You encounter a genie who grants you three wishes. Remember,

I wish I had a different genie that wouldn't misconstrue my words.

>>716767484
Done. That genie don't do a shit, so you got nothing.

>>716767180
A lawyer duh so we get a tight contract for my other two.

I wish all genies were dead. That there would never be another genie again for all of eternity. That all the genies who have ever existed were consigned to eternity in hell.

>>716767955
You get a lawyer that is shit and fails on your next two wishes.

>>716768236
Done but now its like you never had a genie to start with.
>also hell is now the same as heaven for genies only.

A bank account in this country, in my name, with standard access features and fees - with four million dollars of my own countries currency, tax free.

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>>716767180
I wish to be happy and my life to be full of good times that I will reminisce with smile...
Damn... im a sad man but im serious with this one

>>716767180
I want my dick to grow exactly 3 more inches in length, while maintaining the same girth I currently posses.

I want this change to be permanent.

I want my dick to function in the same capacity as it always has.

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>>716767180
To get dubs.

I wish for everyone else's wishes to be reversed.

>>716768841
Granted. You'll still never have sex.

>>716768647
Granted but its all stolen money and the
cops have the details of both your location and where the money came from
>>716768841
Granted but all other humans/animals now find you repulsive

>>716769006
Kek you got me

>>716768647
he'd do it but not make it seamless so all the sudden the IRS comes by and says where the fuck did this come from?

>>716768871

you get dubs but not the last two digits the ones before

>>716769085
alright that second one is cheating

>>716768952
Your wish is also reversed

>>716769240
Secure your wish better my friend

>>716769250
Well, fuck.

>>716769085
now find you repulsive? it has to be something that is from poor wording. A genie would totally give you illegal money if you just ask for money, but he wouldnt just make you repulsive for no reason, he would make the last 3 inches really skinny and say "you never specified that the NEW 3 inches had to be the same girth."

I wish that these wishes - including this one - will not have or cause any negative effects whatsoever unless intended explicitly by myself.

I wish to have the ability and skill to manipulate time - at will and without error - in the following ways:
- View and/or jump to specific points in time by selecting any person in that point of time and possess their body while maintaining my own mental identity and memories.
(The persons who's bodies I've possessed will essentially be unconscious for the duration of the possession and retain no memories of it)
- Pause and resume the flow of time while still being able to manipulate matter normally. (Myself and anything else I desire will not be effected by the pause)
- Jump back - at will and automatically in the event of my death - to the moment before these wishes are granted, undoing any changes made to the past.

I wish to have an indestructible magic 8 ball that will appear in my possession whenever I want to use it and will always answer any question asked of it truthfully.

>>716767180
Immediately placed in the hands of God.
If God doesn't exist, wish God exists.
Then wish to be placed under God's care.

You can't fuck with God, Nigger Faggot.

>>716767180
First with is that I get to have sex with 15 yo girls for the rest of my life with no legal or medical repercussions. I will never have any form of erectial distinction or catch any stds. I will never go to jail or be sued. They will never get pregnant and they will be attractive to me. They will do anything i say and will live to only please me

I wish for the genie to punch himself in the dick. Three times.

>>716768871
Everyone now hates dubs and getting them is no longer cool.
>>716769344
No its just a loophole so you dont actually get what you want.

>>716769351
Kek, winrar. Genie can btfo.

Just fucking kill me

>>716769486
He does it softly, then punches you hard

I wish for a slice of pizza

>>716769604
You go to actual hell which is this life for eternity

>>716769351
A future version of yourself comes and punches you in the face, then disappears.

wish for the genie to fuck me right in my sweet purple ass hole and then I'd kill my self

>>716769472
You have E.D.

I wish to fuck the genie's hot ass genie wife right in front of him.

>>716768726
Done but your happiness comes from a tumor in your hypothalamus and you only have 1 day left to live. Enjoy.

>>716769829
The genie has aids

>>716769703
Can't happen, he said so.

>>716769787
In the wish it says no ED

>>716769510
Your thread sucks

I wish for a turkey sandwich, on rye bread, with lettuce and mustard, and I don't want any zombie turkeys, I don't want to turn into a turkey myself, and I don't want any other weird surprises. You got it?

>>716769883
I knew u will make me retarded...

>>716770109
Gets you a sandwich with some Turkey sand.

I wish for infinite power

>>716769351
You can only control people and pause time for exactly a nano second. When you jump back in time you also lose your memory.
The 8 ball answers questions in a random order 10 minutes after you've asked 5 questions.

>>716769829
The genie's wife's ass and vag are both lined with sharp teeth and your dick gets ripped off

>>716767180
I have no wishes...

>>716769914
Cool. Still cucked a genie. Worth.

>>716770144
Meant the genie's wife has aids. And also the genie is a cuck and gets off on it.

>>716770310
You get AIDS

>>716767180
1 - be a beautiful standard girl, with my dick
2 - a legal and rightfull 4 billion dollars at the moment
3 - don't get any unwanted effects in my life than my interpretation of the wishes

>>716770271
You can't do that he wished against any negative effects

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Dear genie, I wish for a brown young, beautiful, healthy, std-free shemale who loves me dearly and gets old before she dies

>>716769472
Granted, but one of the girls will have explosives inside her and fucking her will set it off.

>>716770416
Granted. You are a faggot.

>>716770380
The genie takes pity on you and cures your dyslexia.

>>716769351
If u mess up and jump back to the time b4 the genie appeared it would be like if nothing ever happened

I wish for nothing and tell the genie to fuck off.

>>716770109
The sandwhich is extremely old and room temp

>>716767180
That djinn must have lived for thousands of years. He probably has seen some serious shit since magic is real in this setting. He definitly had to put up wth alot of assholes and idiots who always wish might, wealth, health and all that lame stuff. If no asshole around he lurked in his ass tight lamp, waiting for another dumbfuck to put up with. Imagine you are working all eternity in customer care. No wonder one day he decided to fuck over everyone.
I'd wish that he will find true happieness [spoiler] and probably kill everyone with my wish because slaughtering mankind is the only happieness he can feel at this point. [/spoiler]

>>716770109
Granted. The turkey's a little dry.

I wish to go to hell

>>716770416
She's into bloodplay and specifically only gets aroused by seeing you with an open wound. She does not sanitize her cutting instruments.

>>716769351
>negative effects
That effects are not negative to genre, so...:

You can possess other persons, but memory "remains" on brain cells, so you go back to your body and didn't remember anything (just like the possessed one).

The pause it's only at one feet from you, so anytime you try, you just stop a little portion of earth... not enough for nothing.

You get frozen. As you don't have "moment of death", you will never go back.

The ball is so big that you are not able to use it or lift it.

>>716770271
So you can ask 4 questions that u know are true/positive and 5th is the real question so there would be 5 yes or only one no

>>716770577
He fucks you

#1.) I will wish for complete control over the genies soul so that he must always obey my wishes. #2.) Ask for infinite wishes.

>>716770665
Good job m8

>>716770577
>I wish for nothing
All of existence is erased

>>716770372
Nonsense... how it is related?

>>716770655
hey come on i asked for a healthy one, that means healthy mind aswell.

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>>716769351
Clever...

>>716770416
She gets old rapidly and dies minutes after appearing.

>>716769448
Genies are islamic myth, so you get at Allahs hands. He treat you as you deserve.

>>716770776
IDK, I'm not the genie. Just wanted to give you an incurable disease.

I wish for Harambe to be brought back to life.

>>716770416
Granted. She ages at an extremely advanced rate and dies naturally of old age within 24 hours.

>>716770802
>healthy mind
You never specified that in your original wish, you just said she had to be "healthy", which could mean anything. She's in perfect physical health, by the way, so your wish is still fully granted.

I wish I had never been born.

>>716770958
He is killed again instantly and we have to go through all that bullshit again

>>716770958
Granted. Harambe never died, and as such never became a meme, and lived the rest of his life depressed in a shitty inner-city zoo.

>>716767180
I wish the first letter of the alphabet was q

I wish for bad things to always happen to me and good things to never happen to me.

your move faggot

>>716770958
He comes back and he's fucking pissed. He goes on a rampage and gets shot again.

>>716771092
Granted but know one knows this and still believes its A

>>716770972
better than nothing
>>716771046
I dont want her if she's into cutting me with knives

I wish for unlimited wishes.

1) Bring back black slavery, 2) Have unlimited wealth which is secure and I have access to, 3) Have the genie kill itself and all other genies so nobody else can do what I did.

I wish for all my wishes to be construed in an unexpected and unsavory way.

>>716771092
Grqnted. Qll Qs qre replqced with Qs, qnd nobody cqn understqnd qnything qnybody else sqys.

I want french fries

>>716770958
He comes back exactly as is in zombie form and starts the zombie apocalypse

>>716770322
Top kek, would kek again

>>716771195
Granted. Every wish you make goes horribly wrong.

>>716771264
Granted but there is no salt or ketchup and they are cold and stale

>>716771195
Granted but only the first three wishes (including the one you laready used) has any effect.

>>716770802
Shemale =/= healthy mind.

I wish for hitler to be brought back to life

>implying there is even any possible negatives from that action

>>716771220
The genie reverts time back to immediately before the end of the Civil War, makes you a white slave owner fighting in the Confederate army, and kills itself while laughing. You are shot by a Union soldier, as you are too fat to be concealed by cover.

>>716771411
Same as harambe. He is a zombie and begins the zombie apocalypse