How often do you think about suicide?

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>>714983230
Every day. If it wasn't for my BF I really just wouldn't give a shit.

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>>714983283
That's not a healthy relationship then, Anon.

Your happiness and self-esteem should not depend on another person.

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Probably like 5-20 times a day.

At least every other day

many times a week probably. then i am reminded by that voice in my head that i still have things to do...

suicide by itself is stupid. before you die there is always that one thing you want to do.

think of it this way: if you had 24 hours to live, what would you do?

if you would commit suicide, that is stupid. there is surely something you can do

i shouldnt say more... people may get ideas.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bQ_-7AhS4ds
l

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all the time.

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>>714983424
How come you don't use the time you spend thinking about suicide to do things?

>>714983424
my nigga

used to alot
not so much anymore

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>>714983523
24 hours left to live?

Pure bliss~


Knowing all responsibilities, insecurities and problems would just fade away a day from now would be an amazing feeling.

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>>714983379
Its not my happiness and self esteem that comes from him. Its more that I wouldn't want to leave him and I wouldn't want him to be sad if I were gone.

How far down the rabbit hole do you have to get to want to commit suicide? As an alcoholic and opiate abuser, I still manage to tolerate most things in life, but being sober bores me to death. Only time in my life I didn't feel bored was on a solo 220 mile backpacking trip I did last summer. Mind you I smoked plenty of weed, but not while hiking and every day felt fulfilling. On my way to becoming a forestry major, and leaving this shit world behind. I was a sailor before now, and i've found my peace to be in isolation.

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>>714983497
Anything you feed will grow.

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>>714983574
Because I don't want to do anything.

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>>714983230
Every day. I've just come to terms with the fact that I don't enjoy living. But the only times I'm really happy are with my ex. And she doesn't know how to deal with that.

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nonstop. I even dream about it sometimes. closest ( and thinking back, scariest) thing I did was took a picture of the place where I'd do it.

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>>714983613
What did you do to change?

>>714983727
You said if it weren't for your bf you wouldn't care about life.
Doesn't that mean that your joy in life depends on him?
Sorry if I misunderstand

>>714983800
You just don't enjoy living your current life anon, why don't you start playing by your rules?

Every time me and my ex whould brake up I whould think about suicide and it's worse now that she's engaged to her ex gf from highschool it's cool that she came out and is happy but I'm not happy.

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>>714983915
I don't enjoy living because I'm not fond of myself. I don't believe I have much purpose in this life.

>>714983230
Once a day
When I browse this board: once a minute

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>>714983747
Drugs are meant to take away the pain, Anon.

Dealing with life is harder when you're sober.

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>>714983901
I don't find any joy in life.

But I know he'd miss me if I killed myself and I care about him. I wouldn't want him to be sad.

>>714983230
Every day. And then i think about how fucked my manager would be at my job if i died but im too wimpy to kill myself anyway. And i have to stay alive for my new kitten i got. I've tried and couldn't do it for fear of pain. Everyday i wish someone would hit me with a car or drive by shoot me. I live with my kitty and exgf. The exgf part is a pain.

I have no gf, live with my parents. Dead end job and smoke weed everyday. I think about offing myself everyday. How many people whorls even go to my funeral? Probably not many. My friends only like me for my weed. Other than my parents, i have nothing to live for.

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Not that often anymore, mainly because ive realized i can use my time better and more productively than being a "Victim of society" as it were, and being another edgelord.

Antidepressants help too tho.

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>>714983781
How do you know?

Have you tried doing things?

What do you do all day?

>>714983800
Everyone can learn to love themselves.
Once you love yourself, you can learn to love life.

>>714983283
It's not okay to be gay

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>>714983841
How would you kill yourself?
Why would you kill yourself?
Who are the people that would care?

I think about suicide everyday, than remember shit like i have a family and shit, and would feel guilty or something, so i just cut myself through out my entire body

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>>714984017
Soulmates aren't real, Anon.

There are other people out there who you can love and who can love you back.

When I lived in a comfortable middle-class townhouse in a nice neighborhood with nothing to do but exist and workout I thought about it constantly. I'm even a father and I couldn't keep the thoughts away.

I've moved to a rougher area now with all kinds of different people. I spend my days fixing the trailer house I bought, building shit, and keeping vigilant against these crazies around here and I never think about suicide at all anymore.

I've noticed that any time I am too comfortable I start down that dark path.

Humans, especially men, thrive in a challenging environment. Do things that keep your edge sharp.

>>714984074
So instead of addressing the things about yourself in which you are not fond of, you would rather end your only existence? I'm fairly sure most things which concern you are superficial in nature, and easily fixable.

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>>714984131
I still think that isn't healthy for either of you.

Why don't you like life?

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>>714984219
I just browse the internet and do food stuff.
It's pretty easy to know you don't want to do anything, just think about things and if you do any of them, you've failed.

>>714984166
You, were the fastest sperm. you were born a winner.

>>714984444
Checked

>>714983841
I used to walk to work over a bridge that had a train which was where i planned to kill myself, but i started freaking out at the fact that it could potentially not kill me (i mean it probably would, it's a fucking speeding train) but i could never bring myself to walk down there at night and do it.

>>714983230
Every day thinking of it now actually. 25yrs old Birthday coming up which is also the day my mom died we were never close though. I just want to blame her.

I'd do it asap
but I can't trust anyone to take care of my dog.
I love her quite a bit and don't want her to suffer.

>>714984435
>Why don't you like life?
Because I've done nothing useful with my life. I suck at everything i try to do. I have no motivation and have lost interest in pretty much everything.

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>>714984154
I feel for you Anon, I'm sorry to hear you think this way.

>>714984166
Your destiny is your own.
You CAN get a gf, you CAN get a fulfilling job, you CAN find real friends.

The biggest hurdle is taking the first step to change.

I used to back when I was 20. I thought I had no solution. No friends, always at home, no education, I was a dropout, no job and extremely unhealthy.

The only thing keeping me from it was that my mother still seemed to give a shit about me.

But now I'm 28, I have quite a few friends, I lost a lot of weight and I am pretty close to getting laid, and I'm respected by a lot of people.

>>714984476
Thanks anon. But I'm a slow learner, tried to socialize in school too to make friends. Worked for a bit until I realized I'm useless to others. Only around to be that one guy who you laugh at and makes others feel better about their lives.

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>>714984349

Why do you hate yourself?

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>>714984219
I dont see that happening. My mom tells me I need to forgive myself. But I just can't do that.

>>714984424
No, the things that need to be fixed are how I view myself and the world around me.

>>714984596
I've tried to get myself out there. But I only get my feelings stepped on by someone trying to overtake my lane.

>>714984591
Everyone sucks at everything before they're good at it, Anon. You can be good at things if you keep it up. Get a manual labor job, you'll learn how to build and create rather than consume. Or pick up some tools and start doing little things on your own.

>>714983574
Because you generally think of suicide while doing other things

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>>714984394
I think an important part of happiness is feeling fulfillment.
Being able to be proud of what you do.

I agree that challenge is what makes people thrive but for a lot of depressed people it is difficult to find a challenge that is attainable.
If someone starts a challenge and they fail it, they only get depressed and/or angry at themselves.

The annoying bit is that depressed people are really really good at seeing failure where there is also success.

>>714983230
not that often but pretty often
maybe once a week
it really depends on what happens to me during that week

Damn this thread is pretty fuckin edgy
If you pussies won't do it then stop your bitching

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>>714984444
It is not possible to have an accurate opinion of something before you have experienced it.

So you cannot say for certain that you do not enjoy doing anything outside your comfort zone before you actually go out and do those things.

>>714984476
The sperm wasn't even you, it was half of your dad.
And sperm natural selection isn't perfect, there were likely better genetic possibilities from your dad's side and if the goal is deformed like the egg of a hemophilia carrier or dome other disease, the prize is a lifetime of disease and hardship.
You weren't "born a winner" there was just a regional race of a smaller scale than a primary school competition involved in your conception which was no different from nearly every other human on the planet and it doesn't help to cover the ineptitude of the result.

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>>714984302
Sometimes I feel like hanging, other times with car turned on+closed doors, other times headshot. I'm really a fucking emotional mess.

>>714984527
that's also a fear of mine. that the thing wouldn't kill me, just permanently damage me somehow, like having my arms cut off by doctors cause I messed up my veins so bad while attempting to slit my wrists or something

>>714984693
Well the world around you isn't going to change unless you inflict your will upon it. How you perceive yourself is irrelevant.

Ever since I started nofap, I feel less suicidal, I feel horny most of the time and that's better than feeling suicidal

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>>714984551
You are who you are now because of a lot of reasons, including your mother.
However, you also carry responsibility for yourself and your life.

Putting ALL the blame outside yourself is not fair.
More importantly, blaming people/things doesn't get you anywhere.

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>>714984578
You could bring her to a shelter.

Actually, who cares about your dog?
Why do you even care, when your dead you can't experience anything anymore.
You wouldn't be able to experience sorrow or regret for how your dog will be treated after you're dead cuz you'd be dead.

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From my general experience here on /b/, I think not enough. Well, not enough to browse /b/ as much as I do.

Here's a picture of a loli in a washing machine to cheer all your sad faggets up!

>>714984843
your abit of a cynic

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>>714985009
If it hasnt been like this for almost 5 years, I could maybe find reason to believe that.

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>>714984591
I agree 100% with this anon >>714984738

Failure = learning
Learning = the way to success

>>714985144
I mean if you're going to kill yourself, should you really care about anything? If you do, why are you killing yourself?

>>714983230
I swear you were in my BBC thread a few days ago. On to your question I don't. I'm happy and have people around me that care about me and in slowly becoming less robot.

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>>714984615
What do you do for a living?
Also what are your hobbies?

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>>714985207
keep up those replies boy
you're making a real difference
so deep

Where I'm from we believe when man kill himself he will be reborn as worm in horse anus, I do not want that

>>714983230

Several times a day.

>>714985239
If your going to dismiss people so easily why dont you ask yourself a broader question ss to why your here?

>>714985188
Have you done anything that holds actual weight to change your situation in the last 5 years? Do me a favor and go do something completely out of character for a month. Go on a roadtrip, hike a famous trail solo, anything to break the miserable existence that is your life. As easy as it is to feel trapped by society, it is just as easy to escape it if you give it a shot. The problem is...... you stopped trying.

Everything happens for a reason what that reason is I'm not so sure but we all keep going

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>>714984693
Surely there are things you like about yourself, things others like about you or things you've done you're proud of.
Anything, even the smallest things matter.
Things like "I got up at 9 am today" or "someone smiled at me and I smiled back".

Write those down in a notebook and add to your positive view of yourself.

I think BC about it many times a day but I won't ever hurt myself or kill myself many people rely on me and j know it'd hurt them.

>>714985388
I know why im here, refer to:
>>714983747

Also, i'd like to talk to people about the subject =]

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>>714985400
I stopped trying when I was told I was cured of my deviancies. When I realized that I had lost 3 years of my life, and that I have nothing now besides my ex.

>>714985475
When prostitute said pay me I punched her in the crotch area and ran away

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>>714984935
That is the most worthless response you could have made.
So you won't be satisfied with someone think little of their life unless they try everything in the practically infinite amount of things possible in this world? How arrogant.
This is about suicide, remember? And all that matters in that is why I think about it, everyone in the world doesn't have to be a "live free" "do a new thing every day" asswipe to be happy, there is happiness in a stable mundanity.
I only think about suicide because I have no worth and my meal ticket will be coming to an end soon and i'm not interested enough in living to go to the effort of providing for myself.
That's pretty much it, there's nothing i want enough to avoid dying and i'm sort of interested in seeing what happens when you die.

>>714983230
i am the kaos. i am the almighty. i have returned from my slumber because you have summoned me. i put all of you on notice. my power is reaching out to you. you cannot escape. your age is at an end. mine is just beginning.

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Every time i call my bank to see if i have enough for food.

Errday

>>714983230
Hold up
>Gunsmith cats

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>>714985475
my sleep schedules gotten more and more fucked. I keep turning to alcohol and weed to numb my thoughts out. People compliment me. I get told I'm handsome, smart, or cute, but I just can't see it. I rarely find reason to wake up in the morning nowadays.

My job and listining to music is what keeps me going

>>714983230
I think about it every day. It's no longer a thought but a mindset; It is always in the back and it doesn't distract yet it pulls like a ton of stones.
It's a comfortable place because it is like a dream or fantasy, a fantasy of some kind of escape from the hole that you're in, even though the fantasy just comes with boulders instead of stones.
For a long while I've had a strange optimism with suicidal thoughts, but sometimes holes are dug too deep to climb out of and too small for optimism, and overtime, life makes it very convincing... Life plays the long con.

>>714985528
You need to focus on yourself before you can ever make anyone else happy. I'm not sure if you underwent some kind of shock therapy for homosexuality, or what your deviancies were specifically, but you were abused nonetheless.You have a fresh slate, make a life for yourself that is both new and exciting.

>>714985654
Only reason I clicked this thread. Now I'm go watch some old anime. Maybe blue seed or slayers

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>>714985144
I think I'm being realistic.

>>714985304
Thanks! :)

>>714985252
Wasn't me, I haven't been on /b/ in like two months.
Someone else also has this folder.
Glad to hear you care about yourself Anon!

Honestly i don't to kill myself. I'm just... tired... I just want an end. One day to lay down in bed and never wake up.

You all sound fat and lazy. Get up and take a walk outside\on a treadmill you sad pathetic fucks

I never did, never thought I would. Not until I reached third year college, im just imagining it every day.

>>714985755
I have all the manga downstairs, great author, excellent cars and guns.

>>714985665
It's an easy thing to do anon. I'm personally fine with the lifestyle, and am open about it to my friends and family. I basically just told them that they've known me my entire life, and if they see a change to let me know. Been 5 years of drinking about 1/5 a night while downing opiates and smoking weed just to enjoy playing videogames. Personally I feel that it is the circumstance that forges great writers, but not everyone can accept such an existence I suppose.

>>714984154
Why are u living with ur ex gf? She's cucking u (unless u fuck girls)

>>714985824
You did it, you fixed depression!
Please tell me your name and address so i can nominate you for a nobel prize

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>>714985589
Hmm, well no, I wouldn't say someone should have tried everything imaginable before they off themselves.

Often people who are depressed have a very shrunken world(view).

They have a skewed scale when weighing options and put potential relief (suicide) above everything that life has to offer, most of those things they can't even imagine.

Guess what I'm saying is that I think it's not fair towards yourself to put one "solution" above EVERYTHING in life.

>>714985877
I just had the anime DVD. I don't know it had a manga. I'm give it a read then. Thanks mate.

>>714985824
I'm fit, bike 10+ miles/day, and work for my food and bills. Suicide is still a part of my life. Sometimes life takes different paths.

>>714985824
That or you can have crippling paranoia and think people are inside your head

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>>714983761
So, you're saying I have to feed my penis so it'll grow? What do penises eat? This is important, because everyone laughs at my small penis, which is part of my issue.

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Used to be daily. Then I started just to not give a fuck. It sounds edgy I know, but I've literally got no fear for anything anymore. Speak my mind no matter who's around or what the topic is. Granted I've been deemed an asshole now but I couldn't care less.

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It crosses my mind every now and again, in my current situation I would never do it though. I have a great family that loves me, and even though I fall into these huge depressive slumps I trudge through them for my loved ones. There are people who have it a million times worse than me, who am I to complain about life?

Plus I couldn't leave my pupper behind.

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>>714983800
>Daniel_Fortesque.jpg

I agree. Cats are pretty amazing.

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>>714985665
You can always make the steps to self-appreciation smaller.
If you don't believe positive things people say about you, just start by writing those down.
For a start you don't have to believe them.

What's most important is that the things you write down, the things to focus on aren't accompanied by negativity.

If someone tells you you're handsome, it's fine if you don't think you're handsome, but trust enough on other people to believe that their opinion is genuine.
Your opinion and the opinion of others are separate.

>>714984444
Sweet quadro quads.

>>714986165
As time goes on you lose things. I used to say the same as you until I had nothing left to leave behind.

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>>714985739
No, I abused all my cousins once each over a 4 year period. And I tried having sex with my moms dog. I just hate myself. And I know a lot of my family would want me dead anyways. So this usually crosses my head once a day.

>>714985946
but its noticible that its not who i was 3 years ago. I used to pour so much time into school and work. Then I got laid off and had a break up and everything spiraled out of control since then.

>>714986086
Do you think you partially do it for attention? How can you think there are people inside your head? Its impossible.

I do believe that suicide has to do with what we contribute to the world. Find something worthwhile that is useful (or u feel it is) for the universe. Being healthy, setting an example, etc

Everyday, and even if I don't there's always something about hating myself. Idk, it's normal now

>>714986207
Fuck you actually made me smile

>>714986004
Man stfu I've slit my wrists so deep multiple times. Quit making excuses.

>>714986260
Its been a while since I trusted anyone really. But I can start trying again.

>>714986053
stop being narcissistic and pretentious you couldnt possibly understand why someone would want to commit suicide in less sat thoroughly in their shoes. what if one of these guys had just seen their entire family killed infront of them?

>>714986405
Yeah i wouldn't be surprised, the most retarded and vocal critics of the depressed are people who got over it thinking everyone is like them.
But if everyone was like you, no one would actually kill themselves, since they'd all fail or pussy out like you

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>>714986096
Penors eat blood

>>714986086
You're never lonely, YAY!

>>714986605
So, does that mean I should have sex with my girlfriend on her period?

From the moment I wake up to the moment I fall a sleep I'm pretty much thinking about suicide/death

>>714986273
I mean shit dude, with all that you've made it this far and haven't killed yourself. Go get a job like Uber where you make your own hours and can reintegrate yourself into a functioning member of society. Best wishes, i'm off to bed.

>>714986549
I haven't gotten over it, it's just called dealing with it

>>714983230
Every day. It has become a routine. The only thing that make me forget it is the feel-good pills i take from time to time

>>714986475
That's definitely not the reason but he is indeed being pretentious and presumptive as hell.
>>714986053
And what would you suggest a person who doesn't want anything should do.
I'm not going to try and convince you that such a thing isn't possible without being stupid or closed minded because frankly, you're way too closed minded to even bother.
Just think for a bit and give me your ideas and if i can't shoot them all down, you win the internet.

>>714986274
i know peoplw arnt in my head but that doesnt stop the voices and mental imagery constantly depicting death and voilence intill i finally lose grip and decend into madness. you know what its like to live alone with what i think is schizophrenia?

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>>714983424
same nigga, we in the same boat

>>714986723
It's called being afraid of dying, don't be one of those "my dad is the bravest person i know because he fights cancer" guys, anyone can avoid death.

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>>714983230
its been awhile

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>>714986272
>>714986272
Then that might be the day I go through with it, that or just pack a bag and go. Leave everything behind and "make the world my oyster" as they say.

Maybe try to smuggle myself into Europe or something (ameritard), and backpack across the continent. Start from Spain and work my way to eastern Asia.

Remember this is just hypothetical, if everything goes to shit big time I might just get a big ol' bag of heroin, a bunch of benzodiazapines and drift off into never ending sleep.

>>714986918
Let's see how far fear gets you when the killer clowns find you. Doesn't seem to have worked for the other victims.

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>>714986415
Small steps are important.
Complete paranoia and distrust are no good, but neither is blindly trusting people.

Be prepared for disappointments and know that feeling betrayed doesn't mean you should never trust anyone again.
Life is not black and white, it comes with disappointments and achievements, but never just either one.

watch this entire video, from start to end. that nut or shut up...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k5RH3BdXDOY

>>714986723
Same person here, I literally don't have 1 person I talk to on a daily basis, if I offed myself noons would give a fuck. You just gotta push through

In an odd boat.

I feel that suicide is fine, and the single most control you have in your life. You were never asked to be introduced into the world, so I don't think anyone but yourself has the right to stop you from exiting it. If you do choose to go out, I always think that a way to preserve your organs is best so that others that want to live can benefit from you. Double edge sword since it's linked with jews stealing your property to sell to something else at basically the cost of their life.

On the other hand, I don't condone suicide for silly reasons. Things that relate to responsibility, or toughness living, or things that are controllable. I find those already weak, so literal kys isn't a problem to remove those genes from the existing pools. It's just petty.

The part I come into is that I don't value life as others do. I see our spectrum of existence under this form of humanity. Our current biological state has only been like this for a couple thousand years (or 12k for root one of "humans today"). It's taken billions to reach just this point, and we're still on a path of time that is extending forever. To consider your lifespan of nearly a blip on the time radar of any significance or value past simply existing, then I think suicide is the right path for that unstable mindset. I don't want to die, nor value life. I simple exist to do so, and my biology tells me on a daily basis to not die till I at least reproduce (since we're not asexual).

tl;dr - Life isn't special. You exist to continue existence. Kys if you want to, or don't, either way time will decide for you.

>>714983283
Every hour

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>>714986475
Of course I can never know exactly what another person experiences, that is the curse of the human mind.
But from firsthand experience I know that depressed people often have a distorted view of reality, a view that can be set straight with the right kind of attention.

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>>714986665
Yes, shove as much blood down your urethra for the best result!

>>714986696
What else do you think about?

>>714983230
Every time i fap to litte girls. So a lot.

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I remember being comfortable, I remember unbridled joy, not this fire under my skin ripping the life from me and leaving me exhausted

No reason to it

>>714987196
I'm going to have a school shooting when I commit suicide ;)

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>>714983230
Only when I masturbate

>>714987047
i hope you are betrayed by the one closest to you, you irritating fuck

>>714987360
why the fuck would you take others with you? that's fucking wrong

Sigh

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so does anyone here have any experience with antidepressants?
do they help?

>>714983230
Every day. It'll happen eventually. 27 year old virgin with no friends family or career. I'll see if it's better by 30 but I'm skeptical.

>>714987437
Nahh its fucking sick mate wreck those fools I don't care if they die because I'll be dead

>>714987211
THATS WHY PEOPLE ARE DEPRESSED. NOBODY GIVES A FUCK ABOUT THEM

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>>714987312
I wish i could fuck Ritsu in the ass too.

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>>714983230
All the time. He was best character.

>>714987586
I'd cum on her forehead

>>714987541
When you go out ya gotta go out with a bang :) I'm not a afraid of death I want to die and I can't wait for it my classmates want me to do it haha its gonna be so fun

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>>714986815
>And what would you suggest a person who doesn't want anything should do.
Get professional help.
I'm just a guy who is bored on a Monday.
The reason I made this thread is because I live in social isolation and talking to strangers on the internet is entertaining enough to make me feel slightly happy.
I don't have a high opinion of myself, quite the opposite actually.

So, now we've got that out of the way..

I believe that if a person does not have anything in life they enjoy it's most likely because of deeper underlying issues. Things like self-hatred, bad experiences in the past etc.
These underlying convictions affect the way they look at new experiences, often leaning towards a negative view.
If those base convictions are changed, a person's view on new experiences can change.

>>714983230
My answer is dependant on whether treatment is compulsory.

>>714987530
Not really

>>714987530
No, try happy pills instead. Anti-depressants suck

>>714986062
Supposedly every page was drawn perfectly, without editing any flaws. Sweet stuff and some fanservice. You're welcome.

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>>714987430
I am prepared for that.
It will still hurt but I know it's not the end.

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>>714987648
I want to lick her ears, slam her on the ground and rape her.

>>714987775
True mate

>>714987775
That's pretty autistic and niggerish of you

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>>714987586
Lewd

My suicidal thoughts come and go. I am bipolar and have highs and lows. I self-loath and wish often that people would stop caring for me so that I could kill myself without regret.

>>714987743
Whhatre happy pills?

>>714987832
Rape is a pure form of love.

>>714987530
no, cannabis does but it's expensive and addictive.

>>714987884
Shut up autistic black nigger

>>714987696
so why arnt you fucking doing that then rather than chastising a bunch of people on the internet for having issues you hypocrite?

>>714984645
I feel the same, Anon.

>>714987888
Your get is included in the get compilation thread
>>714986997


Thanks for participating!

>>714987863
Lol I just want to die I know people care for me and I will be missed but IMA still do it and it will be fun it is funny to dream about me killing myself

>>714987757
you literally have 0 ability to comprehend

>>714983230
I used to think about it a lot. Then I moved to California and ate a bunch of acid and met my love. Now the thoughts only come once in a while..

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>>714987924
Because problems aren't solved in a day.
They take time.

I'm a wip and will forever be working on improving myself until the day I die.

>>714987877
Aren't they a party drug ? :p

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>>714988042
I don't understand what I don't understand.

Please use your words more?

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>>714987923
Anon don't be a faggot who wouldn't do that?

>>714987264
Sometimes I think about what it'd be like to have someone special to spend my time with and do cool shit with.

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>>714987696
Well you're not even going to win the internet with that one suggestion.
I can't get professional help because of the particularities of what I am.
Part of the reason I think i should die is because i'm a pedophile and I believe that while i'm safe now, 5, 10 years down the track, especially if i stop thinking i'm worthless and start wanting to do things I could go about raping boys.
My severe lack of motivation to do anything is actually quite helpful in that case you see.
It's kind of hard to get professional help when you yourself think fixing you would be like defusing a bomb that isn't even going to explode on it's own.

>>714988089
>party drug
Must be nice to be a teen.

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>>714987696
What if you are suffering from a disease that will only get worse with time and the drugs you are on will only get less effective over time but you can never really stop using them because its like opening the fucking flood gates. Tomorrow will only be worse than today is, nothing will ever feel the same again and comfort is a distant fucking memory. Every second I am pulled farther out into the waters, I can't possibly try to swim back to shore without exhausting myself and drowning entirely so all I can logically do is try to stay afloat. I don't want to drown like my father did and he did so willingly.

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>>714983230
I stopped thinking about it when i got Skyrim.

>>714988133
Same bro

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>>714987997
Well in my case, I am stuck in an awkward area where my family is disappointed in me yet insist that they love me. I never live up to people's expectations for me, I am boring.
I have built my entire way of thinking to stop from being narcissistic, yet in this post alone I have used "I" more than necessary.

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>>714983230
maybe 2 to 3 times a week but I usually keep myself distracted.

Depends on the day, some days I don't even think about it. Other days my mind is secretly try to kill me by speeding and telling me to swerve on the road.

>>714988166
Haha anything for a buzz before I kill myself

>>714988061
were talking about the other people here. you have spent the entirety of the thread telling people about your past experiences changing depressed peoples veiws on life by offering sympathies but seem extremely blunt and cynical to the posters in thread treating them like an anomaly

>>714988263
I do the same I'm a disappointing lowlife that can only be happy with sex drugs and alcohol

>>714988114
what if your betrayal led to a slow painful death by sed person? would you still have a "aw lets just get up and go" attitude?

>>714987028
I like the way you think, I've thought about packing up and going as well, get away from all the hurt before the hurt makes up my mind for me. That's always the mystery of life though, hindsight is 20-20 and you'll never know when that breaking point will come, so how will you know that you have to know to do something before you break?

>>714988407
I'm a heartless monster and I think the best way to make someone changer there mind is just to not life is pointless would you agree?

>>714983283
>trying to imply that you're not a gay

>>714988669
Everyone on 4chan is at least a little gay

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>>714988476
Can't get sex. Alcohol is a must to sleep on low weekends. Dropped drugs a year ago when my only dealer got busted.

I have 4chan though.

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>>714988132
Cool stuff like what?
How do you feel when you think about things like that?

>>714988133
I don't understand why you would not be able to discuss that with a professional.

>>714987047
None wants your there is light at the end of the tunnel bullshit everyone is depressed and none cares its just a little I want to die mixed with none loves me its nothing life is nothing o boohoo someone committed suicide you don't know them stfu

>>714988646
Is that cluster of malformed words meant to be a retort?

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>>714989039
Because therapists are massive faggots when it comes to pedophilia.
If they get even a hint of you being a threat you'll be reported.
From their perspective it's a low effort chance to satiate the hero complex that led them to choosing to be a therapist.

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>>714988184
Terminal illness is another story.
With terminal illnesses you can realistically have no perspective for the far future.

Depression is usually accompanied with a non-realistic view on the future, a view that is often not true and possible to alter.

In both cases it comes down to how much you can still get out of life. With terminal illness your options are more limited.

>>714988917
Mate 4chan is memes and making you gay and filling your porn folder not a suicide help line

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every day

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>>714988563
I like to think so, yes.

>>714987530
no. they make you feel like an emotionless robot and the side effects are pretty bad

>>714989039
Professionals are dumb talk to mates get some friends on 4chan they know you more than some dumb professional

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>>714989210
There are therapists that specialize in pedophilia.
As far as I'm aware, in my country at least, you are protected as long as you're not in possession of cp and have not acted on your urges.

>>714989039
Idk like ice skating or going on a ferry ride, gay shit you'd do with someone you love you know. I feel empty af when I think about it

>>714989154
It means don't get help buy a gun and do it already you pussy
Or do drugs and od anyways

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>>714989480
Why can't you fill the emptiness?

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>>714989277
And?
I am fine with memes and being gay. It gives me the last thread of comfortable conversation I have.

>>714989210
Mate if you wanna talk add me on kik or some shit I'm depressed and going to kill myself I have the same thoughts as you

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>>714989462
Oh little one, how naive you are.
It doesn't matter what rules are written down when it comes to pedophiles.
The law is about emotion at it's core, don't ever trust it with your life.

>>714989260
Soooo your still saying depression is just a frame of mind even with something like massive chatastrophic organ failure? or are you saying this is the only scenario were its acceptable for someone to be depressed?

.. I feel a little bit better after reading this thread. thanks :)

>>714989588
Meh same but PFF Idk but it kinda suck its random and you don't like ever talk to the same people agen

>>714983230
Everyday

I feel like my life is over.
I feel like I've missed the golden years.
I have no idea what a 33 year old is supposed to do.
I'm very far behind in my development.
I feel too old now, some of the things I've listed below you do when you are 14 - 24.
I feel I no business being anywhere.

> Dutch
> 33
> Lived abroad most of my Life, in an islamic country
> Never had sex
> Never drank alchohol, never tried
> Never smoked, never tried
> Never used drugs, never tried
> Never interacted with girls
> Never talked to a girl
> Never touched a girl
> Never kissed a girl
> Never had friends
> Never hung out around town
> Never hung out with peers
> Never been to a house party
> Never been to a club
> Never been to a bar
> Never been to university / college partying
> Never been to an event (concert, football match, comedy show, etc)
> Never been on holiday
> Never been to summer camp
> Never been to a party island like Ibiza
> Never had a stereo in my room
> Never had a tv in my room
> Never had a console in my room
> Was not allowed to bring people over
> Was not allowed to go to other people's homes
> My parents were very strict and would use guilt tricks to keep me indoors
> My parents also used the same excuse over and over again, which was "You are too young for that, you are not ripe enough".
> Another excuse was "Because you lack expierence you are not allowed to participate, only when you have enough expierence are you allowed to participate".

>>714989497
like i havent heard that shit before

>>714989520
Dunno man, wish I could

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>>714989620
I much too shy to real time text with people, sorry.
I don't like to turn people down when they put themselves out like that but it really would be quite discomforting for me.

>>714989631
You can't trust professionals all the time the can fuck you if I went to a professional and said what I think they would want me gone>>714989646

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>>714989646
Both.

Even with a terminal illness you can still make your last days worthwhile.

Depression that is caused mostly by psychological issues is easier to fix than a terminal illness.
Thinking of suicide or euthanasia when you suffer from a terminal illness is more realistic than when you just don't like yourself.

>>714983230
Virtually never.
A couple times when I was a school kid.
24 now. So that would be what... 13, 14 yesrs ago?
Life is hard n' all, but I'd prefer to spend my time thinking about things, and not acting like an attention whore, or a weak fag.

>>714989331
self righteous cunt

>>714987530
I have Social Anxiety, and depression. 20mg of CItalopram daily has helped me a little. It takes the edge off. My thoughts are the same but they don't race, so I feel I have more control over me and my life. The important thing with SSRI's is, REALLY IS, that everyone is different and different dosages and types may need to be tried until you find the one that fits you.

>>714989817
Yeah your on 4chan the web sight of fuck you tits or gtfo

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>>714989836
What have you done to try?

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>>714989260
Oh, its not a terminal illness, well at least it hasn't shown those signs yet. Just pain for now, ever increasing pain. anywhere from a mild sunburn to second degree burns. Sporadic? Erratic? Everywhere. Nothing is comfortable anymore. My father drank it away and I know he cant stop because the sudden weight would crush him. Sleep feels good but isnt actually restful, rain or snow whatever can make it incredibly worse. Sleep for 18 hours and miss out on a lot, or at least thats what I'm told.

I'm tired, but I'm always tired? I should game, watch videos of people gaming, vape to avoid chewing on/through my fingers and stare at funny pictures to forget if even for a moment in that laugh that I am still human or something. I miss exercise, I miss running, I miss touching something and getting the appropriate response.

This is wet, because it is cool and soft.

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>>714989952
<3

>>714989878
Yeh but don't be shy your on 4chan everyone is a pedo I am you are everyone is the same none will put you down if someone wants to chat :)

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>>714987696
Thank you for putting in the effort to help people. I think you are great for doing so.

>>714990028
I've tried drinking, smoking and sleeping
I can't really afford cigarettes atm
I usually just sleep all day so I don't have to feel anything or see anyone all day

>>714989918
Sorry for taging you at the bottom miss click

>>714989937
so you admit that depression isnt a choice that you cant simply shake off after all the garbage you have been spewing?

>>714983230
Everyday, before breakfeast...

>>714990193
can*

>>714990215
is your breakfast that good it makes you forget?

>>714990178
Same sleep do some gay shut on 4chan then sleepp

Like...all the time.

At least 20 times a day.

>>714990046
whaddup fellow chronic illness bro? Sounds like you're experiencing low quality of life

fucking sucks, doesn't it? I wish my biggest problem was no gf or bad homelife, not "my body is a nightmare and brain is trapped inside"

>>714990254
Dunno, maybe is because the endorphins by eating?
I try to eat the most healthy possible, and sleep (that's fucking hard at this point) to fighting back this shitty feel of emptiness and sorrow.

Two to three times a day

>>714990459
I don't fight it I just do whatever I usuly just chill and feel sad it much more fun than it sounds just chill drink a beer and re lax

This thread really slowed down

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>>714990402
I wish I could move it to something else, nothing high quality but not a brain in a jar deal either.

>>714990692
What's the point

>>714990692
it really sucks, I just take it day by day

my shits internal, but that skin business sounds hellish

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hope i die soon

>>714991054
Same

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>>714990985
Its everywhere there are nerves, its like discover card but not.

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great thread, honestly

>>714983677
grow a spine and get back in there

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>>714991174
glad to see you have sense of humor about it

I have a disorder of the ANS (autonomic nervous system) so everything from the neck to stomach feels like stone and throat feels like pic related on it at all times....ALL FUCKING TIMES!!!

>>714983747
More about mental illness, you can't really compare lifestyles like an equation to determine a suicide risk.

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>>714991507
Sounds lovely, mines peripheral neuropathy or fibromyalgia.

>>714983230
Every time I:
>Go to college
>Go to work
>Get groceries
>Pay taxes
>Pay bills
>Get taken for granted by my friends and coworkers because I'm easily mislead and uninformed and generally ignorant
>Hold a gun
>Talk to family
>Think of failure

I think I'll get over it, it's not like I'm broke yet.

never have and propably never will, i hope atleast.
im in a pretty shitty place atm, so thats why i can say i propably never will, it would have to get a LOT worse.

Pretty much all the time, it's weird if it weren't for the voices in my head... It really is weird, I can't talk to anyone else, I break and retreat, but in my head I can talk, I don't want to take these meds... They go away... I can't do that... Seroquel is dangerous stuff...

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>>714991815

Not often enough

>>714987863
I have bipolar too anon, the self loathing is terrible, I am glad you have friends and family around.

>>714991642
ha, mine too

I think that's becoming a meme diagnosis for "your nerves are fucked, here's some Lyrica" Doctors are not electricians. Humans are a fucked symphony of nerves, hormones, and soft tissues. They really don't have decent treatments yet for this type of illness. Wouldn't wish it on anybody.

>>714987702
Dude

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Maybe once, or twice a month, depending on how shitty my day is. Fluoxitine does wonders.

>>714983230
Depends on how well I can distract myself. I'm basically just consuming media (music, movies tv, YouTube, videogames) to keep myself in a focused state so I can't think. Because if I can, it inevitably spirals to depression. I need to keep my thoughts occupied, or I can't get out of bed. If I didn't have family to support me, I'd probably be dead by now (not for lack of trying, but out of desperation at that point). I can't even get myself to eat if there's nothing appetizing thats piss easy to make (or if there's food made for me, but that's generally unreasonable to expect).
As is, I'm basically stuck between "I need to keep myself where I am because I don't want to risk slipping deeper and fuck up my suicide attempt and have them pay for another hospital bill." and "Fuck me, my life is completely meaningless. I really should change that."

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>>714992088
Bad wiring can burn a house down.

I used to alot but i haven't in a while.

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I used to a good amount, but after my friend's wife committed suicide, I started hanging out with him more and he's my best friend now, and the weed really helps, it makes me happy.

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>>714992697
damn

I lost my shit after the first year. Physical suffering scrambles a brain good.

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Honestly if I wanted to kms and truly meant it, I'd travel the world as a hitchhiker or something. Live on the streets doing odd jobs and forget about my whole previous lifestyle. Forget about expectations, forget about responsibilities, forget about family/friends, and just live. I tried this once, going out for a month just letting whoever picks me up take me to places ive never been to and work for food. But alas I felt for something greater and came back.

Every day I think: "If the fucktards would just kill themselves, I could get on with my life in peace."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zt0hLBF0rN8

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>>714983230
Every minute of every day, I'm having a long ass existential crisis, too smart for my own good.

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everyday.but when i look like this,what do you expect?

>>714993317
You look like a dad figure, id go for widows my dood

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>>714983230
Never actually.
Hell even during the height of my depression (which I'm still in) I never thought about it seriously. I think it's just kinda dumb.
Like shit dude, someone has to discover that, someone has to clean it up, people are gonna be sad, funerals are expensive. Just way too much hassle for other people.
Not to mention dying usually sucks. Electrocution? Gonna need some power for that. Pills? What kind, my dude? Gun? Shit man, I'm Aussie, I'm not gonna go to all that effort to kill myself, I'd have a gun, go out hunting and have some fun or something. Honestly suicide is just dumb af,

I mean I had no reason to LIVE but I had no reason to die either.

>>714993259
pool full of liquor, i'mma dive in it...

A lot more often lately. Before it was just a quick thought and then gone. Now I'm actually considering how to do it. I have a pill bottle full of trazodone sitting on my desk next to me, considering that but Idk shit about them other than a doc prescribed them to me for depression so probably not my best option. I've also considered making a facemask out of a 2 liter bottle and attaching a propane torch to it so I just breath straight propane until I die. And then theres a good old fashioned gunshot to the head, or pretending to pull a gun on a cop.

Idk yet it's still a work in progress. Any ideas?

>>714993432
It's easy as pie, if I didn't have such strong morals to keep myself alive for the sake of the people who care about me, I'd just slice my fucking neck open with a kitchen knife.

Ive never seriously considered suicide even when my wife of 11 years ran off I just said fuck it maybe one day when i find i only have a month to live talk to me then lol

>>714993919
Morals? Dude like who gives a shit. If you're sad just go do fuckin' something. You either do care about people therefore you HAVEN'T killed yourself OR you don't care about people, so who gives a shit? Do stuff, have fun.

>>714994102
I gotta note that having a family where my sister cuts and is in a psych house my mother an hero'ed with rum and pills and her father---my grandfather blew his brains out with a shotgun in the family bathroom so maybe I dont want to follow tradition lol

>>714994155
you lack fortitude sensei

>>714994155
I care about the people who care about me, and they are more important to me than I am, the strong man carries the world on his shoulders, if I killed myself I wouldn't be disposing of my grief, I'd be giving it away.

I can't simply do things and have fun, that's just the thing, nothing is fun.

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want to read something depressing?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1998_Sokcho_submarine_incident

>>714994505
Hey man, I'm in the same boat as you. I still got shit to do and people to help. But I just can't find anything for ME when I want it. You married or something? Got a girlfriend? What's your situation, my man?

I used to think a lot, but I'm better now. I'm spending my time with games, music, movies, series, 4chan. I have no social life, no study or work, because I suffer from social phobia.

>>714994457
I...guess? I just kinda stopped....enjoying things. I still do go out on occasion, but there sure as shit ain't no reason to off myself.

>>714983230
it's easier to ask how often i don't

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>How often do you think about suicide?
How often does a starving fat person think about a 12 piece nugget combo?

It's a fleeting thought that I only entertain after I masterbate. But surprisingly, never consider if I go 3-5 days between fap sessions, but then instead of hating myself, I resort to hating everything else, which then resorts to excessive masterbation and a resurgence of suicidal thoughts.

tl;dr I have suicidal thoughts to prevent myself from harming others doing even stupider shit, and that's ok.

>>714994593
Who would win?
>1 fishing net
>1 submarine 9 crewman

>>714994685
Haha, like I'll get that far.
I'm 19, living with my single mom and older brother, no friends, no social skills, no motivation, no reason to live, this is truly the life.

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>>714994226
In all seriousness, no trolling.
People with bipolar disorder just need an example of how to behave lovingly,
and just need an emotional anchor who will compliment them on their positive behaviors,
and who can also talk them through their manic moments.

>>714994726
does your jejune fuel your dubious nature?

>>714995024
I'm 21 and basically still there. I'm watching my younger sister go to college and she's working in insurance for my uncle during winter break. Just really drives home how fucking useless I am.

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Is the bump limit still 300?

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>>714995024
Duuuuuuuude holy shit are you me? I'm almost the same.

19, Single dad, both my older brother and sister are out of the house (in fact sis got married a few days ago and bro go married 3 weeks ago) I have little social skills, no motivation, nothin' to go on for. Shit's great, my dude. It's honestly not too bad.
Ya just gotta believe! To quote Hitler “If you tell a big enough lie and tell it frequently enough, it will be believed.”

Just tell yourself that in the mirror every morning.

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>>714995179
Nah man. I just got tired of being cynical and cranky all the time. Figured I'd try and look at things in a positive light. I still get bummed out about things, get cranky over stupid shit.

But all in all, I feel better. Even if it might seem a bit silly, it is nice.

Have a shot of nature some anon took a while back.

>>714995234
I don't lie, I can't stop myself from logical thinking, I think too deeply into everything, I know too much that I'd rather not know.

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>>714995234
>Just tell yourself Hitler quotes in the mirror
>If you tell a big enough lie and tell it frequently enough, it will be believed
>Doesn't tell him to tell himself "Shit's great... It's honestly not too bad", but a Hitler quote about lying to people.

Dude, I getchu, but goddamn that continuity in your script
>pic related. It's you to me.

>>714995365
As do I, my man. I've seen some surprisingly fucked up things in my short ass life.

I've got some terrible habbits about overthinking and the like. Hell that's where my thought process comes from.

What is the point of suicide: To stop the pain.

But as said earlier, it doesn't stop it, just moves it over to others.

Just keep your chin up, do little things that might help you. No matter how small, just do 'em, my dude.

Things can only get better if you let 'em. Sometimes you don't even need to try and find them.

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>>714995365
Dude, he's not telling you to lie, he's asking you to consider an ulterior perspective, "Shit's good", and it motherfucking is too. Just find the little things that give that buzz in your stomach that makes you feel alive again. Everything always stays the same, but how you view it, is a matter of perspective.
Pic very related.

Basically while I'm at work. I just want to escape my life, find somewhere new. I feel like I've got all these chains holding me down, so I can't change anything. Debt, a job, my needy dad. I'm still existentially terrified at the thought of nonexistance, tho.

>>714983230
I hope your disposition remains optimistic. Quell any quixotic pique. You have esoteric ken.

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>>714995727
DUDE I AM ABSOLUTELY AN IDIOT SANDWICH!

Seriously, my thoughts are all over the place, I'm jetlagged as hell. I have a tendency to ramble all over the place. But I do honestly want the best for people, depression is something I've been living with for...a while. So sorry 'bout that shit

shit i mean this >>714995928 to this >>714994726

>>714995924
Visit Cuba, buy your dad a lifetime supply of some very cheap prescription medications, that gets him off your back
Then just travel around and enjoy the country. It's actually everything you're looking for if you're willing to look for it.