>be me >19 living on my own >working at burger king

File: download (2).jpg (9KB, 300x168px) Image search: [Google]

9KB, 300x168px

>too late to turn back
>go to work next day and flirt with qt
>a week passes
>still flirting
>whole house smells like doo doo
>finally ask her out and she says yes
>we go out for dinner at long horns
>I had a really good steak and we got to know eachother
>really like her

Keep it going

>go back home
>take fat shit and add to pile
>2 weeks go by
>still dating
>we are going steady but she hasnt been to my house and we havent had sex
>we go to a scary movie
>it was rlly bad but she wanted to come back to my place
>shitnigger.jpg
>tell her its under construction or some shit
>she believes it
>we go back to her place and have intercourse
>go home and add to pile

>a month goes by
>still hasnt been to my house
>toilet is now almost half way filled eith pure dookie
>mfw whole house smells like shit
>flies are all over my house
>i have to get a whole bunch of febreeze and cologne to mask shit stank
>me and qt continue to go on dates
>she still wants to come to my house
>shit
>tell her plumbing is down and its not a good place to chill
>she agrees
>3 more weeks go by
>toilet 3/4 way full of shit

>>714428451
Keep this shit going

More you beutiful retard

File: 1452345794060.gif (2MB, 200x200px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 200x200px

>>714429209
Nigger get rid of that shit. Before this shit happens:
>Tfw I piled shit as a prank, gf comes over looses her shit and leaves me. Wut Do?

>whole house has unbearable stench
>even neighbors start to notice
>oshitnigger.jpg
>bitch neighbor glenda thinks i have a dead body in my house
>it smells that bad
>its summer time
>smell has gotten worse
>have to shower at the gym because house is too filthy
>start getting sick
>still go to work
>fast forward 2 weeks
>still sick
>asked my boss for time off
>ben at home sick for 10 days
>whatever sickness i have makes me vomit and shit a lot
>i think its the flu so dont go to doctor

The fuck is going on

I'm scared

>fast forward another week
>toilet is now filled to the brim with shit
>still sick
>i go to doctor and he says i have salmonella
>mfw
>i get medicine
>i keep going
>start having to beat the shit down into the toilet with a shovel
>neighbors come to my house regularly asking whats up
>mfw glenda sent a police officer to my house
>when he opened up the door he almost threw up
>couldnt search my house because no warrant
>theyreontome.jpg
>another 3 days passes
>missed so much work i get fired
>cunt
>havent had a paycheck in 2 weeks because boss is a nigger
>cant pay rent
>about to get evicted lmao

This is honestly gone be an entertaining thread to say the least

I feel so sorry for the landlord.

Burn the house down op

>girlfriend is calling me constantly
>told her im very sick and not to come over
>a week later still havent been kicked out of house
>my sickness has gotten worse
>skin is pale
>vomiting
>shitting
>imdying.jpg
>keep piling up shit
>havent made it this far for nothing
>mfw knock at door
>COPS
>I open door and its not cops
>its my gf
>shit

>tldr; how OP fucked his life up for an epic joke that no made no sense

>>714430113
uh oh.

>>714429870

>because boss is a nigger

lol what? he's not the one who can't flush like a fucking normal person lmao

>quickly douse myself in cologne
>can hear knocking still
>anon it's me I want to talk
>shit she saw me
>knew I'd have to face it some time or another
>take a deep breath and instantly regret it as shit fills my lungs
>open the door
>get on the floor
>everybody walk the dinosaur

>>714430354
awwww cmon

>>714430354
DAMMIT OP

>>714430354
fucking fuck you fucking fuckpuppet

>she almost threw up
>doesnt say anything just runs to her car and drives away
>single.jpg
>fast forward a whole 2 weeks
>i dont think i have salmonella anymore, i think this is a different sickness
>im not dead
>victory.jpg
>i hear knock at door
>its landlord
>he immediately almost passes out and calls the cops
>shitnigger
>mfw cops come and they think I have a dead body
>walk into bathroom and see horror
>filled with a million flies
>shovel in corner
>toiler nearly broken from massive mound of shit
>mfw arrested for destruction of property

End

>>714430457
well that was anticlimactic

Was it worth it?

For future reference, landlords usually get their property cleaned before letting it to new tenants.

>>714430457
Prefer the dinosaur ending

I think you might be actually retarded.

I would probably have filled it in maximum 1 month

>>714430735
forreal, if anything he's really stupid and pranked himself hard..... or totally fake