No school stories thread? School stories thread. >Grade 8

>>717037931
More

>>717037931
m o a r

>>717037931
When OP finishes, I have a fun little story involving an autistic nignog. Reply if you wanna hear, I'll be on standby.

>>717038474
I am OP and i wanna hear

>>717038474
im always down for an autismo story

>>717038474
>autistic
>nignog
Don't repeat yourself Anon, redundancy is bad. Anyway, I do want to hear your story.

>>717037931
When OP finishes, I have a fun little story as well regarding something I did in high school.

What? Because she was Jewish. That's a stretch bro.....

File: IMG_2414.jpg (94KB, 750x718px) Image search: [Google]

94KB, 750x718px

>>717037931
More op please

>>717037931
Short story of my miserable life.

>be me 31
>got my ass kicked on the daily in high school by jocks
>after school plan secret revenge on world
>instead just spend years fapping to tranny porn
>hate fags
>blame all my problems and antisocial behavior on women
>sometimes fantasies about mother

File: batmang.jpg (55KB, 486x409px) Image search: [Google]

55KB, 486x409px

>>717038960

>>717037931
OK guys, ill post some more

>Grade 8
>US History class
>teacher talking about slavery and whatnot
>teacher brings up the fact that slavemasters raped their slaves
>Friend from last story (lets call him K) says "nice!!!"
>I think I chuckle but in reality i laugh while trying not to show it, making it obvious to teacher
>teach asks "Anon, whats so funny about slaves being raped?"
>shitnigga.jpg
>stutter like a motherfucker
>class gives me this look, especially the black kids
>shhhhhhheeeeeeiiiiiitttttttt.png
>dont raise my hand or even speak for rest of day
>mfw K never got caught

Alright, autismo nogger story inbound:

>be me
>high school chorus (inb4fineartsfag)
>be chilling with friends (important ones we'll call Ron and Mike)
>there's this one fucking black dude in class
>has the same name as me, so extra embarrassing

Let me just describe him out of greentext for a bit. He's legitimately autismo, and of course, black.

Now, I bet some of you are asking yourselves 'Huh, autistic people tend to obsess over stuff like anime or Nintendo or something, right? What does this guy obsess over?'

>FUCKING D I S N E Y C H A N N E L
>this guy never stops talking about teen beach movie or some shit like that

Anyways, I'll describe him more.

>shorter than me (which is fucking crazy because i was a 5' 4" manlet)
>always spoke with a clearly fake gay lisp, like he was always moaning
>like, seriously, imagine the dude from the 'I am the captain now' meme but constantly moaning, that's his voice

cont.

(Also I'm on mobile, forgive typos pls)

I'm a senior (18) and remember the clown craze the other month? I got the school on lockdown and cops to search the school because of it, Green text?

I don't have a story but a girl got expelled for sucking dick in the boys room. I believe it was 9th grade. I'd like to read her greentext.

>>717039667
Sounds stupid. Keep it to yourself to avoid the embarrassment.

>>717039963
Fuck you asshole

>>717040153
Oops, did I get your panties in a bunch?

>>717039492
Okay, before we get into the story, I seriously need to describe this fucker to you first.

>whenever you'd have your phone out, he would more than likely sit next to you and lean in
>not subtly, he would literally be more in front of the screen of your phone than you were
>when you'd confront him about it he would just giggle and go away

Like, what the shit, right?

>he also sings randomly, usually out of tune, squeakily and scrambly
>like lil Wayne, young thug, Brian Johnson and a Somalian warlord had a child that grew up in the gay part if Hollywood
>his idols include Demi Lovato and Taylor Swift
>he writes his own fucking songs

Not to brag, but me, Ron, and Mike are good singers and we blend well, so this fucked always pulls at least one of us to the side to listen to the songs he wrote. Spoiler: they're absolute ass

Here's a few examples of lyrics he'd put in his songs, accompanied by a terrible guitar chord:

"I just wanna be my seeEEeeELf"
"I wanna be a shOOOOooting starrr"
"We'd travel the galaxYYY"

Ron would usually ignore him, I'd give him all of the scrounged up constructive criticism that I could gather, and Mike (the one with a spine) actually told him that it was bad to his face

>he always responds with 'its not good!?'
>no shit, but me being me I couldn't say that stuff to his face
>bless mike and ron for keeping me sane

cont.

>>717037931
Moar

>Be me
>6th grade
>Insanely feminist social studies teacher
>We are talking about 1600's England or Spain, can't remember
>"And Queen Elizibeth (Idk if that's actually who it was) ruled all the citizens"
>Chad stands up
>Why didn't the king do anything? I thought men and women were equal.
>Teacher looks up, clearly pissed
>"Chad, can I see you in the hall?"
>mfw he got a 3 day in school suspension

Anyone want more stories on her?

>>717041015
Moar

>>717041015
m o a r

>be me 6th grade
>Computer lab learning to type on the keyboard
>Teacher tells everyone how to sign in to there typing account
>Everyone has the same password
>discovers theres a leaderboard with people with people with the highest scores with there name etc
>login to autistic kids typing account make him 1nd on leader
<week later get caught
<gets suspended for 2 days

>be me
>grade 3
>recess time
>wearing loose shorts, no underwear
>while playing tag or some shit accidentally shit self
>shit solid
>thank you god
>shake shit out of pants
>turn 360 degrees and walk away
>come back later to laugh at poop on blacktop with everybody else, like a boss

>>717040524
>he always comes to me first because I'm a guitarfag
>he'd always try to get me to play the guitar for him in talent shows and I'd respond with "oh, I dunno if I'll be entering" (and I would)
>me and this other chick who we'll call Becca keep tossing him around because she plays guitar fairly well too
>i'd go "ask Becca" and she'd say "ask anon"
>sometimes he would actually join and play the guitar and sing one of the songs he wrote himself
>imagine a short black autismo strumming a single guitar chord and singing a cheap ripoff of a Demi Lovato song in the middle of a room of like 40 chicks, a disappointed teacher, and like 8 guys
>me and my other friend made death grips jokes because haha

So yeah, he sucks, right? But that's not all.

>this fucker refuses to listen to us
>when we tell him to match a pitch, he'll sing an entirely different pitch and when confronted about it he says "ummm *smacks lips* (he legitimately does that) I think I know what I'm doing..." Or something like "I have perfect pitch" when he obviously fucking doesn't
>he will try changing the pitch not by using his vocal chords, but by CHANGING THE SHAPE OF HIS LIPS
>no matter how much we tell him that using his lips won't work, he keeps fucking doing it
>point is, this fucker is the most delusional piece of shit I've ever met

Cont.

File: 50.gif (726KB, 196x199px) Image search: [Google]

726KB, 196x199px

>>717038960
kek

>>717037931
>grade 6
>masturbate in class
>had some fucked up dream to jerk off everywhere

>>717040432
Ya that wasn't me the senior, I'm not that much a fag

>>717041015
Alright
>Still 6th grade
>On a field trip to one of those, "Come see how people lived in the olden days" places
>We come up to little cabin
>Guide invites us in
>Me and my asian friend walk up to the door
>"Ladies first" I say, gesturing him ahead
>Social studies teacher from before hears
>"Hey anon, stay behind for a sec"
>"Yes?" I say scared
>"Why did you say that? It wasn't funny and it could have really hurt if he actually identified as a girl"
>I had to hold her hand through the rest of the field trip

More?

File: notevenmad.png (1MB, 1200x826px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 1200x826px

>4th grade
>all the kids would hang out in the bathroom to talk
>some fucker decided it would be funny to piss in the radiator
>bathroom reeked of piss for months
>had school assembly
>principal pretty much said it's fucked up to do that and they'll find who did it
>MFW it was me

>>717039473
This is on another trip earlier in the year. A movie trip where the entire 8th grade went to an empty theater. This was the first and last time we went on a movie trip that yeat

>Be early December, friday morning
>get ready to go to the movie
>getting hyped up on the bus
>playing pokemon, yelling, ususal 8th grade shit
>me and K are talking about where to sit and getting popcorn and shit
>I tell him about sitting with my gf and asking if he's ok with it
>he seems mad but is ok with it
>get into theater
>get comfy with gf
>she asks me for a drink and popcorn to share
>fuckit.gif
>get on line and get a tub of popcorn with a large slushie
>get back, theater's dark as hell
>whip out phone, turn on flashlight
>ask random friend if he wants popcorn
>turn camera towards him
>see a girl on her knees, giving him a sloppy bj,
>shocked, as i didn't see a bj before, i mean i've seen porn, but not the real thing up until that point
>walk to my seat, gf is happy with popcorn and slushie
>during the movie, get touchy/feely with gf but thats it
>never told anyone about this ordeal, and what i saw

Apparently I wasn't the only one who saw what went down. Teachers were notified and my friend was expelled and relocated to Atlanta for a year, whereas the girl claimed he forced her to do it, and went onto stay at the school and become saludatorian (nigga what)

>>717041556
Alright, now for the actual story.

>be at concert
>we're practicing
>we actually sound pretty good in the church we're singing in
>concert starts in a few minutes, people are coming in
>the guys have to start off the concert, so we're herded into a room that leads out to the stage
>pretty chaotic, some of the guys are ushers and we need them in the room
>we find them and get them in
>12 guys cramped in the same room, which is only about 6x6 ft
>we're in order of how we're supposed to get on stage
>guess who's behind me?

I'll cont. But I'm not sure if anyone is following

>>717041490
how you weren't caught amazes me

>>717041957
yes more

>>717042011
I'm following

File: 09_11_10.jpg (280KB, 600x1037px) Image search: [Google]

280KB, 600x1037px

>>717042011
im following

>>717042011
Yeah, keep going

File: IMG_2496.jpg (34KB, 480x476px) Image search: [Google]

34KB, 480x476px

This is a story of how I fucked up in elementary
>be me
>grade 5
>me and a few friends like to sit near an air vent past the main doors to the school during recess
>we liked to throw handfuls of rocks into them then hit the deck
>one day get caught and get threatened with ISS or OSS
>nobody else gets in trouble but me and the principle knows other we're involved and let's me off with a warning
>fuckyes.jpg
>later that day we get to play outside for a while
>female friend comes over to me
>tells me that if I ever see anon then to hit him in his ever loving balls
>dumbass me goes over to him
>massive fucking grin on my face while he's laughing
>like using fucking Thor's hammer to hit him in the nuts with my fist
>he begins screaming and crying while I walk off laughing my ass off
>get called into the office 30 minutes later
>this time my mother gets called
>she's pissed
>principle cuts more slack and says I can't go on class field trip
>ok

>>717037931
>>717039473
>>717041978
OP here, i got a couple more stories for you guys, if you're still following

>>717042672
Still following

>>717042011
Alright, and so the story progresses.

>the fucking autismo is behind me
>dark as fuck
>everyone in the room is quietly whispering, checking each other's suits and such
>this motherfucker says in a voice louder than everyone's "OKAY EVERYOND BE QUIET!"
>my hands become fists
>audience outside quiets, my teacher makes a pre-concert introduction
>in the middle of the dark, cramped room, the autismo does something to me from behind

Can anyone guess? Cont.

File: 41V-M6P2y2L.jpg (25KB, 500x439px) Image search: [Google]

25KB, 500x439px

>>717042672
Still following as well

>>717042948
if he didn't jerk off onto your back i'm going to be disappointed

>>717042948
starts jacking off?

>>717042948
Put a finger up your ass?

File: 26.jpg (35KB, 300x226px) Image search: [Google]

35KB, 300x226px

>>717043120
great minds think alike anon

File: 1468809253852.jpg (19KB, 462x483px) Image search: [Google]

19KB, 462x483px

>>717042948
Oh lord

>>717041957
>2 years later
>2 fired principals later
>Social studies teacher from before is now assistant principal
>We have a fire drill
>Me and a friend dick around in the parking lot while everyone else goes inside
>We finally decide to go in
>Find lost autistic kid on our way
>See her outside the door
>ohgodno.jpg
>"Can you boys come into my office"
>We walk in
>"What are you boys doing coming into the school 5 minutes after the drill"
>Friend is about to confess, I stop him
>"We were just helping our friend (let's call him Scott) who got lost on the way in"
>I point to Scott, who is violently twitching
>"Okay, who is your fire drill teacher"
>Friend tells her that's not the teacher who was teaching us after the drill like an idiot
>She doesn't care
>Writes down our names (Including Scott, who was very obviously confused by the situation) and tells us our actions have consequences
>mfw never got in trouble

>>717042948
what? for the love of god what happened

>>717042948
Sadly, it isn't as extreme as you guys would think.

>so, yeah, we're in a dark-ass room
>this motherfucker, after all the phone-snooping, terrible singing, and wanting me to sing
>this motherfucker puts his hand on my shoulder from behind
>complete
>fucking
>silence

I'm gonna be honest. Me and my friends do shit like this all the time and laugh because we know we're screwing around.

>THIS motherfucker had a lipped smile on his face, just touching his black ass hand on my white dress shirt from behind
>I tell ron and mike to look at my shoulder and they start laughing
>I move a bit forward and try to shake him off
>HE TIGHTENS HIS GRIP

I was scared for my life. I didn't know if he had autismo strength or not.

>suddenly, tall charming black friend saves the day
>"hey, man, why are you touching him?" He said in an authoritative black pastor's voice, holy shit this fucker was intimidating
>autismo looks over to him, looks him dead in the eye
>"I wasn't touching him"
>I
>WASNT
>TOUCHING
>HIM

I swear to god I was about to punch this fucker. I honestly feel for those chicks at bars that get felt up by random dudes-- I was perved on by a gay black autistic Demi Lovato clone.

I have two more stories, shorter, but the last one is a bit more climactic. Shall I continue?

>>717042672
OP here, I got a story about my jewish english teacher

>Closer to christmas break
>fuckyes.jpg
>Jewish teacher still giving us lessons
>lessons on surveillance and whatnot
>start talking about the elf on the shelf
>teacher tells us to make arguements on whether or not the doll will make children used to living in a dystopian state
>she then mentions a jewish version of the doll, the mench on a bench
>I silently say "how bout 'hitler on the bench' he kept you guys scared outta your minds!", to K who's next to me
>we start to chuckle
>manlet in our table says it out loud and gets completely meme'd by teacher
>laughing so hard
>manlet ties to kick my ass in gym, i trip him
>win

there's some more for ya /b/, stay tuned

>>717044051
Stop asking and just finish you autistic faggot

File: IMG_6450.jpg (98KB, 442x528px) Image search: [Google]

98KB, 442x528px

8th-10th grade

>knew a tard named Ben, it was short for some foreign unpronounceable name
>had tard strength beyond normal tard strength
>he was tard hulk
>also had anger issues
>kids being kids would make fun of him
>Ben would beat the living shit out of them
>they would try to run
>but there is no escape
>it would take 3 security guys and the Vice Principal who was a retired navy seal to pin the Ben
>eventually kids got smart
>there was occasionally the new wigger who though they were though shit and get the shit kicked out of them
>Ben dindu nuffin every time
>students caught on and it became a game or dare amongst the jocks and niggers to see who piss off ben and get away
>when not angry Ben would skip around singing the muppets treasure island theme song and repeating his name
>eventually he was sent home , deemed too big of a threat to over students

>>717044051
Tell them both. The ending to that greentext was disappointing

>>717042948
It's a benis

>>717044613
more stories of ben kicking ass and taking names pls

>>717041556
kekkkk

>>717044051
honestly this is the best story ITT

>>717037931
>10th
>have this really hot science teacher one of the periods
>walking around in the halls before class
>have a random raging hard on because I'm a horny teen
>pressed against my leg thanks to tight jeans, but outline and bulge is clearly visible
>looking around to see if anybody notices
>still looking around when I walk into class
>Hot teacher is bending down in front of the door, picking up papers she dropped
>bump into her, boner presses into the middle of her ass...hard.
>almost trip so fall forward a little, presses boner harder against her ass, rubbing it slightly.
>we both apologize, she seems flustered and embarrased
>walk to desk and sit
>notice large precum dark spot on thigh
>bestdayoftheyear.gif

>>717044937
It's hard to remember too many specifics, many years ago, I can think of one specificity. I was in special ed so I have loads of tard stories .

>math class
>Ben sits drawing and singing treasure island like usual
>it's disturbing class
>teacher is getting ready to speak up about it
>beta as fuck emo kid named Horace (no really) is already fed up
>tells ben to shut the hell up
>Ben rages and flys over the desks and knocks Horace out cold with a single punch
>teacher and other students don't do anything because they can't
You'd expect people to freak out but by this point everyone was used to it and there was an anti-Ben procedure
>teacher calls up vice principal and security
>Ben goes back to drawing an humming while class resumes untill they come

>>717045812
Did she notice?

>>717045953
I'm guessing she did if she got all embarrassed and flustered, but she didn't say anything to me about it lol.

>>717037931
In middle school, about twice a month I used to pretend to trip or get pushed or something and purposely fall down as many as 8 or 9 steps (had a 3 story 7-12 grade school) just so I could knock people over and make a giant clusterfuck on the steps. I would sometimes do this 4 or 5 times in one trip up the steps, almost always flailing around like an autist and knocking someone over. Once I accidentally kicked this dude square in the chin lmao I played it off as "sorry dude, I slipped on a pencil"

>>717044459
Sorry, was cooking spaghetti. Wanted to see who was still here.

Here we go, I'll just get the more boring back story of this fucker out of the way:

>we go to the nearby middle school to sing for some shit
>girls bring their piece up, guys go to the side and dick around
>the fucker puts his hand on my shoulder again, in front if all of the fucking middle schoolers
>I turn to mike and ron and im like "I'm resisting my urge to fuck this guy's shit" (even though I'm too much of a pacifist/pussy to actually do anything)


And now for the better story.

>cousin and I ride Ron's bus
>guess who else does!!?!!?
>the autismo is actually friends with a fat white chick
>literally tilts the bus when she gets on
>they're talking about dumb shit
>she suddenly asks someone for a pencil
>someone throws it at her and hits her in the face
>she falls back
>the bus practically hits a speedbump when she fell out of the seat and hit the floor
>autismo comes to her rescue
>"H-hey apologize to her!"
>still has fake gay african voice
>the dude who threw the pencil and him start yelling at each other
>autismo goes into a yard rage
>he looks like he's on fire, tearing at his chest and yelling at the air
>meanwhile bus driver is yelling at them to stop and pulling over
>autismo punches the dude
>the chick tells autismo to stop
>get this
>Demi Autismo punches the fat chick, too
>she's still on the fucking ground
>bus driver defuses situation
>he doesn't write autismo up because he has 'issues'

And that was the anticlimactic story of my experience with a black gay obnoxious delusional Bella Thorne who was attracted to me

>>717044051
WOW

ITS FUCKING NOTHING

please do finish though meh OC is better than none

Also maybe try not to be such an insecure manlet about physical content

File: doublesguy.jpg (12KB, 248x249px) Image search: [Google]

12KB, 248x249px

>>717044177
This story was from march, when state exams were being taken. for some reason, my class and another class have to take test in the auditorium just because we're taking high school math.Test was practice test btw But as usual, hilarity ensues. also, check em.

>Taking test next to K and other friend T.
>cheating off each other like bros
>honor code so no ratting each other out
>finish test an hour in
>checking answers over when all of a sudden
>FULL
>METAL
>TARD
>bolts into auditorium, without wrangler to tke him in
>potato is black, and one of the most annoying ones I've ever had to deal with
>walks around, looking at people's tests
>girl asks him to leave her alone
>he obviously doesn't understand
>gets mad
>takes girl's pencil and snaps it in half
>screams in her face
>friends and i are laughing
>potato runs to us ,
>walks slowly with a face that i think was supposed to thraten me, but just made me laugh even more
>tries to pull the same shit on me that he did to the girl
>before he even touces my pencil, i swipe it away
>"you gotta be smarter than that"
>tard is enraged, puts up fist
>when he tries to swing i block him and throw his punch away
>he's about to unleash his deadliest attack
>masteranireadyforthis.gif
>before he moves
>wrangler grabs him
>drags him away, while he's still sreaming

I have a story of how I hit a girl in a wheelchair with her own shoe two days after I fucked up bullies who were picking on her if anyone is interested.

>>717046337
yes

>>717046180
I wouldn't have given a shit if it was a friend but this fucking dude

You gotta understand that this dude is the equivalent of your creepy uncle steve that snoops in on everything you're doing and says "mmm, you like video games? I got a little game we can play..."

imagine that fucker touching your shoulder

its like that

>>717046337
me

>>717046337
please do

I beat the shit out of a midget
>10th grade
>love of animals that eventually became my undoing as a furfag
>was in wrestling at the time as well
>there was a midget student was a complete shitbag
>one day walking outside he was kicking around a young bird that fell out of a nest
>I see this and rage like a tard
>grapple and pick the fucker up and dump him head first into a garbage bin
>took the bird to the biology teacher
>got suspended
Was worth it

>>717039492
I didn't know you had IceJJFish in your class!
>I feel bad for what you had to put up with, anon...

>>717046567
Yeah I know what you mean, something about tards and spergs just seemed unclean back in the day. They smelled weird and looked gross. Aversion to them is understandable.

>>717046606
HAHA HOLY SHIT HE WAS EXACTLY LIKE HIM

god damn I totally forgot about that fucker

>>717039963
>>717040153
>>717040432
>>717041697
>newfags

>>717039492
That guy sounds familiar
Did he obsess over nightmare before Christmas?

File: 305-SnapLeak.jpg (130KB, 240x426px) Image search: [Google]

130KB, 240x426px

Just found this amazing tool....see what celebrity you can leak lmfao snap-leak-cf

>>717046911
lol, sorry, different autistic eggnig

Forst greentext story and on mobile
Here it goes
>be me
>6th grade
>talking about civil war or some shit
>cunt teacher brings in a musket and an mp-40
>teacher explaining how the guns are used
>im familiar
> minute balls
>6th grade
>friend and i laugh at how its reloaded
>teacher yells at us and not allowed to touch guns

>>717042607
you should have spent more time in english class and less time being a cunt and throwing rocks

File: eme.jpg (24KB, 500x358px) Image search: [Google]

24KB, 500x358px

>>717046337
>>717046533
>>717046571
>>717046585
alright so this was about grade 10? in canada
>first week of high school
>come from athletic family, grew up playing sports but more into music
>in an IB school, so lots of different kids from all walks of life
>heading off to phys ed
>have to transfer from a portable classroom to the main building
>see three troublemaker kids picking on girl who's basically a potato in an electric wheelchair
>girl is 2 grades above me, can't speak unless it's through a program on her computer
>beat the living christ out of 1 kid, other two run away when i start swinging their bro like a baseball bat
>(I was 6' 7" 188 pounds when i was 16)
>don't get in trouble cuz other kids vouch for me, saying shit like "he warned them" etc
i'll cont if u guys want

>>717047397
bump for this

>>717047397
yesss

>>717047397
plz do

>>717041475
You write like your high my friend.

>>717046772
No fucking way!! Oh, praise Kek!

File: okok.jpg (27KB, 475x362px) Image search: [Google]

27KB, 475x362px

>>717047397
>also should state I had some behavioural difficulties as a youth, so my file in school stated I was a noted trouble maker.
>anyways, tard girl (17 years old) who has never been able to say a word until now, miraculously figures out my name
>chases me around the fuckin halls for 2 weeks straight hoarsely saying my name
>2 weeks of her bombing around the school, following me to football practise, band practise, she would even try and get into the same fucking washroom as me
>one day lose it when she nearly runs my mother over
>"tardgirl, if you don't stop fucking saying my name, I will take your shoe off and beat you with it"
>she gets real misty eyed

cont in next post

9d8kxfr4

>middleschool, math class
>teacher is usually chill but students have been doing bullshit during class so he is kinda on edge
>few girls keep on chatting during class and he loses it
>turns around at the speed of light and launches the piece of chalk he was writing with across the class in the vague direction of them
>utterly misses and hits a different girl in the eye

>>717046189
This was during winter. this will be my last post of the night, i got some shit to do in the morning. I hope thread doesn't 404 so i can read your stories

>January, it was pretty snowy, snowstorm came in hard
>before school me and K are just chilling, drinking arizona and whatnot
>im just sipping on that green tea when suddenly
>some cunts from the 6th grade start to throw snowballs at us and ride away on a bike
>get mad at them, can't run after them, they're on a bike
>K tells me we can get our sweet revenge
>realize we're standing in front of 6th grade classrooms
>masterplan.gif
>make snowballs
>throw them in windows
the plan was to make them melt anywhere in the classroom, to fuck up textbooks or make anyone slip and fall
>walk away to escape scene of crime
>go into class 10 minutes later
>chill since almost no teachers came due to snow
>hear how some kids slipped when walking into their classroom
>keks were had
>flawlessvictory.jpg

good night /b/. hope you enjoyed these stories and i will guarantee you'll have more stories of mine to read in the morning.

File: 14068069_10209309335147195_5416092402485326102_n.jpg (6KB, 315x411px) Image search: [Google]

6KB, 315x411px

>>717048005
nice

File: 3334277.jpg (73KB, 400x400px) Image search: [Google]

73KB, 400x400px

>>717047801
>zip zap zooms away and i don't hear from her for three days
>friday, last day of class before winter break, going on class snowboarding trip
>tardgirl absolutely obliterates me
>as i said, 6' 7" 188 pound 15 year old
>like legitimate Looney Tunes vertical body flip
>smack head first onto cement in front of school
>tardgirl backs up and smiles with her witch of the west toothy ass grin
>"anon"
>that's it
>fucking lose it
>chase her ass down in her hells angels custom tardmobile
>rip off white loafer
>beat her like she's covered in flies
>like absolutely annihilate this disaster on four wheels
>only teacher around to witness it is football coach
>get stern warning and removed from snowboard trip
>mfw i assaulted a tard and got no punishment whatsoever

File: 6xHzeoiL.png (114KB, 243x243px) Image search: [Google]

114KB, 243x243px

>>717048161
>>chase her ass down in her hells angels custom tardmobile

File: 73.jpg (23KB, 480x478px) Image search: [Google]

23KB, 480x478px

>>717048161

Alright, here's one.
>be me
>have already graduated from highschool
>neet but whatever
>have friends going to school still
>they tell me you can get in huge trouble for drawing Pepe
>idea.gig
>print out most of my Pepe collection
>nothing too extreme like Pepe with penis or fucking something
>wait until night
>put on black hoodie and tighten the hood
>assassinscreedasfuck.jpeg
>grab tape and put it in pocket
>go around the school taping Pepes all over the school
>school has no security camaras or guard cause it's safe and relatively in the country
>go back home and be a good boy
>wait until next day
>"Anon, someone totally put Pepe's all over the place and they're fuckin furious about it!"
>laugh
>I literally frogposted all over the school.
>smirk when I pass by said school

>>717048161
i also have stories of how I caused a substitute teacher to have a mental breakdown and threaten to kill herself
story of how I broke a kids nose the first day of kindergarten
couple other stupid ones

>>717048430
POST EM NIGGA

>>717048531
which one first?
Kindergarten was a disaster, 23 suspensions.
Other stories are from middle school onwards

File: 44.jpg (12KB, 300x300px) Image search: [Google]

12KB, 300x300px

No one will believe me but whatever.

>11th grade drama class
>We have it in the new theater just built, has its own restrooms.
>I have this magnum 44 marker, it's big as shit.
>Was sitting with some chicks and my friends
>I whip out the magnum .44 for some reason.
>Friend says "damn dude, that marker is bigger than my dick!"
>They all laugh, and I say "Dude my dick is way bigger than this marker."
>Hot as fuck chick says yeah prove it.
>Being half alpha and half retarded, I whip out my 7.5"x6" cock.
>Without a word being said chick starts sucking it.
>Hide in between the seats and take girls panties off (she was wearing a skirt, cheerleader)
>Begin to fuck the life out of her with my hand over her mouth
>Shes wetter than the ocean
>Friend and other girls are watching in awe.
>Finish up right before teacher comes up
>Bro teacher says whats goin on guys? Why the crowd ?
>I say oh I dunno
>He notices her pussy juice all over the floor, its running down the floor to the stage, its fucking everywhere.
>I say "Oh we had a water fight"
>He then says why aren't your clothes wet?"
>I say "I have shitty aim"
>He just laughs and walks away

And thats how I got away with fucking a chick in the middle of class.

>8th grade
>tech class
>perv teacher
>would always stare at girls asses in hallway
>whole class working on some woodworking project or some shit
>he brings out like 12 tubes of caulk and expains what it is
>8th grade keks ensue
>ends up dropping half of them mid speech
>I was a witty cunt even back in those days
"mr H i dont think you can handle that much caulk"
>optimum keks from class
>mr H face gets red as a tomato
>puts me in this paint booth for "time out" (wtf)
>end up painting a pic of him on wall holding a bunch of cocks
>suspended and had to clean wall when I got back
>worth it

>>717048684
doubt.jpg

File: ac4.png (149KB, 411x385px) Image search: [Google]

149KB, 411x385px

>>717048684
sure

>Be me
>Be high school student
>Live in danbury ct
>Have 9/10 physics teacher
>Fantasize daily
>Write cringworthy fanfiction
>One day I leave my special journal in class
>Next day teacher hands me the journal
>Drop the class

>>717050034
>cringeworthy fanfiction about hot physics teacher
How cringeworthy exactly?

>>717050085
Are you sure you want to know?

>>717048684
Was this last week's creative writing assignment?

>>717050295
It can't be that bad so spill it already

> be me in 12th grade
> math class with gym coach for teacher
> a guy walks in front of class to teachers desk
> asks to use the bathroom
> teacher says no
> before the kid can even turn around I yelled
> coach he's a grown ass man let him use the bathroom
> class is dead silent for like 3 seconds
> then erupts into laughter
> best part is how he wrote me up for it
> instead of using a discipline sheet or whatever
> This mongoloid writes on fucking loose leaf paper
> anon called another student an "assman"
> he gives me the paper and tells me to go to the office with it
> YeahSureThing.jpg
> decided since it was my last class anyway that I should just go home. I still have that paper somewhere too. Shit was pretty funny. I have a few more stories if anyone is bored enough to read them

>>717050034
Do you still have the journal???

>>717050460
Post them

>>717050460
Id like to hear them; also, if you could find that paper it would be fun to read it

File: 15079065_1586480084992615_5861808731004364100_n.jpg (16KB, 601x284px) Image search: [Google]

16KB, 601x284px

>be me, 16
>talking with friend in class
>he asks about my pet bird (small talk)
>says it's doing fine
>autismo girl who is sitting a seat away scoots
>"you like birds too?"
>200% mouthbreathing.
>try to ignore her as best as i can
>keeps trying to talk to me, increasingly getting loud
>somehow teacher doesn't notice
>class ends
>autismo girl stops me before i get to my next class
>"hey anon, wanna talk about birds"
>"no."
>get to next class
>nothinghappens.mp27
>gets outta class
>autismo girl is right at the door
>fug
Continue?

>>717050791
Yes

>>717050791
yes please

File: 1482658288188.jpg (31KB, 480x330px) Image search: [Google]

31KB, 480x330px

>>717050791
does a nigger have a bike?
>yes

>>717044177
you're just a racist

>>717038729
the JPEG hurts my eyes

File: pt1.png (146KB, 1366x768px) Image search: [Google]

146KB, 1366x768px

>>717050619
here

>>717037931
>mfw i'm a britfag and couldn't comprehend that you would have a swimming pool outside

>>717047134
Is this even English?

File: 14086398_1844784232409375_3681681307438095290_o.jpg (100KB, 1057x800px) Image search: [Google]

100KB, 1057x800px

>>717050791
>she immediately grabs my arm
>"hey anon, how's your day been?"
>"good.."
>try to be not make the austimo go full austimo
>let her sit by me at lunch for a day
>next day
>before school, she does the same shit
>annoying AF
>about a week later
>"hey, can you not hold onto my arm all the time?"
>she starts crying
>bail.mp46
>2nd period, tired AF
>"anon, please report to the office"
>fucking hell.
>autismo is there
>"anon, what did you do to her?"
>"nothing."
>get detention for the day.
>she greets me after school
>"sorry about that, honey"
>"nigga, why are you calling me that?"
>IWannaGetOffThisWildRide.mp256
Should i finish?

>>717052038
yea nigga

>>717050688
>>717050740
ill look for it, but it might be at my dads house though
anyways next story. and this one is 100% true btw. i really do feel bad about this one
> be in 8th grade
> in pretty cool english class
> teacher has a habit of leaving the class for long periods
> bad move on her part
> so theres a group of like 5 of us who are close and all like fucking with people
> one of us also happen to be a girl
> so the teacher leaves the class to get coffee from another classroom " shes always brewing it in her room but this time she was out
> so anyways the girl " we shall call her megan" goes to the bathroom
> she comes back and is acting sketchy
> we ask her whats up
> she says shes on the rag and just doesnt feel well
> boom the rest of us must have been mentally linked because we all knew we had to get her to give us her used tampon
> we actually convinced her to to is so she leaves and comes back with a blood clot soaked tampon wrapped in toilet paper
> while the rest of the group was just laughing that she did it
> i pitch my plan to them
> guys.. we should put that thing in the teachers coffee machine
> and like the assholes we all where they instantly agree
> so one of us gets up and hangs out by the door looking for the teacher
> while me and another friend go to the back of the class to the coffee machine
> we open the part where you put the filter and it has a new filter paper in it already
> so i take the filter out and my friend drops the bloody tampon in
> i put the filter back in
> we close the machine back up and sit down laughing like retards
now unfortunately i did not get to witness her brew the special blend coffee and this happened on a friday so we couldnt be sure what exactly happened
but the following monday random girls were getting called to the office and were getting asked about how a tampon would have ended up in a coffee machine
obviously we were never caught, thank god.

>>717052117
Fucking kek. That's fucking horrible on so many levels, but I can't stop laughing. Saved to laugh at later.

>Be me 8th grade
>Horny as fuck
>There's this SUPER hot 3rd grade teacher
>Coming up from bathroom, not looking down hallway
>3rd grade teacher is approaching me
>Still not looking, trip.
>I put my hands out because of natural instinct
>My hands enclose around the teacher's big ass breasts
>ohfuckwhatnow.gif
>mfw i held on for a solid 3+ seconds

>>717052117
hahah what legends

File: 2016-01-28-creepy-susie.jpg (387KB, 842x1191px) Image search: [Google]

387KB, 842x1191px

>>717052038
>"I thought we were dating.."
>"we never were"
>she is half autismo rage, half crying
>bailagain.mp1776
>avoided her as best as i can
>except for that one class i have with her
>changed classes a few days after
>never talked to her again
>about 2 months later
>she kills herself
>f u g
>one of her friends blame me
>"naw nigga."
>go on with my life
that's all.

>>717053312
Holy shit. How did she kill herself?

>>717053312
>"naw nigga."
lmao

File: 14445977_1658498167798022_6174271026044917158_n.jpg (24KB, 552x438px) Image search: [Google]

24KB, 552x438px

>>717053403
not exactly sure. some people said she hung herself, some said she bled out from cuts. didn't get confirmation.

File: 309-SnapLeak.jpg (114KB, 240x426px) Image search: [Google]

114KB, 240x426px

Have a sick thursday night on me go leak your ex gf or sister now at snap-leak-cf

Just remembered a random thing from high-
school

> 10th grade
> new girl in class 7/10 not bad
> we walk home along same route decide to talk to her
> tells me all about how involved she and her family are with the mormon church
> does mission work in africa and everything, that's why they move a lot
> okay.jpeg
> i knew even then how retarded that shit is but she was nice enough so i pretend to be interested for the walk and then kind of forget it
> that week in school
> "fun" history teacher gets to part in american history about mormonism
> says "i'm not one to put down someone's religion, but mormon's think jesus came to AMERICA, so yeah, they're pretty stupid
> whole class laughs
> i look over at new girl
> she sees me looking
> fighting back tears
> doesn't say anything

Felt bad for her.

>>717039492
Never forgive. Never forget

>>717046980
oi fuck off ya cunt

>>717054405
fucking bots, seeing so many today makes me wanna gouge my eyes out with a rusty spoon

>>717053672
yes, because god realized killing everyone in the great flood to eliminate sin didn't work, impregnating a married woman with himself so that he could then kill himself to eliminate all sin seems like a logical answer. why the fuck couldn't jesus take a stroll over to the states, but only let people know by having some fucknugget look through special glasses into a hat to translate some golden tablets. and this is just christian nonsense. jews, christians and muslims will all fight each other over jerusalem without realizing they pray to the same asshole god who trolled them into cutting their dicks up

people who take religion literally should be killed

>>717041976
That literal exact story happened at every elementary school.

>>717045923
Hahaha hahaha Fuck it's great !!!!!

>>717048381
You are doing Kek's work, anon.

File: images.jpg (3KB, 168x120px) Image search: [Google]

3KB, 168x120px

>be me
>6th grade
>math class
>sat in table group w/ 4/5 other kids
>three table groups were known as the "loud ones"
>teacher chill af, let us talk while we do work
>one day we all happen to go silent
>room goes dead silent
>crickets.mp3
>conversation awkwardly resumes
>mfw
>next day
>coordinatedattack.jpg
>organize w/ other kids
>at 11:11 go dead silent
>deathglare at work
>rest of class wtfs
>teacher looks up from computer
>tension in room thick enough to cut w/ spiderman
>minute of dead silence
>11:12
>our heads pop back up
>resume conversation like nothing happened

>>717048381
*tips fedora
but seriously thats funny

>>717038666
Ok satan

>>717044613
Cap-it

>>717048161
>Hell's Angel's custom tard mobile
I fucking lost my shit. Also, you are a true Canadian, no bullshit there.

>>717048005
This is really fun if you picture this as a scene.

File: 1476421996745.png (64KB, 200x200px) Image search: [Google]

64KB, 200x200px

>>717048005

>Be me
>Year 9
>school decides putting all year 9s in an "open space learning center" is a good idea
>about 3 weeks in one of my mates named jay decides to start clapping
>nothing weird just regular clapping
>after a few seconds of everyone looking at him another kid starts clapping, than another and another
>entire class is clapping for about 10 or so second before dyeing down
>class resumes as if nothing has happened

>next day comes around and most the kids from the previous day are in different classes but still in the "open space learning center"
>once again Jay starts clapping, rest of the class soon follows
>easily hearing this I also start clapping, most of my class soon follow suit

>after about week of this it became a well know thing that during class if someone starts clapping you too should clap
>Teachers didn't really do much to stop this, nothing they really could do except give false threats of punishments
>the clapping went on for the rest of the year but didn't follow through into the next
>i still always instinctively clap whenever i hear someone else clapping

>>717051417
>calling out racism
you're so fucking new it hurts

> be in 6th grade
> there is a good for nothing nignog in my class
> nig always asks to go to bathroom but all he really does is wander
> one day nig goes to do his usual nig shit
> teacher gets fed up and tells him to sit the fuck down
> "WTF MAYN I GOTS TO TAKE A SHIT, Y YOU TRIPPIN"
> "you never go to the bathroom, you just wander around and I will not tolerate it"
> nig goes and sits there quietly
> nigger senses kick in... Y the fuck is he being quiet and not arguing
> few minutes go by
> nigger gets up to sharpen pencil and then shakes pant leg
> huge turd falls out and everyone notices
> kek
> teacher says nothing and picks it up with tissues and puts it in trash can
> I still can't decide wether nignog really had to shit or if he shit himself just to spite the teacher

>>717054561
>the edge

>>717050405
pI sedond this

>>717053312
shouldve just fugged the autismo

>>717052117
Im surprised no one else in your class snitched. There were other people in there right?

>>717058451
yeah but they were busy talking and cutting up, they werent paying attention to us

>>717057451
Wait until you go to a club. They got claps in the music.

>be me grade 9
>everyone smokes weed in one spot
>some cunt decides it's a good idea to hide bong in shit spot
>all agree
>next day principal is at door wanting me and friends
>asks about bong and shit we deny
>week goes by some cunts start spilling their guts about bong and who was there
>about 15 of my friends get expelled due to being named directly by snitch
>5 or so of us don't
>all the ones who don't stop talking to each other cause don't know who snitch is
>2 weeks later move smoke spot and continue to smoke daily til I leave

>>717060430
you guys smoke weed at school? i dont get it, elaborate please

>>717060581
Well we would get to school early and go to the running track and all chip in a bud. Then we would smoke the buds and get high. Once that was done we would sit around and talk shit til it was time to go to class. Once 1st break hit we would do it again

>>717060904
It did end up in getting bag searches and shit like that nearly daily though but by the time we were seniors th teachers really didn't care because they knew they couldn't catch us

>>717060904
lol fuck that. i used to get high before school, but my friends and i would just all ride together and smoke in the car. one time though i snorted a suboxone pill off a desk in school, but other than that i always did shit before i got to school

>>717061713
Yeah we were retards. Used to get drunk and drop pills and shit. All on school grounds. Don't know why teachers stopped caring but they did. Buy grade 12 we basically high or drunk all day everyday and they would just leave us alone.

Funny thing is most of us passed all our classes and even got really good grades

File: S61107-13514016.jpg (250KB, 1080x1256px) Image search: [Google]

250KB, 1080x1256px

>Grade 7
>Live in non-english country
>Before english lesson
>Talking to my friend
>Teacher in the class
>She is like 40-50 years old
>Friend says in english "HOW MANY JEWS CAN STOP THE TRAIN TO AUSWITZ JA?"
>We both laugh at it
>Wait
>Teacher is looking at us
>Friend still laughs
>"Dude, she is looking at us"
>Teacher is being like "wat"
>Friend laughs more loudly
>Getting outta the class
>shame.jpg

Anyone have that greentext of the kid in a class that merged with a special ed class and his special ed buddy was faking being an autismo

>>717062907
I hope someone pulls it up, because that is a solid one (even if it is probably embellished).

>grade 9
>had an absolute twat of an English teacher
>my whole class often wondered how she still had a job
>my class had assigned seats
>she would move students around if she thought they weren't paying attention
>a lot of the time when she would move students, she would forget about it the next day
>pretty sure she had dementia
>anyway, a friend and I make an attack plan on this fowl creature
>the plan was to put hand sanitizer in her drink she usually had sitting on her desk
>we put it in motion the next day
>I distracted her with autistic questions while he applied hand sanitizer in her drink
>as the teacher is answering my questions I look over at friend
>he squirted like half the bottle of hand sanitizer in her drink
>holyfuck.jpg
>attack was successful
>sit back in our seats and watch her drink mix of sweet tea and germ-x
>she takes a sip
>looks at the cup with a "what the fuck face"
>"yea bitch, got you" I thought
>but then
>she shrugs it off and continues to drink this disgusting concoction
>I can only imagine what that tasted like
>but she CONTINUED to drink it like it was fucking cool aid
>I look over at my friend and he's just sitting there with a blank look on his face
>"this bitch isn't human"

Cont?

>>717064170
Please, i wanna see if she died

File: images-1.jpg (6KB, 225x225px) Image search: [Google]

6KB, 225x225px

> be me 19
> in college getting bored as fuck
> discover this drink with a bright colour
> have this idea to fill the drink with alcohol
> it goes pretty good
> 2 days later I fill the entire bottle with blue vodka
> empty it in a single class
> mfw I'm completely drunk

>>717064170
Cont

>my friend and I sat there watching in shock
>at this point we got a bit anxious
>wondering if she even had taste buds
>also wondering if she would die
>time passed as we sat and watched her
>towards the end of class we noticed something
>she was staring at the clock above the marker board
>she started singing a song
>the lyrics consisted of numbers
>wat
>she was singing down the seconds left of the class
>I look at my friend with a grin, mission accomplished.
>soon after, class ended
>for the rest of the day, we were a bit nervous
>we thought we killed our English teacher
>sadly, the hag survived
>last time I checked, she's STILL teaching to this day
>also, I still don't know how she didn't notice something fucky going on with her drink that day
>fuck you Mrs. Adams

>>717064914
I have another, if any lurkers are interested

>>717064914
Thank you

>>717064914
Damn, what a demon

>>717065043
Yeah, that'd be nice

File: anger.jpg (31KB, 480x480px) Image search: [Google]

31KB, 480x480px

here's something
>Be 18
>senior in high school
>have many stupid friends
>none more stupid than my friend Chris
>Im walking down the halls one day during lunch
>see Chris in the middle of a crowd of people
>uhoh.jpg
>someone stole his shoe again
>he gets autistic when people take his shit
>he picks up his backpack and hurls it towards the offending party
>misses completely
>nails a passing teacher
>i duck into the bathroom choking back tears
>i come out and security is there yelling at him

Okay here's another, it's pretty short

>friend from last story and I are in history class
>last class of the day, ready to go home
>teacher is talking about history shit
>never payed attention in that class
>usually made fun of the 330 pound land whale that sat adjacent to me
>teachers desk is located behind the class seats
>teacher hates my friend
>said friend is black, and I live in the south so kek
>teacher asks class a question
>my friend raises his hand and accidentally throws the pencil
>pencil goes traight back towards the teacher and lands 2 feet in front of him
>teacher gets up, screams at my friend
>tells him to go to the office
>friend doesn't show up at school for an entire week after that
>mfw he got suspended for assaulting a teacher
>mfw I realized it was never about the pencil
>it was because he's a nigger

File: Know Your Parasites.jpg (47KB, 480x960px) Image search: [Google]

47KB, 480x960px

>>717037931
> We had a strike
> And biology lessons become 100% more revolutionary
> Good Ass Praxis

>>717037931
so
>>717067032
>>717065801
>>717066945
>>717062641
>>717066837
>>717065071
>>717059850
>>717066658
>>717066750
>>717066584
>>18472396
>>717066399
>>717066177
>>717066299
>>717066177
>>717066049
>>717065924
>>717065857
>>717065791
>>717065736
>>717065697
>>717065624
>>717065550
>>717064204
>>717065468
>>717064462
>>717062346
>>717061988
>>717064636
>>717064926
>>717065013
>>717035617
>>717055435
>>717056413
>>717056413
>>717047428
>>717055422
>>717060761
>>717064656
>>717065110

>>717038078

I have more Chris stories

>be 17
>year prior to first story
>go on fishing trip with friends
>someone decided to bring Chris along
>might be fun
>get out onto the beach
>set up camp
>plant surf rods
>now we need to get the bait out in the water
>get the kayak
>we get our friend and the kayak halfway out into the water when Chris comes over and attempts to flip the damn thing
>friend almost drowns
>he never went on any fishing trips again

>>717044051
Why were you wearing a dress?

File: e003-1.jpg (267KB, 715x693px) Image search: [Google]

267KB, 715x693px

>>717068427
Another good one
>"Geez anon, I hate when guys like slow down and just stare at me when they drive by. That's so gross."
>chuckle slightly
>we both walk in silence for another 5 minutes before splitting ways

She was cute, but I still am not sure what I should have said.

>>717068498
Who was wearing a dress?

>>717041957
how fucking young are you? this PC LGBT shit just started

>be 17
>in high school for one more year, to get college credits.
>take easy classes; cooking and art
>be 3rd period home ec. class.
>made a 3 layer cake on my first try
>perfectly covered cake in a white icing with light blue lacings
>designed red flowers on cake
>proud
>intercom statics to life
>its the security guard
>"shooter on the premises"
>ohno.webm
>leave masterpiece on table as I hid in the large closet with the other students
>more concern for my cake then my life
>hears class room
>no
>hears loud chewing
>sweat rolls down my face
>ohgodohgodohgod
>hears doors close again and shouting
>security says that the shooter had been caught.
>leaves closest
>my cake is destroyed
>dies a little inside

>>717046122
I've got one roughly of the same caliber.

>Autistic kid in my year level always went around patting people on the back
>Not kidding, this shit would sometimes go on for 5-10mins of solid rubbing and patting PER PERSON.
>Also used to sometimes stand at the window in the cafeteria and watch the cafeteria ladies cook/whatever
>Eventually I told him to stop patting my back
>He did

File: 1483056201507.jpg (9KB, 200x200px) Image search: [Google]

9KB, 200x200px

>>717048005
Noice

>>717068711
My bad, he said "dress shirt"

>>717038666
Kek

>>717059103
lol what
you sound like a fucking tard

File: jewsrunporn.jpg (490KB, 1088x897px) Image search: [Google]

490KB, 1088x897px

>>717037931

this is indeed interesting.

You can have almost any joke with almost any people -- but if you accidentally laugh at something Jew, you're fuckin' fucked forever.

Newspaper: "local boy at school makes fun on Holocaust - Mayor summons a public memorial about the Shoah blaming the youngster - Senators ask everyone to fight antisemitism starting from the youngster's family and classroom - AIPAC committee closes the anti-semitic school...

>be 17 again
>be in art class
> straight A student and the favorite to my teacher
>whole class get project to recreate a painting.
>hellya.oiloncanvas
>decide on recreating the Mona Lisa, while everyone else was making flowers and some shit
>sets up canvas, starts sketching the lines
>looks perfect
>other students stop what their doing to watch me
>master artist
>applied the paint
>spent hours after class to finish
>finally result, Mona Lisa looked like she was in her teens and the background was blurry, but there
>proud
>puts canvas in drying rack and head home
>the next day
>teacher stops me in front on the door distress
>teacher tells me someone had stolen my painting
>gets an A, because the teacher saw my final product
>dies a little more inside

File: kek'd .jpg (115KB, 727x639px) Image search: [Google]

115KB, 727x639px

>>717039492

hmm... this is really good:

- you're white and your name is Tyrone (topkek)
- a real autistic sperglord Tyrone nigger is in the same classroom (ultrakek)
- nigger Tyrone is totally absorbed by Disney Channel (topkekzozzling hard now)

Epic.

>>717051417
Thats why its good.

>>717044177
How about Hitler on a bench? You better have been in like 6th grade to come up with this excuse for a joke.

>>717043543
more?

>be 15
>be mixed race
>meets a kid named Bobby
>Bobby brags about being in the KKK
>nice
>tells me joke about niggers
>shit cracks me up
>face is red
>next day
>KKK was spray painted on school wall
>looks at Bobby
>he smiles and winks at me
>good job Bob
>next day most of the black students are flocking toward Bobby as his telling nigger jokes
>fear the plaint of the apes
>sees student laughing tears in their eyes
>Bobby is killing them
>next day
>Bobby shows me video of him and some of his red neck friends hanging some brown guy
>same skin color as me
>oh
>Tells Bobby I'm a mixed race
>Bobby tells me its ok
>your white enough

>>717048684
>No one will believe me
this was the first and last truthful thing typed in this post

>>717037931
Did you fuck her?

>>717070122
DOUBT.JPG
Also checked

>be me
>be middle school
>popular, no idea why
>people come up to me and ask to hang
>no
>hang with nerd, their fun
>one headbutts me for a joke and I rebuked with a nut check
>great times
>soda can pegs big nerd called AJ on the head
>soda explodes
>covers most of the group
>angry
>sees jocks laughing their ass off
>more soda cans flying our way
>me and three others catches them
>shakes and return to sender
>hot potato with the jocks
>throws can in a straight line, while the other three threw in a arc
>can explodes on the biggest jock
>he shouts and falls down
>fist pumps
>jocks stop throwing cans at us
>sees one throwing a can in the trash
>misses
>hits the edge
>explodes
>everyone in my group claps
>it was a good day

>>717070650
I would have doubts too, I don't blame ya

>>717064914
Hand sanitizer will get you drunk. Not effectively, but it is an alcohol. You fucking spiked her drink kek

>autistic kid with anger issues in class since 5th grade
>punched a girl in the first 3 days
>get told that he is "a special kind of kid"
>autist is also fat
>eats alot
>>he brings 5 donuts + chocolate milk + cola every day
>one day a female friend of mine decides to steal some donuts
>he comes into class after break to discover that his food was stolen
>kingkong.png
>starts to scream like a pissed of gorilla
>picks up chairs and throws them around
>ohshitwhathassheddoneit.jpg
cont?

>>717071177
DOUBLE DOUBS.
Do you have the Video maybe

>>717071222
THIS IS NOW A GETS THREAD

File: 1482899331860.jpg (24KB, 300x245px) Image search: [Google]

24KB, 300x245px

>>717071222
>>717071177

>>717071317

tbh I wish

>>717071240
>cont?
Sure boi

>>717038960
>/b/.greentext

>>717038960

Fuck off, 4chan. Ya whiny cunt.

>>717071615
>>717071624
>>>/r/eddit

>>717057859
>sees anon call people racists
>immediately identifies them as newfags

okay faggot

>Grade 8
>At Washington DC for field trip
>We stop at the Holocaust museum
>Being the moralfag that I am I am very respectful
>Im taking pictures of stuff with my phone when I get a text from my friend jack
>In middle school we used to send each other the dumbest shit we could think of
>He sent me a picture of 9/11 w/ the caption "Jews Did 9/11"
>Well our tour guide (who I later found out is Jewish) is standing right behind me when I turn around and we both just stare at each other for a good couple seconds
>Then we move on

Kinda anticlimactic

>>717048381

bro, your post deserved at least a quints.

and you deserve to be totally kicked in the ass because you didn't take pics of the Peped School

>16 yr old sophomore
>have art class
>one day go in early during my lunch to finish a painting im working on
>see 10/10 qt working on a badass painting of a guy getting his head bashed in with a hammer or something
>shes sitting in my spot, sit next to her but too shy to say anything
>her class ends and she puts her canvas away
>i go over to find out her name
>18 year old senior
>hit her up on facebook, she actually responds
>talk for a few days and end up talking about sex and exchange nudes since i have a good body
>a few days later its the last day of school
>tell her to come to my house with me early from school
>get home and say lets play diablo
>she bends over to turn on ps4, pull her pants down and push her on the bed
>she instantly gets soaking wet
>fuck her for 3 hours and cum in her ass
>my mom comes home as soon as i finish, quickly get dressed
>her shirts on backwards and hair fucked up, then my mom comes in
>"hi mom this is my friend abby"
>she obviously knew
and thats how i lost my virginity

>Be me
>6th grade
>Near end of year we go to camp site with other schools from the district
>Teacher lets us pick what people from our school we want in our cabin
>Doesn't mention that tards are going
>Hear my group get called, Have 4 friends, 3 people from other schools, and 1 tard.
>This tard is notorious at our school for always asking out girls and trying to be friends with everyone
>He also though I was a girl because I had long hair and tried to date me
>Everyone in cabin hates this tard.
>Get to cabin and set up. Tard brings this tiny ass suitcase and all of his clothes in this big ass plastic bag
>Why.bmp
>Do activities
>Tard keeps asking girls out and saying he was going to sneak into girls cabin
>Once activities were done my friends and I go back to our cabin while the other 3 kids talk with their friends
>Tard comes with
>The tard attempts to go to sleep but I slept on the top bunk I kept hitting him with my water bottle or head light
>Has no idea who is doing it
>Later other people and adults come back around 10 P.M.
>Everyone talks for a bit before going to sleep
>In the middle of the night tard tries to climb up the back of my friends bed and sleep with him
>Friend kicks him down twice and tard is unconscious on the floor for 20 minutes
>Friend tells us all about that in the morning
>Do normal activities and normal tard perving
>My friends and I get back to the cabin earlier then everyone else
>Tard follows
>Goddamnit.gif
>We all talk, But this time...
>Tard whips out his tard dick and starts trying to show my friends
>One friend pushes him outside while I'm up top hiding in my sleeping bag with my water bottle ready to beat him
>Tard burst back in and chases around friend that kicked him off his bunk with his tard testies out
>Friend screams and is pounding on the window
>Friends from cabin up above us hears
>Eventually we all start to punch the tard and make him promise that he'll put his dick away
>No more tard troubles for the rest of the trip

>be 17
>in 3rd period home ec.
>recently broke up with my first gf
>ex is in the same class as me
>feels bad for me
>acts as my wingman and hooks me up with her cousion
>a 7/10 with a nice ass
>thanks ex
>flirts for weeks on end
>in love
> a group project was giving to the class
>group up with ex, gf and her friend
>talks about the project
>feels something on my lap
>looks down
>gfs hand, trying to unbuckle my belt
>cherry red face
>ex asks if I had a fever
>nah
>gf is in pants now, playing with my junk
>gf is breathing heavy
>jacks me off in front of ex
>ex has no idea whats going on
>ex's friend looks under table and comes up bright red, but is quiet.
>cums
>never had a handjob before
>felt amazing
>gf pops cum covered fingers into her mouth and winks at me
>don't know what to say
>gf says your welcome
>continues on project

File: FuckingTyrone.png (1MB, 2840x2936px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 2840x2936px

>>717062907
gotcha

>>717057859
>>>/r/eddit

>be me, 6th grade
>my cafeteria had those sweetener containers for the teachers
>I decide to be funny and go steal 5 or so
>not caught
>friend tells me "hey that looks like crack you should snort those"
>badidea.jpeg
>I consider it anyways even though neither of us knew a thing about drugs
>sneak into bathroom when no one is there
>take a paper towel and pour all the sugar into a neat line
>and it was at this moment that I fucked up
>I snort it but stop one I get to half of the line
>THAT SHIT BURNT LIKE THE FLAMES OF FUCKING HELL
>my eyes turned cherry red and my nose was covered in sugar still
>exit bathroom


i walked around school like this for a straight 3 and a half hours before going home
that is why to this day I have never snorted anything again

>>717072462
>be 6th grade
>snort aderall in the bathroom every day
>10 years later now just do meth
feels bad man

File: kek-small.jpg (66KB, 500x440px) Image search: [Google]

66KB, 500x440px

>>717057994
>> huge turd falls out and everyone notices

As expected.

> teacher says nothing and picks it up with tissues and puts it in trash can

a nignog shit is indeed precious lavender perfume.

>>717072114
Doubt.jpg

File: kek-mini.jpg (8KB, 209x200px) Image search: [Google]

8KB, 209x200px

>>717064841

supreme.

>>717067085

supreme autism.

File: jewcommunists.jpg (83KB, 650x567px) Image search: [Google]

83KB, 650x567px

>>717071961
>>He sent me a picture of 9/11 w/ the caption "Jews Did 9/11"
>>Well our tour guide (who I later found out is Jewish)

Tour Guide said: "yes, but we will never admit it, you shitty goy toddler".

>>717037931
When I was in 8th grade there was this one kid who was notorious for being a massive troll. His crowning moment came when he used a door wedge on the outside of a closed door, trapping the class inside. The teacher had to call security to open the door. The kid was never caught.

>>717073143
Another story. In elementary school I was in art class every Wednesday. One week, the teacher was teaching about portraying our family origins. A Chinese kid in my class (probably a budding /v/ poster) asked if he could put Uzis in his drawing. Needless to say, the art teacher wasn't pleased.

>high school
>first period allotted reading time.
>quiet as two mice fucking
>new cell phone in pocket
>telemarketer calls
>this goes off, cause I was a faggot and it was my ringtone
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SKJE4Djf6lQ
>proceed to look like I'm having a seizure as I try to turn off a flip phone from in my pocket.
>can't be done
>finally take it out and open and close it
>teacher takes phone, with look of horror in her eyes
>next month is everyone asking me to suck their dick.

In kindergarten there was this one black kid (might have been Indian) who was probably the worst behaved kid in the school. While everyone was painting flowers or bugs, he was spreading black paint on the floor. When the teacher was teaching, he'd be doing cartwheels in the back of the room. All that pales in comparison to when he hid inside the storage closet and called 911 for shits and giggles. The entire fire and police response team showed up at this little school wondering what the fuck happened. It's a miracle he didn't get expelled.

>>717069522
What are tou now today? Can i see your paintings?

>>717068778
no, its been around for a few years. its just been growing in popularity as tumblrtards took it over

>>717043543
any moar?

>>717069522
High school art theft.
I just envisioned like a shitty heist film with bumbling idiots. Then they try to sell you're Mona Lisa painting to a rich connoisseur of high school art.

I remember this one very good from elementary school. It involves a clown

>>717037931
More

>>717069522
It just means the thief couldnt tell it from the real thing.

>>717074928
I haven't painted in years my dude

>>717075254
fuck now it sounds funny

>>717075957
It was when I read it.
But I can see the feels.
Fucking killed me when some nigga sat in the adirondack chair I spent weeks building in shop and since I hadn't put the lacquer on it yet, the rivets in his jeans made this huge scratch I couldn't get out. I'd have legit strangled the guy if I knew who did it.
Still sold the chair for $80 tho.

File: IMG_1084.jpg (64KB, 750x527px) Image search: [Google]

64KB, 750x527px

>>717048684

>>717047134
>civil war
>musket
>mp40

Three freshman came into frosting and fed it to the home ec. Teacher

File: IMG_1240.jpg (53KB, 640x501px) Image search: [Google]

53KB, 640x501px

Not a school story but
THIS LITERALLY JUST HAPPENED TO ME

>19
>Currently Staying at grandparents house because I'm helping grandfather clean pools for stepdads pool business
>Get back home from easy day of cleaning 20 pools or so
>It was just past Christmas so decorations still out
>Grandma likes to put them in front yard, lifelike Mary Joseph Jesus etc
>Grandpa pulls into driveway but decor is in the path of the driveway cause grandma is kinda dumb
>COMPLETELY RUNS OVER BABY JESUS
>>LIKE DEMOLISHES INTO SPLINTERS
>horyshet.png
>Grandma starts coming out and screaming
>Grandparents argue
>Cops are called and neighbors are all outside
>Cop asks me what happened, my side of the story etc
>I crack a joke because why not
>"Officer my grandfather killed Jesus"
>Cop stares at me dead straight
>G. U. L. P.
>He ends up slowly smirking
>Finally fucking loses it
>MFW

>Be me on 7th grade
>Century 2k09
>Playing the Orange Game
>mfw faggot classmate sees his name written
>mfw classmate tells teacher
>"Hey, Anon, do u kno who did it?"
>me thinking "just say no"
>brain.exe stopped working
>"I saw D doing it"
>D gets suspension for 3 days

>>717048005
classic

this one time, i went to school

>>717048005
I had a math teacher that would get annoyed and just refuse to speak, so he'd but instructions on the board and so his own thing in the back.
Usually it was just him drawing the people that fucked off then putting it on the projector.
Oddly enough this kinda worked.

>>717078656
amazing

>>717079726

OMG!!!
pls cont.

>>717080030
My grandpa is German

File: nazicat.jpg (56KB, 478x720px) Image search: [Google]

56KB, 478x720px

>>717080111

nice trips.
my cat is German as well.

File: 1480745733544.jpg (149KB, 600x1800px) Image search: [Google]

149KB, 600x1800px

>kid screams something behind me in the lunch line
>turn around quickly, startled
>arm is out so i accidentally backhand him
>mfw get rest of the day off and barred from some camping field trip i was told was shitty anyway

File: 1482589279858.png (59KB, 500x319px) Image search: [Google]

59KB, 500x319px

>Be me
>17
>First year of electrician school
>knows 1 guy in class
>nogirls.jpeg
>this one guy clearly has autism
>he is huge
>bowlingballwithlegs.mp3
>keeps stealing my chair
>tell him to stop
>doesnt
>2 months g by
>still stealing chairs
>nobodylikeshim.txt
>Im so done
>its last day before a week off school
>he steals my chair
>heartisgoingsupersonic.mp4
>im a big dude
>pick up bowlingball
>literallyhulk.png
>throw bowlingball down the stairs to cantina
>whole class and teacher is silent as i walk back in and sit down on my chair
>friend pats my shoulder and teacher nods at me

i didnt see him ever after that, heard he broke both arms and a leg and that he will have trouble walking for the rest of his life

mfw i dont regret doing it at all

>>717068895
Fucking kek. Best in the thread

>>717041475
>1nd

>>717082791

>be me
>8
>semitard guy in class keeps talking about shit he only knows
>autism kicks in
>as soon he's going to sit in his chair, I grab the chair like in those ameritard looney tunes cartoons
>he fell on the floor
>everyone is laughing at him, I'm scared because he's still on the floor and I may be expelled from school
>eventually he takes the chair and sits again, silent
>day after he starts talking and talking again
>his nickname sounded like "the automatic gun of useless words"