WORST SEX EVER THREAD i once fucked a 24 years old down syndrome

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>>716088449

>>716088449

How the fuck do you even get turned on by a face like that?

>>716088449
How did you even get hard? I get flaccid when I smell the pussy I'm fucking, I couldn't stomach a retard

>>716088449
greentext + post pics.

>fucks a retard
>complains about her acting retarded

shiggy

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>>716088449
>give me that big funky cock

This thread again

>>716088449
how does this even happen?

also isnt this illegal? it seems like it almost qualifies as bestiality since she would have the iq of a chihuahua

>>716088999
find a better smelling pussy.

also checked.

>>716088945
we we're both kinda drunk and she was more social than most of her kind. she had my friendly attention all night until she started to talk about filthy stuff to me. i was shocked but as i listened to her it made me more and more horny. i was also thinking ok this might be a bad idea but hey, when will i ever have a chance like this again?

>>716089001
missed opportunity with the greentext, sad

>>716088449
post her actual pic please
I find this very arousing.

>>716088999
Find a clean girl faggot, last girl I fingered her pussy smelled delicious, I literally smelled my hand in front of her lmao

>>716089635
But how? How were you not alone? I figured most downies have to be accompanied by someone else so how did you even find her alone enough hours to have sex with her?

This wasn't worst sex of all time (it was actually really fucking good) but is somewhat relavent. I had a fwb for about 2 years that was a midget. She was honestly very attractive (for a midget). I met her through an ex gf. We'd smoke together regularly. After me and the girl broke up I continued smoking with her. She had a trampoline in her back yard. We'd get really stoned and jump on that mother fucker. It was really fucking funny to see that dwarf do back flips so I loved it. She had really big tits that I also enjoyed watching when we were on the trampoline. One day when we were alone just playing around, i tackled her. Right after that she grabbed my head and started kissing me. At first I was like "woah I'm kissing a midget, this is fucking weird". Then she started rubbing my dick... I then forced her down to my now hard cock and she started to slobber all over it. Literally the best head I had ever gotten.after a minute I picked her up and pulled her off the trampoline. I sat that hobbit down and got buck naked. She did the same. We fucked right there in her back yard in every position possible. She was fucking amazing. She knew exactly how to moved her disformed body and talked dirty like you wouldn't believe. After that I would go to her house everyday after school. Wed always go out and get some pot then fuck after we smoked a blunt. About 4 months after we first fucked she invited my ex over. My ex at the time was hooked on heroin. She let us try it. We fell in love with it. We began to regularly invited her over to buy shit off her. The hobbit talked this girl into fucking both of us one time when we were really doped up. I honestly preferred fucking the midgy alone. We did it a few more times until my ex OD'd at an Outback Stake house with her whole family there.

I am currently in the market to obtain mongoloid porn.

>>716088449
you must be.... so fucking ugly and/or socially retarded to go that low. I've known a lot of people and the only ones that bang uglies are not any better themselves, but never have I heard of a non-retard doing it with a downs. holy shit for humanity sake I hope this is made up.

>>716089022
top kek

>>716088449
That is my fantasy OP. I don't know what it is but I've always wanted to fuck a chick with downs. Figured it'd make me a sex offender or something though.

>>716088449
do you see a lot of downs grils on the street? I haven't seen any potato since high school tbh

>>716089326
Even if it is, why don't retards get to enjoy the same pleasures as the rest of us? Why should they be literally unable to have sex for their entire, possibly miserable lives? To deprive them of something so integral to the human experience seems wrong.

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Once went on a date with a slow chick, was pretty sweet went to her place, fingered her pussy, asshole, haddd niiiiice boobs/tits. Oh yea I got a pic of her! Funny enough after dping every sort of foreplay, she didn't want to have sex, so I titty fucked her.

At the end she asked if I felt a connection I said "....nope" Kinda wish I did a 2nd date with her now lol.

>>716091630
If you say the same thing about children, most people will think you're fucked up.

>>716090769
>Fucking on opiates

Have fun not being able to cum.

>>716091747
Children grow up eventually and have normal sex, unlike fucking retards like you who are retarded forever

>>716091842
I never cum during sex anyways.

>>716090652
Downies are not THAT retarded

>>716090652
she was with some normal friends. i was with some friends too and we met that night and hanged out togheter all night so i guess i earned their trust so i said that i would take her to her home and then we fucked in my car

>>716091246
i have pedo fantasies (but i would never do it really), so i guess her child-like way of being was what made me so horny

>>716091842
why would you even want to fuck while on them

>>716090769
it was light-hearted, and then it got dark.

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>>716091747
If they live a normal life, live alone, work, don't need someone to take care of them, I really don't think it would be unethical for them to fuck anyone they want.

>>716092251
>i have pedo fantasies (but i would never do it really), so i guess her child-like way of being was what made me so horny

... this might be the perfect solution.

>>716088449
Dam dude if that aint bate that's fucking awkward.

never really had an akward sex experience but ive fucked a lot of bitches at work sooo could share those stories..

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>>716089024

>>716092251
Sounds a little like the downie's wrangler and OP's wrangler might be getting fired.

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Heres another ;)

>>716092306
This. Cant even get a full sentence out properly let alone smash

>>716088449
Yikes.

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>>716088449
> This is reality

>>716088449
A couple years ago I had sex with my sister. I was in the middle of the fap and she walked in on me. Immediately came over and started touching me. I never really wanted it but what kind of faggot says no. Fast forward a few minutes, she tries to ride me but my desk chair breaks with our combined weight and a shard of plastic embeds into my lower back. Quickly hid what we did and i went to the ER. Kinda glad i got out of it that easily.

>>716092588
moar

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>>716088999
Gotta check that shit muh nizz

>>716092398
Depends. Some downies have the IQ and morals of a 3 year old. Others are basically low-intelligence normies often exhibiting similar behaviours to autism.

I guess there's no real laws about it, but getting a downie who is willing to fuck and doesn't have a handler nearby is pretty fuckin rare.

I blogged about this exact same thing yesterday on www.fuckyourgod.org and I think you stole my post you fgt except I did a bunch of meth and fucked a dude with downs syndrome

>>716088449

how does that even happen?

>>716092602
Dude sex on heroin is the best. Sometimes I'll take an Addy or two with the heroin solely to fuck for a few hours.

>>716088999
>I get flaccid when I smell the pussy I'm fucking,

faggot

btw, nice dubs. 88, baby

>>716091673
>>716092588
post more hot retards
I can't believe I just typed that

>>716088449
kek.jpeg

>>716093096
Mixing heroin with amphetamine and having sex while on it seems like pretty fucking brutal combo for your heart. It's amazing that you can get hard like this though

>>716088449

wanted to get my sick ducked so I found a whore on craigslist. supercheap blow and go. as always in life, you get what you pay for. I figured how bad can she be?

When I called she asked me to bring her Burger King. Weird, but wtf.

I get there and she is so fucking hideious. Old. Fat. Incredibly ugly. I mean really really ugly. I have a high tolerance for ugly and she was fugly. No teeth. No hygeine. Not clean.

I gave her the Burger King and kept my $40 and left. She seemed really happy. I think it was pretty much just a BK scam.

So technically no sex, but man it was bad.

>>716092130
seek medical help

>>716093100

kek. trips checked the dubs.

>love it when that happens

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>>716090931

>>716089326
Yeah its illegal. Theyre not legally able to confirm "consent."

>>716093417
willing to pay $40 for a bj w/o even asking for age
seek medical help

>>716091630
they can fuck other tards in much the same way animals fuck other animals.

there does not need to be one able minded person and one tard together

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>>716092854
Here!

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>>716092976
National Downs Syndrome Society says it's A-Okay

http://www.ndss.org/resources/wellness/sexuality/sexuality-and-down-syndrome/

I fucking would man

>>716093383
Actually that was a problem at first. now I know if I take more than 20mgs of Addy I'll have a hard time getting hard. But heroin only helped me get hard.

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>>716089024

>>716090769
Did not expect it to end that way

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>>716091673
boobs/tits

>>716093576
is that the actual definition of consent or the tumblr version of consent...

they can do the first one but not the second.

Fucked a girl from my HS in my truck. The smell was almost unbearable. She acted like she didn't even notice. I dropped her off at home. I had to wash my hands and dick in a muddy pothole because they smelled so bad. My uncle is a pediatrician and said a lot of young girls smell strong because of the hormones of adolescents. I have nightmares about that smell.

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>>716089024

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>>716093776
Her ass

>>716091673
like how slow? Like learning disabled, or just plain Tarded

>>716093795
Is that Kelly Osborne?

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>>716093999
Actual definition. They legally cant commit crimes either.

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>>716094319
Probably learning disabled, kinda autsitic probably, she had some job at a jcpenney in the back room, and lived on her own.

Also more!

>>716088449
I have an incest fetish, so my girlfriend role played as my sister, and it was great until she started crying because I "thought my sister was hotter than her". Stupid fucking cunt always made everything about her.

>>716088449
Once fucked my gf and she came so hard she shit herself- she couldn't look at me for days. Miss those days when she had some embarrassment, she'd do it now and wouldn't care.

>>716094548
thats kinda hot, did she make wierd monkey sounds when you fucked her?

Did she also have a bunch of stupid shit around her apartment, like beanie babies and such

>>716091842
its actually quite enjoyable on low dose and makes you last a bit longer

>>716094725
>monkey sounds
Fucking kek'd

A chick with spina bifida tried to Fuck me once. I was bored and she was sad so I took her some liquor and pornography. Well turns out she wants the d.. I'm an idiot of course she did. I was just trying to be nice. But part of my brain knew I think. Well I couldn't get hard because of the cat smell in her house so I faked an allergy attack so I could leave. She kept calling me to come back and get my porn. I told her to throw it away. I'm cringe worthy.

Tim is that you?

>>716094564
I fucking had this! "tell me your fantasy" then she used it against me. Fucking bitch, my fantasy then became 'smack bitch mouth'.

>>716092799
Dubs fails at Wincest.

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>>716094725
She moanned at EVERYTHING even kissing, and yes lots of stuffed animals.

>>716094548
Would split this bitch in half with my cock

>>716092799
moar stories about you fucking her?

>>716094914
Yeah, it's the worst. Then later it's "Why don't you trust me"? Bitch I wonder

>>716090267
shes a fucking downie, they all have the same fucking face. The only diffrences are skin/hair/eye color you inept nigger

>>716094974
I honestly wonder if she got any gratification from it, or just did it because OP wanted to, or because it's what people are suppose to do.

>>716088449
>i once fucked a 24 years old down syndrome girl that was really bad at coordinating her body moves

What did you expect you asshat

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another

>>716088449
post them pics faggot

>>716095618
I love her tits. got any of her butthole?

>>716095618
Moar

>>716090769

whole lotta shit in that post my based anon. bravo.

when you say OD'd, did she died?

Doug Stanhope has a funny as fuck routine about fucking a midget. He said the weirdest thing was whenever he told his friends he fucked a midget they all paused and said "ummmm....... a GIRL midget?" He goes off in a hilarious way about "what makes you think fucking a midget would be what it takes to get me to cross the gender barrier to fuck a guy?" You had to be there. he's funny as shit.

>anon, when you tell people you fucked a midget, do they ask you "you mean...... a..... GIRL midget?"

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ANother

>>716092979
link?

>>716096207
you still hook up with this girl OP?

How'd it start and how'd it end (if it did)

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>>716089024

>>716088449
>spent all day moving furniture into then gf's new apartment
>was really tired
>gf made me eat her out
>Kay.
>made me keep going
>was so tired I was beyond even caring about what I was doing
>apparently I'm great at giving head despite that
>finally tells me "okay put it in"
>feels okay,pretty good. Missionary so it was sorta eh
>got insanely fussy about making sure I didn't go too slow or too fast
>was so tired I halfway didn't care
>switched to cowgirl two minutes in
>felt pretty fucking nice with her on top
>switched positions again two minutes in
>stood up and bent over on the bed
>my legs really hurt but I was like k I'll do it
>was so tired at this point and she wouldn't move her ass so I could stick it in without bending my legs down
>legs were jelly because I had moved ten boxes of her fucking clothes up three flights of stairs
>tried to find the hole and stick it in
>a minute of trying in she said "I'm tired let's try again later"
Kay.
>went home, smoked kush looked up porn and jacked it
>felt 10x better than with her
>stopped putting any effort into the relationship
>waited another three weeks for her to dump me

Her handjobs were terrible two. Only blew me once and that was okay though I didn't cum.

And that's how I lost my virginity. I'm really fucking tired.

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>>716096412
I stupidly at the time only wanted a one night stand, so at the end she asked if I felt a connection, I said no.
Look at her fb, shes been in a relationship since august, I tried to message her even before that, didn't respond. Glad I titty fucked her tho.

>>716094453
Lel'd

>>716094175
Her body is like, a strange level of unattractive. It's not really ugly at first site, but the longer you stare, the uglier she gets

>>716096888
at least you got some of that sweettard yum yum, bonus points if she has a lisp.

also check'd

>>716093417
This is the best story this week. Now I know how to get free burger king.

>>716094055
The fuck.

A quick one to contribute...
at work there was this Mexican girl a bit chubby but kind if cute. I gave her rides home when we got out at the same time. after a few times we started talking about sex and she said she was a virgin. I think she was 19, anyeah I told her it felt good and convinces her that I can show her a good time. we fucked, pussy was cute and smell good. she shaved and all, and we did it a few time more. blowjobs in in my car, I fingered her in in the storage room and so on. But I didn't like her, just like to fuck her. it got to the point where I would tell her to call work off and come over when I was off and she was not. If she said no, I would pay her for the day or half a day. it got to the point where I would pay her to come because she would skip work and needed the money. it was many time a month. I didn't like her, I just like to fuck her. she got a boyfriend so we stoped and I fucked her a few times after. she would come over with her uniform and leave with her uniform as if she was coming over to work for me. prostitution I guess. I think she has a kid now. it was wierd.

>>716088449
Fuck, my friend's wife looks very similar to that.

My first sexual encounter was with a chick that mangled my dick and I had to force myself to cum through the pain. I had to see a doctor afterwards. She sort of broke my dick. Like the tissue was bulging and I have a couple cysts on each testicle from the impacts. The dick part mostly healed but if I ever get really hard for a while it'll push out again. My balls always hurt. I developed severe ptsd over it and can't stand the idea of anyone touching me again.

I'm probably gonna have to go on a shooting spree and then kill myself since I'm not smart enough or resourceful enough to truly hurt humanity as a whole

>>716088449
>Just married
>Wife virgin
>me virgin
>first sex missionary style
>hymen breaks, wife cringes
>dick wilts, feel so bad, love her so much
>foreplay for another ten minutes.
>have some decent sex and hit the sack

First time was actually pretty good, it was just the worst because we've both gotten better at it. I mean, it was really special, but for raw physical feeling, probably the worst.

>>716096888
her contact info .. give it!

>>716093417
lol in europe you fuck good women for that money

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>>716098382
Nah, leave her be lol

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>>716089024

>>716098541
aww.. just want her as my fwb...

>>716098541
got any pics with her feet OP?

When I was 17 I frequently fucked the 14 year old autistic adhd girl. She knew she was handicapped and I convinced her that what I did to her could make her better, but nobody could know. After our sessions, I would give her mentos as a reward. I tought her well and after a few years she could ride like a pro. The sex was OK... But she stunk bad. It was like war ranch dressing that has been sitting out all day.

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>>716099048
Nah, this is the final n00dz I have of her.

>>716093486
w-will the nurse m-make me c-cum ?

>>716099051
well, someone is going to hell for sure.

>>716090506
stayclassy/b/

>>716096509
sounds exactly like the girl I lost my virginity to. she was sexy as fuck too

>>716093679

they have the age and shit in the ad you moron. all lies.

>fucking newfags

>>716090769
> We did it a few more times until my ex OD'd at an Outback Stake house with her whole family there
> Outback Stake house
> Stake
Was she getting ready to hunt a vampire?

>>716093795
>National Downs Syndrome Society says it's A-Okay

they started the foundation just to have an excuse to fuck downies

>best.sex.scam.ever

>>716100513
well she wanted the vampire hunter.... "D"

>>716088449

a friend asked if she could bring a friend's daughter to use our pool. friend does a lot of favors for us, so why not?

Daughter gets her. turns out she's a serious tard. More tard than downsies.

She kept trying to take her swim suit off. She's 30 or something but fat and fugly.

pleasedontgetnaked.bmp

when she came in the house she kept grabbing shit off shelves, pulling DVDs to the ground, opening everything.

was glad as fuck when she left. didn't allow her to come back.

>bet you could fuck her if you had her alone though

>>716100526
>Tatogate

>>716089380
faggot detected

>>716094456
>>716093576
This is wrong. I work extensively with people with disabilities. At 18 they become their own guardians just like everyone else. In most cases if they are messed up enough for this to be a problem someone (usually a family member) can file proceedings to maintain guardianship. There is a bunch of legal nonsense and it is a pretty expensive process. Of nobody claims guardianship they can go into state conservatorship but plenty slip through the cracks. I get a bunch of people brought to my agency with criminal records. Even some felonies.

>>716088449
If you go down on a downy is it actually going up?

>>716088449
omfg im crying hahahaha someone screencap this please lmao

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>>716093417
>>716093417
>has he left yet?
>yes honey come out he just left
>haha grandma you were right, another free BK for you! take another pic of my ass for my backpage post

>>716088449
Op fucked a retard lol

>>716093795
met a girl at rehab, she was 24 but had emotional state of 12 year old. hot as fuck sorority girl got into a DUI, fucked up her brain. All the shitbags were hitting on her so hard, and I was all mr. White Knight. I felt so bad for her mom... her precious little girl was like coohing and oohing for these this methed out mexican and smacked up white emo dirtbag. They were making plans to see her afterward rehab and shit. Some random guy showed up to "visit" her and her mom had him thrown off the campus.

Now I just wish I had fucked her brains out a few times. Shit I'll bet mom would have even set me up if I'd asked. I had to be a better alternative that what that girl was doing on her own.

>>716101801
yeah but the retard fucked a faggot

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>>716090267

I try to lose my virginity to this ugly girl my friend broke up with.
I suck on her boobs for ten minutes and then try to eat her pussy it taste bad.
I tried to stick in and couldnt find the hole.
Struggled for about ten minutes. Give up.
she gives me head it was kinda bad. i didnt cum. ad i just left. I wake up in the middle of the night sometimes and cringe cause of that.

i tried again a couple weeks later and it was amazing i found the hole and didnt have to use a condom.

>>716102159
yeah but the second time was in your dog's asshole.. not sure if that really counts.

>>716102159
I didn't realize for like years later that the girl I thought I lost my virginity too... I never got past her hymen :( I thought she had a super tiny and tight vagina and I just sort of jammed the head in a few times, then I got floppy, and we sort of called it quits.

>>716092976
>Some downies have the IQ and morals of a 3 year old
What's wrong with 3 y/o's? They enjoy sexual pleasures too

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>>716095379
Fucking christ that is so disturbing

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>>716102159
>it was amazing i found the hole

>>716103955

nice quads!

>>716094175
9/10 WOULD DO AGAIN
-1 FOR NOT GIVING BJ ON FIRST DATE

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>>716092542
Underrated post

>>716095176
>Yeah, it's the worst. Then later it's "Why don't you trust me"? Bitch I wonder
If you've reached that point, it's best just to throw her shit out on the street, and call it a day forever

>>716089024
>Give me that big funky cock white boi
>Give me that big funky cock right!
>Give me that big funky cock white boi

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>>716104550

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>>716093134
>post more hot retards

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>>716104626

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>>716093134
>post more hot retards
Not sure which is more fucked up: you asking or me having some

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>>716104714
>>716104773

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>>716104871

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>>716088999
checked

>>716093999
Check

>>716104871

wtf is that?

>>716088999
Smell like potato?

>>716098390
I'd hit her every hour, bareback nutting into her womb impregnating that slampiggy tard, turning her into my always loyal and succumbing sex slave

> mfw am a fucked pervert sick fuck and lovin' it

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>>716090769
>always fresh in the Outback

>>716105311
a chink

>>716092306
You need to be learned on what to say in the english speaking faggrt: your the most worser talker

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>>716088449
>fuck me donkey

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>>716100526
>they started the foundation just to have an excuse to fuck downies

LOL

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>>716101560
>someone screencap this please l

there you go anon

>you're welcome

>>716101581

kek, made my day

>would have taken bj from that great granny before I would have let the BK wildebeast suck my dick

>>716104714
>creating the Antichrist
lost it

>>716094893
I'm Tim. How may I help you?

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>>716089024

>>716093697
But that's like hogging all the chromosomes

>>716103556
only 3 year old downies

I once went to a special school for some papers. And down syndrome were making an orgy ...

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>>716102159

whats with all you people not being able to find a pussy hole? ..fuck me, it not like it's covered in camo netting. boggles my mind how people have trouble with this.

>>716106446
kek

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>>716088449
>fuck me donkey oh yeah

>>716108446

hey, happens to the best of us on teh first try out. it's not so much finding it, it's finding the mark with the dick.

first time I tried to get laid, I fumbled around and got soft and couldn't do it. was worried I could never stay hard with grill. Had sex 2nd time and was diamonds. found out I could stay hard for hours at a time and could always get hard again in a few minutes after cumming. Just needed to get past the first one and hit my stride.

>>716108547

reminds me of Jon Benet

>>716105594
how has it taken me this long to realize she's wearing a large print taco bell logo T?

>Me and my friend meet up these two asian sluts every Friday for a month
>Finish Goose too fast one night
>Everyone is fucked up, friend disappears
>Slut takes me into a room, trashes it like the drunk whore she is, and starts getting really nasty
>Sucks on my whiskey dick like a pro
>Pussy is fucking wet and riding my dick like Asa Akira
>5 minutes later, slut "feels guilty"
>Too drunk to care and want to sleep but can't fall asleep b/c slut is snoring
>Wake up hungover, headache, sleep deprived
>Friend makes joke about STD, get paranoid
>Go to PP and find out I have HSV2

And that's why you use a condom folks.

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>>716090931

Mongoloid, huh?

>http://www.xvideos.com/video2333602/asian_tolly_crystal_gets_double_penetrated

enjoy pham

>>716108923

asians can't get the herps

>>716109053

We also can't drive, get white girls, and bad grades

>>716109268

correct

This was a wild ride man. Maybe cuz I'm stoned.

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>>716104413

>>716096039
No, my ex didn't die when she OD'd. Paramedics got there quick enough to dose her with narcan but she ended up in rehab.
I've actually seen that stand up! Funny shit. But I literally never got asked that question.

>>716109268

actually asian dudes aren't sexual beings at all.

asian chicks are sex goddesses

love fucking me my asian chicks

>>716110013

hey man, you mean a GIRL midget?

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>>716108923

>>716105497
god damn that was hilarious xD

>>716106728
You kinky slut

>>716106728
Hey, fuck off buddy. I'm Tim.

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>>716104550
>>716104626
>>716104773
>>716104871
>>716104990

I honestly can't tell, is she downs or have some sort of mental disorder?

I figure she might is she's being mentioned in this thread, and I don't know what mentally slow Japanese sounds like

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>>716112163

>>716112163
>I honestly can't tell, is she downs or have some sort of mental disorder?

do YOU have downs anon?

how the fuck can't you tell??

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>>716112875

>>716088449
>WORST SEX

>be me
>at that I'll touch yours if you touch mine age with best friend
>I'll suck your peepee if you suck mine
>um, ok
>he pukes on my dick after about 2 seconds
>the end

worst sex ever

>still not gay

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>>716113144

>>716112163
why did you put Bailey Jay in this thread

>>716113399

nice quads

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>>716112904

I don't know if it looks different with Asians... is she retarded in anyway? I'm not trolling lol

>>716113399

We're talking about fucking people with mental disorders, so...

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>>716088449
I fucked a fat black chick once. She had a tiny puss couldnt even get in. I remember rolling around on that fat blubber trying to penetrate and it makes me nauseous.

>>716089022
Lmao ah man! The only one making sense

>>716092799
Did you ever try it again?

>Be me with girlfriend
>Summer vacation
>17 and she's 16
>Never had sex
>Both virgins
>Lots of stuff done
>BJs, Hand Jobs (terrible)
>She always swallowed and then brushed her teeth
>Loved it
>Didn't really want to have sex yet
>I was focusing on my school studies and work
>Get really high one night at her friends
>I always pass out when high
>No tolerance...
>She comes into the room around midnight
>Literally punches me in the chest
>Says "Lets do it... lets fuck"
>Uh... k
>No condom.shit
>Decide I'll pull out
>We both get naked
>She's actually quite pretty, easily 9/10
>I'm fat Wow-playing nerd
>Lasts all of like 2 minutes
>Fuck yes, got laid
>Get up and wrap blanket around my naked body
>Go to living room and watch Lion King 2 with her friend's little sister
>Forgot I took the only blanket
She laid in the room for 2 hours naked with no blanket waiting for me to return. We broke up a few weeks later, she got prego, took a bunch of pills and it miscarried.
So /b/, that was my first time.

i'd just broken up with my gf, she fucked a guy to get some coke and is still a coke head. a girl i went to high school with messaged me on facebook and basically asked if we could fuck about a week after.

>i pick her up and take her to my place
>we start making out and undressing before the door is closed
>she starts blowing me and i notice she has a lazy eye
>i can't stay hard after noticing
>i push her onto the couch and start eating her out
>basically stalling trying to jerk my dick hard
>i can't get to her clit because her inner labia are fused together in a fleshy mass that covers her clit
>she says she has a birth defect or some shit
>i do my best, but it's not working
>i ask her to show me how she masturbates
>she actually shoved her finger under the fleshy mass and rubbed her clit with her nail
>i actually get hard watching her and proceed to fuck her
>she tells me she can't cum from penetration and to let her know when i'm ready to cum so she can swallow it
>i'm fucking her, feels great
>i remember her lazy eye
>lose boner
>i tell her to get doggy style
>we talked about anal play being cool before we met up
>i spit on her asshole and finger it
>she says something like "oh, fuck. warn me next time."
>she actually seems to like it and is pushing her ass back onto my finger
>she says her ass can't handle a dick right now
>i'm hard so i start fucking her again
>i push my thumb in her ass
>i fuck her for a while until i'm ready to cum
>i pull out my dick and thumb which makes her queef and fart
>some shit gets on my hand, but i don't notice
>i grab her by the hair, fuck her face, and cum
>i smeared shit all over her cheek/ear
>she cried the whole ride back to her place

>>716088449
>it didn't make her horny, she was just there having fun with my cock
Best fucking laugh I had in days. Thank you OP.

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>>716094548
Why the hell was this not the first response? I am disappointed in you, /b/.

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>>716088999
>I get flaccid when I smell the pussy I'm fucking,

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I mean... Wasn't the worst sex ever, just was very unfortunate haha..

Anyway, I used to work at wendys when I was 19, there was a manager their from el Salvador and was a total cougar probably late 40's but sexy as hell, and we had a thing were we'd meet up after work and make out. I like to stay well hydrarted and through out the closing shift I slammed down a fuck ton of water, so come to closing me and the manager agreed to meet up across the street in the empty parking lot. I get there first but there is a problem! I gotta piss like a fucking race horse my dick is about to explode like a freeze break in a copper pipe. By the time I made the decision to Just get out and piss in the parking lot she pulls up and I decide not to piss, so I get in the back seat of HER car with her and we talk for a good 30 minutes just about work bullshit, again my dick is about to spew piss uncontrollably! We start making out for for probably about 20 minutes after we talk, And then it happened, I've never fucked her before, but on this night she wipped out my cock and it was on, now at this point my cock is at defcon 5, my dick is about to detach and start its own army of neglected cocks in which their owners held their piss in and come and fuck me up, but that's besides the point. She's on my lap bouncing on my dick and it had to be the most uncomfrotnable thing ever while my bladder was that fuckin full. Finally I cum but notice I don't have the feeling I have to piss anymore, I feel my pants around my thighs, their soaked, I feel her around her back car seat and its drenched, she looks at me and just says, "sorry i get really wet". Hahahaha yes were going with that, I leave and drive home knowing I just dodged a bullet.

>>716088449
first time, 17yo with a 19yo catholic girl. she was a virgin and sex hurt, spent about 20 minutes trying and about an hour after comforting her. more depressing then bad i guess.

much better a week later when we tried again.

>>716116096

A?

>>716089326
Fuk off cunt my chihuahua is smart af

>>716115898

awesome story anon.

did you fuck her many times after that?

>meet pretty cool chick
>great kisser, know she'll be good at oral
>date a few times, down to fuck
>she blows me - as predicted she is awesome
>says how turned on she is
>wants to keep her clothes on, I undress her anyway
>big hanging folds of skin fall out
>like dry pigs tits
>flat boobs in push up bra
>she used to weigh 300# lost all the weight - but skin did not shrink
>I try fucking - can't keep hard because flaps of skin
>switch back to mouth and cum hard down throat
>she swallows and licks lips
>couldn't handle the stretch marks
>but that mouth I still fap to it years later

>>716115898

btw, you can't actually consent to a manager because of the inherrent power differential.

you were raped anon

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>fuck me donkey

>>716090506
Beta as fuck

>>716116317
Fucked her once more, but in my car this time. I quit shortly and moved away and lost contact.

>>716090978
Actually, there's a pretty big fetish for it.

>fuck gf in ass
>she sucks me off after

>>716093776
How you meet her?
She got a kik?

men, is OK. post image related

>>716116204
anal? no, she wouldn't even let me touch that hole.

>>716090769


>sat that hobbit down


fucking lost

>>716099768
This chick was like 5/10 barely. She had great tits though.

>>716116511
currently laughing my ass off.

>>716099768
Also story

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>>716116933

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>>716113242

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>>716088449
Was her name Cole?

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>>716088449
Ew, I would never fuck a girl with downs sy....

>>716116773


dude, how can you quit a job like that??

>>716094055
Stinky pussy is the worst

>>716090769

THIS ISN'T REALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
OH MY GOD

>>716118523

faggot

>>716118276
Nature called, it was time to move on and hose down fellow work whores with my cock else where.

"connection error"
When I want to upload an image

>>716118862

gook moot must fix this shit

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>>716118862
again

>>716088999
OPs chick kind of smells like Maccas fries

>>716089022
Kek

So I'm going to rant a bit. The last three times I had sex with my wife (over the last week and a half) have been pretty lackluster.

1) she says "OW OW" right as I finally start pumping. I pull out, but nut all over her bush instead. Kind of cool, but did not get to feel the best part.

2) Nap time and the kids are sleeping. All right! I rub her ass in bed, get hard, things are going good. I pull her cheek apart and see... a bunch of fucking toilet paper caked on her but and pussy. I've NEVER seen it like that before and I'm insta soft.

3. In the shower yesterday. Cool. I bend her over, but I nut in literally 2.5 pumps.


Not sure what the deal it. Often have great sex with her.

>>716119391

the last three times I had sex with my wife (over the last 4 years)

>>716119558
well???

>>716119391

I have experienced number 2, and I have to admit it is ruinous.

Most things I shrug off or don't care about because it's my wife, only woman I've fucked in 10 years, only woman I'll ever fuck again, so who fucking cares.

But there was something distinctly and seriously unattractive about finding a not insignificant amount of TP stuck in her ass once. It completely turned me off. I just focused as much as I could so I could cum ASAP and ended it uneventfully.

>>716119391
I hear you man, the last time I had sex with your wife was really disappointing. I had to ask for my quarter back.

>>716119797

made my point.

married = no sex

>anon getting it 3 times in a week is pretty fuck good. anon is my hero, even if the faggot complains about how so-so it was

>>716119391
Pull the toilet paper out of her ass with your teeth, then once all out roll it all into a blunt and smoke it.

>>716119845
>only woman I've fucked in 10 years, only woman I'll ever fuck again,

you're doing it wrong

>>716121074

arump

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>>716118523
>>716118602
kek'd a little

>>716121505

gonna make you squeal like a pig boy

>>716121505

you got real pretty mouth

>>716109943

i would sooo fuck whats left of her brains out

>>716091673
TIMMY

>>716090769

fucking lol at the last sentence of that story

>>716109943

oh.my.fuck.

>>716088449
Fucked a slightly retarded girl i met during a pizza delivery.

slight tard face but man the booty was mean and she had a rack.

It didnt suck but it wasnt great. She just let me give it to her though

>>716104459

Maybe it was 'funky' from all that smegma???

>>716104860

Someone's been eating their potatoes.

>>716095379
Ha ha thats pretty funny. I would have lost if it was ylyl

Is Cerebral Palsy porn a thing too?

>>716122745

oh pizza boy, I don't have any money. how can I possibly pay you?

>>716088999
I feel ya. Im the same way sometimes. Realized it mid way through sex that I really really lowered standards and the smelly pussy is the last trigger to start feeling the shame.

>>716123173
>Is Cerebral Palsy porn a thing too?

pretty damn sure if you can imagine it, there is porn

>>716123173
>>716123416

http://www.pornhub.com/view_video.php?viewkey=ph57fc08fdf333d

>>716115287
Because we're not 12, fag.

>>716115287
Nice cropping newfag kys.

>>716123516
>Because we're not 12, fag.

wtf you talking about anon, you are ALL 12

One time I got a boner when looking at my ass. I'm not even gay nor do I find traps sexy or attractive in anyway. guess my ass is that good.

>>716094725

no no no not "monkey sounds"

its "autistic screeching"

>>716123651

>still not gay

>>716123758
No my ass is just round and good.

>>716123806

faggot

>>716124041
You're just jealous I've got a nice ass.