Lets start >neighbour is tard-ess(female tard) >her parents

>be me a random retard
>show 4chan to a friend

>>715112919
I used to browse this board every day.

I Killed a dog poisoning some meat

>be me
>be 22
>break up with gf of 3 years
>cries and she says she's pregnant
>tell her I'll stay with her IF she gets abortion
>take her to clinic
>tears.webm
>she walks out in a mental mind fuck
>driving home stop at pharmacy to get painkillers filled
>send her to bed and wait for her to fall asleep
>Zzzzzzz.mp3
>steal her pills and walk out
>never see her again

>>715113552
Kek

>>715113552

Stealing the pills was the icing on the cake. GG WP.

>>715112919
don't know if truly evil but I dropped a load into the urn that held my grandmothers ashes

>>715112919
got drunk and ended up fingering 11-year-old neighbour girl's ass in her treehouse.

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Everyone has fun but me

>>715112919
There was a guy who had been neglected by his parents, had ASL and assburgers. He considered me an ony me a friend, cause I put up with him. One day I couldn't handle it anymore, dud would talk about his grandmothers tit or his fucking cat like it was a person. always talked about how he fights with his mother and how he better than everyone else.

One day he sits down during one of my free periods and starts talking. I eventually out an earphone in and just play games hoping he would leave. I never even looked at him jut said "uh huh,really, okay" ever once in a while. He stayed for over an hour, and at several points he nearly broke down crying, projecting his feelings onto his cat and shit.

I not only didn't care but never responded beyond "uh huh". He might as well have been talking to a brick wall. I eventually left.

Never felt bad about it at all. Dude was a lost cause.

>>715113788
Quite evil. Why'd you do it?
>>715113515
Why though? I wish you guys would be more detailed. Without knowing the whole story, specifically your motivations, we can't gauge how evil the act really was.
>>715114019
Not evil, just hot. Story time?

>>715114598
dude that was you? poor guy, i know that kid, he later grew up, walked back into school, pulled his pants slightly below his ass and became a nigger

>>715112919
Came in my teacher's water bottle then filled it with vodka and spit in it
It was about 85% vodka.
In my defence, she was a bitch

>>715114019
Greentext?

>>715112919
Babysat two kids for my aunt. Use to get the kids to brush their teeth before bed then make them drink a glass of OJ proclaiming it would make them big and strong.

They have done it so much that they are used to taste. I don't know why I did it, but it's funny to me. Otherwise I treat the kids better than my aunt.

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>>715113552
Damn bro!

>>715113190
You are disgusting. Stop breathing

>>715114671
I did it cause I am edgy as fuck and hated my grandmother I would have shit in it but that would have left a smell

did a driveby out the car window with a bb gun, shot this elderly woman walking with a cane on the sidewalk.

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>>715115061
My sides...

You are a god among trolls

>>715115153
You said you did shit in it. That's what dropping a load means. Did you mean you came in it? That's blowing a load. Was your grandma abusive or something? Why'd you hate her so bad?

>>715112919
I use to trick my neighbors kid into sucking my dick all the time and pretty much took advantage of every girl I knew as a child before they knew anything about sex.

Not truely evil but a menace.
>Be 16
>Find dad's unused can of foam insulation
>Bored and see neighbors expensive lawnmower
>Spray foamed ignition
>Put some under the pedal
>Sprayed some in area above the blades
In hindsight it was like $60 worth of damage but was fun hearing the neighbor scream the next day

>>715112919
Eh I've done tons of bad shit. Stealing peoples Christmas gifts... Drugged my girlfriend and robbed her. Robbed this broad that passed out (she took me to her apartment and after we fucked she passed out, so I stole a buncha her cds and dvds) I fingered these 2 broads that passed out at my buddy's apartment ....

I'm a former wrestling champion and a very good boxer. I only weigh 150 lbs so it's hard to tell.

>I provoked a very big guy to attack me,I punched him so hard he ended up in a hospital fighting for his life. I went to prison. Fun times.

>>715112919
>be 19
>live with father and stepmother
>stepmom has this little chihuahua that annoys me
>when no one's around to see, I fuck with it for lulz
>half-assed try to kick it. tweak its tail. put it in a pillowcase and knot the end shut.
>dog becomes really afraid of me.
>everytime I get near it it makes obvious fear gestures, shakes, adopts submissive posture, pisses itself
>can't explain it away if they ever notice, so just try to avoid the chihuahua
>know this can't go on forever
>wait till parents leave one afternoon
>go outside and grab dog
>take in inside
>kill it with a hammer
>clean up the blood and take the corpse outside
>lay it on the driveway, run it over with my car
>tell parents it was an accident, that ran under my wheels as I was pulling in and that I didn't see it
>they're sad, but they believe me
>never suspect that I killed it on purpose or ever mistreated it.

>>715116485
Holy shit anon, listen to your dark voice more.

>>715115542
I cummed on her ashes, fuck her she was always giving me stupid shit like sweaters and stupid 5$ checks, wtf was I supposed to do with fuck 5$, wouldn't even buy me a dime bag Shit man she was out of it

>house next door is for sale
>move sign across street

Muahahahah

I once went to my local store and peeled of the label for a jar of mustard and put it on a jar of peanut butter.
Just think about that poor fool that thought he was getting mustard but put peanut butter on his hotdog.

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I don't seed torrents

>have an older sister
>she's bipolar and a known pathological liar
>tried to get her to wincest with me one time
>she flipped out and had a little bipolar episode over it
>told the entire family
>i denied it
>i'm known for being honest to a fault
>everyone takes my side
>sister has a nervous breakdown and ends up committed to psych ward for 6 months
>didn't even feel bad about it

>>715116485
What the fuck dude, you killed a poor animal for no reason. Fuck you

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>>715116763
You type like a chattering nigger talks. What the fuck is wrong with you people?

>>715112919
Tried to kill my cousin.
I was 10 at the time.
He had been bullying me for years by that point and one day I just snapped and pushed his face into a leather couch so he couldn't breath.
His struggling had gotten pretty weak by the time my aunt pulled me off him.

>>715117403
How's your relationship with your cousin now?

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>Be me. 24.
>I told this gf she was pretty... she was a 7/10.

I feel bad about it.

>>715116485
Hope you die

>>715117071
truly a monster.

>>715117622
I haven't spoken to him since 2006.

>>715117108
So, she turned you down, and if she did not wincest and you did not force wincest, then she should have let it go, not use it as an opportunity to fuck you over.

>>715117793
i misread her being a huge slut as meaning she'd go for some wincest. apparently she chose then to have a moral stand and not when she was fucking her stepson.

but, that's who she is. she's a bitch and will spread things like that to try and get sympathy and make people love her more. the problem is that almost everything she says toward this aim is a lie. this time, it wasn't, but she cries wolf so much that no one believed her and i got off scot-free.

>>715117268
No, I *tortured* a poor animal for no reason. I *killed* it to hide the evidence of that.

Jesus Christ, reading comprehension, man.

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>>715112919
>>>715117268
>Jesus Christ, reading comprehension, man.


My. Sides.

>>715118048
u r so edgy...do us a favor and go hang urself

>>715116763
>she was always giving me stupid shit like sweaters and stupid 5$ checks

She was giving you things... interesting

>>715117623
7/10 is pretty.
It's not beautiful.

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>>715118048

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>Caught a video of some autist neighborhood kid.
>Literally fucking a dog.
>Blackmail ensues.
>Force him to take nudes of his 19, and 21 still living at home sisters.
>One day he doesn't show up where we agreed to meet.
>Told one of his sisters that I blackmailed him.
>I explained that I had no clue what he was talking about.
>I explained that my video camera i use to watch my back yard caught it, and when he found out he tried to bribe me not to show anyone.
>She apologizes to me, I jerk off to vids of her in the shower later that day.
>Kid outed as dogfucker.
>Near maximum profit.

>be me
>le smoked a nice weed xd

>>715118037
well, you probably should not have tried to get wincest (moral fags whatever), but if you didn't get it, otherwise no harm done, yada yada... time to move on.

Sometimes just asking will cause the shit to hit the fan I suppose. r.

>>715118470
continuation + details
This was around 2008
back then they just said he had a "learning disability."

>>715118470
>>Literally fucking a dog.

Absolutely no way for him this to come out good, no matter how it came out... this is funny as fuck.

fucking win

>>715114914
There was more than enough alcohol in there to disinfect your spit and render it harmless to her.
>TLDR-not only was I petty and immature, I'm also too fucking stupid to ever do anything successfully.

>>715118861
There are plenty more stories from the same time period. Seriously, my life was near "Disturbia" levels of neighborhood fuckery.

>>715116438
same but im 225 and look like I still box, so its a little harder, but if I hold my shoulders slumped and talk shit, by the time I square them back up and get in stance, you can tell they know, but by then they've already committed.

>>715116485
What a madman, i like dogs but chihuahuas are annoying

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>>715114914
>85% vodka.

10% cum, 5% spit?

>>715115924
Hi Tyrone

>>715118596
yeah, more or less. she didn't die and never brings it up now. i'm pretty sure she convinced herself it was a manic delusion. top kek

but yeah, i learned my lesson. i was only about 19 at the time, much older now.

>>715115061
Coating your cousin's teeth with acidic sugar right before bed.... niiiiice

>>715119014
I know that feel.
Then boom, knife in the gut. Yeah boxer boy, go be a big tough guy somewhere else.

>>715115322
100 points!

>>715119129
>>715118037
>>715117108

What did your efforts consist of when it happened? Just asking or more?

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>>715116763
wow you sound like a fucking faggot.

I guess its easier to be a faggot than be grateful for family that cared about you huh?

You're probably white and 14 years old

>>715118037
>and not when she was fucking her stepson.


How did you find this out and how did you not turn this into profit?

>>715116485
This is very wrong. If you killed a small animal for no reason you will have no problem killing a people. Dont kill people

This'll probably be a mess of a story because there's a lot to it but... here we go.

>about 15 or so at the time
>love dogs
>family finally moves into a house with a yard, but no fence
>get dog
>fucker was huge and ran wild
>try to keep him inside
>near a dangerous road, everyone speeds
>he escapes and dies from blunt trauma
>mom feels bad, says we'll get a puppy when I'm ready
>figure a pup would be fairly easy to train and used to keeping inside
>my mom brings home not one but two puppers
>one male, one female
>my dad said some shit about having one for him and exercise, dad talk I guess
>i take the male

fast forward a little while and I've discovered 4chan

>grandma moves in with us
>parents cant stand it
>also sick of dog
>buy trailer and stick it in backyard
>have to put dogs outside on short chains for a while
>me, brother, and grandma live in it
>grandma eventually dies
>loving dogs and having the room now I say fuck that and take them both into the trailer with us
>neither dog has been fixed
>found my first beast thread

Struggling with teen bullshit and my sexuality I denied any appreciation of that and tried to ignore it.

>the female dog fucking loved any kind of attention
>the struggles
>teen angst
>probably just a freak or something
>fucking 4chan
>proceed to dry hump the shit out of her one day
>came in my underwear
>proceed to hold guilt and basically beg my parents to care for that dog
>keep the male, I ain't no faggot
>years later I accept my bestiality traits

Besides that, I think if me and my brother hadn't gotten 3DS's around that time with Ocarina of Time my grandma might not have died.

Instead of checking on her like I was suppose to that night I stuck my head in there for just a brief second and heard her "breathing" and asleep. So I just assumed the best and went on my merry way playing OOT.

Following morning my mom comes by to see us. Checks on her before she leaves and it's apparent she had a stroke at some point that night.

>>715112919
I burned a cross on a nigger's lawn. I mean he didn't really have a lawn, we lived in an apartment complex and his place didn't face any of the grass, but I put it on the sidewalk in front of his door. And of course it was necessarily a small cross; I made it out of popsicle sticks and put it in a clay pot full of dirt. But it was a cross, it did burn, and he was a nigger. So I can say I did it.

>>715119053
Only yappy chihuahuas are annoying and they aren't yappy when you train them, he killed a dog for fun like a piece of shit

>>715119285
I also train in knife fighting now, its most of the reason I quit boxing because edged weapons are so much more... edgey. Also I have a ccw and carry every day, but if someone is really pissed enough to walk up and stab me with no telegraph or talking shit first, then I had it coming.
But why did that elicit such a negative reaction out of you, something you want to talk about, anon? We're here for you, bud

>>715116763
No words. Just...

whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat

Teacher back in grade school, mean as fuck, always kept a bottle of vodka in her filing cabinet. Snuck in her room and added lighter fluid. Put her in the hospital. When the school found out she was drinking on the job fired her ass. Lost job and pension. Teach her to fail my ass.

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>>715115924
So you a thief and a rapist got it.

wsa at a party with alot of heavy drinking
was first to wake
emptied all wallets i found
rich af
pretended to sleep
everyone mad af
"wake up"
buy a ps3 and a tv next day
profit

>>715119545
Not true. He did it because he is a power less faggot who could never intimidate a human.

Killing a tiny dog must have made him feel like a god for the only time in his life.

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Back in college...
>Roommate is a douche Never pays bills.
>Late on rent. Late on utils. Including cable.
>Hate all his friends.
>He decides he is gonna throw a big superbowl party.
>No way I am staying for that.
>Me and other roommate find a different superbowl party to go to.
>Superbowl Sunday, on our way out, I walk around to the side of the house and unhook the cable connection from the street.
>No TV channels inside. LOL.
>Calls us freaking out.
>"No clue man. Did you pay the cable bill?"
>All his friends at the party are super pissed and hate him.

He ended up joining the military bc no one really liked him. He died in a roadside ambush in Iraq. Oh well, he should've paid his cable bill.. LOL.

>>715114314
You're not alone.

>>715119596
That's worth something

>>715119545
Again with this "no reason" shit. See >>715118048

And of course I'd have a problem killing a people, the logistics of a successful genocide are mind-boggling. I just don't have the resources to kill an entire people.

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>>715115924
almost guaranteed you're black. You certainly fit the black stereotype. Really wish we could just annihilate your race from this Earth.

>>715119610
Because you said
> but if I hold my shoulders slumped and talk shit

So you are the one talking shit and starting shit, so you deserve getting gutted. The only way you people learn.

Saw someone posting nudes of a girl that went to my school a few years ago, posted her name. Facebook, phone number and address

>>715119579

So, you like bestiality, so what? Keep the greentext flowing, faggot

>>715118048
lol you're a faggot dude

>>715119610
Yeah,just stop typing m8. You are just makjng yourself sound like even more of a tryhard faggot, regardless of whether it is the truth or not.

>>715118470
So you gonna post the videos of his sisters or what?

>>715119394
>be 19 years old
>sister is at my house, just us
>talking normally
>gently steer the conversation toward girlfriends and sex
>i was a virgin at the time and said so
>told her i was scared of having my first time
>she reassures me everyone's first time is pretty bad
>still though i'd like to have my first time with someone who won't laugh at me or make fun of me for being bad
>ask if she'd be willing to help me out and give me a good first time, show me what to do to make a girl feel good
>she is blown away and just starts repeating "but i'm your sister!" and starts crying
>genuinely hurt that i'd even ask her
>i felt bad for asking for one microsecond and then remembered that this is the bitch that would fuck her own stepson, suck random guys' dicks for drug money
>she storms out of the house and drives off to who the fuck knows where
>i get a call an hour later from my mom asking me what the fuck happened because my sister apparently told her everything
>forget what i actually said in detail but i basically made it seem like she misconstrued something i said and flipped out over it
>mom bought it
>sister tries to get others in the family to take her side
>mom and i straighten them all out
>her already paper thin amount of trust with the family is now gone
>she is still black sheeped over this incident and will never recover

>>715119479
it wasn't even a secret, i didn't even find out, my mom of all people told me.

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>>715116763

>>715113552
lol

>>715116485
funny, i know someone who told me that story. i wonder if its you... i will ask about that tomorrow at work, maybe you are in big trouble by tomorrow, just so you know.

>>715119596
Ahh petty crimes. Almost as satisfying as petty revenge

>>715114598
Nick Sariano?

>>715117108
I have bipolar, and I hate you. Do you know how fucking painfully boring psych is?

I told someone to commit suicide on a no-no website.

>>715117268
THIS

>>715117403
Fuck bullies!

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>>715115061
That's some good shit anon.

>>715120188
do you have any idea how much of a living hell you make life for your friends and loved ones? do you actually attempt to stay on medication and be normal? or do you drop your meds, get on hard drugs and flip the fuck out constantly? i have no sympathy for you if it's the latter.

>>715119747
Oh shit waddup ._. Talk about chaos theory

>>715120080
If I told you that story IRL, why would I be in anymore trouble if you saw me tell the same story on /b/? Are you gonna tell our manager I use /b/?

"Oh, that's it, anon's out of here! Murdering dogs is one thing, but I won't stand for employing some alt-right brony!"

>>715117108
Nobody ever told her the story of the girl who cried rape?

>>715116763
So...you came in your grandma? A bit late for wincest, but still counts

>>715119939
That's pretty much all of it and I ran out of room.

But on top of that I feel like it was part of why the male dog got "beat" by me. I held a lot of confusion and guilt over it and sadly he got the end of it. Didn't change the fact that I love him and look forward to seeing and playing with him.

Teen years are just a [spoiler]bitch[/spoiler].

I realized it wasn't the time for me to have him and now he lives on my grandfather in-laws farm. He's not that old now but I'm glad he's in a better place for his remaining years.

>>715120292
I'm an addict faggot.

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>>715117403
Not evil. He deserved that shit.

>>715119841
You need medical help. You literally made an exuse to why you killed the animal. YOU MADE AN EXUSE TO WHY YOU KILLED AN ANIMAL SO THAT IT MAKES YOU LOOK LIKE YOU MADE A RATIONAL DECITION. And then proceeded to say you dont have the resources to kill a people. Who are you stop this insanity:c

>>715120292
not that guy, but im a schizo that fits your description
also a functioning adult that would prefer if my friends and loved ones would leave me alone, not the other way around.

>>715119863
he sounds like a white guy and is probably a white guy you retard

>>715120498
psych wards are for the kind of crazy that disrupts other peoples' lives. it's boring for you, sure, but it's a fucking vacation for everyone that knows you and has to interact with you on a daily basis. maybe get your shit together and at least try to manage your disorder, ever think of that?

>>715120556
Stop pretending to be simple.

KYSASAP

>>715120574
if you keep to yourself then do whatever. bipolars are incapable of this, though. they thrive on creating drama and bringing attention to themselves.

>>715120643
Then stop killing animals then pretending you have a good reason to do it fool

>>715120080
What do you get out of harming others? Also you're an idiot thinking that this is any evidence and you're even more an idiot thinking that you know recognized someone you know irl from a 4chan greentext

I was 19
Was married and had a baby.
Wife was a whore from hell.
Couldn't get her to behave.
We had these birds.
When they all left I'd put a needle in a pencil eraser.
Stab birds with it.
Torture them.
Killed birds after a few times.
Told family I knocked the cage over and they escaped.

>Asian girl i'm friends with
>Spend lots of time together
>almost have sex one night, both naked under sheets.
>She gets cold feet, and moves away for winter.
>Next summer hangs out again
>i have a girlfriend so she asks about my roommate
>Set them up because I'm nice
>Secretly jealous/hate it
>She spends the night and i hear them having sex
>Get annoyed and go in bathroom and cum on her toothbrush
>wipe half of it off.
>Hear them finish sex and get ready for bed, and her brushing her teeth.

Welp, guess his cum wasn't the only one in her that night

>>715120713
Is that sweaty palms I read?

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>be me age 13 middle school shithead
>Hate this one fucking kid
>No real reason
>Psychologically torture this poor fuck
>gets to the point where he knows I'm fucking with him but he can't prove it
>fast forward to june
>final month
>This guys grades have dropped, thinks I'm fucking with his tests
>Can't handle anymore
>Comes at me to fight for revenge or some shit
>In front of huge group of other kids
>I take the hits, figure i deserve this for doing this to him
>Teacher comes over I'm bent over the fucker had hit my face enough to break my nose
>other kids say he attacked me for no reason
>He says I've been bulling him
>I'm a weak shit who put up no resistance to getting my faced smashed
>Teach drags him to principles office, suspended and held back a year.
>ended up being charged for assault and sent to juvi.
>Mfw

>>715120706
Yeah im not him. I disagree with killing for no good reason. I argued against him earlier in the thread.
But you, sir, are demonstrably a simpleton.

>>715119610
this week, on "Things That Never Happened"

>>715119863
>stealing
>only black people do it

Could be totally no other color, especially white, right? White people never steal anything, except all the ones that do.

>me b 15
>me work in local super market stocking shelf's
>me switch labels on dog food and canned vegetables.

someone got a surprise.

>>715114598
>assburgers
Sounds unhealthy

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Halloween special greentext that i did

>>715120706
>Moral fagging this hard

Worked as an instructional aide for a special Ed 4th-6th class, not with potatoes but kids with behavior issues: bipolar, anxiety, bad parents, etc. One 6th grader who was the size of a 4th grade that looked like Mexican Milhouse/Professor Fink who constantly pushed my buttons all year, just a little shit. He breathes through his mouth, chews food like a monkey, never does what he's told, talks shit & just plain annoying most of the time. he was also a weirdo, they sent him to our class after a week in regular education because he would hump poles, chairs, lick the shit he'd find on the ground, even pressed his dick up against a teacher's leg.

Anyway at the end of the year we had a water balloon fight & I filled up a water balloon that was 50% toilet water, 50% piss. Threw it right in his face, got it in his mouth, he complained the water tasted bad, he thought it was because we used the hose near the dumpster to fill them up.

>>715121062
how does one go about collecting enough cat pee to fill a super soaker?

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>>715112919
god that is just so embarassing

>>715121144
>>715121062
Samefag

>>715118470
Reminds me of the time when WoodyGamerTag's son wanked off a greyhound on a livestream.

>be me 18
>babysit my mothers friend daughters
>12 and 15
>get told that they will go to a party
>do not screw shit anon
>fuckthatshit.jpg
>as soo as they leave , i start playin with the girls
>tell them ,to play to the house
>anona lets call the minor one
>anona you will be my wife
>anoni lets call the mayor one
>anoni says she wants to be the wife
>tell her that if she can prove me to be a good wife she will be
>doesnt know how
>tell her that we should do couples do
>end up in my room kissing and fingering her
>take her clothes off
>ask me what im doing
>tell her if it didnt felt good she could tell her mom , otherwise it would be a secret
>agreeds
>????
>profit
>start sucking her pussy
>slowly put my cock inside her
>start fucking
>she creams to fucking luod
>anona comes in and ask what we are doing
>tell her that we are playing ,she belives us
>wants to play aswell
>get her in the bed while i kiss i fuck her sister
>anoni doesnt want to keep up
>tell her that its ok , go take a shawer and sleep ,
>tell anoni if she wants the same play as her sister
>says sure it seem fun , she made silly faces
>fuck her harder than her sister
>that sweet 12 yrs pussy was heaven
>cum inside
>morning arrives as soon my mother and her friend
>she asks if anything happened
>they both say they had much fun
>holyshit.mp3
>they leave and i never heard of them again
>get 200$ from mom for being such a good son
i saw tham last month and anoni gave me this look and said that we should play as we used to , nevar regrat being a mayor pedo

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>>715121196
nah, you're a faggot.

>in high school
>draw a stupid comic and show the kids around me. they all laugh (part of the plot)
>hand it to kid we make fun of he laughs to fit in
>I tell him to hand it back to me
>switch folded paper with a folded love letter to teacher signed by kids we make fun of.
> hand back to kid we mak fun of and tell him to show MR. XXX "He'll think its funny too"
>he hands the teacher the love letter with a smile.
>teacher reads and calls him a sick fuck
>we all laugh at him and say he's in love with teacher.

>>715120292
Kek

>>715120292
I stay on my meds, and my depression makes me feel like a fucking burden every day. Happy?

>>715120375
lol

>>715120556
Mental help

Stole some candy from a store when I was 6 years old.

>>715121239

I hope your story is true anon. It brings joy to my heart.

>>715121352
you're trying, at least. that's deserving of some respect. you might wanna talk to someone about that depression, though.

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>>715112919
>me
>10
>invite boy from class to play at neighborhood park
>have crush on him
>see him riding up on his red huffy
>gets off and makes his way over
>its like a dream or movie
>taking a break from being retards
>hold his hand
>he holds mine
>we walk to the top of what seemed like a mountain (just a small hill now that I look back on it)
>go to kiss him
>he freaks out
>I beat the shit out of him
>I run off crying
skip the next day
>parents and teachers want to meet me and anon in the classroom
>he haas 2 black eyes and cuts on his face and bruises on his body
>I say he tried to touch me and I got angry and hurt him
>hes kinda scared and acting like a sperg so they believe me
>a week later he switches schools
>mfw I know the truth

>>715120674
Try viewing it as entertainment.

>>715121239
got the boner

Some years ago I was building a basement with liquid cement using a "girafe" (big pipe attached to the cement truck) when a kid, maybe 7 or 8 felt in it with his skateboard. Nobody was watching so fuck it, I didn't push the big red button. Never heard of him after. I tell myself I could have been watching somewhere else and wouldn't have noticed. Btw this retard had nothing to do here.

>>715117760
How's your relationship with the rest of your family now?

>>715116936
Half as funny as if someone made a mustard jelly sandwich, you should have tought about it

>>715120827
I'm not the guy from the story, pretty sure we're not even on the same continent, 4chan is used worldwide and someone who thinks he can recognize someone from here just shows how much an idiot this person must be.
Just get the facts:
>People usually have 100-500 different people regulary in their everyday life
>about 1%-5% are regulary on 4chan
>even less would post something
>and the chance you are online the same time
>in the same thread
You must live in a really small bubble thinking your world is THE world.

>>715120606
Yeah, I asked for suicidal ideations. No, I fucking begged to get the shit scared out of me by knives because I thought I'd slit my wrists. Then I'd die, my family would blame themselves. And despite being in heaven with Brandon Lee never be at rest because I put those I love through fucking hell. So excuse me for not just staying at home and cutting open my veins!

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>>715121239
Dude I'm rock hard. That's some storybook shit.

>>715114314
Try to make up some evil story

>>715116485
kek

>be me
>16
>stupid as fuck, could never get a job
>neighbor feels bad, hires me to watch their cats while they go visit their daughter in the uk
>go up to daughters room, go through panties and dirty laundry
>jerkin time
>see lotion bottle
>fap with panties
>cum in lotion bottle

daughter now rubs her body with my cum

>>715116485
>killed a chihuahua

youre doing God's work anon

>>715121601
>Defence mode: ACTIVATE

>>715121609
if you'd take your meds this shit wouldn't happen, retard. you have psychological problems. i'm not blaming you for having bipolar disorder, i'm blaming you for not dealing with it like an adult by staying on your medication and avoiding shitty behavior like drug/alcohol use and milking your disorder for attention.

your reply was a perfect bipolar off-the-rails drama bomb, though. well done.

>>715116485
ASPCA should kill your animal abusing ass

>>715112919
>be me
>getting lunch
>don't thank cashier
>so evil

>>715112919
>Be me
>Have dick neighbors
>Find out they're jews
>ForDaFuhrer.jpg
>Start printing out pictures of hitler and putting them in their mailbox
>Do this for a good 5 years
>One day jews dogs attack my dog nearly kill her
>Decide to get revenge
>Sneak into there house
>Find there big tv
>Spray paint giant swastika on it
>Police question everyone on block
>Never find out me
>Make sure to leave picture of the führer in there mailbox everytime I visit
>Visit 4 times a year
>Been doing this for the past 7 years

>>715121700
Wrong.

Cum sitting in lotion would begin to really fucking stink.

I know, I've done it.

>>715116485
I hope an AIDS infected nigger rapes you in the ass.

>>715120948
I'm white and i steal shit all the time

I went for a 4 year period never buying groceries, just relied on shoplifting.

The trick is to wear a decent shirt and clean suit now and again. No matter how many times you do it, there is still a bit of a thrill walking out with a carrier bag full of stolen food but I never got caught so thats good.

I cannot stress how much being well dressed and white helps you when stealing shit.

These days things are more settled down and I have a steady job and so on so there is no point in stealing a weeks worth of food any more but my wife gets pissed with me cos I will always grab a few candies or grapes or shit to chew on whilst we go around shopping. Oh, well there are also a few things I never pay for cos they fit easily in my pockets

I try not to steal stuff from people around me any more except the usual; lighters, cigarettes, wives, books, dvd's and so on.

>>715121979
even better :^)

>be me, 18
>Drum major of my marching band
>after season is over, 14yo clarinet player confesses love
>date her for a week
>both say we love eachother
>shitanonyoufuckedup.jpg
>realize it's getting out of hand
>I don't want to go too far sexually and get us in trouble
>plus parents are good catholics
>break up with her at her house before we went to see the Nutcracker
>Drive back to my house and played overwatch

We're on good terms now, but I felt horrible at the time.

>>715117108
That's not even evil you didn't rape her she turned a simple suggestion into a giant thing you were in the right

Made spray paint flamethrower.
Went to neighbors housr.
Unleash flamethrower at base of tree in front yard.
Tree catches fire. It breaks eventually and falls on top of their new Chevy Avalanche. I run back home. Never to be caught.

>>715121484

You're so fucking demeaning that it's unreal. Fuck yourself. This guy doesn't care about your shtity platitudes you normiefuck

I came in the frying pan before cooking bacon for my family.

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>>715113552
Damn anon that's some cold ass shit right there

>>715117760
Kek

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>>715113552
Fuuuuuck....

>>715120053
she might have really cared about you if she reacted like that. What do you think?

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>>715122140
>I'm white and i steal shit all the time
>grab a few candies or grapes or shit to chew on whilst we go around shopping

The Whitest kid 4chan knows

Watched my uncle die after the bank proved he didn't have the finances to buy my kidney.

>>715121700
>go up to daughters room, go through panties and dirty laundry
>jerkin time

jesus i lost hard. thank you anon

>>715122176
Wow. What a life you have had.

>>715112919
I did some gross stuff in a cemetery and touched girls when they were asleep when I was younger. Working on doing bad stuff today. I have a death wish

>>715121879
fuck u nigger

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>>715121144

It was not easy, but i teached my cats (4 to be exact) to pee in a small bathtub for pets, took 2 weeks (I only fed them tuna and water) to fill it halfway there , then I took a plastic bottle, fill it, and load the gun for the operation

BTW those kids throwed eggs at my house for 3 consecutive years, I gave them candy to calm them down, but they did the same shit to just piss me off, so I was planning that little revenge on that day

>>715116485
You should just kill people no point killing a chihuahua

Used to throw dead rats in neightbor swimming pool but he manager to removed them easyly. Found another plan to fuck with him :
Toad + firecrackers + slingshot

I made rain Toad juice in his swimming pool several times

>>715119419
What does race have to do with anything you fucking racist

>>715122298
hmm.. yeah. In my 20's we were stealing tv's, dvd's, music players, bikes, anything we could sell really.

Now I'm 35 and I steal candy from shops.

It feels good to be white though.

>>715114914
Are you 14? You realize she would smell the vodka the second she opened the water bottle.

>>715122208
im choking on all these keks

>be me, second school year
>small, but not weak
>autismo was on perma
>this fat, big girl kept mocking me and pushing me around
>noone knew i was doing martial arts, because i never fought back
>i was afraid i might damage someone enough to get throws out of my dojo
>one day, whilst i watched the other kids from my spot playing fat girl decides that its time to fuck with me
>she pusches me, i fall
she sits on me, pushes me in the ground and spit in my ear
>i start crying, she is so heavy, i can´t move
>finally she leaves, the others laugh and noone helps me
>i fucking snap like i never sanpped before
>autistic scream.mp3
>still don´t attac her
>she is happy and laughs, at my rage
>she attacs and im hurt
>i kick ker knee
>hard
>it snapps in the wrong dirction
>i kick it two more times whilst she screamt in agony and leave
>everyone is shocked
>guess who never apologised

>>715122203
i could've come clean about it, that would've been the moral and honest thing to do, but i didn't want the entire family thinking i tried to fuck my biological sister, even if she was only my half-sister. she suffered greatly so i could avoid embarrassment and being ostracized by my family.

>>715122214
wow, you're real fucking buttangery aren't you?

>>715122291
she does care about me, i'm her favorite brother, which is why i put two and two together (favorite brother + huge slut) and figured she'd go for it. i guess i was wrong and found her line of morality.

>>715119677
lmao you fucking nigger

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This.

I cry myself to sleep every night.

Be 16
Teacher was gonna fail me for year
Call school office
Say she has and emergency call
She leaves room
Change all grades in her computer to pass everyone
Dump full bottle of eye drops in her coffee
I pass
She was in hospital for one week

>>715120151
Wtf, who are you?

>>715119623
Rapist got what?

An old neighbour once told me off because I took a leak on his back yard gate when playing out as a kid. He's super obsessed with his garden and his flowers and anyone who came near them. He even sprayed my cat with a hose pipe when it wandered in his garden. Never liked him and his attitude after that.

recently his wife of like fifty years died of cancer and all he has left is his garden. Youd see him in there most of the day Sat outside by his garden and his flower memorial for his wife.

I poured old red paint from my garage over his wife's picture outside and salted the ground so everything would die and nothing would ever grow again. Man, that was a fun night when I was wasted.

The cherry on top was meeting his granddaughter a few weeks later who was staying with him because he was seriously devastated and upset. I introduced myself and recently we fucked and she said I was a good neighbour for looking out for him and the old bastard himself actually thanked me.

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>>715122798

>>715120375
>"Oh, that's it, anon's out of here! Murdering dogs is one thing, but I won't stand for employing some alt-right brony!"
My sides

>>715122827
Shit, do you go to CD?

>>715116485
Damn man I don't like small dogs but damn

Broke into my Brothers, sisters house one night and proceeded to piss on her dog.

>>715120784
>I was 19
>Was married and had a baby
There your first mistake right there

>>715120839
Diabolical

>>715120375
We will see about it. I think you're personnel file will provide phone numbers of your relatives so that people can be notified of what you did.

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Im so evil.

>>715122311
>>715120977
check em

>>715122654
the aftermath wasn´t funny
fat girl spent three days in hospital
her leg was obvoiusly broken and some other shit i could not understand at that time and can´t remember
she left my school, i was miracolously allowed to stay
got thrown out of my dojo
at least the others respected me after this

>>715121239
>>715121239

an 18 year old fucking a 12-15 year old is not pedo though

>>715122176
>>715122176

Why did you break up you angsty moron?

>>715116936
You motherfucker!!! I bought that shit!!

Be me,
I had a retarded roomate.
Late on rent ss usual.
Get sick of him.
Wait til hes asleep
Pull down pants.
Proceed to fuck about 1700$ late rent from ass.
Kek , hes crying
Throw a computer at him and kik him out

Probably not the most evil, but the most recent:
>Be college student living on campus
>Hate having to use public bathrooms because there's always at least one obnoxious goon panting and sweating in a stall at a time
>Said goon will be sure to stay in the stall as long as I desire to have my own private time to poop
>Unless I go into the bathroom to fix my hair in the mirror or something, then the respective goon makes damn sure to come right out and stand next to me in the mirror
>When they do on the very off chance come out, they make sure to pound the paper dispenser like 50 times and spend a good 5 minutes washing their hands
>I also have performance anxiety when peeing
>Anyway, my new strategy has been pretty effective in taking revenge against the college bathroom community
>I hate these asshats out of the bathroom anyway
>So if some dude either walks in on me pooping or has already been pooping for an absurd amount of time, I simply turn off the light (most bathrooms in my school don't have window lighting) to make everything pitch black
>I leave to the sounds of "YO!" every time
>Tfw the only thing I miss from back home is my private poop time.

>>715122827
If I was right, the kid you're talking about still goes to my school. I was in the same situation as you with him in middle school. Now a days he hangs out with the fucking hicks. He still smells horrible and his hair is greasy as fuck.

>>715113552

Dayum

>>715116485
don't worry, it is pasta...

Was walking home from dealers house when I was 17.
Long walk mostly uphill.
Wishing I had a way to make walk easier.
Fat kid on skateboard falls down in front of me.
Starts crying he broke his leg call his mother.
I picked up his board and skated away while he cried.
Got to last hill and tossed the board into a creek.

>>715122827
shit just got real dog

>>715123255
AHAHAHAHAAHAHAHASDASJDAHSAHAHQAHHAAH SO FUCKING FUNNY AGAHAA XXDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

>>715116485
well now we know why your mom left you

>>715121484
I've only been trying to prove to you I'm taking care of my own shit this whole time.

>I was 17
> Neighbours cat is annoying and pissing and shitting on our yard
>Barrow a trap from another neighbour
>Catch the cat in the trap
>I kill the cat and skin it
>Put it in a box with its skin next to it
>Take the box to its owner
>Wait until they notice the box
>Watch their reaction from afar
>Watch them brake down
>They never caught me for doing it

My roommate in college kept eating my food so I took the labels off tuna and put them on cat food. He ate 3 cans before saying they tasted off.

>be me fucked in the head after years of abuse
>girlfriend of 5 years moves in
>always fighting
>we're both pieces of shit
>in an argument and she goes to open the garage
>she's giving me a dirty look and cursing at me
>go 2mph and hit her pinning her between my car and the garage
>back up and take her to the hospital
>say the car jumped and idk why
>broken leg shattered tibuila and fibula
>wait while she gets a metal rod put in her leg
>3 hours later she's high as hell
>we're getting married in January 2018 on our ten year anniversary

I pissed in a bottle of olives from my father, all family was eating from there, even some of my dads friends, im carrying this to my tomb.

>>715116936
>>715116936
SIRE I MUST THANK YUOU!

I HAVE NEVER TO KNOWN WHO TO THANK FOR THIS HAPPY ACCIDENT

I COME HOME TO PUT MUSTARD ON HOTDOG BUT WAIT IS PEANTUBUTTER!

I AM SO CRAZY I TRIP AND KNOCK OVER CRACKER JACKS ONTO HOT DOGGY

AM SO ANGRY AND SAD I TRY IUT ANYWAY

IS DELISH!!!!

NEXT DAY I START NEW BUSIONESS MAKE HOTDOG CART NOW HAVE OWN TRUCK VERY FAMOUS LOCAL!

http://m.shortleashhotdogs.com/Menus/8040/Categories/16570/MenuItems/72989

>>715118182
Hows the first day going?

Prepare your mental anus /b/rothers
>be me, a 19 year old autistfag with time to kill (3 months ago btw)
>see a 10/10 qt 3.14 at walmart
>boner.jpg
>"hey. Im anon, and i wanted to talk to you cause i thought you were cute
>we talk for a while,she give me her number
>fuckyes.apk
>we see each other for a week orso, then i ask her on a date and she agrees
>cut to the date
>im nervous as shit, so i take some mnts my buddy gave me
>its at a restaurant, with an outdoor patio, which is where me and qt 3.14 are sitting
>we eat our dinner and go on a walk
>then...it begins
>ohgodno.rar
>im sweating and clenching my bootyhole to contain the shit
>qt 3.14 is talking about something, cant remember
>openthegatesofhell.png
>a tsunami of shit flowed out of me
>it was. awful.
>suffice to say, we didnt talk much after that

>>715123341
>What is the united states?

>>715123870
please don't breed

>>715123946
wow nice you shit yourself at dinner?

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>>715120948
Being a nigger isn't just about color. I know several white niggers.

>>715121827
"Oh someone having feelings instead of repressing them like they should, drama!" How do you think I got this way? Years of indoctrination in school being told I wasn't supposed to have feelings. Having feelings made me a bad person. That's emotional child abuse.

>pre-internet time
>games copied on floppy disks from friends to friends
>rename the .exe of every game that doesn't break with them
>create a .bat with the original exe files name that creates a folder called "anon rules" in their games folder before starting the game.

I'm not very evil.

>>715123871
Everyone telling my dad how delicious olives where

>>715123391
I feel you so hard bro.

Be 26. Been a hunter since age 6.
Last year was my final time out in the woods. On a boar hunting trip in Tennessee. I see boar about 50 yards away. Blast her. Walking up to dress her. I notice all of her piglets trying to get the last remaining milk out of her. I am crushed. It is probably ten degrees outside. Snow on the ground. The piglets definitely starved, froze, or were consumed by a larger predator. I don't think I will hunt again.

>>715124059
>Having feelings
Found the woman

>>715124012
Trying not to

>>715123759
depression isn't good, though. i hope you can get help for it.

>>715117403
how old was the cousin when he was sucking couch?

>>715124238
Stop being a fucking pussy that's how nature works

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>>715119677

>>715121239
Man I don't remember being THAT naive when I was neither 12 nor 15 yo, I call bullshit

>>715124014
oh it was more than that.
i shat myself in the dining area, with at least 30 people in my immediate vicinity. it smelled like fucking sewage. she screamed and ran from the goddamn table.

>>715123797
DIE MOTHERFUCKER, DIE!

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My contriboot. Not evil but very juvenile.

>playing outside with nephew
>be 12/13
>hot summer day
>see this 67' corvette c2 convertible being washed up by an old man
>go home get sandwich bags
>pull on bags like gloves and find some steamy old dog turds
>its still fresh and moist but kinda cold
>walk back to the car hiding the poop surprise
>rush last steps up to car and smear all over windshields
>run the fuck away
>go back to check on it a while later
>car still unattended, poop got hard and crusty due to sun

Man. Those were the days. I wish I could've seen his face when he found out though.

>>715124059

I know how you feel. My father was a narcissist, and the only one allowed to have emotions in our household. Everyone else was literally forced to smile because he would get angry if we didn't pretend a happy home for him.

I think is most creepy and horny than evil, but anyway...
I wanted to see my gf and her hot sister fucking, so I put some drugs and shit on their drink. When they were totally fucked up, I dared them to fuck each other. And man, they did. They did. The whole lesbian show, ass-to-ass and everything.
We never talk about that night. They think all three went completely drunk and things get out of hand lol

>>715124346
You wouldn't know. You've never killed anything besides a case of Mt Dew.

>>715123891
roflol

>>715119067
you must be retarted on purpose, are you

>>715124059
bipolar feelings are incorrect feelings, though. your brain is wrong. you need medication to fix that. instead, you rebel and go off your meds because "i don't like how they make me feel" when in reality you just like using your disorder as a perpetual victim card and source of attention because you absolutely cannot stand not being the center of everything, positive or negative.

stop milking it. no one sympathizes with you here. you're only making your own life worse with your actions and living inside of your own delusions, as well as the lives of everyone around you. take your fucking pills, shithead. stop being a drama queen.

>>715118048
>No, I *tortured* a poor animal for no reason. I *killed* it to hide the evidence of that.

I think you had a reason. you clearly resented your step mother, and took it out on her pet. You didn't have the balls to deal with any of your parents.

Normally kids like you are abused, or sexually molested. But sometimes you are just pathetic little shits. The sad part is you will have to do one of two things in your life:

1) Take responsibility for what you did, including feeling the emotions surrounding it or

2) Continue to block it off / not feel empathy for the animal

The first one hurts like a bitch

The second one prevents you from growing emotionally - basically leaving you one of those adults who can never quite figure things out about yourself or the world around you. Maybe you'll end up drinking too much, or beat your wife a bit too hard one time, or rage at the bank teller... you know those kind of shitholes... you'll probably be one

It all comes back around.

>>715124411
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eF8c3BjFWsw

>>715124482
>Defense mode: Activate

Didn't trust my gf

>>715124519
You just love abusing mentally ill people, don't you?

>>715124238
yeah shit is cruel, and I seriously don't know why we have fucking emotions like that. how the fuck did we evolve that kind of crap.

>>715124387
that is pretty spectacular

>>715116485
You bunch of fucking cancerous niggers this is old pasta.

>>715112919
>I recently voted for Trump.

Not really evil, just douchey.
>Be me
>around 12
>Roaming village with friendo
>Find construction vehicle with the door open.
>Proceed to coat the entire interiour of the vehicle with mud and break the windows.

>>715117268
It's probs fake.

>>715124874
This isn't a things weve done for the good if mankind thread

>>715124874
>Accidentally helped save western civilisation from shitskin hordes.