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>be 19 year old virgin >have shit life anyway but being

The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

Thread replies: 79
Thread images: 14

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>be 19 year old virgin
>have shit life anyway but being a virgin makes it even shitter
>resort to using a dating site
>thisismylastresort.jpeg
>get a few conversations and eventually get a date
>she does agree but she says she's busy and she'll message me back when she's free
>wait months like an autist
>give up on her with disbelief that this happened but keep trying anyway
>three years have passed and I'm still unsuccessful
>the same thing where a date is agreed but nothing happens happened twice more, the second time she was talking with me for months
>decide to message one more girl and if that doesn't work I give up
>the next day she has actually replied
>get talking
>we have so much in common and she really seems to like me, even laughed at a shit joke I made
>thisisit.png
>same thing happens again
>log on to dating site one more time
>11/10 qtπ has shown interest in me
>needed to search her name on facebook to make sure she was legit
>sheexists.gif
>she loves animals and we start talking about animals she seems really into it
>I then tell her that lobsters and horseshoe crabs have blue blood
>no response
>I wait a few days
>still no response
>message her again and she didn't even read my message
>I figured she must have searched it and found pic related, then with her simple female brain must have come to the conclusion that I am part of this
enough.jpeg
Inveniam viam.png
>decide I'm going to catfish her then when we meet in person I explain to her that it was all just a misunderstanding
>"but anon, she's just a girl you met on a dating site."
>Exactly. The fact I'm even fucking up on dating sites is why I've had enough
>I need pictures of attractive males, preferably from facebook and preferably with multiple images of the same guy so I can create a fake account
Do this and if the date goes shit I'll post another greentext story about it so you can all laugh at me
>>
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Ones like this
>>
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go on
>>
>>714235516
bump
>>
>>714235923
The catfishing hasn't happend yet. I need pictures for that.
>>
I'm moderately attractive...you can use me. Hell, I'll even tell you what to say and talk about and send you whatever pics you need. Shit op, I'll even meet her for you and full her too.
Just let me know
>>
>>714236538
And fuck her too*
>>
>>714236538
Apart from the cucking part okay. Post pictures of yourself. Thanks anon.
>>
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>>714235516
Ones like this OP
>>
Bump

This will also be an opportunity to get back at your local chad
>>
>>714235516
> then with her simple female brain
gee i wonder why you're having trouble with women
>>
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>>714237582
>>
>>714238145
I'm not usually sexist. It's only after all this that I have started saying shit like this.
>>
>>714235516
WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN THAT PICTURE
>>
>>714238516
You know the majority of girls use dating sites solely to boost their self-esteem, right? If she's young and attractive there is no reason for her to seek out male attention online as it would be heaped on her by every guy she knows irl.
>>
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how about this OP?
>>
>>714238610
Post pictures of an attractive male facebook friend to aid me then I'll tell you.

>>714238680
True. But she is a bit on the chubby side, she doesn't show it on her profile but when I searched her facebook to make sure she's legit I found her to be on the thicc side so I'm not sure how confident she is with finding a guy irl.
>>
>>714235516
NO LIKE SERIOUSLY WHAT THE FUCK AM I LOOKING AT
>>
>>714239110
see >>714239088
>>
>>714239192
NO, YOU FIRST!
>>
>>714239088
Again, you don't understand. So long as a girl is still relatively young and pretty she will get mountains of attention from boys. Even chubby girls because guys assume they're easy. To add on to what I said before; these girls are not obligated to follow through with dates or even ever message you again. Don't go full Elliot just because girls can be fickle.
>>
>>714235516
LOOL WTF MATE, shell be even more freaked out about u catfishing just to explain why u mentioned lobsters have blue blood wtf
>>
>>714239269
fine,
hers what you do, go to photobucket, click browse- recently added.
click through the pages of recently added until you find a suitable shmuck and follow that picture to a more than likely unsecured album of his bitch ass.
ive done this with two people to create realistic facebook for incognito research.
youre welcome
>>
>>714239978
Thanks anon. They're farming horseshoe crab blood. Horseshoe crab blood has many healing properties. Also it's blue.

>>714239357
Calm down, I'm not going to hurt anyone. This time it happened because of a really stupid reason and I've just had enough.

>>714239885
That's not why she stopped talking to me. It's because she thinks I hurt lobsters. I have nothing to lose by trying.
>>
>>714240105
you are really stupid its not the blue blood thing aye its you.
>>
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here
>>
>>714240252
She barely gave me a chance but the messages she sent before that she was really into it; laughing at nothing funny, putting several exclamation marks, shit like that.
>>
>>714240105
WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK.

also, no problem.
also also, other than for the satisfaction of seeing if you can actually pull it off, my opinion is that its just not worth it for a shallow vapid not good for anything but a flesh light girl.

out.
>>
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Shit OP this is sad... You can use a pic of me
>>
>>714240105
why cant u just message her and explain ?

also why would she think u hurt lobsters anyways, just because u said they have blue blood ?

she probably stopped talking becuase its a autistic thing to to mention and argue about.

What if u got catfished ureself, thinking ure meeting a hot girl and it turns out to be this landwhale u ignored trying to explain why she holds a sandwich in her picture
>>
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Another one
>>
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>>714240507
Wait... that's a trap?
>>
>>714240649
Dude, some girls are like that, having chit chat, looking like they're having fun & all, but in reality, they're :
1) polite w you, responding with laugh emotes when you make a joke even if it's not that funny to them, or even show some interest in you because you show interest in them
2) attention whore, they just want ppl to get interested in them, they could do anything for that. Tho, they're not interested in more than that
3) emotional rollercoaster, they felt good talking to you, and then, because their buttered toast fell on the wrong way they're pissed for days, they won't think about that random guy they were talking with because "I don't care, i'm done, just leave me alone", etc.

And many many other reasons. Tho, thinking that you're exploiting the blue blood of lobsters to make healthy juices ain't one of them.
>>
jesus christ give us more green text im fucking on the edge of my toilet here
>>
>>714240944
Everyone would be freaked out by finding out someone they where talking to turned out to be someone else pretending to be that person
>>
>>714240761
Thanks man, I know but if she'll be shallow so will I. She has a very rare and exotic feature about her and it's reach a point where I only want to take back from the bs of life now.

>>714240779
>>714241116
Thanks man. Feel free to disagree with me on this but at first I thought it would be sad but then I thought why is this sad? Because an artificial societal standard doesn't approve? I think it's only fair that I'm taking it a bit further than usual to get back at the bullshit life is giving me. And I know others have it worse but I just decided that's not going to stop me putting my foot down.
>>
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>>714241463
Ok i fr lold at that
>>
>>714235516
Hey OP, i've got a good foolproof b8 for you, here goes:
>get into catfish mode
>get some pic of some random "good looking dude"
>get at her on your dating site
>on fake acc obv
>talk about how you love animals and shit
>get the conversation going about animals
>modulate the conversation to strange/odd/surprising facts about animals
>throw in the lobster and horseshoe crab blue blood thing
>???
>profit

That's how you'll find out if you went full spaghettit or if she really is zealous about harms done to animals

Then get fucked in the ass
>>
>>714241743
Thats the right way to look at it man. You cant let life's bs get in the way. Gotta buck up and fuck her right in the pussy
>>
>>714240944
>autistic thing to talk about
She asked for "cool facts" on her tagline. Why would she ask for something autistic then complain that she's getting something autisitc?

>why cant u just message her and explain ?
You don't think I already tried that. This is my final resort. It took years of the same bullshit for this to happen. My lecturer even catfished me once but I'll save that for another time.

>>714241370
She messaged me first. That's rare for girls to message first.

>>714242121
She might figure out I'm me then.
>>
>>714242139
Also thanks anon. I'm glad someone else gets it.
>>
>>714241743
Holy fucking betafaggot that you are

You want to get revenge at life just because you can't have what you want? I don't think you're old enough to be posting on this site and i just heard your mom tell you to brush your teeth then peepee nightnight

Don't make me come out the covers to beat your ass down, i'm on the verge of going on round 2 with the lady

Ps: your mom's fine af in bed
>>
>>714241893
your eyes are really far apart and you have a pedo tash
>>
>>714238145
KEK
I agree with both
>>
>>714242317
>She might figure out I'm me then.
Yeah but how about getting fucked in the ass then? Atleast you get a consolation prize
>>
>>714242489
>you're acting underage
>le ur mom jokes XD
I found the underagefag. Don't you have school tomorrow?
>>
>>714242790
Nope but i do have to get up at 5 to go to work

Thanks for your concern tho
>>
>>714242539
I just realized the thing with my eyes. Im happy with the spacing of my eyes but i guess its much more apparent in that picture. I like the thing with the stache and goatee. Or whatever tf that thing is
>>
>>714239885
>>714240105
yeah she will freak out, move on men plenty more lobsters in the sea
>>
>>714242317
If you think that what you're doing is a good idea then you have much bigger issues than not getting laid. You won't even be able to catfish properly because you'll be fixated on getting revenge. That shit will find it's way into your messages and then they'll stop talking to you just like before.
>>
>>714242317
Anon, it's normal that with the little experience of women you had, you're overthinking some actions girls can do to you. I was exactly like you, 19 kissless virgin, overthinking about shits like "she messaged me first", "she said xD at my joke", "she said good night :*"
=> it must mean she's interested in me !

But all of this is bs, most of the time, girls don't think twice about shits they write, they "feel" like writing it that way at one particular moment, they don't rationally think of the consequences of an emote, a word, a reaction, etc.
Tho, thoses feelings can vary so much based on their day, their actual mood, what they ate for lunch, etc.

Tl;dr : Don't translate something a girl do into something a girl think about you, 90% of the time you will be disappointed.
>>
>>714235516
Why waste your time with that?
You're just fuck it up anyway
..You're a spaz
Go ahead and waste more of your time tho idgaf
>>
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>>714242913
Is that like a career day at school where you talk about how you want to be an astronaut?

>>714242998
That's the same thing I have been trying for years.

>>714243282
Maybe so. But what do I lose from trying? Her friends several cities away who I'm never going to meet think I'm a weirdo? Also I'm 21 now and still a virgin I have to try something.

>>714243503
If you don't give a fuck then why are you telling me this. Go ahead and waste more of your time.
>>
>>714241743
dont forget to grab them by the pussy
>>714242121
THIS
>>714242317
>She might figure out I'm me then.
No, if you play it subtle
>>
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>>714243282
Yeah dont take what they say seriously girls bullshit a lot. And they love puppies
>>
>>714243952
I probably shouldnt post pics on 4chan i might become a meme one day
>>
>>714243952
Dude lol just stop you're not even remotely good looking enough for someone to catfish with. You are the definition of average. It's just embarrassing at this point.
>>
>>714243748
You're right to try something, there is nothing wrong in it, you'll get some experience from that, it's all gud. I just don't want you to feel like she was in your pocket at one point & feel terrible once you found out that she wasn't interested in you at all (if that happen to be the case).
Go & do your thing. Just remember that the worst thing you can try to do, is to think you know what's happening in their mind. A girl can sound rly interested when she's not, and rly uninterested when she is, and we, self conscious men, we usually wrongly translate what they do, what they say into what they think.
I'm not speaking to you about that particular girl. Having what I said to you in mind could be useful to you one day, as it is to me atm.
>>
>>714244364
Its always the internet people who say shit like that -.-
>>
>>714244364
OP here. It's better than not posting pictures at all.
>>
>>714244364
Wouldn't it too fking obvious to catfish with a topmodel ? geez anon, he's looking good enough, more than that and they could feel the bait
>>
>>714238610
I've seen some shit in my time, but this is the fucking stuff of nightmares, Christ.
>>
>>714244677
because we don't have to be polite to spare peoples feelings online
>>714244730
Go do literally anything else with your time. Fuck a hooker instead of this school-shooter tier stuff.
>>714244733
Not saying he should use a top model. Being good looking is only half of catfishing anyways. You need to be charming enough to get them to meet up with you, and if OP could do that he wouldn't be here writing his manifesto.
>>
LOL OP reminds me of
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gvd66ehWwso
doo eeeit
>>
>>714244573
Thanks for the advice anon
>>
Maybe we should make this a faces of b thread and see who should be the catfish thing or whatever this is
>>
>>714245199
>>714235516
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W6Zwbj7INEM
>>
>>714245169
Just go cry in corner
>>
>>714245169
>Go do literally anything else with your time. Fuck a hooker instead of this school-shooter tier stuff.
Then why are you doing this with your time? Also women have unbelievably high standards these days. They expect to have Robert Downey Jr. Then wonder why they're on a dating site as long as I have been.
>>
>>714242913
>brags about being working adult on /b/
>>
>>714245276
good idea
>>
>>714245545
All I'm trying to do is to stop OP from doing something really stupid to get very petty revenge on a stranger from the internet. I mean, if this is the kind of person he is maybe there is a good reason people stopped messaging back.
>>
>>714245880
Dont mind the fuckboy. But what are you really doing? Are you trying to prank girls on dating sites?
>>
>>714245880
I'm doing this because I have the night off and I'm bored. I know it's hard to believe but they're actually people with different individual tastes. You can't assume that because they're on a dating site that they're desperate losers.
>>
>>714246193
He's trying to catfish a specific girl from a dating site because she stopped messaging him back.
>>
If you already messaged her with an explanation and she didn't reply then she's not interested dude. You're going to make yourself look like a psycho by catfishing her man. You have a better chance with her if you do nothing.
>>
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>>714235516
here is my pic man go crazy
>>
>>714246565
Looks like a pretty cool dude. Just need some hot shades and a photo shop lambo and op might get it
>>
>>714245941
>very petty revenge on a stranger from the internet
Are you autistic. I already said this is to get even with "life". This goes back way further than some random bitch on the internet. All my life, life had been giving me shit and not just with be being a 21 year old virgin. This is just me taking a stance against the bullshit of life, the devil, god or whatever you want to call it.

>>714246209
>spending your night off whiteknighting some girl you've never even seen
Wow, I envy you man.

>>714246520
She didn't even open my message with the explanation. It's as if the lobster message ended it for her.
Thread posts: 79
Thread images: 14


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