mine: >be me >be in 6th grade >be 2009 >there is this autistic kid named Lennon (his real name, no lie) >he is clearly autistic, but he denies it >he is annoying >in P.E. one day he starts rolling around on the floor and hisses when people get close to him >he continued to do this for the rest of the year >a few days after he started, the coach stopped caring and started ignoring him >he got away with rolling around for an hour a day because of this, I fucking hate him >one day, he got an iPhone 3 >the school gave out free internet to people with phones >that day, he started dancing >we got closer, he was dancing to video game music... >the way he was dancing is so AUTISTIC >he was head banging to the video game music >clenching his hands with beat drops and flailing his arms >he also continued to do this for the rest of the year >one day, a group of girls started recording this display of autism >he noticed them >and they were laughing >he noticed that too >instantly, autistic rage mode activated >he screamed "STOP LAUUUUGHING! I HAVE THE RIGHT TO DANCE TO MUSIC TOOOO! I AM A PERSON!" >no he isn't, kek >people with autism aren't people >people started making fun of him to his face at that point, it originally was behind his back >I joined in this fun >I started fucking burn his retarded ass >I stated that him and his 3 chromosomes need to leave and never come back >autistic rage mode x100 activated >he got so pissed he started crying and his face was red as a tomato >he started screaming so loud, and at one point he has nothing to say and started screaming random syllables >he ran away and started bawling >ultimatekek.jpg >people made fun of him so much he went all school shooter one day >he snapped at the teacher when he got caught trying to talk to someone while the teacher was teaching (the person didn't wanna talk to him, he has 0 friends) >teacher started yelling at him >wtfareyoudoingnigger.mp4 character limit reached, i'll cont.
>>717712809 >Lennon goes full autist and screams at teacher >Lennon calls teacher a bitch >teacher says "that's it, to the principle's office, you are DONE" >Lennon starts fucking bawling, and I hear him mumble while crying "OH NO, I AM GONNA GET EXPELLED AND MY MOM IS GONNA BEAT ME SOME MORE!" >after hearing that his mom beats him I started fucking cracking up >I get in trouble and teacher yells "THAT'S NOT FUNNY" >I got in more trouble than Lennon did >fml >mfw
>>717713043 >>717713090 >>717713130 This story did end pretty funny, it was funny to me. Everything except for the part where I GOT IN MORE TROUBLE THAN THE AUTISTIC KID.
>be at friend's house >friend has autistic sibling >autistic sibling is bigger than me >tackles me >ohfuck.webm >I hit friend's sibling >sibling has black eye >friend unfriends me >rumor gets spread I beat retarded people
My story is short and sucky. Still better than OP's.
>>717714952 OH LOOK, we got a special snowflake schizo, should we be nice to you? You think shit that is fake is real? You hear voices in your head? Good for you, kill yourself, you aren't normal. Anyone with any mental issues should kill themselves, they aren't normal. You will never be normal, I doubt your meds are perfect.
>>717715298 hey OP, I know you got butthurt by all the mean comments. We know you hate your autism and this is your autistic way of fighting it. just go to your safe-space and take your meds, autism isn't the end friendo. You can still live a somewhat happy life. Godspeed Op, I hope your autism will be cured one day.
>>717712809 My retard story: >be me >see tard thread on /b/, come for some laughs >OP posts a long, pointless, and unfunny story >written with the skills of a D+ average 6th grader >OP shows obvious signs of low intelligence >thread now has an actual tard story, starring OP
>>717712809 Holy fuck that was cringe. Not the kid in your story, but you OP.
There was no funny turn of events there. There was no clever ruse. It was just some dweeb acting weird and another dweeb acting edgy about it.
Where it starts to get sad is that you do not understand the difference between satire and just insulting someone. It's the main reason your joke misfired. The saddest part is you probably never will, and that may actually distinguish you from Lennon, weird as he may be.
≻ Be in 8th grade ≻ Be standing in line for lunch, a huge line snaking around the cafeteria ≻ I'm standing next to the tard's table -- 8 tards and 2 wranglers eating lunch ≻ I'm in exactly the right spot to see something worrisome... ≻ ...some brown liquid seeping down a fat tard girl's leg ≻ The brown liquid is now pooling on the floor under the retard table ≻ Then suddenly comes a horrid overpowering stench ≻ One wrangler stands up and starts looking around, WTF style ≻ He can't see under the table like I can, so he's clueless ≻ People in line start coughing and choking, like a nerve gas attack ≻ The fat tard girl is unaffected by the stench -- she keeps eating lunch ≻ The stench makes some students start fleeing the line, chaos reigns ≻ Thank god I get to move quickly up in line now, away from the stench ≻ A girl eating lunch next to the tard table pukes from the stench ≻ Various cafeteria personnel now arrive on the scene ≻ Nobody knows WTF to do ≻ I have the knowledge of the cause, but I keep it to myself... ≻ ...because I have no intention of going back to that stench to tell them ≻ The wranglers finally locate the cause ≻ They escort the fat tard girl out the door... ≻ ...her whole lower half steeped in brown liquid... ≻ ...leaving a brown trail on the floor as they go ≻ I see the fat tard girl's face... ≻ ...with a calm smile, still contentedly munching on food
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