Hung my self Gone 20-30 mins Wife revived Spends week in psych

Well congrats, you couldn't even kill yourself right. You truly are mcfuckin useless.

u 1 unlucky fool. next time try harder.bitchs dont even kno how 2 kill demselfs

>>714426305
why hung

>>714426488
why not

>>714426305
hmm... you know that sounds fun ive tried to hang myself ended up feeling more alive then ever.
now i just get the bitch to choke me in sex WAY better.

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>>714426305
Sad about that gay tattoo. I would want to hang too

>Feels better then ever to be alive

Clearly the lack of Oxygen made you retarded.

>>714426606
deep inside you know u wanna die

>>714426577
Why knot*

So you failed at failing at life?

Sucks to be you kid

>>714426305
way to fucking mentally scar your wife

>>714426633
where you wanna hang out at?

what made you think that taking out your roof was less cost effective this way

>>714426778
the swings

>>714426714
noissse 1. igiggled

>>714426714
Kek

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>>714426305

A classy tattoo and a neckbeard go well with a rope scar. I can see great things in your future.

>>714426778

Obviously at The Noose.

>>714426705
I totaly do. I just want to go out with a bang but IM not going out like a hipster bomb vest cock sucker.
They made it uncool

>>714426305

Serious question - any permanent damage caused by the suicide attempt?

Now you have stupid looking scare on your neck for life good luck getting a job also your wife will leave or cheat on you because she will think your weak human being

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>>714426305
Timestamp.

>>714426766
This!

>>714426374
a little of that...

>>714426488
and mostly this.

...

Next time newfags keep in mind there are more effective, less painful and quicker ways to kill yourself.

>>714426305
>gone more than 6 minutes
>not braindead retard now
Sure thing bro.

>>714427022
*scar
stay in school motherfucker

>>714426975
ikr? always thought bout schoolshootin ..2 bad i survived school

>>714427022
it doesn't look that bad. it could probably heal well enough to not be noticeable unless you looked for it.

>hang yourself at home for your own wife to find you hanging

Scumbag

>>714427119
Only one thing left for us. Die fighting a mugger
Or a deathcult of serial killers.

>>714427093
ik proper grammar and spelling is a thing here i just can;t be bothered w/ such

>>714426305
You are a failure on so many levels. I feel sorry for your wife. Get your shit together, fucker.

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>>714427091
It takes 10 mins generally.

>>714426305
That feeling goes away, always does. Better luck next time.

>>714427119
I mean, I'm not saying you actually should shoot up a school or anything but you make it sound like there's some kind of rule against shooting up a school you aren't enrolled in.

>>714427334
sure thing..id break easier than a stick
quick enough but dunno bout pain thou
mby full of xan

>>714427516
ye but itb sumthin else if id go back 2 muh school

>>714426305

You mean you were chocking yourself in a batman costume from your doorknob while jerking it?

luckily GF found you?

So you can do it again.

fuckin pleb

>>714427516
School shootings are about the aggression of competition and taking your peers down.
of course the id rather just work on a toxin or become patient zero for airborn ebola

>>714426714
Boom. Reason to live, right there.

>>714427521
train like batman motha fucka.

OP has gto it all planned. Now he can kill himself twice unlike all the other Heros before him.

>>714426981
No thankfully not anything serious just pain in my chest and back from CPR

that moment you cant even kill yourself right

>>714426305
Do some coke, OP. You'll feel even better.

>>714427371
>gone 20-30 minutes
I stand by my statement.

>>714426305
Sometimes you just got to kill yourself first before stuff gets better

>>714427903
tru

>>714427809
Because if it works in a comic book obviously it works in real life. Way to make him more depressed when he realizes this after feeling hopeful for the first time in his life he could be Batman and then the weight of reality crushes his puny skeltal frame right back down again.

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>>714427926
Your statement was wrong. If you are "standing" by it then you are a moron.

I didn't even read the op because there's no timestmp. You bring up a good point. While it is possible it is extremely unlikely that "op's" brain would not be useless after 20+ minutes.

what was it like to be dead?

Whyz b so mad I finally did it! I know I'm epic fail xant even kill myself right and clearly I'm retarded cause auto correct don't wok for me

>>714426305
Best part of living is almost dying. It's called almost live-dying. Congrats OP

>>714426305
why are you suddenly happy to be alive?

>>714426305
IGNORE THE NEGATIVE ASSHOLES in this thread. My best friend did the same thing a few months ago but his wife didn't find him soon enough. She is now living a life of misery. His family & friends are devastated. Do your wife a favor & never put her through that again. Do yourself a favor by (1) continuing to seek medical help & (2) live your life with purpose. Good luck, God bless & hang in there. Life is too short to end it prematurely.

>>714427867
Timestamp. Brain death occurs generally around 10 minutes.

>>714428270
Honestly I am trying to remember if there was an after life or a outer body experience but cant recall anything spiritual

>>714426824
>poorly constructed fat joke

>>714428414
>god bless.
what the fuck is this shit?

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No timestamp.

You kid will believe anything these days aye?

>>714426305
Husband hangs himself
Finally getting rid of him
Neighbors knock at door
No choice but to save him
He's back and more annoying than ever before
At least I got some relief and he was out in psych

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>>714428414
Mfw "hang in there "

What the fuck right now?

>>714428586
Divorce?

>>714427516
it's like extra rude if you don't go there

>>714428414
>hang in there

Lil kek

>>714426714
zozzle

>>714428373
I feel as if I could have had brain damage or something i am truly happy to be back to normal

>>714426305
>Has wife
Kills self
most people kill themselves because there lonely, yet you have a wife. Is she ugly or some shit

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>>714426305
> dead for 20-30 minutes
> suffers severe brain damage from lack of oxygen
> is now happy and shitposting better than ever
> literally can't think of a reason not to be happy or how to get out of bed

I'm so proud of you

>>714428414
Lol hang in there


Nice pun will definitely continue with a purpose

>>714428414
what a faggot, as in a complete homosexual. why can't you just let people kill themselves in peace? why are trying to guilt trip the dude in to living? fuck that, homosexual faggot that should be hung for being a homo.

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>>714428466
>>714428564
HERE you go faggots

>>714428692
but presumably you must be very unhappy with your "normal" because if you were happy before hand you wouldn't have tried to kill yourself. there's no way you thought "man this sucks im gonna fuckin hang myself" then did, then got revived and are now grateful to be back. It doesn't add up

>>714426305
Well congratulations, you got yourself caught. Now what's the next step of your master plan?

>>714428414

Don't bother this site has the worst fucking degenerates on earth. I pray they either grow up or die off with no kids which most likely will happen. Went through same shit though. Had to cut my cousin's BF down after he offed himself. That shit sucked. Also agreed, life is too short, just live it.

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>>714428772
>thinking being in a relationship means you don't feel alone

>>714428772
Maybe be lives in an arranged marriage shithole country like India. I'd certainly contemplate suicide if I lived in India.

did you see heaven?

>>714426305
Ask your doctor for sertraline OP, it helped me out.

Sucks dick for a few weeks while you get used to it, now I wake up on my days off and want to go for walks and shit.

>>714428949
Thanks for the advice it is greatly appreciated

>>714426305
congrats on having a child's vagina on your neck.

>>714428466

Yea you're right unless he was able to breathe and didnt really snap his neck and just hanged, you can stay alive longer that way. Also probably underestimated the time he was up there considering he might of passed out so 5 min feels like 20. Just some factors.

>>714428994
India ain't bad if you've got money

>>714429099
earth ain't bad if you've got money

how long did it take to black out? how did it feel??

>>714428873
I'm glad just to be alive without any serious damage

>>714428873
Actually it does. The brain releases dopamine when you do things that help you to survive, and procreate. Eating, drinking water, fucking, all that. Especially if you stop doing one of those things, like breathing, for a significant amount of time, then start doing it again. His brain is trying to make him feel good enough that he doesn't try to kill himself again for a while until the rush wears off.

>>714429016
No I do not believe so I don't remember any thing like that

>>714429099
We're talking about op here

>>714429198
I do not even remember hanging my self just waking up in the hospital

>>714426430
kek

>>714428772
Op is just another spineless and selfish piece of shit. I hope his wife leaves him and breaks free from this situation which op created, she probably didn't ask for, but has to deal with anyway because of his shitty decisions and his inability to act like a responsible adult.

Disgust.png

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>>714426305
I didn't died either. Feels good man.

>>714426305
>wife

You spelt mother wrong

>>714426305
OP where you live??

>>714429203
but you weren't glad to be alive before? nothing's changed, you're back exactly where you were except with an abrasion on your neck and, probably, a stressed out wife

>>714426305
"gone 20-30mins"

im assuming you mean unconscious, that or you aren't human.

>>714429263
yeah but that shouldn't last more than a couple of days

>>714427079
got one extra

next time OP, do it on cam so we can support you :), till the end, like real /b/ro's

>>714429290
op could have that indian money we don't know

I wanna give you anons a big gay hug.
I tried to an hero from overdose, pussied out and called the police.
They gave me some shots in the ass (why?) and 3 days in the hospital.

Can anyone answer me why couldn't I walk for few days? And why, after 3 months, my left butt cheek still hurts when touched?

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>>714426305
Can't tell if girl or boy?

>>714429663
oh, and now a stay at a psych ward on your record, that'll suck

>>714429871
try looking for clues

>>714426305
You hung a painting. You "hanged" yourself.
Get it right.

20-30 mins? how the fuck.

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I'd just like to point out that Op hasn't mentioned his wife (except in the op) once during the course of this thread.

I think that speaks volumes.

>>714429925
I don't know how to tell you this anon but your elementary school teachers lied to you, you don't actually have some great big "permanent record" somewhere with names dates and places of every hospital visit you ever had.

>>714429563
bro, do you even moisturize?

>>714429871
like it matters to you

>>714426726
Technically that'd mean that's his winning at life.

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>>714429999
quads checked

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>>714430148
hahahahahahahahhahahahaa
>what are medical records

>>714428967
>thinking you can be in a relationship and still feel alone
That's not a real relationship

>>714429871
Isn't that sort of the point of anonymity? That said I think it's fairly obvious what gender OP is.

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>>714430148
thinking companies don't already track all your medical information

>>714430399
it is bro, I'm just a lonely dude

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>>714426305

>>714429663
>
the near death experience probably gave him some decent perspective on his life and any problems he may have been struggling with, along with the realization that hey dying is sort of uncool maybe i should work to improve the life i have instead of trying to escape it

>>714426898
Underrated

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>>714426305
>Hung

>>714426305
If you want to die by seeing your life flash before your eyes, get a gun a shoot yourself in the heart.

Or commit Sudoku faggot. Can't you do anything right?

>>714426305
Suicide chump

https://www.google.dk/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=%23&ved=0ahUKEwjrypDV2eLQAhVDEiwKHU_OCaYQxa8BCCwwCQ&usg=AFQjCNF1sHlk2z9QIx28jtvfnGP_UlkifA&sig2=tZ5AtRfvdJkJYPaSCKIm3A

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>>714426305
Medfag here, congrats, the brain cells that died from the lack of oxygen likely caused small holes in your brain. You are happier now because brain cells, carrying memories, have died and your conciousness has less work to do, and so you are probably fucking retarded and happy now.

The dead brain cells have probably calcified by now, can you feel the holes?

You are the sperg who trashed his computer after a LoL match. I hate you.

>>714430761
Sorry I'm not as smart as the rest of you faggots, stop acting like you have never even thought of being a hero.

>>714430842
what is this link supposed to be? It doesn't even load.

>>714431209
>Medfag
Who's stupid enough to actually fall for this bait?

>>714430761
Seppuku you pleb

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>>714430761
>>714431452

>>714430095
uhh ya, he hasn't talked about what the fuck she thinks about it, probably becuse he hasn't asked her. That's probably why he feels alone and shit, cuz he's a pussy to scared to tell his wife how he feels, and ask her how she feels. i can't wait till she waits till he's recovered and then fucks his best friend

>>714431898
Sorry don't have friends, maybe the milkman?

>>714431898
Preach, anon, preach

>>714428865
did you try to hang yourself over the terrible decision you made to get an ugly tattoo around your neck? What does that even say anyway?

Give the story OP.

>>714426305
what was it like

>>714426305
Wat.

>>714426305
fking atention whore

>>714428865
Aint readin' through the whole thread, so....

how was the experience of dying? Also, would you take path of strangulation again?

>>714433064
>Aint readin'
More like can't

>>714432659
>>714433064

I can not recall a out of body experience or anything like that maybe i wasn't truly dead as some say maybe just unconscious because my neck didn't snap.