Greentext thread. Here is mine:
Pic unrelated
>Be in 3rd Grade
>Innocent little shit
>about 5:00PM, having a good night, good meal, gonna watch movie with dad later.
>decide, "fuck it, ima go outside and play with a toy"
>go's outside and play's with a toy
>Bungee Cord
>Has metal ends and i use it as a sword or some shit
>Get bored and connect it to a plant
>pull back hard and fast
>SNAP.lua
>mfw black metal spirals toward my cranium
>blacks out
>opens eyes to see teeth in hand, blood everywhere
>no pain from shock, but getting very scared
>run for help and scream at the top of my lungs
Cont?
Bump?
Sure
>Run screaming for Father or Grandmother
> She is out front
>Dont know that and run inside
>She runs in sees me
>is horrified
>tells me to get off the carpet with the blood
>she is crying
>Dad begins crying
>everyone panicks
>get in the car to go to the hospital.
Cont? gets way better
>>718263478
Why stop now?
>>718263668
Fair enough, will continue in short parts, as it takes long to write it all. Just keep bumping so thread isnt kill
>Dad calls my mother, who is out at a dinner with work friends
>tells her most of the situation
>will not tell her about my face
>even I have yet to see it
>look at rag over my mouth, stained with blood.
>begin to panick, feel very dizzy
>Dad keeps me up, trying to keep me calm, but i can see clear worry in his eyes
>Grandmother is horrified at the whole thing.
>we arive at a shitty second-rate hospital that makes the situation worse?
Anyone like so far?
Bumperino
>>718264419
yep
>>718261444
>As I am being wheeled in (some dude from hospital does it, as if i cant walk) I catch a glimpse of my mangled lip, curled far up my face with horrid lacerations.
>i almost faint
>sits in lobby for two hours, waiting for treatment.
>Mother arrives in hospital, looks at me, and falls to her knees
>My disfigured face was too much to bear.
The worst has yet to come
bruh
good story OP but hurry up pls :(
>>718264419
Yes pls keep going fag
>They finally serve me, as they drug me up.
>unusually talkative for someone with a broken talkie-hole
>must be the drugs
>its always the drugs
>after being drugged, im left there for HOURS.
>By the time they get back, drugs are worn off
>they begin to operate, and i feel the worst pain i have ever felt
inb4 dinosaur
inb4 shitty song lyrics
the end?
>>718265483
moarrrrrrr
C'mon op
>i want to say something, or scream maybe, but at this point, the drugs have worn off, and i dont have the energy to do so
>the agony is intense and i flutter with my conscience
>after what felt like forever it ends
>my family around me, they stare at me crying
What happens next changed a large part of my childhood
OP here, trying to post as fast as i can, just bear with me
this could be the sequel to 127 hours
>>718265483
bump
>>718266031
keep it coming
>>718266031
is this really click bait you are pasting here or what nig? Get on with it christ!
stephen hawking types faster than you faggot
>>718266511
he probably has brain damage from this
>doctors mumble some things to my parents
>i see a glimpse of hope in their eyes, but also worry
>we walk out of hospital, me all bandaged up from most of my face.
>about 7:30
>the carride home is very tense
>not a single word is spoken
>beside the pain, i try to think of something to tell my parents, as they dont know of the bungee cord episode
>they cant know.
>We get home, and walk into the backyard
>Mom says "lets get looking"
>I begin to panic
>>718266511
Coffee spilt on keyboard many times by shit rootmate. Taking up more time
>>718266652
So you got taken to hospital and had surgery an no one asked you what happened? Makes no sense
Bumperino
moarrrrrrrrrr
>Parents finally ask me about the situation after finding bungee cord in the grass
>insist to them that i just tripped on a rock
>they argue that there is no way that could happen, but as i keep arguing. thry have no choice but to believe me.
>after a few minutes of them going around the yard with a flashlight, they come inside
>i asked them what they were looking for
>"these" they say, showing me a few teeth
>they drop them in milk in the hopes that they can be reinstalled like adobe reader
Almost done with part 1
>>718267366
Dubs confirm moar
cont
wait what
Pretty sweet keep going
>parents start taking off clothes on adobe reader
>i watch patiently as the deed is done
>i came after I spat blood onto my cock
>the end
fuck
>>718267628
fuck you faggot that's not the end
>We head in for the night
>i lay in their bed with them and watch a movie, drifting to sleep, as tomorrow will be much more tiring
>i didnt know it yet, but the events of the next day would lead to more tragedy
End of Part 1
Begin Part 2?
>>718267832
Yes nigga, stop asking
this is a painfully boring story. when does the childhood ruin again?
>>718267459
>couple days later
>playing with jimmy from down the block
>asks me what happened to my mouth
>somebody once told me the world was gonna roll me
>I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed
>>718267628
>>718268005
Seriously holy fuck.
4 sentences DAE WANT ME TO KEEP GOING HUH GUYYS?
What would be wrong with posting it all at once so that i can have a few hours of sleep?
>>718268060
fuck you
>>718268152
because it takes him like 5 minutes to post 4 lines
>>718267832
>>718267459
>>718266652
>something happens
>am I gonna see my face?
>hold on guys
>no
>the next part is where somethings gonna happen that changed everything KEEP WAITING
Part 2: Patterson dentist office: Into the ghetto
>Wake up early and drive far into the depths of Patterson, NJ to meet up with the doctors that are going to plug my teeth back in
>place is really shitty
>mostly indians in office, it is offputting, even to a third grader
>they hop me up on drugs
>leave me alone for hours just like the other place
>this time however, after it wears of and they begin to operate i speak out
Cont?
>>718268469
yesssssssssssssssssss always continue
>>718268469
hurry the fuck up man i dont have all day
>>718268469
holy fucking shit op just tell the story
>>718268469
YES FUCKING CONTINUE YOU'VE ASKED LOOKS 6 TIMES YOU ATTENTION SEEKING FUCK
>>718268469
stop.
asking.
to.
continue.
>>718268469
what happens next?
>>718268823
hai
>>718268823
>hai
Cont?
>>718268469
I have jerked off in the time it has taken you to continue so far.
Ill skip the next few boring parts about the operation, in short, it was very painful
>Doctor tells us that this may work, or the tooth may infect my gums and leave me diseased.
>She also says how this is not a permanent fix, and that im going to need a lot of dental work. she said she will fax everything over to the ortedontist to get me fixed up some
>it never gets recieved and i sit there for weeks without any treatment and im getting an infection
yet it still gets worse
>>718269023
I second this
>>718268469
>The dentist gets up and leaves
>open the door
>get on the floor
>Everybody do the dinosaur
>>718269136
>skips the good part
thats its im out. fuck you and your shit story op
>>718269136
continueeeeeee
>>718268469
Cont
>Indian doctor comes by and starts surgery on my face
>hurts like fuck so I yell
>hits me with a pool sandal
>I stop yelling so I don't get hit again
Cont?
>>718269136
teeth and timestamp or it didnt happen
>Something happened
Guys should I continue? I don't think you want me to
>>718269268
fuck you
Part 3: New York, New York
>Wake up as usual but have a sharp pain in my forehead
>panic
>try to scream mom for help
>the shit kicks in again
>I can't do anything
>this is the part where things really get weird
Cont?
>>718269376
Fuck you op
>>718269311
CONTINUE YES CONTINEU
I'm out. This thread isn't worth it
>>718269136
maybe you could type faster if you used a keyboard instead of an xbox controller
>>718269136
k guys I'll skip to the end because you can't be patient
>die at age 80 having wasted internet retard's time
>mildly worth it
>indian doctor who did my gums surgery gives speech at my funeral
>I am his son
Cont?
>>718269390
fuck it, im off guys
>>718264419
>>Dad calls my mother, who is out at a dinner with work friends
Your mom was fucking her co-worker Jeff, and your dad called her just seconds before she came, ruined her orgasm, as always
>>718269568
not OP
OP I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR THE MEME PUNCHLINE JUST GET TO IT ALREADY FFS
George R.R. Martin writes faster than you
>>718269311
Cont
>Mother walks in from waiting room after hearing me yell
>sees doctor hitting me with sandal
>Mom takes her sandal off and starts hitting doctor
>two nurses beat my mom with sandals, doctotr starts hitting her too
>feel warm liquid on my forehead
>tastes sweet when it runs down to my mouth
Cont?
My bone in my gumline is deteriorating, >getting disease from it
>Starting to lose sanity
>out school for weeks
>never getting fixed
>day by day, its looking grimmer
The final part is coming up, is a bit shorter, but reveals some stuff and is more interestjng. skips a few years.
Also....cont?....
>>718269136
>a licensed dentist performed a temporary fix surgery on my face with a moderate risk for infection
>even though I was in third grade and would probably end up growing all those teeth back anyway
Not only do you post at a rate comparable to someone using a keypad, but none of it is believable anyway. 0/10
>mfw OP
>am bungee cable
>dipshit kid lives inside my house
>one day dipshit kid ties me to a plant
>I take out a few of his teeth
>dumbass parents believe his dumb stroy about a rock
>kid looks like Bane now
>>718269996
oh fuck so close yet so far
>>718270064
MORE PLEASE MORE
At this point you are just being a jerk to everyone. Even the people who dedicate their life to shitpost in don't deserve these levels of "Sood I cuntinoo?" Retardation. If people want you to cont after the first post just go.
>>718270179
OP has already lost half of readers anyway.
>>718270309
I would have left too, but daddy didn't molest no quitter
Abandon thread.
At the altar of my wedding <still missing teeth and my jaw is infected
>Do you take Susan to be your lawfully wedded wife?
>I can't talk because my jaw fell off
>gurgle affirmatively
>she leans in to kiss, I back away
I'll skip a few years to get to the really good part
Part three: The end
Ill make this brief
>Skips a few years
>am 14
>go to dentist
>denitst says
>ey mayne, this tooth should have never went in you lil shit
>somwthing eith the bonds
>fml
>gets it removed
>get braces
>fined much money until broke
>lived on streets for a few months
>done.
I just wantwd to finish since this is slow as fuck
also
Do door
Floor to the soar
Boar in dino tinorpore
the end
>>718270698
This story was taking too long, this is the ending, though it is shit
>>718270698
You should be publicly hanged.
>>718270698
I wasted 15 minutes of my precious time for this faggotry.
Ill repost this in a thread later, but cleaned up, and less faglike
>>718270698
>>718270698
This gave me terminal cancer
>>718271095
take this horseshit back to tumblr
>Do door
>Floor to the soar
>Boar in dino tinorpore
Guess I'll chime in with my recent experience
(8 years ago)
>Be me, 15
>Make cool guy friend as sophomore
>He teaches me to play the guitar
>Hung out outside of school, met his family, cool people
>Told his mom I "hated school" during my little teen phase
>Weren't allowed to be friends and lost contact
(4 years later)
>See unfamiliar femanon on fb, "Who's this?"
>It's him.jpg
>Going through gender reassignment surgery
>Begin asking questions
>"Uhh, Don't wanna talk about it"
>Prude as fuck about it, but whatever
>Guy who taught me guitar is now girl who taught me guitar, that's fine.
(4 more years later [last night])
>Fucking be me, still
>Enjoying a fap-aroonie on fetlife
>Lookin' at all the cute local chix (some of whom I know)
>"Hey, I know [femanon's new preferred name] hmm, sounds familiar"
>Look at it, of course
And there it was, /b/
>My old best friend's honkin', huge dong flopping about like an erratic eel
>dressed like a sissy femboy
Anyone else experience some shit like this?
(pic related, it's from his tumblr, fetlife pics weren't that good)
>>718270698
I don't even know what to believe anymore
>>718270698
I skimmed this thread and you're an enormous faggot
You didn't even waste more than one or two minutes of my time, but seriously, fuck you
You're the cancer that's killed /b/
>>718270152
>Faggot gets disfigured for the rest of his life
>kek
>Toy that he violated me with died upon impact
>faggots parents take me inside
>Leave me on their table for a bit
>Faggot comes downstairs and takes me back to his room two days later
>shoves me up his pooper
>crusty.jpg
Cont?
>>718272785
YES YES
B8??
>be plant
>have toys
>have pet humans
>tiny pet human decides to play with my toys
>kid wants to play with me but doesnt know how
>he fukking stupidly ties it to me
dontfukkingtouchmeulittleshit.jpg
>he reks his face with my toy
>i chuckle
>be chadrock
>minding own business, talking to some rockettes
>hear a commotion
>some faggot walks past with bungee cord
>fuckingnormies.gif
>flirting with rockette, go back to her mound of dirt
>fuckyes.jpg
>fuck her sweet rock poon
>bust a pebble so hard that Dwayne Johnson wanna find me
>post orgasm crash at her place
Cont?
>>718264989
>censored version
kill yourself
>>718274496
Pls anon
Tried this one once before. No one seemed to care
>be me
>working at Krystal's
>first job
>hate it
>boss gives me a can of Lysol
>says "go clean the bathrooms"
>enter women's bathroom
>man, fuck this
>get great idea
>pull out lighter
>proceed to use Lysol can to make fire
>get really into it and pretend like I'm fighting off an army of people and dragons and shit
>lady walks in, looks at me in terror as I make fire and walks right back out
>continue to make fire until the can is empty
>don't even attempt to clean bathrooms
>after running out of fire I return to the kitchen
>boss looks pissed
>get fired (no pun intended)
>go to parking lot to wait on ride
>set my Krystal hat on fire while waiting
>mfw lady walked in on me in the bathroom
>no regrets
>>718275071
6/10 chickle
>>718275071
that's fucked up dude
>>718274496
>>718274953
>faggot ties bungee cord to plantbro
>plantbro knocks him out bc fuck gay rights
>fucked got rekt
>ff a day
>faggot comes back with its parents
>probably a cuckold no way the little shitskin is the offspring of two white supremacists
>faggot blames his injuries on me
>oshit it's the fuzz
>shoot up rock school
>suicide by police
literally the worst greentexter in the history of 4chan
>be me
cont?