>>717508297 >ive witnessed two murders >ive been in 4 high speed car crashes >ive worked in 4 different countries >ive had sex with multiple partners of both genders without ever having worn a condom and have never contracted an sti >i have over dosed on heroin and morphine multiple times and have suffered no brain damage or serious liver damage
>>717510062 the type of work i do most concerns pipelines. we use a variety of different tools to access the amount of damage done to the line from trauma or just aging. i got the job by doing the required courses and hours of training through BCIT, i had a few contacts at RTD from when i worked on the pipelines in northern alberta.
>>717508297 In High-School, I organized and setup a book drive for a Native American reservation who built a new library but were having trouble filling it with books. I wanted to do something good for some people, figured I would get a hundred books or so. I dedicated my efforts, really pushed and organized, one thing led to another and before I know it I was organizing a multi-town effort or collections and donations over the period of a month. Ended up with over 6000 books, had to all be drove up multiple U-Halls. I have one of the small wings in the library dedicated to me, very few people know about my involvement other than my parents, and a couple friends. Not to sound like a faggot, but I never really found the need to tell people and wanted to keep it my involvement low-key. One of the prouder things I've done in my life.
I once masturbated in a GCSE exam which is an important exam you take when you are 16 here in the UK. I was sat on the back row and stroked my dick through my pocket to cum and it was one of the best orgasms I've ever had. Took so long to get there because the room was deathly silent and there was about 200 people sitting in front of me but it was well worth it. It made a mess in my trousers but luckily I had a large blazer on that could hide it. I just hope no one smelled it.
>>717508297 I've been hit by 3 cars, shot once, I shook hands with Mike Tyson, and I once stopped a rape in progress by throwing snowballs at the fucker and then chasing him a block and a half while simultaneously stripping my clothes off and drunkenly yelling "It's your turn, dirtbag!"
Needless to say, he got away and I got to smash on a rape victim. Consentually, of course. I may be unstoppable, but I am, and will always be, a gentleman.
>>717509086 Literally none of those are outrageous or ridiculous. When you're a degenerate heroin addict, it would be outrageous or ridiculous if you didn't witness any murders, been on any car crashes or fucked a bunch of people. Try again.
>>717512076 When I was that age I used to enjoy jerking off in strange and risky places. I used to do it in class pretty regularly before I could actually jizz anything, I used to just like itch the end of my cock through my blazer pocket. Thinking back it was really fucked up but hey, we all do weird things as kids, right?
> I'm a stripper > I'm also a high-end courtesan > I earn $1000+/day > I have threesomes a few times a week > I'm actually a lesbian, men are only good for clients > I actually love my job > I don't drink alcohol or use drugs at all > I'll be able to retire comfortably by the time I'm 40
>Be me >work in fast food >fix computers on the side >mfw someone traded me a Mac Pro with dual Xeon and 24GB RAM to fix their shitty iMac >alrightsure Probably the only interesting thing I've ever had happen to me.
>>717508297 >ive wrecked 2 motorcycles doing triple digits with no bodly damage besides bruises >only ever had 1 real relationship >never had a real job for more then a week >I turn to stealing for income because its just easier for me. >I am white
>>717513143 I am very well educated. I wanted to be a doctor, lol. I couldn't afford medical school. By the time I had enough money doing adult entertainment, I realized I was content where I am. No, my friends don't know, nobody understands the reality of being a sex worker, it's not at all like the stigma... and it's easiest not to answer their questions. I don't have any family.
>>717508297 >im a professional hacker >can type over 2.5 words a second or 150wordsPerMinute >Make over 200 Dollars a day doing HacksForHire and selling shit to other hackers >Have pending job offer for top tier networking company >am only 24
I set a firework off up my butt and now I have to shit through a tube... I can't afford a carer because then I couldn't afford food, I guess I could eat my carer... Hope trump doesnt get rid of all the undocumented immigrants...
>be me >posts on thread on things about myself that are actually true but people would never believe if I told them >predictably gets told to prove it >someone has totally missed the entire point of this thread
>>717513969 In a way. When I heard that my former highschool would be doing all future yearbooks digitally as well, i went back and found a vuln in their website, which lead directly to the emails of some of girls i used to go to school with. Some of them ironically still had the same password (highschool was almost 6 years ago for me) Some of the emails hadnt been touched mind you in years but i still managed to find some nudes and juicy personal information on some golden girls.
I've shot dope, crack, flakka, ate zannies, ended up, with cops in my face with guns, walked for,hours, slept on a park bench, got punched in the face and thought I walked into a wall. Umm, bought the crack and heron from some nig and then he stole,my money. Niggers are niggers no matter what
I jumped out of an airplane once and hit the ground at god knows how fast. I mean i dont really have a viable way of measuring how far i was when my parachute fucked up or how fast i was going but I landed somewhere over the coast of ireland in a big meadow. That was 8 years ago. Originally intended on it being a sky diving trip
>>717515043 It isn't really all that far fetched is it? Maybe a little unbelievable but it wasn't something I decided to do overnight. I worked for a year after college as a machinist and lived at home to save up the money. I have tons of pics but obviously not posting them on this retarded ass site.
>>717508297 >I've come face to face with North Korean soldiers >I've fucked over 30 prostitutes >I've lost so much weight, that my body won't lose any more without risking serious injury >I've been abducted by aliens twice First the Reptilians, then the Pleiadians
I can understand a persons drive and spirit after a few moments with them. During my life, everytine, I have been right in my assesments of the people around me and have accurately predicted their actions. I can make my friends with all and none, I could get any woman I want but Im a virgin. My father taught me how to use weakness in others, and my mother showed me how to make others vulnerable to me. I want to die, for I am everyones friend and no ones, I know secrets of all friends around me but they know nothing of me. I want to die. I want to die.
>>717514908 Theres no magical way to just "hack" an email.
Hacking is all about knowing where information is stored, and how to get to it.
However, a lot of people are stupid, and have the same password for almost everything.
For example, you might be able to find someone you know on facebook, and they have their email posted somewhere. From there you google that email address and find other websites or media they are connected to. Lets say for the sake of argument they're registered on some shitty forum website. Many forums like ipBoard, vBulletin, etc, all share common consistent and similar vulnerabilities. This means even two totally different websites with the same forum software might be vulnerable to the same method of exploitation. From there, you could get in, find the users information, and see if its duplicated anywhere else.
Its a long and painful process sometimes. This is called doxing.
Im sharing of course from personal experience. I have a few good methods i suppose you could call them. I often post fake websites with some fake video for my friends on facebook, but what happens is when they click on it, anyone whos not using an updated version of flash gets infected with a little browser injection. None of my friends on facebook know about this.
>Tl;dr, you dont just "hack" it. You have to find it from somewhere.
>im 25 >all three of the girls I've dated since I turned 23 have had their houses burn down within a month of dating me >people think it was me >had nothing to do with it, all causes of fires have been solved and all were accidents >literally have no clue why this is happening to me >people think I'm a pyro.
>>717515694 The first time, I 'woke up' during and saw myself getting probed by them. I woke up with ass pains as if something fairly large had been inserted in there. The second time, I wasn't probed, but I woke up on top of my blankets and facing the opposite direction. It was shortly before dawn. I looked out of my window and saw a VERY bright object briefly in the sky before it disappeared.
>>717515253 I just meant normie lifestyle. I should/could have been so much more. I should be making 6 figures and have 2-4 degrees. But instead I fix PCs for bankers and shit, live in a tiny apartment, and have a fat ugly gf that I don't like fucking.
>>717508297 I have been shot twice, once in the head, stabbed, hit with a cinder block in the face, beat with a baseball bat, beat with a hammer, crashed a street bike in an alleyway going about 135mph and only dislocated my elbow, crashed a car off a cliff and rolled 18 times just 10 feet from a small river and didn't get a scratch, shot a nail through my hand doing framing, the skin on my knuckles is fused to the bones because of punching a kid in the face who had braces, shot 15 rounds into a house full of people because one of the shot bear mace at me. I'm only 27 years old, and last but not least, pointed a loaded gun at a group of cops standing outside my door and got away with probation. Wew lad.
>>717516994 I don't do drugs and I lived in a mostly white area/neighborhood.
>>717517121 And came face to face with North Korean troops (not actors), which is more than what most of anyone else in here can say they've done. You people like to talk of North Korea, but you've yet to see it with your own eyes and I doubt most of you could even locate it on an unmarked map. >most, not all
>>717515379 First one was with some creepy pastor's doomsday cult since she was three cause of her parents
Second was an ex moonie
Third got expelled from high school after she started a cult around some made up alternate reality where they were all elves or something because one of the members thought that becoming an hero would reincarnate her as her elfsona. Didn't go through with it but spilled the beans and ratted my ex out.
>>717517059 >when life is just begging you to kill your worthless self >dropping hints literally left and right >but too retarded to just an hero so continue to live a shitty stress-filled existence >contributing literally nothing to the world
>>717517417 the point is youre literally surrounded by clocks all the time why the fuck do you need a watch? you dont have to be in a car 24/7 but the average person spends a decent amount of time driving around. theres clocks in literally every store you go into. theres clocks fucking everywhere. wearing a watch is fucking retarded in a day and age where everywhere you look you can see the fucking time. your phone, your car, your other internet devices, cameras... even banks and other businesses have clocks displayed in public sometimes. timestamps on receipts, etc.
you can look at your phone just as easily as looking at your wrist.
only hipster joke faggots wear watches. and autistic children.
>>717515518 Nah. I guess I can just put up with people talking to me good so I usually get their dirt really easy. I guess ex cult members get really horny after they get their fucked up pasts off their chests.
>>717508297 >I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched C-beams... glitter in the dark near the Tannhouser Gate. All those... moments will be lost... in time... like tears... in rain. Time... to die
My penis is small, and i mean very small. Women and men have weeped in tears of joy and pain at the very tininess of by basement snake. I have cried many times looking down at it in the shower and when i am in my apartment alone. Like seriously it is inverted inward, and when/if i pop a bone the head just sticks out like an ingrown tumor. I am a great guy, I work hard, i am nice to everyone, i get good grades in my college courses, but since that stupid fucking class whore Samantha told everyone about the puny, wimpy, pathetic, carpet worm on my body ive been ruined socially. I only have 4 friends now and they all know about my curse and they make fun of me for it all the time. They have all asked if they could see it and they werent joking. Fuck Samantha, Fuck them, and fuck my parents for bringing a hideously deformed child in this cruel world. Its as if my testosterone pumped and pumped everywhere except my crotch. A friend of samanthas once asked if i can fuck her with a strapon and i cried right in the lecture while they giggled like the bunch of stacy's they are. I hate my stupid fucking acorn penis fuckkk. The worst part is it wont grow because im 21 years old. when i was in my teen years i had hope my puberty wasnt finished and it would grow to be normal but it didnt it just didnt. jesus fuck comfort me anons
I make trap rap music. Im black and all my friends are, we do all the coon shit you guys can probably make up. Except for smoking the shit we sell. We don't do that lol being black on /b/ is outrageous enough
>>717517184 Thats what I tell myself everyday but at the end of it all I want complete hedonism, but that was my father. Wont stoop so low. But how would I make music? What for? All I want is more drugs to drown out all this fucking piss in my brain! A day outside for me could fill a novel, the way the old lady scoffed while her husband shuffled on the bench when a negro goes by and the narrowing of his eyes at her and the aura of misery eminating from her. One person of hundreds, five seconds of thousand a day. Everyday a dissapointment, a daily lesson. People are disgusting and weak, I can never behave as who I am for I would not be equal with them. Ignorant of their own thoughts...
Great great great grandfather patented some of the first stoplights in the US Sold the company for $600M Mom's extended family are stupid rich Hoping my great uncle leaves her some of his $120M so I can afford tendies one day
>>717517853 And rich people too otherwise I probably wouldn't have 5k in cash next to me. Ps: If you ever try to work your way out of the deli department, the professional world frowns apon looking at your phone.
>>717508297 > can get people to do whatever i want >amazing reflexes >unusually high drug and alc tolerance >can play any sport i choose to well >can learn anything >make solid money consulting >published several books >character in 2 movies (name changed) >small parts in 3 movies >survived electrocution as a small child >fell off a cliff as a kid, no biggie >never had a broken bone or badly sick >never catch colds or get flu >sleep only 4 hour s a night >working on my 4th detective case >have 5 fake names >sprang a friend out of a mental hospital >there are toys made of characters i've created
i could go on and on, just remembering shit. lived a long, full life.
> next door neighbor since age 6 > ride bus together, classes together, everything > have rule in elementary school cafeteria, when lights go out, no talking > lights out > girl sneezes > cutest high pitched sneeze ever > teacher thinks it's talking > everyone looses recess for the day > everyone pissed at girl > flash-foward ten years, girl grows huge tits > best guy friend corners me in geometry class, 10th grade > bets me that I won't touch her boob > fuck that > ask girl if I can touch her boob > she says I bet you $10 you won't > grab a handful > was $$ > girl shocked but proud > friend pays me $10 > no ragrets
>>717518523 So what motivated you to chop off the hands and feet of a corpse? I mean if you tell me you did this when he was still alive, I could imagine reasons you'd end up in that situation. For a body though, it seems like either going over the top for no particular reason or underperforming on an actual ritualistic scarecrow kinda deal.
>>717508297 >had sex with 29 girls in a week in highschool >broke a guy's fingers for stealing $100 that wasn't even mine after smashing out his car window and dragging him out >robbed a guy at knife point for only a chance that he had something valuable to take >Took a shit on the bathroom floor at walmart, it stretched to tiles and half a tile in width. pretty big. no big deal though >cut my ex gfs brakes in FL and she crashed and handicapped herself. she never cheated on anyone again >caught 2 m&m's in my mouth in a row
>>717518299 underground guns. I didn't know much- I would occasionally get a couple handguns and it was my job to stash them for a few days or weeks. Differed each time Then I'd meet up and give it back to either the people who gave it to me or someone else they designated as "safe". Paid really well and I didn't ask too many questions.
>>717518038 Jesus you poor man... I welled up a little friend. I got a little dick too buddy you're not alone. You gotta finish your school move away and bang prostitutes life will be good one day kid. Take it from me.
>>717518930 Yeah, it sucks.. I live in a small town, so it's a known thing amongst the women of my age. My friends, the men and the women, know it wasn't me and take up for me whenever necessary. but it still is a common belief that I did it. Only one of my exes think it was me though, the other two know I had nothing to do with it.
I used to launder money for a bro in my fraternity while I was pledging. He'd give me like 25 grand at a time and tell me what bets to place at casinos around Vegas. I was only 18 at the time but I never got carded.
>>717519237 saggy/10 How does stripping work? Hows a guy "supposed" to act? There was a strip club next to where I played pool and everyone went there like it was the norm but I'm a quiet guy and I wouldn't know how to act
I got revenge by murder and never got caught. I've never told anyone, but I figure this will be my small confession. They say that you feel worse after revenge. In a sense, that's true, but at the same time, im satisfied.
>>717518839 yeah it probably takes about the same amount of time and effort.
you're wearing a watch like its fucking 1997. and i dont get out much? fucking kike
>needing to know the time every second to the point where you wear a device on your wrist that literally only serves the purpose of telling time
are you anxious? are you some sort of nervous cuck fag? do you have to make sure youre on time to your numerous BBC gangbangs that you are the featured bottom in?
seriously. the only reason people ever used to wear watches was because cell phones were not a wide spread thing and you might need to know the time when you were out and about in your day.
Theyre literally outdated and fucking pointless now. You're literally retarded if you can't see that. It's the same as carrying a fucking pager, or a phone book. Or using a payphone. Or buying a PPV event. Or using dial up internet. Or jacking off to pictures rather than streaming video.
I made a record with John Lennon. I keep in touch with Bob Dylan. George Harrison and I have done acid more than three times together, even jammed and improvised some experimental songs that never got anywhere. I wrote a book under a false name at the age of 23. I can play guitar, bass, drums, keyboard, banjo, ukulele, sitar, mandolin, and violin. I sold more than three million records in my career and never got noticed once because I hate everybody and made my reality this way for a reason. >on /b/ Fuck you, what do you expect me to do at this point?
>>717517365 >And came face to face with North Korean troops (not actors), which is more than what most of anyone else in here can say they've done. You people like to talk of North Korea, but you've yet to see it with your own eyes and I doubt most of you could even locate it on an unmarked map. Stop jerking yourself off. People go on tours to the DMZ almost every day, so it's hardly anything impressive or worth mentioning. You didn't even visit the North Korean side, only the South Korean one, so it's even less impressive. Next time actually go to North Korea if you want to impress people.
>>717518257 Make music, learn from - Fundamentals of musical composition by Arnold Schoenberg and - The complete discography of The Prodigy, The Beethoven of our times. Combine these and you will do great.
>>717519021 i was involved with some organized criminal activity in my late teens and early twenties. Started by using/selling heroin. The crew or set or gang or whatever you want to call it did almost the same thing with guns except one guy started trading cheap stolen pistols to his dope plug and maybe 3 months later ATF, DEA, and a state wide organized crime/anti gang unit did one of those things where they kick everyones door in at 5 in the morning two days before thanksgiving. Only me and one other guy out of the 15 or 16 people we ran with didnt get a shit ton of fed time. Moral of the story is jonny law doesnt fuck around with guns
Ok so you know Bear (owsley stanley)....soundman for the grateful dead, made highest quality acid which everyone from hendrix to bob dylan took. and made enough to blow millions of minds back then. I went to his last birthday party. He put a drop of liquid on my wrist which I promptly licked. we never said a word. sic night
>>717519752 If that's not you in the pic, don't even bother me. I've still gotten leagues closer to North Korea than you (provided that isn't you) or anyone else in this thread could even dream of getting.
>>717519907 nah i worked at a shop.. lady came in one day asking to buy like 30-40 keys.. i asked what are they for and she said she was a costume designer for the new movie IT.. Shop was in Toronto and they were doing filming in Oshawa.. so its viable that she was telling the truth.. sold her a bunch of brass coloured keys with trapezoid shaped heads
Im very excited to see the movie and see the keys.
Between September and now I have had sex with 16+ women. I currently have Gonorrhea and think it's too awkward to go to the doctor about so I just have been sleeping with chicks and keeping it on the dl. True story my dick smells like shit and isn't getting any better.
When i was 18 i moved to British Columbia with my dad to live with him the first time in over 10 years. After about a year of being there, I had become an experienced cook at my dads local restaurant. However, it turned out that my dad was also the lead member of a massive drug front. (i knew he sold some drugs to friends and whatnot but we are talking huge business)
One day he calls me into his office. Another employee sitting there. Tells me to sit with them. Continues to explain how so and so has stolen hundreds from us in some way, and tells me that today is the day i get to chose wether or not i want to "stay a part of this family"
This was when my father asked me to cut off a random mans finger.
The man sat in the chair with his hand on the desk begging for me not to, screaming, crying, pleading, etc, and i was looking at my dad with a more of an "are you sure" face?
My dad was the man you couldnt say no to, mostly because he was 100lbs more than me, and he could stare the living soul out of your body, and then beat the rest out of you.
>TLDR - I cut off a random dudes finger once as per rule of my dads drug cartel.
>>717517853 Holy shit you are dumb. Watches are status symbols. It's one if the few ways a rich man can showcase that he has means and good taste. I've never seen someone put so much effort into showing just how ignorant he is about the world.
Had a 4some with my wife and I'm gf and her 2 friends. My kid was conceived on top of a jeep at 60, my friend kept hitting the breaks to add to my thrusts, not sure if threesome or 4 some (me, wife and potentially friend and/or vehicle) Wind dried shit up like crazy though, do not recommend.
>>717520436 Eh, it's a small town, this kind of shit comes and goes, maybe if when I hit 30 it's still something I have to deal with I will move. But for now, everyone who's close to me knows it's not true, and those are the same people I stay in town for.. plus I have a great job.
>>717519993 No, thats just being an asshole. A Dox is a carefully put together and properly formatted file on a person. This includes multitudes of information which you will either cross reference somewhere else to confirm its validity, or leave unconfirmed.
This includes, but is not limited to; Name, email, birthday, answers to secret questions, address, family members, occupation, etc.
This helps as for future reference, especially when trying to impersonate someone online, when you must go back to said file and double check their information. Ie, their birthday say 01/02/1990 on facebook, but on their twitter its 01/02/1992. This could be just a thing they were lying about, so its always good to post all lines of whatever you have, as to try multiple times in case you are wrong the first.
>>717520386 Yes, because it's soooo bad to fly to South Korea and book a tour to the DMZ. I've been to the DMZ too, you're bragging about nothing. It's basically just as retarded as bragging that you visited Rome.
>>717521101 Yet how many people actually do? Every time I even mention "Korea," people assume I bumped elbows with the Supreme Leader himself, and I have to explain to them that I lived on the South side. Even then, they'll ask how afraid I was of an invasion, and how often I actually saw North Korea or its troops/spies. Visiting some old city that had its best days centuries ago is nothing compared to the DMZ.
Stop trying to downplay it.
>>717521277 You know what you were trying to do. Wasn't funny then, isn't now.
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