>Stand like this in shower >Use free hand to throw water

>>715976941
bump for curiosity

I like to buy coffee at the convenience store. You put it in a little styrofoam cup and drink it while you drive.

>shit into hand
>toss into toilet
my mom gets super mad when i miss

>>715978467
You absolute madman.

>>715976941
I always look at the paper before dropping it in the toilet when wiping my ass.

i blow my nose with tissue/kleenex then bundle it up and wipe the end of my dick after i piss. every time when i piss.

i dont get snot on my cock or anything i bundle it up so it doesn't touch my cock. its just a weird 2 in 1 thing i do idk.

>>715979951
i clean my mouth with a tissue, then bundle it up to clean my nose

>>715979505
kek i do this too

>>715979505
>>715980508
i also look between my legs how long the turd is while it's still attached to my ass

>>715980588
This, I need to try.

>>715980854
the challenge is to make the turd touch the water without it breaking

>>715981020
Alcoholic = Oily shits.
This will be a tough challenge but I will report back if I shit before this 404s.

>>715979951
I got a UTI from doing this when I had a cold

Piss with my balls out.
Spit/lick toilet paper before wiping.
Eat my nails.
Shower with my back to to the shower head.

>>715976941
Well, i doubt anyone can top this

But i live in south east asia (im a white american) and i constantly speak in half german and complain loudly to the locals about the untermensch, and how the muslims and jews are a big fucking problem. Surprisingly, the locals agree. They hate muslims, and now cause of me they hate jews, even though the jews aint done shit to them.

Also, i gave some poor kids some candy one time if they promised to heil me, now all the poor kids do it cause cause they associated it with getting candy

>>715981222
>Alcoholic = Oily shits.

Is this why sometimes when I shit it seems like I have to wipe my ass 20 fucking times?

>>715976941
I hold farts in the morning until I use the shower and once I get all wet I fart as I spray my ass with the shower head. Sometimes I'll even cup my farts in the shower and sniff it.

Also at my parent's old place one of those bolts for the floor drain was missing so the catch grate would be spun off. Sometimes I would take an empty water bottle and give myself and enema and shove whatever poop came out into the open drain hole.

I rinse my teeth with virgins blood

i inject memes

>>715976941
and the ugly people losers smell like poop and outnumber everybody and is ugly and try to hurt the popular people the ugly way and the ugly people losers smell like poop and is ugly and serve us there cheese burgers and the ugly people losers smell like poop and lie to the public that the ugly people losers dont outnumber the popular people and it is fair or not fair and the ugly people losers smell like poop and hold everybody with the corn rolls so the people dont knog the ugly people losers socitey is creepy

>>715976941
and the ugly people losers smell like poop and is ugly and try too hard to study like the ugly bitches that is ugly and smell like poop and is loser and smell like poop and try to be better then the popular people like me and the ugly people losers smell like poop and try to hurt popular people like me if i try to use the ugly people losers resources

>>715981449
I call them "clay shits" cause its like soft clay. I get them from drinking, or from eating really greasy food.

>>715976941
and the ugly people losers smell like poop and try to hurt the popular people like me the ugly way when the popular people like me try to use the ugly people losers resources

>>715976941
so even tho the ugly people losers that smell like poop look pathatic and the ugly people losers smell like poop the popular people like me and the popular people is traped

Scratch my toes like a badger.

>>715981828
I use my feet to pick up stuff on the floor, no matter what it is

>>715981724
What the fuck

I coordinate my shits with when I take a shower so I don't have to wipe my ass, I can just rinse it off in the shower
>learned this from another thread like this years back

>>715981358
Wait. Are you supposed to face the shower head or something? News to me.

>>715981358
>lick toilet paper before wiping

only a matter of time before a brainfart leaves you with a sour taste

>>715981997
Uh, do you not wipe your asshole with TP after you dry off after your shower?

>>715981997
I call it "the poor frenchman" technique

>>715981391
I love you

>>715981391
This is an amazing demonstration of socio-economic engineering. You, sir, are my idol.

>>715980508
>>715980588
>>715980854
>>715981020
>>715981222
also, when i was younger i chewed on the cardboard roll when the toiletpaper was off. Liked the taste of it

>>715982131
Every now and then but if I'm in a rush no

>>715976941
I do this too anon and wondered if I was the only one.

>>715981358
I never noticed I shower with my back facing the shower head till now LMAO. Now that I think of its it's fucking weird.

>>715981535
Steam farts are evil incarnate.

>>715981391
Bless

>>715982152
The girl who works at the coffee shop down the road
>This coffee shop is like a asian starbucks knockoff, where they use foreign words for the sizes and write yoyr name on the cup even though there are 2 people working and its never that busy

Will write fuhrer on my cup and say "good luck on the reich" and shit. Shes actually educated in history and knows why its very bad and also funny what im doing

>>715982231
Thanks anon.

Im a real stupid fuck sometimes, but i have a cult of personality when it comes to making people do shit for me

>>715982316
Ew, you walk around with a shitty wet asshole? That's fucking gross, anon. God damn.

>>715982833
>Shitty wet asshole
I dry off and the point of the shower is to make sure I don't have shit on me, are you fucking stupid?

>>715982547
Would love a pic of the cup anon.

I chew the skin around my fingernails until they bleed. I've been doing it since I was single digit age. I'm 27 still doing it.

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>>715982833
this

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>>715982547
You are truly a God.
Personal Jesus https://g.co/kgs/i4WnZB

>>715982952
Well, its just a paper cup. I dont save them, and i aint gunna just write fuhrer on one to try and add credibility.

But, i will make a new thread with the videos of the kids heiling me after i convert a segment to webm. Assuming i can get it under 2mb (thanks hiro)

>>715979505
you're supposed to. to make sure you aren't shitting out something you shouldn't be.

>>715982932
You dry off? With what, your towel? You wipe your wet asshole with your towel that you use to dry off the rest of your body?

Fucking. Disgusting.

>>715981222
>>715983222
>>715978299
>>715980277
>>715980588
>>715982833
Checked.

>>715983307
Fucking this

Same for looking at your shit before flushing.

>>715982131
>wiping asshole with TP after you've just showered and wiped your asshole clean with water and then dried it with a towel, effectively making it as clean as it can possibly be, even more than when using TP alone

are you fucking stupid m8

I walk around in circles whenever I get nervous or is in a train of thought, but that's probably just autism.

>>715983481
i do this too, i have assburgers

>>715983307
I always check to see how much blood my fistulas have released that day.

>>715981449
baby wipes. invest in a pack. seriously.

>>715981358
>piss with balls out
I do this too

>>715983448
Sounds like a waste of toilet paper. Why not use an actual towel to dry your recently shower clean anus?

I use my second towel as literal butt floss and in between balls and thighs for the driest of dries

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>>715983595

>>715981449
One wipe charlies or baby wipes work wonders

>>715983705
>Not sitting in the nude and letting the air dry you

Pleb

>>715981449
I suggest baby wipes. your underwear will thank you.

>>715983855
Checkd

But i never understood shitstains in your underpants. I make sure to wipe properly and also take time to wipe my ass when its itchy, and i never had a shitstain

>>715983007
Same

If I have a wet messy shit I save the saliva in my mouth as I wait, and when I'm ready to wipe I spit my spit onto the toilet paper and wipe with that


I like smelling my dick smegma


Top that faggots

>>715984216
that first one....
but i'm guilty to the second one too

I often use soap and water to clean my ass after shitting and after a long day my ass still stanks a bit

>>715984216
I gnaw off the excess skin on my feet, and also use a steak knife to saw off some skin off my feet to eat

When my dog is bad I pour isopropyl alcohol on her fur. She's a rescue so my parents assume she runs away from the smell of alcohol because her ex owner was an alcoholic so my dad doesn't drink nearly as much hard liquor anymore

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>>715984367

I find excuses to shit in the woods and piss in alleys.

I also like shitting from a crouch more than sitting

You guys are really obsessed with shits

>I save people into my contacts as made up numbers. So if anyone ever takes my phone not only will there be no names on who I've called or texted recently but the phone numbers listed will be completely useless.

>>715984961
Thatd be an amazing security feature if you were important enough to give a shit about

>I pick fights with my girlfriend so i can go out drinking

>>715984514
That's not a weird habit son that's just good ole animal torture

I have a fascination with girls with big natural lips. When I kiss one, I lick the corner of their mouths and suck on their lips like I'm going to get the essence of their femininity or some shit.

I make absurd faces and voices when I'm alone. I'm 36.

I obsess over an ex girlfriend to this day from 20 years ago and drive by her old house she doesn't even fucking live in anymore..

I have have either psoriasis, hemorrhoids (sp) or a combination of both in my ass crack and sometimes have to wipe my ass again mid day, and it itches so good that I almost feel like I had an orgasm after I'm done itching it.. (wtf)

>>715985114
My thoughts exactly. Except I'll never be important in any way for it to matter. And we all do that with our girlfriends from time to time

>>715985288
I like you anon, you deserve those dubs

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>>715981997
>learning hygiene habits from cantonese carryout compendiums

I like to let my toenails grow long because the longer they grow, the further around the front of each toe they curl, blocking off the nerve endings on my toe skin, making them sensitive to touch. Once they get long enough, I cut the nails off and rub the extra sensitive skin against my bed mattress or a soft blanket.

>Feels good man.

>>715983427
a wet clean asshole cause of the shower you inbred fuck

>>715985234
I love DSL on a woman.

Also, i do the voice thing to any kitten i see or own. I am 6 foot 6 and covered in prison tattoos

thats the way I stand at shows

I make fake facebooks, and friend people from certain regions (northeastern usa, jersey, cali fags, texas fags etc) and i act like a stereotype of those people. I kept saying how shitty new yorkers were to my jersey facebook, and how i needed a zima.

I never wipe my ass while still sitting on the toilet. I always stand up, put one leg up on the sink, spread my ass cheek with one hand and wipe hard as fuck... Although there has been a couple times a little turd berry will fall to the floor but well worth the risk

>>715976941

Even though I'm fat, I spend a fair few minutes watching myself in the mirror doing muscle poses.. just in case something has improved in the last 24 hours of not working out.

>>715984946
Why not crouch on the lid of the toilet? It's actually the best way to shit. Less of a strain on your ass and the natural way. I've tried it a few times on mine, but it's too tiny.

>>715981543
HARDCORE

I rhythmically grit my teeth.
To go with the general theme of this thread, I also scrub myself in the shower with the water off, with a wad of suds on my chest I reserve for washing my crotch, ass, feet, hands and face.

>>715986025
Tried that once, i fell and cracked my head on the sink. Passed out and my girlfriend found me with a shit hanging out of my ass and my head bleeding profusely

>>715986015

Also I have this weird habit of doing equal numbers of left-right movements, either with my jaw, hands or feet. Something like L-R-L-L, R-L-R-R, and feel physically uncomfortable if I consciously try to stop it.

>>715986357
In that order anon?

>>715979505
I mean it's a common sense to do, why wouldn't you I mean, how else would you know your ass is completely wiped of shit??

>>715981913
Same with me. I've done that so much that I can grip shit with my toes and throw it into my hand.

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>>715986903
Yes.

>>715978818
He's a goddamn monster is what he is

>>715982021
If he's lucky sour is the worst he'll taste...

>>715987152
I roughly divide the wad of suds between the seven body parts. I often end up with more suds than I know what to do with.

>>715987138
Fam, you my nigga for real

>>715982319
Looks like it's still just us haha

still no one who likes to smell his own smegma or like to chew on empty toiletpaper rolls ?

It's not THAT weird cmon