What's your last text from a person of the opposite sex say?

Are you coming home at all today?

>>652061385
"Im cramping horribly and I need the cuddles."

> relationships are kinda gay man.

>>652062355
they are

>>652061385
"I love you toooooo <3"

Thanks, Mom

Thank you for spending your weekend with me.

""

>none

"Ok... I'll stop bothering you now..."

>Good... I just wanna watch the game

>>652061385
"Ya it was fun! Went to Denny's again for lunch and scored another free meal haha"

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"Goodnight, I love you Anon"

I'm so luky.

"I'm pretty sure this violates your restraining order."

"hey, i just wanted to say that i hope you're taking good care of yourself, Donna, and the kids. try not to stress too much. take care little bro, love you"

love you too former best friend :(

>>652061385
I'm at Victoria Secret with my little sister should we get matching thongs?
>from gf 20
>sister's 13
>not posting wins

>>652037242
"Wait, did you just say you didnt care if I died? "

My gf

>>652061385
And that's why I don't do acid

"Why aren't you answering my calls???"

it's actually a lot more rambling with extra drama but that's the ist of it.

>>652063020
Thats shit

>>652062355
>2015
>Not realising you're a closet fag whose gf is actually their bestfriend and both in denial about their sexuality.

>>652062883
Kek.

>>652061385
What is it then?

>I proceeded to tell her off. We haven't talked since, and I pray to god we never do again.

>>652062481
/thread

>>652061385
"you'll see how aggressive i can be when i get home and destroy your ass with my fist"

"Ayeee"

that's it

Love ya Daddy

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3

From my girlfriend letting her know I was on my way home from doing shopping.

I'm thinking about you. I want you right now.

"I love you.."

Great, see ya soon

>>652062967
This could be going somewhere

"also I'm sure that I'll still be awake when you get back, if you could come up that would be nice. I'm not going to be able to sleep with all this on my mind"

Whats is like when your best friend has anxiety

>>652063799
I had a good time. I don't get to see my mother all that much anymore.

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save me summa dat

What tge fuck

>>652061385
no , but you can for harrassment

>>652061385
>"your friend anon is soooo hot"

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>>652061385
"Thank you so much honey. I do feel a lot better just talking to you."

"I love you to pieces. Got kind of tipsy tonight. Crashing with my little sister. I think you explain made my night though. Even though I only spoke to you for like 2 minutes while you had a full conversation with this girl lol. Looking forward to talking to you sunshine. "

>>652061385
''Hemmelig'' translates to ''Its secret''

A girl wanted me to send a snapchat of my hand with flash on. Any ideas why?

Me:whats up
Him:Playing fallout babe.
Well. At least he responded.

So, bout your shirt

Was bulbasaur like.. A black guy?

>>652061385
lol the last message i got was on snapchat that says "you want to hook up?"
and the last text I got says "you look cute"

damn it feels good to be a gangster

>>652063397
How so?

We should hang out sometime this week if you're not too busy

You couldn't rape me; I'm too strong!

With snowballs

>You probably don't want to hear it but I wish you were here with me .

Older woman I was sleeping with for a while but had to get rid of because I realized she thought we were dating or something. Now she texts me this shit like every other day.

>>652061385
>love you
thanks mom

Right below my mom though is a girl saying "Sounds great"

"lol nothing you just text a fucking lot"

>Great!! Fucking love your arguments!! I'm such a normie because I don't suck 4chan's dick!!!! I use xD unironically!!!!!! xDxDxDxDxD

You prick. Did you fuck my sister a day after we broke up? How could you do this to me. I hope you die.

You too *kisses and hearts etc.*

>>652061385

"I think around 11:30ish. I just got home and I'm staying at Jame's place for tonight. I'll see you tomorrow!"

"Hmm okay. Well it would be awesome if you could, and you can use us for any of your photography projects ;)"
>nice

Would post stuff......but no one texts me.

I want you more than anything in the world

Ew babe

I need a nap. That was as of 5 seconds ago.

>implying I ever got a text from a girl other than my sister

>>652061385
Blue.

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"I made a table top"

Simply riveting, so exciting, I just do not give a shit.

>I would be okay with dying so eh

Who will sell me a five sack?

Im short and to nice, chicks dont like me they like weed and only hit me up because sometimes im on deck

>>652063020
"no i said 'no one' would care if you died"

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.

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I'm wearing the Dino pants. Context be damned.

I seriously haven't had had a text or snap from a female in months

>>652061385
>depends if you like me enough to let me touch your bum

"I love you, too"

Gnight!

Please dont kill yourself

I'm still freaking out

Yeah once there's a free house or something ️

"this made me think of you"
Then she sent some gay "deep thinking" quote picture

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"Fuck you"

In Paris, at a conjtq5(99393-1q-1-3-3(I@$

>>652062967
Don't lie, tell us your sister is 18 and post nudes.

>>652061385
please let my daughter go!

this is her father my daughter is only 14 years old don't text this fucking number again or i'm going to the police

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>>652065456
Sweetest revenge possible!

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>>652069688
edgy nigger, checked 88

"Dees"

"I wish we could've hung out you seem really sweet and really funny but Idk you probably wouldn't like me that much. I'm annoying and require way too much attention than i probably deserve."

>>652069688
there goes my coffee you motherfucker

I forgot to bring home my souvenir cup, tho, and I'm pissed about that.

"just give me another chance! I know you'll fall in love with me I'm one of a kind" bla bla etc. Bitch doesn't understand the concept of a fucking one night stand.

>>34924583
I miss you

>>652066957
>"I'm short"
>blaming the way girls treat you on height

I just want to fuck you again, leave your bf for me.

"yeah its bad, you probably have an addictive personality. seriously do not drink alone again. fucking promise me."

>Hi

>>652063791
from: No one
Too soon man

Nothing?

>>652061385
okayokay, just dont forget to talk to me, mr. busy
its like you never got time for me anymore!
mom

Honey before you come home, can you stop and pick up some maxi pads for me and the girls.

"This is going to be a bad week for me"

>>652072777
"I don't know what to think of you"

Her: Thank you for being honest and clearing that up.
Me: You're welcome.

>>652064856
>hook up
>cute

underage ban

She's 15......fifteen dude.
I can't make your choices but i need tyou to know, you shouldn't.
(we're talkin about this girl who wants to be in a relationship with me...and i'm 20)

“Hey baby my car broke down close to James house, you don't have to come pick me up I'll just spend the night with him he has a spare bedroom, love you I'll txt you in the morning."

"Goodnight. I love you." - gf

>>652074685
Yea, don't do it m8

>>652074904
James is fucking your bitch.
Go pick her up or get cucked

>>652074872
britbong faggot detected

sooo senpai, where do you cum? .//-//.

>>652075200
She said he's a gay co-worker so it's fine, I trust her.

>>652075339
Hahahahaha! This is a ylyl thread right?

"Thermochem test tomorrow *dies*"

>>652075200
b8 b8 b8 b8 b8 b8 b8 b8 b8 b8 b8 b8 b8 b8 b8 b8

>>652061385
'That's the entire day pretty summed up'

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>>652075339
You better listen to my dubs

Okiedokie

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''Hi daniel i'm dying to be with you. I try to forget all those things but i can't''

>She's ugly and fat
>I was horny and took her virginty
>she wants to come over again

I felt like shit after fucking her, that was the first time i fucked an ugly chick, i felt like i had just been raped.

"I'm still in bed, sick. Cant you come here instead?"
Currently dating

>>652075464>>652075643
You guys don't know her like I do, when you finally find love you'll understand that this whole cuck thing is just a meme.

>TY sweetie
from this milf I've been seeing.

"Can you grab some tampons from Coles on your way home, I'm leaking like a sieve."

I wish she'd say things that didn't make me gag

>>652061385
"we will be having a surprise party for Joe"
or
"okay sounds good to me"

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>>652076316
>Implying we haven't found love

my last message from gf

>>652061385
>I'm off to Sarah's house I'll see you later

From my girlfriend before she goes to her ex's house to fuck him

Oh FFS

>>652061385
thanks for the wonderfull weekend.
enjoy your evening, good night and sleep well.
i love you.

>"I feel like you know me and how I work best. Your opinion really matters to me, and I'm still on the fence. I wanted to see if you had anything to add I hadn't thought of."

My ex, about taking a job offer, 10 min. ago.

>>652061385
>Dropped wallet in her car
>"Bitch better have my money"

"Bitch have your money"

>"memes are funni"
>tfw she wants my memes
>tfw she's basically addicted to my memes now

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"I'm sorry, i just don't love you anymore. Hopefully we can still remain friends. Pease don't disappear."

>tfw 1 year has passed

I got my dick stuck in a toaster.

'Twas a picture, but alas for you I am lazy.

It was a picture of her Pandora. She was listening to 'Time is Running Out' by Muse, which she knows is our song. She recently broke my heart though.

Then again, I nicknamed her 'Poopy', and it's stuck, so I guess we're even. :D

about 12 probably

"K"

>>652078518
I've been there before and that sucks dude.

mhm

that's it.

>>652078186

Wh... What is that?

"Got an amazing bf, got rid of a bad friend, working all the time, paying bills lol the same everyday!"


she sucked my cock, she's fucking insane tho

>>652061385
that's right you are fine as hell wink emoji, wink emoji wink emoji

>>652061385
Omg my eyes are so puffy. Qq

>>652061385
"Yes they are."

>>652068847
you're that fucking guy

>>652062355
I feel you bro.

"It's so cold. My boobsss"

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>>652078815

okay!!

"I believe that"

I replied and she never saw it.

That's a good deal

"En dankjewel"
Thanks in dutch

>ok lol

pretty normal

you coming in tomorrow?

ive been sick for a week

"Thank you so much!"
>Lent ex-gf/best friend $20

it is in Norwegian so i have to translate it: "I think it's a bit hard to drink up the entire Atlantic sea... "

"Is your WIFI working? xx"

>>652064566
she probably thinks your hand size correlates to your dick size

better get a nice and close shot, anon

>>652061385
"You're welcome hahahahahahhaha"

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>>652079716
>Atlantic sea
>sea
OI HELVETE!

>friend who works at a starbucks in reference to me asking her if she could make me an "orange mocha frappuccino"
"It is a meme. Due to a new ingredient, I can make it (10+ years late)"

>>652061385
I love you too, goodnight xxx

>>652079920
Hold your hand out at arms length and do a mirrored selfie. Huge hand ! She becomes a quivering mass of jelly/

Pic of u in bra?

>>652080107
fugg, alle vet at Atlanterhavet er en liten sjø.
HELVETE

"Hey how are you? Been a while since we last spoke! ahah"

Bitch aint my fault you ignore my texts

Naaaaaaah. My uploads are almost done, so I'll talk to you when I'm done resetting my phone.

>Yeah one of our IT guys lives in France

"Anon!"
Yeah, she was saying hi. It's the only text she's ever sent me, incidentally.

"And don't die please"