Post things that girls have said to you during sex:
> "your balls are slapping my clit!"
make your pink eel spit in my moist love cave
seed my love gutter
puncture my womb with your ball snot
I think that it's time for a feels thread
1. Kiss me where it smells funny!
2. My clit is broken so you will have to really pound it home.
Two different skinny bitches with face tattoos... Moral of the story is I will still fuck girls with face tattoos..
"your dick is like a tree stump, it's splitting me in half"
>I don't know if that was a compliment or not
Hahahaha yup. Literally no fucks given though
My japanese/spanish girlfriend.
I still love her secretly.
"no daddy.. please stop sneaking into my bedroom and touching me on my no no place!"
not even joking. barely knew the slut.
Idk it's hard to hear through all that duct tape
"your dick is aesthetically pleasing, I love sucking it"
I've done this too with a chubby chick. She didn't say anything but she did grab my hand and move it to her tit...hahaha
"Fuck me like you would fuck a boy"
"Fuck me like you would fuck your sister"
"Fuck me like you would fuck your mother"
"Fuck me like you would fuck our daughter"
And so on, and so on, and so on. Girl was seriously into roleplay.
>in bed with my gf of 3 yrs
>bout to get funky
>love this bitch
>ask her to speak dirty to me
>"ohh yeah anon. I'm a bad little girl"
>"Tell me what you want me to do."
>"Well imma need about tree-fiddy"
That's when I looked up and realized it was a three story serpent from the crustacous period.
>darn lockness monster tricked me again.
My favorite was "your cock is like everest" as she was climbing on top of me.
One time as i was pounding her from behind she screamed "This is the best cock ive ever had" and then she pushed herself off of me and started to convulse like she was having a stroke or something. I thought it was so hot that i blew my load all over her. She couldnt feel her hands and feet for like 5 minutes. Shit was crazy. I miss that skank. She was nuts and I later found out she cheated on me a lot, but fuck I loved that pussy.
>Best cock I ever had
Sounds like she lied to you(obviously), and over acted when she faked cumming for your pathetic Manlet cock that couldn't please her, cuz she was kind enough to not want to hurt your fragile Manley ego
>you're too big
>wait, stop for a second
>I think I'm bleeding
>ow, don't do that
>I have a son in college, you know
>oh you're big, yeah!
Saw an anon in one of these threads talking about how he met a broad on FetLife, and paid her to be a Fluffy pony sex slave for the night. He had furry costumes and everything, even had her talk like one too.
>"Wowstest poopie place huwties"
Fuck, my sides were in orbit.
I was young and a woman had been wanting me to come bang her, but kept putting it off and putting it off. I ended up staying up all night and not getting any sleep. Right as I call her up to cancel and tell her I was going to sleep, she asks me to come to a hotel and fuck her. So I get there and it's pretty obvious by the state of the room that I'm not the first guy who has been there. But I drove 45 minutes, so I'm not about to just leave without a fuck.
So we start fucking, and she cums and then wants to take a break, but doesn't want to do anything for me. At this point, I'm real fucking annoyed. When she decides she's ready for round two, I start hitting it from behind. She keeps slipping down cause evidently she's too lazy to hold herself up and I've just had it. So she flops onto her stomach and I decided enough was enough, and slip it in her ass and just start fucking. She tenses up and tries to get up so I just lay down on top of her and keep fucking her ass. Cue the best exchange ever:
Her: "Uh, you're, uh...you're fucking me in the ass."
Me: "Yup, I know. Thanks, you're the best."
Her: "But I..."
Me: "Seriously, it's great, glad you're making my trip out here was actually worth it now."
She shuts up and silently lets me fuck her in the ass for another 10 minutes.
>Don't put it there, you moron!
>HAHAHA, dude, you're a dumbass.
>THIS is how you do it.
>Looking at you, my kids might as well bark.
>If you do that again I'm gonna punch your stupid eyes out, retard
And plenty of shit like that. I love that girl.
bet that made father's day very awkward.
is no one gonna check these trips?
>mmm you feel amazing, fuck me daddy!
Burst out laughing, upset her, and had a sad wank in the bathroom before leaving. She thought that shit was sexy and appropriate for a one night stand
> stop touching me there, it feels weird
Later learned that weird feeling was an orgasm approaching, the stupid repressed cow. It blew my mind that she'd never explored her own body and given herself an orgasm
This one girl that I fucked hard, she said.
You're so big and your cock is so hard, me so horny fuck my long time.
I grabbed her tits, you know when you grab a girls breast and it's like a bag of sand?
And she was just a nasty freak like sex all the time.
>Me so horny she would say
Keep in mind her tits grew to the fuck
Takes my cock out of her mouth and starts stroking it, looks me in the eyes and said,
"Good, cause I want it."
Proceeds to deep throat me until I cum in her mouth, shallows it all.
First time I had oral too.
You have a beautiful cock. (The mother of a girl in my school)
You have a fair cock (the slightest chick I ever met, demurring about anal)
I can feel you getting bigger. You're about to cum! (Ex wife)
I can't cum any more, I'm numb. (Slutty chick again)
Is that it? Chick whose mom thought my cock was beautiful)
Where? (When I wanted slutty chick to use both hands for handjob)
Not so hard!
Btw, my cock is only about 5.5 in.
You're going like the Duracel bunny
To be fair, balls slapping the clit feels awesome.
Things men have said to me during sex:
>"What if I got you pregnant?"
>"If I came inside you, the baby would be a ball of light." (At this point I asked him to stop, he shushed me and said let me finish) "When it's born it will glow and float up to heaven."
>Wait.. stop.. I think my vagina is broken
>First time w/ a woman
another time (same person), she thought i was full mast while we were fucking. had bad drunk/coke dick so i was actually semi the whole time. I freaked her out by bending my dick (which she thought was hard) in half
Third chick that day, wouldn't let me cum, begged me to stay, paid me $50 to stay, and I left.
Had me fist her in the basement of a church at midnight, then told her pastor.
I told her I had become impotent. She wrote me for 7 years. I think she thinks she's still a virgin.
It's been 30 years now. She was 15.
Last GF had been raped. She liked when I would treat her like shit. Talked to her porno style. You like that you fucking whore, take this cock you fucking slut etc. Loved it when I slapped her around but nothing too rough. Hit her in the mouth with the dick in one hand and medium slaps with the other hand. Suck it like a good bitch or its going in your ass type of shit. She would only call me daddy. Bitch was seriously damaged goods but great fuck.
Obviously, most of these are complete and utter bullshit. So here's a fun one from a female friend of mine. She was going to devirginize her new boyfriend. He's on top of her and breathing really hard and she says this.
Her: "Is it in yet?"
Him: "Actually, I just finished...."
Kind of a doubly whammy. They broke up a few minutes later.
"I didn't say you could put that there" - the words of a woman so obese I accidentally stuck it in her ass because it would have taken a 6 man caving expedition to get light to her pussy.
Yes I am ashamed of fucking a morbidly obese 50+ cow, but she was the only one I could find who wanted to blow me in a crowded theater.