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My ideal boyfriend would be: At least 190 Fit and low body fat

The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

Thread replies: 92
Thread images: 18

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My ideal boyfriend would be:

At least 190
Fit and low body fat % with visible muscles
Is smart and loyal
Has a good job
Has full hair
Is well dressed
Actually knows how to make a woman cum and licks pussy

Why should i settle for anything less if i can offer the same things and got fake tits and hair almost down to my ass on top of that?
>>
No one with fake tits posts on /b/ you fucking tard
>>
>>716823868
I am all of that, except only 183cm. But almost 190lbs if that counts :^)

Who says that you should settle for anything less??
>>
>>716823868
>At least 190
You know, vampires are fictional
>>
>>716823868
A man like that has no interest in someone as vacuous as you.
I'm speaking from experience.
>>
>>716823868
what about if i have full hair, but they are getting grey fast (30yrs, more then 1/2 i suppose)
>>
>>716823868
Settle Bitch, a man like that has a lot of women to choose from and you won't be at the top of his list.
>>
>>716823964

This. First and last.

/thread
>>
tits or gtfo sage thread
>>
>>716823868
You know the rules. Tits or GTFO.
This isn't rocket science guys!
>>
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Do not even want to see your tits if your a chick.

Mr. Spiderman, tear down this thread
>>
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>>716824133

Guess whos got a boyfriend like that? He even pays for all of my drinks while you are sitting in your mothers basement
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>>716823868
>and got fake tits

>Goes in all fields
>>
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>>716824700
bet he fucks other chicks bc nobody can listen to your bullshit for months
>>
>>716824049
did your ex-boyfriend dumped you?
>>
>>716824700
You sound bitter.

>He even
>Guess who
>>
>>716823868
fit the description but am 155-160ish
>>
>>716824320
Just basic biology.
>>
>>716824019
fucking underrated post
>>
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>>716823868
>>
>>716823868
Because you can't and you won't get that.
Don't worry - you're not the first or the last to think otherwise. You'll realize it when you reach your 30s, and your tits and ass start to obey the laws of physics. You'll realize it when you're droopy, stupid, alone and working at a dead end job. You'll realize it when your ideal mate suddenly walks past you with a thai hooker under his wing.

You won't get the 190cm tall basket ball player.
You won't get the non-bald Prince Einstein whom licks your hairy snatch while mumbling about general relativity.
You won't get the fashion faggot.

You know what you're going to get? The left overs.
>>
>>716823868
The fake tits part makes me think this is bait. Your are worthless with fake tits you superficial whore.
>>
>>716825367
Triggered straight boy
>>
>>716825367
true
>>
>>716824700
kek keep dreamin sidebitch
>>
>>716823868
why would a nice girl post pics like these
>>
>>716823868
OP's pic is the reason why I stopped playing airsoft, fuckers chrono their guns to 500+ FPS and those little bullets will punch right through clothes into the skin.
>>
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>>716823868
Sounds like you're looking for me. Except I don't have a 'job'. I own a business.
>>
>>716823868
cuz your tits r fake
>>
>>716823868
define good job
>>
>>716823964
>no traps post on /b/
>>
>>716825699
and youre old
>>
>>716823868
>At least 190
194

>Fit and low body fat % with visible muscles
Going to the gym 5 times a week.

>Is smart and loyal
PhD. Doesn't get much smarter than being a scientist.

>Has a good job
Scientist.

>Has full hair
Have to cut 4 times a year, it grows like crazy.

>Is well dressed
Always shirts and matching pants/dress shoes.

>Actually knows how to make a woman cum and licks pussy

About 4 hours per week spent licking, always makes them cum.

What do you have to offer? Why would you be worthy of me?
>>
>>716823868

Is that pic of a shotgun wound or what
>>
>>716823868
Check
Check
Check on smart, negative on loyal
Check
Negative on full hair, need to keep a regulation cut
Negative on well dressed, fuck impressing people I couldn't give two shits about when I'm wearing civvis
Check

Unfortunately OP, there's a few fatal flaws that are going to keep you from finding your ideal man:
You browse /b/
You have a penis (until you prove otherwise)
Your tits are fake, solid indicator of a fairly vapid personality IMO
Your idea of "redeemable" qualities are 'my fuck parts are attractive! lol <3' men who meet all your criteria are looking for a woman that equally meets the same criteria.

At best, you're a short-term fuck toy.
>>
>>716825897
see >>716825665
>>
>>716825876
Oh, and almost forgot.

Loyal to a fault, never cheated, no matter the situation. Preferring serious relationships.
>>
>>716824700
I live in my moms basement and make six fig+. Just buying up investment properties and living free. Nobody depends on me so fuck it. In a few years I'll live like a king.
>>
>>716825855
Correct. I'm 37, but people typically think I'm younger.
>>
>>716825897
Her last boyfriend's failed suicide attempt
>>
>>716824049
This.
>>
TBH this isn't that hard to achieve. My stats:
>6'0
>190 lbs
>lift regularly so defined/built
>full hair
>fashionable (reasonably)
>sociable with friends
>good job make 150K+/year
>speak multiple foreign languages
>well traveled, lived abroad
But I don't feel particularly special or a catch - most of the guys in my social circle are like me. You should really up your standards.
>>
>>716825956
>Negative on well dressed, fuck impressing people I couldn't give two shits about when I'm wearing
Even niggers are civilized than disgusting shits like you. Mindset of a fucking animal.
>>
>>716824700

retard alert


>he even pays for all my drinks

you are a sidebitch and arent worth a shit. you fucking nothing.
>>
>>716824700
>Prioritizes alcohol consumption in a relationship

Yeah, sounds like a you're having the time of your life.
>>
Hmm my ideal boyfriend would be:
Big build (the kinda alpha male build)
Likes memes
Understanding of the whole self hate thing
Bad boy
Intelligent
Smokes weed
Likes eating pussy
A sex drive as high as mine
Loyal
And if i could choose one last thing it'd be brown eyes
>>
>>716824019
Kek'd
>>
>>716824861
Nope, I'm that "Ideal" that you describe, fuck cows like you mooing over me and thinking that you get to choose ME!
Fuck off.
>>
>>716823868
You're actually fucking retarded.
>>
>>716826382
I tick all these boxes except the weed.
>>
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>>716823868
a man like that would never be with only one woman. because he is the dream guy for every girl
think, stupid bitch
>>
I dont give a FUCK about your shitty ass motherfucking cancer ridden, herpes infested fake tits you fucking cunt.
Fuck you and your bait thread you fat loser.

But what the fuck is going on in that pic?
Did some niggers drive-by him or some shit?
>>
This all sounds superficial and boring. Like your plastic tits.
>>
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>>716825367
Oh it doesn't end there. Let me torture you one more minute.

It starts when you feel the age in your bones, and you think that since nobody has approached you maybe you should approach them. It starts on the day when you try to hook up with a young slick dude by being a whore and he gives you the "look at this worn out bitch" -look. That's the day when it begins.

That's when it becomes apparent that you're alone and you might actually stay that way. It becomes apparent that you're too old for clubs. You start dating, because older people who aren't much into doing cocaine, getting into fights and so forth aren't much into clubbing anymore. They might have been party animals but time and everyday life changes us. So you start dating like everyone else. You find and go through the has-beens; the 199cm tall ex-basketball player who's currently working as a grocery shop clerk. The unemployed veteran with PTSD who lost his legs but didn't bother telling it before the date. The engineer who's starting to bald but is otherwise okay...ish. And the beret wearing leftist artist who's not really good at anything but talks shit anyway.

You're going to end up liking the engineer. You know why? Because money solves problems when you're poor - or atleast so it seems. Realizing that this is your last chance you work your ass off to appear pleasant to him, and it's going to be hard. Really hard. And it fucking fails all the time because he's antisocial and at times an autistic imbecille. You go through few ups and downs, and when you finally recover from a nearly disasterous fight and are about to have some of that nasty flippy flappy old people sex, he's going to request something which will change your life:
He's going to ask you to tongue his fartbox, for real. And you're going to do it, because that's those are the sacrafices you have to make. From that day on he's going to ask it again, and again. And you will do it.
>>
>describes her perfect boyfriend
>on /b/

That's the metaphorical equivalent of passing out dating service flyers in the Bedlam Mental Hospital.
>>
Any of you ladies want some of this:

- 40's white male
- over $350k/year
- 6'1"
- Slight beer belly
- knows how to cook
- into astronomy
- likes to eat pussy not sure if he's good at it.

you know you want it.
>>
>>716824700
that's side bitch talk and you know it
>>
>>716823868
The real question is, why would you ask this bunch of retards for affirmation on what obviously is obvious?
>>
>>716825876
>it grows like crazy.
>Have to cut 4 times a year

only 4 times a year?
>>
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>>716823990
Nothing but odds are that chad and hos dong can do better than her so while she chases someone she can never tie down her cat children loom ever larger on the horizon
>>
>>716826028
>I'm 37
Women are like sneakers. They don't get any better with time and you'll look for newer models eventually
>>
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>tfw 189cm
I hate being a manlet
>>
>>716826028
Too old to make babies
Probably too bitter and shrew like compared to a fresh 24 year old. Not to mention saggy skin and wrinkles. Enjoy your cat collection
>>
I love how dumb cunts don't realize that they need to settle in their early 20's because while they typically age like shit, men typically age really well.
>>
>>716827824
>Women are like sneakers. They don't get any better with time and you'll look for newer models eventually
And men are like what? A fine wine? Grow up shit head.
>>
>>716823868
Cuz you're a guy you fucking autist,
>>
>>716823868
You want to date a 190-year-old man? Whatever floats your boat, dude.
>>
>>716826608
I can choose to be whoever I want on the internet too buddy. Don't flatter yourself.
>>
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>>716825808
> knows how to make a woman cum and licks pussy
>licks pussy
>pussy
>>
>>716828152
they DO say that "men blossom" with age, anon.. women just kinda wither..
>>
>>716828152
Seem like you grew up too fast, saggy naggy
>>
Boy if don't check me
>>
No man like that would settle for a fake bitch (like you propably are) though :^)
>>
>>716828152
Found the late 30's cunt that is now realizing gravity hates her and that she'll never get Mr. Right, since he's off screwing 22 year old Japanese girls.
>>
>>716828152
men typically become more attractive to women when they get in their 30s/40s while women.. dont

So yea, a fine wine fits perfectly
>>
>>716826142
>dress well to appeal to people who you have no incentive to appeal to
I dress up when it matters, dressing up for vapid whores like OP and cucks like you is pointless.
But that's alright, throw away money on that next fedora and vest you fucking faggot.
>>
>>716823868
fake tits are the worst. fuck off
>>
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>>716824515
>>716824679
what a shame u samefagging cunt
>>
>>716824175
>>716824320
>>716824679
>>716824515
>>716825290

Good job bros. the rest of you are FUCKING CANCER, kill youselves.
>>
>>716826139

i'm the same but 180. I do live in the gym, was 160 a year ago.
>>
>>716828152
SALTY
A
L
T
Y

should have settled
>>
>>716828848
tits or gtfo only applies for requests, newfag cunt
>>
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>>716823868
rate
>>
>>716829229
hes just samefagging like a mad fag anyways
>>
>>716829265
>inb4 manlet axis
>>
>>716829265
low self esteem/10
>>
>>716829265
cute af
>>
>>716828152
I see I need to educate you negros. I'm ancient by /b/ standards. I am that guy that has aged well. I'm at the top of my profession, have a smoking hot wife, a full head of hair, and a vigorous sex life - I also have a lot of friends my age and I want to assure you that woman and men are equally bad at holding up against time. I know too many 50 year old men that are fat, bald, impotent shells of their former selves to buy into your bullshit.
>>
>>716828887
so you're like 14 i guess.
>>
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>>716829989

;)
>>
>>716823868
Fuck off back to tumblr, dude
Thread posts: 92
Thread images: 18


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