Whats the worst thing youve done while drunk b? I need to hear

What you did. but much worse.

>>714039085
Is pic related your bad idea?

>>714039085
What'd you do tho???

File: 1403326880713.jpg (108KB, 500x667px) Image search: [Google]

108KB, 500x667px

>>714039085
greeen text your story then we will judge you

cheated, stolen shit, destroyed shit

got drunk and cheated on my girl with a fat girl at a comic con.

if still hungover op depression can be a symptom. wait it out you'll feel better later

>>714039085
ahhh lots of stuff...

drugged my girlfriend (slipped her 4 lorazepam in her beer) she passed out and stole 20 bucks from her to buy more beer.

i fingered 2 broads when they were passed out at my buddy's apartment.


ahhhh i dunno, lots a bad shit

Probably not thee worse, but one time this hot chick was hitting on me at a bar on the dance floor, and my drunk uncle gets my attention and tells drunk me to tell her i'll eat her pussy out, like, it will work. I do it and she takes it really the wrong way and vanishes into her flock of friends. Uncle thought that was worth me not getting layed.

Not that much. Made out with my gay best friend and never told my girlfriend.

cheated on my gf

what did you do op

posted on /b/ right now

hit a 9yo mexican kid when i was driving drunk, didnt stop. was lonnng ago

drove drunk and crashed my car
still not as bad as when I hooked up with an ugly bitch

glassed my ex's new bf

i fucked one of the girls in that pic lol

I came in some girl named Jamie twice at a party and I don't even know if she was 18

I drove her home to her dad's the next morning and she gave me her number with a little heart drawn over the i

Never called her

>>714039085
I fucked a fat bitch. Big mistake, she wouldn't go away after that. Kept stalking me and trying to.get together

>>714039723
Do tell...

man alot of fat chick fucking lol

Brought a tranny home from the bar without knowing it was a tranny. It sucked my dick and then started to take off its dress and i noticed its dick. Freaked out for a second. Told him to fuck me in the ass. After that I kicked it out of my house and went to bed.

File: 2016-12-04 01.02.52.png (581KB, 600x800px) Image search: [Google]

581KB, 600x800px

Watched this go down when in college

>>714039085
>2012
>Employee for my dad's small tree company
>Best years of my life, didn't know it till they were gone
anyway
>Dad is notorious for underpaying employees and generally fucking them over
>Turns out his own son is not an exception
>Drinking with co-worker at his house
>Decide to go get our paychecks at dads house
>Drive drunk 10 miles
>Stepmom is only one there (don't get excited)
>Gives me a check for $200 dollars for a 60 hour week of hard fucking work
>lose my shit and call out the bullshit
>Say some deeply harmful personal things about our relationship and everything
>Break some shit I can't remember
>Headbutt a tree
>Headbutt the cold ground
>Run into the highway trying to kill myself because I'd realized how I've fucked everything up
>Half sister cries and asks "what's wrong with anon? :'( "
>Don't remember after that
>Dad says he's going to break the rest of my teeth out (I'd busted my face on concrete in the 3rd grade from a pogo stick accident)

>>714040125
lel nice one faggot

File: 1477608559009.jpg (26KB, 512x384px) Image search: [Google]

26KB, 512x384px

I don't remember.

gangbanged an ugly black girl

>>714040164
whats it like to be autistic

>>714040131
WTF?! Lunch lady?

>>714039994
NYE she came to my best mates small house party and started making out with him.
drank a whole bottle of jacks and a few beers
hooked up with couple chicks to try feel better and was fine.
they came right over to where I was sitting and started making out
I said shit
guy pushed me I wouldve hit my head had mate not caught me
guy grabbed me
grabbed him and lifted by his shoulders, pushed thumbs in til his arms went limp
he tried to punch when I dropped him
I was quicker

very quickly removed myself from the situation. made sure everyone was okay, apologised to homeowner and went home. talked to my ex's parents for a long time about it the next day cos she wouldnt talk to me

>>714039085
Flirt with a 16-year-old in front of her mother and talk about wanting to fuck her. It was in a third-world country where 16 is legal, and we were all drunk, except for the mother. I remember she just fucking glared at me the entire night.

File: 1324185949084.png (379KB, 446x600px) Image search: [Google]

379KB, 446x600px

>>714040164
I just had a guy next to the house we were working on ask if we could remove a tree for him. I got shit from my partner for telling him $200, for one tree. He went and priced it from a couple tree companies: $1000

Fuck $200 a week, that's not even half of one medium sized tree.

>>714040360
Nice

>>714040131
Damn that looks trashy as hell. Would not bang and I'd bang most.

>>714040359
Kek, we were a wild crowd. Just some old trashy broad. Felt bad I let him go through with it

>>714039085
Fucked a Filipino girl who was in a serious relationship.
She slit up her legs and killed herself a few months later.
I was 16.
Haven't been drunk since.

Either when in college hooking up with a 16 year old that I met at a party and licking her asshole or fingering a passed out chick.

>>714040583
We made him go get tested that monday

Took a $300 taxi home, so nothing too bad

cheated on gf, verbally abused gf, drove on countless occasions while on the job delivering pizzas, stolen all kinds of shit, got a prostitute, gotten in fights, the list goes on and on..

>>714040764
Did he catch anything?

>>714040245
have fun with aids

Well, I fucked a guy, threw up in a restaurant, walked home, destroyed a shit load of irreplaceable family heirlooms my great grandfather carved and drunk sexted another guy. Yeye good times amirite?

fingered a girl's ass while she was passed out. To this day I occasionally think "why the fuck did i do that, I could be in jail"

>>714040894
No, he was good. He must have had a rubber on

>>714040700
dafuq crazy bitch

Nothing that I remember. So I have plausible deniability

>>714039699
did he die?

>>714039085
off topic, but that thot in the middle of OP's pic has one of the best bodies I've ever seen!

Forced someone to listen to me singing Basket Case by Green Day for 2 hours without taking a break.

>>714039085
Crashed my car into a ditch, launched it off the one side of the ditch into a corn field, rolled 6x. I broke my neck in the same place that people who get hung break theirs. Obviously I'm still alive, this is because I am The Antichrist.

>>714039085
I was both high and drunk so just remember that, I got up from where I was sitting ran outside like the classic "weeaboo run" then yelled "Y'ALL NIGGAS NEED TO COME SEE THIS" (I am very white) where I started repeatedly punching a tree and singing the go go power rangers theme song then I layed in the ground with my knuckles bloody and said, "I saved the world once again" I then called my ex and left a voicemail on her mailbox that said "I SAVED THE WORLD FROM THE FUCKING ALIENS FOR US!!!" And then ran up the street to my friends house and without knocking ran in are all of their food and passed out on their couch.

>>714041098
no. turned out he and a friend had just broke into a house a few minutes before. karma is a bitch

>>714039085
moar of pic op
sauce?

I'm totally hetero, but I fucked a guy and he fucked me as well (with no condom...worst moment of my life)

>>714041230
nice I did something like that in high school

>>714041192
Great song, but 2 hours?

>>714041011
That's the thought that lets me sleep at night.

>>714040978
I'm sure she didn't mind
victimless crime unless you get caught doing it by some whiteknight

>>714041327
Really what did you do?

very very very extremely cringey texts and stuff to my ex's and other girls

File: 1463288543826.jpg (276KB, 608x590px) Image search: [Google]

276KB, 608x590px

>>714040164
>Same place in East Texas
>Get straight with Dad and stay employed for a while longer
>Girlfriend living with me in my 20' travel trailer
>She needs to gtfo of my life
>Refuses
>always spends her entire paycheck the day she gets it on bullshit and is a parasite in general
>One day, dad drops me off at my house and my truck is gone
>Needed to take care of some important business that night, instead left stranded
>Ex gf blowing her paycheck and God knows what else in Dallas with friends
>Angry
>Get drunk
>Bitch comes home at 3am
>Have all her shit in a pile outside my front door
>Whore goes aggro
>Argue
>Bitch wants to get rough with me
>I punch a hole in my wall
>She punches me
>Gets in my face screaming so loud she's spitting in my face "HIT ME!"
>Bust her forehead open with a headbutt
>She starts crying and calls police
>She deserved it since she put her hands on me like a man
>Cops come and see me drunk and she's bleeding
>Go to jail for the night
>Come back to my ransacked house
>Nothing left
>Probation for two years with AA meetings
>Move back in with parents

>>714039085
>be drunk at uni
>hanging out with quidditch team
>be alone with captain for a bit
>start talking about her life or whatever
>seems she's been struggling with shit
>enter drunken zen mode
>start spewing some shit I read in the Tao te Ching
>even drunk, can tell she thinks I'm a bigger autist than your average quidditch player
>try to save face
>had just read Allstar Superman
>go in to some prattle about how we should all try to live like Superman, be 100% honest, always put other people before ourselves, always take a minute to think before doing something so nobody gets screwed
>tfw everyone else was kekking like motherfuckers down the hall while I did this
>tfw I was referred to as "Clark" until I graduated

>>714040565
Tree work ain't for pussies. East Texas got tall pines and all kinds of dense shit. I ain't gonna try to convince anyone here fuck, but we were hardcore

File: 1478214431724.png (132KB, 380x496px) Image search: [Google]

132KB, 380x496px

>>714039085
sucked my long time friends dick, my 1st sexual experience and it was with a man.. shit happens. still friends with him and few months after that I started hooking up with his ex.

Threw away $300

>>714039085
I need lefts ass in my face.

>>714041318
I sometimes do gay shit when I'm drunk, desperate and horny. That shit is the worst, fuck unsupervised drunk me.

I was shitfaced, puking my guts out in the bathtub at my mom's house, I told my sister right in front of my mother, ''you know, you are pretty fine, if you weren't my sister I'd totally hit that'' didn't exactly go over well

>>714041655
Had to go for someone that still had the flavor of his penis huh?

>>714041192
Hopefully they were drunk too...

>Drank way WAY too much
>woke up next day
>and
>remembered i illegally downloaded a song off interwebs

File: swanson.png (652KB, 940x715px) Image search: [Google]

652KB, 940x715px

>>714041766
ehh ya. shits weird, there was way too much of this going on between everyone in our friend group late high school and the cpl years after.

>>714041650
I wouldn't fuck with a good sized tree, I know. This one was a Mulberry about 15 feet high. I could have chopped it up from the top down as spread out as it was. The kicker is the guy had his own chainsaw. He was gonna cut it down, we just had to cut it up and haul it off.

File: Busty asian - Imgur.gif (2MB, 500x250px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 500x250px

>>714039085
At a party i fucked this blitzed girl dry anal. Made her ass bleed, came inside and never called her after

>>714041874
from napster???

Not very much tbh, some friends came to my house, got drunk and passed out, there are pics of me naked on my bed with a tennis racquet, that's shit tho. Also cringy texts and that shit.

>>714041098
no, it was just extremely painful

>>714041505
>Equality

>>714039085
>Whats the worst thing youve done while drunk b?
Gave a 15 year old a kiss on the cooch.

>>714041754
Fucked my brother in the ass when I was shitfaced. Not even joking. Alcoholism is retarded

>>714041989
>No youtube!
>wats naspter?

>>714041471
I chugged some vodka then punched a metal garbage can (hand was fucked) and yelled at a random on the sidewalk "WHO THE FUCK IS THIS NIGGER", also started fucking with people's cars trying to open doors and shit

>>714040947
Fuck you

>>714042061
>fucked brother
GG you fucking idiot

>>714040947
I think you might just be gay

had consensual sex with a member of the opposite sex in the missionary position for the sole purpose of procreation

don't judge me, i was really, really fucking drunk

>>714039085

>got wasted on a 12 pack of beer by myself
>fucked a fat chick that wanted me
>I'm thin and good looking
>she was fat as fuck, morbidly obese
>I never told anyone
>ashamed to this day

Let a gay dude suck my dick.
I didn't finish but I wish I did

>>714042275
That meme is gayer than the guy getting drunk and fucking guys.

>>714042275
did you make a baby or did you fail at that like youve failed everything else in your life?

>>714039085
Tons of shite

-wake up and hold t shirt that i had on me, to make a cup to vomit in, carry the shit out while t shirt still on me
-comit out of the car window while driving, vomit was inside and outside the door..yuck
-once i parked my car in the garage, breaking the side mirror
-once i drove close to cars in the street to close their side mirrors with my still remaining mirror
-went to a strip club with 5friends and have a gangbang with one of the dancers for 10e each (not so bad really)
-after a gig, i was complaining to the singer of my favourite band, how one of their members suck and i can totally replace him

Tons of shite bro, take it easy

>>714041648
kek, good one Clark

File: 042408bulger001 2.jpg (62KB, 960x540px) Image search: [Google]

62KB, 960x540px

Flattened a whole parking lot of police cars , stabbed every tire at a party I beat the host up at. Did an entire parking lot at a dealership. Every week for a whole summer I would get drunk and cut the same guys cable line. The stuff with guns gets really bad front page stuff. Now I work for the atf building guns

>>714042275
Did it work?

>>714042000
Nice trips

>>714042378
>>714042417
It did not.

>>714042514
Luckyyyyy

>>714042412
that's fucking twisted, you fucked over so many people

File: swanson 2.jpg (77KB, 1000x500px) Image search: [Google]

77KB, 1000x500px

>>714041655
oh also, I wrecked a car in the snow driving incredibly fast and narrowly avoided killing my friend and two strangers. All underage, not sure if the girls in the back were even 18. But that one somehow ended up ok and everyone involved kinda laughs about it now.

>>714042412
Also raped this girl

>>714040700
Dude, don't worry about it alright, I know saying that not knowing me or my life or my experiences but man, seriously, don't worry about it. Crazy people are abundant in the world, but a vast majority of them are cray bitches, if she didn't kill herself because of that it would have been something else I guarantee it. Weak people do weak shit eventually or they grow the fuck up. Go out and get a few beers start soft make sure you don't get drunk and have a panic attack take it slow at the start, no reason you should fuck up drinking for yourself over some bitch.

>>714042000
for you?

Asked sis if she wanted to "have some fun" she gets mad and I laugh. Next morning mom sits me down to ask me about it, could tell it freaked her out. Told her I was just joking and laugh. People will make themselves believe in the possibility that scares them the least. Not worried at all. Honestly wouldn't care anyway if they knew I meant it I've never given a shit. She probably would do it if I was more subtle about it she's freaky and I can tell she's sexually into me. Used to do stuff together minor as kids

>>714041942
Yeah brother, I know exactly what you're saying. Cleaning that shit up is always the hardest part. Then you have dumbasses who don't know fuck about a chainsaw wanting you to saw through dirt to get a stump out, their own 20 year old Walmart Poulan saw dull as fuck from the same problem. 15 foot ain't shit.

We hauled out this fuckirng HUGE red oak uphill for the crotchetyest old man in the world once. Measured it out 6 foot diameter, and the motherfucker had a huge beehive in it. Got stung so much it made me get high lol. Our little skid steer managed to get it on the trailer in two foot slices, fucked our shit up, truck barely pulled it out. Luckily our dump was close. Good times man wish I would've took pictures.

>>714039575
>>714040739
>>714040978
>>714041466
That's still considered rape though, you shouldn't be drinking if you do that sorta shit

>>714039694
yeah same

>>714042000
You're a big guy

>>714039085
>be 23
>go out with aunt to Olive Garden
>aunt was 37 divorcée one kid my cousin
>that weekend my cusing was with his father beacuse custody
>she invite me to go out because I'm the loser in the family that never goes out
>we talk for hours about school future plans her life and work
>she had way to much wine
>ask me to drive her home
>arrived to her placer
>she wants to continue drinking and talking
>I start drinking too
>after an hour I can hold my senses
>I tried to kiss her
>she flat out rejects me
>I try again... getting horny
>she slaps me
>she enjoys that
>we laughed the she kiss me
>we are making out
>after taking her dress off
> she start a giving angry falatio
>her woman need having been fullfilled in a while
>we are fucking doggie style on her living room
>the wine and the smell of her asshole are making me nauseous
> very exited and the constan trusting of my hips against her are making dizzy
>I feel like puking
>feel like also cumming
>puke on my aunt asshole and vomits gets all over the carpet
>vagina liquid, jizz, and carpet all over floor
>feel like crying
>ant is very angry Beacuse she didn't it get to orgasm and now she and her floor are cover on bodily fluids

>>714039085
I got kicked out of a house party with my friend when I we got too drunk and they refused to let us back in so we took our anger out on some random guy walking from his car to his house.

Totally beat the shit out of him for a good minute and a half for no reason other then he looked at us and we were mad. Never got caught but I stopped drinking heavily after that but still can't seem to stop drinking altogether.

File: IMG_1974.jpg (32KB, 526x526px) Image search: [Google]

32KB, 526x526px

>>714043035

File: 165789_1792934550926_7695913_n.jpg (42KB, 720x540px) Image search: [Google]

42KB, 720x540px

>>714042412
One time I got some GHB got this girl and guy at a friends house to drink it in some vodka and orange juice. When they both passed out i fucked the shit literally out of the girl ripped her ass bloody, then undressed the guy and through them both in the same bed.

>>714043035
What happened after this?

>>714042944
No guy would mind if a chick jacked them a little while they were passed out, stories like >>714041505 kinda make me stop giving a shit about how women feel. About three weeks ago I went into to work, just after Donald Trump won the election and all the girls were crying about how it was the end of the world, all the guys speaking to them were agreeing and shit even though I knew for a fact most of them hated Hilary or supported Trump. I just made an excuse to leave the conversion whenever it came up, why the fuck do I care about American politics, I live in fucking New Zealand. I'm not going to be one of those guys who just unconditionally agrees with everything an attractive girl says either, so fuck lying about your opinions to keep friends or get laid. I seriously have no respect for any of my colleagues.

I don't even know what I'm replying to anymore, but it sure got me fired up on fucking women.

>>714043506
Jesus christ, what happened next?

File: 1479704839767.jpg (179KB, 1052x701px) Image search: [Google]

179KB, 1052x701px

>>714042412
I was once over at my friends house when he wasnt there and did not know I had showed up. I went on his email and saw that his new boss hads sent him a christmas card of his wife and young kids. I emailed him back pretending to be my friend and asked If he could send me some pictures of his kids naked. My friend lost his dream job lol

>>714043234
That's not cool... I-I could've been that random guy

>>714043035
That was hot as fuck until you fucked it up anon

>>714043506
You fucking madman, congrats though!

File: 1476062718000.jpg (29KB, 640x540px) Image search: [Google]

29KB, 640x540px

>>714043506
She told her exboyfriend and he beat the guy upin a parking lot. I later used it all as a way to hook up with girl who developed a horrible drinking problem and I used to rape her when she was drunk with icicles I grabbed outside the window.

>>714039575
https://youtu.be/ZEvQOPUHGH8
Are you this guy?

>>714043020
See >>714042853

>>714044024
If this is true you are truly the king of /b/ I pledge my allegiance to you

File: 82504436.jpg (56KB, 500x498px) Image search: [Google]

56KB, 500x498px

>>714042412
I consider myself ahead of the curve and most people are just victims....I stopped drinking. I love the monster I have become

File: thumbsup.jpg (75KB, 720x1280px) Image search: [Google]

75KB, 720x1280px

>>714043035

>>714039085
Dragged home a landwhale to a friends place I was staying at.

File: tumblr_inline_oewrs2CBdq1qahech_500.png (142KB, 415x367px) Image search: [Google]

142KB, 415x367px

>>714039085
>be 22 at a college frat party
>was watching over my bro who trying to hit on girls
>goodtimes.jpeg
>4am rolls in and we're both pretty fucking wasted
>Uber back to my place
>as we arrive home I've sobered up a bit
>dragged my buddy inside
>while in the process of preparing the couch for him to crash on. Accidentally fell and my dick slipped in his ass
>ohshitfuck
>tried to get up but just fell back down nailing him deeper
>blacked out
>next day rolls in we act like nothing happened
>weird part is that he still hasn't said no homo

>>714043801
Maybe. As fucked up as it was it made me a way better person and slow down with my drinking problem.

Whenever I drink now and start thinking that what happened that night "really wasn't that bad after all" I call it a night and go to bed.

I fucked my friends girlfriend and fucked around with one girl who was married and one girl who had a boyfriend. I was sober during all of this. That makes it even worse. Im a piece of shit and ive accepted that.

>>714039699
In NC? We're looking for you

>>714044632
nah

I don't remember this but my friends and the girl I did it to all told me the same story the next day but this is by dfar the worst thting ive done i think

Took off my pants (had boxers on) and chaced the hostess of the house around telling her to die and to go fuck herself called her a whore and stuff. Didn;t even know her so no idea why drunk me would do this. apologized the next day but Definitely affected her too much for us to talk normally after that

>>714039085

Those asses. Fuck.

Lost my virginity when I was 14 to a 29 year old Dutch girl.

>>714044632
Lol shut the fuck up faggot.

>>714044951
not bad

>>714042183
id probably kill myself how do you live with that

>>714039085
drove

>Be me few years ago
>with family at an NFL game
>Shit is WAY overpriced there
>Im talking $7.50 for one beer
> $18 for a mixed drink
>find an in stadium bar
>Start buying shit for random ppl
>shit faced so dont know any better
>Game is over
>get tab
>its $600
Now days I leave my card at home when I go and only bring about $40 in cash with me

>>714043622
You replied to me and I'm not sure why I'm here either. Just drunk, sleep deprived, and talkative.
The weirdest part is that people in New Zealand care about American politics. No one I know gives a fuck, and I live in North Mexico (Texas). Fuck bitch made men. There's way more to life than what they have between their legs.

>>714039085
fucked a dude

>16 just went through a messy break up
>depressed all week
>"hey anon come out with us on friday"
>"drinking away your troubles will cure your woes anon"
>themed party so i dress up like a cowboy
>friends had made an "american plague" mix of straight vodka and straight tequelia for the LOL's
>depressed me gives no fucks of the potential hangover and wants the blissfull oblivion only alcohol can bring
>to drunk to understand a thing like limits and so i drink ALOT
>cops appear
>Flee to the hills (screaming they'll never take me alive)
>black out
>wake up in a caravan (the fuck)
>feel sick and confused, must solve problems
>Vomit everywhere..Need to pee...Pee everywhere (problems solved)
>Can't open the door
>KICK THE DOOR OUT
>lock the door behind me because it could get trashed by ethnics
>try and find my bearings
>an airbase, lake and 3 barbed wire fences are between me and the starting point
>decide to just walk home

Cont?

File: 1388755003229.jpg (140KB, 1000x963px) Image search: [Google]

140KB, 1000x963px

>>714039085
>Work for small Haz-waste
>do all the crazy shit military does not want to do, WMDs, Nuke Material, IEDs, Acid Clouds ect
>Loved the money, the rush, and showing the US military who really had the biggest balls
>Get hammered with the bosses son one night
>Really good guy, hard worker, good in a fight
>He gets a call from the boss, puts it on speaker but doesnt tell him
>Boss says he is gonna lay me off and hire his best friend from college's daughter cause Boss thinks he can get her to suck his dick
>I blurt out "Yeah good luck getting her to take apart Oxygen Candles!"
If you fuck up treating Oxygen Candles, you will either blow up or create enough Chlorine Dioxide gas to waste a few dozen people
>He gets mad, backtracks saying it was a joke, then hangs up
>Next week I get laid off
>She is brought in the next week
>I get hammered, and build a KMNO bomb
>Detonate it under the bosses lifted F350
>Whole thing goes up in flames in a minute
>Boss knows it was me, but if he does to the cops then he would have to admit that he gave me bomb making material so that he wouldnt have to pay to dispose of it.
>three months later he loses all his contracts because his son get hurt, and this girl literally does nothing on the job.

>>714045445
Do it

>>714045445
Nope, just shut the fuck up retard.

>>714039575
you sound pretty despicable even for 4chan

>>714041505
Are you the same kid that got suspended for abusing his girlfriend in a parking lot?

File: 1480657672380.jpg (24KB, 364x366px) Image search: [Google]

24KB, 364x366px

>>714039085
Ive done some shit
Cheated on my girl with 2 chicks, a whore, and fucked a dude. I drink alot. Puked up alot of blood tonight. I need to rethink my life
>>714045445
Go on.

>>714045548
Nice

File: 4L_AhvMR2Yf.jpg (39KB, 480x377px) Image search: [Google]

39KB, 480x377px

While drunk? Hmm... Was never a drinker, but I was a junkie for a good minute.
>be me, 20
>in college
>have a night class on Wednesdays, psych
>sit next to this annoying ass chick who thinks she knows everything
>she starts randomly talking to me
>ughhhh.jpg
>fuck it, I'm always fucked on xannies anyway
>one day out of nowhere she goes:
>"hey anon, you live on campus right? know anywhere to get coke, I'll buy!?"
>fuckyeahyoudumbcunt.png
>we end up doing coke together for a solid 3 months
>one night, my plug couldn't find powder
>but, he has a friend who will fuck both me and my friend for some rock (that's crack, idiots)
>friend instantly says yes to us both getting railed out by some nigger
>crack dealer shows up, with (I shit you not) 1/3 ziplock baggie full of rock
>thatsfuckingexpensive.png
>I somehow acquire that bag for myself, and sit inside the walk-in closet of the bedroom, doors shut, headphones on, while my girl gets fucked by the black guy
>ismokerocknigga.exe!!!
>mfw I smoked the crack while friend is getting pounded by some nigger as payment before she even gets a hit
>mfw I literally somehow pimped this girl out, kinda
>tfw she didn't even give a fuck at the end of it all, since I had saved her a little bit

>>714045109
Drinking.

>>714046153
Nah

>>714039085
I turned down a threesome.

>>714040565
>2012

god damn. I feel like I make shit and I'd net about a grand from an 80 hr week.

>>714045445

>prep myself up "you got this anon, do your cowboy hat proud"
>start walking along the highway
>semi trailer pulls up, huge mother fucker gets out, a veritable giant from mythology
> starts shouting at me, can't really understand what he is saying, but he is angry
> i shall use diplomacy to calm the situation
>peace talks have failed, he punches me in the gut
>proceed to vomit all over this behemoth of rage, like some alcoholic riot hose i Enforce peace
>Guy freaks out, gets in his cab and drives off
>stumble on
>an hour of drunken stumbling and i am in some residential area, about to get beaten up
>"I just want to know how to get home" try and diffuse the situation with drunken humour
"Cunt, This fucking poncho means that i can either shoot your shit in when i sober up, or sneak past your nations borders and mow your fucking lawn"
>grabs my arms and holds them behind my back so his freind can gut punch me
>proceed to recreate the Exorcism of a cowboy
>turned my head around to pacify resistance from his freind
>stumble away
>See a garden gnome
>I am now the loudly proud owner of a garden gnome
>see a street i remember Fuck yeah almost home
>Car pulls up from some place
>throws a bottle at me
>stick my head in the window and vomit everywhere
>guy gets out so i take a swing, miss
>he swings and puts me on the ground
>kicks me
>grab his leg and trip him up, jump on his back and start screaming.
>TO MUCH MOTION
>gravity reasserts itself and i fall to the middle of the road as they flee.
>my fucking gnome is still safe
>crawl the rest of the way home
>Pass out in my bed

few days later

>mother unit "i don't want you going out at night anon, there was an article in the paper about some gang of kids that vandalised the sport centre and an airfield, Sicko's got drunk and vomited all over the town and started fights"
>proceeds to show me a grainy ass picture of a cowboy vomiting on an airfield taken from a security camera

I no longer drink.....

>>714046273
so were you dating her? Or was she just your coke buddy/free ticket for more coke?

>>714042837
I never knew /b/ would bring tears to my eyes. Thank you. I figure, I've thought of it that way but I've needed someone else to say it, to prove I'm not just weak.

Naked "cartwheels" in my neighbor's front lawn at night.

>>714039085
My sister was drinking with me. She passed out. The way she passed out on the couch, I was able to see her panties and up her no-bra shirt. I started fondling her, almost no response. Long story short, she don't remember the end of the night where it was her and I alone in my house and "someone" got her pregnant. Nothing haunts me like that... especially since I also use that memory as fap material, feeling shame after I'm done.

>>714047827
No we weren't dating (I'm straight and had a fwb at the time, and she had a fiancé at the time... they're now married with a baby lul). She was my free drug buddy ticket, but don't get me wrong we definitely were naked with each other on many occasions baha

>>714044349
We've all done that. It's called "hogging."

File: 1480835481065.jpg (33KB, 453x500px) Image search: [Google]

33KB, 453x500px

>>714040237

>>714039085
Got HIV

>>714039259
they're his sisters for christ's sake!

>>714046010

nope

>>714044473
You don't deserve to be a better person.

>>714047184
to play mahvel?

>>714043035
>The wine and the smell of her asshole are making me nauseous
This made me nauseous

>>714039085
Fingered mom

>>714047967
not that anon, but there's nothing wrong with not drinking either
if you don't feel comfortable doing it, don't

File: 1475458541039.gif (335KB, 300x200px) Image search: [Google]

335KB, 300x200px

>>714043035

>>714039085
Took a long satisfying piss in the middle of a busy shopping street while a mate held me up straight

>>714041318
>Totally hetero

The only person you can convince is yourself. But don't feel bad for being spaghetti sexual.
>straight until wet

>>714039085
Sent nudes

>>714047985
Kid: "Hi Uncle Daddy."
Uncle Daddy: Hi Rape Baby.

>>714049120
>spaghetti sexual.
I'M USING THAT TERM! I know people like that.

>>714047985
She remembers, bro.

>>714049333
I sometimes worry she does, but she doesn't treat me any different... not pressing charges... not nailing me with child support. She just quit getting hammered. If she remembers, wouldn't she at least hate me or something?

>Date girl for a month
>Didn't know i had HPV
>Give her HPV

This one really fucking bothers me. I think about it everyday. Good thing is, Whatever strain it is, there are no symptoms and the immune system will likely take care of it.

>>714039085
Saw this on anonib the other day.

>>kek

>>714047985
How many people were around prior?
She probably thinks you're a great brother and that you'd never do anything like that, doubt the thought even entered he head.

>>714049866
It was a house party I threw when I moved in, my first time living in a house without a roommate. Neither of us knew half the people, friends of friends of friends.

I dunno, just fight people and fuck fat chicks.

File: 1471977884980.jpg (6KB, 227x222px) Image search: [Google]

6KB, 227x222px

>>714049667
>This one really fucking bothers me.

>>714050322
I think I drank with you. Are your initials CT?

First time I ever got drunk:
>be at ex's house with some of my friends
>ex's cousin gets us a big bottle of whiskey for like $20
>Fuck yeah, we all start taking shots
>friend1 starts passing out everywhere. You'll see this dude walking into a room then just dropping to the ground mid-step
>he starts throwing up everywhere
>friend2 the chad decides to help him out
>I proceed to sit by my ex and try to convince her for an hour to Fuck me while her 6 year old brother and dad are in the same room and can clearly hear us

Second time I got drunk
>be 15
>be at friends house
>she gets a big bottle of tequila
>everyone dropped out of the drinking after a couple shots and there was still like half the bottle left
>I proceed to chug tequila straight out of the bottle
>she lectures me on limits while I continually walk back and forth in a straight line yelling about how straight my line was
>start making out with friend/house owner
>get tired. Go inside and get ready to pass out on the couch but girl I previously hooked up with is already there
>fuuuuck you
>jump on top of her to lay down
>she's cool with it, but I black out
The rest of the story was told to me and I have no recollection of it
>proceed to throw up all over the girl I was laying on
>friends try to take me to the bathroom to throw up
>friends little sister comes to check up on me
>I'm pissing all over the bathroom
>come to and I'm inside another hot girls car throwing up out the window
>show up at my house. Dad is still awake but he's a bit dense and doesn't notice or care.

>>714050558
No mate haha.

>>714039408
Ahaha you sad piece of shit