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ITT: high school dating green texts, i'll start >me,

The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

Thread replies: 279
Thread images: 29

File: superthumb.png (118KB, 300x250px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
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ITT: high school dating green texts, i'll start

>me, 15 year old sophomore
>moved to small town 2000 miles away 1 month earlier
>have very few friends
>start school, know nobody in any of my classes
>start crushing on girls, utter beta
>decide to go up and talk to a 9/10
>turns out she liked me too, after a few days of talking
>ask her out
>she was my first kiss
>she dumps me a week later
>not too upset
>ask another girl out the same day bc i felt confident
>she actually says yes
>holyshitwhat.jpg
>she dumps me a month later
>rage_and_depression
>don't take any interest in any girls for a few months
>then i get a new schedule, and meet her, the girl i've ben waiting for

cont?
>>
self bump
>>
>>717294990
Don't ask whether you should continue. Just type the fucking thing.
>>
>>717294990
Don't ask for cont just give it you commie
>>
Cont
>>
>>717295494
thanks

>i didn't notice her immediately bc y'know
>socially awkward
>i eventually notice a symbol under her jacket
>she sat across from me
>i ask if she can show me her shirt
>she is confused and shows me
>the band that i loved so dearly
>i get super excited and ask if she likes that band as well
>she does
>ohshitwhat
>start to talk to her more and more irl
>she follows me on twitter and sends me a message out of nowhere
>"you smoke weed, right?"
>i didn't
>"nah, sorry. why?"
>"oh. i thought you did? i don't know. i'm sorry."
>we just kept chatting
>got her number
>talked all the fucking time
>she asks if i would want to sneak out with her one day, completely random

now cont?
>>
Go
>>
>>717295806
Go on
>>
>>717295806

>i've never snuck out before
>"um, sure? what brings this up"
>i tell her that i've never snuck out before, and that it would have to be a special night
>she says that's fine
>first night we plan to do it
>my parents stayed up literally all night and would have caught me
>text her saying that i can't
>next day ask her what we would have done
>"i thought we could fuck or something..."

bit of backstory before i continue; somehow convince her to send me nudes bc i told her i was sending nudes to other girls and was curious if she wanted some or not (i wasn't sexting other girls, again, utter beta). she said yeah, and we just sent nude photos, no romance or shit in any of it

>i respond back after a minute
>"...what?"
>we talk, and i tell her i've been laid once
>never was, i was trying to convince her that i wasn't socially inept by lying to her
>she said that she was still a virgin and has never even held a guy's hand
>she seemed so badass, it seemed impossible for her to never date a guy
>>
>>717296323
More
>>
>>717296323

>invite her over to my house while my parents were gone
>this was before we ever snuck out
>i show her around the house
>get her into my room
>grab the back of her head and kiss her
>godshesuckedatkissing.jpg
>roll with it, and get on my bed after making out for a bit
>she takes her shirt off
>i unhook her bra on my first try
>never done that before
>we both completely strip
>she gives me a blowjob
>i was a pussy and didn't wanna fuck
>there was no fucking way she had never done this before

cont? is this good/bad?
>>
>>717296546
fhukken cont! Dont leave us hanging
>>
>>717296546
It's ok
>>
>>717296546
my apologies, i've never done a greentext that is this long. please bear with me.

>we both eventually get our clothes back on
>i walk her out to her car
>"wanna get in the backseat and do it again, Anon?"
>deargodyes
>she gives me another blowjob, and she swallows it all
>she giggles and gives me a kiss on the cheek
>"i've liked you for a long time, y'know."
>i didn't know what to say and smile and say the same thing back
>we kiss, and then she leaves
>fast forward a week or two later, finally decide to sneak out, tell her where to pick me up
>i'm waiting in front of some mailboxes at 1 in the morning with a hoodie on
>"WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?"
>i see a man walk out from his house with a handgun
>>
>>717297100
Ooooh shit
>>
>>717297100
I like where this is going
>>
i hope he shot you for being such a humble-bragging faggot
>>
>>717297100

>i freak out and my heart starts beating
>"i-i'm sorry, sir? i'm afraid i don't understand."
>i was saying sir bc i didn't want to get shot
>he ignores what i said
>"WHO ARE YOU AND WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN FRONT OF MY HOUSE THIS LATE?"
>"i'm sorry, sir, i'm just meeting a friend and i--"
>"WHAT KIND OF FRIEND, HUH?"
>"sir, i live right down the street--"
>i point down the street i lived on
>"BULLSHIT, NEVER SEEN YOU AROUND HERE BEFORE
>"sir, i don't mean any harm at all, i'm so sorry"
>"YOU BETTER GET OUT OF HERE BY THE TIME I COUNT TO THREE"
>"yes sir"
>i walk down the opposite street from where i live
>i hear him pull the hammer back, it was very loud

cont?
>>
>>717297490
Yes
>>
>>717297490
Yes! I want him to fuck your ass with that cocked pistol!
>>
>>717295806
What band was it?
>>
continue anon
>>
What do you look like OP?
>>
>>717298036
Black lmao
>>
Continue please
>>
>>717297490
>inb4 op being Michael Brown writing from the dead
>>
>>717297860
not one everybody enjoys, so i'm not going to say it. please understand.

>>717297490

>i start speedwalking
>hear nothing for a few minutes
>give her a call
>"meet me at XYZ, and DO NOT go to where i told you to"
>"o-okay anon, i trust you"
>she picks me up and i'm shaking
>tell her what happened
>she kisses me and says it's okay
>we go to my old high school and walk around the campus at 1:30 am
>we go under the bleachers and make out
>finally fuck her
>deargodyes
>took a good 10 minutes, i think
>we get our clothes back on and go back to her car
>just lay in the backseat with her for 3 hours
>4:30 am
>ohfuck
>tell her to drive me back
>super stressed out, and get dropped off
>i sprint home, hoping that cunt wasn't still out there
>next day, mom and i leave to go somewhere and stop by the mailboxes
>Mcree the neighbor stops by our car
>"hey, wanted to give y'all a heads up about something that happened last night"
>>
Hm, This needs to be read out by Bren-daddy if it goes on for a while...

Tis' be a shame we may never get another "Tales from 4chan" on /b/...

Then again, this story is pretty shit so far, especially cosnidering the thread was meant to share highschool stories, and only op is sharing, when it's quite obvious people want to hear the end.

Yet he continues to ask "Cont?", perhaps to keep the thread more active, to make his story be on the front longer...

Cmon man.
>>
>>717298090
OP here, and i will post pic after story.
>>
Fucking neighbor. Go on.
>>
>>717298393
Just fucking say it. We don't know who you are
>>
>>717298393
say it nobody knows who you are
>>
>>717298452
like i've said, i'm not the best. let it be.

>>717298393

>my heart starts beating fast
>i'm wearing the same hoodie
>he never looks at me
>mcshit tells the entire story utterly wrong
>says i was black (i'm white), and that i said "brother" or "nigga" after everything
>i have a deep voice, so that may have been why?
>anyways, turns out that he called the cops like 3 minutes after she picked me up
>never saw them
>they investigated the neighborhood, didn't find jack shit
>i'm about to be sick
>my mom says thanks and we drive off
>"what'd ya think of that, sweetie?"
>"some people are so screwed up, that sounded scary"
>i text her telling her what happened
>she said she was so glad that nothing major happened to me
>all of this happened before we ever went on an official "date"
>i decide to actually ask her out on a date
>she smiles and says yes
>dear god she had the cutest smile
>that friday i meet her at a sushi place (we both loved sushi)
>we go to see a movie
>may 6th
>tell all of my "friends" that we started dating and the gun incident
>>
>>717298999
Checked and go on
>>
>>717298797
>>717298977
twenty one pilots, a month or two after "vessel" was released. bad band, i know.

>>717298999

>this was the happiest time in my entire life, i had somebody to finally call mine
>meet her everyday by her locker, typical high school shit
>2 weeks before school gets out, school has this "field day" thing
>large assembly, literally a car show in the front parking lot
>note: she was socially awkward as well
>her and i hang out all day
>we watched a friend get shit faced
>we got our yearbooks
>i was the only one she let sign hers
>don't even remember what i said
>she blushes and tries hiding her face
>i comfort her by holding her hand and shit
>my birthday was the next week and she told me that she had been planning out what she was going to get me for weeks
>>
>>717299593
Does she die at the end? This feels like it's leading up to her dying.
>>
>>717299593
>inb4 you find her fuckin a nigger
>>
>>717299837
Nah he is getting cucked, I can feel it
>>
>>717299837
Then you know what you have to do, don't you?
>>
>>717299939
Kill myself?
>>
Please don't end it with you getting cucked
>>
ITT, op types slow.
>>
>>717299982
No... well yes, but not what i meant. Clearly you should be screen capping this whole thing so that it can be used in a feels thread later on (or ylyl thread if he was cucked (or both if he was cucked then she died))
>>
>>717300097
8-10 minutes is WAY better than some others
>>
>>717299593

>we had school on my birthday, plus 3 finals
>lunch comes around
>she's trying so hard not to smile
>i give in
>she tells me to close my eyes and hold out my hand
>she kisses me first
>that was a dream come true for me at the time, really.
>she hands me some sheets of paper and something soft
>i open them and one was a Ditto Squirtle plushie she ordered straight from Japan (we both loved Pokemon, and Ditto was my favorite)
>the sheets of paper were sheets of music for twenty one pilots songs, and how to read sheet music
>she hand wrote the instructions
>i was teaching myself how to play
>it was the cutest thing
>she drew hearts everywhere and tried drawing both of us
>i tell her that i loved them and all of the sudden i felt a feeling in my chest, and ignore it
>we go throughout our day, and then school ended for the summer that week
>i was in NYC for a week, and she was very depressed bc she had family issues going on
>i bought her some Pokemon stuff from the Nintendo World store and tell her i have a surprise for her when i get back
>i get back and we go out to eat
>i give her the bag and she opens it
>she gives that beautiful smile again and hugs me super tight
>few days later, get a text from a friend
>"yo, i'm having a movie night. bring QRST with you."
>>
>>717300186
True, true.
but how many of them can touch type without the reliance of having to look at the keys?
>>
>>717300275

i had to shit at one point, and finding the right words to describe what happens is difficult. please excuse me.
>>
>>717300255
inb4 your friend fucks here
>>
>>717300355
Goddammit I meant her
>>
>>717300275
Not touch typing? In 2017? Nah
>>
>>717300334
By all means :)
>>
>>717298281
top kek m8
>>
>>717300255
I'm beginning to not like this story. I really don't want to get punched in the feels.
>>
>>717300275
Wait there are people in this world that can't do that? Ok, sure i work at a computer all day, but still
(> can only type 30ish wpm)
>>
>>717300525
I can sense a build up of such then BAM, right in the feels.
>>
>>717300588
I can type around 80wpm without having to look at the keys on average.
>>
Fuck you op if this indeed is feels. I just got dumped by gf of 4 years. Not in the mood for this girl dying or something.
>>
>>717300641
For keyboard I can type at about 55 maybe without looking at the keys Max 75 wpm
>>
>>717300255

>movie night comes along, and i bring her with me
>10-15 other people there
>she practically clings on to me bc she knew 1 person there
>she's laying on me as we're watching some cheesy kung fu shit
>i can tell she's trying not to fall asleep
>the feeling in my chest comes back
>i feel it and i think i knew it
>i mouth the words, just to see if even that could work for me
>i do it several times and my heart starts racing
>she squeezes me and kisses my neck bc she could hear it
>"it's okay Anon, i'm here"
>she was so fucking good to me, i never deserved her.
>movie night ends, and i have to leave early because i had strict ass parents
>she drives me home
>we make out in my driveway a bit and i go to my bed and i cry
>happy tears
>this was it
>i was going to tell her the words
>that all men feared
>but i had been lusting to tell somebody for my entire life
>i was going to tell her i loved her
>>
>>717300641
I can touch type at about 120 wpm without not unlooking at the keys.
>>
>>717300641
Yeah, one of my coworkers can type near 100 wpm. i really need to work on my typing skills, it's a bit depressing
>>
>>717300588
>>717300641
>>717300776
>>717300791
OP here. average of 70 WPM without looking. mechanical keyboards rule.
>>
>>717300776
>>717300791
Envious to those that can beyond 100wpm.
>>
>>717300774
by hear it i meant my heart beating. typing out next segment in a second.
>>
We're all over here talking about how fast we can type when OP is about to reach the climax of his story
>>
>>717300834
Yeah, i concur, just got one myself. It's a bit noisy so i don't know if I'll use it at the office or leave it at home...
>>
>>717300791
Want some serious advice, download Typing of the Dead, an old Japanese arcade game based on house of the dead.
The practice and instruction segments of the game are excellent, and the game itself is really fun and funny. Can play it coop too.

If you can keep the coin up for 2+ minutes, you are doing the right thing.

"Always remember - the home position".
>>
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I'm posting this cause this story is stressing me cause I just know something shitty is going to happen.
>>
>>717301009
same here my friend

CONT OP
>>
>>717300996
Yeah, i started doing an online typing tutorial and I'm almost done with the beginner's section...
>>
>>717301009
Thanks anon, needed that smile in the midst of this story. Im in tears and nothing sad has even happened yet
>>
>>717300834
yeah, got a G710+ over here with the mx brown switches, it has improved my typing quite a bit due to the smoothness between the keys.
>>
>>717301009
Maybe there's going to be a plot twist and op killed himself, but op was never op and it was his girlfriend writing their love story from his perspective the entire time.
>>
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>>717301144
No problem, friend. Have another cat.
>>
>>717301261
you're thinking too deep
>>
>>717301302
You are not thinking deep enough, fucking normie
>>
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Please type quicker anon, I have a 250 word essay due tomorrow.
>>
>>717300942
leave it at home, don't disturb your coworkers. be courteous.

>>717300774

>i went to a summer camp for a week
>they let us keep our phones for some reason
>i called her every night to see how she was doing and to talk about our days
>each call was about an hour
>once i get back, i tell her to come over the next day and watch movies with me
>i was watching Neon Genesis Evangelion, and she saw it way before i did
>we watched the end of it together
>we put on some chick flick that she was concerned that i've never seen before
>she puts her head on my lap
>out of nowhere she looks at me in the eyes
>she was super serious
>she was never this serious
>she kissed me long and hard
>my heart melted then and there
>she went to my ear and whispered something
>"i love you. Anon. i love you, i love you, i love you. you make me so happy."
>i start crying because i was so happy and tell her i loved her as well
>she says that she felt like she had for a while
>even since the field day thing
>she kept a list of days of when she felt a strong feeling towards me and how she felt
>she showed me
>i cried even harder
>she wasn't crying
>she didn't really show too many emotions.
>her and i make out for a while and fuck on the couch with the movie still on
>parents were upstairs and were leaving us alone
>movie ends
>>
OP I'm really not in the mood for feels atm, please end on a happy note
>>
>>717301134
Don't bother with boring typing programmes, like I said - find "Typing of the Dead".
Then you can kill the undead with each key press.

The words they chose made me laugh until my stomach hurt too.
>>
>>717299593
not that bad a band
>>
>>717301371
250 words? Don't you have ten minutes spare?
>>
>>717301172
OP here. razer blackwidow X chroma TE. good quality, but paid way too much.
>>
>>717301388
same
>>
>>717301440
I definitely should buy that game, i watched a video on it, fucking hilarious shit
>>
Can this now be a touch typing thread?
>>
>>717300892
waiting
>>
>>717301542
OP here. fuck you. story is close to ending. 2-4 more posts and then it's over.
>>
>>717301385
I've been around the block a few times, you can't tell me this doesn't have a shitty ending. The suspense is killing me! I need to know how this ends.
>>
>>717301580

Hurry the fuck up.
>>
>>717301488
Think it is on steam nowadays.
The makers really had a sense of humour, but the tutorial and practice sections are top notch. They take some time but will seriously increase your speed and accuracy.
>>
>>717301580
No offence intended, just my legs are going numb sitting on the toilet waiting for your story to finish.
>>
>>717301580
Take your time op, I need to fetch some tissues anyway <.<
>>
>>717301734
Where will the tears be cuming from?
>>
>>717301580
>open the door
>get on the floor
>>
>>717301580
op not to be a jackass but seriously wrap this shit up and quit wasting time bitching at us
>>
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>>717301462
...
>>
>>717301805
>everybody walk the dinosaur
>>
>>717301805
>Everybody fuck the dinosaur?
>>
>>717301385

>we stare at each other for a little bit, and then she says that she has to leave
>neither of us wanted to leave each other, obviously
>i walk her out to her car
>i kiss her goodbye and try to leave but she pulls me back and keeps kissing me
>we both say "i love you" and then she leaves
>next day
>i call my dad and tell him what happened
>he was happy for me
>never told mom
>she texts me later that day and tells me to come over
>i come over after i got off of working
>she's home alone
>we go to her room and fuck, obviously
>watch more movies
>regular couples shit
>she sits me down and tells me that she has something important to tell me
>>
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no high school dating greentext thread would be complete without this
>>
I like memes
>>
>>717301897
Here we go
>>
>>717301802
Tip of my peen, why else do I need tissues?
>>
>>717301897
grab the fuckin tissues man
>>
>>717301897
Grabbing the drink.
>>
>>717301897
Holy shit I thought you fucked your mom
>>
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>>717301897
oh boy
>>
>>717301907
tldr?
>>
>>717301897
Oh god here it comes
>>
>>717302092
Absolute fuckin kek, my sad tears turned to laughing tears
>>
>>717301897
she's preggo
>>
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>>
>>717302180
kek
>>
>>717302156

she's a dude
>>
She's fucking pregnant.
There's been no Condom jokes this whole time even though it's highschool, we all know she's pregnant.
>>
>>717301897
seen this before, it is a pasta.
Things go fine with the girl, but when it is his 16th birthday his parents buy him the normal version of a new truck instead of the deluxe version which was only a few thousand more.
Op flips out and smashes up the truck with a baseball bat then throws his macbook at the windscreen of it.

That is the sad ending.
>>
>>717302200
dubs confirm
>>
>>717302237
I think i saw that video before kek. older brother? recording him being spoiled as FUUUUCK.
>>
>>717302131
guy meets a lolita who turns out to be psycho
>>
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>>
>>717302131
>Dude meets crazy chick into Lolita fashion in school
>He's awkward, she's awkward so they end up friends
>She brings him to her house
>He wants to touch boob cause he's desperate
>She brings him to a shed where she keeps tools and shit
>She probably kills people or something
>Later he gets to fuck her
>He stuck his dick in crazy
>They moved in together
>>
>>717302306
wafflepwn
>>
>>717302306
All those "freak out" videos are fake
>>
>>717301897
>obviously worried bc she rarely gets serious
>i can tell that she was about to drop a bomb on me that i was not ready for
>"um, how do i say it..."
>JUST DO IT AND RIP ME TO SHREDS
>"you know how bad my immune system is, right?"

side note: she had some major medical problems when she was younger and was trying to get over it still, 11 years later

>ohfuckwhat'shappening
>"well... it's come back."
>she starts crying
>this was the first time i ever saw her cry.
>i hold her and i start crying, too.
>"i... i have liver cancer."
>i don't remember the name of it anymore.
>i start bawling
>"it's the worst kind, baby. i have no more than a month left to live."
>>
>>717300525
Same bro my feels are already pretty dead :( so no pls
>>
>>717302406
This sounds fake as fuck
>>
>>717302406
I knew it. fucking knew it.
>>
>>717302406
fucking knew it.
>>
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>>717302406
>>
>>717302474
Yeah no shit
>>
>>717302406
OP PLEASE
>>
>>717302406
FUCK I KNEW IT WAS GOING TO BE FUCKING CANCER
>>
>>717302406
>Open the door
>get on the floor
>a walk to remember the dinosaur
>>
Fuckme.jpg man the feels rn
>>
>>717302500
kek
>>
>>717302406
fake and gay
>>
>>717302406
Anon ffs its 1/1/17 and its already the saddest year of my life...
>>
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this has never happened before
> im a loser
> get a friend in loserhood
> date the friend
> fuck the friend
> love the friend
> friend is sick
> rip the friend
> now am sad boi
>>
"By the way.. [Enter fake ass plot twist]"
>>
>>717302383
fucking classic stuff, too bad it went inactive
>>
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>>717301897
THIS IS PUTTING ME ON EDGE
>>
>>717300774
Well right in the feels but in the good way
>>
>>717302406
goddamn it, "she has cancer" might as well be the new "walk the dinosaur"
>>
>>717302406
This is a high school dating thread not a fucking feels thread man... :(
>>
>>717302406
nononononononononononononononono
nononononononononononononononono
noooooooooo
>>
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>>717302406
bullshit

op you didnt get me in the feels zone
>>
Welp, back to playing Typing of the dead. thanks for that depressing turn of events.
>>
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>>717302406
Fuck you OP. Fuck you and fuck your story.
>>
>>717302580
it was fake
>>
I almost started to get feels until you pulled the generic story plot twist. It's been done too many times.
>>
>>717302617
little known fact, no child has ever died of cancer.
cancer is only found in adults due to the way the cells work.

nice try op
>>
>>717302406
I like how you fucked and watched movies and did "regular couple shit" for hours before she told you lmao
>>
>>717301907
What the fuck is that ending????
>She killed two girls but that isn't interesting
>>
>>717302720
she had to juice him up
>>
this is stupid...how to ruin a story in just a few words.
>>
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>>
>>717302677
Hehe
start making typing of the Dead threads when you become good.
>>
>>717302704
Fucking kek
>>
FUCK YOU OP
You got me waiting here now expecting to see more green text because you type so fucking slow, even though I know it's finished.
Well played sir.
>>
>14 years old
>get my first girlfriend ever
>so scared im gonna fuck shit up that i dont even touch her hand
> end up going to her house and do her chores.
>this goes on for weeks
> never get anywhere with her

god it was pathetic
>>
>>717302474
>>717302508
no, it's not. let it end. i'll post face and time stamp when it's over, just to kind of prove it's not fake.

>>717302406

>we both start crying together, and this goes on for an hour or two.
>i call my parents and ask if i can spend the night at her house and tell them what's going on
>mom starts crying and says, "yes, spend as much time as you can with her"
>her parents were OK with it as well
>she falls asleep on me several hours later, and her eyes were puffy and super red
>we were in her living room
>i didn't sleep
>i watched her sleep on me all night long.
>i don't remember passing out, but i do remember waking up.

next post is the final one.
>>
>>717302315
>guy meets a lolita who turns out to be psycho
So he met a lolita
>>
>be beta male

Cont? Sorry I'm not good at greentext
>>
ahhahahahahahahamnoooooo PLEASE GOD NOOooaidjfjjdjehwjajajjawahhhhhhhhahahahahahah
>>
>>717302890
kek, /thread
>>
>>717302890
Let me guess you get cancer at the end?
>>
>>717302704
she was diagnosed with it when she was younger, but it was very weak and the doctors thought they got rid of it then.
>>
>>717302845
fucking bullshit

im gonna call it-
girl died that night and he woke up with a zombie eating him alive
>>
Dude just fucking post the rest...the text box can hold 5000 characters and your post was nowhere near that
>>
Did you guys commit suicide together?
>>
>>717303063
isn't it 2000?
>>
>>717303063
I thought it was 2000?
>>
>>717302783
Holy shit that sounds like every 1920s romance.
>>
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>>717302527
>>
How does a face post prove that it's real?
>>
>>717303080
yes I am OP and I am the kids mom. I am a single milf hit me up
>>
>>717302845
>wake up spooning with her
>turn her face towards me
>blood pouring out from her mouth
>her eyes are glazed white
>ohshitohshitohshit
>call my mom asking her what the fuck I should do
>she get's scare
>tells me that I'm moving with my auntie and uncle in Bel Air
>>
Cancer of the Dead
>>
>>717303128
probably gonna google some bullshit lol
>>
>>717303128
It proves he really wrote the story.
>>
Calling it now, she's gonna need about "Tree Fiddy"
>>
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>>717302967
Fkin cringe newfags
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER
>>
OP's story in a nutshell:

>be me
>16, got girlfriend
>girlfriend cheats on me
>leave her in anger
>4 years later
>still haven't talked to her
>suddenly, get phone call
"I'm sorry, Buttonmasher. Girlfriend has been in a terrible accident."
>suddenly feel regret
>rush to hospital to reconcile
>find out her room number
>run there as quickly as possible
>open the door
>get on the floor
>everybody walk the dinosaur

GF died, but no regrets since I walked the dinosaur.
>>
>>717303162
YOURE NOT FUCKING DOING RIGHT YOU CUMT
>>
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>>717303162
>>
/v/ is best grill. /b/ a shit
>>
>>717303162
>mum got scared
>>
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>>717303162
>>
>>717303176
Doesn't mean it's real
>>
>>717303258
>/b/ a shit

That made me laugh harder than it should have
>>
>>717303162
I laughed way too hard at this
>>
>>717303267
>mum got scarce

it's gonna be a double upload today guys
>>
>>717303318
yes it does
>>
>>717303162
FUCKING KEK
>>
>>717303373
Maybe he kept her corpse and it's in the room with him
>>
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>>717303162
>lemme get uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
>>
>>717303368
>what's up guy

O shit
>>
>>717303318
Are you actually retarded?
>>
>>717303373
It proves he wrote it, not that it's real. Anyone can write a fictional story and then post their face without the story being true.
>>
>>717303424
fucking metal
>>
>>717303168
haha
>>
>>717303433
omg I luv le South park :p xD
>>
>>717303368
/b/ is dead
>>
>>717303484
I bet he's not even going to be black
>>
>>717302845
>>
op hurry ur ass up
>>
Oh great, /b/'s flooding into this thread.
God that sucks.
>>
>>717303718
I flooded my cummies into your mom
>>
>>717303771
My mum is ded. She died of cancer.
>>
>>717303838
I'm sorry about your gas mileage son.
>>
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>>717302845

last part

>she had died that night.
>her face was cold, and i couldn't move her arms off of me
>i couldn't speak
>i was freaking out
>she was dead
>on me
>on me
>she died
>she was dead
>i couldn't say goodbye
>i couldn't say i love you anymore
>i couldn't do all of the things i planned to do with her anymore
>we couldn't have grown old together
>we would never have kids
>never would get married
>i fainted
>i woke up at home.
>i was in tears and asked my parents where she was
>they started crying
>they said that she had to have an autopsy
>they took me to see her, or to try
>2 weeks later, i was super depressed and didn't leave the house. i cried more than i should have
>her funeral happened
>i don't remember what i said
>i was too lightheaded
>she was put in the ground
>i didn't leave for a few hours

that's all i know about my sister and her ex boyfriend. she wrote most of the events that happened into her diary, and i talked to her boyfriend afterwards about it. our family got to see her diary after she passed because it was hers. sorry for the twist ending and everything. thank you all for listening.
>>
>>717303838
Didya moov to Bel Air 2?
>>
>>717303878
Might as well an hero OP
>>
>>717303878

what the fuck
>>
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>>717303654
>>717302500
>>717303368
>noice memes guiz xDDDDDDD
>>
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>>
>>717303878
I Call bs
>>
>>717303878
I wanted to let you know, I stayed up 2 hours past my planned sleep for this.

Was not disappointed.

wait, how does this relate to your sister?
>>
>>717303878
Kek
Was so close with >>717301261
>>
>>717304062
I call TMobile
>>
>>717303878
>Razer Headset
>>
>>717301261
This fucker called it. 10/10
>>
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>>717303878
>Dies of cancer
>Not even in hospital or with her family
>Died on top of him while her parents were absent
>>
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>>717303878
Whatta twist
>>
what now
>>
>>717304127
Not really, but thanks anyway...
>>
>>717304079
it's their feels love story.
>>717304107
point?
>>
>>717303878

Wait what? So you just wrote a story about how your sister had sex with some dude and pretended to be that dude and have his emotions about what they went through?

You're a fucking sick individual and you need help.
>>
You tugged at my feels, then made me tear up a bit, then pissed me off and finally left me unfulfilled whilst laughing randomly throughout all of it. GG on the story OP, interesting way to start the year
>>
>>717304259
i agree on this
what the fuck op
>>
>>717304259
i talked to him about their experience. she spent her whole life kind of alone, and this was this happiest she ever was in her life. i thought /b/ would find something entertaining about this shit.
>>
you went on and on about how many times your dead sister fucked some guy in high school, and how there's no way she's never blown a guy because she was so good at it, but never once foreshadowed that she was sick? Weird op. Weird.
>>
>>717304259
if this is true you're forgetting that this guy's sister died of cancer. maybe it fucked him up and it's a way of coping?
>>
>>717303878
twist covered the demand for extra information.

at least you finished it, bravo op
>>
Is OP's sister dead?
>>
>>717304317
OP secretly wanted to fuck his sister
>>
so let me get this straight
>op writes story about meeting a girl and fucking her and all this shit
>actually it was his sister's boyfriend and she was dead, so he writes it from boyfriend perspective because he wants to fuck her so bad
>>
op do u have her nudes?
>>
>>717304339
yes.
>>717304327
it was on purpose.
>>
>>717304259
Hey, he got to live vicariously through them just as we did. Also, some people like sad endings (or melancholy as only one of them died)
>>
>be me at 16
>get first gf
>7/10, she was 18
>get drunk one night at a party with her
>go home, start texting
>try to be sexy
>send her a vid of me doing foreskin farts
>don't know why i thought they'd be sexy, i was really drunk
>get insta dumped
>vid circulates
>become laughing stock
>>
Honestly best feels ive seen in a while OP. Hope this ends decent...
>>
>>717304327
haha that is what makes it a classic

read it back in your mind retrospectively, it makes the story even better.
>>
>>717304453
Too lazy, I'll just wait for the screen cap to come out...
>>
>>717304425
pretty cool
if you make a joke out of it and offer to give live performances when girls ask about it, you will become mighty.


these kinds of things mostly depend on how you handle your reaction.
if you are above it and roll with it, it usually works out better,
>>
2017 is going to be a good year. Good job OP nice twist. Sorry about your sister.
>>
>>717304324
And he just told you about all the blowjobs he got from your sister and the times they fucked? You gotta understand it's a little fucked to RP as your dead sisters boyfriend. You could have told it normally without the pretending to be him. But whatever, sorry about your sister, at least she got to have some happy shit happen to her before all that cancer.
>>
>>717304556
The blueray release has been delayed due to some rights issues, also because the director's commentary is taking longer than expected.
>>
>>717304556
OP here. screencap would be amazing, if anybody would be so nice. i'm too tired and lazy.
>>717304608
it's fine man, it happened a long time ago. and the twist was meant to get a violent reaction.
>>
>>717304246
My point is your a faggot preteen
>>
>>717304634
note op didn't really focus on the sex, just mentions it and skims over it.

normally the sex is described in full.

this one will become a classic, spread it around and see
>>
>>717304634
it is fucked up, but it was only between him and i. nobody else. he never told his parents, and i never told mine.
>>
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>>717304425
>foreskin farts
I'm gonna need that one explained to me
>>
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rip OP's sister
>>
>>717294990
>be me in high school
>girls won't come near me because I'm gross
>>
>>717304425
>try to be sexy
>send her a vid of me doing foreskin farts

I know you were drunk anon but come on
>>
>>717304715
i bought them 3ish years ago. they still work perfectly. give me a break.
>>
>>717304927
Are foreskin farts going to be the new /b/ meme, now?
>>
>>717304760
Dress up like her, and sext him some photos of your butt with tight leggings or a semi-lifted skirt.

Offer to repeat the bkowjobs and sexy times with him.
Grow your hair long.

He'll probably develop quite a strong attachment to you.
>>
>>717305083

That sounds hot. OP do this and take pics and video
>>
>>717305083
what the fuck? no.
>>
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>>717305059
>>
anybody have the screencap yet?
>>
>>717305242
What the fuck is this?
>>
>>717305241
Eat a lot of soy, and wax your body.
He'll appreciate it.

Norman would be proud.
>>
>>717303878
So, the bj part when you said she swallowed all of it and smiled. Was that in your sisters diary or did her ex tell you that about your dead sister?
>>
>>717305459
she wrote about them going in the backseat, and he filled me in on the rest.
>>
>>717304802
Just came back to this thread
>stretch out foreskin
>close it at the end to trap loads of air under your foreskin
>push your japs eye back where it's meant to be
>pull foreskin back, air escapes and makes a farting sound
>>
>>717305565
"He filled my mouth up with the rest"

Post pic of you in a tight dress, stockings and heels op.
>>
>>717305565
So let me get this straight, your dead sisters ex boyfriend that loved her so much and then she died on him (literally) told you that she swallowed up all of his cum and smiled.
>>
>>717305725
how about you fuck off?

also, OP here. thank you all so much. sorry for the twist ending. somebody please screencap it, i need to go to sleep.
>>
>>717305783
yes. i told him not to censor anything, and he stayed true to that idea.
>>
>>717305842
Tell him to use lots of lube as it is your first time.
Maybe something fruit scented.

Enjoy.
>>
>>717303878
I am sorry for your loss OP
>>
>>717305842
You guys are fucking sick. In a good manner of course.
>>
>>717305985
i hated hearing all of the details as well. it was not easy to hear.
>>
OP here. if somebody has the screencaps. that'd be amazing. going away in 5 minutes.
>>
i got some screenshots. goodnight all, thank you for letting me post this bizarre story. hope all of your 2017's aren't as shitty as 2016.
Thread posts: 279
Thread images: 29



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