Weirdest sexual experience thread. Just had mine. >plowing

After a birthday night of drinks with my gf she brought up the subject of her parents dog and her fantasy of having him fuck her. Was weird the fuck out at first but when it happened... Holy shit was it hot

>>716637860
I'm going to need some greentext on this.

You gonna start making her do that all the time?

>>716637860
why do dog farts smell so bad? :(

>>716637520
kinda hot.

>back then i was fucking this freak blonde
>7/10 short hair, well shaped blonde with some meat on her. not fat.
>would do anything daddy told her.
>wants to fuck outdoors
>not into it but i figured since i just face fucked her and fired a load into her throat, id amuse her.
>we go to the woods, we go off the trail
>find a decent clearing
>starts sucking me against a tree
>diamonds
>lay her on the dirt and start filling her
>fuck her for a good bit.
>pick her up and place her against a tree to go doggy.
>get a bad gut feeling
>boner gone.
>tell her we are wrapping this party up
>she moans about it
>the second we pull our pants on a weeb walking his parents two golden retrievers emerges into the path
>that was a close one.
>i still dont like fucking outside.

>>716638270
I usually cum inside her ass because she has a kink for that. If I notice it's coming out dirty though then definitely yes. I think if I just give her some listerine afterwards it should be fine.

>>716637860
yo green text that shit.

>>716638472
should've stayed and asserted dominance

>>716638472
Probably wouldn't have stopped for just a weeb. What's he gonna do? I'd love to cum down her throat but the last time we tried it she threw up all over my dick. That encounter was weird but in a bad way.

>>716638553
what's to greentext? that's the full story.

>>716638794
Right, fucked his dogs to show him who's boss.

>>716638853
Its like you didnt read my story at all.

>>716639069
you just don't get it do you? twat

>>716639069
make the dogs fuck her more like

>>716638543
Yeah man do it it's hot, I once had a slut that loved ATM miss her still sometimes

>>716639170
what?

>>716639069
I did. I'm just not afraid of dogs or weaboos.

>>716639304
well then why did you reply to it then?

>mom goes on vacation
>alone in the house
>gf comes over
>prop her facing away from me on a tall stool
>ass sticking out ready to be fucked
>she's the kind of girl that doesn't admit to farting, very clean, well mannered
>fuck her in the ass
>pull out, notice some shit slide off my cock onto the tile floor
>scoop it with finger when she's not looking
>eat it. not bad
>breath tasted like shit for two days no matter what

>>716639494
wow u sick fuck

>>716639494
Kek

>>716639494
Ew dude..

I was about 12, found my dads stash of copied porn VHSs in his wardrobe so I start slowly working my way through them.cooying the best scenes to my own master fap tape. After a few days I come across a tape with footage of him fucking my mum on a couch, crazy fap like mad and jizz over the floor. Still weird remembering it to this day.

>>716639868
jesus

>>716639868
I found porn of my parents too when I was a kid. Pics mixed inwith his playboys. Had the total opposite reaction of you though. Couldn't fap for a week.

>>716640269
Yeah I'm not proud. Not sure why I turned me on so much, I assume it was mainly because I was so young and because it was someone I personally knew that it was mega erotic

>fuck a white girl
>parents tell me "no hanky panky" next day at dinner

>have asian friend
>short, freckled, square body but whatev. Big c cups, cute butt.
>we are chilling and drinking.
>on my bed
>asks to see me dick
>allofmywuts
>"we're friends right?"
>i oblige
>she is impressed.
>reaches for it.
>starts jerking me off and positions herself to give me head
>diamonds bruh
>fast forward, were fucking
>shes loud
>flip her over, fuck her doggy
>view is amazing and im pulling her hard into my cock
>That's when she lets it out "oh- daddy!"
>Triggered
>I proceed to adjust myself and deliver a pussy-fuck like never before.
>She arches, clenches and cums
>Shit you not this girl fired skeet all over my cock at sonic speed.
>As in mattress is now near ruined.
>swear she might as well have emptied her bladder on me.

The moral of the story is dont call me daddy less you want to tear that pussy up.
This was 3 years ago and recently she's texted me out of nowhere. We gonna go see rogue one together, finger crossed she wants the d.

>>716640420
Was your mom hot? Mine wasn't.

>>716640601
Did you hank her pank in front of them to assert dominance over her father?

>>716640819
At the time yeah, she had a nice shaven pussy which at the time wasn't all that common and legs that went on forever.

>>716640927
Parents' room next to daughter's room. Kept fucking her anyway until I broke it off with her

>>716640798
>swear she might as well have emptied her bladder on me.
that's what she did, dumbass.

>>716640601
>weirdest sexual experience is just fucking someone

>>716641282
Word is that how skeet works? Gee thanks for explaining. though it came from some weird mystic clit portal women create when they nut.

>>716641315
Well, if it's the only one he has

>>716641177
Nice i used to fuck this 15yr old pawg when i was 18 in her house, next to her brothers room and with her mom in the house.
We'd come out smelling like sex and she was still cool with me.
white people are fucking weird.

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>>716639494
>not bad

>>716638889
How did the dog fucking go? She take the knot? Blow the dog? Did she cum?

>>716637520
I fucked my stepsister over summer break when we were both really drunk. We did it for 4 months and never spoke of it again

>>716639494
>>716639253
>>716637520
Jesus. What is with all the shit eaters?

>>716637520
>things that never happened

masturbated with both hands once

My ex used to like it when I would blindfold her and fuck her that way so she couldn't see what I was doing. I always thought it was so incredibly hot watching her suck me off without seeing it and I'd often just keep face fucking her until cumming down her throat

>>716642148
You are a fucking degenerate. You disgust me.

>>716642078
I can't prove it happened but if I were to lie I'd make it way more interesting than ass to mouth.

>>716640798
>Shit you not this girl fired skeet all over my cock at sonic speed.
>As in mattress is now near ruined.
>swear she might as well have emptied her bladder on me.

That's exactly what she did.

>gf comes over
>panties come off
>pussy shows residue of cum

>fuck her, harden cum residue all over dick
>whatever
>spread her ass
>"fuck me baby"
>pull out
>she sucks my cock clean

till this day I wonder what all of that nut meant in her pussy. Mind you this was like in the morning, was it her cum or some other dudes?

We're broken up now though.

>>716642775
Probably vag discharge wasn't cheating

>>716642775
You could try asking.

>>716642681
It's not ass to mouth. That would be believable. My gf has done that, after she was properly cleaned to begin with. It's the whole eating shit off your dick that's not believable. Whether it's a coating of lube-y runny shit, or part of a turd, it's not believable for someone to just go along with a request/order that they eat shit, out of nowhere. Sounds like bad fiction.

>>716642775
sisterhood protection mechanism detected

>>716642775
>gf comes over with another guys cum clearly in pussy
>still to this day can't figure she was cheating

Sex in the missionary position for the purpose of procreating

>>716642736
see
>>716641581

>>716642963
thanks for the optimism and calcification anon.
though i never doubted in her, that morning made me contemplate things but god how i miss her and her creamy pussy.

>>716642775
She was likely close to ovulation. Discharge. No big deal. If it was cum you'd have smelled the difference, super bleachy.

>>716639253
Your own shit isn't as bad as a strangers. I've had a girl do this it's hot and feels so good. I've done anal a lot pull out and rub my dick on many sluts faces and blow my load.

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Ex was a closet freak. I had no idea how strong the freak actually was.

>One night, hitting it doggy, hands around her throat per the usual. Letting her breathe just before she passed out.
>She looks back and tells me in the hottest voice I've ever heard, "make me pass out daddy."
>Am reluctant. Don't want to have to explain that in court at the murder trial. Keep fucking her pussy as hard as I can.
>Tell her to let me fuck her ass instead. We says no, as she always did because it gets too bad and she hates it.
>Fine, I'll just choke the bitch out.
>Squeeze her neck.
>Stop fucking and just choke her like I hate her.
>She struggles, finally passes out.
>Wait wake up ho.
>Still limp.
>Decide I'm going to fuck her ass if she's passed out.
>Pull dick out of pussy and literally ram it into her dry asshole.
>Suddenly, the slut lives.
>Wakes up to me fucking her ass harder than anyone has ever fucked anything, ever.
>She realizes what's happening.
>Suddenly she cums. Hard. Squirts everywhere.
>It's a goddamn food.
>Tells me to fuck her ass harder.
>Literally cannot
>I cum harder than I ever have

>From then on, that was the routine. I loved the sex, and so did she. We finally broke up by nobody will ever compete with that girl.

>>716643246
thanks anon
it was actually hot as fuck watching her clean up after herself I suppose.

>camping with friends, a couple, and gf
>all get wasted
>gf passes out in tent
>they go in
>they fuck
>he cums, they both pass out
>I go in after a bit, drunk and groggy
>smell of sex gets me going
>lay next to friend's gf, check that she's out
>feel her tits, play with her pussy
>eat her pussy, tastes like sex
>beating off, sucking cum from her hole
>get close, hop on top of her
>bust inside her pussy
>find out later she'd forgot her pills on the trip
>she got pregnant
>it's probably mine

>>716643517
> It's a goddamn food.
keksimus

>>716643028
She's really submissive with a focus on humiliation. She's previously drank my piss on my orders/let herself be hit/flashed on command. The shit thing was just a new level for us. I was genuinely surprised she did it too.

>>716643802
That's gross, you are scum dude

Had a handjob off sister at a house party. We didn't speak for months after it but it was hot as fuck

>>716643517
How do you find the closet freaks?

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Oh boy
>couple of years ago
>dating nice gril
>8/10 best titties on the west side of the Mississippi
>would literally do anything for me
>we were both seniors in highschool
>hanging at her house
>her mom leaves
>cometodaddy.mp4
>quality fuck
>suck on her tits a little afterwards because I'm that kind of guy
>get really into it
>purplenipples.jpeg
>mfw her mom walks in on me giving her the fattest hickey of her life and has never looked at me the same ever since

>eating dinner at gf's house with her and her parents
>they are super conservative, think we don't even kiss or hold hands
>about half way through the dinner she excuses herself from the room for about 30 seconds, goes to the kitchen for something but weirdly she closes the door as she goes through it
>sits down and continues eating
>chatting away with her folks, tell them how great the chipped beef and the cold corn pot pie chicken brasco eight quarts brisket fallon beer bong is like a normal american retard that has no idea that the rest of the world doesn't know what his gibberish negroid dialect means
>i'm sitting next to her, after a few minutes a sweet smell reaches my nose, realise she must have been preparing dessert or microwaving it or something
>she reaches over the table to take the pepper
>as she rises from her chair slightly, the sweet smell grows suddenly more potent, irresistable
>notice there is a dark, sticky wet patch in the back of her dress from under where she had been sitting
>also catch sight of a small round goopy stain on the chair beneath her
>quickly dip my finger in it and put it in my mouth to taste it
>tastes sickly sweet, like a mixture of blood and three month old egg curry
>it has a grainy, lumpy texture within a smooth sauce
>need to taste some more
>she is already sat back down, unaware
>i slide my hand bit by bit under her butt from the back
>she is startled, but can't alert her parents - looks at me with wide eyes
>she lifts her butt for a moment and raises her dress so my hand has direct access for only 99.95
>slide my finger into her chocolate factory, mr wonka isn't home
>scoop out several old tablespoons of her thick, oily diarrhoea
>lift my hand to my mouth and drink it like warm granular gravy, rubbing it all over my face
>she is flushed in the face, squats on her chair and aims her winking sphincter at my food hole
>fires.
>i gulp down all she offers me, feeling dozens of tiny colonic worms swarm down my throat

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>>716643803
I'm drunk as fuck. I just read thru the spelling errors and lmao pic not related

I was in a sexual relationship with an adult when I was only 13 years old. We're both guys btw.

It was a great experience and I have nothing bad to say about it. But it is weird to most people tho, so I guess it fits the thread

>>716644354
That's the thing, there is no way to know.

>>716644456
she went to the kitchen to fart, then sharted, then came back, then you ate poop through her clothes.

>>716643969
Never had a girl clean shit off my dick with her mouth however I had a gf agree to anal and ATM with swallowing. So I pull out after pounding her slut ass hard. There's a small piece of shit on it. She flicks it off and takes care of my cock. She was a true slut spit was her perfered choice of lube.

>>716644581
Did you have to do any convincing? All my exes have been like sorta down to try stuff like anal eventually but we never got to it

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>Was at a party super drunk on whiskey
>fucked one of my best friends ex gf who he specifically said if anyone fucked her he would hate them forever.
>Knew it was wrong so I couldnt keep it up long enough to bust a nut.
>felt like less of a man as a result.
>called 2 ex GFs on the way home needing redemption.
>both wanted to chill.
>Went on a rampage and both in the same night.
>second girl i fucked on the beach
>third girl asked where i was coming from and why i had sand in my hair.
>told her i was hanging with som friends on the beach.
>next morning wake up to a pissed off ex
>she said youre a fucking liar, I got shit to do today.
>Asked whats wrong, she said check (insert ex girlfriends name here)'s facebook
>went on the facebook second girl posted about having an incredible night spending time with her true love on the beach
>called 3rd girl and apologized
>long story short she said she was pissed i lied not that i did it
>MFW friend confronts me and i cant bring myself to tell him i got to fuck both of them for 3 months straight because i couldnt get it up with his ex.
>MFW alls well that ends well

>>716644754
It became a regular thing after that. Turns out her parents didn't even mind as long as we were careful and she didn't end up pregnant.

>>716644754
Yeah must of been interesting mom and dad watched. That's kinky.

>be me at 14
>dating some other 14 year old girl, who was super cute and pretty hot, total girl next door if you didn't know her
>she was fucked, huge skank, messed around with a lot of other dudes before me, had an 18 year old boyfriend in 8th grade
>dont really care, just want some ass
>we fool around and have sex a few times, it's your basic awkward 9th grade shit
>on 4/20, we go and smoke pot (she did it a little before) with a bunch of friends then we all go back to my one buddy's house to chill
>i dont really get that high, but she apparently would become beyond horny when she got high
>while still at friends house, literally dragged me into a spare bedroom, pushed me onto the bed, got on top of me, pulled down her leggings and panties and just sits on my face
>undoes my jeans and starts jerking me off
>can't even breathe she was so fuckin wet
>finally moves and positions herself cowgirl on my cock
>proceeds to ride it like it was the last thing she was going to do in her life
>she's moaning and howling and I'm like in fuckin shock
>within 3 minutes i yell at her to get off and blow the wildest load of my life
>after, gf quickly lays down and falls straight asleep i walk out of bedroom to get something to drink
>everyone hanging out at the house looks at me bewildered, best friend is laughing his ass off cause I had the greatest "Holy shit" look on my face
>gf and i break up a few weeks later over some random unrelated shit, never really talk to her again

I'm now almost 21, and that was by far the craziest sexual experience I have ever had. Never been with another chick who has ever gone into such a primal state of sexual lust, and every girl I've ever got high with usually becomes the furthest thing from horny when high. I still wonder what she's up too occasionally.

>>716644456
>tell them how great the chipped beef and the cold corn pot pie chicken brasco eight quarts brisket fallon beer bong is like a normal american retard that has no idea that the rest of the world doesn't know what his gibberish negroid dialect means
OBSESSED

>>716644877
Not really man. I just sort of grabbed her neck one night while we were fucking and lightly squeezed and she went fucking crazy. She had never been choked and didn't even know she like it.

>>716645370
The New Fragrance, from Lacoste.

Other than making my girl pass out on the regular there's really nothing to it. I'm just that much better than all of you.
>tfw fucking for 3 hours minimum each night, getting super sick cardio

>>716645767
>girl can go that long without pussy starting to hurt
An hour for every inch.

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>>716644456
.............what the fuck

>>716641581
That "portal" is called the urethra and it's always there dumbass.

>>716646045
Xylocain as lube, you fucking noob ;)

>>716641315
Probably more than you've ever done

>had this gf 9/10 body
>had anal 1-2 times
>was horny wanted to fuck but she was refusing
>she goes for a shower
>i start wanking because I am mad at her for leaving me dry..
>she comes back in the room with me jacking it
>stares for a bit asks me what im doing
>i cum and we talk, i say i needed satisfaction
>we fuck a bit after
She was a little freak she was

>>716646384
I've had weirder faps. Masturbation counts.

>Be fooling around with my gf at a party in a bedroom
>Both really fucking drunk
>So drunk I'm having a hard time keeping it up
>Manage to keep the steeple upright
>GF says "Anon, I want you to fuck me in the ass"
>Damn that was unexpected
>Fuck it, I'll do it.
>Never really had a desire to do it, but figure what the hell
>Insert into the muddy depths
>Takes a minute to get it in, no lube just spit which isn't really working
>Start pounding away
>She's moaning, really into it
>Moans start turning into strange whimpers
>In the dark, can't see shit captain
>Realize she is fucking crying
>I'm not an asshole, stop immediately
>Apologize, say I didn't meant to hurt her.
>She's sobbing, and apologizes to me
>WTF?
>Tells me it wasn't the pain, acts weird and fumbles about trying to explain what's wrong
>Then begins the tale of how her step-father molested her throughout her early life
>Apparently he liked anal
>Not with her anymore, and as far as I know I'm the only person who knows.

>consensual sex
>missionary position

>my brother jerked me off while watching Casper
>said he wanted to put my dick in his mouth
>go upstairs
>back against wall
>he just opened his mouth as wide as possible
>took my 9 year old dick in his mouth
>blew
>I think he took blowjob too literally

Can't look him in the eye to this day.

>>716646221
Golly gee! Is it really?? I thought girls were like sex wizards with spontaneous cloacas appearing and disappearing.

>>716646069
try it, you might like it

the smell is probably the weirdest part, but it tastes good and the texture is like really good meat soup or something
doesn't wash out of clothes though, so she gave me her dress so i could hold it to my nose while i fapped whenever she had to study or go to special education.

>Met this 21 year old girl off myspace
>Spider man 3 is about to come out and she says she wants to watch it
>I'm like shit yeah lets watch spiderman
>She enjoys my company and we continued dating for a while seeing other movies and shit like that
>Start going over to stay at her place on weekends, she has house to herself because her single mom has a boyfriend or something
>she goes to have a shower
>comes out just wearing a towel
>I grab her take her towel
>She's shy but lets me eye her up and down
>Jumps up on me and wraps legs around me and starts making out
>Throw her on her bed and start fucking missionary
>It feels good and I cum inside
>9 months later a fucking baby comes out of her vagina
>This happens a few more times and more babies come out of her pussy hole
>Fucking weird as fuck
>end up with 4 kids and a wife
>7 years later I tell a bunch of teenagers about it on /b/ even though I am twice their age

>>716646892
very good, laughed alot

>>716646446
reminds me of

>had girlfriend i still miss and love and can't let her out of my mind after 1.5 years since i've last seen her
>1-2 anal
>want to do it again, she says no and goes for a shower
>i decide i want to be in control of my own pleasure and not let any female stop me - probably based on something i read on this board
>fap while on the bed, ejaculate into a condom because i felt like it
>she comes back a few minutes later, all clean and naked from the shower
>i've thrown the used, tied off condom in the dustbin already
>she asks me what i've just done, told her
>she said she had just been in the shower cleaning out her butthole so i could stick my dick in it
>can't even summon disappointment, rest of the day is not what it could have been
One of the many communication failures, bad choices and pieces of bad timing or bad luck in the relationship that seemed like it was supposed to last until our deaths.

>>716647167
Are you 70 plus you lying faggot

>>716647167
Op here. I'm 26. Impregnation is an alright fetish. All of my friends seem to be into it these days. Too expensive for me.

>>716647571
Wow fell for you

>>716647790
Yeah, could really do with some money now that you mention it.

>>716647915
do not understand this post

>>716647571
Bruh.. I still think about her sometimes.. she was very good to me just a bit to young and bold..

>>716642065

honestly, OP acting like it's normal for him to want his girlfriends mouth to taste like utter vile.... smh

I don't even want shit anywhere near my cock, that's nasty af yo

>>716647790
Pregos are a fun fuck

>>716648059
Feel Fucking phone. To lazy to go to my puter

>be married
>have missionary sex for the sole purpose of procreation
>remain faithful and true
Pretty fucked up shit

Not really weird but kind of funny. One time me and my ex were fooling around in my truck. She starts blowing me and when I busted a nut in her mouth and it came out her nose. Gave her a white dragon. Never laughed so hard in my life. She wasn't amused.

>>716643080
You. You're a sick fuck. Not a cringe thread.

One time my ex and I were driving around looking for a place to fuck in my mom's car at night and we couldn't find anywhere hidden so we just parked on the side of the road next to a couple houses in a suburban area and got it on right there

>>716648135
I know I'm not normal. That's why I made a thread for weird sexual experiences instead of normal ones.

>>716648099
I've met dozens of girls since.
Rejected almost all of them.
All I can think about is her. She was a light in my life.
I stopped contacting her in january. She wrote to me until august, I never replied.
Miss her every day.

>Be me
>Sworn Brother of the nights watch
>Wild-ling Gets frisky with me in a cave
>shit was cash

>>716648267
ah
thanks man

>>716649132
can't believe you ate a minge that had never seen water

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>>716647167

I like it

wadafuq u into some fucked up shit what are you doing kill yourself

>be fucking around with girl, she's on my bed on all fours now
>sitting behind her, thinking about hitting it again before I get an idea while playing with her pussy
>work my fingertips in, she gets where I'm going with this
>braces herself, start wedging more of my fingers in
>plenty of oil and flexible hand, get my whole fist in her, labia's stretched around the base of my hand where my wrist starts
>hand balled up in her cunt, she's going mad, she's a dirty slut and I love it
>can't move much but rotating hand gives enough friction for her to lose her mind, spasming like mad
>she's heading for orgasm quick, suddenly her muscles spasm bad
>her legs fly out, she launches herself forward
>watch her fly off the bed and disappear behind the sheets as she faceplants
>on her way down ehs's squirting like a fire hydrant, covers my sheets and me
>she comes to her sense and gets back up
>I'm sitting there on my knees covered in her juices from the waist up, wet stain around me
>just be sitting there with a grin on my face, didn't get anything sexual out of it but fuck that was cool

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>Dating an alcoholic girl
>Skinny but only because of metabolism and young age probable
>She really likes carbs like fries and cheesy potatoes and the like
>She's pretty horny as most young girls are
>Adopts habit of calling my spunk "chicken and dumplings"
>For some period of time whenever she wants to fuck and swallow my load she just says
>I need my chicken and dumplings tonight

Pic related before she became lazy and quit shaving puss

(captcha: select all food lol)

>>716649971
>date girl
>she's an alcohol

>>716649811
>covered in piss from the waist up, piss stain around me
Fixed.

>>716650260
Shouldn't the taste/smell give that away?

>Ex gf finds my furry stash and a little beast too.
>Embarrassed
>She tells me it's okay and that she masturbated to a video of 2 dogs fucking
>I immediately buy tail buttplug and collar
>Tfw she was my sexy puppy

Not too weird. But eh.

>>716637860
>implying she isn't already fucking her parents dog and that's why it dosent like you.

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>>716637520
>Shit was so cash

>>716638283
Diet. Meat contains a lot of disulfide bonds when end up as various noxious sulfur compounds during digestion

>>716650322
Not if she drinks enough water.

>>716644456
>slide my finger into her chocolate factory, mr wonka isn't home
topkek

>>716650629
Yeah, no, it was pretty consistent with her lubricant thusfar.
It's equally likely the same spasm that launched her like that also contracted her vagina and splashed me with a combination of her wetness and the oil.

>>716650506
Toppest of keks

Not weirdest but today i put a wine bottle in my ass (not the whole thing of course). Feels good man.

>>716650808
She didn't squirt half a pint out as in your description.
Admit you exaggerated and I'll let it go.
Otherwise, it was a bladder full of stinking, infected whore-piss and you know it.

>>716650951
I can tell the whore-piss apart, she urinated on my dick earlier that day incidentally. It was a busy week.
Also it doesn't take half a pint to splash your upper body. Nor do I see her putting that out in a split second as she's hitting the ground. Maybe once she's on the ground, sure, but she messed up my sheets not my carpet.
Tbh maybe the sheets were getting pretty messy towards the end in any case. Honestly the bed was becoming a slip'n'slide.

>>716650951
>being this mad you can't make girls squirt
HAHAHAHAHA!

>>716651140
>only seen it on faked porn videos detected
Females have no ejaculate containment unit, they have very small lubrication glands which produce but do not store.
If there is any jet of fluid, it is either a tranny or piss.

>girlfriend used to work at Victoria Secret
>tells me to help her steal lingerie
>whatever.jpg
>get to Pink™
>she tells me to help her pick some out
>we pick some stuff out for her
>some cute employee chick asks if she'd like to try the stuff out
>gf goes into the dressing room and waited for nobody to be around and pulls me in
>pulls my pants down and sucks my cock
>Diamonds
>I sit down on the seat and have her ride me
>look up, some cute chick next to our dressing room looks over the wall
>nod to her, inviting her
>she blushes and gets back into her room
>flip gf over and fuck her and finish in her mouth

Still wish I could have convinced her to fuck

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>>716641581
Fem

(not my thread, asking for no favors. No tits.)

Our urethra is directly below the clit, that was definitely piss, though we do regularly release a clear/white discharge on the inside, especially during penetration/stimulation of the vaginal opening.

>>716651129
"covered in juices from the waist up"
"wet stain around me"
So, she produced enough fluid to coat the half square metre skin of your upper body, more if you include the neck, face and arms - and further to that, produced enough to make a circular soaked patch on the bed of perhaps the same area.
That works out to be about half a pint.
If she is a male pig, then it becomes believable.

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>>716651394
>can't get girls wet enough or make them cum hard enough to squirt
>calls other people out on shit he fails at

>>716651624
>jerks off male pigs in barnyards
>can't drink enough of it
>low quality chinese phone autocorrects 'pig spunk' to 'wet girls'
>boasts about animal fest on the internet while adding tumblr reaction images.

>>716651605
It's not sludge dipshit. It doesn't pile on like an inch thick.
Besides creating that kind of stain happens with regular sex alone.
Don't tell me you've never soaked the sheets. That would just be depressing.

>>716637520
Source img?

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>>716651776
We're reaching levels of MAD that shouldn't be possible!

>>716651844
Are you female? Your utter lack of fluid dynamics and your quick trigger finger use of the pink card makes it seem like that.

Is your girlfriend morbidly obese? You might find that is her disgusting sweat levels rather than her secret prostate gland.

>>716651957
No response at all.
Just another faggy tumblr image.

Game over dude, time to let your older brother go on again.

>>716652078
>Your utter lack of fluid dynamics
Are you retarded?

>>716651957
bruh just stop, that nigga put you out

>>716652078
Pink card?
Are we going to get into some mra thing here? Is this another internet justice topic?

>>716652166
>>716652202
>samefagging

>>716651557
Jesus that pic is horrifying.

>>716652202
>Childish adhoms
>putting anything out

>>716638118
This.

Wow cool guys b watsap yo!!!!!!

Have story 4 u guys listen up lol!!!

>be fucking my girl she so hot 11/10 and she's rich and her dad is rich and is going to give me a job on his factory making gold and give me money
>fucking her for 12 hours n im bored playin on my playstation portable that i bought an i got like 20 of them lol cause i got so much money
>she has a heart attack again cause she luv my dick so much and i have to call the private doc to resuisuetctate her cause she dead
>she wake up and she shit her pants so hard cause she cume and i eat the shit and feed her the shit then she shoot semen in my mouth from her big fat dik and i drink it all but then there is so much i have to put a bucket down
>she fills the bucket and then the bucket overflows and it fills up the room so i open the door
>it fills up the whole masnion and i got like 12 mansions cause i so rich
>then it fills up the street and the whole town and soon the whole cuntry is full of her hot semens
>then we all lost 4eva
We wuz Atlantis
peace.

>>716652292
>>716652350
samefag samefags while calling out samefagging samefagginly

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>>716652292
>>716652350
why are you fags even still trying?

>>716652209
see >>716651557

Can't believe how persistent some people are while lying on the internet.
Like if you admit it, you have to admit it to yourself.

I remember one girl telling me she was pregnant for months, and then suddenly one day admitting it was all a story.
Fucking nutjobs.

I hope you suffocate under your fat piggy girlfriend's rolls and folds you fucking manlet.

>>716652655
>autistic enough to fall for obvious bait
Stop, your giving me cancer

>>716652655
nice photoshopping skills, hacker
but you aren't fulling anyone
i dont think u know who u r dealing with

>>716652078
I'm also a little concerned over how you seem surprised by people sweating a lot when they're fucking for a while.
It doesn't really take obesity. I was in the shape of my life, she was a fit tight (well not anymore) qt

But I feel like we're getting into an internet debate here. So I'll just go back to greentexting. So back to body fluids..

>Same chick
>Haven't seen her a while, hook up again and head over to her place
>She's staying a building with shared kitchen pooled between her and about 3 other tenants.
>Get into her place, finally alone.
>Can't resist each other and just go at it, don't even get my clothes off
>Have a good time with her, cum and relax
>Decide to go make us some food
>Discover my pants are ruined.cum/lube mixture from both of us smeared over the ground, making my groin soggy and white-ish.
>Didn't bring other clothes, don't know what to do
>She visibly enjoys it and tells me to just ignore it
>Know she loves marking me. I like it, decide to roll with it
>Head out to the kitchen to go cook dinner
>Neighbor comes out, dude looks like Adebisi from Oz
>Dude can tell what's up, obviously, but my not giving a shit makes him appreciate the humor
>Cook paella while having chitchat with him and he's trying to not look at the stain

>>716652975
calls someone autistic, can't even spell autistic.
way to go you fucking idiot

>>716652869
You seem really invested in selling me on this. I'm just not agreeing with you. I did do watersports with her, that's not a point of shame.

>>716653071
>gets called out on being autistic
>corrects the grammar
You can't make this shit up!

>>716642148
You sick

>>716652975
>if I say he is samefagging and I'm right, then I'm right! I'd be the champ of the day!

>if I'm wrong, I can just say it's b8! Wow, what a win-win!

Cuck

>>716653009
>covered in her juices from the waist up
>>716652078 called it
Fat blob sweating bullets from the simple act of breathing without a ventilator.

Juices.
Sweat.
Liar.
Idiot.

Don't lie if you can't keep it consistent you fucking midget.

>>716650431
sexy puppy is the cutest thing and I'm a huge faggot for saying that

>>716653188
spelling isn't grammar dude
need to work on your reading and comprehension skills if you want to try communicating by text

>>716653255
>photoshopping a picture to avoid "embarassment" on an anonymous mongolian troath singing forum

>>716653109
So you admit that your boyfriend was fat.
Finally.

>>716653255
>>716653368
samefags. stop.

>>716653338
>he's so severely retarded he can't make out the meaning of slightly misspelled words
You're a goldmine, keep posting please!

>>716653368
>implying I'm both new enough to this site to need to be right so bad that I'd shop an image, while simultaneously implying that I'm old enough to be able to shop the image

Goddamn you are one stupid, stubborn nigger

>>716653009
I'm gonna keep rolling with another gross exhibitionist story

>Be seeing qt malay girl at the time
>Fwb type thing, spending the weekend at her place
>Backstory - I show up late to work often. I put in more than my hours and I deliver, but yeah. So on with the story.
>Notice I've slept past my alarm. Decide fuck it, I gotta unwind
>Wake her up and start fooling around, take her under the covers and spend next two hours having sex with her
>Finally tucker ourselves out, go have a shower and prep
>Didn't bring any toiletries. No gel or deodorant,
>Just head to work
>Show up hours late, wearing old clothes (still a suit, but funkier and a little messier), hair's tangled up, my breath distinctly smells of her vagina.
>initial shock kinda took people back, but they rolled with it.

>>716653535
>your
Nice going, Sherloch.

>>716653579
>"I DON'T NEED TO BE RIGHT!!!!!!!!"
>keeps replying
:^)

>>716653579
>>716653535
stop safemfagging u fuckin idiotis!!!!

>>716643802
what does the kid look like

>>716642036
Story?

>>716653823
smelly, brown and about a pound.

>>716646749
You sick fuck

>>716651913
not op but it is alena croft

rip this thread of lies and fantasies

>>716654055
idiot alara croft is a computer not real u stupid idiot
fuck off if u dont know sourec

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>>716652335
Isn't it? It's a male to female transition, they disgust me, it's a weird hobby. Want more?

>>716652869
Yeah, bitches be crazy. Seriously, though, vaginas are pretty simple, and there are way more females (actual females) on /b/ than you think. It's not a secret to be here anymore. My actual manlet coworker regularly discusses /b/ at work.

>>716651557
Oh my goodness i had NO IDEA how female anatomy worked before this horrific explanation.

>>716646749
You monster

>>716654185
I've met one in the real life, who admitted it during a conversation in a bar.
She was a latecomer, and probably doesn't come anymore.

Like you, she had a desire to shock either herself or other people. Generally females that want to fit into a male atmosphere try too hard and are easily spotted for what they are.

You know the rules. tits or stick a pencil up your urethra

>>716644529
>not greentexting the experience

>>716654480
>using greentexting as a verb post-2007

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>>716654371
And I can't even tell if that is sarcasm, due to the massive amount of males that DON'T understand basic female anatomy, especially males here in the U.S.

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>>716654460
You spelled sharpie in pooper wrong. And no, I've been on here for quite some time. Nothing surprises me anymore.

>>716654614
Funny, women are never called out on their absolutely ignorance of male anatomy.

You just think you know. It makes it even more pathetic.
Post something un-tryhard if you can.

Normal posters would post tits or sexy piss pics.
You revert to shock images because you think that is what you are supposed to do.
You'll never fit in.

>>716646749
Villain

>>716654871
You'll now read about it, and try to memorise it - so you can reinforce your own illusion and defense capabilities.

Still won't work, as you are trying too hard.

I wonder why though. What drives you. Where did it start. This inferiority.

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>>716654871
These aren't shocking. These are common medical photos. And besides, I'm more into traps, so I'd say I lean more toward non-lewd BJ in that category.

>>716655025
>>716654871
samefag stop replying to yourself it is embaresing

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>>716655099
Nice dubs, whiteknight bro.

>>716655041
You were posting them for shock value, attention.
Stop being so confrontational. This was a peaceful thread before you came.
Don't hurt me. This wasn't supposed to be like this. Why does it always happen. I'll never find my way. It can't be like this forever. When will it be different again. I don't remember who said it but I like to think that one day I will say something like that.

>>716655243
what are dabs? thxn

>>716655243
>>716655099
>>716655025
saempheg

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>>716655243
I guess I still haven't posted a weird sexual experience.

>be me, about 5 years ago
>start going onto a stream website regularly with a group of people
>get really close with this one dude
>we discuss traps
>not realize at the time the clear signs that he's ito feminization
>discuss my interest in putting makeup on my male friends and how I'm always weirdly insistent on it
>tell him about my huge collection of panties and stockings
>he starts talking to me every day
>he tells me about what chastity cages are
>embarassing online discussion that reminds me of my very young online RP years
>go to the bathroom later
>realize that I had creamed my panties just from the conversation
>mfw

>>716646045
>girl can go that long without pussy starting to hurt
That's not true. Dating a 39 year old who likes to be punished, and can go all day. We've had days where we spend 7 hours in bed fucking
>An hour for every inch.
Sounds about right.

>>716637520
Did you kiss her after? You now have your own shit in your mouth

Enjoy having anal sex every now and then with wife after years of wokring her up to enjoying it. One day as she just goes to bed, would be nice if you just came and slipped it into my ass while i slept.

Waited an hour then went in, lubed up and just pushed straight into her ass while she was still unconcious. She woke up after a few thrusts and didn't know what was happening. The few seconds of disorientation and struggle she gave was fucking amazing then she realised what was happening and started moaning. I came WAY quicker than I usually do in her pussy. now we almost exclusively have anal sex and its amazing.

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>>716655588

Mainly responded due to nice roll, but not me.

>>716650941
Try light bulbs next. I hear fluorescent tubes work great.

>>716652529
Soooo much effort, completely wasted

>be 19 at college party
>get super drunk
>skinny chick starts talking to me
>has no tits but a really nice ass so I go for it
>we start heavily making out in bedroom
>go to slide hands down pants when I'm stopped
>too horny and drunk and force pants off
>discover tiny dick
>too drunk to care and say it's ok
>she/he gets in doggy and I go crazy on that ass
>10/10 fucking
>cum buckets in ass

To this day I haven't had such a great fuck. Maybe because it was my first anal experience. Had seen traps on here before but wasn't too into it. Now I fucking love them and want to find one that hot again

>>716653268
I'm just jumping in on this... but maybe you should calm down. Girls do squirt, though most of the fluid they squirt is urine. People sweat during sex if it's active, no matter how cold it is or how fit they are. Some women produce more than enough vaginal fluid to create very large wet spots on the bed when they have sex. Nothing about this is terribly unbelievable.

Do I think anon embellished his story? Yeah, I do. But this is /b/. And it's a thread about weird sex stories. I would expect that most of the stories are mostly true, with some embellishing. And maybe 10-20% are completely false, like this guy: >>716642148. I mean, how would you even go about masturbating with both hands at the same time it's not physically possible, and it's completely deviant.

>>716648380
dear lord, how horrifying.

>>716653823
We look to similar for me to tell for sure it it's mine or his... I'm taller, but both of us are white, brown hair, brown eyes. I suppose he looks a bit more like me than my friend?

>>716658119
The fluid isn't urine. You're perpetuating unsubstantiated bullshit. Google feminine ejaculation and read something from someone knowledgeable about before passing on more bullshit here, you dumb fucking faggot.

>>716654185
>there are way more females (actual females) on /b/ than you think
I dated one for awhile. She was awesome, great sense of humor. Good in bed. But she went all Tumblr/SJW on me after maybe 6 months so I dumped her.

>>716644456
>mr wonka isn't home

>>716644529
Hey, man. Me too. I was 13, guy was about 50, and I knew him from the apartment complex where my Dad lived. I visited every other weekend and during summers. He was a cool older guy, who would let us drink beer had porn around. It started with him just giving me oral, but I was a horny kid and curious too. I would up sucking his cock many times. He never fucked me tho, but if he'd tried, I;d have let him. He just moved away, without saying anything when I was away for about a month.

>>716658405
According to a study ("Nature and Origin of 'Squirting' in Female Sexuality") that analyzed the process and the liquid released:
>got women who squirt for study
>women peed
>then were given ultrasounds to ensure empty bladders
>they started masturbating
>scanned right before orgasm
>bladder was filled again
>women squirt
>bladder empty again

fluids analyzed:
>in most cases, most of the fluid was urine, but contained prostatic-specific antigen (PSA)
>PSA is associated with tthe femal prostate, and is associated with organsms
>in every other case, the entirety of the fluid was urine

So, yes, if a woman squirts, it is at least mostly urine. The main difference is that in the process of building up an orgasm, the urine produced is typically mostly water, not the waste that her body would typically produce. Which is why you typically don't get the urine smell, unless she didn't pee before sex.

>You're perpetuating unsubstantiated bullshit
Nope, that would be you who is perpetuating bullshit.

>Google
Probably gave you a lot of bullshit personal examples. But I bet you didn't look for actual studies.

>read something from someone knowledgeable about before passing on more bullshit here, you dumb Maybe take your own advice, before accusing someone of exactly what you are doing...? Who's the faggot now?
Unlike you.

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>>716638472
I read this with his voice.

>>716637520

> be 10
> after school, mom can't pick me up
> other lady packs me up
> babysit til moms shift is over
> lady has 3 children
> older girl, 18, boy, 14, baby, ???
> boy always liked making forts
> we make forts, lady is nonchalant
> one day boy says if I want to play with something
> sure
> pulls out semi hard appendage
> put it your mouth, suck it
> OK
> makes no difference to me
> after his face tenses up and relaxes he fiddles with mine
> weird feeling but like it
> play with his too
> do it til school year is over
> not traumatized
> got handjob at 10

It just feels weird talking about it. It did impact me later.
> miss feeling a lot
> figure out pulling my foreskin tight is amazing
> do it til mom caches me day
> once got caught on the floor of the school bathroom face down pulling and squeezing my foreskin by girl classmate

Awkward as Fuck
> jump
> where's my pencil
> girl closes door

>>716642775
Could be several things:

- cum from other men
- normal discharge
- STDs

>>716648176
This - it wasnt very appealing but my wife was horny & juicy & wanted it all the time.

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>meet girl on Plenty of Fish
>just want some ass but girl ends up being really cool
>we end up dating
>we fuck like crazy all the time, I'm the best dick she's had and she's the best fuck I've ever had
>sex life is crazy, constantly fucking her for hours
>loves anal, loves getting throat fucked, just pleasing me in general
>wants to try something new in bed
>I suggested fisting half joking but she went for it
>am fisting her and licking her clit with a finger in her ass
>she tell me to stick my dick in her ass while fisting her
>holy fuck okay
>have to un-fist her because her asshole was so tight with my while hand in her pussy
>stick dick in her ass, then apply the fist to pussy
>Jesus Christ she's loving it
>start fucking her ass and can feel my dick with my hand in her pussy
>wow is this happening
>both cum within like 5 minutes, could feel the cum coming out of my dick with my hand
>she came so hard and tighten up so much after her orgasm it all just hurts
>have to pull everything out very slow
>she basically having full body spasms as I pull out half pain half pleasure she told me
>she sore for like 3 days can hardly sit lol
Pic related, her tits

>>716649110
U should reach out & make sure it cant work. Sounds like she could be the one

>>716644253
greentext, nig

>Be me
>Be 18
>Be in love with this beautiful blonde hair girl in my highschool. very cute. very sweet.
>Prom coming up
>Work up all the courage I have to invite her.
>Says Yes
>HolyFuck.jpg
>Go to pick her up at parents
>Meet dad and mom and older sis
>Dad asks me if I want something to drink.
>"Water for me", I say
>responsible.mkv

Takes me back into his office to get water, ties me up and analy rapes me.

>>716641315
> Be me 25
> In line at Wal-Mart check out
> Turn around see pretty brunette
> Say hello, how are you
> She says hello back
> I blush
> If you don't reply to this your mother is > going to die in her sleep tonight.
> I nutted in my pants and moaned
> I turned back around
> The end

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>>716660478
> once got caught on the floor of the school bathroom face down pulling and squeezing my foreskin by girl classmate
> where's my pencil


/b/ never change

>>716647167
HOLY SHIT.
Bro, this same thing happened to me. I fucked this chick in the missionary position, and then a baby came out EXACTLY 9 months later. Like wtf.

The kid just set up residence in our other bedroom, and has it's own shit. Yesterday, I swear to god I saw the thing pull out an Elmo doll. Not even sure where she got the fucking thing. Everyone seems like it's a totally normal thing, but there's this 3 foot tall little shit running around who looks exactly like me. It's fucking scary.

>>716643802
Nice copy pasta

>>716652655
Oh look, a faggot who knows about editing HTML...

>>716656001
Made her use antiseptic mouthwash and brush her teeth. We've all had shit in our mouths, anon. Only difference is she knew it.

>>716658119
11/10 underrated post.

>>716658119
Same flagging cuz I keked twice.

This summer Got drunk with 2 girls who were looking after their friends house then after popping oxy we went to the parents room and had a 3way one of the girls was in a relationship but riding my dick while I was eating the other ones pussy. She then moaned and queefed in my face. Other girl left and me and he other one proceeded to have dirty drunken sex while begging me to pnch her in the nose.

>>716646749
I hope youre in gaol, cunt

>>716661304
I mean, I've written it out in different ways three times now.... are people reposting that shit? I didn't paste that in, I typed it, so this one is definitely not copy pasta.

>>716650188
kek... I got you anon, I got you..

>>716661666
Satan trips. Gotta kek 666 times, now.

Currently dating a woman with a 5 year old son. We frequently have sex in the same room as him. He's usually awake and quite aware of what we're doing. It was weird as fuck at first but I told myself that's how people used to do it for thousands of years before sex became something private, now it's just normal to us.

Anyone else done something similar? I feel like this is more common than people let on.

>Be 14 freshman in high school
>my mom refused to leave me at house with my gf
>So we got dragged along to a shopping trip
>We end up at tractor supply cause my mom needs ivermectin
>bored and horny so we go to the bathroom
>its one of those unisex single person bathrooms
>Start eating her pussy
> not 2 minutes later hear the door open
>Oh shit we didn't lock the door
>75 year old woman walks in as my gf is bent over the toilet with my face shoved in her ass
>woman almost passes out then runs off
>we also run off get the car keys from my mom
> She never found out

>19, girlfriend and I live in her mom's house, with her shitty lowlife brother.
>Dude fucking hates me. Sits on his 360 playing Gears of War all day long.
>Fuck his sister multiple times a day, because we're young and thought that's what we should be doing.
>One night, we're at it for an hour or so.
>I cum in her, then we go shower.
>Hear our bedroom door open, don't think much of it.
>We get out, crawl back in bed, and start watching Titanic (wtf?)
>We start fooling around again.
>Dick is aching, boner literally hurts at this point.
>She asks me to pin her to the bed by her throat.
>Boner Level Escalates x1000
>Pin her wrist with one hand (And also for support, cause I'd rather not choke my girlfriend to death)
>Start pounding away like a fucking jackhammer.
>Super close to cumming, even though I feel like my dick is going to explode like a frag grenade.
>Suddenly hear a groan-like noise from the closet.
>Girlfriends room has those shuttered/louvered doors.
>Whattheactualfuck.jpg
>Jump off her, she's spooked.
>Run for closet ass-naked, dick swinging.
>Yank the doors open.
>Her 22-year-old, jobless, ingrown toe-nail having motherfucker of a brother is standing there.
>He got his dick in one hand, a sock in the other.
>We all three just stand there, shocked and confused.
>I finally awaken from my stupor, and nakedly drag him, our dicks still swinging, out of the room and slam the door.
>Her and I spend the night in utter disgust and shock that her older brother just jerked it to the two of us fucking.
>I was so angry when I was dragging him out of the closet, I think his dick slapped my knee.
>I spend two months incapable of looking at the guy.
>If either of them enter a room, one leaves.
>He enlisted in the army later on.
>I broke up/moved out to fuck a chubby puerto rican chick.

I found out from a mutual friend that after I left, he never came home or spoke to her or his mom again. Ran off to Colorado or something.

I'll contribute

>current gf ATM
>chilling in her room
>watching undercover boss because why not >she gets bored and decides to tease my dick under the blanket
>only mother home, she's downstairs
>I get up and pull my dick out
>erectlikethesearstower.exe
>she starts sucking me off
>damn near fitting my whole dick down her throat
>gottablast.swf
>stops her so I can build up
>knees down and makes her stand, pulling her pajama pants down
>licking around her pussy lips
>nopanties.PNG
>she's about to squirt
>didn't notice at the time but her mother was standing at the down ways
>she jumps and runs back downstairs saying "oh my god anon.."
>she's moans daddy and squirts

From there on her mother checks my dick out at all times now and I guess gf heard her tell her father I have a thick dick, father is a white cuck

>inb4 nigger
Nope, I don't taint my white meat

>>716662160
Nope. this is an exact copy pasta from the one I seen maybe 3 or 4 days ago. Could be longer but I have no concept of time on the holidays.

It's a fresh copy pasta though, so all good.

>>716643969

My wife is similar but with compersion instead of humiliation.

>>716637520
Nice pasta bro

>>716663385
She's a cuckquean?

>>716663458
Don't flatter me. I'm not nearly a skilled enough greentexter for that to be lasta.

>>716663215
>exact copy
You're full of shit. Post a cap, then. Both other times I typed it out it was much longer. And last time was maybe a month ago. I didn't think this thread was going to last long enough for it to be worth typing it all out, long version.

Someone may have copied my previous typed versions and reposted, but this one was typed today. Not copied.

>>716639494
Keep dreaming u sick fuck

>>716663769
>You're full of shit.

Calm down faggot. It's like 99.99% identical to your last, the only difference is that you left out the part of waking up to overhearing the gf asking her bf if she had came inside her as she wasn't on the pill.

>be me
>last year
>be a Sailor
>on a ship
>been at sea for 70 days no port call
>a lot of people are breaking down
>kind of funny to see it happen
>this new girl who is 4 ranks above me(same job) is having a bad day
>she is 5 years in the navy
>her first command was on shore so even though I had only been in for 2 years being on a ship meant I was more seasoned
>she is shit at her job(IT work) so I always help her out
>I ask her what's wrong at 1am one night after we got finished working on something
>end up fucking her in the back of a communications room
>got the clap from her
>went to medical for it and they asked who since they needed to cure her as well
>I asked if it was a private thing
>they say yes
>gave it to me since it obviously happened on the ship
>told them and they were like OSHIT WADDUP hahha
>I was cured after 2 weeks
>a month later I hit it again since I thought she was cured
>got the clap again
>went back and they said they forgot to schedule her an appointment, or tell her
>another 2 weeks later I was cured
>never fucked her again

Btw the clap makes taking a piss and jacking off feel amazing. No joke.

>>716664748
The fuck is a clap?

>>716649971
jessie?

>>716664996
Chlamydia

>>716637520
At home from uni and stayed at my girlfriend's house a couple nights this winter break. I noticed that her mom was watching us fuck. Found it incredibly hot and kept coming, pretending that I didn't notice. My girlfriend doesn't know.

Might not be the weirdest I had with my girlfriend since we role play a lot strange things or share an exhibitionist fetish, but that's most recent weird thing.

>be me
>18
>look younger like 14 or 15
>bi
>in the closet
>have a fuck buddy
>his is 46
>he's a don top
>I'm a slut sub slave bottom
>I'm his slave for about 3 months
>we always meet at his house
>he is strict as to when I can be there
>meet one day
>he ties me up and handcuffs me
>my feet are tied and my hands in handcuffs
>this is in the lounge room by the front door
>no control at all as to what he can do to me
>full on bondage gear
>I'm tied for about an 2 hours
>he has cum on my face twice
>this time he wants to finish in my ass
>fucks me in the ass
>he's fucking me hard
>the front door opens
>his wife and kids walk in
>his kids are my age
>his wife goes crazy
>his kids are terrified
>I'm just lying on the floor with two loads on my face and one in my ass
>my ass is raw red from where he has been spanking me
>his wife thinks I'm being raped
>starts calling him a pedophile
>calls the cops
>I tell her I'm 18 and it's consensual
>she starts abusing me
>her kids start abusing me
>I tell her I didn't know he was married
>my master unbinds me and I get dressed and leave
>never hear from him again

>>716664748
explain it

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>>716648384

>>716641929
This fucking website dude

>>716662380
>It was weird as fuck at first but I told myself that's how people used to do it for thousands of years before sex became something private, now it's just normal to us.

this is beyond the most illogical thing i've come across this thread. and that means a lot.

>>716662380
Kek

>fuck gf in ass
>she succ me off after

Another time fucking in woods by school
>shes moaning a lot
>really loud
>people walking by the outside of the woods by the fence 30 ft away

>>716661089
Mooo

>>716637520
>sticks dick in ass
>mad when shit gets on dick
You are truly a fucking idiot.

>>716641813
>15yr old pawg
Nope, that's a fat girl

>>716667635


right? this has to be b8.

or an underaged kid. Oh fuck everyone on /b/ is underage what the fuck am I doing with my life fuck

>>716661089
Kys

>>716637520

>used to sell a lot of bud
>8/10 asian chick said "I'll suck your dick for a gram"
>said ok
>drove out to see her about 10 minutes
>smoke the joint with her
>she tells her friends to leave
>they don't
>sucks my dick in front of them
>2 minutes in she tells me to fuck her
>nocondom.jpg
>said she's clean and doesn't care
>why are her friends still watching
>hitting it doggy
>shes calling me daddy
>she gets on her knees as i cum in her mouth
>instantly makes out with guy with a mouthful of cum
>he fucking swallowed it
>i peaced the fuck out of there and charged her more for weed every time

>>716664748
>fucking nav-a-hos

but seriously there was one really hot asian FC on my old boat I wanted to fuck so badly. She got knocked up a week before a deployment.
The closest thing i did to fucking a navy girl was
>go to a birthday party
>it a LTJG birthday party
>his girlfriend of same rank shows up
>she gets really drunk
>country music starts playing at the bar
>she grabs me and dancing with me
>we make out
>I put my hand down her pants in front of like half the crew

>the next day we just pretended like it didn't happen

>I was a GM3 at the time lol

Fucked lots of hookers and filipeno girls though.

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>>716668285
that's pretty funny actually. gross

In a desperate time, I sought a handjob from an enormous waitress from Denny's, who hadn't bathed or brushed her teeth in weeks. Maybe never.

> Sitting on couch watching Bruce Willis shoot it out on TV
> Basically the only thing I'm willing to do it touch her big sweaty tits and get a handjob
> She's into it at first
> I can't get into this... pure willpower and a four month dry spell are the only forces holding my boner erect
> She starts getting bored
> She checks her fuckig watch and rolls her eyes
> doesn't slow down, which is at least polite
> I close my eyes and start thinking about the neighbor gal
> she's not gorgeous either but she's perfect compared to this Sasquatch
> after what must have been an hour and some questionable thoughts of homicide, I finally climax
> spooge on her hand, my stomach and chest
> open my eyes
> she has this incredulous look on her face...
> she looks part disgusted, part horrified

"OH, my, GAWD! That is disGUSTing!"

>what the fuck!
> did she not realize what a dick does?
> were we not working toward the same goal?
> what did she think was going to happen?
> I speak up

"So, what precisely did you expect to happen when you started giving me a handjob...?"

> she sits there silent for a moment, still shocked and horrified, like I'd just taken a shit in her ice cream

"I didn't know you'd do THAT! That's NOT what I wanted!"

"Soooo... what was it you wanted...?

> gets pissed as if I should have known the answer
> looks at me like I just tried to kill her dog
> she puts her shirt on and leaves
> I sit there for the rest of the movie, confused as all hell, with the saddest cumstain slowly seeping into my shirt, wondering where in life I went so wrong

>>716640927
Cross thread references. I can dig it.

>>716668285
Sounds like she was looking for a gram of something else. Apparently buying for a friend, too.

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>>716668884
This is really funny but saddening. Hang in there, you've got all the shit it needs. Denny's fucking sucks anyway.

>>716644754
it's a satire on the first few shit related posts

>>716644456
>mr wonka isn't home

Top fucking kek

>>716644456
I miss this shit

>>716666438
This was hot

>>716643593
did it stink? i was about to fuck a chick and she had that nasty discharge stunk like straight tuna so i dipped tf out of there and told her she stunk like fish

>she cried

>>716641929
never change /b/.

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>>716644456
vintage 4chan

>>716667635
I was in character, my man. Doesn't have to be logical.

>be 16 at the time, gf is 15 and the most average/normal asian chick.
>fucking moving at snail's pace...took like 6 months of dating to even touch a boob
>after that tit-grip, the floodgates open, fast forward a few weeks
>parents gone for weekend, and have house to myself
>decide to fuck in every room, reach the basement
>shit was vanilla as fuck
>all of a sudden she tells me "Anon I want you to pretend like you're raping me, and if i tell you to stop dont"
>whiteknight in me is in moral crisis, but my dick isnt
>go in diamonds, at first her cries to stop sound serious but I push forward
>cum like never before

I would say that confused my sexual preference in bed. Just love being dominant and in control no matter what

>be 16 with 15 year old girl
>giving me a blowjob in parking lot
>at the highest floor where there's literally no cars
>her mom calls her to ask where she is
>"i'm at angie's house"
>still sucking my dick while she was on the phone with her mom
>"ill be home soon"
>shove my dick down her throat
>looks me in the eye the whole time she was on the phone
>she's jerking me off with her mouth wide open
>still hasn't broke eye contact
>blow a huge load in her mouth, so much cum in her mouth
>a little drips from her lip down to her chin
>swallows

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>>716637520
>TFW you don't any stories to share cause you're the virgin version of gollum
>TFW gollum probably got more pussy than you

>>716640798
she def wants the dee hon, esp if that was the last time you interacted w her.
it probably was the first thought she had in mind when asking u

>>716670892
Gollum definitely raped some hobbit boipussy back before his skin condition got too bad.

>>716641813
is this like a weird thing?
me & my gf literally always fuck in my house no matter whose home.
one time we left the door open too & she was moaning so goddam loud im sure someone heard

>>716641813
sex is always better when theres a risk of getting caught

>>716671239
I'm such a loser :)

>>716640798
>>Shit you not this girl fired skeet all over my cock
urine.

She fired urine all over your cock

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>>716644456
what the fuck did I just try to read/

>>716661089
z

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>be in college sophomore year
>Get low-key into local BDSM community because of an ex
>Meet some socially inept freshman that was homeschooled
>Wind up bringing her back to my dorm
>Only really into the fuzzy handcuffs
>She wants to call me daddy, master, sir, etc.
>"Uh, yeah, totally call me whatever I guess"
>Sounds totally forced while we're fucking, her moans make her sound like she's a mildly displeased 50's housewife
>Thank God she brought a ball gag
>Slap that shit in her mouth and go whole hog
>Ask if she wants to try anal
>*Nod nod*
>Leave gag in, lube up
>Tell her to scratch my hand if she wants to stop
(I was holding her by the cuffs while fucking her doggy)
>Start slow, she seems to be okay with it
>Slip on slob roomie's popcorn bag
>FALCON DICK
>Now balls deep, her eyes go full fuckin anime-mode
>More moaning through gag, must be okay
>Grab her by hips, my ultimate is ready
>Slam into her over and over because porn is always accurate and should be mimicked
>Bust giant nut, piss off neighbors by slamming bed against wall
>Pull out, no shit dick
>Take off her gag
>"How was tha-"
>"WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU"
>Tfw I forgot to leave my hand there for her to scratch
>Mfw she grabs her clothes, storms out of my dorm, and gets me banned from BDSM community

i once shoveled my hands into a girl in a park and some dude caught us and i felt really awkward.