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You are now the new owner of 4chan What's the first thing

The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

Thread replies: 93
Thread images: 13

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You are now the new owner of 4chan

What's the first thing you do?
>>
/thread
>>
Gloat, kill myself
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>>717388496
/thread
>>
>>717388371

Make myself moot and shit post with the moot username.
>>
>>717388371
Kill the repetitive threads and b& the faggots.
Then I would make raids mandatory and we would troll the shit out of everything and everyone on the internet.
PA request would be encouraged and all other kinds of chaos
>>
>>717388371
Eliminate /b/
>>
>>717388371

Ban people like you for posting pointless threads and fat slags!
>>
>>717388371
wordfilter for cuck
autoban for normie
on /g/
>>
Sell 4chan to the highest bidder.
>>
Delete this shitty website
>>
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>>717388371
Day of the rake
>>
>>717388371
Ban all Canadians.
>>
>>717388371
Make it profitable by selling capacha space to people who need brain metadata
>>
Fucking shut it down and sell it's assets.
>>
Ban all weeaboos, furries, and bronies in sight

4chan belongs to the Normal people
>>
>>717388371
Ban all you High School Faggotts
>>
>>717388371

Burn the fucking server farm to the ground.
>>
>>717388371
Look at the financials and create a business plan using blue green UX ad clithroughs in a audience retention matrix.
>>
close it
>>
>>717388371
Delet 4chan all together
>>
delete /b/
>>
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>>717389262
>>
>>717389262
Good idea
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>>717388371
make a board for girls with braces.
>>
>>717388823

>wordfilter for cuck

Underrated
>>
>>717388371
close it
>>
>>717388371
- transfer servers to belize
- lock out mods
- let b be true random
- cheese pizza paradise!
>>
Ban Traps and Fur fags
>>
>>717389262
sound legit, i'd hire this guy and blindly let him do whatever the fuck he wanted as long as it didn't fuck up my revenue. give him hella bonuses when he did good. go play golf or ride in hot air balloons or whatev the fuck rich peeps do.
>>
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>>717389262
Somebody works in marketing.
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>>717389707
so much this
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>>717388371
chain moot back to a sever and tell him to get his ass back to work
>>
>>717389859
No, I'm a business analyst.
>>
>>717388371
/fag/ board, 6mb post size, I always wanted a material theme for 4chan as well, /text/ an only text board.
>>
Close it.
And then see how all of you goes apeshit.
>>
>>717389125
Normal people don't even come to 4chan.
>>
>>717388371

Bring back (You)
>>
>>717390806
Consider it done
>>
Make #fortune site wide
Delete /pol/
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>>717388871
>delete
>website

i dont think you understand what it takes to handle a website
>>
/fur/
/nig/
/roll/

Done
>>
Nothing
>>
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I would create a membership subscription option where members can create threads that only other members can see. In my opinion this would improve the quality of some of the threads if you're willing to pay for it. Something cheap like $2 per month. 4chan is already sustainable via ads but this could help out a little as well. People who are willing to pay are less likely to be faggots. Members can get slightly better quality threads as well as having access to the chaos 4chan is known for. Members also wouldn't have to solve captchas.
>>
bring back the jlist ads
>>
>>717388371
>make money
>use money to make sex to girls
>realize my life is empty
>sabotage my relationships with everyone I know
>binge drink
>buy kewl guns
>>
>>717391537
already a thing retard.
VIP board, and pass members don't require captchas
>>
>>717388371
delete system 32
>>
>>717391537
>not having a platinum account
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>>717391537
>>717391681
well fuck. They clearly stole my idea lol. Anyways I would work on making the ads invulnerable to ad block and make them somewhat quality. 4chan is a very specific group of people with similar interests. A lot of companies are willing to pay a decent amount to target such a precise group.
>>
Delete this gay-ass post.
>>
>>717388371
I would sell it to the highest bidder and divorce my wife, ensuring she is comfortable.
I would take the leftover money and invest it in anonymity, centrifuges, incubators, and other useful micro lab equipment.

I would continue to work in order to fund my hobby, and just see where things go from there.
>>
>>717391991
Your an idiot. Been here for years. And there used to be ads for things like J-list, but Hiroshima cucked the website over a little and added these retarded malicious ads
>>
>>717389212
This
>>
>>717388371
Find companies edgy enough to advertise on this site and get it out of the red and into the black. Then tell the mods to lighten up and only remove things that are illegal where the servers are. If governments complain tell them they can block the site if they want to. If any do post detailed instructions on how to get around government lockouts.
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Allow jailbait as long as it's not actual CP
>>
>>717392129
matthias?
>>
>>717390728
Wait, wut? We are all normal faggot. The fuck is wrong with you?
>>
>>717391105

Well, I didn't notice that because nobody replies to me.
>>
BRING

BACK

SNACKS
>>
>>717388371
make /his/ JUST history. create /hum/ for the butt hurt humanities faggots that would no doubt follow.

remove /pony/ perma IP bans for anyone posting mlp on any board.

/b/ gets 2008/2009 word filters back for a time
>>
>>717388371
Create a trap board and allow softcore cp on /b/
>>
>>717392459
/b/ is moderated by the FBI. You don't have control over what content is and isn't allowed on /b/
>>
>>717392335
Who is that? I'm just a anaerobe enthusiast with more ideas and responsibility than time and permissions.
>>
>>717392459
Definitely create a trap board though.
>>
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BananaChan

nanners get their own board.

i mean /ylyl board for itself
>>
>>717392548
Okay I'll also create a /FBI/ for them
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>>717392650
so basically >>>/s4s/?
>>
>>717392617
you definitely sound like him.
buddy of mine.
>>
>>717388622
/thread
>>
Word filter for the word "cumquat." I hate that word.

Bring back IDs to /b/.

Larger upload limit, allow multiple pictures per post.

Allow MP4 files to be uploaded.

Ban ALL underage fags who post.

Strictly enforce anonyminity in all threads unless OP states in the thread to reveal themselves (I.e., faces of b thread).

Also, moar chocolate milk.
>>
>>717388371
Ban anyone who isn't posting cheese pizza.
>>
>>717392144
I guess I've used ad block since 2010 then. Whenever it's paused all I see are trash ads that I don't even consider. I guess that goes for most websites. Hopefully in the future they'll get better at not being intrusive to the webpage and actually decent.

I've noticed google targets your emails and web history to target you. I've been getting ads for building design firms suspiciously along with other stuff.
>>
Bring back higher image res limits

That shit irks me to no end.
I have a folder full of at least 100 webms that are now too large to be posted here.
Fucking bullshit.
>>
>>717393013
i get a lot of ads to increase cock size, but i've never looked into any of that
>>
>>717392844
Sorry, I go by a different pseudonym. I hope he's well.

To clarify, I love my wife and am not talking about terrorism. I just wanna work on my own with germs but there's no way to do that and make a living in this world. I would be happy if I could have my own lab, fuck around reading science journals, and maybe running a D&D game now and then, but instead I'm a consultant to the food industry because that is easy money.
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>>717392377
Maybe I'm the new owner of 4chan and I really did take care of it just for you.
>>
>>717393232

I love you, anon.
>>
>>717393232
get rid of the malicious ads then.
>>
>>717393013
Yeah. IMO it's not really a bad thing. Have 4chan targeted ad and the google ad where it shows you whatever. For example, I bought a bayonet on Ebay recently and I have had an ebay ad showcasing similar items.
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>>717393205

no problem mat, but it's as if i'm talking to him right now.
I'm amazed.
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>>717393443

> He doesn't use an ad blocker
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>>717393822
i do. but i'd like to support my home for the past 12 1/2 years again.
>>
>>717393783
People aren't as unique as they like to think they are. It pleases and surprises me, although it probably shouldn't, that there are other people out there that have outlooks similar to mine.
>>
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>>717393761
4chan's already a specialize group of people. It's not hard to put an ad up here that we would care about. They just have to be willing to buy software that counters ad block.
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>>717394160
>>
>>717393943

Then buy a 4chan pass.
>>
>>717394346
i'm not gonna trip/namefag. Bad stigma.
>>
>>717394304
It's best to assume he's stupid if that's his idea of content that 4chan cares about.
>>
Make a board where everyone has mod power, but only for that board. Maybe not ban power or ban only from that board.
>>
Start deleting all the stupid threads of this board and banning people who post in them.
>>
>>717394653
And this is the reason why u r not the owner. Those people that make those threads are one of the largest user based of this site. If you ban most of them, u will have a pretty dead site, and soon you will been the person that drive 4chan to the ground..while the past owners led to its boom. Sucka
>>
>>717394653
So ban everyone?
Thread posts: 93
Thread images: 13



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