zzzzzzzz.....o-oh Anonymous, I d-don't have your rent

>>715515568
That's fine, stay forever.

A grumpy Alice thread!

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>>715515568
adorable pose! *hugs*

>>715515568
What's your dog's name? Pretty cute

>>715515568
If your a burn victim how burnt are you?

that was quick

>>715515568
I have a nice couch, or a second bed if you want. Stay for as much as you need. You can use anything in the house while I work.

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A-ah! Oh, sorry Anonymous, I d-dozed off w-while the turkey was cooking.

L-let's go check on it, shall w-we?

*hugs* You don't have to pay then, just share some tea and, make me dinner and I'll be happy

>>715515568
Food with timestamp or gtfo

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>>715515568
*pets*

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zzzzzzzzzz

join this maid cafe

www.arcanecafe.com

>>715515807
Oh no, hopefully it's not burnt.

>>715515807
show ass

>>715515375
I thought you hated mint tea, you always make fun of me for drinking it
I stilll insist on this question >.<

>>715515807
Just make a digiorno pizza.

>>715515807
>must of
REEEEEEEEEEEEE

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>>715515867
L-let's check! Allow m-me to apologize for dozing off....

>>715515849
goddamn I want a gf to do this to. Last one wasn't too affectionnate for physical touch.

>>715515807
clever use of the sign to hide your pantsu

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I hate anime out of principle but love these threads. Fuck me, I'm a closet weeaboo and I don't even know it.

>>715515807
holy fuck this is adorable

>>715515974
knew it

So is this just... Opposite Day for /b/?

>>715516008
>>715515989
What is a moonbitch?

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>>715516008
I'm n-not even from an anime, b-but that sounds like a stupid as fuck principle.

>>715515974
>>715516030
close, bot not same kitchen.

>>715516008
whatever moonbitch

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>>715516008
Whatever moonbitch

>>715516008
bish plz

>>715516008
moonbitch

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>>715515568
nice Razer burn post nudes degenerate trap, idc if you cover your face up still to "not be an attention whore"

>>715515926
Tendies

>>715515568
Simple question:

Do it or dont do it?

the context is irrelevant its just something personal for me.

>>715516091
Is anime white?

>>715516008
ok moonbitch

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L-looks like the turkey came out f-fine! Delicious and m-moist, just l-like we like!

>>715515926
Hush, Pepe. Drink your ovaltine.

>>715516008
moonbitch

I've never cringed this hard my entire life, this must be the new low

>>715516140
Sauce?

>>715516193
Nice!

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>>715516223
S-stop liking what I don't l-like!
For 400, Alex.

>>715516193
Show us your juciy cock

>>715516223
ONLY just NOW? Please leave your mother's basement

Good night Alice! Hope the show goes well.

>>715516076
Hey, don't judge so harsh. I have my reasons. It's because of the wobbly knees schoolgirl routine, mostly. It can get creepy, no offense.

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N-now we want to add all that stuff from earlier into t-the potatoes s-so they taste heavenly!

>>715516193
Damn, that actually looks really tasty

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>>715516193
yummy

>>715516193
Dafuq is that? Just get some red baron pizza

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>>715516384
D-don't worry, it gets way better <4 We're g-gonna make these mashers banging!

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>>715516223
Nah, this reminds me of ROB threads except with a cute girl teaching us to cook.

>>715516371
Someone touch your no-nos when you were little?

>>715516379
Get a coffee cake for the love of satan!

>>715516430
>kosher salt

will normal salt work

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>>715515568
Moshi Moshi, Loli-desu! Do you want to have some fun with me today, Anon-chan!?!? (I love you Alice so much :D My throat hurts so much...)

http://vocaroo.com/i/s0xoEnmDA87B

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>>715516430
yukon gold?
what's that?

what does kosher do for salt? ._.

It's a man

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>>715516430
>no bacon grease
Turkey looks good though, so I'll trust your expertise.

>>715516379
Thank you for cooking such a delicious meal for us, Alice. If I haven't eaten already I would absolutely join you.

Do you like wine or any other type of alcohol?

I think I saw your psychology help threads before, but this is the first time I see a cooking thread. Sorry to see you getting hate, but I guess you know what you're doing and what you're in for. I'll be following along!

>>715516533
hooooly

>>715516546
Type of potato and it's more coarse than normal table salt and tastes slightly different

>>715516508
Only if you don't want to go to jewish heaven

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>>715516197
This is killing my sides, and yet it's so dumb!

>>715515568
Alice I wish you would let one lucky anon take you on a date. Or even make a dish with you.

>>715516533
wrong kitchen, mate.

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>>715516508
It n-needs to be big flakes...otherwise, you are g-going to have a...bad time...

>>715516546
Changes the absorption rate!

>>715516586
And m-my gaydar s-says you are a faggot!

Guess both of us should stop using unproven methods to guess at the others sexual characteristics, huh?

>>715516599
I d-don't drink.

>>715516684
no

>>715516693
stop sucking so much dick you nigger

>>715516630
We all go to Sheol anyway...

>>715516533
Why's it look like the balls are on top of the dick? And I don't see any burn scars

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>>715516709

>>715516704
Do you have any plans for when you appear here or do you just do it when you feel like it and have free time?

>>715516693
Please don't...I need this...

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>>715516628
Sounds kinda interesting~

>>715516704
kosher is more or less absorbent?

>>715516800
>>715516747
nobody is stopping you from fapping, but know that's not the same person.

>>715516768
You don't see any burn scars anyway. It's an excuse so we play along in "her" pretend fantasy land

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N-now mash em all up so it tastes better!

>>715516800
T-too bad.

>>715516829
Different!

>>715516784
Every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.

>>715516800
Read this in the narrator's voice.

>>715516533
I lost

>>715516882
>Every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.
Same as my shower routine.

>>715516546
kosher salt just means it hasn't been recycled or used for any other process

It's funny how people are jaded and calling trap almost by reflex. As if this is the weirdest thing to ever happen on /b/.

>>715516704
What do you enjoy about making these threads?

>>715516882
But what happened to the squash?

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>>715516880
S-someone said "the voice never lies"; I'm p-pretty sure I've confirmed that tonight.

That or I really am Mandy/Raven. I'll take either.

M-moving on, scoop that squash up folks! You w-want it all, I g-got it for you!

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>>715516193

>>715516882
*cough*
>every
*cough*
Even if they're your plans I never see them come to fruition >.>

>>715516970
It got squashed

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>>715516960
>>715516960
Absolutely n-nothing!

>>715516970
W-we are getting to that!

>>715517006
I h-hit it every day for three weeks boyo; I c-can't help if I get sick.

You d-don't want your squash t-to be flavorless, s-so add some spices and mix it up r-real good!

>>715516980
Hey Faggot,
My name is John, and I hate every single one of you. All of you are fat, retarded, no-lifes who spend every second of their day looking at stupid ass pictures. You are everything bad in the world. Honestly, have any of you ever gotten any pussy? I mean, I guess it’s fun making fun of people because of your own insecurities, but you all take to a whole new level. This is even worse than jerking off to pictures on facebook.
Don’t be a stranger. Just hit me with your best shot. I’m pretty much perfect. I was captain of the football team, and starter on my basketball team. What sports do you play, other than “jack off to naked drawn Japanese people”? I also get straight A’s, and have a banging hot girlfriend (She just blew me; Shit was SO cash). You are all faggots who should just kill yourselves. Thanks for listening.

I hope this ends with mashed potatoes dumped all over you. :3

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>>715516948

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>>715516882
hopefully substituting cheaper stuff works just as much ^ ^;

>>715516958
Strange.
thanks for the info... but isn't salt just salt?

>>715517092
nice copy pasta there m8, I missed this one...been a while

>>715517091
Will it cure my crippling depression

>>715516960
I know right?
https://youtu.be/tKX8AwNLmhM?t=15s

>>715517209
go away todd im not buying your goddamn game

>>715517091
Being sick is the best time to do it! Take a picture of yourself in bed and ask us for the tea! I'll gladly share some spearmint, it helps with throat trouble, but might hurt considering everything...

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>>715516882
>T-too bad.
:( I would take you to tropical islands....

>>715517257
who?

>>715516704
You seem like you'd be a lot of fun to talk to in person. Got a nice sarcastic sense of humor when you type in a normal voice

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>>715517092
Have y-you seen my body, dear? Fat I ain't.

>>715517122
Sorry t-to spoil it for you, but it d-doesn't.

It ends with us blending the squash up real nice into a puree texture. Unfortunately, t-that WebM didn't work out, s-so we're moving on.

>>715517209
N-no; literally ANY metal c-can form a salt. Salt is not just salt.

>>715517244
Email me at [email protected] f-for help with that.

>>715517294
I w-would literally die from overheating.

>>715516379
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0XAlY8PecGp

>>715516516
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1GDSrZUD40G

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>>715517361
All of m-my voices are normal, silly <4

>>715517318
it's a /v/ meme

you guys realize that this is a guy?

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>>715516254
find it yourself faggot 4chan gives you the resources come back to me if your to idiotic to find it

>>715517091
You enjoy nothing about these threads? Yet they require a lot of effort and discipline. Why do you them?

You're fascinating.

Crash at my place anytime you feel down.

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Alright everyone, d-dinner is served! Take a b-big old bite like usual and t-tell me how it is!

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>>715517378
Wow! salt is a metal?

which salt is the most.... uh... real?

>>715517447
oh... sorry i haven't been to /v/ yet.

>>715517378
Is that a real mail? Either way, I only have my personal mail account with name and everything...

cringe threads are much more elaborate than I remembered them. they have a storyline and shit.

inb4 Alice is Moot.

>>715517091
Then why do it? Are you a masochist? (nothing wrong with that). You look like a creative person so if it was truly nothing then you'd find other uses for your time.

Also more pictures of your pupper please.

>>715517209
Nein, negger. There are different kinds of salt (pink, sea salt, even black), flavor intensity and different grades of salt (from very fine to very coarse). You rarely have to worry about all this, but it's there.

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>>715517448
Maybe. It's still cute.

>>715517432
>>>715516379
>http://vocaroo.com/i/s0XAlY8PecGp
That one gave me a nice hearty kek

Mashed potatoes on head!

>>715517499
p-please show us your a-ass

>>715517499
Your food is always tasty, thank you for being here

this thread is fucking awesome. that house is hilariously nice, I guarantee OP owns the house and the trap is a crashing fucktoy

>>715517499
Cat or small dog?

can see ears in the background

>>715517526
Sodium! The other kinds of salt aren't nice to eat.

>>715517526
Salts are metals mixed with nonmetals, chemicals are weirdddd man
Side note fuck chemistry exams

>>715517499
Looks delicious!

>>715517249
Fucking hate this commercial
>that ugly ass chick that pretends to love games, when really she's sucking nigger cock in the stockroom
>call of duty man-baby pandering
>the guy wearing a ghillie suit in a store
>the fucker wasting power to spin around in a chair
>the VA that "ALWAYS SOUNDS SUUUUPER EXCITED"
just fuck this commercial

>>715517526
edible salt is sodium and all metals can be turned into a salt form you dingus

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>>715517488
If I don't, then who will?

>>715517448
Yeah, I'm not. If you want to think anything you are even vaguely attracted to is a guy, so on the off chance it is you can laugh at others, that says a lot more about your sexuality than it does my possession of a vagina.

>>715517540
Y-yes it is!

>>715517556
T-this is an Alice thread dear.

>>715517577
W-why in the world would anything I've done here m-make me a masochist...

>>715517648
I d-do my best!

>>715517672
Dog.

>>715517668
I'm n-not a trap.

>>715517678
magnesium salts are.

>>715517499
Next time you will have to give directions to cook something that this community will really appreciate like chicken nuggies and chocolate milk.

>>715517540
Make a new gmail account, duh. Takes 5 minutes.

>>715517378
You are adorable for trying to shard at something (whether that's play-trying or real trying, dunno) and you know it! Would treat you like a regular person, care for you, and make gentle love to your anus.

>>715517499
Looks a lot better than what I've had lately

>>715517433
Well I'm sure you got what I meant lol, don't want you to break the persona though

>>715517499
Yummy! Thank you Alice. Happy holidays!

>>715517452
Too lazy just tell me

>>715517718
I know right?
Still I had a blast working on the remaster.

>>715517730
Just by curiosity, how do you feel about black dudes? Would you ever date one? I'm asking for a f-friend...

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>>715517577

I wonder which salt in the world is tastyest!

>>715517678
sodium is salt molecules?

>>715517695
food chemistry must be pretty intense i bet!

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W-well everyone, r-rather than discuss my sex or t-the chemical make up of s-salt, how about y-you tell me how the food is?

>>715517566
Oh shit. Sounds plausible. I can see him doing something like this.

>>715517730
sorry, you're an "outsider for whom I have no working pronoun"

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Thank you Alice.

>>715517540
Alice hasn't doxx'd me as far as I know, and she has access to my everything
>>715517730
How many pets do you have?

>>715517859
like monitor

>>715517848
nigger

>>715517448
I mean it's this or that a woman has successfully convinced everyone that she doesn't need to show her tits to satisfy /b/.

>>715517859
tastes like your pussy.... or penis... depending on your sex

>>715517695
>>715517678
Plot twist, most of your medicines are actually salts. Anything where the ingredients are (something) HCl are a type of salt

This thread sure brings in all the fuccbois, good cringe material i suppose. And op is entertaining to some point i suppose.

>>715517859
It's delicious, Alice

Make more

>>715517730
Not really sure what the point of creating a thread this bland is. It's blatant attention-whoring on your part.

>>715517730

Is this your coping mechanism for not being born female?

Pretty weird, also drop the fucking s-stutter, its one thing to be retarded in the mouth and another to be retarded in the brain and thus affect your typing, you are not cute no matter how cute you try to dress attention-whoring up as.

>>715517859
Lock your door man

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>>715517730
>magnesium
Chloride? I guess that would make sense.
>>715517858
One atom of sodium (or magnesium, I suppose) and one atom of chlorine.
>>715517963
It's true. But medicine isn't tasty.

>>715517859
it's yummy~ <3

>>715517977
>make more

lmao

>>715517988
Fuck off

>>715517859
The food is amazing, thank you dear~
Why can't we talk about chemistry over the table?

>>715517859
Delicious. My first day of vacation and Alice3d cooked for me. Can't ask for more, can-I ?

Well... maybe cuddles but that would be for later.

I wonder how I can repay Alice for all this great food she offers every week. Massage? Conversation? Donations? Cooking equipment? A big thank you?

>>715517730
sorry but im not even vaguely attracted to you, im not gay :(

>>715517730
I meant it in the proverbial sense of you doing something nice in the face of all this random abuse.

I'm not criticizing you for it. You are showing in this thread how much someone can care about another person and it's nice to see a reminder of that from time to time :)

>>715517859
Taste wise I think you've done pretty well. The sweetness in the squash really compliments the savory turkey. I'm not a fan of liquidy mashed potatoes personally but nothing wrong with taste there. Always appreciate generous helpings of sour cream!

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>>715517859
Not actually there to taste it/I didn't cook along with you. But I haven't had a home cooked meal in a while and it looks delicious, so I'm sure it tastes great.
Thanks.

>>715517859

Like its served straight from a colostomy bag, good job.

>>715517859
Delicious your food makes me smile

>>715517859
Why don't you sit down and eat some for yourself?

>>715517940
There are exceptions to every rule, read the fine print of it

>>715517859
More importantly, who is taking the pictures? Is she cute?

>>715517961
So you think that both will magically taste the same?

>>715517963
HOLY SHIT REALLY? I actually want to hear more about this!

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>>715517859
thank you Alice, Its great :)

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>>715518049
>chlorine

;~; isn't that poisoness like bleach tho?
you telling me people bleach their salt molecules so it looks white on store shelfs?

My little brother committed suicide and then I failed all my finals. With out school loans I can't pay my rent and I'll be homeless during winter in Maine.

>>715518113
i want my dad comes back from the store he went to buy ciggarretes

>>715518113
I want a GTX 1080 and a i7-6700K

>>715515568
Is this a cute girl (male)?

>>715516430
fuckin 3/4 butter wtf

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>>715518112
fucking christ, that's the third time you've hit me this thread. wanker.

>>715517499

mental issues, seek help

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>>715517881
"she" or "her" will d-do fine.

>>715517910
Two.

>>715517860
I m-met Moot, but I am n-not Moot.

>>715517940
Peace chan already d-did that.

>>715517988
Oh? W-where is your thread? I c-could use some spice.

>>715518001
S-sorry, I was born female. Vagina and everything!

>>715518096
Oh, s-so you are a woman then? <4

>>715518099
I d-do it in spite of t-the pain, n-not because of it.

>>715518101
Glad t-to hear it <4

>>715518180
I am t-taking them, silly.

>>715518238
I'm female, and n-not cute.

>>715518113
i want my waifu

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>>715517859
3/5
needs some more juice,it's tender,but too much salt,try adding some more stuffing next time.

>>715518063
What? It's just someone in a maid costume pandering to weeb faggots by s-s-s-stuttering and pretending to make food for them. OP is some kind of new mega-tripfag that avatars with videos.