Escape the House - Game Thread ---- Rules: 1. Dubs decides

>>713811226
fake a seizure while singing my national anthem

>>713811226
try to break loose of the straps

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hoi!

Escape the House - Game Thread

You play dead after singing your national anthem, it passes time. Time you could have used to hatch a plan on getting away, but no... this is fine. How long will you do this?

>>713811538
>>713811538
kiss my ass goodbye for goodluck and get out of the straps

Escape the House - Game Thread

You stop playing Opossum long enough to wiggle out of the table bindings. Your kidnapper might have wanted you to do this...

Now free you can get a good look around this place:
The water seems deep enough to swim in but you also see various furniture lining the path to the door upstairs.

>>713811538
check da straps

>>713811761
do you know what dubs are

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>>713811820
shhhhh

Kiss my ass good buy!

Shit my pants

>>713811226
post nudes

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I braid myself a lasso out of back hair and lasso me up a wifu

>>713812147
roll for this

WOW.

Stack furniture against the wall and get out through the window.

Escape the House - Game Thread

You.. you start braiding your back hair and attempt to "lasso you up a wifu" unfortunately you miss and only retrieve a half bottle of laundry soap... close enough right?

>>713812423
coat myself in laundry soap.. everywhere

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Spend alone time with tide wifu.

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Take wifu out on romantic dinner date.

>>713812518
what will tide think of next? brilliant motherfuckers. A wife that comes with laundry detergent pre installed

>>713812495
Roll

>>713812495
Roll for this

>>713812518
Rolling

Check what's in the water?

Commit suicide

Cross dress my problems away.

>>713813220
Roll

>>713813220
pray the gay away

hide under the table and bite their dick off when they come back

Escape the House - Game Thread

You hide under the table until you hear footsteps from above, then an opening of the door at the top of the basement of which you are hiding.

"Where did they go?" Your kidnapper asks aloud as he walks down the stairs shutting the door behind him.

You bite his wiener off and now he is culled over in the pool of water. The water quickly being saturated in dick blood.

Hes screaming and he dropped something heavy into the water.

Go savage, wear his skin as my own and walk out of the basement.

>>713813617
start shouting "It's just a prank, bro!" while curb stomping him

>>713813735
roll and add: stomping him in the groin

Pick up the dick and beat him to death with it. FINISH HIM

>>713813617
search him for keys? o_o jeezus guys

>>713813880
roll

take the item in the water and put it in my butt while making eye contact to assert dominance.

>>713814021
k.. keys?

Make a key out of poop, replace it with his key and make off with the real key.

>>713813735
roll

kill myself

EAT MY OWN DICK

>>713813617
OP is shit at updating this shit.

Currently we have a waifu from first dubs, but you didn't mention that.

Someone less shit take over.

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>>713814248
sit yo ass down boi

>>713814248
tide wifu.

Wifu to rescue!

>>713814325
rollin

Tide wifu grows a body and cleans my laundry so i look nice when i BEAT THE CRAP OUT OF THIS FAGGRT

TIDE WIFU KILLS A MAN WITH THIS THUMB

jump into water to grab the heavy object that turned out to be a needler gun from halo.

suicide, game over

Sew kidnappers dick back on and securely tie self to table.

>>713814523
rawl

>>713814839
this kek

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Wifu saves me with maximum strength whitening power!

>>713814925
Roll Roll Roll!!!!

>>713814925
Tide Wifu is best wifu!

>>713814925
tide to the rescue

Wifu eats MY dick and kills assassin with it!

Use Tide wifu to kill kidnapper

>>713815091
but how are we supposed to bang princess tide wifu after we rescue her from the dungeons of the dickless koopa?

Escape the House - Game Thread

You bludgeon your attacker to death with your empty bottle of tide whom you have named Yide Wifu. She tells you just before her last soapy breath "I do it for you my love! Your laundry is clean up stairs and neatly folded too!"

You defeat your kidnapper and loot an ass load of keys, really there are just so many of them. Who was this guy? A janitor?

You are now free to move around the basement.

Now what?

Kill self

OP fat fungers

>>713811226
Fuck the captor

Escape the House - Game Thread

You fuck your captor while ranting about OP's fat fingers. Your wifu in heaven is filled with bliss that you have moved on and found happiness with the corpse of your captor.

Still there are pressing matters at hand! Like escaping!

Take captor with me to revive latter, and rape.

>>713815617
Use captor's bloody cummy corpse as a battering ram on the first door I find

>>713815676
roll

>>713815617
Check my surroundings

>>713815617
I'ts the captor a nigger?

Tie the keys to eachother with janitors hair. Put one end of the chain of keys in the water and jam the other end into an electrical socket

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Escape the House - Game Thread

You take the bloody, cummy corpse up the stairs and battering ram your way into the next floor.

You are greeted with the smell of fresh laundry and apple pie.

You are in a long narrow hallway linned with windows. Its night out, and to your right is a bedroom with a neatly folded and seemingly pressed suit on a bed. Your waifu didn't lie. She was a good waifu who was sacrificed honorably.

Wear the suit and jump out the window!


Game over I win!

Battering ram the windows!

revive waifu

>>713816010
"Going through the window isn't the end. It just doesn't suit this story" you say out loud before promising youself that from now on, every action in your life ends with a terrible pun.

>>713816163
roll

Escape the House - Game Thread

You shout into the hallway "Going through the window isn't the end. It just doesn't suit this story" From now on everything you do, must end in a pun.

Rule update: 4. Add a pun at the end of your action.

You shout this as all the windows open and a cold chill wafts into the hall. You feel like you have made a terrible mistake.

I put on the suit, yell "gotta blast" rip my pants and nope the fuck outta the window because i didn't sign up for this spoopy ghost rape shit.

Tell to my self: "I'm gonna make like a tree and leaf" while i search a way to get out.

I piss myself and yell a loud "My wifu still misses me, but her aim is getting better!"

I close the window "Waste not want not!"

I get cold and go to close one of the windows but I'm blown backwards by the force of explosive flack as it begins detonating against the walls outside the kidnappers house.

"This house is just BURSTING with surprises", I think to myself.

I kick out the front door and yell "I CANT STAND THE ODOOR ANY MORE!!1!!"

Rick and Morty save my ass using the teleporter gun. "Get riggity riggity rekt son!"

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I put on the suit and pick up the corpse for one last ram through the wall
"I like my corpses shaken, not stirred. OHH YEAAH!"

i spot a pencil and paper and try to write a message for help to throw out the window in hopes of being rescued.

but the pencil has no tip. ITS POINTLESS so i give up.

>>713816799
That's not a pun.

>>713816799
But then you wake up from a drug induced sleep in the same basement as in your dream. Your captor leaves the house.

"That deja fooled me"

>>713816843
roll

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Escape the House - Game Thread

You are suddenly sucked into a vortex and meet the cast of Rick and Morty Tv Show. The short one freaks out because you're covered in cum, blood, and tide wifu juice but thats ok, youre free now. You run into the warm summer air yelling "it's time to get riggity riggity rekt son!" and win the game.

OP Plz again

I run back to the kidnappers floating corpse and whisper in his ear, "Vaginal sex can make your day, but anal sex can make your HOLE WEAK", and begin preforming 3 uninterrupted hours of 5 star major league necrophilia butt sex on his dickless waterlogged dead body.

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>>713817209
The. End.

Sequel when?

butt Kuwait, hairs molar

2044

>>713817033
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hWToW9ZNOpo