>2 years since we broke up >haven't spoken since >neither of us know if the other is alive >going through my closet >see bag of stuff in there >knick knacks I got from her with our time together >standard shit : plushies, bracelets, etc
>find a book, hadn't seen it before >heart fucking drops >it's Norwegian Wood >remembered that I saw it with her >she cried through that movie >flick through it >she has outlined and highlighted the entire book >little notes, like how the book is different than the movie here >flicking through, a note suddenly falls out >pick it up and read it
"(Anon), I hope you find as much enjoyment out of this book as I did. Remember when we watched the movie together? This time, please read it to me. I love hearing your voice reading to me. I will always love you, no matter what."
>mfw I died on the inside >mfw I'm still dead on the inside
Appreciate what you have, anons. Appreciate it while you still have it.
>been 3 years since she left me >only person I ever loved >only actual friend I had >she went to a mental hospital >came out and refused to speak to me >occasionally read through the notes we passed during highschool >have to occasionally ask her family how she is >she developed schizophrenia
>>705049587 >was in high school >lovely gf >was sweet, caring, and gorgeous >sophomore year my little brother committed suicide >that same year when I needed her most, she dumped me >failed at all my suicide attempts >went to mental hospital >got out just fine >stupidly went back to her for some reason, even though we have broken up and got back together before >eventually couldn't take it anymore and sent her a note saying I never wanted to speak to her again >never heard from her since
I don't know if I should hate her. It's weird because I feel like I should hate her, but then again I don't want to...
>>705049587 Sigh, thanks OP. I hadn't thought about her in a while.
>lonely jerk off >get drunk and post a male for female post on craigslist >get a response from a girl who lives close to me >shes into shit that I'm into. Even likes the fucking tyranids >start out as fuck buddies and work up to dating >shes in college and crashes her car twice coming to see me >her parents hate me. Obviously I'm the reason for her doing badly in school >we grow apart and instead of understanding what she was going through, i got greedy and said if she wasn't with me as much as I wanted I couldn't be with her >break up with her >realize my mistake, become a depressed alcoholic, finally dig myself out of my hole, move on after 2 or 3 years >moving out of my roommates place and move my dresser, find a drawn picture she made for me >cream.jpg >the feels come back >after that the scab never healed
OPs got the right of it, you don't know what you have until its gone.
>>705050836 I dunno man. Relationships are messed up these days. It used to be that you'd have a brief courting period then shit or get off the pot. Now people just hang around in "dating" limbo for years then drift because there's no more tingles left. Never mind commitment, starting a family or anything or God forbid growing up and becoming adults together. Just float around in perpetual adolescence with now real purpose or meaning in life. It's depressing. There would have been a time where being together for 5 years without having been married yet would seam absurd. And really it is absurd.
>>705053247 It's not that she didn't respond back, it's that she was practically whoring around when she wasn't with me. Literally the same day she broke up with me, she "happened" to get asked out by another guy, and of course said yes.
It takes 7 years to supposedly get to know someone, yet ya look at it, most these days don't usually last more then 4. People get in a real hurry, and worst, you got parents fucking pressuring to marry and have grandkids asap.
It's a confusing rabbit hole, I say I'd rather be single then be played a fool again.
>Yeah and a half after we split >Get random phone call from out of province >It's her >Small talk, catching up on stuff >Nice to finally get some closure >FF a year >She comes home to attend her grandmother's funeral >Messages me at 3am >We agree to meet up >Walking through town, taking the same I always took when we used to meet when we first started dating >Flood of memories come back to me >Repress emotions, but deep down I'm dying >Meet her in our old meet up spot >Damn what a beautiful creature >Why did I ever let her go >Smell whisky >She's drinking a flask of Captain Morgan straight out of the bottle >Ask her why >We go to her place, actually her shed since she's staying with her parents >Turned into massive alcoholic >Full blown crazy >Dropped like 60 pounds since I last seen her, probably weighed like 90 pounds soaking wet >But yet, I still wanted her back >She's borderline crying the entire time
>>705053606 >I say I'd rather be single then be played a fool again.
Me too. The thing is I think the reason so many of us are played like that is because of a cultural collapse at the hands of horrible cultural marxist / feminist long march through the institutions of our institutions. It's made people jaded, selfish and nihilistic. When the world is running down you make the best of what's still around.
>Live and depend on someone else to feel anything at the worst point in my life > > > >Get cucked >Cant feel anything anymore >Develop Panic Attacks and many other severe mental illnesses >Huge downwards spiral and im broke as fuck Time to kill myself?????
>>705053849 >Eventually breaks down and starts bawling >Talking about how I'm her first for everything >Her first real boyfriend >The first person she ever fell for >The first person to really make her feel anything >The first person she ha sex with >The first person she thought she would marry >The feels are too much, repress them again >We walk for a few hours, interrupted by sporadic breakdowns >She's fall to the ground sobbing hysterically >Also hammered drunk >I'd grab her arm and help her up >She's hold me tight like she did those years ago when we were together >We eventually depart >I still think of her a lot, even almost 4 years after we split
Y-Ya gotta listen to me /b/. Love is nothing more then a chemical reaction that happens inside our bodies that compels us to mate. It hits ya hard, then slowly fades, leaving in stranded in a failing marriage. Break the cycle /b/, focus on science.
>>705054045 Yeah... We'd been together for 3 years. The most I got from her was a bj. Not one to mention something like that all the time, but it turns out not even a year after we broke up, she actually had a kid... Which is really fucked up... I went on a blind rage that night and had to drink some wine to calm my shit. I will never forgive her for what she did... I want her to suffer, but then again I don't... The more I think about her, the more I hate her.... She literally manipulated me through our entire relationship... and I was too blind to see it...
>>705054577 says the guy who keeps his deformed wife cryogenically frozen while he's crippled with alcoholism at his inability to help her in any way, knowing that even if he travels through time to undo his mistake he could just go back to the timeline where she was mutated and find her still there, suffering after he abandoned her.
>>705049587 holy fuck this broke my heart, dude you fucking hold on and try to give yourself a better life, go working out, anything, Idk if I'm just high as fuck but this brought me to tears, the saddest shit I've EVER HEARD IN MY LIFE.
>>705054607 I know that feel. But really you need to stop giving a fuck about it. And so do I. Just a matter of learning to pay more attention to red flags along the way. Lord knows I ignored some shocking ones. For that part we have only ourselves to blame.
>>705049587 Iktf so much OP. It sucks so bad. It took me almost 4 years to finally get over an ex I dated for 6 years. Despite having 2 serious relationships after the fact and yada yada. It took me so long because I'm the one who fucked everything up. Forgiving yourself isn't easy. You will get past this though. Ily /b/ro
>>705055156 Ambitions? That can be a bad sign in a woman if it's career shit. Ambition to be a good submissive wife and mother who accepts that you're the boss? Now that's what I'm talking about. Probably have to be Amish to find that these days though.
>>705054949 Sadly true. Doesn't help when you have the lowest self esteem out of all the people you know, either... That whole experience made me not give a flying fuck about a lot of shit. I don't give a shit about probably 90% of the things I hear or read about. I'm mostly emotionless. I feel if I choose to.
>>705054607 I had a very similar situation, though not quite as long a relationship. But you know what? It gets better. While I was drinking my sorrows away a good friend of mine stepped up and we have been in a happy relationship since. And my whore of an ex? She got knocked up and had a kid at 22 with a guy she had been with for only a few months. Meanwhile, my lady and I play music together, go camping and fishing and generally just enjoy life. She is the best thing to ever happen to me.
Things get better, my /b/rothers, although sometimes you just have to try and grit your teeth and be patient.
>>705049587 Do something to signify you've moved on. I don't mean dating or anything, but it's in your best interest to get rid of things that remind you of her.
I had a similar situation. 4 year relationship, year 3 she moved away and we were good for almost 18 months, but things fell apart.
We kept sending each other things through the post, and I had so much of her shit when we decided to split up. We ended up donating some of the important stuff to the Museum of Broken Relationships in Los Angeles, and our shit was a temporary installation there.
I gave a tin of balm she had pressed her lips into. She gave (I shit you not) a pair of my boxers she liked to wear as pajamas.
A while after we found our shit was on display, we went to the museum together. It was cathartic, and we're on good terms now. She's married with a kid, and I'm concentrating on my career.
Do something to signify your new beginning. Give the book to a public library, leaving the note in. Send the book back to her. Or just throw away the whole bag.
>>705049587 The feel man <3. Time will make it better anon. - good friend once told me when I was in a bad place with something similar. Just focus on yourself and what your doing don't dwell and think about the other person, it's all about you now mate and yeah it isn't easy but life is what you make it. I bet your still young man trust me there will be some1 else out there for u dude! Life is what YOU make it. Grab life by the balls and make yo self happy
>>705049587 feel it. grieve for it. cry like a bitch if you have to. i dont know the cause/details of your breakup or who did it. but if you think it's at all possible to talk with her one last time without it being ugly, do so.
don't be a psycho about it, let her know you miss what you had, respect that it's done, and that you are thankful for the time you spent together. tell her it's important to yourself that you do this. if theres something you need to apologize for, do it but not with the expectation of forgiveness.
>dated a girl for 8 years >slowly drifted apart. started being just friends/fwb at the end. >moved to another city. >she broke up with me. i didn't care. we stayed friends >she started dating someone else. didn't care, was happy for her >she got engaged >suddenely thinking of all the things we were going to do with our future, all the stuff i let slip through my fingers. all the things we never got to do >told her i couldn't be her friend anymore >stayed salty about it for years. treated my current relationship like shit because of it >have small downward spiral for other reasons >recovering. self reflection. think of her. think of her being married and happy. realize i'm not mad, i don't miss her, but I have a lot of regret and I need to say goodbye. >write her an email, admitting how immature and manipulative i was. telling her I'm just saying goodbye, thanking her for being with me in some real hard periods. genuinely wishing her well. >she replies with just "thanks". >doesn't make me mad or sad, it finally feels over. finally feel i can move on.
2 years since then. im engaged, i'm wildly in love. im happy with myself, my relationship, and don't feel sour about what once was with somebody else.
i know it sounds like some made up fiction bullshit, if you dont wana believe it thats fine. just get yourself to hurt, let it go, be glad it happened.
>>705055471 >is jelly It took me a very long time to even be able to talk to people normally after that. My future looks bleak and lonely... I guess I'm probably better off alone anyway though. I'm kind of an ass hole. Not to people I care about though. And some instances outside of people I care about.
>>705051408 stick that shit, along with any other sentimental shit that reminds you of her, into a box. label it something like "her" (so reading her name doesnt trigger you) and store it in the attic, closet, under bed, somewhere out of sight.
i know what its like not having the willpower to throw it all away, but you need to remove as much chance as possible of accidentally stumbling across that shit, because this is exactly what happens ("this"being the emotions that spurred this threads creation)
>dating a girl 7 years younger than me, angel face, pirate mouth 10/10 >we spend all day together, actually enjoyed being with each other >spoke all day, text all the time (back in the day when every text cost you money) >first girl I introduced to my parents >used to talk about our future together, kids and stuff, true love >slowly but surely we drifted away after 5 years >I used to say i would never let her go, now I can't remember her birthday...
When I think about it I realize how futile are words and that the only thing we should long for is to find a small measure of peace in company of the ones like you.
Hope you can find it in your memories and in moments to come Anon.
I'm an asshole too, but you gotta pull yourself out of it. You know how I fixed it? I found a girl that was just as much of an asshole as you, but in a good way. Probably does not make very much sense in text, but we joke about the same fucked up shit and have the same semi-bleak outlook on life, though we are the absolute sappiest towards each other. Just remember that allowing yourself to be miserable accomplishes nothing. Funny that I used to hate when people would tell me that shit, yet here I am spouting it off like a jabroni.
>>705054783 >>705055921 Absolutely not this. She is gone, OP. Accept it and move on with your life. There are 3.5 billion other fish in the sea, and I assure you there are quite a few that are bigger, tastier, and easier to catch. Just keep casting your line and moving forward.
>>705056274 Hah. Sounds like what I had but somehow it still went to shit. Probably a lot to do with me being a drunk and her being suicidally depressed though. That can get ugly. I will miss the laughs and sharing of a cynical and jaded sense of humour though. Oh and the sex.
I'll throw in some details as to what happened in between her and I.
>she cheated on me twice >she threatened me with suicide if I left her >I wasn't that great either after that, couldn't trust anymore >eventually relationship got salty, argument almost everyday >finally managed to sort shit out, proposed, got a non-shit job and an apartment >shit you not, she breaks up with me a day before Valentine's by text >didn't hear from her, she changed numbers and subsequently moved away >a few months later, she contacts me, only via Twitter DM >we talked, eventually decided to remain friends > I was okay with it >when I started dating another girl, she freaked out >"I can't stand seeing other girls around you" >dumbass me broke up with the girl I was dating for her >a few weeks later, found out that she (original ex) has been living with her new boyfriend the whole time. >I ended up severing all contact after that >no Facebook, no Twitter, no nothing
Now you know why I don't want to call her, or read her the dumbass book.
>>705056543 Fuck me dude you dodged a serious bullet. The threatening suicide thing is often a tactic of psychologically abusive people. They can berate and criticize you all they want but don't dish it back out at them because they're fragile and might off themselves.
>>705056178 I don't get much out of listening to things. More of a visual person. Plus I don't like being lazy anyway.
>>705056274 I don't know, man. I have some pretty bad insults... For the most part, I keep everybody the fuck out if I can help it. Minus friends and some family of course. If I found some girl that's as big of an ass hole as I am or even bigger, I feel like I'd want to know said person... Only problem is most people don't take too kindly to being called a failed abortion or a dumpster child. So after they hear that, they ignore me. Nobody has ever spoken to me after I say that to them. Probably better that way. Although I don't go around insulting random ass holes...
>>705049587 can feel you.. but, and I guess this will not be the first time you hear this, you will get over it, don't make youself miserable about something that happend and you can't change anymore, build up your own life again here take a little laugh on the way
What about when the colors change? Are you still going to want to look back at the shit that did not work out for obvious reasons? I know I sure don't. My first gf broke my heart. I spent a while pining over her, but now I am with a new girl and happier than ever. I don't even think about my old relationships until I stumble into some feels thread on /b/ like this one. I don't pretend that my first few failed relationships never happen, but I never go back looking to recall the few good feelings they provided at the time
>>705057469 I know I'll get over it. I'm not worried about that.
I only posted here because, to be honest, I didn't have anyone else to say this to at this hour. I just wanted to get a little weight off of my chest and I'm surprised that there are still some kindhearted people on here.
I can't thank you all enough for spending a little time with me.
>>705057363 Hah, I tried once. I failed horribly. I can't stand being nice to people for too long. I insult everybody I know. They don't give a fuck. My best friend and I sometimes just sit and try to think of the most horrible and offensive insult possible.
>>705057458 Tried a few times. Doesn't seem to work. I don't care if nobody cares about me, I'm only here to see what people are saying and what I can maybe get people to say. (sarcasm) Good insult though 100% original. Never heard it before ever. (/sarcasm)
Mine g/f, after a decade being together, stole my emergency savings and maxed my paid of credit card, then ditched me...the day after I got laid off during the great recesson.
Took me 6yrs to fully recoup. Had to move in with family on the other side of the U.S. (lost 2/3 of everything I own because couldn't afford to move it.
Then she sent me an email a few years later with hi-res images of her wedding...on Xmas.
All my life I never trusted anyone because I knew people will fuck you over if they feel they have to. I had NO excuse. I shouldn't have thought she was my best friend.
I won't make that mistake again. You won't either if you know what's good for you OP. If you do, and you get fucked like me, you will be surrounded by people who either feel nothing but pity or laugh at you for it.
>>705049587 well op, i just started dating again with my ex, 3 years relationship that went down the shitter, she dumped me, i was destroyed, unemployed, living with my parents again (at 31), started pulling my shit together, got a job (shitty one, but i need the money), started working out, and for some reason I posted on facebook about burning down every one of the things that had a meaning for the relation, she texted me the next day and we have been dating again. we were apart for 6 months, but in this time i realized i dont need her to be happy, if she wants she is welcome, but if not i will keep on doing my shit and being happy
>>705049587 What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.
>I love you >I will never leave you i couldn't imagine life without you >We are probably gonna get married >Your like my soulmate and my best friend >I love you more than anyone or anything i've ever come across in my entire life >I promise i'll always be yours
>>705049587 Hadn't spoken with my long distance ex for three years. We never met in real life, but we had a blast playing games and Skype calling together. Needless to say, messaged her on her Facebook profile I found telling her to take care and how much she meant to me. Felt good nigga. Seek her out and tell her that she's special.
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