Well /b/ I bought a whore last night. Anyone wanna know the story?

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I bought a duck from the fruit market last night.
Anyone wanna know the story?
They told me it was a duck.
Maybe you have some tips for me.

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>>714127658
>be in Las Vegas
>last of my friends pussies out
>it's way too early for me to stop
>want more
>horny
>no place to bring girl back too
>hotel room packed with sleeping bros
>backpage.com
>look for incalls
>see solid 8/10 hottie
>grab number and text it
>you have some free time tonight?
>actually I do
>it's on

>>714128117
>she texts me that she's not BS and will do a HH (half hour) for 150 and HR for 200
>spring for 200
>she tells me what hotel she's at
>I über over
>to the wrong fucking hotel because retarded
>she's wondering where I am
>tell her I'm still a ways off
>pay for another damn über
>get there
>text her
>oh sorry anon you took so long I decided to get done food
>I'll be right back
>is this bitch fucking serious?

>>714128380
Anyone reading? I can continue.

>I peeled back its yellow skin and started to suck on the soft inside
>the duck juice ran down my chin and onto my sticky lap
>I kept peeling, sucking, chewing and swallowing the duck
>it was too late to stop

>>714128460
HOT

>>714128451
Yes continues

>by this time I had nibbled the duck down to the nub
>nothing left but the yellow skin and the stain in my lap
>I paid the duck and left

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>when I finished the duck I went back to my room
>I was still hungry and horny
>tfw duck didn't satisfy.org
>climbed on the cross to stop from hurting myself

>>714128380
>decide to wait because fuck it
>lobby band is actually pretty good
>she's texting me updates the whole time
>ok baby I'm ready come on up
>it's time
>proceed to navigate to room
>I finally arrive
>get a bit nervous
>think of cop stings and set ups
>remember tips and tricks and what to say/not say
>remember her ad said NO BLACK GUYS
>kek
>that's worth a knock at least
>I knock and she opens the door
>solid 8/10 cutie
>exactly like her photo
>nice
>I enter room
>big and spacious with amazing view
> I sit on bed and so does she
>before we do anything anon
>let's take care of business first
>she leaves to bathroom
>closes door
> I put money on dresser
>she comes out and stashes it
>ok anon I'm ready

>>714129149
lurking cont.

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>after three hours on anti masturbation cross
>bored.jpg
>still horny
>put money on dresser
>lets take care of business first
>get out my hand pump
>blow up my JESUS doll
>ok anon I'm ready

>>714129149
This is good keep going!!

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>were both standing between the beds
>I grab her and start making out with her
>those fucking LIPS
>fuck
>I grab her and push her onto the bed
>I mount her
>can't get enough of those lips
>I pull her dress up
>small titties but nice nipples
>I start sucking and teasing them
>she's moaning
>real or fake?
>doesn't matter
>more foreplay
>I undress her completely
>cute little body
>I tease and kiss and lick most everywhere
>I take off my clothes
>I start having her pose a few different ways during this
>I want to see everything
>she starts jerking me
>kissing and jerking
>hey anon why don't we put a condom on this thing and really get started
>fuck yeah
>puts it on
>begins sucking
>THOSE FUCKING LIPS
>after five minutes I tell her to stop and climb on top
>she begins to fuck me like a jack rabbit
>no
>I tell her to stop

Bros if you can tell me how to shrink an image I'll post her pic

>>714129149
MFW Op didnt pre-type...

>>714129149
Come on, op, are you finished yet?

>>714130037
http://www.picresize.com/

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>rat come in
>hooks up to my phone
>sits down on the bed and starts to read a book out loud
>just sounds like squeaking to me
>wtf

>>714130037
Google > "crop image online" > Your Choice

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>>714129699
need moar

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>suddenly a knock at the door
>rectum delivery!
.tfw you didn't order rectums
>rat smiles at me

bump for more ducktales

>about to smash that rat for buying shit with my credit card
>but there's another knock on the door
>I open
>it's me goku

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>pay for pork rectums
>tip rectum delivery guy a rectum
>I'm generous.com
>dog crawls out from under the bed
>chews on a rectum and swallows
>dogvomit.net
>rat eats the big pieces before I can get to them.

>>714130037
Op Dont stop now!

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>had to pay a woman for sex
>offering advice

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>>714130037
Before I continue I need to admit something bros. I'm not trying to brag but I know how to fuck and i know how women fuck. At this point I knew it was an act. I don't like that. I like to fuck a girl until she can't walk straight.

>she stops and seems confused
>you want me to stop?
>no I just want you on your back
>I flip her and enter
>so fucking tight
>slow at first
>slow but deep
>look at her very closely
>she's starting to feel it I can tell
>hips jerking
>moaning cadence changing
>skin trembling
>she starts to grab her own tits and squeezes them hard
>I hold both her hands up
>suck on her tits
>while increasing my fucking rate steadily
>harder and harder
>she starts almost screaming
>don't stop ANON don't stop!
>at the height of it she lets out fuck ke daddy!
>well that explains the whole whore thing
>her body becomes limp
>breathing hard both of us
>sweaty
>omg ANON my hands are numb
>why are my hands numb?
>this has never happened before
>she goes to bathroom and I hear her running water over her hands
>kek
>she comes back
>that's never happened before
>well then that means you've never been fucked like that before
>no anon I haven't
>you're ready for more right?
>she looks surprised
>um yes!
>GOOD

Pic very fucking related

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>start to pick out a nice brain
>this one looks good
>scrambled eggs and brains in my future
>sausage queen comes out of the closet.
>love at first sight
>she cooks brains for me

>>714131576

This is sad shit fam
you actually believe you rocked a hookers world

>tfw OP wouldn't batter a sausage

>>714131786
Fucking lol

>>714131845
This

>>714131576

Got to agree. It's surprising how few men really know how to fuck. I've gotten some pretty wide eyes from women who were getting something wholly new to them.

>>714131576
lol he thinks she wasnt faking

>>714131576
well done broski. but tell me, did you lick her pooper?

>>714131845
>This is sad shit famyou actually believe you rocked a hookers world
ya, at least I got the sausage queen to make me breakfast

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>>714132249

>>714131576
>>I hold both her hands up
>suck on her tits
>cut off the circulation in her hands
>why are my hands numb?
>this has never happened before

>>714132494

fucking kek

Is there more op or are you done?

>>714131845
>>714131977
>>714131985
You all maybe 100% correct but I just don't think you are. She could've put on a great show but really then if she was good enough to fool me than even better right? I had a great time.

>I flip her on her stomach
>I begin fucking her
>this is my favorite position
> I eye the clock because I need to get off soonish
> 20 minutes left
>I got some time
>this is for me now
>so I begin fucking her pretty hard
>getting close
>she stops me
>anon I'm sorry it hurts
>it gets really sensitive after I cum
>im sorry
>I was RIGHT there
>I tell her it's no problem
>I begin again but going less deep
>fast and shallow
>excellent for sore vaginas
>I'm not getting there
>begin too imagine my GF being there and participating
>that's the ticket
>cum buckets
>she goes to clean up
>brings me my towel
>clean up and get dressed
>if I'm ever back in Vegas I will look you up again
>please fucking do Anon
>a last kiss and I'm on my way

10//10 experience guys. I've been with a few whores but she was easily my favorite. The pussy was good but those LIPS god damn.

Sounds like OP lost his virginity to a hooker in 3 minutes and then bragging like you made her night.

This is some sad shit OP.

>>714133123
Any pic where we can see her lips better?

Link the necklace Backpage ad. I wanna see her other pics.

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Is your name Atom OP?

You did better than me. Same situation, but I way too nervous and uncomfortable with someone being close and intimate with me to maintain a strong boner or cum. Not an ugly or overweight guy, she was pretty hot. Tried everything, different positions, blowjobs, and spent way too much money on several attempts.

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>>714133353
I have one

>>714133714
IT happens bro. You need experience and confidence. It still happens to me on occasion though. It's largely mental.

>>714133123
>>714131576
>>714130037

Fake and ghey/she's a hell of an actress.
Plus you got STDs now.
I don't see the appeal in prostitution.
Stripping, yeah, but not actual intercorse.
One-way ticket to Dick-fall-off Town.

Saved you some time just in case anons
http://lasvegas.backpage.com/FemaleEscorts/new-vegas-bombshell-special-150-hh/23618319

>>714133832
Yeah she's hot as fuck, disregarding that dumb piercing.

>>714133960
>implying a hooker would fuck without a condom you virgin

>>714133960
100% not fake. The point of prostitution is to get fast effortless ass. It's not for everybody that's cool. I fuck every whore with a condom and I've been STD free for the whole time. Not even HPV here. I like to fuck a lot of women with minimal effort and I have a lot of money so whores are perfect. But you do have to be careful and selective. I never fuck whores drunk or otherwise impaired.

>>714134128
>Czech

Did she have an accent, op?

PS thanks for the link

>>714134294

>blowjobs and mouth-to-mouth contact you tard
You might sprain an ankle jumping to conclusions, there.

>>714134570
fuck, you got me there. I totally fucking spaced

>>714134567
I slight accent yes. I like Eastern Europeans too.