ITT times we were alpha as almighty fuck, I'll start >be

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>>691768567
>kills a pet
>im alpha as fuckkkk XDDDD
>promise

>treat everyone with kindness and compassion
>pray to jesus every night
>go to church every Sunday
>abstain from drugs and alcohol
>alpha
>as
>fuck

>>691768651
I'd like to see you do any better 12 year old fucking faggot

>>691768567

>>691768567
Summer already.

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>>691768567
>flawless victory
>lol fatality
>killing a cat

You sad nigger

>>691768567
>ITT: betas tell fictional stories to feel better about their own autistic life

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>>691768567
Calling yourself alpha isn't alpha. You wormy little faggot

>>691768721
christianity-being alpha
pick one

>playing WoW
>really need to pee
>run to bathroom
>start peeing
>cropspray errywhere
>run back to computer
>mom goes in bathroom
>shouts at me for peeing on floor, tells me to wipe it up
>I say no I'm busy
>bitch
>she mops up my pee
>I'm a level 72 druid
>I got epic items
>alpha as fuck

>>691768910
>newfags not knowing what alpha REALLY is
get cucked you chucked fuck

>>691768567
>Starts a shit-tier thread on 4chin
>half-ass story is beta-cuck at best
>nobody likes what I took the 30 seconds to type out
>sob quietly in the corner while inserting sharpie in pooper
>alpha
>as
>fuck

Also, a sage on your garbage thread, nigger.

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>>691768910
Alpha and omega

>>691768721

>hear wife crying and moaning for god everynight while praying with tyrone on my bed
>she doesnt let me in because i will "disturb" her religious life

>have gf
>meet her hot friend
>gf is annoying
>break up with her
>keep talking with hot friend
>"best friends"
>shes a virgin
>fak her
>have trisome with her and other girl few weeks later

>>691768910
God is the alpha and omega. It is only by following in the path He has laid out we can hope to ever come close to what He is.

I hope you too can see the light, some day. I shall pray for you.

>>691768567
>>691768651
>she tells me they had to have the cat euthanized
>they
>neighbor
>alphalfa as fung
op claims victory. all he did was kick a cat

>>691768567
Do you even know what alpha means? Kicking small animals is some beta shit.

>>691769066
that's christianity for you kek

>mom be giving me a lift to the mall
>I'm eating a bacon roll in the car
>we take a detour through Jew Town
>girl waiting at bus stop outside kike elementary school
>I flick a piece of bacon gristle at her
>alpha as all fuck

>>691768567
It's not a flawless victory if you took damage, dummy.

>>691769066
Sounds like you've been sparing the rod a little too much. God gave us the ability to take control of our lives, and you whine about Tyrone.

>be me
>15yo sister in her room dancing to Miley Cyrus songs
>go in there, tell her to shut the fuck up
>she turns volume up and keeps on dancing
>I punch her really hard in the tit
>she starts crying immediately
>I unplug her speakers
>eject CD and throw it across room
>tell her I hope she gets tit cancer
>back to my room
>play My Chemical Romance really loud
>alpha as fuck

>>691769281
Take your pretentious "holier than thou" shit elsewhere. This is hell.

>phone up nigger church from payphone
>hello, pentecostal church of
>NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER
>slam phone down
>run off before FBI trace the call
>alpha as fuck and a half

>>691768733
>kills tiny animal
>ooooh so alpha

>>691769429
As you wish. But at least I'm not the one getting cucked to death.

>be me , 12yo summerfag
>go online to anyonmous image board
>tell everyone I'm Alpha as fuck
That's alpha as fuck bro

This happened 2 months ago
This is also my virginity story
>Party at dude's house
>Don't really know him
>sausage fest
>4 girls there
>2 are lesbian couple
>1 is interested in one guy
>1 oddball
>everyone knows this
>Girl is cute, Chubby, and obviously looking to get with a guy
>after a while to party starts to die down
>Girl talk to me while Im playin good ol' smash bros
>Get to talking about shit
>I apparently become smooth alpha among these Chads and fags
>Drink more
>Both drunk
>People fall asleep
>Friend falls asleep about 3 feet away from where I decide to sleep
>Girl sticks around and chills in bed with me
>Everyone (or so we thought) falls asleep
>fuck right next to sleeping guy
>People upstairs
>Other girl who was interested in certain guy wakes up
>Girl im fucking is a screamer
>Im also 8 inches
>she is incredibly tight

Lost my virginity and won the girl at a crazy party. I would never change a thing
I might also date this girl. But so far we are just fucking
I've had sex around 7 times now
im 18

>be waiting to use ATM
>some fucking cripple in a wheelchair in line ahead of me
>presses the wrong fucking buttons
>gets his card back, goes to put it back in the machine
>I tell him to get to the back of the line because it's my turn at the ATM now
>alpha as fuck

>>691769504
Are you sure? Sounds like the issues seem to be on your end.

>be hanging out with gf
>gf has major hygiene ocd
>realize my armpit stinks
>smell again
>tell her it smells EXACTLY like her pussy
>lost her three years ago and basement dwell on /b/ every day
>alpha
>as
>cuck

>be me
>have pretty fat dad
>friends all know, make fun of me
>one friend (we'll call him Sam) puts his arms in his pants, leans back pretends he's fat
>"hahahaha hey look I'm anon's dad"
>I'm actually offended
>I have enough of this
>I go:"hey look, I'm Sam's dad"
>casually walk away
>his parents are divorced

>>691768567
Causing the uneeded suffering and death of animals is wrong you horrible fucking asshole. It was probably your fault the cat scratched you and you most likely deserved it.

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>>691768567
Alpha? Fucking faggot loser. That's as beta as you can get.

>>691769651
God gave us the staff with which to lead. He also gave us the rod with which to beat niggers like Tyrone to death for even looking at our women. It's not my fault he's more of a man than you are.

>>691768970
Kek

>>691769853
7 Judge not, that ye be not judged.

2 For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again.

3 And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother's eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye?

Eat shit, by your own logic.

>>691769097
>>691769524
these are the only ones even close to alpha. the rest of you are fucking pathetic

>>691768567
>newfags replying to bait as old as this alpha/beta garbage
>beta
>as
>fuck

>be me
>be riding the bus
>see cute girl on bus
>she stands up to get off the bus
>I get off the bus at her stop
>go up to her and shout you're nice, chase me
>run off
>run about half a mile, close to complete exhaustion
>she couldn't keep up with me
>alpha as fuck

>>691768567
It's not a flawless victory if it scratched you first you retard.

>>691769759
kek

>>691769993
ikr, I'm OP and I fucking invesnted that copypasta years ago

and it still works, every time

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>>691768567

>alone at night in flat
> wake up when someone mashed the glass by the door as someone's trying to break in
> get up and stand out of site of the door
>cough and in my best Phil Mitchell voice start shouting at this guy any hard man bullshit I can think off 'do you know who the fuck i am?' , 'last warning I'll fucking murder you' ect..
Scared him the fuck off, and only been robbed once since when I was out the flat and I've got nothing worth stealing anyway

>>691768733
Ive killed men with my bare hands faggot

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>>691770248
one time I killed a cow just by shouting at it

>>691770396
dovahkiin??

>>691768567

>Bars closing
>Gf suggests after hours club in the ghetto
>Fuck it i aint scuurd
>Only white man there
>everyone checkin out my girl
>Dancing
>short manlet black guy starts grinding on my girl
>She looks at me and with fear
>I laugh and givehim thumbs up
>we alk go bck to my place
>Short dude has 8 inch cock
>Totally destroys her pussy
>He leaves
>we cuddle

>>691770396
I killed a chicken, and the entire town tried to kill me.

>>691770000
confirmed by quads, alpha male detected

>>691770203
kek

>>691770396
That webm got me hard

>>691769524

oldfag here,

you think this is what makes you alpha:

>fuck right next to sleeping guy

But actually that was what makes you alpha

>Girl talk to me while Im playin good ol' smash bros

The day you understand this, is the day you win.

>>691770248
edgy

Ex gf's cousin hates me and wants to fight. So I fuck his gf and now he leaves me alone. I am alpha

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>>691770811
you're ready for this then

>>691771011
im in

>>691771011
...why.. do you have these anon?

>>691770969
that makes no sense. This is either complete BS or your ex-gfs cousin is the definition of a beta faggot. Either way, you're not alpha.

>be me, night out, clubbing and shit
>Get wasted
>Be completely destroyed outside of club sitting on the ground
>Hottest chick of the club comes to me ask if im cold/need a jacket
>Tell her to fuck off

Alpha as fuck

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>>691768567
Edgelord

>>691771098
>be me
>be every night of the week
>go in my room and beat off to animals sucking things
>alpha as fuck

>be me
>tired af(holding in a shit will stress me out if it big enough, which exhausts me of all energy supply)
>im only 5 minutes from house and i just had the seats vacuumed and ass sweat nullified
>see an old lady exit phone booth
>pull over, get out of car and enter booth
>pull down pants and aim my glutes to the corner away from seeing eyes
>im sweating as my body takes up 92% of the booth space and heats up the air immediately
>with flash thinking i grab phone behind my head and pretend im having a convo with my gf
>the time i took for positioning with the little space i had just barely paid off
>anus has lost all strength, the gates have fallen
>a glistening stream of diarrhea splurts out a shape resembling an eagles tail span
>i hold posture the whole time
>my face red and expressing a passionate mood of sweet sex talking
>jealous plebs are walking by and noticing everything but what i dont want them to see
>once i finished, i wipe with phone, pull up pants, and get out
>still very tired but i manage to get into an army crawl which takes me 13 minutes to huff and puff my way back to car
>i manage to heft myself onto my knees and pull door handle, but im too exhausted to pull myself in
>people starting to suspect the yellow brick road of shit and piss leading to me
>my flash thinking kicks in yet again
>WHYYYYY!!! VALERIE MY LOVE!!!!!(i reach into air)
>WHY DID YOU HAVE TO GET PREGNANT AND LOSE THE CHILD!!! AND WHY DID YOU WAIT TO TELL ME DURING PHONE SEX!!!
>people are aghast at my amazing acting, distracted, one guy even pulls out a phone to capture the majesty that his eyes can behold (i practice in front of a mirror sometimes)
>in the excitement i muster enough strength and willpower to enter my car
>drove away and entered my house
>i crawl in bed to pass out from my rough day
>nobody knew what happened in the booth until it was too late
>a mysterious man shit in the telephone booth and got away unnoticed
>alpha af

>>691768567
Haha yeah man you are such a tough guy I really like the part where you managed to critically hurt something smaller than you by kicking it who would have thought that was going to happen?

message for everyone who's gotten upset at OP

you have completely utterly missed the fucking point of the thread

please kill yourselves immediately

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>>691768567

>>691771395
fucking moron

>be me 15 at party
>pretty shit party
>having a good time drunk on the dancefloor
>random qt starts talking to me
>remember my friend (host) likes her
>try to wingman him - to no avail
>keep chatting
>she takes me out to start doin the smooch
>after doin the smooch we decide to bang
>bang on host's bed
>return
>host asks qt to go to the movies
>no.jpg
>alpha
>as
>fuck

>>691768567
You're fucking retarded.

>>691768891
My dad did something alpha, kind of:


>My dad is sleeping
>My mom hears a smash
>mom goes stiff and wakes dad
>my dad hears some rustling and the odd creek
>thinks it's the dog
>I'm fast asleep when this is happening
>dad keeps mom I and brother up stairs so that there is no way they would be on their own
>dad walks downstairs
>points shotgun at kitchen
>sticks head in
>sees guy peering at him from behind the island counter in the kitchen
>shouts at him "I'm armed" and "get the fuck out"
>this wakes me up
>guy must be on drugs or is retarded or something
>the robber gets up and walks towards my dad
>dad sees he has something in his hands
>just fires his shotgun in the mans direction in the adrenaline rush
>the robber falls back
>the robber has clearly been shot across the shoulder arm and chest, turns out some buckshot went in the mans face too
>the guy gets up and starts screeming
>my dad is in shock, he shouts at the guy to fuck off
>the guy gets up and stumbles towards the window while groaning
>I am awake now and I am agitated because my mum isn't letting me see whats going on and is keeping me in my bed.
>the guy then drags himself back out through the window
>my dad watches as the guy limp-runs off into the bushes
>turns out that the guy died of blood loss on the pavement in our sub-division
>my dad composes himself and checks the kitchen
>blood is on the counters, cupboard doors and the floor
>my mum comes down stairs and my dad tells her to call the police
>my dad just puts the shotgun on the counter and when I look downstairs the lights are still off and he is slumped in the doorway
>the police come over and are actually quite understanding, tells us everything is going to be okay
>few people come over, take the gun and clean up the kitchen which way bloody as fuck
>there was a knife outside the window apparently and the guy was a career criminal
>my dad is fine though.

>be chatting to girl on omegle
>arrange to meet up
>sit in cafe for two hours
>go home
>alpha as fuck

>>691768567
>Choked my girlfriend during sex

>>691771418
>Joke's on you! I was only pretending to be retarded!

>>691771629
I could fucking kick you to death any day of the week fucking fagballs

>>691768890
/thread

>>691768567
Dude...you got scared by a cat.

>>691768567

The question not asked yet: Why did the cat scratch the OP? Petting the cat. But where?

Short answer: OP had is dick in the cat's anus, got scratched, and subsequently killed the cat.

Yeah, you're alpha as fuck, bro.

>>691772124
he gets more pussy than you do faggot

>>691768840
>>691768733
>>691768721
>>691768651

Summer fags feed the troll and eat the copy pasta

>>691772188
I see what you did thar

>>691768970
>sharpie in proper
Word, alpha dog

>>691772201
Wow, you guys even have your own secret code words. 'Copy pasta' 'summerfags' I only hope I can learn to be as cool as you guys.

>never played guitar in my life
>be headbanging to Metallica in my friend's room
>pick up his guitar
>play solo from Master of puppets perfectly, better than the version on the album
>smash his guitar to pieces
>he is so impressed he sucks my penis
>alpha as fuck

>>691772412
not sure if newfag or just a faggot in general

>>691770248
Story?

>be at friends' kid's bday party
>they have me tell stories
>6 yr old little bitch keeps interrupting me
>knee her in the head "by accident" while walking by
>little bitch starts crying
>too distraught to articulate wtf happened
>go have a beer with her dad
>alpha as fuck

>>691772431
yesss

>>691768567
>be me in art class
>blue hair tumblr girl awkwardly flirting with me
>asks for my number in a really awkward way
>turn away and pretend I didn't hear her
alpha
as
fuck

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>19 y.o. me at home, spending time on facebook (a year ago)
>hear my mom at the window
>"anon, the neighbour's dog is fighting with our dog, I think he's gonna kill ours"
>our dog is only half amstaff
>I'm a manlet
>I don't think
>run out of the house, grab an iron pitchfork
>they're in the garden
>start stabbing the other dog and shout at it
>that dog has fucking kevlar in it's skin
>neighbours hear
>they come and call it
>shit's over
>what the fuck did I just do?
pic related, it's the neighbour's dog

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>>691768567

>masturbated into my sock.
>twice.
>alpha
>as
>fuck

>>691772627
fuck me, that's is prime alpha silverback gorilla behavior right there

>>691772666
>out alpha'd by a dog
ohshitnigger

>>691772666
>pitchfork
>666
satan's here, guys
also, checked

>be at the mall
>be walking into a store
>woman be walking out of the store
>I hold the door open for her
>perfect gentleman as fuck

>>691772950
Just how much neckbeard do you have under that fedora?

>>691772950
>alpha detected

>>691771718
Your dad did the right thing /b/ro. I hope he keeps coping well with what happened.

>>691772923
I'm telling you man, that breed of dog has a 10 inch layer of hair

>>691772950
>be at the mall
>be walking into store
>woman be walking out of store
>hold door open for her
>she thanks me
>as she passes through slam door in face
>yell alluh agrahba!!
>headbutt her child
>explode into a million aladins

>Wife upstairs dealing with screaming kid
>I tell her I have to go do an emergency work thing
>go downstairs and get on omegle
>see hot girl
>tell her I'm married and wife is in the next room
>also tell her she is hot and has nice tits
>notice her smile and nibble her lip
>dominate the fuck out of her
>cum buckets while she masturbates with a hairbrush handle jammed in her asshole
>wife still dealing with screaming kid and changing poopy diapers
>alpha as fuck

>>691771718
NRA/10. Well Played.

>>691768567
Short story time time
>Be retarded
>"Gonna go get chips from gas station"
>Drive to shitty gas station
>Walking in door
>Mexibeaner, typical wetback, shaved head, white shit, long tan shorts, high socks, tattoo's everywhere
>He's coming out, I'm going in
>Brush shoulders like a couple fags
>"Watch where you're going puto!"
>Pushes my chest
>Right foot lands square
>Straight left, wild right hook
>Drops like a sack of shit
>Look at gas station dude, he's fucking shocked
Now retard mode
>Run to my car
>Haul ass home
Not sure why I was running away.. Didn't get my chips.

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>>691769524
Am I alpha yet?

>>691773177
kek

>>691770121
so you invented it years ago. you know the people who fall for it are either retarded or playing along. You are aware that this is a waste of time as much for you as for the 5 oldfags and 20 summerfriends who are following this shit. Yet you still post it.... To "troll" people. you my friend are brilliant.

>>691773368
yes

>>691772666
Alpha Satan

>>691773678
>being disdainful
>alpha as fuck

>>691769307
Chemical Romance and you think your alpha?
eyy lmao

>>691773678
Agreed, not sure if /thread on account of this astute observation or /wrists for this making it to 115 posts...

>be me
>go on 4chan dot com slash B
>see loli thread
>report is as illegal content
>one hour later
>it's not there
>alpha as fuck

>>691773921
MODS!

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>>691774006

>>691774006
>guaranteed (you)'s

>>691773113
Thanks, yeah he's holding up well.

>>691774051
Apparently the cleaners are asleep again...

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>>691769097
>"fak here"

summer is here

>be me playing Halo 5 in dorm (underrated multiplayer)
>gf is over just watching
>talking to gamerbro over Xbox live cause we in team doubles
>gf starts giggling and touching n shit while I'm trying to play
>cute as shit, but we're loosing
>gf unzips my pants
>starts giving me A+ head
>gamerbro starts to catch on, "That's fucking gross, dude."
>he quits the game and leaves me in a 2 on 1 while we're loosing
>okyouasshole
>get a frenzy and come all the way back
>but in her mouth just a few seconds after the announcer says "Game over"
>alpha
>as
>fuc

>>691774298
close

>be me
>get into hacking
>open command prompt
>stay up all night typing PING TUMBLR.COM
>DDOS as fuck

>>691769739
Ah that's nothing!
>don't have gf
>dwell in mothers basement
>don't have job and constantly on /b/
>alpha
>as
>fuck

>>691774370
>but in her mouth

>>691773976
i've been off /b/ for like 3-4 years, come back and its like someone hacked up my gf into little pieces and then sewed it back together. still the same shit but just lifeless. I still remember /b/ros complaining board was ded near enough a decade ago. meh. i'll stop now.

>>691770646
Holy shit Alpha confirmed

>>691774370
nice dream, little kid of 12 years

>>691774418
thats just the same ending as my story /b/ro.
actually feels bad man.
but i swear, no shit, armpits really do smell like pussy.

>>691774410
kek

>>691768567
>flawless victory
Fucking liar he scratched you. thats not how a flawless victory works

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>come to this thread
>get dubs
>alpha
>as
>fuck

>>691768567
"I'm OP. I'm such an alpha faggot I overreact to getting a tiny wittle scratch. Alphuh ans phuuu"

>>691772615
lol

>>691768567
there was this one time:

>>691774655
about damn time

Neighbor is an asshole. Hates young people. last summer when he was at work my friends I shit in the assholes pool.

>>691769763
Falling for the bait so easily... Dont worry the op is a beta basement dweller who even if he kicked a cat not only would it not kill the cat, but I'd put my money on the cat winning.

>>691774006
>be me
>go on 4chan dot com slash B
>see pic of cute gril
>OP wants to know who she is
>I say I know her, she goes to my school
>I don't know her
>I don't go to school any more b/c I'm 48 years old
>trolled everyone
>alphabetti spaghetti as fuck

>>691768567
>arrive at consciousness.
>internalize sustenance
>metabolize sustenance
>initiate procedures to procure more sustenance
>browse /b/
>exit consciousness.
>repeat.
>alpha
>as
>fuck

>>691774528
Its not overly horrible, you just need a different approach... All you have to do is let your cynicism and snark take the wheel and you can derail these shits for hours. They sure as fuck aren't making these kids any fucking smarter...

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>>691768931

>be subatomic particle
>consist of two neutrons and two protons
>alpha particle as fuck

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I made my worst enemy's wife pregnant. 4 years later (present day), he's raising "his" daughter without knowing it.

Fucking kek. She doesn't let me fuck her ass anymore though because she actually cares about her family life, but those were good times.

>>691770687
I only kick the chickens.. For some reason they call me chicken chaser.

>be home alone
>dress up in sister's clothes
>fap in front of the mirror
>put everything back where I found it
>no one suspects a thing
>alpha as fug

>>691774821
noted. I have plenty of cynicism to go round. you know what i miss? fucking word filter. Fucking candy ass roody poos.

>>691775160
Apparently it still filters half-chan if you remove the dash

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>>691775160

>go to bar with older sister
>sitting on the patio at the grown up table
>tell the heroic story of how i beat up my exes heroin dealer
>chick steals the girls seat next to me to be closer
>8/10, probably 5 years older than me
>grabs my dick under the table and whispers in my ear "do you want to get it in?"
>stare at her like wtf this only happens in porn
>say "uhhh yeah definitely but i have to drive everyone back though"
>still getting under the table handjob
>everyone at the table pretending not to notice
>look over at sisters gay friend
>he's been watching every second, pretty creepy
>tell my sister we should all go
>chick comes along and gets shotgun because it's my sisters car
>pretending to hold my hand but still rubbing dick
>got there, everyone went inside my sisters
>stayed in the car (jeep) and started making out
>moved to the back seat and had cramped car sex
>drove my dads truck out there initially so i needed to get it back by 4am
>looked at the clock, 4:30am
>"oh shit, gotta drop you off, where can you stay?"
>points me to her friends house
>kick her out of the truck
>never see her again

>/lit/ alpha story
>reading some generic star wars novel at a local coffee ( I live in a country where coffees aren't hipster circlejerks )
> arrogant girl pass in front of me, like your ' I red book I smart ' basic bitch.
>She holds a fucking Sartre novel.
>She stop in front of me, look at my star wars books, looks at me with disgust, and puts in evidence her fucking shitty Sartre novel with a haughty looks.
>Then she leave, leaving a little song of disgust at me like 'huh'
>mfw when she thinks Sartre is the shit.
>What a fucking pleb
>Turns back at her, grab my Heidegger essay from my backpack.
>' Huh '
> She put her looks down.

Thank you Heidi. Best existentialist is dead existentialist. Kiddo tier philosophy.

Such are social interactions in France.

>>691771338
>tries this hard Beta assed nigger

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Good night old/b/ros, what few you are. My ass has been way to involved for one day. On this note, I leave on a sage.

>be christmas eve
>mom tells me to leave some cookies out for Santa
>eat the cookies
>stay awake til way after 10pm waiting for Santa
>still got presents in the morning
>atheist as fuck

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>>691775910
>sage

>>691775910
all fields bud. cya

>>691773947
Sure is summer in here.

>>691776165
you probably feel quite clever.

I once sucked dick for a busfare.
And then walked.

One time my mom came over uninvited and I said FUCK OFF.

I don't know which is worse, faggots calling each other summerfags, or the actual summerfags themselves

>>691776507
summer newfags

>>691776507
summerfag

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>>691774655
holy shit

>>691775471
Learn how to English

>>691769759
hahah shit

>>691776663
Fuck english we are the original lingua franca and since I have to use your shitty language I will at least butcher it.

>>691776800
>lingua franca
>translates as true language
>we are the original true language

>>691768567
nedm...

>>691772666
Did similar when my 2 neighbor dogs attacked my dog. I dropped the plant dirt I was carrying and jumped the fence so quick than yelled to the dogs to fuck off. All I needed to scare the bitch dogs back.

>be me in highschool
>Start to hate this snobby prick
> Tried to fight him a few times
>Even kicked him in the face while playing soccer
>He keeps saying he will beat my ass to his friends
>He has been dating the same girl for 3 years
> One day at my truck I see her walking to his car
>Ask her to come over where I start making out with her ( one of her friends said she liked me...she was kinda a whore)
>Waited till guy got close told him he can have his bitch back and smacked her ass

They broke up he got super depressed and stabbed his step mom and step sis( killed mom ) his now in jail....got luck crazy fuck did turn that shit on me

>>691776800
You know there's a little machine called an abacus that lets you calculate varying sizes of numbers in many different ways. It could be seen as the ancestor of the modern PC as it visualizes a concept using a simple medium. You can keep using your original linua franca and never update it, we will all continue to speak in the evolved tongue. far more complex and nuanced than french will ever be.

>>691773037
I can only grow a neckbeard and stalker stash....

>>691776939
>looks at the literal translation.
>doesn't look at what it means.
>lingua franca just mean a common language that is used internationaly for trades, exchanges etc.
>Which was french before english take the place of the worlwide lingua franca.
>My sentence makes total sense.
>Retarded anglo is just too retarded to get it.

>>691774610
Wouldn't know never smelt pussy or fucked it...
>alpha
>as
>fuck

>>691777437

>we are the original lingua franca

>we are a common language that is used internationaly for trades, exchanges etc

>>691774655
we have a winner

>be me @ 7yo
>be in class
>qt 3.14 sits at the desk in front of me
>I play with my 2 inch hairless dick under the table
>that means I had sex with her
>non stop bitch fuck / 10

>>691777121
>English.
>More nuanced than french

Top kek I was initially not serious about the ' I hate english ' claim, like obviously I just can't talk good english and don't do it on purpouse.

But claiming that english is more nuanced than french is clearly retarded and show that you know nothing about languages. Like you niggas have very few words to describe things, you usually group a lot of different things under the same word which make any description kind of lame.
Anw, German is even more complex than french and his god-tier language, but isn't very good for poesy because of its lego-bricks nature. For Philosophy on the other hand it is the best language. English is just easy and peasant-tier.

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>>691768567
>Be me
>Bullied all my life
>Girls never want to have sex with me
>enoughisenough.jpg
>Shoot up 20 people
>Kill 6
>Cops come before I can level up
>Blow my brains out
>Alpha as fuck
>Died Alpha

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>>691772220

>feces so money

DeD

>>691768567
>Join the RM at 16, fast forward 7 years
>designated sniper for FOB Inkerman
>lotta shit hitting the fan
>CO gets intel
>the Tali-ho are coming to our position
>CO "shoot any armed fucker at any range, Fuck Geneva"
>track 5-6 through irrigation ditches
>they're less than 400yds out
>nogettingawaynow.jpg
>first three don't know where shots coming from
>pop-pop-pop-HEADSHOT-MULTIKILL!.webm
>others run like fuck
>open ground, take bets from mates
>drop 2 more, right between shoulders *sweet*
>won my choice of scran
>curryfortheweektheshitsmatching.png
>get mentioned in dispatches
>my dad frames it
>boasts how sonfag killed untrained peasants
>fast forward 10 years
>OP kicked a cat
>in comparison I feel like a beta

>>691777780
Well, yes, we were the original language to be used for trades and exchanges, and then english take that place. Hence the, ' we are original lingua franca' . What's difficult to understand retard ?

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>>691768567
>at party friday
>bought a halfer cocaine
>thought that it would bait on girl
>up in buddies room dropping a line
>fatass and i
>fatass asks for a line
>how old are you?
>15
>god damn
>okay if you can tell me a story i'll give you a line
>tells me about how she wants to go into movie production & $5 just cause
>get her number
>she comes over last night
>tells me about how she has trust issues and she can't trust anybody
>a little more ay
>i'll fix u right up bby
>she's coming over again tuesday

She shares the same name of my crazy ex who is coming to live with me in 2 weeks lmao

>>691778635
It should read;
We were the original lingua franca.
not any more, hence the "were".
>What's difficult to understand retard ?

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>>691769759
Good one

>>691768567
Little faggot killed a cat - thinks hes alpha.
He's 13.

LOL all day at little faggot edge lord.


still laughing....
still laughing....

>>691779007
Well, you perfectly understand what I meant to say and also know I have shit english. What's the point of >> my sentences ?
>haha u said phings wrong
>did you understand ?
>yes but u said phings wrong
>ahah

>>691779117
>Falling for obvious bait

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>>691769759
>meet 16 year old nutter from the internet 3 weeks before I go to England
>she's into BDSM, hasn't even kissed a guy in years
>We get into each other
>go to england
>convince her to stay at a hotel with me for the weekend before I come to hers
>first night
>watching chick flick
>cuddle
>kiss her on the back of the head
>slowly move closer to her face with little kisses
>movie ends
>"I still haven't taken it yet"
>"taken what"
>"your first kiss"
>"what if i do-"
>kiss her
>Proceed to have almost sex all night
>go on amazing dates for the next 3 days
>she takes me to her house
>her dad makes me some kill ass tuna and cheese (not relevant but mention worthy)
>stay in parents inn
>she comes and stays because "there is a second bedroom"
>have crazy sexy bdsm sex that lasts for a good hour.

This is how i lost my virginity

>>691768567
That's actually the opposite of alpha bro. You're a little bitch.

>>691779350
Kek!
You correct someone else's English, then claim yours is poor?
The minute you set yourself out to be an expert and insulted someone who didn't understand you become fair game froggy!

Sounds to me like someone doesn't like being French in modern times, wishing you were still a country in your own right?
Germany tried to take and keep you for hundreds of years, now they've got you.
Learn German mate, it's going to be your lingua franca in a few decades Eurofag.

>>691768567
hope your moms dead OP

>>691769110
You're a delusional idiot who believes in this incredibly grand universe, the creator of it, actually would notice or be aware of humanity. Grow up and accept reality.

>>691779785
>such poor bantz.

I'm even too fed up to answer to that. What's next ? White flags and baguettes ? XD good maymays.

>>691771718
he did the right thing !!!
hope your dad know that to !!!

>>691779785

Not a chance. Germanys language will be arabic in "a few decades"

>>691773177
GOLD

>>691780357
Kek! True.

>>691768567
you murdered a small defenseless animal because you're a pussy that can't deal with an iddle widdle scratch and then ran away like a pussy, In what universe is this alpha?

No one who comes on 4chan is "alpha". Mainly because the concept of alpha/beta is a construct of your collective imagination.

Speaking truth to children though? Not that's alpha. So is not giving a fuck about greentexting cause your culture is boring and pathetic.

>>691780208
Kek!
You can keep your baguettes.
But the white flag has been flying over France since the EEC was formed.
Your agricultural policy requires everyone else in Europe to pay for your lazy farmers not to grow food.
Germany holds your purse strings and instead of being a powerhouse of Europe you are the sulking child always throwing your toys out of your pram.
No wonder you don't want to answer, France is a joke and you with it.

i used to be alphagay but then i had the surgery

>>691780889
Really?
Details...

>having sex with some girl I work with
>Pull out lube up and put in butthole
> No ask anal
>Alpha

i took the letter j in the ass by my alpha boyfriend

>>691770248
>Ive jerked men with my bare hands faggot
Ftfy

>>691781278
cont..


the funny part is my english students call me mr. bets

>be me
>be 17 3 years ago
>spanishproject.jpg
>had to design an invention to benefit environment.
>mfw no Spanish.
>Finish project, but forgot to write out pitch entirely
>had to improvise
>started out with English because me = autistic as fuck
>Autistic Chad (they exist) points that out
>"How about you speak in Spanish?"
>Iamdonewiththisshit.jpg
>Immediately say, "How about I kick your ass?"
>Not a single pussy in a 60 foot radius is dry
>Autistic Chad backs off
>Class is over
>Be super paranoid about Chad
>Look over my shoulder every 10 seconds
>here'schad.mp4
>he reaches his arm to grab my shoulder
>no time to think
>left hook to Chad's jaw
>gets knocked down

Suspension was a week, but the glory will live on forever.

>>691771718
props to that, gj

>went to the store
>get some food and alcohol
>go up register
>look cashier in the eyes without looking away
>pay for my stuff
>leave
wew lad

>>691771605
first alpha af post in whole thread

>>691781742
brent is that you
u still owe me detention

>>691781742
worth. The day anon made bitches wet.

>>691781949
true alpha male

>>691768567
Walking to bike racks because couldn't drive to school yet
>Angry senior grabs my bag and punches me three times in the face
>Tech guy sees through window
>tech guy runs outside, picks the senior up and suplexes him
>tech guy asks if im okay and walks back into his office
>stand there for a solid minute
>turn around and get my bike and leave
>Tech guy is legit
>Tech was never fired
>All the bystanders and the senior just completely ignored him
>Senior didn't bully for the rest of his year.

TL:DR Tech guy is pro wrestler

>>691768910
>atheism
>social life
pick one

>>691772615
Kek

>>691770000
The female lacked stamina, I agree alpha right here.

>>691769524
>I've had sex around 7 times
>I'm 18

That has to be some sort of world record m8

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>>691783782
you've never been to a nightclub have you

>>691770203
Checked and kekked

>>691769307
Lost my shit

>>691768567
S U M M E R
U
M
M
E
R

>be 22
>3 years in serious relationship
>gf gets drunk in a party
>kissing someone else out of nowhere
>approached and said "goodbye"
>bitch runs desperate and crying after me
>went home alone
>not a single tear ever
>she asked for forgiveness
>never forgive, never forget
>shared her nudes wearing an Alliance tshirt
>she begged to talk to me
>gave her hope so I could fuck her at a common friend party
>she missed me pretty bad
>wanted me to suck her
>nfw i would suck her skank pussy
>fucked her in the ass for the first time, she wasn't in position to refuse
>she cried of pain
>came on her face
>we finished shower and went to a bed
>she wanted to cuddle
>I sighed, grabbed a cigarette and left for a smoke, and bailed
>banged the chick she hated most while she used an Horde tshirt
>emailed her the pictures
>she started with polyamory crap
>used this seduce her back along with her best friend 3/10
>managed to make them very excited about a threesome (original plan was fucking her friend only and left her to mostly watch, but she was too ugly)
>so we set this up at a party
>showed up with new gf.

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Gf broke up with me and I didn't post about it on /b/

>>691769307
Kek

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Fingered her until she came while we were dancing in packed night club. Made her suck her own juices from my fingers after I finished her.

>>691774610
Not my armpits, they smell like dirty onions.

>>691776427
>alpha confirmed

>>691785573
Damn that's hot

>>691773279
this didn't happen

>>691774370
>Halo 5
>GF
pick one m8