Secrets thread. If you're on /b/ on X-mas eve, you got

>>716433291
>oh good
>this autism again

My moms car fongerd me in my friend

I'm taking a massive shit right now. Friends just came over for dinner and finally got to start drinking, and immediately have diarrhea.

>>716433372

confess or get the fuck out faggot

>>716433291

forced to go to church with wife and in-laws tonight.

will hate every fucking second of it.

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>>716433291
I have a super secret secret. Ops a faggot

>>716433417
Fuck that's the worst. Don't force farts and you'll "mind over matter" it

>>716433819
Normally you're right but this was gonna come out whether I clenched or not.

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>>716433291
Regularly fill YLYL threads with banana

>>716433955
You sick bastard.

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>>716433955

>>716433291

just sat down to wrap presents and realized I have some really shitty presents and not enough of them.

>>716433291
Fucked my best friend's little sister. Shit was cash, especially since she had graduation in two days' time.

I had a cross-dressing fetish in high school and would wear my mom's underwear.

>>716434125
Green text?

I fucked my cousin once a long time ago, and I think she got traumatised by it. But lately she has been staring at me like she wants to fuck me, her mother visits my house everyday. And deep inside myself I am silently laughing.

>>716434360
Green teeeext

There is a UFO that appears outside of my window every couple of days. But it's so far away that if I took a picture of it with my crappy phone it would just look like a regular star.

It's sitting much lower on the horizon line than all the other stars. It sits in the sky in the same spot for hours. But much further up in the sky than any man made structure could reach. And if I look at it, it looks like it's twinkling and flashing these red and blue colors over and over very quickly.

Not even kidding or trolling. Idk what it is.

>>716433291
I can't get over my ex, it's been 10 years. I have new fiancé & a new life but think of her every second. I have no interest in anything without her.

>>716434294
Not really a green text-worthy tale. Long story short, she hit on me and flirted with me to get back at her parents for taking her car away cause she got a ticket for speeding. Me, being horny and wanting to fulfill a "what if" moment, kissed her and later, fucked her in my car and her room. We fucked a lot for a period of two weeks, and we did it everywhere: her room, her living room floor, living room couch, her parents' bed, even gave me a bj on her bro's (my best friend) bed. She was horny and I was only too willing to scratch her itch.

>>716434360

how old were each of you the first time you fucked?

how old are you now?

>>716434772
Preparing green text gimme a min

Would be nice if I could keep my mind off her for a while until she either says something or that the feelings fade.

But people I know constantly mention her, so that ain't happening

>>716434360
>This one time, YEARS ago, when I was about 16 and she was 14
>Her mother came to visit
>Known her for all her life
>She started wearing tight ass jeans, she has an ass that would rival any out here
>I'm in my room (room's pretty big)
>she always comes to my room to play or something, or to just hang out
>This one time she had an album with her
>Pictures of me n her from like when we were toddlers
>she tells me she wants to flip through them with me
>we jump on my couch and start flipping through it
>each second that passes we get closer to each other
>we start cuddling
>I put my hand on her lap
>she enjoys it but doesn't know what to do
>kind of in shock
>tell her i find her sexy
>run my hand up to her no-no zone
>start rubbing
>she moans
>things escalate quickly
>before I know it, my dick is out
>she doesn't really know what to do
>tell her it's alright
>she grabs my dick and starts stroking, but that shit was so amateurish
>still tho
>i unbutton her pants, tell her to stand up and take it off
>she takes it off
>she sits on my lap and starts riding me
>she's virgin, so it hurts for her
>but the longer it goes on the more she enjoyed
>going at it for like 2 mins
>her mom calls, she gets dressed like hell and then leaves without saying a word

I am sitting here alone because I didn't want to spend the money to go home for Christmas and see my family, so I made up a lie about how I can't see them because of work.

By family, I mean my cousin who is much older is kind of like a mom to me and my uncle who is more like a cool grandpa. Anyway, they're both upset and I'm kind of starting to feel bad for being so thoughtless.

There's also my brother back home, but throughout our whole lives we've barely even spoken to each other. We don't necessarily have ill will towards each other, at least I don't against him, and he doesn't express ill will towards me. We really just don't care about each other as much as people say siblings should.

My mother and father are still alive. Although, I do despise them both. I have fantasies about beating my father to death with my bare fists. I fantasize about raping my mother then beating her senseless, but not killing her.

I wasn't really abused as a child, though. Just neglected really.

>>716435292
>i am 20 now going on 21
>she's 18
>throughout the years, i can see she really tried her best to pretend like it never happened
>I was kind of chubby in my early teen years but now I train a lot so i have a good physique
>one time she entered my room while I was wearing no shirt and idk ever since then she kind of always gives me this look like she wants to rail the fuck out of me.

>>716433955
but why

>>716433788
edge

>>716435697

its obviously important if he does it regularly

>>716435493

you remind me of my best friend. Same kind of personality and view on life, same relationship with parents, same relationship with brother.

and my best friend is a sad sack of shit so... i can only imagine how you feel.

>>716435697
Because I really really like that image

>>716433291
I raped my younger self when I went back to the past/ It just felt soo good.

>>716434753
Pics or it didn't happen.

>>716433388

My full house full housed me in the back of my full house is a miller boyett production and you just lost the game.

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>>716436523

>>716436523

yeah me too. hair brush handle. dogs dick. I raped myself with all kinds of stuff when I was young, horny as fuck and no real sex in sight.

She's perfect.

Cute, funny, we share all the same interests. She's always been super supportive of me, and I of her when she needed it.

We make time for each other, even though we are both super busy. Every time we do hang, it's a blast.

The only reason she's not my girlfriend is because her worthless cunt of a boyfriend asked her out one week before I met her.

She even said she would have been dating me if she hadn't met him. Go ahead and call me whatever you want. The only thing I hate more than this would be to hurt her. God... I hate that she's happy with him.

>>716434641

Honestly, it's probably a planet.

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>>716435549
meh at least you aren't siblings :D

>>716434666

Awwwwww, Satan is still in love...

>>716434641
point google sky map at it. It's probably saturn.

I have to go to dinner at my father's friend's house tomorrow. His father's friend is really annoying, and he's being really annoying about how I should think of things to talk about like I'm going in for a fucking job interview, because he thinks of me as a child. I hope next year I can just go "oh yeah, it's Christmas" and move on.

>>716437061
My father's friend is really annoying*

>>716434666

nice trips devilscum

but you should really contact your ex and attempt to get closure, or is that impossible?

>>716433291
I walked into my dealers home the other day and took out 13.5 grams and wrote him a note and put money under his sofachair.
I told him I was on my way and he said "yeah im not home but david is" and I went inside and david was not there.
waited for a good while and then decided to do what I did.
I payed for everything I took but now he is pissed.

I'm going to probably just hand him back the stuff but I wont do it without the money of course...
In any case, how retarded was what I did?
This dealer is not a sketchy guy btw.

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>>716436889

> Survey the area while driving home from work every day.
> Never stop. Never stare. But always be learning her routine. Find out when the bus picks her up and drops her off.
> Find local phone boxes in the area.
> Start beige boxing them late at night/early in the morning when nobody is awake, to find out which line matches the number found in the white pages that matches her address.
> Consistently beige box that number at that box to learn family's plans.
> Find out when she will be home by herself.
> Since it's rural area, neighbors too far away to see/notice anything.
> Knock on door with clipboard and pen and fake census worker id.
> Shoddy fabrication, but good enough to fool a 10yo.
> Ask to speak to her parents. She should know better than to say they aren't home, but she's ten. Stay outside, calm, patient.
> Say, "That's okay. Can you call them for me?"
> She goes inside. She comes back. Funny... The phone doesn't seem to be working.

>>716436770

if shes happy with him... then obviously youre not good enough. She would have just settled with you but this dude sounds like prime rib, sorry mate

>>716437260

> Well how 'bout that! Bridged terminals on the phone box down the road saw to that.
> "May I come in? I would like to ask you some questions."
> Friendly. Polite. Clearly if any harm had been meant, would have only had to force way in as soon as she said parents weren't home.
> Be welcomed inside.
> Ask mundane questions about size of family, parents' jobs, school.
> Dad's working on a fix for y2k? How cool!
> Ask about likes, etc. Oh, she has an n64? Has that superman game but doesn't really like it. Ah, too bad.
> Wants a dog, but parents say no? Sorry to hear that.
> "You know, I live just down the road and my dog just had puppies last week. My wife wants to give them away. I know your parents said you can't have one, but would you like to see mine before they are gone?"
> Her face lights up. Of course she would!
> Trust has been gained.

> She gets in the car willingly.
> Drive away.
> It isn't until the car pulls into the "driveway" that she seems confused, suspicious.
> It's actually just a fire trail in the backwoods. She was so busy bobbing her head in tune to N'Sync on Q94 that she didn't get suspicious until it was too late.
> Now comes the knockout punch.
> Her lip is bleeding and she's already unconscious.

> You know what comes next. The brand new expensive digital camcorder will preserve this memory for years to come.
> Her soft pink nipples. Her hairless bug.
> Plow her virgin girlhood. Get it all on tape.

>>716437354

> When she starts to wake, another fist to the face. Finally when finished, just squeeze her little throat until she stops breathing.
> Her breath and heart still and silent, the thrill and adrenaline clouding all else, take a deep breath and calm down. Allow heart rate to slow.

> Drive to the abandoned house. Nobody is around. Prince George county is pretty isolated. The old well is uncovered. Just drop her in.

> No mess. No body to be found.

> A little blood from her girlhood on the blanket and plastic sheet. Those go with her.

> A little blood on the knuckles and the passenger seat.
> Can't take any chances.
> A month later the car is "stolen" and found burned up a few miles away. (Walking home at 3AM is no fun.)
> Didn't want to wait so long, but any sooner while missing girl is on police's radar seems a little too risky.

> A few years later, they tear down that house. They build a storage shed there. The well gets a big blue plastic cap on it.

> This was over a decade and a half ago.
> To this day, nobody knows.

> Except /b/

> Nobody will believe it. Nobody will even try to find out anything else.

>>716433788
You poor bastard. I'm sorry. Hopefully your wife is worth that kind of shit.

>>716437179
If you paid him wtf is the problem? He must be skimping people so he's pissed you took the right amount and now he won't make what he usually makes. You're a dumbass, but so is he

>>716437404

nice roleplay faggot

>>716434753
Sounds like good pussy. Are you planning on keeping at it or backing off to play it safe?

>>716437531

:3

>>716437354
>bobbing her head in tune to N'Sync on Q94

Q94 could refer to:

CHIQ. Q94 in Winnipeg, Manitoba
WRVQ, Q94 in Richmond, Virginia
WBXQ, Q94 in Altoona, Pennsylvania
KQXY, Q94 in Beaumont, Texas

>>716437422
Yeah I know I dont feel there is a problem...
And I payed him more than what I usually do, not alot but a little bit cause I kinda went behind his back.
But he sent me a message saying "you have to pay alot more... like what the actual fuck?"
which is fucking BS...

>>716437609
Don't forget Prince George county

>>716437677
Legit makes no sense. Maybe he's just mad you took it yourself. Things don't really add up here

>>716434666
I'm sorry to hear that, Satan.

Hopefully your current girl is hot at hell.

>>716437767
Or it's better weed than usual so he was gonna charge you more

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>>716433291
I wanna fuck my co-worker, I feel like she knows this but I'll see if she's doing anything on new years. Also I wanna fuck her client she's hot too

>>716434165
Just in high school? Have you since grown out of the fetish?

>>716433788
Divorce her you little nigger faggot

>>716437815
yeah that might be it, I said so in the note that if it was better weed he just had to send me a message, but I payed in the mindset that it was better than usual weed.
Normal price for this weed is around 175
but I bought 13.5g grams
Last time I bought 24 for 3200
and this time I thought 13.5 for 2000 would be paying quite a bit...

>>716435493
If it makes you feel any better, I'm 2000 miles away from my family.
My mother is a Jesus freak/oversized child, and my dad really has no interest in me- so I guess I kind of prefer it that way. Still, it would be nice to have a family. I think about it a lot.

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I'm a hardcore Steins;Gate fan, so many times I would even try to escape reality with lucid dreaming, I would be in the Akihabara where I would often make inventions with Okabe in the LAB and help Mayurii with her costumes, but one day as I was talking to Mayurii, we went to the kitchen or a private talk. She immediately said, "You know you could live with us forever.." I gave her a confused look and she continued, "We understand that you live in Alpha worldline and you REALLY wish to live here". I then said "How..How did you know?" She then giggled and said "Because we've been watching you, silly!"
This was a dream come true and I almost cried right there. She then said, "I talked with Daru and he agreed that you would be PERFECT for the LAB, you just have to do...one thing". She then held my hand and looked deep into my eyes and said "...You have to kill yourself for the transfer to work correctly." I then gave her some questions, "How long do I have before the deal expires?" She then said "Daru said 3 months.." I added by saying "What's the most painless way?..." She giggled again, "Suicide will require pain buuut...if you want it quick...Get a gun and a nice shot to the head works.
I then agreed and she gave me a kiss on the forehead, "I know this will be tough but once it's over and done, you'll get to live here!" I then woke up and this was last week and i purchased a gun. I might actually kill myself because that dream just felt too real to be fake and my life isn't doing so grand.

>>716437688
sounds like richmond to me

Just got paid $160 by a fat black man with a micropenis to suck my cock so I'd have enough money to make rent.

>>716437677


easy solution

take a certain amount for yourself and return the rest to him and demand money back.

Maybe you can get an eighth out of it idk

>>716438216

dope,

how'd this arrangement go down

>>716438328
eh...
I' have already smoked on it, like 0.4
I'll return everything that's left and demand full refund back, will probably lose him as dealer but w/e
If the ppl he lives with say I left less money than I did I'm just gonna keep the weed and walk out, its gonna really suck though If I have to do that.
Some of them are pretty... big, urkh.
Haven't been in a fight in a long time and I'm not prepared for that.
A fight is always a real bad ending...

>>716433291


used to finger my cousins pussy and ass when she was 11 and i was 12/13 idk. I would touch my 7 year old cousin as well. They dont remember any of it i hope, we just had christmas dinner together and we are all like best friends now

>>716438731

youre like me, im a pussy too im smol and cant fight for shit

>>716438765

you remember it

>just sayin

>>716438731
>>716438831

both our replies btw were 31, i think something special is happening between us

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I fisted a horse when I was 15- 16.

>>716438901

awesome

>>716438831
I ain't a pussy, It's just that im small.
If I get in a fight I don't fight to win, I fight to survive because im so fragile and would literaly break from anything.
I'm going to bring a switchblade and keep a stance during the entire evening, always standing and with my back clear.
If they get uppity I'll bring up the knife and leave...
only problem is that if they call me on it I have to hurt them or get hurt.

I am on /b/ and I'm 43.

>>716434641
if you're looking in the southwest it's probably saturn

>>716438915
the christmas spirit

>>716436770
CUCK

>>716436770
Haha you are making à Big mistake bro
She gonna make you eat shit

>>716435697
>>716436012
I'm filling a YLYL with 'nana as we speak

>>716434641
>>716436829
>>716436931
>>716439150
don't believe these shills

I fucked this white dude's gf immediately after they broke up.( I'm black )

We made an arrangement to become exclusive friends with benefits (sex until we find other people). She has a birth control implant so I'm fucking her raw free of STDs.

However, signs point to her fucking one of her friends and I think it's hot,

>>716438204
do it on live stream

And I blamed it on the dog!

>>716433291
One secret: while at a party in college, it was getting late people were wasted or trying to go to bed. I went into a room in the frat house and no one was there, massive bag of weed and a small bag of coke on the table. I figure, fuck it, everyone who lived in the frat was downstairs so I grab both. In pocket, trying not to let the bulge show. get downstairs, grab jacket put the drugs in, then leave. got easily over $100 worth of pot and probably equal in coke, not too knowledgeable about coke prices tho.

No secret. Just a single person living alone with no relatives or freinds around

>>716433291
I like to crossdress, no one knows but you all. I sometimes like to get grindr and see how many guys would want to fuck me, but never met up with them, always chicken out. I own a small-mid size collection of lingerie and womens clothing now and its something I often do, usually only at night.

>>716441810
Have you got kik ?

>>716437771
so underrated

>>716433291
I shared nudes of my ex on 4chan, she doesn't know, no one knows.

I plan to kill all my friends masked serial killer style.

>>716441928
yeah username: praisethesun777

Im 20yo girl just got stoned with my friend in the forest. Nice ending of all the all the hurrying cleaning baking and shit. Get high, masturbate, /b/ and go to bed = good Christmas!

>>716442435
tits or GTFO

>>716433291
When I was younger I was on Imgur and all these girls started to post their faces on Christmas day. Idk why. It all got to front page.

I downloaded a fuckton of those photos and held a fap-hunger games thing were I would fap for HOURS at each picture, saying what I would do to them, what kind of person they probably are, etc. after going through ALL OF THEM, I would decide which one was the ugliest and then finish to them. They would then be eliminated for the next round.

I still have a handful of them, not sure why I did it or what the fuck I got out of it. It's just...weird? I guess.

>>716442304
You know they log the post and IP and shit. If she found out I'm sure someone or orthernli can track you down and sue.

>>716442759
yup, I know

>>716442759
>orthernli
wtf is that?

>>716433291
I hate niggers but secretly like hip hop music.

>>716442991
that's actually fucking funny

>>716435697
Just filled a YLYL to image limit. Probably my finest work to date. 80% of the thread was banana. In my minds eye, /b/ no longer hgas an image limit. It has a banana limit.

>>716443462
You bitch I was just reading that thread

>>716437354
>>716437404

The only thing that matches this is the disappearance of Yuan Wang. She disappeared in 1998, last seen getting off of a bus. She would have been 12 at the time. Her town also sits on the line of Prince George County, MD, and is within enough distance of Richmond to listen to q94.

>>716433291
Im wearing a diaper n a pair of babyish footy pajamas to bed tonight because im an abdl and footy pajamas go with christmas.

I'm still in love with my ex who I friendzoned 4 years ago.
She stopped talking to me since then.

>>716443764
wet it and post pics

>>716444345
But i dont need to go and i dont post pics on /b/. A rule i learned the hard way

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>Be me..13 year old horn dog
>12 year old cousin used to stay all night
>she would pretend to be asleep and let me feel her up
>Her whole family come over to spend the weekend.
>wait till everyone is asleep. sneak into the extra bedroom.
>Kneel down by her bed, its dark but can make out her shape under the blankets
>slide hand into panties and surprised by how mairy she is.
>oh well, play with her pussy for a while.
>she squirms and moans, still seems asleep.
>Move up to her small tits. WTF? Tits are huge.
>realize this is not my cousin but is my Aunt.
>Freak out and sneak back to my room
>Spend the next 20 years jacking off to thoughts of my Aunt.

Nobody except my coworker knows I've relapsed on opioids. They all think I've been sober for 8 minutes months

>>716444803
You'll quickly ruin that job too, like all the rest.

>>716437609
Q94 how many years ago? Stations change formats all the time.

>>716443624
>The only thing that matches this is the disappearance of Yuan Wang. She disappeared in 1998, last seen getting off of a bus. She would have been 12 at the time. Her town also sits on the line of Prince George County, MD, and is within enough distance of Richmond to listen to q94.

Now all you have to do is report it and say his truck was stolen 3 weeks after she went missing.

Bam. In jail.

>>716444803
Been at it for 3 years and am a manager Lmao

>>716445619
Q84 was clearly bogus and supplied to throw anyone off the trail. That was the only actual bit of information someone could use to begin investigating.

I have lots of friends who think I am the cats ass, but I secretly hate them all.

>>716435292
Pics of her please /b/rother?

I made up some shit about being busy to get out of visiting my family, because I couldn't care less about them, and figured seeing them would be a waste of time. I don't dislike them, I'm just not interested.

Also, I occasionally jerk it while thinking about my cousin.

>>716433291
'If you're on /b/ on X-mas eve, you got 'em. Confess yours.' - This is a fair point.

>Be 24, on the surface very confident and good looking.
>Things come easy to me in life, I enjoy the majority of time I have.
>However nothing satisfies me
>People would kill for the life I have yet I just cant be fucked with it and want to end it.
>Join the 27 club

Merry xmas people

Think I have porn addiction cause I can get up for my gf no bother she's hot and funny but can't feel anything when we fuck or she blows me

>>716433291
I'm spending Christmas alone. I have no friends whatsoever and I've been in my state a year now.

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Goin to jail next year. Probably just gonna kill myself instead

>>716448395
For what

>>716433372
Why so bitter?

>>716433788
There are lots of hot girls at church. I would spend a lot of time eyeing them

>>716448465
Possession of drugs and stolen property

>>716448817
What's the jail time

My biggest secret? I poop on toliets.

I can't stand my wife any longer. Anyone in the midwest wanna blackmail her or get her drunk and fuck her for me so I can divorce her?

I jerk off with Fluffy threads

>>716443462
lol you're probably like a really cool guy

>>716433291
I wasn't born a man

Sometimes my balls itch so badly I need to go to a private bathroom and scratch with a comb, which often isn't my own. My sack looks normal but I'm too embarrassed to go to a dermatologist.

>>716434666
You can always kill someone

>>716450716
Could be a histamine reaction. Try taking Zyrtec daily.

>>716438204
If you kill yourself over a dream about anime I want you to know that I personally think your a fucking idiot.

>>716436770

>I hate that she's happy with him

This is too real

Had a dream that this girl had a dick
Now I can't stop fucking thinking about it

>>716433955
Kys

>>716435549
Then let her rail you fag

I told everyone I voted for trump when really I didnt even vote at all

sometimes i bump threads

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taylor swift stalked me again tonight. she isn't specified where she is in the one flimsy report that she was at a christmas party. i saw her ass again.

>>716453212
Why is Taylor Swift stalking you, anon?

>>716450716
Also moisturizer everyday dude

>>716438216
Did you at least enjoy it, anon?

I let my 8yo nephew shower with me and my gf earlier tonight

i am santa claus

>>716453466
I use regular lotion but you think something else might work better?

>>716451174
Fortunately I just got on one for other allergies. Hopefully that'll help... You think it's an allergy?

>>716454416
try something with cortisone

bmppp

>>716454529
Thanks bromigo

>>716454279
Can you give me a small christmas miracle? Help me improve myself or be happy or less materialistic? Failing that can you at least give me one of the items

i played around sexually with a 14-yr-old boy

>>716439968

International Jewish Conspiracy Representative here:
Yeah.... You got us. We have a satellite in that region of the sky. We put it there with help from our friends in the Illuminati, the Freemasons, and the Reptilians.
Look, since we're all buds here, I'll let you in on a little secret:
Aluminum. Foil.
That's right. Full coverage of the cranium in aluminum foil will protect you from the satellite's bozo rays.
You're welcome. :-)

>>716433291
I'm a faggot who knows nothing about guns but goes to /k/ anyway.

>>716443624

RVAfag here.

Prince George's County MD =/= Prince George County VA
Q94 has been top 40 format for at least since the 80s, and it's in Richmond. Not likely it would reach all the way up to MD, but probably would reach down to Prince George VA.
Just some intel to help clarify.

>>716433291
When I was 14, I fooled around with a 12 year old boy in my Boy Scout troop.

>>716456081
im kinda busy right now

>>716444082

Why'd you friendzone her?

>>716439065
sad

>>716446088

Q94 is a Richmond, VA top 40 station and has been for years. It would line up with Prince George, VA.
Might be something to this.

>>716450552

Do you still like things in your bonus hole?
Also, what's your tit situation?

>>716433291
I raped my ex about 3 years after we broke up, and cheated on my current gf at the time to do it
>Be 5 years ago
>Be alcoholic
>Drink 5th of vodka
>In gf's car, and we get in an argument
>Tell her to fuck herself, and get out of the car
>Now stuck in the middle of the city 20 miles from house
>Wandering around wasted I get a phone call
>It's my ex (we just recently started talking again trying to be friends)
>She asks me to buy her, and he friend alcohol (they are only 19 I'm 22)
>Agree,because fuckitwhynot.jpg
>We buy booze, and I ask if I can drink it with them
>We go to ex's parents house (they are out of town)
>End of night I'm super wasted
>Tell ex I am sleeping her in bed tonight
>Before we go to bed I start making out with her
>Put hand down her pants
>She stopsme saying she has a bf
>Raging boner
>Tell her she should just fuck me anyway, because if I wanted to I could just take off her pants, and have my way with her. She physically couldn't stop me
>She says no, and to stop it multiple times.
>I do it anyway
>Cum on her stomach
>Roll over, and pass out
>Take bus home in the morning
>Angry message couple weeks later from ex about how much of an ass I am, and how she couldn't believe I did that
>Basically tell her to fuck off, and nobody would believe her if she told them
>Nobody believed her
>Gf never even knew it happened

By the way I don't drink anymore for a reason. Some people really shouldn't touch that stuff.

>>716457856

Good thing it was the alcohol and you're not to blame!

>>716457036
http://www.missingkids.org/poster/NCMC/954770/1/screen

Other than that nothing really matches up with that time period and area unless they found the body

>>716458139
I don't do shit like that when I'm sober.
Drunk me is diabolical.
I'm actually a really nice guy. That's why nobody believed I raped her. None of our mutual friends could even fathom I would do anything like that.

>>716449391
what part?

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>>716433291
I still have feelings for her even though it'll never work

I can stanly try to get more gfs and hook ups just so I could look better to my ex even though I haven't talked to her since I broke up with her and I really never want to be with her ever again

I actually thought the Force Awkens was terrible but I tell my star wars loving friends otherwise

>>716458723
I should add confession one and two are not about the same persn

lusted after the teenage sluts and their MILFy mom at Christmas service tonight.

During the "Peace be with you" dad looked at me like "you want to do them, don't you? but yeah, OK, let's do the church "Peace" thing". He kind of had an Ari Gold thing going.

I wanna fuck my friends fiance

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the only ''people'' i've been attracted to for the past 6 years are video game characters even though irl girls have given me obvious chances.

>inb4 gay
I have no judgments towards them and would even be glad if that was the answer to my issues but im not into guys.

Ever since my girl left me I've been an absolute wreck. I don't want anyone to know why I'm sad all the time so I just brush it off but it's really ruining me.

>>716459943
You're not gay, you're autistic.

>>716460439
i've gone to therapist, they said im not. also aren't they smart? im too dumb to be autistic.

>>716449391
Pics and amount of money offered?

everyone must be in bed waiting for santa to come

I've done all my boyfriends Christmas shopping for him out of my own pocket then delivered to his house an hour away. That asshole fall asleep without even sending a Merry Christmas or goodnight text!

>>716433291
Rich man drug!

>>716452926
Haha. Good job. Hey at least he won

>>716442991
The eternal trade off: have cake, or eat cake.

>>716450117
Bump bump bump it up. Now do a line for me. That's what I'm doing. Sadly I'm doing it alone.

Finally started dating someone after being two years single and already want out.

>What is wrong with me?

>>716462108
Nothing wrong with that. You just picked the wrong person. Let them go before it's too late and find someone else. You did it once you can do t again

When I was 17 I took the v of my sister's 11yo best friend, were also fuck buddies for a while

i miss you :(

>>716462283
Did anyone ever find out? How old are you now?

>>716462308
I miss you more

>>716462308
i miss me too thanks

I'm taking sleeping medication I don't need to fall asleep and getting drunk.

I hate christmas because of my shit childhood. I am about 2000 miles away from my only family aka my Mom. Fuck christmas its depressing, hope you /b/ros have a good one though if I cant.

>>716462333
I dont know if anyone else ever knew i took her v, but my sis found out we were fucking a couple months after our 1st time, we usually fucked a couple times a week at least. She was surprisingly cool about it and didnt tell anyone. Eventually word got around but by then we didnt really care, keeping it a secret was too much work. I'm 23 now, she's almost 17. We've fucked a few times over the past couple years but between me being at college and us being in other relationships it sadly doesnt work out as much as I would like.

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>>716462728
im actually back at home cause i have no where else to go. i hate being here cause my mom is crazy and my dad is a little bitch cause he's scared of my mom lol. merry almost opposite day /b/rother.

>>716462544
gj on the multi-tasking

>>716436770
I'd say lay it out there /b/ro and win or lose be done with it. I wouldn't wish that shit on my worst enemy.

>>716461426
Thats fucked up. Sorry he's like that.

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>>716453377

because i return with light

>>716449147

so YOU are the fucker that does that.

C'mere. I want to beat you to a pulp.

(Fuck, he'll do it)

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>>716433291
I had the most fucking amazing christmas eve, home alone drinking and doing drugs. also I am a professional YLYL banana shitposter

In the middle of a divorce. And been dating 2 people for about 3 months now. I still don't want to lose either...

Started talking to my ex again, and I remember why I ever liked her. Fuck me idk what I'm going to do

>>716462544

right behind you on that.

I think I need it, but if I was telling myself the truth I don't.

>be me
>28 m
> have g.f who cheated a month ago
>feel destructive
>organise meet with first horny cunt to bite on grindr
>says hes old man
>dont care
>at his place
>real tidy middle class cunt but old a.f, down syndrome eyes, chemical breath
>i say "lets do this, anything and everything dont care"
>we get naked and in bed, light off
>mutual sucking insues
>"fuck my young asshole you old cunt but wrap your shit first"
>he turns on light to get comy and lube from bedside draw
>notice a few big lesions on his abdomin
>ohfuck.jpg
>dont care fuck everything nad everyone
>"hurry up old man i aint got all night"
>he mounts me and goes to town
>when hes done i get dressed and leave objecting his offer to stay and talk about life
>later old man
>go to gym take a shit and shower
>asshole is bloody when i wipe
>have a shower, no feelings what so ever about what just happened or the fact that i let an h.i.v positive male fuck my asshole till it bleed
>spend next 3weeks feeling weird, body aches and lacking energy
>decide to get checked for everything
>nurse/councillor is sexy older pom chick
>pricks my finger and says to wait 20min in the waiting room for results
>in waiting room reading home decor magazines
>nurse call me in her room
>"no aids"
>carry on with shit life with whore g.f

>>716461426

C'mere. You need some special attention.

>>716456122

grill or faggot?

>be 22
>be gay
>dropped double major and graduated with a BA after fight with bi roommate over blowing off his gay fuck buddy
>living with parents as a result.
>still mostly in the closet
>feeling like I can't live life to the fullest if I can't openly hang out with fuck buddies and friends at my place
>crushing hard on a ftm transgender dude at work
>tranny may still be a tad feminine but it has an asshole, so I'm game.
>not sure how to tell parents that I'm gay nevermind that the person I want to date is technically just a chick but with her tits lopped off and a rolled up piece of bologna between her thighs

>>716449391
ya where in the midwest?

>>716444616

kek

did not see that coming

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Need advice

>29
>azn gf
>never really liked her but so ronery
>have a baby
>GF nags nags nags
>want to get away so bad
>scared of looking like a nigger bailing on bb

what do

>>716450716
do you was your underwear with bleach? have you tried changing your laundry soap? I had a friend who was allergic to bleach. If his whitey tighties got washed with it it would make his junk itch and sometimes swell up

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I'm a closet sissy. I once had sex with someone I met on craigslist (and no, i won't greentext)

>>716443624
>Yuan Wang.

the thing is 4chan cooperates with the police all the time. people think it's anon-ymous but it isn't.

so someone report it. let the search warrants get issued. pasta poster will get v&. see whether it's pasta or not.

Have the emotional spectrum of a corpse. Also cultivated some sort of fueled up sense of inner peace to be OK with it.

>>716465815
no probs with you being a sissy or whatever. just don't take chances with random craigslist hookups dude.

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>>716443624
>>716465896

here's how you report it.

I didn't. can't be bothered. but one of you fuckers should

>>716466071

anon's pasta is full of shit. if he kidnapped her he would have been telling us about fucking those lips.

>>716466067
yeah i know. i mean, he told me he was clean, and he's about as trustworthy as anyone i'd randomly meet and hookup with, so i figured it would be fine. I did forget to make him wear a condom, though. i got so caught up in the moment

>>716434641
We are trying to fix the hyper-drive. We got drunk and decided to fuck with Earthlings, ended up landing too hard in a corn field with the safety fields off. Some Earthling missiles hit us out of no where before we raied the fields and shields. We took off to sober up and put out fires. Now, we are stuck in orbit trying to fix the hyper-drive so we can get home. Well... it started off as fun.

Guy who is dating my mom has a 8 year old girl who plays alot in my room. Im 16. Once she tried to jump on top of me from the front. And I just lost it and kissed her. Ever since she tries to touch me. Dont stop it. We are now really close since then. Im I a pedo? I think I have a story that turned me into liking girls younger then me. Cont?

>>716466417
yes, please

>>716438204

What in God's name are you blathering about?!?!?!?

I've placed hidden cams on my bathroom and started doing on others bathrooms at parties or reunions, im getting addicted to this and want to record almost all girls I know
Mostly I see asses, sometimes people come stay at my home and have recorded them taking a bath
Once I lent my home to a friend to have sex with a random girl and placed a hidden cam too

>>716435493

you remind me of Edmund Kemper.

>google it faggot

>>716458434
R u me?

>>716466536
Great story I guess the next step is for you not to post any evidence.

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Had a party couple guys and couple girls left over at the end of the night we all slept in the same room. I had a wank right in front of all of them without them knowing

>>716446679

you have to actually be famous and shit to be in the 27 club.

>your delusions of grandeur don't count

>>716466510
Okay im on mobile so fuck >greentext
I was 12-13 on big boat in delta. Im from cali so all i remember was mom calling it the delta. 4th of july and mom is dating the guy with the 10 year old girl daughter. After fireworks we sleep up on some room compartment on top deck. High up. Now she was asleep and i was just staring at her think how good she looked. Boner. I think if it is wrong for me to like girl in lower grade. Then I think about age differences with mom and grandparents andthat stuff. Fuck it. Start touching her. Didn't no what to do and scared so just rubbing her chest alot. Get to scared. And cuddle next to her with boner. Big spoon. She was awake entire time. She says she likes me. We had a fun day ya know water guns and balloons and shit. Next day we leave after mom starts fight with her dad. Mom was junkie. Never see her again. Move up state to sac for 2 years. Now moved even more up in sticks now. But yeah thats my life.

>>716454012

>let

implying

>>716459233
>I wanna fuck my friends fiance

I wanna fuck my friend's face

>>716457856
I'm very afraid to drink for this reason

>>716433291
I confess
I confess i confess this place is more retarded than it was ten years ago.
Merry christmas faggots

>>716467636

I drink for this reason

>>716433291
what if I have none?

>>716467758

let me correct that for you

I confess i confess this place is more r̶e̶t̶a̶r̶d̶e̶d̶ relevant than it was ten years ago.
Merry christmas I'm a faggots̶

>>716468233

EVERYONE has a secret faggot

>>716468561
not me

My low libido and dick not working is making me think I'm gay; and it sucks. This could be the result from untreated depression, watching gay porn, and being extremely antisocial. But when I'm with a girl, I don't feel gay and it's awesome. My mind is running rampant and wild and it prevents me from sleeeping; Consistently. I want nothing more but to just sleep forever, yet I have no real reason to be depressed.

>>716468735

your secret is you have a secret faggot

>>716468748
>dick not working with grils
>watching gay porn

>still not gay

>>716468767
kek, no, I swear

>>716467211
implying what?

>>716450296
Are you the Chocobo guy?

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I have a monkey fetish.

>pic related - me with a monkey

I'm fucking a woman who's in a relationship

>>716468828
I haven't watched gay porn in a year. I don't wanna be gay.

>>716469051

implying you LET them take a shower

>pedo faggot MADE him take the shower through evil manipulation and he knows it

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>>716466675
Just cause im drunk
One girl im proud of having, love her personality and how nice and cute she acts makes my dick hard
Something I love of this is you can get nudes of girls you know they would never take any

>>716444616
surprise mother fucker

>>716469240
lol no, otherwise i would have done it long ago. He's had several opportunities before, always declined, never forced or coerced him in any way.

>>716469238

>still not gay

>>716469614

>let

implying

I fucked one of my bff girlfriend at a party... right when he left because he broke up with her. Never mix horny and tequila because i feel awful

>>716469744
hung over and got aids, damn that must suck

>>716469614
is your cock at the level of his face?
did you slap him in the face with it when you got hard?

>>716469837
Not AIDS but i had a horrible hungover... it sucked

>>716469933
eitherway you should get tested, she sounds like a whore.

>>716433291
I'm leaving my current job in nine days and haven't told a single one of my friends there.
I tell myself it's to avoid making them sad, but it's really so I don't break down and cry like a bitch.

I'm currently after someone who doesn't want me, she even talks to me about the one she wants while knowing how I feel, he's a good friend so I can't bring myself to talk down about him to her. Meanwhile I'm here still wanting my ex more than anything, I know I'm using this new girl as a replacement and nothing else, she's destined to fail to meet my expectations if she ever comes around and likes me. It xmas, my favorite holiday as it always brings the people I love together but this year I spent it alone and crying while listening to more of new girl's woe... Happy holidays to all of you /b/, for listening. And a special Merry Christmas to C, my ex who I hope has forgotten me and found the happiness she deserves, I realize now I could never have been enough, I love you.

>>716469908
i poked one of his eyes out. whoops. oh well, that's why you have 2.

>>716468748
You are a special kind of faggot

>>716470389

ikr

bmpd

Debating on messaging my ex I haven't spoken to in 3 years. Probably a bad idea and I'm not even sure if it would be worth it if things go bad. She was my best friend though, and I miss her company.

>>716433291
have a huge crush on an online gaming friend who's like 10 years older than me, too scared to say anything.

>>716471021
why not approach her as wanting to be friends? or do you miss her in a not friendly way?

>>716471046
some day it'll be too late

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I've given up on all my hopes and dreams and don't have the heart to tell my parents. They are paying for me to go to college, and genuinely believe and me and all of that... I want to die but I couldn't kill myself.

>>716471123
I still love her, but I wouldn't be upfront about it, but I'd rather be friends. We had a bad falling out though so I'm hoping enough time has passed to heal our wounds.

>>716471156
99% sure he doesn't have feelings for me, we've spoken alone a handful of times and he confided in me about an irl girl he likes a lot

>>716471324
Then I'd say go for it, the worst thing she can do is say no. Good luck anon!

>>716433788
make sure to let every single person around you know that you're a fucking atheist.

Christ you people are worse than vegans.

taking a massive dump after 1l of coffee thats all

I gave oral sex to a 12yo girl at a party yesterday