at the club and took some- that he gave me for free. He became addicted and know he's a fucking 100lbs epileptic. methead whith no job.

File: 1449198862960.jpg (33KB, 292x257px) Image search: [Google]

33KB, 292x257px

>>718532883

>>718532989
fukcking pastaboy

>>718545466
Found the drug virgin

File: 127.jpg (31KB, 418x371px) Image search: [Google]

31KB, 418x371px

So /b/, there is this story I want to share.
>be 16 me back in 2011
>be in 11th grade
>my classmates and most of the teachers are pain in the ass
>one day, informatic and that shit class
>be in computer room
>while the others are programming and crap i decide to fuck up everything
>i pretend to feel sick and go to bathroom
>teacher says yes
>i pretend to shit
>class ends and everyone goes back in classroom
>i sneak in computer room
>upload shitons of malwares and trojans
>delete some system32 folders
>block modem
>i say i have fever and parents pick me to home
>the next day go back to school
>school headmaster is pissed off
>she yells in the main room
>"HURR DURR WHO BLOCKED THE COMPUTERS DURR WE HAVE TO PAY NOW"
>mfw they trash computers and modem
>mfw it happened before i moved to a new school

Shit was good, guys.

>be 12
> early in the morning
> was getting ready for school and eating breakfast
> my midget autistic cat won't shut up
>It was probably about 5:30
>I finished breakfast and ran and found the cat
>manage to grab the cat
> ran outside the house before he would P on my hands
> immediately threw the cat at the dog
> dog goes on a killing spree chasing the cat up the tree
>Cat is now stuck in tree cat is now stuck in tree and dog guards the tree
> The bus is here my escape!
> fucking thug life

>pee in toilet bowl
>flush toilet while still peeing
>toilet finish flush, still peeing
>new bowl water yellow

File: IMG_0118.png (1MB, 640x1136px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 640x1136px

>>718545902
>implying you had easy access to trojans
>implying the computers weren't on a secured network
>implying you can delete system 32 on a non admin account
>implying you're not an underage faggot

>>718545466
How many marijuanas does he inject?

>>718532883
>polyamory
>even when you're making an alpha story you still put some beta shit in it
No, they're either your harem or your sex slaves.

>played with oil-based candles in a german church with some retarded kid from my school
>burnt at least 1/5th of the church down when the retarded kid thought it was a great idea to send them flying on the carpets
>even the retard wasn't caught
>cried in my bed for days
Yeah i'm a vilain faggot

>>718545312
I'll take 100 on Things That Never Happened

i fucked my cousins wife

>Once knocked over my dad's glass of orange juice
>Didn't even say sorry
Get on my level faggots.

>>718546315
Implying that all public schools/high schools actually have some form of security on their network.

The fact that they threw the computers out instead of trying to fix them leads me to believe that these people didn't know a thing about computers whatsoever.

>>718546680
sick fucko, MODS

>>718546635
Fuck...

>>718546635
I fucked my cousin. I should give him a call...

>In Afghanistan
>there was a girl that looked like she was 16
>she was standing in front of people that had their guns pointed at her
>bomb strapped to her chest
>they shout something
>she runs forward
>they run back
>I shoot her and take cover
>bomb never goes off
>it was fake
I killed a teenage girl for no reason

Posted my dick on 4chan

File: 1469841248477.gif (1MB, 720x720px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 720x720px

>>718532717
I drank milk from the from the bottle, Once.

>>718547007
Don't feel guilty. No one coulda known. Women are goats to those people.

>>718532717
Well, uh, technically-uhh... nah.

>>718547007
Could be worse: You could have done something bad.

>>718547050
There it is... the rarest and most beautiful pepe...

>>718547098
Thank you anon :)

>>718532717
I got in a fist fight with an illegal and beat him bad enough to need a hospital visit. He never went to police out of fear of being deported.

I was vindictive and told the cops he jumped me and I fought back. Had friends say it with me. He was likely deported.

I really beat the shit out of him too. Hammered his face while he was on the ground.

I regret it deeply. I was a real fucking cunt in my teens.

Handjob in a toys r us.

File: images.jpg (10KB, 300x168px) Image search: [Google]

10KB, 300x168px

>>718542436
haaaaa kid shook as fuck

>>718546315
You're the underage faggot around here. When I was in High School they didn't have any security on the computers. We used to fuck with them all the time.

>>718540702
Give this man a fucking medal.

>>718540702
>white supremacist
>identify as skinhead
Stopped reading there. Fake.

>>718547666

Is it that you stopped reading or that it took you twenty minutes to read to that point

>>718547666
Thanks nigger lover satan.

File: yay white supremacy.png (31KB, 634x548px) Image search: [Google]

31KB, 634x548px

>>718547747
>>718547737

>>718548050
So we've learned you can't read, you can't draw, you can hardly write legibly. Is there anything you can do that isn't shit?

>>718548050
U just buttmad brother here made a chimplet die in agony.

>>718532717
I'm a fucking angel nowdays.

Was fukt as a kid though. Was the toughest kid in school. Punched some dude's teeth out just to let people know who's the boss.

Used to try and fuck my cousins when I was young. When I was a teenager and felt guilty and ignored them for like 10 years. Too much of a pussy to say sorry, until I started binge drinking. Asked my aunty for help after trying to commit suicide and admitted all that shit because I assumed I was going to die anyway. Cousins came around, apologised. And it seems they forgave me.

I still never forgive me for that shit I did to my cousins. What's weird is that I used to be attracted to them and try and fuck them when we were young and they didn't like me the same way. Nowdays I'm not attracted to them, yet one of them wants to fuck me when we drink. So I've gone back to avoiding them again.

File: white power.png (40KB, 634x548px) Image search: [Google]

40KB, 634x548px

>>718548109
>>718548111

>>718542921
Considering how much money they make, $5000 is very manageable to lose, and almost unnoticeable. He could have done it on purpose to give you money and still not get caught.

>>718547007
You killed her because she appeared to have opportunity, capability and intent.

Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.

>>718548209
Haha nice rebuttal I actually like dicks :D

>>718548209
Did ya take the time to make sure your writing was legible? Good boy. You get a banana sticker.

>>718540192
thug

>>718548276
>>718548296
>inb4 another dick swastika

File: hqdefault.jpg (23KB, 480x360px) Image search: [Google]

23KB, 480x360px

>>718547077
Have you ever caught a good guy, like, uh, like a real superhero?

File: IMG_0120.jpg (45KB, 600x777px) Image search: [Google]

45KB, 600x777px

>>718546796

File: yay i'm a nazi.jpg (113KB, 640x480px) Image search: [Google]

113KB, 640x480px

>>718548276
i know you do, all white power fags do

File: Robbie_Rotten.jpg (18KB, 480x360px) Image search: [Google]

18KB, 480x360px

Jesus Christ. I didn't think this thread would turn into such faggotry. I regret making it now. You're all terrible villains.

File: lol gay.png (387KB, 1000x800px) Image search: [Google]

387KB, 1000x800px

>>718548344
>>718548296

>>718548408
Yummy cummies ;^)

Gimmie sum brown sugah baybe

>>718548408
>I have this saved but I'm not a faggot you are

Denial isn't just a river in Africa

>>718542921
Casinos are owned by scumbags anyway. Most of their money is laundered drug money. Only reason why casinos exist really.

>>718548486
>if I use my meme maybe they'll stop being mean to me

Consider creating an exit bag.

File: racist accidentally sucks dick.gif (790KB, 200x177px) Image search: [Google]

790KB, 200x177px

>>718548522
>no, we're both faggots, honey, you just big on pretending like all the other white power brothers

>>718548522
Kek

>>718540702
Oi!

>>718542016
Fag

File: racist b-troll finds his calling.gif (119KB, 200x112px) Image search: [Google]

119KB, 200x112px

>>718548582

>>718548617
Look kiddo. Just cause you like the feeling of Jamal ramming your throat with his below average shit stick doesn't mean other people do.

>you guys are fags
>my gay memes confirm

>>718548617
>>718548678
>posting more from his gay porn folder

You didn't need to convince us you were a faggot. We knew by your first post you enjoyed poles to pockets.

File: that feeeling when white's are the master race.gif (1MB, 500x281px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 500x281px

>>718548726
>>718548733
fun facts:
there's no such thing as a straight white supremacist

File: (you).gif (478KB, 400x297px) Image search: [Google]

478KB, 400x297px

>>718548790

>>718543699
dude niggers dont go to school

>>718548835
>so focused on his gay porn hes not even talking back anymore, just making blanket statements

File: took your racist ass to school though.gif (1MB, 245x307px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 245x307px

>>718548871

I once had consensual sex with my wife in the missionary position purely for the purposes of reproduction.

File: actually what you look like.gif (927KB, 500x375px) Image search: [Google]

927KB, 500x375px

>>718548885

File: 1472268336524.jpg (296KB, 600x600px) Image search: [Google]

296KB, 600x600px

>>718548970

>>718548387
Nah.

>>718549005
You've got quite the collection don't ya? It's almost like you're actually a faggot.

Niggerfaggot.

It's not our fault you're a crack baby living with welfare prostitute mom.

>>718532717
I filled a paper with 20 pages of bullshit so my peer editor wouldn't turn it in on time and my grade for it would never be added.

File: racist finally filled with his fantasy.gif (767KB, 480x360px) Image search: [Google]

767KB, 480x360px

>>718549126
>>718549127

>anon has black on white gay folder
You gay bruh.

>>718549228
i ain't the only one, swetness

>>718549216
You can tell he's more butt blasted than the dudes in his gay porn and just shit posting at this point, and it makes it even funnier.

>>718549288
Dubz confirm

This nigga salty.

File: still pretends to be racist in public.gif (597KB, 480x360px) Image search: [Google]

597KB, 480x360px

>>718549288
nice dubz

>>718546315
You dumb fucking nigger

>muh bbc
>muh blm
Not his fault guys. Africans have a mean IQ of 70, which is full retard in white numbers.

Don't blame him.

>>718546680
You monster. How do you live with yourself

Cyberbullied (posted memes of him mostly) and made a montage parody video on an anonymous Facebook account of a guy from my school who I thought was a dickhead. He reacted so aggressively that he got expelled from the school, his Mum kicked him out of the house and a group of guys who likes all my posts ended up jumping him in an alley and put him in the hospital. Haven't heard of him since.

>>718532717
technically nah

but basically I put my best friend on a mental hospital and stole his girlfriend

File: klan rally behind closed doors.gif (2MB, 400x225px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 400x225px

>>718549523

>>718532883
Nice

File: b80.jpg (69KB, 1280x720px) Image search: [Google]

69KB, 1280x720px

>>718549090
Have you ever tried a disguise?

File: 1476458432666.jpg (172KB, 1280x989px) Image search: [Google]

172KB, 1280x989px

>>718532717

murdered a kid decades ago making it look like an accident...

completely destroyed the borucratic system on several universities by revealing tiny flaws withing the industrial sector... on the next years you'll see dramatic changes in the european teaching system (i do not see this as a bad thing though)

used to fund several "shows" on some internet sites you are not able to reach, small funds however, i never wanted to track much attention...

helped out a scottish spy to escape what i believe to be the FBI, he had information on topics /x/ would be interested in (again i do not see this as a evil thing... but then again... Cancer man was the villain, not Mulder)

i fucked the girlfriend of the brother of a friend of mine in the past

i saved TONS of CP but lost the drive where i had it about 10 or 12 years ago...

>>718549634
Can you niggers and rednecks stop derailing this bread plz.

Nobody likes tyrone nor jebediah now piss off.

>>718549700
>ow the edge

>>718549723
wicked

>>718549691
Nahh, nahh...

Remembered another one: In year 1 I tried to poison another student because he was annoying. Mixed bleach with dishwashing liquid and some other chemicals in my 7-year old reach and put them in his drink bottle. He didn't end up drinking any because it 'smelled funny'. Blamed it on my best friend who got suspended and never came back.

>>718549735
i respect you
i will only post gifs of racists doing what they do best if the racists make racist comments
i am gentleman

>>718533174
>>Meet super qt 3.14
>>We end up dating
>>go over to have dinner with her parents
I was hoping the qt was going to be Tony and Tony became a trap

>>718533307
Oh yeah I've done this shit

File: 14841467153143866.gif (1MB, 444x250px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 444x250px

>>718549821
Alright! I can see that I will have to teach you how to be villains!

>>718532717
I stole weed and alcohol from my roommates for an entire year

>gf cheats on me
>beat her with a sack of frozen oranges
>broke 3 ribs and forearm
>feltgudmayne

>>718533678
We don't fuck with cats here

>>718532717
Tortured children
Molested children
Abused children (got caught once)

Everything else I've done is vanilla compared to these.

I'm sick and need help.. I just distance myself from kids now. But I've never been able to stop these feelings.
>The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

>>718550034
taking back your property by force is always satisfying

I watched my highschool bully burn to death, then laughed at his funeral. Fucker deserved it

>>718549700
>murdered a kid
>i fucked the girlfriend of the brother of a friend of mine in the past
HOW DOES THAT EVEN COMPARE?

>me at like 12 years old
>we got some shit stored in the attic of a house my mom rents out
>lady has this little yappy ass dog
>i'm going through the shit looking for something
>dog: yap yap yap yap yap
>mom and the lady are up the hill in another building
>dog: yap yap yap
>i head out to the back porch
>dog nipping at my ankles yap yap yap yap yap
>i'm smoking a cigarette trying to ignore doggo
>yap yap yap
>maybe 4 foot drop off back porch?
>yap yap yap
>lightly kick dog off back porch cause it's funny
>doggo starts yelping like it's on fire, painful hurt shrieks
>"oh fuck i hurt the doggo"
>book it out of there, go meet my mom in the other building

>later they ask me how doggo broke its leg
>"idk, it was fine when i left."
>felt like shit about it my whole life
>honestly didn't mean to hurt doggo...

Came in my friend's sister's panties several times. Also stole around 2 or 3k from his other sister

>>718550034
Nice going asshole no wonder she cucked you

>>718549700
With dubs like those, it sounds like you have some UFO files that you'd best be linking us to .

File: 1478221218579.jpg (483KB, 1561x3204px) Image search: [Google]

483KB, 1561x3204px

>>718532717
>neighbor's dog (adult labrador) barked all night
>too autistic to go and talk to him
>instead I gave the dog a chorizo filled with broken glass at 3 a.m
>took the fucker 2 hours to die after vomiting blood over all the patio

Not into killing dogs but the fucker deserved it

I was the 3rd member of the columbine "duo"

>>718550703
tits or gtfo

>>718550627
>nigger that broke girlfriend with frozen oranges here

That's fucking heartless dude.

>>718550773
Give me a better solution, fag.

>>718550829
kidnap doggo
give it away on craigslist

>>718542921
if the bet was signed as 5$ there is no mistake to found out about.

>>718550829
Maybe give him some sleeping pills and strangle him afterward?

No need to torture him dude.

>>718550829
Sleeper hold on doggo

>>718550907
well like i said, i dont think it was "bad"
just an awesome memory

sad part of the story is i'm a degenerate gambler, so they got it all back over the years

>>718535684
definitely, but still so mean

>>718533745
i did this then break up with her she went crazy stalked me for years begged to talk

i post banana images to ylyl threads

>>718550034
You did the right thing

this thread was more live when i was posting gay porn

>>718550627
SIeep tight pupper

File: 1483400229714.jpg (56KB, 640x800px) Image search: [Google]

56KB, 640x800px

Tried to impress a bitch to like me, and shit. Triggered here a couple of times to go out with me but declined. I have no soul

>>718551480
kys

File: image_0.png (167KB, 256x384px) Image search: [Google]

167KB, 256x384px

>>718549902
>>718549902

Manslaughter is probably the worst thing I'm guilty of but not been charged with.

>>718545312
i've basically done that but this shitlord kept taking my bag which was being used as a goalpost and running away with it so eventually i chased him down and held a razor blade against his neck lol he was shivering and sweating like a bitch and he never touched my shit again

>>718548416
What did you expect?! Sportaflop?

Quads

Well...uh, technically...nah

How the fuck is this thread still alive

>>718554663
No idea

>>718532717
When I was in high-school I lied about having cancer to get some 7/10 to let me fuck her in a movie theatre bathroom.

3 years ago i dumped an ex, so she went around saying i was a supporter of rape to scate other women away.

She has been cock blocking me bad plus friends have also taken her side.

Just before xmas I made up a fake fb profile and she accepted the friend request.

Went thru her fb got all the proof re her lieing about me.

She's getting served with a Supreme Court writ in 3 weeks - this will bankrupt her and her new partner in her legal fees, my costs and a payout to me.

She'll need to pay me in full or pay me any spare $ she has over next ten years.

Revenge is sweet.

>>718547666
I won't listen to your nigger loving lies, Satan.

I once put a bottle of Disney shampoo in my mother's purse while she wasn't looking and we walked out of the store without paying for it

>>718532989
Call me Jimmy because even though I've seen this before, I'm still rustled.

>>718544253

Why the fuck does this even exist?

>>718544182
the hero we need

>>718557186
>supreme court writ

Just fucking an hero now

>winter 2015
>cute girl and I have been friends for years
>always thought she was beautiful
>I have a girlfriend though
>we speak every day on the phone, often for hours
>one night she tells me she likes a guy at her university
>being the beta fag I am I advised her over the next 3 weeks on how to get him interested in her too
>advice works, they end up in a relationship
>it's okay though because I have my own girlfriend.
>fastforward to Summer last year
>moved to a new live-in job far away from home
>gf and I break up after 2 and a half years
>much sad
>cute girl and I still talk all the time, she's very happy with her bf but keeps acting strangely
>after breakup with my gf, slept around a lot
>told her about my antics
>she goes all quiet
>is she jealous?
>tells me she's jealous
>season ends at my job, time to move home again
>girl invites me to come and stay with her "and her bf" on my way home
>accept invitation because why not
>2 long train journeys later, arrive at her town
>bf meets me at station as she is still at work
>nice guy, friendly, makes a huge effort even though he doesn't know me but does know how much his girl and I talk
>we bond some, play vidya games, get pizza, could have been pretty good friends in another life

(to be cont'd...)

File: A3A9B48C-853E-4F70-B3C4-E012E0AB2E5E.png (995KB, 1280x960px) Image search: [Google]

995KB, 1280x960px

>>718558598

(cont'd...)

>when she arrives back from work she goes nuts
>jumps up and hugs me
>literally clinging onto me like a koala
>bf watches the whole reaction
>both bf and I clearly feel mega awkward about how happy she is to see me
>don't address it, we haven't seen each other in over a year, it's good to see her too
>we stay at his for a few more hours, play games, watch a film, more pizza
>notice that the two of them are pretty distant from one another
>they sit on opposite ends of the room, don't talk much, no affection
>the three of us go back to hers for the night, there's a blow up mattress on the floor of her bedroom
>I sleep on the mattress, the two of them sleep in her bed, seems fair
>the next day, he gets up and goes to work quite early, she and I are still fast asleep, he's gone when we wake up
>she wakes me up by rolling out of bed onto me
>she plays it off as friendly banter, but she's a girl, so there's definitely more to this than just banter
>she's wearing these pajama shorts that make me diamonds (pic related)
>stretches in front of me with a big yawn, clearly knows I'm watching
>this is fucking insane, she knows exactly what she's doing
>I try to play it cool, act distracted, like I'm still waking up
>she goes to work too
>I spend the day exploring her town, it's a nice place
>that evening the three of us go to the cinema
>haven't been to the cinema in over a year, so I genuinely love it, to the point of forgetting everything she'd done thus far
>after the film we go for drinks, bf has to go home because he was a lecture early the next morning

(to be cont'd)

>>718557186
I could purposely write a story to be as fake as possible and it would still be more believable than this shit.
'supreme court writ'

File: 9660E000-3ED6-45C5-A8DC-C1DD11A770F3.png (906KB, 960x1280px) Image search: [Google]

906KB, 960x1280px

>>718559022

(cont'd)

>we find a table by the window to sit at and have a few drinks
>she is initially sat opposite me, moves to sit next to me after the first glass
>subtlelegtouch.jpg
>end up going back to hers, just us two this time
>planned on sleeping on the blow up mattress anyway because bf is a nice guy
>watching Stranger Things on Netflix
>she keeps using jumpscares or scary moments to snuggle closer into me
>puts one of her legs over me, hand on my chest, head on my shoulder
>finish watching
>still on her bed
>she hasn't moved off me, if anything she's still moving closer
>my heart rate is through the roof
>she notices, keeps asking me if I'm okay
>"yeah I'm fine, tired though"
>she goes to the toilet
>I sit on the edge of the bed and have a word with myself
>when she comes back, wearing the same shorts from the night before, straddles me
>dick is diamonds, she can clearly feel it
>she says she "just wants to cuddle"
>I tell her this is dangerous
>she ignores it
>she kisses me
>we end up not sleeping at all that night

>>718550273

When I was four I killed my deaf aunts poodle by slamming its head repeatedly against, I think a table with a Lego top on it. After, I repeatedly threw it into the air and when it finally collapsed my parents came out to see what the banging was. I am 23 now and still feel bad about it, but my parents should have watched me more.

>>718559353
DAT it?

>>718559353
cont pls

File: 61789582-60EC-459E-AC7F-87128550F55C.png (569KB, 960x1280px) Image search: [Google]

569KB, 960x1280px

>>718559353

>wake up the next morning
>lazymorningsex.jpg
>I feel pretty bad about the whole thing, even if the sex was amazing
>I leave to go home, literally haven't been home since I began my far away job 7 months ago
>she's tearful, reveals she's liked me for years
>"but what about bf?"
>"I'm crazy about you, anon"
>two days later bf goes through her phone and finds our messages, including the pics.
>doesn't break up with her
>they haven't slept together since he found out
>girl and I met up in December last year
>secretly stayed in a hotel near where I live
>literally didn't sleep all night again
>best night ever, too enjoyable to even feel guilty
>fast forward to two weeks ago
>girl tells me she's pregnant.
>fuckfuckfuck
>fast forward to yesterday
>girl miscarries
>her poor bf has no idea, he doesn't deserve this at all
>I didn't even use a disguise
>we are number one

File: WIN_20161130_02_54_28_Pro.jpg (2MB, 3264x1836px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 3264x1836px

>>718559710

(cont'd)

Never mind, he knows apparently. I think this girl might be dating Jesus, he still won't leave her, he just keeps forgiving her.

File: High_quality_bait.png (532KB, 1597x1600px) Image search: [Google]

532KB, 1597x1600px

>>718559710

File: lewd.jpg (257KB, 720x1280px) Image search: [Google]

257KB, 720x1280px

>>718549902
Of course you were...

File: the_necrofurbicon.jpg (96KB, 480x640px) Image search: [Google]

96KB, 480x640px

>>718532717
ok here i go

>4th grade
>jewish school is small so there is only 1 class for every grade
>2th grade has some lil shithead who has a leg that needs some ''rail'' thing on it,
>he never tries to get friends and rather attacks everyone, with that i mean that he even kicks our teachers
>teachers still prefer him over everybody and protect him over every shit he does or happens to him.
>one day i think it was a thursday i played with kids from the 3th grade idk why but he started to kick and scream at them
>i just push him away when he gets close (since we have a tiny school everybody respects 4th graders except him)
>teacher starts screaming at me for pushing and telling me ''that he wants to play''.
>this goes on for half of the breaktime
>i get angry as shit as he started to throw thing at me
>i grab him and fucking threw him to the ground telling him he should stop
>he spits at me
>mercy.exe is not responding
>i start stomping at twice and teacher comes screaming and sends me home,
>suspended for friday yet i need to go to school end to hear butthurt teachers.
>teachers scream and hiss at me while my mother and father dont know what to say until my fathers friend comes in,
>he fucking recorded all what happends
>like almost what happened the last 2 weeks
>it shows how that tard attacked everybody while teachers giving a shit
>teacher are fcking quiet and let me go home
>next week was like nothing ever happened

Produced LSD from LSA and also meth then flushed the first batch and sold the next kek.

>>718542436
Wow
Scary
Much afraid
Wow

>>718550147
Share some "artistic works of fiction" then. I want them for ... writing a book.

>>718560698
This isn't a villain action, you should have broken his leg

>>718559964
Shame really. He's unhappy and she'll either never leave him, or she will but you won't want her. Stupid bitch really, should've broken up with him and had you. She fucked up. So did you a bit but at least you know she's an untrustworthy whore now.

>>718561300
shit i forgot the end part

>some weeks later teachers werent in the building right now
>it was just me, my friend and the fag,
>fucking sparta that guy the stairs down
>his ''rail'' thing broke into 4 pieces even tough it is hard as shit
>when he finally landed i told him i will repeat that daily if he ever told a teacher about this
>when i left the school i was ''remembered'' as the guy not to fuck around with.

>>718532883
that's hot

>>718532989
Oldfag here. That was posted at /r9k/ years ago. Now it's a pasta, but anon who originally posted it said it really happened.

>>718532717
I had my ex gf's baby terminated (wasent mine )
She wanted me back after hurting me like hell
Got pregnant with another dudes kid
>I'll get back with you after abortio.
HFW I told her to fuck off and feel my stored up emotional rage
Shit was cash

>>718560860
fucking normie

>>718561625
Fking good

20 years ago(can't came after me anymore) a nigger sold me a phone that was not working properly on a popular ad website for selling local. I found a couple other of his ad's after I got home and pretended to be a potential buyer. Met with him again at the same park but my homeboy was the one talking since the nigger has already seen my face. This was about 8 pm so the sun was setting and lo and be hold I come out from the park with a weapon and said "you remember me? You sold me a broken phone you fucken nigger." as I jumped his ass and my homeboy taking the product he brought out to sell(worth $400). My homeboy and I ran to a car that was on idle and we drove off. Never saw the nigger again but I can tell you right now he was shaking like a nigger fucker. This is why I hate niggers. true story /b/ro

>>718563311
didnt end there:
i later found out that his father sexually assaulted him and went 4 years into jail, somehow i dont feel pity for him.