>be me >playing club penguin trying to hook up with bitches

This post proves why birth control exists

>>717323099
Did you put some of that mayonnaise on your tendies?

Grow the fuck up and get a fucking job. Quit freeloading off your mother.

Another cis white male tired of playing Overwatch so he logs in to 4chan and types this shit off the top of his head.

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>be me
>wake up 6pm
>waddle out of my SpongeBob race car bed
>do a poo poo in my diapy for mommy
>tummy growls for McDonald's nuggies and 3 cheese garlic crusted hotpockets
>I can hear my stomach REEE internally
>crawl out of my play area
>grab my megaphone
>knock over my mlp bodypillow
>whatever mommy will pick it up
>scream
>"MOMOMOMMY WHERE ARE MY NUGGIES AND HOTPOCKETS YOU CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNTTT"
>hear footsteps and quiet whimpering
>feels good to assure dominance
>30 minuets later cunt still isn't here
>ANON ANGERY
>crawl to get my Zombiekiller throwable dual bladed katana that i got as a gift for not pooping on the cat
>crawl down the stairs to mommy's kitchen
>"MOMMY WHY THE FUCK ARE THERE NO NUGGIES AND HOTPOCKETS ON MY PLATE YET"
>she is visibly scared shitless
>"I-I-I'm s-sorry sweaty pie, the chicken nuggets are still heating up"
>I specifically asked for McDonald's Nuggies not Tyson nuggies
>I am enraged
>"MOMMY MOMMY I SAID MCDONALD NUGGIES YOU FUCKING COW GO DRIVE TO MCDONALD'S OR I'LL BURN DOWN THE HOUSE WITH YOU INSIDE IT"
>mommy falls on the floor shaking and sobbing
>oh no my tendie vendor is having an autistic breakdown
>waddle back up to my room
>google how to cure autism
>its a bunch of ads to Jew doctors
>fuck it I'll fix it myself
>grab my dragon dildo and anal pump
>waddle down stairs
>mommy is shaking violently
>rip off her clothes
>shove dragon dildo into her vagoo
>pump her asshole until she gets an anal rose
>poo poo on her face
>shove my pee pee willy into her mouth
>big cums into mouth
>get up and heil Hitler
>run back upstairs, exhausted
>fall asleep on my SpongeBob race car bed
>wake up with a plate of nuggies and hotpockets
Serves that bitch right

>>717323817
wew

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> be me
> 28 years old NEET
> raised as an only child
> I caused mummy and daddys divorce
> nothing matters except the scrumptious taste of tendies
> mfw its 03:00am
> mummy I'm hungries
> yell into intercom for snackitysnacks
> CLAIM THE MEAL OF THE CHICKEN GODS!! ITS TENDY TIME!!
> her tired voice reponds with "NOT NOW SWEETY MOMMY IS WORKING!!"
> challenging me at this hour?
> insolent woman I know there are tendies in the freezer bring me my tendies
> keep chanting for the tendies that are rightfully mine
> GOLDEN BROWN TENDY TOWN TURN THAT FROWN UPSIDE DOWN
> evil jew landlord tells mummy to shut me up
> eww mummy is sleeping with nasty landlord
> naughty man. Making mummy's ladylettuce smell like sardines
> The war has begun.ctn
> enter sunrise. All Preparations are complete.
> nullifying any chance of escape I reeeee into mummies "office" on my valiant reinforced electric wheelchair.
> douse jew in two jugs of poopyjuice before he can activate his spells
> evil jew is unable to battle!
> ram him into the corner and then leap off of my valiant steed and mount mummy's face
> NO NO NO NO NO NO MUMMY! YOUR PUNISHMENT MUST BE MORE SEVERE!!
> "URGH! YOU'RE CRUSHING ME SWEET-- OH GOD HELP ME PLEASE NO!!"
> Groan as I release a big boy turd so nasty her fingernails begin to peel backwards
> gaze into her eyes as the impact sends mummy into panic attack
> expel the last of my poopies on the sheet. How many times must I break you?
> tidy up my toys and waddle into kitchen to await my spoils
> slithery jew slithers out of my castle and says we don't need to worry about rent ever again
> victory.ogg
> mummy finally arrives visibly shaken and broken inside
> opens the freezer to make my tendies
> puts hot plate of tendies in front of me and blows them until they are cool
> "mummy you have to chew them for me"
> mummy breaks down in tears and screams for death
> yawn, give myself 5 extra gbp and fall asleep without eating them.

>>717323627
I don't think that's actually mayonnaise

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>playing some call of dooties tree
>my belly starts to rumble
>"Mommy I need some Tendieeeeeessss."
>"Anon, for the last time, you're on a diet and can't have fried food!"
>"But momeeeeeee! I have enough GBPeeeee!!"
>no response
>wait a few minutes
>Hear the "bump bump" of mommy walking down the stairs
>a tray slides through my flap-flap on my basement door
>mommy had it installed because "she couldn't bear seeing me"
>remove the neck of my poop jug from my anus
>been sitting on my poop jug as a chair all day
>it makes my peepee feel tingly
>wobble over my bedroom door
>look at the tray
>so taken aback by the horror on my tray that I fall over
>THE BITCH MADE ME BAKED CHICKEN
>clench fists hulk-style and start yelling "IM.... ANGRY"
>"ANON SMASH!"
>just like my hero, saitama, knock the basement door off of it's hinges in one punch
>start hobbling up the stairs
>have to stop on the 5th step because exhausted
>take a nap on the stairs for about 30 minutes
>continue making my journey up the last 3 steps
>get to the top, reminds me of rocky
>roll up to mommy, poopy butt leaving trails on the carpet
>"hello anon how was your dinn-"
>roll straight into her legs, knocking her to the ground
>"MOMMY FAILED TO COMPLY, NOW SHE ten-DIES"
>Start rolling on her like a steamroller
>hear her bones cracking from my beautiful curves
>"ANON NO PLEASE STOP!"
>activate "Muddy Lemonade" protocol
>start pissing and shitting as i roll over her
>"ANON ILL MAKE YOU TENDIES JUST PLEASE STOP!"
>I halt
>she crawls to the kitchen her broken legs dragging behind her
>see her pull a handful of what i think are tic-tacs from an orange bottle and put them into the milk for the breading
>I hate mint flavor!
>slither up behind her like a snake that has just eaten a elephant whole
>"PUT MINTS IN MY TENDIES, YOUR SPINE GOES BENDY"
>get mommy's head and bend it backwards so the back touches her butt
>she's limp
>have peepee fun friction time with her mouth
>roll back to basement and start playing CS:GO

what am i reading?

>>717326257
IDK but I like it

Continue OP

>>717326334
same

>>717326423
same

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>Mom gets off work early without calling first
>Finds me in the pantry emptying my poop jug into the cat's litter box
>Starts yelling at me, saying that I'm fucking disgusting
>Tell her that it's all her fault for breaking up with my dad when I was six
>She tells me that I need to be an adult
>Cry and scream and even throw my shit jug at her
>She says that from now on I have to go to bed before midnight
>Tell her to fuck off and go to my room
>Don't go to bed because it's fucking bullshit and I'm not a god damn wage slave
>She opens the door flat out at like one AM and is really pissed
>Tries to push me away from the computer, but I'm too heavy
>I start yelling at the top of my lungs
>She rips my computer tower out of the wall and takes it up to her room
>Knows I'm too fat to climb the stairs and thinks shes won
>Lay down at the bottom of the stairs and scream until my throat hurts
>Still no computer
>She goes to work the next day
>Wake up at like 3 PM and no computer
>Bitch has fucking overstepped her boundaries now
>Go into the bathroom and lift top off toilet tank so I can shit in it
>Sitting on tank and begin to turtle-head when I get an idea
>Pucker up my ass and waddle into the kitchen
>Take huge shit in the microwave and set the timer for three hours
>Mom comes home an hour later and the whole house fucking reeks
>She's screaming about a fire in the kitchen
>Can hear her crying for hours and even hear firemen stamping around
>Later that evening she comes in sobbing
>Sets up my computer tower for me
Flawless victory

>>717326449
same

>>717326650
same

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>Wake up at 8 PM after my nappy-wappy
>Remembered I've been a really good boy today
>Go to check my Good Boy Point (GBP) whiteboard
>30 GBP
>Enough to go in the playroom AND get a tendie meal with ranch dipping sauce
>Wade through my piss bottles and shit jugs to get to my door
>Waddle over to mummy's room
>"Mummy! Mummy! I've been a good boy and I want to go to the pwaywoom!"
>Mummy checks my chart and leads me to the playroom
>As she unlocks the playroom, she tells me that she'll get my tendies ready
>I quickly remind her, "Don't fowget the wanch!!"
>rush into the playroom and fall over headfirst onto the racecar mat.
>begin playing with my blocks
>One hour later
>Door opens and she has my tendies, except...
>No ranch dip
>"BITCH! WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT MY TENDIES. I NEED RANCH DIPPING SAUCE TO FULLY ENJOY MY TENDIES."
>"y-you never asks for ranch, sweetums..."
>"WHY DO YOU HATE YOUR NUMBER ONE BOY!?!?"
>"WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE SUCH AN UNGRATEFUL MOM!?"
>"d-don't worry Anon, I'll go right back down to get your ranch..."
>Throw one of my blocks at her and it hits her straight in the eye
>That's gonna leave a bruise.
>"SERVES YOU RIGHT, NORMIE BITCH! NOW GO BACK DOWN AND MAKE ME SOME MORE TENDIES!"
>Lean in close to her ear
>Shout "AND DON'T FORGET THE RANCH."
>She leaves crying
>Notice I made some wawa in my nappy.
>Mum comes back and changes me while I enjoy my ranch-dipped tendies
>She's still crying
>mfw

>>717326701
same

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>>717326777
same

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>wake up at 2pm
>30 year old NEET
>had accident in sleep which I rolled around in
>grab cum-towel off nightstand and do my best wipe mess from my folds of fat
>tummy gurgles loudly, so hungry
>plop out of bed, navigate through shit jugs and piss bottles in my room
>waddle downstairs to check GBP board
>wait a minute to catch my breath before I look
>just enough Good Boy Points for some tendies and sauce!
>legs buckle under own weight
>roll myself into the living room where mummy is watching her favorite soap opera
>"mummy mummy I have enough Good Boy Points for some tendies!"
>she turns to me with the most disgusting look on her face while I lay flat on the ground stuggling to get up
>"s-sure honey, le-let me just get some tendies for you"
>she struggles to go to the kitchen without vomitting from the smell and sight of my obese, putrid, feces and semen covered body
>she pulls the tendies out of the freezer after letting the oven heat up as she begins to cry into the sink
>I roll over and pull myself up to my high chair that starts to creak as I sit down
>have my crayons and Power Rangers coloring book to occupy me while I wait
>the tendies are finally done and she puts them on my plate
>she can't hold back the vomit as I open my mouth to eat some tendies and vomits all over my plate
>I can't let these tendies go to waste, so I eat them along with the vomit
>"yummy wummy tendies in my tummy, thanks mummy"
>do my best to muster a smile but the rows of decaying teeth only disgust mummy further
>high-chair finally breaks from my heft
>causes me to have another accident
>mum runs away to her room, sobbing uncontrollably, so ashamed of her baby boy
>I just sit there on floor, in my own filth, thinking about what a disappointment I am
>mfw

>>717326950
oh no, plot twist

>>717327318
same

don't stop op wtf is this lmao

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>be me
>be 300lb normie slayer
>wake up 5 in the morning
>tummy growls for tendies and mountain dew
>screech at the top of my lungs
>then proceed to yell
>"THE NORMIE SLAYER HAS AWAKENED NOW HE MUST FEAST ON TENDIES"
>hear mommy sobbing
>I didn't ask for crying I asked for tendies dumb normie bitch
>"THE NORMIE SLAYER SHALL NOT WAIT, FOR HE IS A GOOD BOY"
>still hear mommy crying like a little bitch
>Thats it
>grab my pee and poo jar
>lay on my skateboard (my big bones are to heavy for me to walk)
>surf down the stairs and get a big owie
>now i start crying
>"MOMMY THIS IS YOUR FAULT YOU LAZY CUNT NOW YOUR BIG BOY IS HURT"
>sobbing gets louder
>bitch doesn't even come to give me kisses
>normie slayer is enraged
>stand up because of my anger strength
>knock down mommy's door
>bitch is screaming in fear
>YOU HAVE BEEN A BAD MOMMY, NOW YOU WILL HAVE TO PAY THE PRICE, PREPARE FOR THE PEE POO DICE"
>take off my diaper throw it at her face
>spin around and shit and piss everywhere
>mommy is begging for mercy
>too late bitch
>throw pee and poo bottle on her
>headshot
>glass breaks on her
>she's knocked out cold
>pick up a glass shard and stab her nipples
>she's bleeding from her head
>go to the freezer and grab all the tendies and stuff them in my pockets
>run go back up stairs to my dojo
>watch mlp for 5 hours while eating frozen tendies
>hear sirens outside
I hope they take away my abusive mommy and give me a new tendie vendor

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OP is fucking hilarious

I wonder how the story ends. Great character development, suspenseful plot/10

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>wake up at 3pm
>fill piss bottle
>waddle out to check GBP board
>finally reached 100 for not shitting in the car yesterday
>REEEEEEEEE in excited delight so loud and high the window cracks
>too out of breath to walk
>roll into kitchen where mummy is doing the budget
"MUMMY MUMMY NOW IS FUN DAY TIME FOR TENDIE SPECIAL SUNDAE"
>mummy slowly looks up, her eyes wide and quivering
"b-but I-I have to work today and that takes four hours to make..."
>heave myself upright, all 450 pounds
>face is bright red and sweating bullets from exertion and fury
"NOW I SPEND MY GBP, SO MAKE TENDIES TO PLEASE ME"
"I c-can't... we don't have any..."
>what the fuck did you just fucking say to me you little bitch
>begin quaking with apoplectic rage, jiggling like a triple decker jello mold
>throw mummy to the ground and start tearing off her only dress
"YOU FORGET TO BUY THE MEAT, SO NOW IT'S YOU WHO MUST EAT! I AM NO LONGER BENDY, SO NOW YOU SUCK MY TENDIE!"
>shove my cock in mummy's mouth
>haven't washed in months of course
"TOASTIE ROASTIE! DUMMY MUMMY!"
>mummy pulls away gagging and sobbing
>it's ok, five seconds was long enough
"SPRAYO MAYYYOOOOOOOO"
>blast all over mummy, grunting and moaning like a semi passing on the highway
>inexplicably have huge volume despite jacking it eight times a day
>make sure to get it everywhere
>point and laugh
"CUMMY TUMMY! CUMMY TUMMY!"
>laboriously turn around and shift backwards
"STUPID BITCH COLD LIKE ICE! NOW MIXED WITH CREAM THAT'S NICE! REMEMBER I'M THE BOSS! NOW ADD THE CHOCOLATE SAUCE!"
>spray diarrhea all over mummy for solid minute
"ROASTIES MAKE ME WARY, CUZ THEY LACK A CHERRY! NOW SUNDAE IS COMPLETE! ONE IN CHARGE IS THE NEET!"
>wheeze and collapse from exhaustion, falling on top of mummy and trapping her underneath layers of fat
>takes three hours until strong enough to roll back to couch
>piss myself five times
>grind trail of filth into carpet while rolling
>mummy gets hose and mop, starts cleaning me up
"w-who's my b-big boy..."

Kek, watch bideo.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j4PTf7LgsIE

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>Be me, working on my minecraft peaceful world
>mummy comes in, hands up in submission
>"a-anon... It's time for your doctors appointment..."
>look her dead in the face
>"if you make me go to that jew Doctor I'm going to shit in your fucking bed."
>"now anon, if you behave... I'll give you a triple Tendie meal from anywhere you want."
>sold, but resolve to give her as hard a time as possible to punish her for not just GIVING me the triple tendies for being her perfect little baby boy
>get in the car
>"oh boy mommy, I really do need to go to the docy docs! I am feeling so... Sick!"
>shit my big boy pants
>she screams at me to get out of the car so she can clean it, say no, docy docs now!
>she reluctantly drives me over, go inside office and wipe my shit on the Windows
>she apologizes, pays for damages and we wait for the doctor
>mommys shoe starts to dangle off her heel
>start jerking off
>mommy sees me and desperately whispers at me to stop before someone notices
>moan as loud as I can
>she's in tears now
>look her in the eye
>"Touch my cock, whore." I say loud enough for the whole room to hear
>she sobs loudly and shakes her head no
>pinch her nipple and twist until she agrees and gives me cummies
>Doctor calls me in, immediately call him a kike
>spend whole checkup farting, pissing, and belching strategically to ruin the doctors day
>checkup finally ends, mom is still sobbing
>"triple Tendie time now mummy!"
>lets out a louder sob and rushes to the car, me in pursuit
>"wh-where do you want tendies from, anon?"
>tell her I want wendies tendies
>she takes me to wendies, and we discover, to her horror, that they only have nuggets now.
>REEEEE at her while shitting and pissing myself
>she rushes me home and leaves me there, saying she'll be back soon with as many tendies as I can eat
>comes home 20 minutes later with 7 orders of Popeyes tendies
>smile and thank her
>she sighs with relief and decides to take a nap after her ordeal
>Left a surprise in her bed

>>717330328
1000 times more akward after reading these stories

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>5 AM
>Browsing YLYL threads on /b/
>Laugh so hard I shit myself
>Whoops, special baby needs a new diapy
>"MAAAAAMAAAAAA"
>Hear frantic footsteps running down the hall
>Mama opens the door winded. She can't forget what happened last time.
>"Baby boy made a messy messy"
>Lay down on the bed with feet up in the air
>She's changing my diapy
>Wait. What's that feeling?
>Instead wet wipes she's using fucking TOILET PAPER
>Kick her in the face
>"YOU FUCKING BITCH! WHAT IS THIS SANDPAPER SHIT? IS THIS HOW YOU TREAT YOUR SPECIAL BABY? DO YOU REMEMBER WHAT HAPPENED LAST TIME?!"
>By this point she's shrunken in fear
>"I-I'm sorry anon b-but I forgot to get the w-wet wipes when I was out getting your t-tendies"
>"REEEEEEEEEEEEEEE"
>Go on a full blown rampage
>Roll down the hall spewing rancid diarrhea
>Knock over Grammas ashes
>Knock over the wine rack
>Roll onto Mama and crack her femur
>"TENDIES TENDIES TENDIES AND WIPEY WIPES NOW!"
>Limps to the car
>Rushes out to go to the store
>Go back to browsing the 'Chon
>15 minutes later she's back with the wet wipes and 4 boxes of tendies
>The nearest store is 25 minutes away
>"A-anon I have the wipeys you wanted"
>"TENDIES NOW REEEEE!"
>Makes me three whole trays of tendies
>Gives me wipey wipes and makes me a special bubble bath
She hasn't looked at me in the eyes since. That's what she gets for neglect

>NYE
>midnight
>"MOMMY ITS MIDNIGHT WHERE ARE MY SPECIAL TENDIES!"
>she comes rushing in
>"h-here you go for mommy's special l-little boy"
>look at tendies
>i specifially told that bitch to make it in the shape of 2017
>"DUMMY MUMMY MADE TENDIES WRONG! NOW YOU MUST TASTE MY THONG!"
>throw my MLP Rainbow dash thong at her
>"I-m s-s-sorry anon i ran over to give you your tendies but i jostled the plate around"
>"MOMMY MADE A BAD EXCUSE NOW SHE WILL GET THE POOPS!"
>throw her to the ground
>shit 2017 times in her mouth
>she wont forget ever again

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>>717332815
>>717332069
>>717331663
god bless you OP for writing this stuff

have a rare pepe

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>4pm, just got up after an intense night of League of Legends
>feel a hungy in my tummy
>scream for mummy to make me some tendies and change my poopoo baggie
>nothing happens
>I have to scream for more than ten minutes until someone reacts
>it's new daddy, he's only wearing pants
>uh-oh
>tells me to get a job and move out until the end of the week, he's fed up with my shit
>I can't let this pass, he tries to undermine my authority in the household
>even though I can barely move from hunger, manage to push out another shit into the now overflowing poopoo baggie
>usually, he backs off when this happens, but not today
>instead, he comes closer
>grab into the poopoo baggie, throw a fistful of shit at him and run to hide under the bed while he's distracted
>take poopoo baggie with me
>whenever he tries to reach under the bed, hiss at him and throw some shit
>mummy comes, finally
>she brings me a plate of the finest tendies only mommy can make
>and a glass of fucking pepsi
>not mountain dew
>fucking pepsi
>this fucking whore has been under the influence of new daddy for too long
>reee at her from under the bed, fling some shit into her general direction
>posting this from under my bed, can hear mummy crying
>serves her right

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>>717332984
for this and everyone on here have some tendies

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>OP

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>Be my birthday
>Mama got me the Littlest Pet Shop cake I wanted
>Get a card from grammy
>"Enjoy your birthday, sorry I couldn't be there sweety, I hope you can use this"
>A lot of weird green paper in there
>Mamas eyes get big
>Ask her what these are
>"It's money, I use it to buy your chicken and videogames"
>"Can I trade it for good boy points?"
>"Yes you can, of course you can"
>then new daddy walks into the room
>smells like smoke and adult apple juice
>slaps mamas butt
>sees the money
>"I need this for the poker game tonight"
>Mama says no, I traded it with her
>He slaps her faces butt now
>Mama screams
>I'm sitting there eating my cake
>Ask her when dinner is ready
>She says I gotta help her
>This FUCKING NORMIE
>ASKS ME
>TO HELP HER
>ON MY OWN BIRTHDAY
>take off all my clothes and jump on the table
>Press my willy in the cake and run to mama screaming at the top of my lungs flailing my arms
>hit mama in the belly
>hear a loud oomf
>new daddy looks at me
>I look at him
>I get down on my knees and grab his crotch
>he goes back and asks me what I'm doing
>I just wanted to show him I can be mama too
>Run at him and bite him in his crotch
>even though he wore pants he dropped to the ground crying
>now everyone was crying
>my diaper has been full the whole time
>put some cake in diaper since mama isnt changing it and feed it to new daddy
>new daddy never came back after the poker game
>mama made me fresh chicken tendies with a side of pizza that night
>she didn't even charge my good boy points
>best 40th birthday ever

>>717325276
THATS THE JOKE

I feel like throwing up

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>Be hanging out with my daki (Mikiru is best waifu)
>Mommy comes in and asks me if I want to go to Friendlies for a platter of tendies and some icy creamy
>Clap excitedly and rush to the car with Mikiru
>Sit in backseat with her, mommy gets to car and starts driving us to Friendlies
>Mikiru gets frisky and starts eyeing up my crotch
>Decide to give her a show
>Pull out my cock and start tugging it around
>Mikiru looks at it hungrily, cum on her face in a matter of seconds and scream
>Hear mommy sigh from front seat and mutter that she made a mistake
>Tell her it's okay,I love mommy and I can get her her OWN Daki
>She sighs, obviously with relief
>We get to friendlies, get out with mikiru and we order three plates of tendies and frenchies, thinking about what kind of Icy Creamy I'll get
>Mommy orders a glass water and some toast
>Asks for three slices instead of two
>Warn her not to go over board or new Chad Daddy might not like her flab flab
>Shes so grateful for my advice that her eyes start to water
>Me and Mikiru finish our tendies and mommy makes a comment about me not throwing stones
>She KNOWS I'm sensitive about my beautiful curves
>I control myself, but Mikiru is in love with me
>She lunges forward and attacks mommy for disrespecting her hubby
>Waitress comes over and grabs me
>Why grab me? Mikiru is the one hurting mommy!
>Realize... the waitress is in love with me too
>Lunge forward and start making out with her, Mikiru stops attacking mommy for some reason
>Waitress pushes me away, I knew I should have stuck with Mikiru
>Shit pants and start crying
>Go home with mommy, she's apologizing for ruining my night out
>Tell her that after TONIGHT, only a threeway with mikiru will make up for what she did
>Mommy starts sobbing tears of joy that she can do something to make me forgive her

bmup

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Thank you OP <3
These are golden

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>be me 31 year old fatass NEET
>11pm
>watching a Tyson Tendie Commercial on repeat
>rumbly tummy says it's time for another batch
>waddle through my room
>trip on a poop jug from last night
>spend 10 minutes farting and struggling getting to my feet
>thought for sure I told mummy to clean my room today
>make it out of the room and down the stairs
>mummy's cleaning the kitchen
>"mummy mummy your boy is hungry! Where are my tendies?"
>"Anon, you ate the last box. And no, it's too late to go out now. I have work very early."
>A flicker of rage sparks up inside me
>"then how will your good boy eat tendies tonight?"
>"I don't know. It's not my problem. You're 31 for Christ's sake"
>what's that? not her problem. Fucking kek
>"you brought me into this world you stupid bitch. Now TAKE CARE OF ME! Before I shove a poop jug up your cunt you fucking whore."
>she raises her arms in surrender.
>"fine" she sighs.
>watch her leave
>40 minutes later she's finally back
>she brings in great value brand tendies
>great value
>FUCKING GREAT VALUE
>don't even say anything
>hobble to my room farting frantically
>grab biggest poop jug I can find
>back in the kitchen she has her back to me finishing up dishes
>kick her as hard as I can knocking her off her feet
>plop down all 300 pounds on her chest
>feel her ribs crack as I unscrew my shit jug
>"ANON! ANON NO!!! PLEASE!!!" She gasps out, her eyes full of terror. She knows what's coming
>arms and legs flailing all around but I'm too heavy
>slowly pour god knows how old tendie diarrhea on her face
>overflows over her mouth
>watch her cough and gargle on my own shit
>see the life begin to drain from her eyes
>use all my might and stand up
>she rolls over gasping and grabbing her chest
>Take out peepee
>piss in her hair
>"Tyson now bitch"
>mfw that cunt drove back to wal-mart with shit on her face and broken ribs to get me the brand of tendies I deserve

>>717333302
more like this
post tendies pictures

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>wake up at 4:20, exhausted from watching mlp & binging on moe anime
>roll out of bed, I hear a squish from my lincoln log I made when my poo poo bucket got full
>no matter, tendies on their way now
>waddle over to mommy, she is disgusted by my /fit/ 350 lb body and being partially covered in shit
>MOMMY MOMMMY TENDIES ARE NOT IN MY TUMMY
>"sorry anon, b-but I ran out this morning-"
>REEEEEEEEEEE and waddle to pick up a piss jug to throw at her, then I remember there is something more important to tend to
>waifu pillow came in the mail today
>GOOD BOY NO POO POO MOMMY IF SHE GET PILLOW
>bitch stops huddling in fear and slowly crawls to the door
>avert my eyes from the light, shit a little bit from the anticipation
>mommy comes back with the package, REEEE at her and grab it, start opening it
>open it, inside is not the scantily clad cartoon girl I ordered, but a fucking textbook
>"anon, I wanted you to not watch those cartoons, and start going back to college"
>I will not stand for this
>suppress my rage, waddle back to my room to get my mischievous revenge
>she comes with, pretend to wipe away some piss jugs on my cum-encrusted table
>grab a piss jug when she's not looking, and whack it at her with a resounding REEEEEEEE
>grab a pillow while mommy is disoriented, shove that whore inside and smear cum on the edges to seal it closed
>poke a hole in it with my bitch-summoning stick, put my tendie inside and REEEEEEE like i've never REEEEE'd before
>open up my finest tentacle ecchi and start beating my tendie
>mommy screams and offers infinite tendies, but I won't let that whore slide that easily
>cum inside the pillow until it stops moving
>waddle upstairs and leave the momfu pillow up there to make you tendies
>tfw mommy is now your waifu pillow
Guys, it's been a few hours and that bitch still hasn't moved from the kitchen. This is child abuse.