Hey /b/, I can't believe I'm actually posting on

>>713900147
I would start by showing us them snap chats. =D Maybe convince the other spouses of a 4 some?

Everybody gets laid= Everybody Wins!

>>713900147
you'll ruin your family, believe me its not worth it

>>713900147
The best cheating is when both have something to lose, just chill and let your heart guide you. People get divorced all the time (or don't)

just fuck and get it over with. just be careful no matter what you do.

>>713900460
Thats actually what we talked about initially, mostly as a joke. What ended being a joke now sucks since we both fell so hard. We've talked about it just to be with each other, but not sure our spouses would go for it.

>>713900524
Yea? I'm afraid you're right. Experience?

>>713900641
Almost did, everything short of it. We're afraid if we keep going we will totally get lost in our emotions and screw everything up.

>>713900147
Whatever you do, don't do anything else with the other girl unless you broke things off with your wife first. Cheating's the wrong way to go.

>>713900147

Thats lust, not love.
we always crave what we cannot have.
Trust me it's not worth it.

>>713900704
Just "nudge them" in the right direction. Haha Too much Tequila, too few clothes!

>>713900147
why does everyone's life sound like a movie come to life. Then i look at my shit and the most exciting thing that happens to me in when my daughter throws pizza rolls at my wife

Homewreckers like you are the reason why so many people can not put trust into their spouse for the simplest of reasons. If you respected your wife in the simplest of forms, you wouldn't be doing this to her. You wouldn't even be having thought about doing something like this.

It may sound like a stretch, but I'm even willing to say that you only treat your wife as a roommate more than a good partner. And yes, being a good partner includes a lot more than just sex.

The only non messy way to go about this is to have her come on to your wife, try and get it swinging, other than that you can just be a man and stop fucking around on your wife.

>>713900793
do you ever regret doing something more than you regret missing the opportunity? the fact you refer to eachother as cocaine means you get a holy fucking rush that you should appreciate, because degenerates like me are so pessimistic I treat love like a joke and would rather fuck thots and eat opiates. If you really get that type of feel, hook up with her for me atleast. you guys can dish it out good for a month, hell even longner and end on good terms withou getting caught if you play it smart. you'll go your whole life wondering if you're living a lie if you dont.

>>713900147
Do what truly makes you happy haha. fuck her brains out or stay with your wife that you fucked in the same position for the past 10 years

>>713900923
this is /b
nothing posted on /b is real

>>713900793
and keep in mind, half of these people cant even find a one-time mate so they're looking at someone risking what they can never have for what they can never understand. do it.

>>713900890
That's what we're trying to do, but its crazy hard.

>>713900907
Yea, I believe you. It's just eating both of us alive.

>>713900908
They're still relatively new to each other. We introduced them, before we wound up in this predicament.

>>713900923
Thats how my lives been for over 10 years. This is a new one.

You have to make a decision.

>>713900923
Everyone prefers to a certain genre of music same as how everyone's life fits more into other genres of stories than others. You can't be an action hero at the same time as being a lover the real world at the same time as being the president at the same time as being a god. Just accept the fact. Quit wishing for some superhero-esque event to happen with you. It's that escapism attitude that you hold that will ruin you if you let it continue to thrive.

>>713900147
Quit your job at dunkin donuts

>>713901087
Yea, thats a stretch. We actually do get along great, and have way more than just sex. Regardless, I'm still human. Thus far we've managed to not go all the way, and we're cooling our jets. What I've done this far is very d-baggish.

>>713901088
Yea, thats what we're thinking, too. Regardless, I can't help but think that either way, even if we do that, it me loving her more than my wife. I'm trading my wife for another woman, even if its acceptable, no?

>>713901465
noods or it didn't habben

>>713901106
I've wondered that too... Thats what Im trying to sort out. Thanks for the thoughts. Everytime we try to give each other space we crash back into each other hard.

>>713901681
Is she black

>>713901140
There is a bit of boredom, if I'm honest.

>>713901250
Thats a good point I hadn't considered.

>>713900147
>To make things more complicated we've all become mutual friends as a couple, and so now she and I find ourselves hanging out at each others houses with our spouses

Start wife swapping anon

>>713901465
Having respect for someone is a lot more than just getting along. You can tolerate someone and get along the exact same without giving them an inch of respect.

And the reason you're in this situation is because you only deem yourself as "just another human". You allow yourself to fall head-first into the pits that you dig yourself, and you think of it okay because you're just some 'insignificant animal beast created for fucking', or whatever. Quit thinking yourself as just another man. Bring it upon yourself to better yourself and learn from your mistakes so then you won't have thoughts or actions similar to what you've already done. You don't want to lose your wife, now do you?

>>713900147
You aren't going to stop when to work with her. Option one is talk about an open relationship with your partners together, good luck with that.

Option two is just cheat and be smart about it. If you only meet up alone occasionally then no one will suspect anything, some after work drinks or a work party here and there.

Option 3 is you both leave your partners (let her go first so she can't back out). If you do this, do it a couple of months apart and then wait a few months before your first public date.

If you ruin your family your wife will raise your kids to hate you.


Ps I'm 24 and have no kids or wife, do have experience with affairs though.

Seriously, I don't know who the fuck made the rule that you can only love one person(in terms of mates) at a time.

Different people can offer different things you may feel a need for, whether it be companionship/sex or just an emotional connection.

Things is that our modern society for the most part has deemed that bad, and unless you're in an open marriage, probably not gonna fly with your Wife.

So you need to decide can you have an affair and be cool with it, and be quiet about it, or are you gonna be racked with guilt and not be able to keep your mouth shut.

If you can't live with it, don't do it. If you can then decide if it's worth it if you get caught.

Also can girl be trusted?

This shit is touchy and if your not willing to pay the price, then do not commence.

Like I said, it's a shame that society has said this is how it is, cause I don't really believe it, but I follow the rules too.

>>713901406
But we make the best holes...

>>713901376
That makes sense. What we can't seem to figure out is how we can still be friends and be in love. We love each other enough that we want to be in each other lives but neither of us want to cause the catastrophic damage it could cause if we cross lines.

>>713901088
>>713901561

honestly, and this the guy from the first tag in this comment, your feelings don't matter. You said you had kids? you can either try and make it work or don't, but whatever you do, the first thing you need to think about is your kids
(this should be the case with most decisions in life)

>>713901726
No, relevance?

>>713901829
To the contrary, I've never had this temptation before, ever! This is completely new. I've never struggled with even a second thought with another woman until this one. I do not, so I suppose at the end of that day that's all there is to it, huh?

>>713900147

go for it OP. you both deserve each other. I hope your wife can find happiness without your bitch ass

>>713901829
this is not op, but how do I think of myself as more than just a hunk of decaying organic matter like most everything else on this planet

I'm telling on you, Sam

>>713901836
You meant to say stop when I work with her I assume? Option two has been a consideration. option three is out. I have no idea what the probability of swapping is. Probably not high, but not impossible.

>>713902081
Then take the first step yourself. There should be no fear when doing this with your wife. She is a person who decided to be with you through the harsh and the rough. She married you because she admitted that she will be willing to help you through your hardships. If you truly want her to understand you a lot more than she already does, then you have to be the first to willingly allow yourself to be read by her. Sure, it may be rough for all of your faults to be shown to your love partner, but that's the entire point of getting married. If you can't take the simple time to do that, then it's more of a matter of your fear of her respect towards you than a lack of your respect towards her.

>>713902359
If it's completely new, then simply put, you've lost your respect for her. That, or you never harbored it in the first place. It was only a matter of time until you found someone a higher ranking than your wife that you would decide to jump ship hope you were right.

And just because it's new doesn't mean that you should allow yourself to fall completely head-first into the vat of empty emotions that you possess. All you wanted to do with the new girl was fuck from the get-go, and it was as simple as that. You're driven by lust, and you will only continue to hold that fault until you come to your senses and admit the fact.

First admit that you are at fault and then come to a realization that a change needs to be made within yourself and the environment around you, then only things will change for your liking.

>>713902034
I absolutely agree. I sincerely love my wife, this girl and I have fallen in love, too. It's just complicated as all hell.

Yes, I can absolutely trust her. We trust each other totally.

>>713902336
Yea, thats what I've always done so far over the years. This is a new addiction.

>>713900704
>Yea? I'm afraid you're right. Experience?
your spouse will start to become passive aggressive with you because you naturally become distant since youre fucking someone else, they will then look for other outlets like prescriptions or drinking, or worse

youll fuck your family up and even when things get better your spouse will feel betrayed and then will cheat on you years later

your kids will see that you dont really love your spouse and they will grow up without knowing what a real loving relationship is and have trust issues in their own relationships

>>713900147
Hey anon, most serious reply you'll get here all night: I'm 37 and a lawyer. I had the same situation as you (great wife, beautiful kids, etc.). I fell into it with a co-worker. So I understand how you feel after the stresses parenthood puts on a marriage...

>>713903248
So I went for it. Sure, for a few months, I was in top of the world when I was with my side bitch. But they used to say in the old west: "I never met a man whom got away with anything..."

>>713902949
Do you mean I need to tell my wife about how I'm feeling for the other girl? It would be a terrible conversation, but I have no doubt that our marriage would survive it.

In re: the second part, it was actually the other way around. It wasn't sexual at all, until after we had already fallen for each other.

I'm not trying to excuse fault, I own it all. I'm just hoping that open discussion helps me to reflrect on what's important.

Thanks!

>>713903381
The point is, reality will soon hit you that you can't love this way. You must choose between your wife and the kids, and the new girl. Sometimes, the new girl is worth it, if yo wife really has turned into a miserable hag and you can't take it anymore. Usually, and from what you've wrote, that's not the case. Don't fucking do it.

>>713903248
You said had... I guess that wen't really bad. Thanks for the reply, I appreciate it from someone who can relate.

Was it always a "side bitch" situation, or did you have a bigger connection with your co-worker?

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>>713903462
The discussion may be required. I don't know your situation enough to determine if it is.

If the thought about cheating on your wife is eating you up from the inside, then yeah. You're going to have to make the call and tell her. It would be absolutely horrible to allow yourself to let a self-destructive habit like that to roam around in your mind.

If you already feel horribly bad about your sins, then learn from your mistake and never make them again. Though, with this, you have to be honest with yourself. If you aren't, then you'll only repeat the mistake another time in another place.

And no problem.

>>713900147
step one: fuck new girl
step two: ??????
step three: profit

>>713903238
maan.. my mom used to smack around my old man.. really fucked me up i think... broke my 10 year old heart to see a man so broken.. if he had stopped being such a fucking pussy and hit her back or divorced her i might have never gotten into so much trouble.. I dont think ive ever been able to feel trust for a woman since then. When a nigga seen his own dad get fucked up by a bitch wit no respect for him, it rilly fucks ur understanding of what a relationship is supposed to be.

>>713903622
No, as stupid as this sounds, I'm here because that's not the case at all. My wife is great, she's pretty awesome, and probably one of the hottest women I know.

I really don't want to fuck it up. I suppose Im just trying to figure out how to have a hands-off relationship with another girl that I, to some extent, love as well.

She and I have talked about it, and she feels the same. She doesn't want to ruin things, we're just not sure how to co-exist as couples/friends, and co-workers that work closely every day.

Thanks for the great advice!

Why must our brains do this to us?

>>713903901
sheet, sorry. ya having folks that "do it for the kids" are obviously not as bad as no parents but it really fucks with the whole fam to grow up not seeing what a real respectful relationship is like bc they grow up thinking thats how it is

>>713904022
>I really don't want to fuck it up
you already did faggot

>>713903767
We've done some stuff, not even oral. So, while it's still cheating, it's probably salvageable with the wife. It would sure make our Christmas party awkward this year.

This>> allow yourself to let a self-destructive habit like that to roam around in your mind.

That's what Im trying to figure out how to deal with.

If I'm honest with myself both she and I don't feel horrible about what we've done. We feel horrible that we don't feel horrible, if that makes sense?

>>713900147
Don't do it, you don't want your kids to hate you.

>>713904365
That's true.

OP- look at what you've got in front of you.
You're happy with your wife and kids. You have a crush. You're crushing on someone. It's the thrill of the hunt. Half of this is mental- you believe she is this "cocaine." You need to believe she is not. This is primal.
Is everything ok with your wife sexually? I'd recommend sprucing things up within your own relationship. I vowed to never give up that chase feeling- I'm always "chasing" my girl. Trying new things. Etc.

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Load the shotgun, point it at your face, push the trigger (not pull because it's backward)

Keep the relationship with your wife. If you're really interested in her, ask you wife if she wants to do a three or even four way and if she agrees ask them. Odds of it working our are slim to none though, so just keep what you already have. Best of luck anon

>>713904342
>If I'm honest with myself both she and I don't feel horrible about what we've done. We feel horrible that we don't feel horrible, if that makes sense?
no you dont. you both wanted to do something and you dont care about the consequences, you both just realized you arent as righteous as you pretend to be and now you are trying to claim that you are in an attempt to save face, but there is no more pretending just lies

OP, I know women are full of shit, as you probably do. Be the bigger person and don't do it. Imagine how it'd feel if the tables were turned. Your kids will hate you, and your family will become fragmented.

Also, obviously, don't ever tell your wife what has gone down. Just stop what you're doing and move on.

>>713904674
Yep, you're right. Even if it is a little bit of love we can still have that as good friends. Ether way, I need to just focus on what I have.

Thanks, anon.

>>713904890
Work on respicing your relationship- fall in love with your wife all over again. Look at her in a new light.

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>>713904342
Don't try to measure your value on the events that others have with their relationships. If you don't feel horrible about the ordeal, then that most likely means that you've already learned your lesson and you're just waiting for the next step to learn to be shown to you. Tell her about it and she'll forgive you just as you say.

>>713904779
And anon, yes, they have gone through the actions without care for consequences, but they've learned about those consequences from their own morality compass. He wouldn't be feeling without consequence if he was creating this thread for actual advise. If he was ignoring the consequence, then he would be making it a lot harder on everyone in this thread.

>>713904703
My wife and I have casually, and extremely preliminary discussed swinging to spice things up. That's a very big step, too. Talking to my co-worker (remember this jokes how it started) she's pretty sure her husband would have interest in my wife. If we're honest, getting her husband on board would be the least difficult.

My wife and I have had some concern that it would change our relationship negatively.

Does anyone have experience in this, and how did it go? Not looking for sex stories, but rather outcomes.

>>713905185
>>713904890

This.

>>713905226
>And anon, yes, they have gone through the actions without care for consequences, but they've learned about those consequences from their own morality compass. He wouldn't be feeling without consequence if he was creating this thread for actual advise. If he was ignoring the consequence, then he would be making it a lot harder on everyone in this thread.
i agree but speaking in that "direction" might not give a clear impression to him or his current situation bc it might be interpreted in a all is aokay kind of way if he were in the latter state of mind you mentioned.

he should tell his wife. or never let this happen again AND never interact with that women or stay friends with them

>>713905185
Any advice on that? Any idea? What do you do to "rekindle" things?

>>713903622
truth. You very, very rarely ever do better than the first wife.

>>713904022
lel enjoy your divorce and ass raping in alimony, I hope the 2 nights a week you see your kids are worth it. No that isn't sarcasm, that's what you have to look forward to if you don't drop the junior high bullshit. Ever wonder what it's like to make 150k a year while paying child support for 2? It's literally making 80k a year, before taxes.

>>713905587
Whatever makes her feel good makes me feel good. Seeing that smile.
Even bringing her flowers spontaneously or writing down why I love her and leaving them on a pillow when I leave and her reading them and talking about it when I see her again. Even if you just took her out to a nice cocktail bar anon. She'll appreciate the gesture and it'll liven everything up. I just avoid trying to be redundant in the relationship. While yes, we all have a schedule, it feels good not to be so mundane.

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>>713905582
>tell his wife
>never let this happen
>never interact with her again or just stay friends

Yeah, I wholeheartedly agree. The thing is, though, you don't need to hammer at the gates when he's already willingly opened them. This anon knows how to take advice, in contrast to the majority of people out there, and you can tell by the way he acts and reads every single comment and responds to most. Just calm down and quit trying so hard.

>>713900147
You obviously never experienced love and mistook lust for it. You married your wife out of lust, deluded yourself that what you felt was profound and you went on with your sad existence while being in denial. Then this happens and despite reality trying to slap you back down on earth you still call that shit you've got going on as love.

You deserve everything that has happened, happens or will happen to you. End this masquerade and reflect on your life.

>>713905984
Following up- I just try to spice things up once a week. It goes a long way.

>>713906200
be knowledgeable but not calloused you say? i dont remember how. good points tho, youre right. are you the psychy anon who makes those threads?

>>713906381
And this post reflect your iq

>>713905587

imagine if your wife was friends with a guy at work.. that it was exactly like you and the girl from work. how would you want your wife to handle that situation, and how would you expect her to treat you? would you rather she was honest & faithful, or cheated and hid it well enough that you never knew? since you've already technically cheated, you don't really have the faithful option left.. so consider how you would want or expect your wife to act if she had similarly fucked up / cheated to the same extent. personally in your situation i would say to just fuck and get it out of your system, but be very careful / discrete and make sure you never get caught. aka.. have your cake and eat it too.. but that's for you to decide, it's your conscience and your life. good luck.

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>>713906487
>psychy anon
No, I'm a guy who spams anime shitposting images and cawfee.jpg/.png images when giving advice in random threads. That psyche guy is someone I don't want to be affiliated with.

Well, at least I'm glad I don't have a following.

>>713906452
Thanks, I really like that approach. Appreciate your insight.

Please, don't do this to your spouses, I know it might be hard, but your wife and kids are there for a reason, your wife loves and cherishes you and so do your kids, my dad cheated on my mom and I cannot forgive him for what he did and because of him my ENTIRE family is ruined and split up, please dude, you need to tell her that it just can't work

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>>713906838
carry on

>>713906879
Anytime.
Everyone makes mistakes, you're not too far down this road to turn back.
Nice to see some good people on /b/, those in this thread and yourself included.

>>713906838
I also appreciate your advice, its welcomed. I know there will be haters, but that's not anything that concerns me. I knew that if one's sincere there are really good people here, too.

I am reduced to three options:

1. Work with the wife and try to get something going between the four of us. Its possible, but would require some work. My concern is if it would make our marriage better or worse in the long run. We've read stories of both.

2. Reduce my relationship with he other girl to friends/co-workers only, and focus my attention on re-fueling my relationship with my wife. This thread has actually helped with perspective, in regards to weight value of each relationship.

3. Cheat on my wife - this could cause serious consequences if we get caught for both of our lives, families, etc. Additionally, I feel like it would only make us fall faster and deeper for each other. I don't think either of us would feel satisfied with a completely platonic relationship given how we feel about each other. Additionally, I'd feel like a complete ass-wipe since my wife is a great woman.

>>713907507
>>713907534

Ok this is me talking again.
Do NOT try and do a four thing. That isn;t what any of you signed up for, that isn't the man she married, that isn't what your kids will respect in the long run.

>>713907507
Thanks, I'd like to think that I'm a good guy as well. I know there are some on here that would say differently, but they don't know me. Most of them are hurting people as well.

I made this thread because I recognize that while very close, it wasn't too late, yet. The part I was struggling with is pulling all of my thoughts, options, etc together.

Thanks again for the help, /b/ro.

>>713907728
Literally "oh just all four of you bang" is such a /b/ answer and half of these people are retarded and live in some delusional sexual fantasy.

>>713907534
Stay with your wife man. Why don't you tell us some stories of you and your wife? How did you meet her?

>>713907728
>>713907812
>>713907763

Anytime man, godspeed.

All I have to say too you OP:

If you do it you will loose your wife, kids, maybe your house. Surely some friends, your family will see you as a stranger your other coworkers will also see you as a stranger.

Is it worth it? No.

Don't think too much op, it will drive you crazy.
Just don't do it.

Hope you'll take the right decision op

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>>713907534
Only the stupidest of idiots will believe that they can get away with a polygamous relationship. They never work out because humans are emotional beings. Jealousy and envy will thrive in a relationship like that. It's a bridge built up on entirely nothing but Popsicle sticks. Never do something like that.

Only option is number 2. You can build a nice friendship with the people around you. You don't need sex to do it. Just have the balls to be a man and don't thrive yourself off your bad and harmful emotions.

Option number three will just drive you into depression. This happens a lot more than you think, and the result is always the same. The man always gets absolutely nothing in the end of it all while the women get absolutely everything.

>>713907913
Worked in the city she lived in, lets say as a public servant. We just hit it off really well. We both pretty much knew we would end up together. We were together for two years before we got married. We were both young. We waited almost 8 years to start having kids. It worked out really well.

I really dont know how I ended up with a 10 (personality and hotness). I'm a pretty average dude.

>>713907534

see:

>>713906733

dubs of truth. if you were in your wifes shoes, how would you want her to treat you under the same circumstances?

>>713908357
Sounds like a good story worth telling dude, how exactly did you meet her? Like, what was the defining moment when you looked at her and thought "Woah"?

>>713908221
The irony of the whole situation is that she and I started our friendship with the expectation that she and I would get her and my wife together as friends, and her husband and I. We were really looking for another couple to just have fun with (not implying sexual - just for the record). We wanted another couple we can do things with. Since she and I have alot in common it seemed logical. We just had too much in common. I think that once we can separate what happened out, and realize it was a crush, we can move on with our original plan.

Is there any harm at this point in both of us pretending it never happened, getting back on track with the mutual friendship?

I recognize we may always be attracted to each other at some level, but knowing that alone should help us mind our Ps and Qs.

Is it wrong to just say nothing of it, stop it, and move on?

I don't really want to fall on my own sword for obvious reasons. Thoughts?

>>713908484
if you were in your wifes shoes, how would you want her to treat you under the same circumstances? >> I wouldn't be mad at her, really, if it were at the point Im at. I'd be a little hurt over some sexual contact, but I'd like to think I would understand that she still loves me, and was just... crushing? As long as she didn't follow through and got help I suppose I'd love her, and maybe even respect her more for being strong.

I'm very much a realist, I recognize that we as humans occasionally cling to unexpected things. Overcoming them is where it's at.

>>713908546
Her family live was very dysfunctional - I took a call at her house for a domestic with her mom and her moms BF. She was strong and overcame that. She took a terrible existence, with all the odds stacked against her, and put everything she is into being better than that. She's a very strong woman!

Stop right now. I was in the exact same spot you were many years ago. I passed so many opportunities to make things right. Every time I was fucking the other girl, I was really fucking my life up. It's been 5 years and I still can't forgive myself for what I did to some one I loved so much. You're really hurting yourself. You feel like you're going forward but that's because your're facing backward. Stop right now. Even if you confess right now it's better than what can still happen. Even if you quit your job it's a better option than what can happen to you.

>>713909207

i think the more important thing to consider, is, if you were in her shoes, how would you expect her to act or treat you to make the situation right? what you would expect of her, in how she should treat you.. you should show her the same respect / consideration as a human being that you expect. maybe it's too late for that? everyone makes mistakes but there's a difference between intentional, willful actions and mistakes.

so i'm suggesting, consider how you expect to be treated, and use that to guide how you should proceed in your choice of what you end up doing to your wife by your actions.

if you have a double standard there, and don't treat her how you'd expect to be treated, then you're being selfish.

but i guess you're already being selfish. you already cheated.. so the question is what are you gonna do now.. go all the way, or reel it back in, if that's even possible?

personally.. i would prob end up trying to fuck the work friend without getting caught, but for you that depends on whether you can deal with that on your conscience and if you really think you can get away with it.

i missed opportunities with girls to be faithful to an ex, and regretted it later when we broke up.. but you're married so.. good luck.

>>713908898
>>713908038

This is me again.
I've messed up in the past, but I feel so long as it isn't a consistent threat to your relationship and you didn't have sex, it's fine (or as fine as it kind be). Lesson learned. Don't tell your wife. She'll be paranoid about you even going to work. It may bother you some, but just take this on your conscious so your wife does not have you being at your job being over her head.

The ends justify the means here, as shitty as that is to say. Just take whatever mental burden you have. If you tell your wife, that burden just goes to her. You may also need to communicate your plan to your coworker and get on the same page. If she tells her husband, the husband could contact your wife.
Sorry, I always think in worst case scenarios.

>>713909467
Think about that man, and think about all the good times and the many, many more good times to come. After all, some of us would kill to be in your shoes right now. A good home, a good wife, a family, some people spend their whole lives looking for something like that and never, ever find it. Don't give up on something great for years for something that could be amazing for 5 minutes.

>>713909516
We've stopped. I've sent the girl from work this link. She's been reading it as well. We both agree - this has been a very helpful thread.

We needed help disconnecting ourselves from the situation, if that makes sense?

Neither she or I were looking for the "green light", to the contrary we we're looking for those who've made the same mistake to... leverage us from it.

We both feel like we can probably be much closer friends (only) now, recognizing what it is, what it is, and what it will need to be in the future.

Unloyal prick.

>>713909834
>>713910075

Sorry I keep replying to my own posts, I'm just trying to maintain identity.
I'm glad both of you are reading this and learning. I think this will end up just fine.

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>>713908898
Oh, she suggested that you get along with a polygamous relationship? She's a heathen who only knows about lust and cheating on her husband, then. If you want to keep her as a friend, just know that you're going to have to tell her that you've noticed that you've done wrong and you won't accept her for what she is now. Convince her from her ways, if you can, but I highly doubt she'll listen.

And yes, people can act innocent at first and then try to lure you in with temptation once you've allowed yourself to be close with them. Something tells me that her motivation all along was to find a way to get her husband to willingly cuck himself. I highly doubt she'll listen because I'm pretty sure she's thought about this for way longer than you think, and I'm almost entirely sure that she'll only use you as a stepping stone to get what she wants.

You can try backtracking on what you've already done with her, but you have to realize that she may not want to. She may only want to have sex with you at this point, and you'll have to resist her. If you can't convince her, then you'll just have to let her go.

It may be harsh to your wife a little by not telling her a single thing, but you must absolutely be one hundred percent certain that you won't do it again in your future. If you have even the slightest doubt that you may fall to temptation again, then tell her. That's the safest route possible.

>>713909834
OP said:
>If I'm honest with myself both she and I don't feel horrible about what we've done. We feel horrible that we don't feel horrible, if that makes sense?
So, I'm entirely certain that she won't be riddled with doubt and mistrust when she goes about her day. From the sound of it, OP makes her out to be someone who highly trusts him.

>the husband could contact your wife.
So, wouldn't it be better for him to tell the wife first? It's always worse to hear bad news from a different news source first than from the person who committed the crime.

>>713909754

personally.. i would prob end up trying to fuck the work friend without getting caught, but for you that depends on whether you can deal with that on your conscience and if you really think you can get away with it. >> I can't, won't.

What's happened so far has been selfish already.

>>713910356
I agree, he knows his wife best. Like I said, I think in worst case... I'm a bit paranoid, haha.
And yes, if the woman does not agree to that, then he should tell out of risk that her husband communicates with his wife.

>>713910468
>>713910356

if you and the friend from work, try to go on with being friends as couples.. there's a good chance what happened with you and the friend may come out, or that there will be future mistakes / temptations...

if you really want to move on and change the path your on, you and your work friend would / will probably have to distance yourself from each other and keep it a strictly professional, work relationship. just my two cents.

consider how doing that makes you feel... that could be illuminating.

>>713909834
Yea, I feel this obligation to tell her, but to the same extent she deserves to not be hurt, too. And, out of selfishness I don't want to tell her either. I'll just leave it.

>>713909879
Agreed, thanks for the perspective.

>>713910341
Yea, we're on the same page. While this is more or less from my perspective we feel the same about it all, so it applies equally.

>>713910356
No, that wasn't really her suggestion alone. We planned to all become mutual friend/couples. As she and I got closer we started joking about it together, which opened the door for us to invite in other temptation.

She and I feel identical about the scenario. We both made a mistake (def not her over me), and we're both very appreciative of the advice we've received.

>>713911034
>>713909834
>>713910341

Awesome.
Well, best of luck anon. It'll be fine, both of you.
Live and learn.

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>>713911268
Glad I could help.

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>>713900147
Listen OP, very simple. I have a similar situation. I love my wife but I can't stop fucking my secretary with her ridiculously hot body. Oh and I'm addicted to heroin so not only is she my drug I also have an ACTUAL drug addiction. I'm 31...in NYC. So listen, just understand that you're a MAN and you're HARDWIRED to fuck as many women as possible to spread your genes. It's biology. Also, you only live once and any of us can drop dead at any minute. A really good way to judge of a side chick or an affair is a good look is to ask yourself, if I died tomorrow would I regret not fucking this woman? If the answer is yes, it's likely worth the lies trouble and money. Oh and this secretary is far older than my wife too. Their both beautiful attractive women with great bodies, but like I said, biology and no regrets. Grab your balls and bust that nut OP. Bust it over and over and over again.

Pic related: my secretary in one of my work shirts.

>>713911034
No problem man. And for the record, I'm one of those guys who'd kill to be in your shoes, hopefully I'm as lucky as you when I'm 33.

>>713910075
Good man. There is no greater pain then hurting the ones you really love. If it ever have doubts, ask your wife fore some time out but don't go fucking anyone else meanwhile. that will help you asses how important she is in your life.

Being honest is self respect for your own happyness, trully. Even if honesty brings hurt in the short term, give the other person a chance to do their part right with the truth. If she's the one, she'll surprise you.

care for your well being and happyness will follow, that is the only task worth doing in this life.

>>713911674
No nudes of the secretary?

>>713911419
Thanks again everyone. As she and I read this here's out mutual concurrence, for anyone whose helped (you deserve to know with all the time you've spent on us):

1. We're done with any physical sexual touching.
2. We're both going to spend time working on our own marriages to keep the "fresh". If anyhting we may share ideas on how to do that.
3. She still has exteme interest in being a good friend of my wife - again my wifes awesome (and my friend) - who wouldn't want to be their respective friends?
4. We're going to just bury what happened and neither tell our spouses - We recognize it's not fair to them, but neither is hurting them. We will never do it again.
5. We both agree that now that we can realize it for what it is that we can be better friends, without benefits.

Much appreciated... I never thought this could actually happen on 4chan, but both of us are smart enough to know that we couldn't ask for advice from anyone we actually know, ever.

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>>713911674
Oh and OP, ALWAYS make sure the side bitch knows you love your wife and that it's fun between grown adults only. Very important. Side chick must know about wife and you must establish contact rules such as method of contact and approved times.

>>713911869
I have some....

>>713911728
Well, with that personality I can't help but imagine you eventually will. How old are you, if I may?

>>713911674
You got a lot of pain comming your way, friend. If you really love your wife and are somewhat lucky you'll learn your lesson. It's just up to you to decide if you learn it the easy way or the hard way.

The good thing about learning things the hard way is, you never ever forget.

>>713912097
You're on /b/ son, share 'em.

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>>713911869
This post is her legs
>>713912056
Here's one to honor your 69 but I'd rather not go anymore. I don't like sharing lol. If /b/ros really want roll dubs for what you want.

>>713912187
25 currently. Well thanks man, I hold out hope.

>>713912056
Thanks anon, but that's not my style... I won't need such rules. I learned from my mistake and she and I won' make it again.

She and I have learned that we can truly love each other as great friends (I dare say best because I want to continue to reserve that for my wife).

>>713912268
Please keep your negative vibes back anon. I understand the risks and have very calculated ways to mitigate them but I don't need bad juju on top of my preexisiting bag judgement

>>713912029

why keep a friendship going outside of work, when that will only be prolonging the temptation and opportunity to mess up again? consider what is driving you both to keep a friendship outside of work open as a possibility.. when it would definitely be safer for both of your marriages to keep it strictly work / professional, and let the friendship outside of work thing fade out...

>>713912029
Happy to be of service. It's true that 4chan is a shit hole but god damn we're honest. Good luck.

>>713912461
Best of luck to you OP I only wish a fellow /b/to the best no matter what his choices are unlike SOME judgemental white knights up in here.

>>713912461

see

>>713912598

>>713912598
I know what you mean - the reality is we've come to realize how much we have in common and dont want to lose our friendship. I also know that her husband and I have a lot in common, too. She and my wife have a lot in common. As we continue to become better friends respectively I have no doubt the temptation will continue to fade.

We're both respectable, professional, and generally loyal people. I know we made a mistake, but won't do it again.

>>713912295
See my trips anon.

>>713912333
>>713913111
Witnessed.

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>>713913111
Two trips in one thread all for me?? I am just the luckiest cheating bastard evar !!!!!!111!!!!!oneoneone

>>713912970

i understand where you are coming from, but with all due respect, you're not a very good friend to her husband if you're fooling around with is wife, and she's not a very good friend to your wife, if she's fooling around with you.. not exactly a stellar beginning to healthy friendship(s). best of luck though anon.

>>713913279
We recognize that - but to be fair we're already introduced. We made a mistake, a big one (could have been way bigger). But at the same time both of our spouses are enjoying the mutual friendship. It's not fair to them, and never will be. We either tear apart our mutual friendship, which would undoubtedly require explanation. My wife would always wonder why she lost a friend, for no explainable reason. Im sure her husband would be confused, too.

We can't win, so we're just trying to make the second best of it.

If we thought for a second that we would make the same mistake again we would break it off.

>>713912559
They're not negative vives, it's just how life works. What goes around comes around one way or another. And she's not really your friend nor does she really like you. She's only into how you make her feel.

>>713900147
>We have to fuck because we work together

No. You both are ungrateful whores. Neither of you give a shit about your spouse's or kids. You're an adult, you said? Sound like a high school fuckboi to me.

Wah wah wah I can't control myself or my emotions....classic sign of feminine bitch ways.

>>713913279
>>713912970

once certain boundaries are crossed, it's not easy to re-establish them. when there's a strong mutual attraction, and continued time spent together, it's unlikely to decrease when you've never fully explored that forbidden fruit. i suspect you and your friend are both well aware of this, and for whatever reason(s) .. just can't let go of having that possibility remain open.. doesn't bode well imo.

>>713900147
kill her

>>713913709
I never said she was. I said she is my secretary and we have wildly explosive passionate sex. I mean we're very friendly and she's very nice to me but I'm sure that she's only Into me for the gud feeewwwwwsss

>>713913723
Calm the fuck down you autist.

>>713913701

yeah, breaking off things suddenly could seem suspicious, but friends drift apart all the time. but you're more familiar with your situation that we are, good luck hope it works out for the best. hopefully you're not rationalizing to placate subconscious desires..

>>713914019
Thanks again! She and I are both out, thanks again for the help.

>>713913974
Then consider her a type of enemy. Some one who helps you cut down your chances of being happy. When you're up to no good you surround yourself with people who are up to no good. Every foot you dig your self into you'll have to drag your self out. The only exception to this if you stay down there. You know that right?

>>713901812
This is your best option right here...

>>713900907
this

>>713915090
I know that as long as I play my cards right and stick to my Ps and Qs that I'm going to be just fine. If she knows I'm married and has no beef and no reason to ever tell my wife, why is there a problem. I get what I need she gets what she wants or needs and my wife doesn't have to know so she'll never be hurt, and I'm quite good to the both of them. Regardless of how you may think of me I'm actually a fairly reasonable gentleman who is a loving husband, and boyfriend, a hard worker and provider, among many other things.

>>713916692
Well, OP here. I can't really judge you since I technically cheated on my wife, too. For me though, I just can't keep feeling like Im betraying my wifes confidence over and over.

I respect and love her too much.

>>713912333
dubs for more