Anti can we get a super power thread? Anons post a super-power

>>713679261

To open up, I'd chose flying.

the power to end my suffering
>no downsides

The ability time travel but only at the normal speed of time.

>>713679420
You can't die

>>713679304

>you don't fly like superman, but rather must flap your arms as hard as you can.

>>713679420

>your anus leaks heavily every time you're in the presence of a woman

Slightly stronger than the average man

>>713679479

>you move 2% slower than everyone else

>>713679611
>>713679590

>the power to end my suffering

>>713679622

>the average man is now 78 years old

>>713679420
You get just that, in exchange for a suffering for greater or equal value with another anons.

I don't want to shoot porn images right out of my hands like shitting explosive diarrhea from my palms.

>>713679261
Lazer vision, but only while sneezing.

>>713679809

>every time your suffering ends, something new arrives to bring it back

>>713679590
I have to add, you just granted me immortality but I have the power to end myself any time I choose.

>no downsides

>>713679859

>you don't have a nose

>>713679420
You can only pass it on to your loved ones

>>713680013

>it's opposite day

>>713679930
The suffering is my existence

>>713679859
>Your nose disappears. You now look like Voldemort.

>Become invisible and visible on command.

>>713680034

Oh that's a good one.

Kudos d00d

>>713679856
don't? I mean do!*

>>713680106

>can only do it when no one is around

>>713680034
Fair play.

>>713680148

>it's always illegal materials, leading to your eventual arrest

>>713680106
Blind when invisible.

>>713680304
At least I have something to exchange with the prisoners. Not so bad. And solitary confinement needs to be something violent in nature or a matter of national security, so I'm solid.

The power to cause 5 minute long super intense crippling orgasms in everyone arround me in a 100 meter spherical radius.

>>713680575
Targets children too. You get arrested and put in permanent isolation on a tiny island with nobody around but cameras.

>>713680096
At any time someone can summon you back from the void of non existance using a meeseeks box type thing.

The ability to spawn humans into a giant maze of deathtraps and broadcast it live on T.V. on every station. Like that one Ratchet and Clank game.

>games don't make people violent

Super speed that doesn't negatively impact my physiology

>>713680744
The final boss for everyone you spawn in there is you.

>>713680698
Sounds fancy, I'm okay with this as long as I retain my powers

>>713680575
>>713680575
The orgasms kill people you are sexually attracted to.

The (controlled) power to get someone to like/fall in love with me.

>>713680946
You cause massive collateral damage from sonic booms every time you use it. Also it destroys all your clothing every time you use it

The power to give people orgasms by staring hard at them.

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genius intellect far beyond that of regular human
Downside is lacking ability to move

>>713681122
They also fall in love with people you hate the most.

>>713681095
>implying he's sexually attracted to living things

>>713681147
I can live with that

>>713680106

>Become invisible and visible on command.
It's not your command

To take a shit without having to wipe

>>713681229
If he's sexually attracted to a fictional character they get erased from the internet

>>713681148
You are blind and have no idea why people are moaning and screaming all the time.

>>713681148
Be crosseyed

>>713681314
Your ass bleeds after you shit requiring you to wipe the blood instead of your shit

>>713681314
Every shit you have takes 2 hours to pass and is extremely painful

>>713681314
You are permanently permeated by shitstink.

the ability to spawn any chemical/chemical compound known to man, including synthetic drugs and gold

I'd like to eat spicy food without taking massive shits afterwards. That'd be super.

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When I play hockey, any shot I take scores a goal

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>>713681199
You fully comprehend the true nature of the universe and, in an attempt to free yourself from your newfound eternal mental pain, you an hero all over yourself.

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>>713681467
I've never had a problem with this.

>>713681478
In the wrong net

>>713681401
For you.

The ability to have Chris Chan shit and cum all over you, on command.

The power to set up savepoints in my life that I can start up again if I die or fuck up something.

>>713681433
You can only spawn things if you turn a person into that item. The item is in their exact form and it is excruciatingly painful for them and takes 5 hours to complete the process and you have to be in contact with them the entire time.

>>713681467
but the food is tasteless

>>713681478
When you're not playing hockey, any shot you take score a hole right in your liver.

>>713681433
They spawn in your stomach and you have to shit them out

>>713681467
You're now a Mexican.

>>713681581
the downside is it's chris chan

The power to shoot guac out of my hands with the pressure of a firehose

>>713681627
Check out the story "Suicide Engine".

That is your curse.

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>>713679261
>>The ability to walk through walls.
>>you actually walk through them, causing massive damage to the wall


So you are Juggernaut then? Faggot.

>>713681627
You have to murder someone to set up a save point.

>>713681720
FUCKING KEK

>>713679420
You can only use it when verbally given permission from someone who is clinically brain dead.

>>713681433
Your create way too much stuff, so your shenanigans devalue the substances to the point where the world's economy collapses. Congratulations, you caused the fall of society.

>>713681647
Ooooh thats a damn good one. Top marks anon!

>>713681712
Each ounce costs you $1

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>>713681712
you become ¡yeb! and suffer an embarrassing defeat in the run for president

>>713681401
Sounds like my life.

>>713680374
Nice lmao

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A "Get out of anything I damn well please." card that even works on whatever the downside is nomatter what and of sentence period. exclamation point. hashtag fuck you

>win

the power to physically transform into any solid liquid or gas

>>713681641
Well hey, at least I'd be a serial killer with a purpose

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>>713681507
>>713681648

damn. Solid choices

>>713681985
you're really stinky tho

the ability to perform mundane tasks an average person can perform.

The ability to command any woman at any time to stop anything they are doing and have sex with me and not be charged with any crime or offend anyone.

>>713681989
You can never transform back to normal

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>>713682125

>>713681219
You evil fuck.

>>713682144
you will always be average at everything you do

>>713682144
Any time you don't spend doing the mundane tasks is excruciating pain and suffering

>>713682004
Yeah. I can see that. Hell you could only use it to go full dexter on all the criminals.

>>713681390
Lmao.

>>713682148
but you can never reach climax

>>713682148
but you only receive sex in the form of unenthusiastic handys

>>713682148
each one give you a new and every more debilitating STD. The "Women" are also all MtF

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>>713681989
Your solid form is completely unable to move.

Your liquid form will kill you if it separates into two parts.

Your gas form is autistic as cubed cheese.

>>713682148
if that woman is in a relationship the dude beats the shit out of you after you have sex with her and he also cant be charged with any crime associated

>>713681390
Got heeem!

there are some i would like to have but not at the same time:

Telekinesis by contact: the power of moving objects with my mind while it's in contact with another object that is in contact with me

Void generation: repelling matter and energy at will around me or from a specific place

energy manipulation.

then there is this power to create temporary structures and machines with my mind that can only be seen by me or people with a similar power. Like a green lantern but without needing the ring, also it will seem like normal telekinesis to the common folk.

Power to make girls diarrhea uncontrollably when cumming

The ability to alter the size and shape of my dick any time i want and still be able to return it to exactly how it was before i altered it

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My special power is everyone just assumes I'm allowed to be doing whatever I'm doing.

Breaking into places, taking shit that's not mine, grabbing pussy in the locker room... The female locker room...

>>713682519
Can no longer achieve an orgasm

The ability to have a conversation with someone i know for less than 2 weeks. It would be cool to not have your face and neck turn red and speak in a soft volume without just anwsering with 2 words very loudly so everyone turns around to look at you. Just be more like shepard from mass effect.

>>713682490
you physically can not make them cum

>>713682544
Shit that's a good one.

>>713682519
you have to eat their shit or you'll die in 20 minutes

>>713682490
they're faking and actually just shitting themselves uncontrollably

>>713682292
[] not rekt
[x] rekt

>>713682490
They only come to you for relief from their endless torrent of fecal spooge.

>>713682612
so everything's still normal? alright then

>>713679261

>The ability to walk through walls.
>you fall through the floor into the earth's core

The power to fully gender swap at any time and make myself sexually attractive to anyone and everyone when i do.

>>713682544
you are a ghost/partially phased into a different dimension while this power is active and cannot interact with or affect anything.

The power to read minds.

>>713682705
you must accept sexual advances from ALL individuals, old, fat, and ugly

>>713679261
the power to make anyone trip and fall at will.

>>713682732
you can only read the minds of potato bugs

>>713682732
You are only able to read their most disturbing and disgusting thoughts. And it gives you a crippling 24 hour migrane every time.

>>713682717
I just turn on my strobe option and I do what I want and cause seizures. Double win.

>>713682732
... of retards

>>713682732
you can't read your own mind and you are forced to make a monologue every time you need to think something

>>713682243
>Your legs fall off

>>713682705
But you turn into a random animal. The randomness has no order and cannot be predetermined.

>>713682732
you can only read minds stupider than you.

>>713682802
.... Im ok with this!

>>713682816
you only have this power when there is no one in sight and it only has a range of 10ft

>>713682816
anyone can make you trip and fall at will

gay time travel

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Suddenly I become a functioning member of society.

>>713682904
Guess i should have specified human in my post.
Baa baa black sheep who you gonna fuck?

>>713682989
to strait only times

>>713682850
That could be very useful for non-communicative type retards

>>713683000
downside: you have to reply to this post or your mother dies in her sleep tonight

>>713683000
>replied

>>713683025
You fuck

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>>713683025
>>713683000

>>713683000
Checked

>>713683000
Nice trips.

You can only function as an over the phone tech support agent and every customer is completely retarded.

http://powerlisting.wikia.com/wiki/special:random

see what you get fellas

The ability to disguise 4chan as tumblr

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>>713683000
Nice trips you Homogen Schitzafucker

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>>713683112
>>713683114
That's the downside of his power, you don't need to reply you fucktards, use your gay brains a little

>>713682596
But everyone you meet gets removed from your memory after 4 weeks, never developing a long lasting relationship.

>>713683025
Fuck off.

>>713683222
At least you replied. Better watch your back anon

The ability to pause time

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>>713683222
Im not taking any chances, negroid

>>713683312
resuming time causes it to fast forward at 2x speed

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>>713683000
Nice trips fig. also checkd

The ability to pimp slap with the force of a jackhammer.

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>>713681095

>>713683312
it pauses all clocks but not real life

>>713683373
If you make eye contact with a dog you will be killed instantly

>>713683373
Your hand can't take the hit either and it blows up into meat wads on the first slap.

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>>713683287
>>713683318
>not trusting the power of trips

My heart is broken
poor misguided childs

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>>713683424

>>713683312
you have to use a n64 joystick to do pause and resume time

>>713683014
Kek

>>713680106
You're only visible when you're completely naked.
To become invisible you must put on any piece of clothing however the clothing itself does not become invisible.

>>713683424
>>713683424
>>713683424
>>713683424

You shut the fuck up jesus christ that is literally my biggest fear.
The idea of a dog that when I look at it I just die and fade into some nightmare realm afterlife bullshit.

I will fuckig cut you i fucking swear

>>713683025
Got me, fagghut

>>713680575
I've wanted to be able to do this my whole life, just with the ability to target whoever I want...

>>713681985
Can't get into anything

>>713679261
The ability to manipulate all matter and dimensions on a molecular level.

>>713683144
Been there. It's an awful job.

Superpower: You can shapeshift into anyone, including animals.

The ability to stop and stsrt time at will and be able to move around the world doing whatever i want while time is stopped.

>>713680106
your clothes still show when you go invisible

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>>713683629

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>>713683424
>>713683585

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>>713679261

If OP is an illegal inmigrant, specially from Mexico, would be the worst nightmare for Trump. LOL

>>713683222
>Trips of truth

>>713683647
Your entire body shapeshifts except for your face

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My ability is to make memes more contagious whenever I approve of them.

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oil vision

The Power to Joey from Friends but not Moica or Chandler

>>713683675
>get naked before going invisible

>>713683643
You have to know how it all functions and fits together or it falls apart.

>>713683647
It takes 24 hours to complete the transformation and it is excruciatingly painful especially when transforming back. And you have to be awake the whole time

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>>713683747

>>713683647
Spaghettio versions only.

>>713683373
the jackhammer is actually a plastic toy

>>713683761
downside: they instantly become overused and normie bait

>>713681343
Underrated post

>>713682732
You can only read minds in languages you can't understand

>>713681122
You are a faggit

>>713683761
Only to technologically retarded mothers over 40.

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>>713683909
Then that's a good thing.
The wheat and the chaff or whatever

>>713683761
Everyone around you will look/act like the meme until you approve the next one

>>713681478
Downside: you're black

>>713680106
it works flawlessly, just as you imagine except for your cock and balls are always visible and they become bright neon colored when you go invisible. imagine a bright neon sack and penis just gliding through the air at waist level for all to see

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>>713683431
I didn't see the trips. We're safe
>trips will it

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>>713681343
Underrated as fuck

>>713683159
I got fucking Singularity:
The ability to resist being mimicked, copied or replicated.

>>713684131
You could still technically do some snooping though. Just hide in a corner with a book over it or something.

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>>713680106
You have to peel all the dead cells that form your skin
Also once you do that, everyone can see the content of your intestines, since the bacteria and shit isn't technically part of your body anymore

I want a superpower where everyone who sees me dies. Whatchya got for me /b/?

>making people completely forget the thing they are talking about

>>713679304
you have to eat a live bird to fly for 1 hour

>>713684253
you die when you see the reflection of your body even if you aren't aware of it

>>713684187
all organ and blood transfusions fail because you change upon their introduction.

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I can raise the dead and lower the living.
And also my blood is chocolate milk

>>713684262
You have only a 15 second memory and you forget you even have this superpower.

>>713684262
> you remember it everyday

>>713684253
they don't die if they see a picture of you or see you through some refractive element like glass or water

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>>713684075

>>713684351
you require constant blood infusions to stay alive more than a few seconds

>>713683669
You implement the use of shit and piss-filled porta-potty toilet portals to enter the frozen time state.

>>713684253
Every time you poop you lose 1 year of life. Diarrhea = 5 years.

>>713684187
congrats, youre a mew

there are some pretty weird ones, One time I got the ability to turn into a beautiful irish lady, but the bottom half of me was a goat. Like a centaur, but with a goat. weird. Those crazy irish.

>>713684262
you have to make them taste your shit

I can see through objects (clothes, walls, etc) at my command.

You can breathe underwater.

>>713684306
Would I not be immune to myself?
i.e. Midas did not turn himself to gold even though he was touching himself

>>713684516
Cant control how deep it goes.

>>713684187
>>713684488
oh I fucked up, though it was the other way around. does this mean you'd be able to beat a mew?

>>713683795
Looks like I'm going to be destroying and remaking reality by ear for awhile

>>713684516
You can't control how far you see

>>713684516
Everybody can tell when you do it.

>>713683669
You can't breathe while doing anything and nothing can be changed from their frozen position

>>713684569
You cant breathe out of it.

The power of leaving a perfect first impression on everyone you meet.

18-inch horse dong

>>713684569
but you don't actually get any oxygen into your bloodstream

the ability to change 1 word in this post to nigger

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my superpower is choosing 1 superpower with no downside

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Everyone is a furfag and you are all so attracted to the thought of your fellow rollingneckbeard that you all arrange to meet in Detroit for a massive orgy.

>>713684673
can only keep it up only for a few seconds

>>713684666
People forget who you are every day

>>713684501
if the object covers another thing you can't see the thing but what's behind the object.

for instance, you can't see what's inside a girl's shirt but you can see what's behind her like when textures/models don't load in a game and you see floating heads

>>713684666
your trips left a good first impression

same powers as Scrödinger from hellsing
Immortality + teleportation
I think therefore I am.
can jump in volcano and live type shit

>>713684695
>9/10 times it will change to your address

>>713684666
But they shortly thereafter discover the truth.
t; free real-life downside

>>713684716
your superpower is >>713682144

>>713684716
You chose it, you don't get it. Not a downside tho, just working as intended

The power to die instantly

>>713684716
your superpower has the downside of the nearest superpower posted

>>713684777
hey come on now flipper, settle down there bud

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>>713684777

>>713684716
Your superpower works perfectly, but you get down syndrome when you acquire it.

The power to leave 4chan

being able to shoot unlimited spiders out of your wrists, also being able to chose the spider species at will.

>>713679261
The ability to make any of ketchup warm

>>713684716
You believe that having no anus is a superpower.

>>713684893
yes but you end up a reddit fag

>>713684666
Every time after that they think you're the biggest asshole.

>>713684893
for 10 minutes once

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>>713684777

>>713684866
you can only do it after feeling 1 day of pain in your nails

>>713683770
the oil is surround by lava

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>>713683312
When you resume time, it skips forward to a point analogous to how long you left it paused, with no one knowing what happened in between.

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>>713684877
>exactly 100 posts later
>77 dubs

>>713684893
You realize your life is meaningless, so you come back every night to laugh, cry and fap until you go to sleep. Rinse and repeat forever.

>>713684920
It always tastes like mustard.

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the power to make any girl or man i want have sex with me without catching anything ecause of it

>>713680575
Your face attracts any semen ejaculated because of this power

The ability to pick any superpower and to have no negative effects associated with it

the ability to give any life form cancer

>>713685104
starting with you

>>713679304
Bugs would crash into your face

the power of making homunculi that serve me and adore me like a god

>>713685104
Every time you do you end up with a random STD.

>>713685104
you end up like deadpool
constant healing of cancer on your own body

>>713685072
but you catch diseases "because" of it

>>713684782
Catatonic.

>>713685093
But you don't know how to use them.

>>713685072
none of them want anything more than a one night stand

If I have to take a shit or fart I can transfer my BMs to another human in the room and they have to shit or fart instead. This includes all conditions such as diarrhea and constipation. I have IBS so they had better buckle up.

>>713685072
You get erectile dysfunction

>>713685151
They all have the voice of gilbert godfrey.

>>713685222
damn

>>713684253
everyone in existence needs to see you first

>>713685072
you feel their emotional pain x 10 ^ your own emotional pain for 2 days

the power to die on command

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>>713685241
shiiiit

>>713684907
They have no loyalty.

>>713685241
that's evil ,

the ability to make Hillary president

>>713684777
neato

>>713685304
she starts wwiii

>>713685304
gets impeached second week in office

jews.

The power to see why kids love the taste of cinnamon toast crunch.

>>713685304
Trump becomes the emperor of earth.

>>713685354
that's happening regardless of who's in power anon

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>>713685241
>implying that's a downside

>>713685282
You need your mother's heart as reagent

>>713685282
But you cannot actually "die", and you feel all the pain in the world at once

>>713685304
She becomes president of Guatemala.

>>713685413
perfect image choice anon knowing her that bitch would be into it

the power of make canon anything i want

>>713685198
The ability to chose any superpower multiple times, all of which I can use, with no negative effects on the power or on my mind and body.

>>713685241
that's not a curse, that's a gift!

>>713685409
Nah dude. Putin already wants to repair relations with us because of Trump being elected. Same thing is happening all around the globe. Everyone wants to get along all of a sudden.

>>713685492
There will never be any fanart or porn of it.

>>713685502
In a universe that contains nothing.