B-because 1D just ain't enough, and 2D is t-too low, it

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>>715510291
My body is ready

I'm bored, Alice
I've been smoking too much weed recently

>>715510291
Hooooooly shit you sound like Raven [when voiced by tara strong]

hi Mandy

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About time, i need this

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>>715510587
H-hey Billy. W-want some tea?

Bumping for more Alice3D

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OH LAWDY HERE WE GO

>>715510291
Jesus christ I don't care if you're a guy I want to grab your ass and push you into a wall....

SHOW PENIS

Front page bound bump

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22:05 - Aneki Margatroid: >>715510291
No pictures please!

Bunpinqq

OwO, what's this?

Hey, Alice. I'm pretty tired tonight. I normally don't stay up late enough to make these.

>No pictures please!
Trying to discourage avatarfagging?

>>715510655
who that bitch on your left there

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hiya

not anon here ^o^

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>>715510291
Let's see what's between your legs if dubbs

;~; hmph no picture allowed...
</3

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Hi Alice!!!!

>>715510734
Calm you ass down Kermit.

>>715510291
Ok, despite myself these things are fun.

I hope everyone here has a good week end, lets eat.

>>715510941
ME-tan pls

>>715510291
Wait are you the same alice that does psychology

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>>715510529
M-me too, here, listen t-to my first take of that voice clip:

http://vocaroo.com/i/s0sNj3KTfk2u

N-now, who is ready f-for some tea and good f-food?

>>715510655
You are looking amazing Alice

Chillin' with some Stardew Valley. Gonna be a relaxing night.

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>>715510883
Don't talk about alice that way faggot

>>715510291
Hooooooooly shit
Am I a dumbass or is that the first time you've send a sound clip?
Side note, finals are over so you probably missed a lot of complaining about that :P

>>715510291
What is your favorite food?
What is your favorite drink?
What is your favorite color?
What is your favorite anime?
What is your favorite manga?
What is your favorite husbando/waifu?

>>715511074
What's for dinner?

oh god yes, im addicted to this

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>>715511061
T-that's me!

>>715511087
Oh s-shush, I look awful.

>>715511015
G-glad to hear it!

>>715510883
That is Goliath! S-she is very cranky!

>>715510734
>>715510777
S-seriously...

>>715510587
Hi billy.

y'all some weird motherfuckers

>>715511055
who?

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hey I'm just here to post an image

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>>715511188
s-slow down there Anonymous! There is an order t-to these things! AN ORDER!

F-first I fail cutely at p-pouring you tea. Here w-we go!

One lump or two?

>>715511074
alice2 has a cold?

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Hmm

>>715511242
Nigga we know.

Now sit the fuck down and enjoy the faggotry.

what the fuck even is it and why am i enjoying it so far

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I remember when these were about a burn-victim trying to help people

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>>715511302
N-no. Follow the quote dear.

>>715511298
I'll take both your lumps, girl :^)

Go on....

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>>715511456
<3 alright
*hugs warmly*

Hi luka <3

>>715510734
>>715510777
Will one of you faggots either confirm or deny this. My boner doesn't know wtf to do.

>>715511252
Some gaylord
Maybe I shouldn't try anon spotting on /b/. Way too big.

>>715511429
Collapsing is bad, m'kay

>>715510291
your voice needs to be a lot higher

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>>715511429
T-they still are. N-now let me help you with a d-delicious home cooked meal <4

Today is a v-very special day: my last thread of the year! S-so we will be cooking a Festivis Turkey, and I'll b-be airing my grievances the w-whole time!

>>715511298
2 lumps

this makes my life a little better

I'm confused about what's going on here...

>>715511563
She's a girl, relax.
The Vagina kind

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I have never been hard over tea before. Rock hard.

>>715511563
just enjoy anon

>>715511298
You seem a lot more chipper than usual...I'm glad
Also for Christmas will you be wearing a sweater?

>>715510291

why is something this cringy allowed?

>>715511074
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0dr8E6XwZLj

>>715511584
What are we to do without you on christmas? (Says a Jew, but still)

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>>715511298
some spilled a little bit Alice, careful!

>>715511676
Because Alice is cute.

>>715511584
yes, need those proteins for my muscles

>>715511563
>Stuttering
>Flatness
>I have more hips than him
It's a man

>>715511625
I wish a cute guy dressed up as Alice would force me to suck his dick and drink his cum.

>>715511584
That looks like a very uncomfortable stool

>>715511619
So lurk more

>>715511629
Haha so funni

>>715511676
>Cringy
nigga just leave like close the browser lmao
Tab out nigga

>>715511677
>Therapist voice
Can we replace Alice with Not-Alice

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>>715511528
hiya~

>>715511582
anon pool is much too large on /b/
^_^

bard <3

Is OP a Trap?

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>>715511583
Okay. You wanna pay for more speech therapy and b-botox? Cuz that, gulping down vegetable oil, and doing about a dozen takes is h-how I sound less like a ghoul from Fallout and more like Raven and Mandy.

>>715511664
Of c-course! My Rick and Morty Get Schwifty sweater!

As well, as a s-special thread, I w-will also be making sides so y-you all can stop yelling about sides!

>>715511763
I fucking hate this web site.

>>715511838
probably yes, but we still love it

>>715511841
Vegetable Oil and Botox?

That doesn't sound like it would help

>>715511809
"Therapist voice"? What?
Alice can have her thread, I won't be taking over anytime soon.

>>715511922
It fucking hates you too

>>715511841
I can't wait! For a lot of us, you're the best present we could want

>>715511841
Smear my name in poo on the wall

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>>715511838
No

>>715511788
It is q-quite comfortable.

>>715511755
I'm a C cup. If you are too, then you have man boobs.

>>715511708
I'm s-sure you'll think of something <4

>>715511994
You'd b-be surprised.

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>>715511922
don't we all anon?

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>>715511841
I can't wait Alice!

>>715511994
botox to tighten up vocal chords and vegetable oil to soothe the throat. she is a burn victim.

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>>715511991
And this is why I don't frequent /b/ much.

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>>715511841
>gulping down vegetable oil

>>715512065
Are you sure? It looks like it has next to no back support .-.
Also, It looks more like B34

>>715512065
>C-cups
I wish you'd show it off a bit moar

>>715512065
I don't have man-boobs.
I would be pretty sissyficable if I wanted.
Lift that maid dress and be done with the mistery, slut.

>>715512097
>>715512065
Oh

I take it we dont talk about the past here?

>>715512097
Will she smear my name in poo on the wall since shes a burn victim?

>>715512097
Oooohhh, so when she said she smoking too much also she meant too much smoking herself, not weed

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*fries up pizza in da oven*

>>715512145
So it's shit like that
and not the actual hardcore trap threads

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>>715512061
L-let's start with mashed potatoes, as t-they vaguely resemble t-the feeling I get w-when I talk!

Also, don't mind that the pictures seem to occur at completely different light levels. That's just god visiting me and telling me not to post.

N-not that I have a real reason, or anything t-to say, but I'm gonna keep talkin' anyway!

>>715511838
Definitely

>>715510291
I dunno, but maybe join me in laying off the cigarettes

>>715512214
are genitals all /b/ thinks about at any given time?

>>715512288
shiny ass leg hairs

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>>715512253

>>715511841
>>TFW no QT 3.14 ghoul to cook shit with.
Feels bad, man.

>>715512321
What else is there to think about?

>>715512288
>leg hair

>>715512321
Isn't genitals what everyvody thinks about all the time?

you sound like the kid from the shining saying talking in front of the mirror to his finger

might I suggest that the avatards get their pictures out of their system here >>715506851

>>715512321
Yes
>>715512288
Gooey, or liquidy? and why would God not want you to talk? </4

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Go to the gym they said, it'll be good for your health they said.

>>715512321
literally the most stupid question ever asked

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>>715512288

I wanna see the fridge decorations!
:D
<3

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SHOW US YOUR UGLY FACE YOU CRISPY FREAK

>>715512288
You look surprisingly white here as opposed to Asian.

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>>715512272
>Ask question whether OP is a Trap or not
>implying I don't find Traps in general disgusting

Anon you need reading comprehension
>>715512272

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>>715512214
B-but you know I miss the mistery....or was it misery?

Which is the one I feel when people call me a man f-for no real reason?

>>715512187
See this:
>>715512191
For why I don't s-show it off.

>>715512302
F-fuck right off, smooth skin.

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>>715511584
>Turkey Breast
T-This is too much...

>>715511563
Dude

>>715512288
Well the earlier pic showed you did this at 4 o'clock your time...3 o'clock central, but it's okay

>>715512494
Underrated reply

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You look lovely today!!

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>>715512517
I l-look even whiter here! Now l-lets prep some tatoes, okay?

>>715512523
Thank youu I'm very proud of my smooth -- oh ah

>>715512523
I never asked you to show it off, just said they look more like C cups </4

>>715512523
>for no reason
But you are a man.
Show the bulge

>>715512677
B*

>>715512613
That's a manly elbow right there.

>>715512466
It's always seemed kinda creepy to me that /b/ somehow has little communities inside of it where the people all seem to know each other, like in the furry threads and that one, even when we have no IDs or trip codes

>>715512523
but you live in New York, cigarettes cost so much
also, you don't have to walk around in a bra, but flaunting a little in like a tank top would be appriciated

>>715511298
you spilled the fuckin tea..

>>715512613
Name's Jim. I'll just take a seat right here.

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>>715512684
I'm n-not, sorry.

Now you are going to want to use a potato peeler, n-not a knife. And you are going to want to peel the potatoes, not hack them apart like a maniac in a slasher flick.

But y-you will also have a lack of nerve damage helping you, s-so that's good too!

>>715512613
What do you normally season them with? I like a little salt, pepper, and garlic powder. Maybe a little sour cream, bacon bits, and chopped chives to make it a full blown loaded mashed potatoes.

>>715512821
love you on the podcast

>>715512739
It's subgroups all the way down
Even an inherently untiered place like /b/ has tiers
They're just allll down. No up.

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>>715512842
funny lookin knife

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>>715512769
I d-don't smoke. At all. I'm a b-burn victim.

>>715512739
T-that's what is creepy? Not t-the people laying into me as if I am a t-trap, or the people stalking me, or h-hell, the people who literally dox people or drop nudes?

The people who happen to know and associate with each other, THOSE are the people that creep you out?

...I'm with you man, all the way. Fuck those guys.

Also, watch m-me utterly fail at cutting up potatoes!

>>715512842
>not eating the skin - where all the nutrients are

not sure i'd trust you to cook anything, you're making kids food basically.

>>715512842
Boil until cuttable with a spoon, salt water beforehand, mash adding whole milk until smooth?

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>>715513053
Ive seen this before though? are you too lazy to make new ones?

>>715513053
>I'm a b-burn victim.

Hanako?

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>>715513053
tbh i sit in these threads for feels

>>715512842
what kind of knife is that?
you look like you're struggling so hard with it, i feel sorry for you.

i'm pretty sure there's a trick involving thermal shock to peel potatoes easily, but i can't wrap my mind around it.

>>715513053
I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend, the way you were speaking it sounded like you smoke

xth for Alice threads are a treasure and an important part of board culture

>>715513053
As a prep cook you make me cringe
Nice cringes but still
Damn dude

>>715512897
I can tell you're a little new here, so I'll go easy:
Firstly, there is more than one person named Jim. The Pizza Party Podcast is good, though.
Secondly: Lurk moar.

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>>715513081
Y-yeah, because everyone enjoys a g-good skin with their mashed potatoes.

>>715513115
No. Just no.

>>715513156
Y-you haven't, given I s-shot it quite recently.

>>715513165
That g-game is trash.

>>715513192
G-good to hear.

>>715513196
A paring knife.

>>715513240
I'm a g-girl.

>>715513053
what do you want people to do besides think about fucking you when youre posting on.. not just the internet but here of all places? what else is there really to do besides that? aren't you like a psychologist or something? you know better!

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>>715513053
Show us your face beautiful

>>715513192
*hugs*

alice is nice
:)

>>715513236
Alice threads are the best part of 4chan,, honestly

Why are you toxic?

>>715513081

"Myth #3: All of potatoes’ nutrients are found in the skin.

Wrong again. There are countless potato lovers who insist that peeling a potato reduces the nutritional value to next-to-nothing. But the truth is, the only nutrient that’s significantly lost when you peel a potato is fiber (you’ll go from about 2g to 1g after peeling). The good news is that the majority of a potato’s valuable potassium and vitamin C are found in the flesh."


RETARD ALERT

>>715513053
You're using way too much motion to cut each piece. They're potatoes, not rocks. Nice effort, though.

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L-look, I'll be honest w-with you. I cut more than one potato.

G-glad that's off m-my chest.

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>>715512714
There's no such thing as a manly elbow you fucking retard, it's a woman.

>>715513262
Sorry...I guess sarcasm doesn't project through the computer to show when one is joking

>>715513284
It's a fetish for her. She gets off on it.

>>715513355
If you place a wet rag underneath your cutting board it wont slip around as much

>>715513280
I call my female friends dude all the time

>>715513053
They're creepy too, but that's the kind of /b/ people I'm used to. I've never lurked in the threads where everybody knows each other, and all I see is somebody make a post with what looks like a random 2d porn picture, and suddenly everybody knows who it is. It's like some kind of secret society telepathy, it's freaky

>>715513378
Nah dude, that's one manly fucking elbow.

>>715513280
you dont even notice the skin.. it gives better flavor and texture. you look skinny, you oughtta cut up some hotdogs and throw them in your mashed potatoes as well. you should read stories to /b/, like storybooks. when this thread is dead and gone and my post no longer in existence, dont feel the least bit awkward about considering or employing my suggestion. it's not my idea - it's yours now.

>>715513280
dude is gender neutral, nowadays Alice

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I'm still hella curious about your burns
Like, did they just.. get better?

>>715510291
get out, you disgusting transexual.

>>715513280
Why do you not like the game?

>>715513355
Dubs of truth.

Is this some cross dressing shit or grill??

I would totally suck Alice's dick

>>715513355
Just throw the whole potatoes in a blender. Puree, microwave for 15 minutes, boom.

>>715513280
>>715513530

>That g-game is trash.

Oh yea, I haven't heard that story in a while!
Since you're ranting, why don't you drop your hatred for that game?

>>715513482
she is our leader

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>>715513280
SQUARE UP CROSSDRESSER FAGGOT

>>715511584
Is she floating on the aire, wtf.

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Magic!
<3

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-TqfBEX6QtE

>>715510291
Nasty Faggots

>>715513355
>>715513053
>>715512842
>Those dull knifes
I want to vomit. Low quality knifes trigger me, at least you know proper usage of them. Seriously get some better knifes, Cutco is your friend.

Glad to see I'm not alone in codependency.

>>715513493
Looks like she has man hands too

>>715513599
I thought the same thing, her legs are hiding the leg of the chair

>>715513429
is her face burned?


>>715513337
no I think you're the retard. learn how to communicate, I was exaggerating and you couldn't tell you fuckwit. carbs are a nutrient as well, you think I thought that the carbs are mostly in the skin? fuck off stupid.. the skin is good for you and makes for a more wholesome meal. go back to red it

>>715513620
I KNOW YOU DID NOT JUST SUGGEST CUTCO SERIOUSLY

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>>715513599
Maybe she's a real life fairy!

>>715513652
Feminine penis though

This whole thread looks delicious

>>715513620
>Cutco

you've been brainwashed

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>>715513284
I'd p-prefer they don't immediately call me a trap.

>>715513339
I h-have nerve damage. All I c-can do is gross movements.

>>715513429
/b/ l-literally m-makes me drier than m-my already burnt skin.

>>715513498
Y-you are entitled to your opinion, wrong though it is. M-moving on!

>>715513530
Because I've literally experienced the Japanese programs of exclusion of the disabled. Everything in that game is a testimate to the sins of the Japanese health system, n-not a fucking fetish.

>>715513571
No thanks.

>>715513620
You can t-tell knife sharpness from a poorly made video by a girl with nerve damage?

That's some second level shit right there; you need to c-call Guiness, get y-yourself in a record book.

If trips Alice lifts skirt

Why is OP speaking in stutters? Why is OP even typing stutters? The cringe is real.

>>715513280
What brings you to post on /b/ of all places? Why not /jp/?

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>>715513743
M-moving on, now t-that the potatoes are cut, w-we need to cover them in our delicious sauce!

I asked Kermit to help, b-but he was out of town, s-so I used garlic and a few other herbs <4

>>715513779
fuck

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>>715513775
>star of david
n-no...
NO!
IT CAN'T BE!
D-D-Der Juden!

>>715513652
Yep. pretty manly legs too.

I would sniff Alice's asshole

How does it make you feel when people refuse to believe that you are female?

>>715513301
I like to think she is ^.^

but much like anything else on 4chan, i dont really believe it. but i like to pretend this is entirely real.

>>715513775
>I h-have nerve damage. All I c-can do is gross movements.
Show us more. Show us your hands doing everyday shit and stuff

>>715513775
</4 I'm sure someone's been able to turn you on >.>
And would you prefer people talk about fucking your pussy XD

>>715513867
Are you and kermit like a thing

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>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HWJRVaM-Iv8
didn't see this posted so

>>715511922
kek

>>715513775
Knife sharpness is second nature after working on a line for long enough. You can tell from the way it cuts.

>>715513775
Fair enough. You're still cutting better than a lot of people I know.

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>>715513866
/b/ is m-my home. I've been h-here since 2004.
What brings you to my home, stranger?

>>715513788
S-sorry, would y-you like me to provide a stutter free safe s-space?

Click the X on the upper right to enter it!

>>715513950
D-don't really care what anyone believes, but t-they are free to keep it to themselves <4

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>>715513867
What herbs?
:)

>>715513982
She's human!
think of positives! :D

>>715513775
Its not that hard to tell a dull knife from any video really.

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>>715513775
Don't Worry Alice, To be honest just be Happy you make some people like me very happy and give me a smile every time i come across one of your threads.

>>715514030
You're literally a retard. Stop talking. fucking line cooks that think they know anything.

>>715513775
I've really never seen the game as a "fetish fueler", in fact I don't think I touched myself at all, more cried than anything

>>715513775
>/b/ l-literally m-makes me drier than m-my already burnt skin.
Lmao, I'd be worried if it didn't

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>>715514030
Oh j-just you wait! Now I h-have to cut the squash!

This (almost) kills the Alice.

>>715514097
i agree

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It's Alice! Haven't seen you in ages. Have you been active and I've just been missing you when you're around?

>>715510291
Hi Alice, is there anywhere I can get a briefing on what the history of this is? Its my first time running into one of these threads

>>715514117
Sous here
At a real restaurant in NYC
Fucking idiot

>>715514202
Same been here a few years but this is my first time seeing this
Enjoying it so far tho

>>715513867
those dum-dums in the bowl?

>>715513775
I got nerve damage from my car accident, lost most of the feeling in my right hand, and when it feels like working properly and lets me hold knifes I can still cut things just fine with my knifes.

>>715514178
Poor baby, if I'm near NY next year, and you want help I'll cook for you >//<

>>715513775

I'd date you. I'm a psychology major myself and I read some of your therapy threads. Idc if you're a burn victim.

If you're ever in WA or Vancouver we should meet

>>715514085
In my experience, humans don't always equate to positives.

that said these threads are almost therapeutic for me, so i suppose theres always a silver lining.

>>715513775
i wouldn't mind rubbing your skin with the proper ointments, plus i'm great at massages... sadly for you, i suppose i'm really far away from you.

>>715514178
please dont cut your fingers off holy shit what the hell are you doing lady

>>715514293
Me also, I don't know how I haven't come across this before

>>715514178
Good job working with what you got sista
Whatcha making?

You don't have to stutter when you type, it makes me think you're perpetuating your issues for attention

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>>715514097
G-glad to hear it <4

>>715514085
Garlic, mostly! And butter! The best herb of them all!

>>715513989
N-no thank you.

>>715514202
I c-cook for /b/

>>715514262
Which one, s-so I can make sure to n-never visit?

>>715514190
I w-wasn't on /b/ last week.

>>715514307
G-good for you?

>>715514360
T-trying very hard to please /b/ d-despite all the ill will they have towards me <4

>>715514190
You've missed about 2-3 threads a week for the last several months

>>715514262
yeah a real 1 star dive good for you. So you're a sous chef at a "real" restaurant in NYC that suggests CUTCO of all brands and thinks they can tell knife sharpness from someone with nerve damage cutting potatoes on a low quality webm.

You're actually going to give me an aneurysm from how retarded you are. please consider slitting your wrists during your next shift with your cutco brand knives.