Can we start another feels thread. Ive been kinda depressed and

Why try to be depressed? It wont help, I've been there. Looking at the better things in life will help in the long run, friend.

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I'll bump with some comfy/lonely gifs, i enjoy feel threads more when watching them and listening to music.

>>715089751
Sometimes finding things you can relate to can help solve your problems because you realize you aren't the only one with them and become accepting of them.

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The last time i felt anything that wasn't sadness was like three months ago. When i'm not sad, i can't feel anything, i don't know what the fuck is wrong, but i'm unable to feel other emotions right now, i just feel empty.

>>715089965

Are you kidding me? Now that's a fucking party.

>>715089965
>>715090003
why are these ones sad?
>>715089965 looks happy,
>>715090003 is an actually funny cake.

>>715089922

everything about this image is perfect

my favorite detail is that you can tell he has really shitty posture from hunching all the time

this shit is art

>>715089967
I suppose so. I've been depressed for a long time, but lately things have been getting better and these threads never helped me.

But if it somehow provides cathartic relief to you, then definitely go for it. I just don't see the point in making yourself depressed because you want to be sad

hi tyler

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I literally can't spend 10 minutes without thinking about suicide. Without being like "hey this would be a nice moment to do it". Everytime i cross a street, every time i see a knife, all those missing oportunities. I fantasize about it.

what up keith

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>>715089751
>Just be positive bro!
Great advice right there!

>>715090115
Not op btw. Just using an example of why someone would create a thread like this. Probably not his case but eh figured i'd try.

>>715089511

What the fuck is that OP? I'm all for a feels thread, but that is just retarded.

>I have low self-esteem
>Life isn't easy

These are not feels. That person is patently a faggot who needs to be shouted at.

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>>715090170
the worst is when you hit the point at which you realize you really do want to kill yourself but you'll never have the balls to go through with it.

I just want a friend to talk to. It's 12:08 AM here. I don't see myself sleeping anytime. Any anons care for a simple chat?

For the record, sadness is a symptom of depression, but so is agitation, restlessness, aggression, insomnia, overeating, and doing harm to others

>>715090749
This hit me hard.

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This was my life constantly as a kid.

>>715090700
I'm working /b/ro, have at it

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all that stress, guilt and self hate I experienced over the years made me so fucking empty that it's hard to describe. I feel trapped, like I'm in a room and the walls are crushing me. sometimes I want to fight it, but nowadays I just go with it.

I don't enjoy the things I used to, I generally came to hate people. even if one on them starts talking I'm immediately feeling like " oh man shut the fuck up and just leave me the fuck alone."

I see no way out.

>>715090937
that hurts

>>715090952
Hey man, what kind of job do you have?

>>715091178
ER doc

>>715090090
that and the wrinkles on the aging moms hands really gets to me.
There's something about kids who grew up with older parents that makes them more disconnected
Like he doesn't have that many close friends and his only real friend is like his mom

>>715091253
Sounds pretty stressful. How often are you busy in that position?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qZ_WVsP9RkE

>>715091372

every kid i knew with parents that were significantly older turned into a total sperg

>>715091412
Early week can be slow end of the week/weekends can be hell

>>715091504
What's the most common reason people go to the ER on the weekends. I'm assuming it's something alcohol related ,but I could be wrong.

>>715091412
What kind of job do you have?

>>715091648
I don't have a job currently. In DEP for the Air Force and leave January 31st. Until then I'm just living at home..

>>715091607
Drugs/alc, fights, cold outside, hungry, homeless, things people would usually just go to the regular doctor to have treated but have no insurance, children sick in the night

>>715091749
Worked 18 months in navy medical center - really enjoyed the military

>>715091757
I wasn't aware that people can go to the ER without insurance. I don't know a lot about medical insurance either though so there's that. Would those that don't afford it still be charged? How would a homeless person be charged?

I'm incredibly lonely. I've pushed my family away and I haven't had a real friend in 3 years. At this point I don't even know how to relate to people or what to talk about. I tried joining a discord group of people with similar interests. I tried talking in there at first but I quickly realized that I'm a fucking sperg who has no idea how to talk to people. I fucking need help.

>>715091749
Why you on this thread?

>>715091871
That's great. I wasn't aware that you could only do 18 months. How does the navy medical center work?

>>715091924
not ER anon, but they would probably be charged out of pocket. They don't check whether or not someone has insurance b4 they take him to the ER

>>715091983
It's great for passing time and people tend to be more open to talking sometimes. Also loneliness most of the day ,but I only have to deal with it for less than two months now.

>>715091976
talk /b/ro

>>715091924

they dont pay so the next guy that comes in gets charged $100 for a bandaid

>>715092211
>>715092078
That's a little shitty ,but I guess the hospital needs to find a way to recuperate their losses.

>>715092188
about what?

>>715091976
What interest did you join on DIscord?>>715092361

>>715092160
I like being anonymous - worked in the prison system for a while and everyone I dealt with was a liar - now I have hard time believing people - so I come here to practice trusting - I started on /b/ years ago and most people - even the assholes - were pretty much starightforward

>>715092376
[spoiler]emo horsefuckery[/spoiler]

>>715092299
federal law doesn't allow anyone legitimately in need of emergency care to be turned away - the state or county reimburses the hospital at a specific rate

>>715092455
It's probably because we have nothing to hide and gain here. Even if we did lie nothing would happen after the thread dies. Curious as to how you ended up working in the prison system. Did you just apply or did you know somebody who worked there?

>>715092471
That's an interesting interest... I can't really relate to that. You play any videogames?

>>715092658
That's good for the patients. Got any interesting stories you care to share?

>>715090310
I woulda gone. Ice Cream cake is my shit

>>715090376
Holy shit this dude tried adding me on facebook.

>>715090826
I hear ya.
I've failed out of college courses where I ACED everything the teacher put in front of me because I sabotage myself whenever i get a final

>>715089922
>>715089940
>>715089965
Pictures like this hurt so bad.

I have a big family, lots of aunts, uncles and cousins, but we're all pretty low income. We can rarely afford to buy gifts for each other, but every birthday is a huge celebration. Always lots of games and jokes and laughing. Everyone would take a bullet for everyone else. We're all really close. So when I see a picture like this, where someone feels alone or sad on their birthday, it just crushes me. I wish I could throw a birthday party for everyone. No one should be alone on their birthday.

I'm lost, I don't care anymore. I have friends and I wish I would they would leave me alone so I could die and nobody gets hurt

>>715094414
Me too anon.

>>715094596
Never happens, they can drag you through whatever "holiday" they decide on the importance

>>715094962
But I keep on holding out for the possibility that I'll one day drift apart from everyone I care about so that way, nobody feels to hurt by my passing.
I know I'm going to die at my own hand. I just want all of my loved ones to go through as little suffering as possible.

>>715089751
When sad it's enjoyable to listen to depressing music or find things on a depressive level to relate with. It's common in humans and actually natural too. If you attempt to make yourself happy by listening to upbeat music and pretending everything is okay by attempting to relate to happy good feel things then it will actually make you worse of than you begun with.

There's studies on it, if someone wants to grab them so it doesn't look like I'm talking out my ass then that would be nice.

>>715089511
I've been trying to get back into drawing, but in the past I've always drawn what's fun and what's comfortable.
If I ever make something that reflects any sort of emotion I hoard it to myself.
There's a coworker I shared my DeviantArt with and I've been working on something that's close to me in a way I've never shared, which is hindering my ability to finish it.
Until now even the fun stuff has been anonymous, but I feel so vulnerable and under a microscope even though it's just one person I know seeing it.
I'm trying to find a way to finish it and actually go through with it, but I'm honestly afraid.
This feels like a big step to being less secretive about myself, and I don't want to let it rot away in my folder when it's done.
How do I actually muster the courage to follow through with something that will make me feel so vulnerable?

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A story of my best friend´s betrayal and my former true love.

>Be me
>Be Freshman
>Popular Athletic Weaboo
>Have best friend
>Call him J
>J invited me to a group chat with his odd friends
>Meet this amazing girl
>Strike up private messaging conversation about Hitchhiker´s Guide to the Galaxy
>Fall in love almost immediately
>J gives me tons of advice and help to know the girl more, as it´s my first girl
>Month or two later, during a deep conversation, she tells me that she´s extremely depressed and that we really shouldn´t date, as it wouldn´t be in my best interests
>Tell her that it´s okay and I love her
>Begin dating
>Amazing, beautiful relationship
>Lose all my prior friends in order to become part of this new friend group including her and J and this other kid
>Fast forward almost a year
>One night, she decides she trusts me enough to disclose why she´s so full of depression and anxiety
>Physically abusive father beat her when she was little
>Verbally abusive mother STILL abuses her
>Dearly trusted uncle sexually abused her over and over whenever she went to stay there
>Tells me that if she hadn´t met me the day she did, she would have blown her brains out with her mother´s handgun
>Shows me the suicide note
>Hug her and tell her that it´s okay and I won´t ever hurt her like everyone close to her has
>Convince her to join marching band to get her more social experience and help
>She loves it!
>Spends a lot of time with J at practice (around 5 hours a day)
>J would help me sometimes when I didn´t know how to help girl during a panic attack or after a molestation nightmare about her uncle
>Fast forward a year or so later
>Be ingrained in her completely
>Love her more than absolutely anything in the word
>After a band concert, I drive her home and drop her off with a goodbye kiss and an ¨I love you¨
>Return home
>Open Messenger
>She asks if I´ve ever intentionally abused her
>Of course not, love
>Cont

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>>715089511
You'll get through it, op.

Whatever it is

>>715096791
I hope J fucked her brains out, so you would realise how disloyal women are.

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Continued

>Begin pouring tears as she has fooled herself into believing that I´ve somehow taken advantage of her
>Promise over and over that I haven´t done anything of the sort
>She doesn´t believe me even remotely
>Ask J what the hell to do
>He tells me that I´m scum and I have hurt her really badly
>I have no idea what I´ve done, if anything
>She tells me that it´s over and if I ever change, she might come back to me in a year or so
>Drink and smoke myself into fucking oblivion over the weekend
>Dead to the world on Monday
>Spend whole week dead inside
>Blocked and deleted from group chat
>Sent messages telling me to kill myself
>Realize she broke up with me only a day after my Birthday
>Drug-fueled depression intensifies
>A week later J asks me permission to begin dating the girl
>What the Fucking Fuck
>He tells me he can´t stand to see a girl be violated like I had her
>I DIDN´T DO FUCKING SHIT
>Tell him to fuck off and die
>Cheeky fucking cunt friend begins dating her anyway
>Message from girl
>Tells me that there isn´t a chance of us being together
>That she loves J more than anything
>Have to spend every second at school watching them cuddle and kiss
>Want to beat the fucking shit out of J
>Decide it´s against my best interests with being Valedictorian and doing extracurricular activities
>School formal dance two days ago
>Sat single during a slow song alone
>Watched the fucking cunt spin her around into a dip
>He looks straight into my eyes as he kisses her during the dip
>I storm out
>Forward to now
>Fucking depressed
>Fucking single
>Best friend gone

I literally wants to rip his throat out and stomp on his gaping neck hole

Not to mention I did absolutely nothing wrong and J is the ugliest motherfucker in the school

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It´s J

>>715096791
>>715097347

he's probably creampied her multiple, multiple times and thought that he's being an awesome human being because he's picking up the pieces of a girl you "broke".


so.. congrats!!

>>715097551
what a time to fucking be alive!

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>>715097347

You got outplayed buddy.
He probably had a crush on her before you joined the group, then had his heart broken when you got together with her. Everytime you ran to him for relationship help with her, it cemented his hatred for you even more, fueling his fire and helping him plan his revenge.

Women can't be trusted and they ALWAYS inevitably split up male friendships.

>>715097688
Life lessons to be learned

>>715097551

SAVAGE.

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>>715097551

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>>715097347
It's all bullshit mate. She never loved you like you think and her abuse stories are all BS.

Your story reminds me alot of my own. Biggest difference is that I beat the shit out of my J several times. He's now walking around with stitches in his head because of me. They kept dating for some weeks after me and the girl broke up, but they didn't last long. He runs away everytime he sees me now, but it didn't make anything better for me. So I'd say you did the right thing in not beating his ass, and though it's hard to realize, you're actually better off without this kind of girl in your life.

Girls claiming abuse needs to be a red flag in this day and age.
Most likely, she's just saying it to have something to blame her depressed feelings on, and to get attention/play the victim. I'm 100% sure I'm now her abusive ex as well, even though I never laid a finger on her, in a violent way.

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Darling, she doesn't care.
While you're laying awake in your bed in tears, she's not thinking of a way to fix things.
She doesn't remember what it feels like to kiss your lips.
She doesn't talk about you or how bad she misses you.
You aren't the first thing on her mind when she wakes up, and she doesn't search for your face in a crowded room.
The warm feelings you once had together are forgotten.
Sweetheart, she doesn't love you.
And chasing her only makes her ego bigger, and your pride smaller.
She doesn't love you anymore.
I'm so sorry.

Let her go.

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You give up on yourself, on trying to make yourself better, happy, on living instead of surviving, on taking risks, on being yourself, sometimes you give up on being at all... only because you know you won't find happiness, you know you don't deserve it... You expect nothing, only for the sake of not suffering any longer. It appears when you sabotage your own hope, your own dreams and every chance you get, only because you're afraid of being let down again, by yourself, who you blame for everything. About how it feels... well, most people that are afraid when they wake up, they're afraid that they'll die, you feel afraid that you will survive. You feel alone, isolated, drowning, while everyone around you is breathing, perfectly fine, like there's nothing wrong like you didn't exist. The ones that notice, they'll ask "why are you so quiet?" and you lie, you say just my personality..."; Then they ask "why don't you come out with us?" and you make a lame excuse when in reality you're afraid, afraid you'll like it and lose it, afraid you won't fit in again, afraid you'll break those walls you built just to get stabbed one... more... time... Finally they ask "Are you fine?" and you answer "Yes, just tired...", while withholding why you are tired, why you haven't slept for 3 days, all those hours looking at the ceilling, thinking of every single mistake you made, every single disappointment you had, every pain you've ever felt and how everything was your fault, how everyone would be better off without you, how you would be better off without yourself. You torture your mind, you punch yourself, you hate everything... You drift away, you walk astray, push everyone away. You get yourself inside a cold empty space, loneliness, because it's how you feel less bad, until you can't stand it anymore. You go back and forth with feeling bad and feeling horrible for days, months, years... Eventually you learn to cope with it.

>>715098230
They aren´t BS, which is the pissy part
She had scars over her back everywhere where her drunken dad fell on top of her down a flight of stairs after smashing her head with a bottle

Legal reports of her uncle and everything he´d done: the basement, the chains, the Rohypnol , all of it

I saw all of the mother´s verbal stuff, as I was over to her house a good amount

>>715098658
You get out without going out, you live without living and love without loving. The perfect hollow mix between lonely and accompanied, the numb state where you don't feel bad, you don't feel good, you don't feel anything at all, unless you have some sort of reason to snap out of it. You learn to disguise it better, you learn to give yourself to other people without giving yourself at all. You grow ever so tired of everything, night by night, somedays you just can t fake lt, somedays you want to give lt all up and scream, but all you do is just trying to get some sleep, wake up, pretend it's everything fine again and go through another day..

>>715098662
Sure, focus on that part.

Women are notorious liars, sure some of it may be somewhat true, but most likely all the stories are exaggerated a lot, accidents leaving scars get cool new stories portraying her as a victim again.. Why do you think she suddenly feels like you've abused her? It's just they way her mind works man. The last person to believe they're crazy is the crazy person.

>>715098662
She really went all out in fooling you

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vBGjSCTvK6Y

>>715098671
Shit nigga, does it even get better?
over 4 years and counting. Maybe I should just get a new gf, so that when I lose her, I can be upset about that instead of the loss of my only love..

Sure thing buddy

>>715091071
This is how i feel/felt. Started liking to this girl at work and I feel so great about everything in life, she doesn't want a bf right now (so she says) and I can't help but thinking how fucked up I'm going to feel the day she finds someone.

>>715099147
Idk man. Im 19 and struggling just as much as the next guy. I like to think someone is out there for me. Who knows

>>715099201
>she doesn't want a bf right now (so she says)

This is womanspeak for "You're not rich/handsome enough and I'm not interested in pursuing a relation with you specifically".

>>715099199
>>715090700
That was meant for you

When I'm sad I think about early childhood. Remember kindergarten and preschool. Where you didn't have a care in the world. Remember when your mother was an angel but is now old and weak. Remember playing with your toys thinking about all different things you could do and all the different things you could be when your older. But then reality hits you. As you grow older you realize the best times where back then.

>>715090266
I would go to her birthday party.

>>715099311
I like to think there are plenty out there for us both, but love as we like to imagine it, is dead in the 21st century, and it aint coming back.

And with that in mind, I have major difficulties trying to get a new gf just for some mediocre sex a few times a week. It's always mediocre because I'm not in it with emotions and all, because well, I've been dead inside for many years.

>>715099594
Yeah, several millions would, I have no idea why that's posted here. Women have easy mode, and especially girls that could pass as qt, like pic related..

>>715099325
You know what. I knew this but seeing a stranger say it makes me really feel it and get mad. I get super good weed on he lowwww. Was gonna hook her up, maybe even give her a sack for christmas. Fuck her. Thanks /b/ro.

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2MnH0bhh2fc

>>715098662
How did they say you were abusing her? What example did they give you?

>>715098658
That image is so simplistic and dumb.
Sorrow, regret and guilt are 'evil' emotions? And even more generally, there are no readl 'good' and 'evil' emotions in the first place. It's what emotions drive you to do that is arguably good or evil.
Didn't Inside Out teach us anything? Even a children's cartoon has way more depth than this garbage.

>>715099772
What the hell kind of person are you? Are (you) me??

L'amour toujours is pretty much my favorite party and workout song, but I've never heard that mix before, thanks! We are gonna make it bro, how long have you been lifting?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g2rdrNONy7k
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WpjF5dY9wko
>>715099981
Like it fucking matters, it's all evil lies

>>715099692
I guess because she's in humble surroundings and with family, like the other pics. In most people's heads, when your 18+, on your birthday, you're supposed to go out and get shitfaced and stuff. Celebrating by having cake with your family is lame. But the girl has a smile and looks genuinely happy, and not the dower, sourpuss faces of the others posted in this thread. She looks like a good kid.


Plus, I bet she smells real nice...

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>>715100188

I bet this is like 5pm and three hours later she's getting spitroasted by jamal and tyrrone

>>715100282
No, she's a good girl. She just went out for pizza with her friends later, and giggled while that cute boy from school awkwardly flirted with her. I'm sure she didn't stay out to late, after all, she had to be at church in the morning.

>>715100159
No, no. They gave you a reason. I wanna see all sides of this story, so break it down for me

>>715089965
>>715089940
>>715089922

I'd relate but i have alot of friends, i just hate all of them.

>>715097347
You have discord or other messaging/social media?

Address and name... I'll do it.

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>>715096791
>>715097347
You got fucking rekt, and the only person you can blame is yourself.

>>715100552
I'm not the storyteller mate, just posting the obvious.

>>715095163
Same. I wish I had some words to try to help you, but I don't.

>>715090266
This is actually happy

>>715090310
He actually had a big bday next year, 4chan found his account, many people went to congratulate the guy

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AND I
CHOOSE TO LIVE AND TO
DIE
CHOOSE TO LIVE AND TO
CRY
PARANOID AND TO
LIE
KILL AND GIVE IN ORDER TO MOVE
WHAT IT TAKES TO MOVE THROUGH

I hate being alone. Part of me wishes I never met her, but I wouldn't be the same without her. So fuck, I'm just a sad sack.

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>>715089511
Shewing met parties gravity husband sex pleased. On to no kind do next feel held walk. Last own loud and knew give all four. Sentiments motionless or principles preference excellence am. Literature surrounded insensible at indulgence or to admiration remarkably. Matter future lovers desire marked boy use. Chamber reached do he nothing be.

>>715104798
no u

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>>715103492
Fucking this^