[Boards: 3 / a / aco / adv / an / asp / b / bant / biz / c / can / cgl / ck / cm / co / cock / d / diy / e / fa / fap / fit / fitlit / g / gd / gif / h / hc / his / hm / hr / i / ic / int / jp / k / lgbt / lit / m / mlp / mlpol / mo / mtv / mu / n / news / o / out / outsoc / p / po / pol / qa / qst / r / r9k / s / s4s / sci / soc / sp / spa / t / tg / toy / trash / trv / tv / u / v / vg / vint / vip / vp / vr / w / wg / wsg / wsr / x / y ] [Search | Free Show | Home]

Greentext thread. Here is mine: Pic unrelated >Be in 3rd

The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

Thread replies: 118
Thread images: 13

File: 1481669403416.jpg (91KB, 919x960px) Image search: [Google]
1481669403416.jpg
91KB, 919x960px
Greentext thread. Here is mine:
Pic unrelated

>Be in 3rd Grade
>Innocent little shit
>about 5:00PM, having a good night, good meal, gonna watch movie with dad later.
>decide, "fuck it, ima go outside and play with a toy"
>go's outside and play's with a toy
>Bungee Cord
>Has metal ends and i use it as a sword or some shit
>Get bored and connect it to a plant
>pull back hard and fast
>SNAP.lua
>mfw black metal spirals toward my cranium
>blacks out
>opens eyes to see teeth in hand, blood everywhere
>no pain from shock, but getting very scared
>run for help and scream at the top of my lungs

Cont?
>>
Bump?
>>
Sure
>>
>Run screaming for Father or Grandmother
> She is out front
>Dont know that and run inside
>She runs in sees me
>is horrified
>tells me to get off the carpet with the blood
>she is crying
>Dad begins crying
>everyone panicks
>get in the car to go to the hospital.

Cont? gets way better
>>
>>718263478
Why stop now?
>>
>>718263668
Fair enough, will continue in short parts, as it takes long to write it all. Just keep bumping so thread isnt kill
>>
>Dad calls my mother, who is out at a dinner with work friends
>tells her most of the situation
>will not tell her about my face
>even I have yet to see it
>look at rag over my mouth, stained with blood.
>begin to panick, feel very dizzy
>Dad keeps me up, trying to keep me calm, but i can see clear worry in his eyes
>Grandmother is horrified at the whole thing.
>we arive at a shitty second-rate hospital that makes the situation worse?

Anyone like so far?
>>
File: image.jpg (32KB, 465x350px) Image search: [Google]
image.jpg
32KB, 465x350px
Bumperino
>>
>>718264419
yep
>>
File: 1483889957008.jpg (476KB, 2548x1080px) Image search: [Google]
1483889957008.jpg
476KB, 2548x1080px
>>718261444
>>
>As I am being wheeled in (some dude from hospital does it, as if i cant walk) I catch a glimpse of my mangled lip, curled far up my face with horrid lacerations.
>i almost faint
>sits in lobby for two hours, waiting for treatment.
>Mother arrives in hospital, looks at me, and falls to her knees
>My disfigured face was too much to bear.

The worst has yet to come
>>
bruh
>>
good story OP but hurry up pls :(
>>
File: tumblr_o9sx1vrH8h1ubvv1mo1_500.jpg (56KB, 500x333px) Image search: [Google]
tumblr_o9sx1vrH8h1ubvv1mo1_500.jpg
56KB, 500x333px
>>718264419
Yes pls keep going fag
>>
>They finally serve me, as they drug me up.
>unusually talkative for someone with a broken talkie-hole
>must be the drugs
>its always the drugs
>after being drugged, im left there for HOURS.
>By the time they get back, drugs are worn off
>they begin to operate, and i feel the worst pain i have ever felt
>>
inb4 dinosaur
inb4 shitty song lyrics
>>
the end?
>>
>>718265483
moarrrrrrr
>>
C'mon op
>>
>i want to say something, or scream maybe, but at this point, the drugs have worn off, and i dont have the energy to do so
>the agony is intense and i flutter with my conscience
>after what felt like forever it ends
>my family around me, they stare at me crying
What happens next changed a large part of my childhood
>>
OP here, trying to post as fast as i can, just bear with me
>>
this could be the sequel to 127 hours
>>
>>718265483
bump
>>
>>718266031
keep it coming
>>
>>718266031
is this really click bait you are pasting here or what nig? Get on with it christ!
>>
stephen hawking types faster than you faggot
>>
>>718266511
he probably has brain damage from this
>>
>doctors mumble some things to my parents
>i see a glimpse of hope in their eyes, but also worry
>we walk out of hospital, me all bandaged up from most of my face.
>about 7:30
>the carride home is very tense
>not a single word is spoken
>beside the pain, i try to think of something to tell my parents, as they dont know of the bungee cord episode
>they cant know.
>We get home, and walk into the backyard
>Mom says "lets get looking"
>I begin to panic
>>
>>718266511
Coffee spilt on keyboard many times by shit rootmate. Taking up more time
>>
>>718266652
So you got taken to hospital and had surgery an no one asked you what happened? Makes no sense
>>
Bumperino
>>
moarrrrrrrrrr
>>
>Parents finally ask me about the situation after finding bungee cord in the grass
>insist to them that i just tripped on a rock
>they argue that there is no way that could happen, but as i keep arguing. thry have no choice but to believe me.
>after a few minutes of them going around the yard with a flashlight, they come inside
>i asked them what they were looking for
>"these" they say, showing me a few teeth
>they drop them in milk in the hopes that they can be reinstalled like adobe reader
Almost done with part 1
>>
>>718267366
Dubs confirm moar
>>
cont
>>
wait what
>>
Pretty sweet keep going
>>
>parents start taking off clothes on adobe reader
>i watch patiently as the deed is done
>i came after I spat blood onto my cock
>the end
>>
fuck
>>
>>718267628
fuck you faggot that's not the end
>>
>We head in for the night
>i lay in their bed with them and watch a movie, drifting to sleep, as tomorrow will be much more tiring
>i didnt know it yet, but the events of the next day would lead to more tragedy
End of Part 1
Begin Part 2?
>>
>>718267832
Yes nigga, stop asking
>>
this is a painfully boring story. when does the childhood ruin again?
>>
>>718267459
>couple days later
>playing with jimmy from down the block
>asks me what happened to my mouth
>somebody once told me the world was gonna roll me
>I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed
>>
File: starestomatoly.gif (1MB, 320x213px) Image search: [Google]
starestomatoly.gif
1MB, 320x213px
>>718267628
>>
>>718268005
Seriously holy fuck.
4 sentences DAE WANT ME TO KEEP GOING HUH GUYYS?
>>
What would be wrong with posting it all at once so that i can have a few hours of sleep?
>>
>>718268060
fuck you
>>
>>718268152
because it takes him like 5 minutes to post 4 lines
>>
File: 1478824277787.jpg (42KB, 960x684px) Image search: [Google]
1478824277787.jpg
42KB, 960x684px
>>718267832
>>718267459
>>718266652
>something happens
>am I gonna see my face?
>hold on guys
>no
>the next part is where somethings gonna happen that changed everything KEEP WAITING
>>
Part 2: Patterson dentist office: Into the ghetto

>Wake up early and drive far into the depths of Patterson, NJ to meet up with the doctors that are going to plug my teeth back in
>place is really shitty
>mostly indians in office, it is offputting, even to a third grader
>they hop me up on drugs
>leave me alone for hours just like the other place
>this time however, after it wears of and they begin to operate i speak out

Cont?
>>
>>718268469
yesssssssssssssssssss always continue
>>
>>718268469
hurry the fuck up man i dont have all day
>>
>>718268469
holy fucking shit op just tell the story
>>
>>718268469
YES FUCKING CONTINUE YOU'VE ASKED LOOKS 6 TIMES YOU ATTENTION SEEKING FUCK
>>
>>718268469
stop.
asking.
to.
continue.
>>
>>718268469
what happens next?
>>
>>718268753
>>718268744
>>718268657
>>718268649
>>718268569
hai
>>
>>718268823
hai
>>
>>718268823
>hai

Cont?
>>
>>718268469
I have jerked off in the time it has taken you to continue so far.
>>
Ill skip the next few boring parts about the operation, in short, it was very painful
>Doctor tells us that this may work, or the tooth may infect my gums and leave me diseased.
>She also says how this is not a permanent fix, and that im going to need a lot of dental work. she said she will fax everything over to the ortedontist to get me fixed up some
>it never gets recieved and i sit there for weeks without any treatment and im getting an infection
yet it still gets worse
>>
>>718269023
I second this
>>
>>718268469
>The dentist gets up and leaves
>open the door
>get on the floor
>Everybody do the dinosaur
>>
>>718269136
>skips the good part

thats its im out. fuck you and your shit story op
>>
>>718269136
continueeeeeee
>>
>>718268469
Cont

>Indian doctor comes by and starts surgery on my face
>hurts like fuck so I yell
>hits me with a pool sandal
>I stop yelling so I don't get hit again

Cont?
>>
>>718269136
teeth and timestamp or it didnt happen
>>
>Something happened
Guys should I continue? I don't think you want me to
>>
>>718269268
fuck you
>>
Part 3: New York, New York

>Wake up as usual but have a sharp pain in my forehead
>panic
>try to scream mom for help
>the shit kicks in again
>I can't do anything
>this is the part where things really get weird

Cont?
>>
>>718269376
Fuck you op
>>
>>718269311
CONTINUE YES CONTINEU
>>
I'm out. This thread isn't worth it
>>
>>718269136
maybe you could type faster if you used a keyboard instead of an xbox controller
>>
>>718269136
k guys I'll skip to the end because you can't be patient

>die at age 80 having wasted internet retard's time
>mildly worth it
>indian doctor who did my gums surgery gives speech at my funeral
>I am his son

Cont?
>>
>>718269390
fuck it, im off guys
>>
>>718264419
>>Dad calls my mother, who is out at a dinner with work friends

Your mom was fucking her co-worker Jeff, and your dad called her just seconds before she came, ruined her orgasm, as always
>>
>>718269568
not OP
>>
OP I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR THE MEME PUNCHLINE JUST GET TO IT ALREADY FFS
>>
George R.R. Martin writes faster than you
>>
>>718269311
Cont

>Mother walks in from waiting room after hearing me yell
>sees doctor hitting me with sandal
>Mom takes her sandal off and starts hitting doctor
>two nurses beat my mom with sandals, doctotr starts hitting her too
>feel warm liquid on my forehead
>tastes sweet when it runs down to my mouth

Cont?
>>
My bone in my gumline is deteriorating, >getting disease from it
>Starting to lose sanity

>out school for weeks
>never getting fixed
>day by day, its looking grimmer

The final part is coming up, is a bit shorter, but reveals some stuff and is more interestjng. skips a few years.
Also....cont?....
>>
>>718269136
>a licensed dentist performed a temporary fix surgery on my face with a moderate risk for infection
>even though I was in third grade and would probably end up growing all those teeth back anyway

Not only do you post at a rate comparable to someone using a keypad, but none of it is believable anyway. 0/10
>>
File: IMG_0688.jpg (14KB, 352x143px) Image search: [Google]
IMG_0688.jpg
14KB, 352x143px
>mfw OP
>>
>am bungee cable
>dipshit kid lives inside my house
>one day dipshit kid ties me to a plant
>I take out a few of his teeth
>dumbass parents believe his dumb stroy about a rock
>kid looks like Bane now
>>
>>718269996
oh fuck so close yet so far
>>
>>718270064
MORE PLEASE MORE
>>
At this point you are just being a jerk to everyone. Even the people who dedicate their life to shitpost in don't deserve these levels of "Sood I cuntinoo?" Retardation. If people want you to cont after the first post just go.
>>
>>718270179
OP has already lost half of readers anyway.
>>
>>718270309
I would have left too, but daddy didn't molest no quitter
>>
Abandon thread.
>>
>>
At the altar of my wedding <still missing teeth and my jaw is infected
>Do you take Susan to be your lawfully wedded wife?
>I can't talk because my jaw fell off
>gurgle affirmatively
>she leans in to kiss, I back away

I'll skip a few years to get to the really good part
>>
Part three: The end

Ill make this brief
>Skips a few years
>am 14
>go to dentist
>denitst says
>ey mayne, this tooth should have never went in you lil shit
>somwthing eith the bonds
>fml
>gets it removed
>get braces
>fined much money until broke
>lived on streets for a few months
>done.
I just wantwd to finish since this is slow as fuck
also
Do door
Floor to the soar
Boar in dino tinorpore
the end
>>
>>718270698
This story was taking too long, this is the ending, though it is shit
>>
>>718270698
You should be publicly hanged.
>>
>>718270698
I wasted 15 minutes of my precious time for this faggotry.
>>
Ill repost this in a thread later, but cleaned up, and less faglike
>>
>>718270698
>>718270698
This gave me terminal cancer
>>
>>718271095
take this horseshit back to tumblr
>>
>Do door
>Floor to the soar
>Boar in dino tinorpore
>>
File: tumblr_nsxtrzz6Qw1rtnqlxo1_500.jpg (60KB, 500x500px) Image search: [Google]
tumblr_nsxtrzz6Qw1rtnqlxo1_500.jpg
60KB, 500x500px
Guess I'll chime in with my recent experience

(8 years ago)
>Be me, 15
>Make cool guy friend as sophomore
>He teaches me to play the guitar
>Hung out outside of school, met his family, cool people
>Told his mom I "hated school" during my little teen phase
>Weren't allowed to be friends and lost contact
(4 years later)
>See unfamiliar femanon on fb, "Who's this?"
>It's him.jpg
>Going through gender reassignment surgery
>Begin asking questions
>"Uhh, Don't wanna talk about it"
>Prude as fuck about it, but whatever
>Guy who taught me guitar is now girl who taught me guitar, that's fine.
(4 more years later [last night])
>Fucking be me, still
>Enjoying a fap-aroonie on fetlife
>Lookin' at all the cute local chix (some of whom I know)
>"Hey, I know [femanon's new preferred name] hmm, sounds familiar"
>Look at it, of course
And there it was, /b/

>My old best friend's honkin', huge dong flopping about like an erratic eel
>dressed like a sissy femboy

Anyone else experience some shit like this?

(pic related, it's from his tumblr, fetlife pics weren't that good)
>>
File: IMG_3847.jpg (3KB, 105x77px) Image search: [Google]
IMG_3847.jpg
3KB, 105x77px
>>718270698
I don't even know what to believe anymore
>>
>>718270698
I skimmed this thread and you're an enormous faggot

You didn't even waste more than one or two minutes of my time, but seriously, fuck you

You're the cancer that's killed /b/
>>
>>718270152
>Faggot gets disfigured for the rest of his life
>kek
>Toy that he violated me with died upon impact
>faggots parents take me inside
>Leave me on their table for a bit
>Faggot comes downstairs and takes me back to his room two days later
>shoves me up his pooper
>crusty.jpg
Cont?
>>
>>718272785
YES YES
>>
File: b8.png (27KB, 527x409px) Image search: [Google]
b8.png
27KB, 527x409px
B8??
>>
>be plant
>have toys
>have pet humans
>tiny pet human decides to play with my toys
>kid wants to play with me but doesnt know how
>he fukking stupidly ties it to me
dontfukkingtouchmeulittleshit.jpg
>he reks his face with my toy
>i chuckle
>>
>be chadrock
>minding own business, talking to some rockettes
>hear a commotion
>some faggot walks past with bungee cord
>fuckingnormies.gif
>flirting with rockette, go back to her mound of dirt
>fuckyes.jpg
>fuck her sweet rock poon
>bust a pebble so hard that Dwayne Johnson wanna find me
>post orgasm crash at her place
Cont?
>>
File: erect my penis.jpg (520KB, 2548x1080px) Image search: [Google]
erect my penis.jpg
520KB, 2548x1080px
>>718264989
>censored version

kill yourself
>>
>>718274496
Pls anon
>>
File: image.jpg (88KB, 571x464px) Image search: [Google]
image.jpg
88KB, 571x464px
Tried this one once before. No one seemed to care

>be me
>working at Krystal's
>first job
>hate it
>boss gives me a can of Lysol
>says "go clean the bathrooms"
>enter women's bathroom
>man, fuck this
>get great idea
>pull out lighter
>proceed to use Lysol can to make fire
>get really into it and pretend like I'm fighting off an army of people and dragons and shit
>lady walks in, looks at me in terror as I make fire and walks right back out
>continue to make fire until the can is empty
>don't even attempt to clean bathrooms
>after running out of fire I return to the kitchen
>boss looks pissed
>get fired (no pun intended)
>go to parking lot to wait on ride
>set my Krystal hat on fire while waiting
>mfw lady walked in on me in the bathroom
>no regrets
>>
>>718275071
6/10 chickle
>>
>>718275071
that's fucked up dude
>>
>>718274496
>>718274953

>faggot ties bungee cord to plantbro
>plantbro knocks him out bc fuck gay rights
>fucked got rekt
>ff a day
>faggot comes back with its parents
>probably a cuckold no way the little shitskin is the offspring of two white supremacists
>faggot blames his injuries on me
>oshit it's the fuzz
>shoot up rock school
>suicide by police
>>
literally the worst greentexter in the history of 4chan
>>
>be me

cont?
Thread posts: 118
Thread images: 13


[Boards: 3 / a / aco / adv / an / asp / b / bant / biz / c / can / cgl / ck / cm / co / cock / d / diy / e / fa / fap / fit / fitlit / g / gd / gif / h / hc / his / hm / hr / i / ic / int / jp / k / lgbt / lit / m / mlp / mlpol / mo / mtv / mu / n / news / o / out / outsoc / p / po / pol / qa / qst / r / r9k / s / s4s / sci / soc / sp / spa / t / tg / toy / trash / trv / tv / u / v / vg / vint / vip / vp / vr / w / wg / wsg / wsr / x / y] [Search | Top | Home]

I'm aware that Imgur.com will stop allowing adult images since 15th of May. I'm taking actions to backup as much data as possible.
Read more on this topic here - https://archived.moe/talk/thread/1694/


If you need a post removed click on it's [Report] button and follow the instruction.
DMCA Content Takedown via dmca.com
All images are hosted on imgur.com.
If you like this website please support us by donating with Bitcoins at 16mKtbZiwW52BLkibtCr8jUg2KVUMTxVQ5
All trademarks and copyrights on this page are owned by their respective parties.
Images uploaded are the responsibility of the Poster. Comments are owned by the Poster.
This is a 4chan archive - all of the content originated from that site.
This means that RandomArchive shows their content, archived.
If you need information for a Poster - contact them.