ITT everyone post a super power, then we all collectively reply

The ability to see into the future

>>713795608
you would go 20% more blind every time you use the power

>>713795608
but youre also a nigger

>>713795608
You can only see one second into the future and it takes one second until you return to real time

>>713795496
You become a modern day cursader

Become the perfect human being. Perfect personality so everyone wants to be around you, perfect physical traits, perfect athletic abilty, perfect intelligence

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the power to get dubs instantly

check em

>>713796317
There are no crusades to join

>>713796517
But your also gay

>>713796517
but after a year the effects reverse

>>713796529
Can never get anything other than dubs. No trips, no singles, nothing

>>713796529
But you have to get singles first

>>713796529
but you never hit them because someone else, like me, steals it.

>>713795496
The ability to rustle anyone's jimmies on command

The power to look like anyone

>>713796744
Holy shit

>>713796744
IT'S FUCKING REAL

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TkBMAHUkibY

>>713796798
but only when no one is watching you

>>713796798
everytime you shapeshifter into someone else you progress a stage in cancer

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>>713796744
>pic related

>>713796757
but you get just as mad when it happens

>>713796798
But your skin peels off immediately revealing your normal self

>>713796744
seriously

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>>713796744

>>713796798
But you have no control over who that person is.

>>713797386
You could still rob people like that. not useless

everything you say is right, true, and correct

Manipulating physical and conceptual boundaries

I can teleport anywhere on the planet, only thing I need is to visualize where I want to go.

The power to absorb and remove the powers of all other entities from any distance or location

>>713796798
so long as anyone happens to be jewish and black

>>713797674
The power to remove the visual cortex of others with my mind.

>>713797674
but every time you reappear your entire body is inside-out

>>713797765
but your lungs collapse every ten minutes

>>713797635
But everything you say infuriates people to the point of lynching your honest ass.

>>713797674
you also happen to be Blind Willie McTell

>>713797952
Except your penis, which is just inside your bum

>>713797765
But your body can't handle all the power and you just explode.

>>713798029
"everyone is content with what i have to say"

The ability to always be erect

Telekinesis, able to levitate myself and make myself fly as well move object with my mind

>>713795496
One For All

The power of flight

>>713798285
But if anything touches your erect penis then it will fall off

>>713798164
but you smell so godawful that nobody will come within shouting distance of you.

>>713798367
Slowly destroys your brain when you use it.

>>713798285
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Priapism

>>713798485
The power to become OP


the condition that would make it useless: be straight and have a social life

>>713796744
Checked

>>713798422
And yet you have agoraphobia and can't psychologically leave your house.

>>713797635
But the only phrase you can speak is "I will lose my power"

>>713795496
The power to kill myself

>>713798285
But the blood accumulates until your dick explodes

My power would be not existing

>>713798817
But you are reborn as a lower life form each time

>>713798367
Equivalent to 20% of your regular carry weight.

Super Strength

>>713798995
You experience muscle atrophy at an extremely accelerated rate.

>>713798995
but the only muscle able to wield it is your sphincter

imagine the choke holds

the ability to freeze time and freely roam around

>>713799402
But you have no idea how to unfreeze time

>>713799402
But everything returns to normal.once you unfreeze time and you can't remember anything you did during that time

>>713799402
You're not a gay vampire

Time control

the ability to suck dicks

>>713799956
Depends on what kind of time control. If you could rewind time, couldn't you rewind time so far you would go back to the start of time. undoing your own existence.

>>713795608
you only ever see outcomes that will NOT happen

Every time you laugh, your life extends by 1 year.

I don't get *that* wet when it rains

>>713796517
But you're autistic and paralyzed waist down

being able to change your body on a molecular structure at an instant (ie Strength, or armoredskin)

>>713796517
you're forced to be president for 8 years starting in 2017

>>713797635
you're forced to be president for 8 years, starting in 2017

>>713798285
you're forced to be president for 8 years, starting in 2017

>>713798817
but none of the courage

>>713800963
except the mutation gives you instant cancer, which your power doesnt work against

>>713800205
but you mouth is the size of an small surgical tube

the power to do a have when you for any time at all

>>713800205
but you don't have the ability to stop

>>713801478
but always end up being a "i have already"

>>713796517
It would jelousy and eventually end up in a Caesar situation where your closest allies betray you

The power to die on command.

>>713801664
but with and time delay that is random

>>713801664
but you can only do it once

>>713801664
what does cyanide not work well enough for you?

>>713801844
hard to come by

a superpower?
Russia

>>713802180
Trump

>>713802247
Yeah because if anyone's tough on Russia's bullshit it's Trump, right?

>>713802247
you aren't supposed to make him stronger

>>713802180
is really Russia a superpower? think of it wich country has been making guns for the whole world, quietly entered all out hearts and "heling" out from the shadows, it used to be a country full of rapists,looters and violence and alot of sodomy, but it suddenly change and have had peace for almost 200 years im not naming it but i think that is a country to be afraid of

>>713800740
only YLYL threads make you laugh

>>713802710
hitler's early invasions were done with limited resources made to look more expansive than they were. If you can be really scary you can punch above your weight. But i guess team america world police didn't exist back then.

>>713802845
Are you TRYING to force me to stay on /b/? xD

the ability to manipulate probability

>>713805689
But the probability of it working are very low.

>>713797674
but when you arrive you're 30 feet above where you would land and will likely injure your legs every time

>>713797765
but it gives the powers to people that hate you

>>713798367
but you have to act out the movements that you would normally have to perform anyway. if you move a book, you have to walk in place the number of steps to the book and mime out picking it up and bringing it back.

>>713798422
but you can only fly backwards and no higher than 1 inch off the ground

>>713799402
but you age 1 year for every minute you spend in frozen time

>>713800740
but you suffer from crippling depression

>>713800793
but your shoes always get soaked

>>713800963
but you have to manually move/change each molecule individually

>>713806240
Then i could lower the probability of me having any negative effects down to 0%

>>713801664
but only when somebody who loves you is watching

The ability to make cooked salmon last longer in the fridge.

>>713796798
But in the act of changing u also gain their personality and memories and forget u have the power to look like anyone

>>713805689
but you can only shift it in unfavorable directions and gambling always drops to zero.

>>713807240
by your electricity goes out every time you use your power

>>713807218
Doing so would create a paradox and nullify your power completely

>>713807937
Same guy

A Null Feild. The ability to project a barrier or area of effect where other powers cannot be used

>>713808105
but it only lasts for half a second

turning op straight

>>713807240
But for every extra hour it's in the fridge you either gain or lose one testicle with 50% chance of either happening.

>>713808527
but only in pony threads

Every woman finds me attractive

>>713808741
Might end up with normal testicles just by chance

Every time I sneeze there's a 50% chance I'll die of a heart attack

>>713808822
ugly bitches

The power to pull and use objects from TVs, magazines, photos or computers

>>713808822
You're a faggot

>>713809277
only works when horny

>>713797645
but everything looks like an orange to you

>>713798915
except in the second dimension

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>>713797034
dead

>>713809090
the other 50% you spend 3 minutes in literal hell