>Walk into your house
>You find Emma Watson standing there
Tell her to grab a beer out of the fridge for me and pop a squat on my face.
get down on my knees and gently jerk off onto her perfect toes
The next time you lust over an image, or the idea of having sex with an amazingly beautiful woman such as sweet Emma here, I want you to realise something, and picture this the next time you fap over the created memory of your coitus;
At some stage in her life, she's been sat on the toilet for at least 20 minutes, straining like fuck to squeeze out a massive turd, taking a deep breath and clenching her stomach muscles in an attempt to put some pressure behind the huge, stodgy stool of digested food and stomach acids that is currently forcing her anus to painfully widen. Then there's that small spiky bit of shit that pokes out the side and scratches the side of her rectum as she strains, bringing tears to her eyes, so she shifts to one side and tugs on a cheek to make it a little easier for the painful piece to pass.
Then it snaps, and the gigantic depth charge plunges into the water, splashing her arse cheeks with pissy and shitty water, but she can't relax as the turd is still halfway out, and if she unclenches, she just known it'll vanish back up her arsehole like a botfly larvae.
Finally the solid shit passes, but is immediately followed by the newer, softer shit which splurts out of her rectum like someone paint-spraying a fence in a cacophony of loud noises and a stomach-emptying stench that clings to the walls and won't shift for hours
Now she's finished, she takes the pressure off her knees, groaning as her spine rights self, having been arched over for so long. She grabs some paper and wipes, but it was messier down there then she thought, and she realises too late she's just spread liquid shit all over the inside of her butt cheeks and near her vaginal entrance, and it takes another 20 sheets and 10 wipes before she can be sure it's all gone.
Then of course, it's another 5 minutes at the sink trying to get all the shit out from under her fingernails.
*close all tabs*
>Oh hi there, I loved you in Harry Potter.
The resemblence is uncanny
it's gay enough to do this alone, but doing it with another person?