ITT: Post actual shit you've done that nobody else knows.

>>715354626


Post tits or vag of yourself or /b/ isn interested.

Fucked my Mother in Law

>>715354922
>no vagina here

>>715354922
didn't say my gender faggot.
You can feel free to assume either way
point of this thread is to post stories, idiot.

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I've been at her place and she had to go for around 10min, but was still in reach. Couldnt hold back and searched through her stuff lying around. Cocked as much of her clothes as possible, highlight was a pair of bright panties. Nearly came into them but could hold back in time. Unfortunately that was the only chance I've ever had..

>>715355112
Tits or gtfo

>>715355112
You text like a female
>tits or gtfo

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>>715355241
>>715355282
eat shit.
Not looking for attention. Not stating my gender. Looking for fucking stories. Literally. stories about fucking. Now get to work or gtfo you cancerous faggots.

>>715355124
I have a similar fetish but with food. "tastes salty! mmm"
both funny and a turn on

I used to play with my cousin, she was 8, I was 9, we played naked touching our bodies, we even used to shower together, so we had curiosity why i had a "stick" and she had a "hole", we only touched and talk about it but we did it a lot and nobody knew it, but nothing sexual apart from that, inb4 some faggot will say it's fake, but hey, if you want to believe me do it, if not then I don't give a fuck

>>715355651
did that effect how you feel about nudity later in life?

>>715355854
Me and my cousin always thought it was something natural, and we were both very unite, we were like brother and sister so we did not have shame, I still think nudity is normal, I don't know why they censor tits and shit, there's a lot of taboos but that one is the one with least sense

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>>715354626
>>715355112
>>715355440
Sage

>>715356171
I feel like the more you try to make something taboo the more the youth will revel and end up making something initially harmless suddenly harmful. "you shouldn't drink until you're 21. at all." alcohol abuse is rampant in young adults in the US. Most other countries actually allow minors to drink under supervision. way less taboo and less abuse in those places

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>>715354626
Would have been a really good thread, OP. If you would have just started out with timestamped tits.

>>715354922
>>715355241
>>715355282
>>715356273
>>715356593
bunch of faggots who don't know how tits or gtfo works.

If he/she/it does not outright say they're a femanon then you don't get your wank material.

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>>715354626
Sage

>>715355854
That's true, I think we need more sex education, (people will fuck anyways at whatever age they want to) so we have less young mothers, they don't know why they got pregnant in the first place just because her bf stuck out his penis before cumming (but there's also something called precum which can also get you pregnant), we have that as taboo just because some faggots are afraid to see a penis and a vagina and they think if kids see they will be future rapist or some shit

>>715356473
>>715356800
Sorry, clicked wrong ticket number, but you still get the idea

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>>715356672
>If he/she/it does not outright say they're a femanon then you don't get your wank material.
I love how you believe the bullshit excuse. It's always been rule 31 and nothing more. Sage

OP here
I'm a faggot. You're all faggots for demanding tits. I'm a man you retards. I shouldn't need to pull gender. Never stated my gender = you don't get to ask for tits.

I just wanted a thread where everyone has something to fap to. And you shit heads go ruining it by demanding tits when you don't have the right.

>>715356593
>Would have been a really good thread
yes it would have been had it not been for you faggots.

THERE ARE NO TITS. good night. Go fuck yourselves.

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Timestamp and all.

>>715357182
Doing it wrong

I used to let my dog fuck me in the ass while I jacked off. I never feel gay or have gay tendencies. I was just a horny teenager

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>>715357163
>I'm a man
>I just wanted a thread where everyone has something to fap to.
The internet is a rough place anon. Now if you don't mind, pic plus timestamp.

seriously. Where are you "tits or gtfo" faggots in the threads that actually need it. where a outright admitted femanon is getting the attention she is fishing for. I see a million of those go by and maybe one person calls for tits.

But along comes a thread where you merely suspect OP might be femanon and holy shit. You're out in droves

>>715357577
hang on fucker

Sucked on my wifes dildo until i came

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>>715357577
that's all you're getting faggot
now post a motherfucking story

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>>715358551
A balls shot? Good enough.
Today OP wasn't a faggot...well, he is a faggot but...nevermind.

>>715358693
kek. I can't get it up rn and more of a grower than a shower. haven't even trimmed the hedges. wasn't planning on doing a timestamp today.

my original plan was to get hard and timestamp my dick for the lulz but that didn't work out.

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Carried my drunk gf to the car because she was drunk af, she ended up puking on herslef so I stripped her down and threw her in the shower and then carried her to my bed and tried to put a shirt on her but fuck it too hard... She rolled over and spread her legs... LIGHT BULB, I go and get my lube and end up fucking her passed out pussy for a whole 5 min before busting like no other hahahaha wanted to do anal but she would know with a blown out asshole


Still doesn't know

>>715358972
pretty decent of you to do that much for her. I mean kinda shitty you drunk raped her but hey. It didn't even occur to you till she was in fucking position (literally).

>>715358972
I have done this, but with my sister

I had this knockoff iPod called an iRiver or something with an inbuilt recorder. Used to hide it in this spot under the bathroom vanity when female friends or my sister's friends where around so I could hear the sound of them shitting/pissing.

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>>715359111
Haha right had to get rewarded some how

>>715358972
she knows. that or you're full of shit, or she didn't say anything out of shame

>>715359120
you have pics of you sis???

Sounded my urethra past the prostate and to the bladder sphincter with a piece of 3-core electrical flex

Tried electrostim, but it does nothing for me - I find it uncomfortably harsh

Managed to milk my prostate with a posidrive screwdriver handle

Made a vagina with an inflated condom and jar top then used it with lube - a bit harsh on the glans but orgasms were had

>>715359789
haha, fag

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>>715359710
Naaa she doesn't know wiped her pussy of all the lube and went to sleep..

Next morning "Anon why am I naked bb?
Me: You puked last night from the bars so I threw you in a shower, have you ever tried putting a shirt on a lifeless body?
her: Truuuu

Never found out

>>715359901
Actually, no. Never touched another man and I'm married.

Just wanted to make some fap and edge sessions more.........interesting

>>715359726
I'm not putting them on here, no way do I want her recognized or get them traced to me

Watched my wife fuck my car while giving me a hand job

>>715354626

I bang tranny hookers

>>715357115
its not excuse, its fact
for centuries it was rule if they is femanon looking for attention its tits or gtfo
but op didnt state gender and it could be OP faggot putting things in the pooper and newfags jump right away to tits or gtfo

>>715354922
You must be new here.

>>715358551
What the fuck.

I had an english teacher that was pretty hot when i was 14, and a couple of times when she left to the bathroom, i used to lick inside the top of her water bottle

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>>715360517
Go on! Your butthurt is making me hard.

>>715361009
He's fucking right you moron. Op was a fucking faggot. Point made

>>715360856
That is just sad

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>>715361145
Scream for me! Louder!

>>715358972

It's not rape if it's your gf, dumbass.

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>>715361264

>>715361366
It is if she wasnt willing. Can't give a verbal yes then can't be consenting. This isnt SJW bullshit. This is actually law. He could be charged with rape

>>715360086
>rule
by mail?? I have some of my sister

>>715355440
You are the Cancer here. Take your lame ass story time to another site.

My ex loved to be beaten. One day shes all drunk and tells me she wants to be beaten up before we fuck. I was hesitant at first, and the punch I threw was a bitch punch. She called me out on it, so I let one fly and her nose started gushing blood. I followed it up with a vicious hit to her gut and she doubled over. Hit her in the face two more times, and that last one was a winner because I knocked out two of her fucking teeth. Then as she lay there swollen and bloody, sobbing... I fucked her so hard. She went home and told her parents that she got jumped and robbed by some Mexicans. They took her to the hospital and filled out a police report. Had to have dental surgery. Told me it was the best thing that ever happened to her. We broke up anyway, because I refused to do it again.

>>715360169
your car? wtf!

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>>715362019
All of those pics suck. You should feel bad.

>>715361966
Let's see you timestamp faggot I already did it. Read the fucking thread

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>>715362106
>your car? wtf!
It's a troll post you numbnuts.

>>715361966
I think it was a pretty good story

>>715355011
>Fucked my Mother in Law
And she doesn't know?

What are you getting her for Christmas?

>>715358551
That's all I wanted. Gives me more to imagine your house hold objects story with.

>>715362205
>Let's see you timestamp faggot I already did it.
>>715361966
OP's right, he paid up. >>715358551 This fag is alright.

My first kiss with my step sister, our first kiss. Was like 10 maybe

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Smells like nothing but slut whoors that'll all be joining Hitler in the burning sulfur lakes when fate calls upon each and every one of your meaningless expendable souls.

>>715359789
Nice!
Most electro stings have low settings that are like static. You get those?

On holiday when I was younger (8 or 9), I met this 10yo girl and we hung out in the kids club. We would show each other our genitals like it was a game then take turns touching each other.
We went to the kids club toilet and locked ourselves in for an hour touching each other until she told me to lie down and grinded me. I had no idea what was happening at the time

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I had more than 3 people commit to leaving Earth forever.

>>715360169
Stickshift?

>>715354626
As a grad student I took one of my undergrads to a porn theatre, got an anonymous female eat her pussy and then had her suck my cock on a dias under a blacklight. Then we watched some guy orchestrate while a sequence of men fucked his wife.

>>715362609
It's a common kind of car. You need testicles in your brain to operate one correctly.

I took video once when my cute friend had uncontrollable gas after chickpea salad and sold it to an internet fart fetishist.

>>715362318
Well I was desperate for anything that would feel good. I think I first took a mag light when I was maybe 16. But it all started with a sharpie in the pooper. And that was even before I met 4chan. I think I first started Experimenting taking it anal around 14 or 15. I had to figure out how to get "clean" on my own. Once I had manage that I started fingering myself a lot. Used a lot of candles. I would go to class with makeshift but look makeshift but plugs in all day

>>715362731
Bullshit. I go to porn theaters all the fucking time and it's always just dudes there. Dude on dude faggot action.

>>715362307
>>715362401
Didnt say shit about a time stamp. I think you have me confused with someone else.

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>>715362599
>I had more than 3 people commit to leaving Earth forever.
How did you do it? Did you promise them new shoes?

Is this a confession thread? Oh boy, I have a real dousey of a confession about messing with a 17 year old when I was a little boy.

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One night my sister and her boyfriend came home while i was watching TV and they went into the kitchen to get some drinks. while in the kitchen they were doing their whole lovey dovey thing and kissing and playing grab-ass and what not, and it was unappealing to me, so i went up to my room. a few minutes later, i heard them enter into my sister's room and then some rustling occurred. i thought nothing of it, they were probably just making out again on her bed. then i heard her scream and i got worried so i ran over to her room, and opened the door, got on the floor, everybody walk the dinosaur! open to door, get on the floor, everybody walk the dinosaur! BOOM BOOM ACKLAKKALAKKA BOOM BOOM BOOM ACKLAKKALAKKA BOOM!

>>715362794
I know what one is...i was guessing that is what was fucked because it seems to be the only way she could fuck car easily. You shouldn't need testicles or a brain to understand that comment.

>>715354626
I've masturbated with the panties and nylons of all my female cousins. If they were dirty, I came in them. If clean, just a dab of precum.

I began watching internet porn regularly at age 11.

>>715362903
Neither did I, I just wanted to point out that your own opinion doesn't always reflect the majority's.

>>715362895
>Cruise homosexual theatres and do not see heterosexuals
I can only speculate that we frequent different venues. Because, you know, pussy.

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>>715363011
>...The sound of a single hand clapping...

at least you tied.

>>715363398
I know those tits!


Give me a min.

>>715362803
Kek how much did you get?

>>715362989
Do tell

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>>715363398
Found it.

>>715363512
$10, it was shit footage but I knew a friend I had would be into it

>>715362889
Haha! I used candles once too.

When I was a kid there was a sandbox next to the laundry mat in my apartment complex and I saw a line of boys with their pants around their ankles getting sucked off by a little girl slightly older than us. I was in 4th grade probably.
I got in line with the 3 other boys with pants down and an adult came out of the laundry room and started yelling. Boys were falling over trying to run away with their pants partially down and trying to pull them up I hopped the fence and immediately went to my mom and made up a story saying that I was just in the sandbox not doing anything wrong...
Basically telling I myself before I could get told on. To my knowledge nothing was ever said. Ended up moving to the Midwest months later. Never saw any of those kids ever again.

>>715363224
having internet/pr0n existing at the age of 11
fucking spoiled kids nowadays.
we had to trade SVCDs at school for 2 bucks per disk. because there was not more than one kid able to even burn shit on a CD.

>>715363224
>11
the age I lost my virginity

My 16yo neighbor became my slut for an entire summer. She tried so hard to prove herself, and I just kept pushing her further. Nothing better than seeing her reach back and help me get my cock into her ass. She moved away after that summer, but I like to think the next guy who got to have her was secretly thanking me.

>>715363279
Gotcha.

>>715363011
stale/10

>>715363011
wew

had sex with a granny

Cut some classes to go with my gf's to her house to fuck. Her father came to the house early and I had to get out through her window but I left my jacket and it was like 30 degrees outside and I had about an hour long commute through 2 buses and the father ended up seeing me anyways.

>>715363667
Dude. Don't be jealous over one of the luckiest generations.

>>715363919
>30
>-14f here rn
get on level man. Thats weaksauce
we're prob gonna have -30f before the winter is through

My dog makes me blowjob

>>715354626
>be me 19
>working at taco cabana
>overnight shift on a saturday
>drunk as fuck cuz my manager is cool as shit
>im chillin behind the store smoking a cigarette taking the trash out cuz im bout to clock out *(keep in mind i called my girlfriend to come get me cuz i was bout to clock out)
>kinda hot thick chick walks up and asks me for a smoke
>we chillin for like 5 mins
>i can tell she a freak cuz she's eyen me all sexy and shit
>ask her if she down
>bitch asks down for what?
>you down to fuck or like suck my dick?
>yea im down
>winrar
>we go behind the dumpster and i fuck this bitch for like 10 mins and she sucks my dick till i cum after
>winrar
>right when i splooge my manager walks behind the dumpster and sees dis bitch on her knees
>i jump and put my dick away
>manager laughs and tells me to go home
>i look in the parking lot and my girlfriend is literally parked 10 feet away from the dumpster.
> i walk out get in the car
>kiss my girlfriend and she asks me how my night was
>ohhhh it was goood

>>715364040
I was 16 and I had only minor muscular definition. And I only had a t shirt.

Poked around in the pants of a sleeping friend who turned out to be on her period. Felt up my sister in her sleep. Spied on her in the shower a few times. Got tons of nudes off my friend's mom's computer. Fucked an ex not but a few hours after breaking up with her.

i fucked a girl. she said she will be right back she used a strapon on me. she gave me a reach around on me. she cooked me dinner after just not hot sauce. she gave me like hot pepper flakes.

I once stuck my p in some v for r purposes

>>715364165
that is T shirt and shorts weather here
especially in the spring time

>>715363561
There was a very weird girl in the neighborhood growing up. She stole shit, set stuff on fire, was that kind of creepy juvenile. She got in trouble for public masturbation and propositioning teachers for sex, and shit like that, she was a very out of control girl.

She was cute - a tiny bubbly butt, big big tits, raven black hair, pale.

Anyways I knew her but I was always kind of told to stay away from her.

I was allowed to go to the park alone when I was 10 because this was back before the pussy state took over America.

I remember this girl was there, and I was just about to leave because my friend went home, when she walked up to me and said hi and started talking to me.

Again, I knew of her, we knew each other by name, but we weren't close.

She asked me if I could keep a secret, and I nodded. She invited me to come with her beside some trees and offered to show me something nice.

She took off her shirt (she never wore bras, she was a nutter) and her pants and let me feel up her tits and ass. I remember thinking it was pretty alright, but I was also feeling very confused and concerned that this was bad or something.

She asked to see my dick and I said no, but she wrapped her arms around my waist and begged me, promising to give me $50 if I showed her.

Begrudgingly, I whipped it out of my shorts and she sucked on it and jerked it off and rubbed it with her tits. Shit felt pretty amazing actually, even back then, she was a huge slut so she was really good at it. We made out for a bit afterwards and then she fingered herself while sucking on my balls until dark.

That was the only thing we did, and about two months later she went to jail for making child pornography of her two cousins (male and female, she made them fuck each other, they were under 6 afaik).

I once had concentual sex in the missionary position for the soal purpose of procreation

>>715354626
>out camping with family
>age 9 or 10
>cliff nearby overlooking road
>grab big rock
>throw off of cliff
>thought it was cool
>find another big rock
>see minivan driving by
>toss rock over the edge
>smashes through wind shield
>van drives straight through guardrail and falls down another cliff
>ran away and cried like a bitch


Never told a soul

>>715363919
When I moved to the Midwest I lost my virginity to a girl while her parents were asleep and escaped out the window Into the fucking snow in nothing but slacks and a button up shirt. My stoned ass friends never came to pick me up and I couldn't knock on the window loud enough for my gf to hear and let me back in without waking her parents so I wandered around trying to keep warm and freezing to death until and a cop stopped me.
I told him I was in a car with friends that has been drinking and was scared so I asked them to drop me off. Cop searched my pockets and let me in the back of the car and drove me home. The 20 min drive was long enough to not be as pissed as them as I initially was because a police escort home it's a pretty cool way to end a night loosing your virginity.

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>>715354626
Nothin too crazy just beat off n as soon as i bust a nut i grip my cock up right under the head and make my dick pulse 30 times while slowly gripping myself real tight on every pulse, then as soon as i count to 30,i start jerkin again nim able to nut again almost instantly i can do it about 5 times in a row! I dont tell my wife cause then she will try to do it for me n ruin it!! Pic unrelated

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>>715364655

>be me around 11
>playing outside with my best female friend
>getting behind the house to hide from anyone who could possibly see us
>decide to show her my dick
>the smallest a blood penis can possibly be
>uncle rushing in on us
thefuckareyoudoinghere.jpg
>we're just looking for spiders around the house
ohok.jpg

wonder if she still thinking i have a small dick... because actually it grows pretty solid when hard...

>>715354626
my male cousin and i have been regular fuckbuddies for almost 15 years. he is older than me by two years and started me on it, but i have turned into the top in the past 10 years cause i have a bigger dick than him. on top of it he is a complete twink. we started when i was 10 and him 12. now we are both married but whenever we hang out, i pound his little ass all day long.

>>715363667
>kids these days
>cd's of porn

Nigger I had to wait for the Greek guy down the street to throw out his playboys and steal them from his trash before I could see some titties.

I let my dog lick my dick

>>715365230
We just stole them from the bookstore.

I dated a girl with cerebral palsy, for almost a year. I never introduced her to my friends or family. Just took her out and fucked her. I loved seeing her cum and make these retard faces. She was actually really cute and funny, but sounded like she had brain damage. When we broke up, she said that she would probably never find another bf, and that she didn't care that I kept her a secret because she was having fun and loved the attention.

>>715364114
dirtyyyyy

>>715365230
titties were nothing special here in germany. we had youth magazines to legally portrait naked 14yo those times. today its 16+.

but the first time my buddy brought a CD with a lesbian pool scene... awesome. but no, we didnt jerk together. we just agreed on how weird that pussy looked

>>715354626

I was a filthy pervert as a teenager who wanted to have a huge dick so I did PEgym penis exercises and now my cock 8 1/2 inches

Yes they DO work if you stick with the routine

>>715364495
What do you mean by pussy sate?

dog sat for this woman. coaxed the dog into fucking my ass. first couple times I had to put him on my back. The big guy loved it and quickly learned to hop on.

The first time he knotted me it was a shocker moment. I knew what it was and knew it would happen but that 'oh god' moment of realization when you're about to be tied and have a knot swell to unknown size inside you. I had read on how to stop it but it felt like too much effort at the time. Lots of lube so no problem getting it in. But when he was fully knotted the fucker would pull out after a couple minutes. And my god was that hard on the ass. but such a turn on.

he would pull out every time. I licked his cock and sheath a bit but unsurprisingly foreplay is not really a dog thing.

The woman had two dogs and when I tried it with the second dog he wouldn't. But gave him a second chance after I'd fucked the other and the other dog got possessive. Like he didn't like the idea of the of the other dog fucking me even though it had no interested.

>>715358972
ah, an Austin fag...

>>715365773
Name of some of those magazine's? For science.

>>715354922
Are you dumb you faggot look in bottom left corner

>>715366310
He means America is a nation of Pussies now.
Sheltered, Coddled, Participation Prizes Pussies.

>>715366776
bravo (dr.sommer)

>>715364495
Hnnng nice

>>715362310
Therapy

>>715362019
Im currently stealing videos from my stepmoms and dads homemade porn folder. Couple of 100 gigs so far

>>715364525
DISGUSTING. You should be castrated, hung, drawn and quartered.

People like you are ruining this fair country. Won't somebody think of the children??

>>715362011
holy shit 11/10

>>715364639
Some idiots have been doing this for months in denmark now (on a highway). Cops never caught them

>>715365608
You should have kept her as your side bitch.

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>>715362011

>>715362932
Just made them a few drinks

>>715355011
Greentext that shit anon

>>715354922
This is /b/, OP is almost definitely a male faggot.

when I was really young, my mom got remarried. my step sister and I met at like 6. when we were older she told me about porn, about how she found it by looking up 'bad words'. we would watch it together while our parents were upstairs. things escalated after that, a lot. we tried recreating porn because that's how we tried to understand it. there wasnt a lot of lesbian stuff that we saw so one of us had to be the guy, but we didnt like that, so we just did mutual masturbation. we only kissed once and it was too weird, so we both stuck to dry humping stuffed animals.
my mom and her dad divorced, so we're not technically siblings any more, but it feels weird thinking about it. we havent talked about it at all.

>>715364495

Lol, she'd have to pay you more than $50 if you had gone to the police.

My sister's best friend made me her bitch in bed for 4 months

>>715355651

I believe you, nigger.
When I was 7, a neighbor girl and I (she was 7 also) did the same thing. I even put it in her and moved around... I don't think I was physically able to cum.
it went on for maybe a year, and I finally told my younger brother (1 year younger) to "check out this neat thing that Stacy and I do,"
As soon as he saw the pussy, he ran to my mom and ratted us out. Little faggot.

>>715365230
This.

Best I had for years was stealing pinup posters and shit from my best friend's older brother's room. In retrospect he probably would have given me mountains of titty mags if I'd just asked.

But the struggle of trying to download porn over a 14.4 line... and I'm talking pictures you faglets, not this full-movies-streaming-for-free porn paradise you weaboos have grown up with

>>715369403
the motherfucking struggle was real, /b/ro.

>>715355651
I thought this was a don't mention genders thread?
Now im confused.

File: He's_Right_You_Know.jpg (52KB, 640x478px) Image search: [Google]

52KB, 640x478px

>>715357163

Anybody got that greentext of a guy who stayed in the raiforest on holiday for a summer, and fucked a young one from the family he was staying with?

>>715369403
Remember lime wire and it taking two days to download porn only to get infected with a virus? Life lessons there bro.

>>715357163
Dude seriously.
Just post yur tits and it will be fine!

>>715360190
My nigger

>>715365608
Pic?