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My school has a serial shitter in it. Someone has been going

The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

Thread replies: 191
Thread images: 44

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My school has a serial shitter in it. Someone has been going around smearing shit swastikas on the bathroom walls.

How do I catch the serial shitter /b/??

Pic related
>>
>>612483965
Smell the fingers of every single person in the school.
The smell of shit is impossible to completely eliminate.
>>
>>612483965
>My school has a serial shitter in it. Someone has been going around smearing shit swastikas on the bathroom walls.
Is it you OP?
>>
>>612483965
Turn yourself in.
>>
>>612484651
I may be a shitskin but I'm no serial shitter
>>
>>612484256
>Smear shit on door handles
>Everyone's hands now smell like shit

Nigga, does this guy look amateur to you?
>>
>>612483965
If they're us g their fingers, there's finger prints.

Also, spy cam
>>
>>612485052
Our principal already had part of the rugby team stand guard near the washroom where this happened.
>>
What you do is you leave a pile of shit on the bathroom floor. Then you stake it out. He won't be able to stop himself from smearing it on the wall
>>
I remember back in high school we had a guy that shit in like five different seats in one of the classrooms. No one ever really looks at a chair before they sit in it. They just pull it out from under the desk and sit down.

Every chair he shat in was sat in. And every one of them literally cried. Some vomited. It was fucking hilarious.
>>
Why haven't you joined forces with him yet ?
>>
>>612485611
I don't know who it is, but if i did i would give him major kudos, this person has some balls, did it right in the middle of lunch.
>>
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>>612485595
>shat in was sat in
>>
>>612485343
What third world country do you live in OP?
>>
>>612485392
This. Maybe put some sort of sensor in it to drop a net on top of him when he does it.
>>
>>612485867
Canada
>>
>>612483965
My school was the home of the famous poop bandit
You cannot do anything until the authorities get involved
>>
>>612484973
Fucking brilliant
>>
>>612485343
Yeah but the guy who's doing it won't do it with people hanging around.
>>
Smell everyones hands if its that important to you. If it smells its them, if it smells like fresh soap after the crime its probly them
>>
>>612485838
I'm so glad I worded it that way.
>>
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>>612485922
check'd
>>
I once shit in every single urinal on an entire floor. Shit and pinch, move on, shit and pinch. Best fucking day of my life.
>>
You should also start smearing shit swastikas on the wall
>>
>>612485343
It's obviously the principal doing it.
>>
>>612486057
What if he does this and just finds out that nearly everyone in his school is into butt stuff?
>>
>>612486011
This motherfucker did this at lunch time when literally EVERYONE is around
>>
>>612486413
He's a fucking shit ninja. Don't fuck with that dude.
>>
>>612485922
Ottawa?
>>
>>612486133
nice
>>
>>612486680
You know it. Where else is fucked up enough for this to happen.
>>
>>612486561
My brother died that way...

RIP IN PEACE LUV U TREV
>>
try searching the trap threads im sure hes there
>>
>>612486272
Our principal is like a 60 some year old woman, I don't think shed have the stealth needed for a job like this.
>>
>>612483965
THE POOPING BANDIT'S RETURN
>>
>>612487137
Least likely candidate. The perfect storm...Of shitting on walls.
>>
>>612483965
>Goes to the bathroom
>Shits and picks up his own shit
>smears it on the wall
>posts to /b/

I think I know how you can catch the serial shitter
>>
>>612483965
Man you anticipate when the shitter takes his move again, be prepared, with your feet on the black seat, to cam his face up. No need to get dirty.
>>
>>612485922
Your principal probably realizes that he can't actually have the rugby team pulling day shit shift to catch a wanted shitter, right? Since this is stupid you might as well take it to the next level OP.

Here's what you do:

>buy batman costume
>dress up as batman during lunch and hide in men's / boy's bathroom
>wait until someone comes in alone
>sucker punch them from behind and then slam them into a wall
>yell at them that you need to know where the shit Joker is
>Knock him out when he doesn't tell you shit
>Rinse and repeat until you catch him
>tie him up in bathroom and leave a note for the Rugby team so that the kid can be put in detention
>keep referring to Coach Commissioner Gordon of the Rugby team
>Be the hero your school deserves, but not the one it needs right now
>They'll hunt you.
>But you can take it.
>Because you're not a hero.
>You're a silent guardian.
>A watchful protector.
>A shitty Dark Knight.
>>
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Probably these guys
>>
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>>612483965
Might I add that our principal thinks this is 3-5 people so it might not be a serial shitter...we might have the poo man group.
>>
>>612483965
Sneak into girls bathroom, leave behind shit swastika. Get all friends in on it. Bomb school with shit swastika everywhere you can. Gym, library, computer lab, teachers break room... Just everywhere
>>
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>>612487547
>>
>>612487277
most likely explanation
>>
Get a large group of friends.
At least 1 must be in the bathroom at all times and check the stall after every use.
>>
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>>612487547
>poo man group.
>>
>>612487547
THIS THREAD IS FUCKING GOLD!

>poo man group
>>
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>>612487448
Oh lord the keks.
>>
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If he's a shit smearer that means he's not all together in the head. Meaning he might browse /b/ or some other board (let's hope he hasn't seen this thread) and then you OP start boards on scat and shit smearing. Ask for advice, experiences, tips&tricks, and who knows maybe this guy is proud of his work and would gladly share some insight. Once you become a shit smearer you'll be able to find this ninja
>>
>>612483965
Guess they're drawing
>Swashitters :D
>>
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>>612483965
>mfw OP is actually the shit bandit
>>
>>612487547
It's a shitspiracy. This movement is much bigger than you OP.

You can go to bowels of hell but you'll never find the culprit. It's the illpoominati.
>>
>>612488152
No
>>
>>612487547
You have a Shiterrorist cell hiding in your school.
>>
Merivale High School /b/

http://www.merivalehs.ocdsb.ca/

What do?
>>
>>612487448
best
>>
>>612483965
back in the day, there was an autist in my school who'd shit in the middle of the hallway every time a bell rang

[spoiler]teachers called him the "mad shitter"[/spoiler]
>>
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>>612487448
This is one of those days /b/ is slightly less gay.
>>
>>612488152
you would've been better off with shatstikas.
>>
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>>612488431
>>
>>612488535
You would've been better off aborted
>>
I guess this didn't do much
It's a health video from OP's school

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=163z6AN-Sy8
>>
This reminds me of the poo bandit
>>
To catch the serial shitter you yourself must become a serial shitter
>>
>>612485343
>it was the rugby team all along
>>
This is some Scooby-Doo type shit we're dealing with here folks
>>
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>>612488797
>>
Is this...The poo bandit making a comeback?
>>
>>612483965
kek
It's you, OP.
Your inner Nazi comes out every time he smells shit. Inner Nazis are attracted by shit. Thus, the shit swastika.
Jesus.
You're disgusting, OP
>>
>>612483965
OP here, we've already made wanted posters
>>
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>>612487547
>>
>>612487547
This is the work of the Schei├čeSmearer, only the SS have the means to pull off such audacious smear campaigns
>>
>>612488220
>the bowels of hell
>>
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>MFW I'm now inspired to serial shit around my small town for the lulz
>>
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>>612487448
nice.
>>
>>612487448
>>612487547

Of course it's a gang. Did you really think the shit Joker didn't hire goons to do shit for him? It's no surprise either if some of the rugby team are in on it. Dirty players, taking a piece of the action for themselves instead of keeping the hallways and bathrooms safe. God, what happened to this school? It's a madhouse now, and the shit Joker is the one running it. But that's where you come in OP. That's where you step up and say no more to the shit gangs and the corrupt shitty Rugby players and to all the other shit smeared around your school. You will be the one they fear. When the goon is going to drop his pants in a stall and think about taking that huge dookie out to paint the walls he'll hesitate and stop and go about his way, because he's afraid. That is fear. That is you: the shitty Dark Knight.
>>
>>612483965
*parkvale
>>
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>>612489059
>>
that's really close to my home....
weird
>>
>>612484973
+1
>>
>smears shit on the wall
>draws swastika

MFW Shitler
>>
613
>>
>>612490309
fuck off back to reddit with your faggot ass "+1"
>>
poop bandit lives again
>>
The best course of action to take is to become a copycat serial shitter. By mimicking the actions of the serial shitter, he will become angry at you destroying his life's work and will either make himself known to you (most likely using some sort of cryptic shit lingo), or make himself known to school authorities as a result of the inclined preasure from the vast increase in the number of shit smearings taking place.
>>
hard `to `believe we cant `find `people when `they leave `their poo `dna `around
>>
>>612490576
Nigga this is a fucking high school not a forensics lab
>>
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>>612487547
>mfw
>>
>>612489285
Kek underrated post
>>
>>612487448
Might as well do this OP. Someone is already smearing shit swastika's all over your school. It's your invitation to one up the efforts.
>>
>>612490576
But in order to compare poop DNA, you would have to take a poop sample from every student in the school.
>>
>>612489063
I lol'd HARD! When did this happen? How did i miss this?
>>
>>612491442
>Dates on posts

Faget
>>
>>612491442
Didn't happen during summer
>>
>>612485891
Do we look like the fucking team rocket to you?
>>
>>612489063
MOAR
>>
>>612491429
>2015
>Not having a fecal database in your high school's high-tech forensics laboratory.
>>
This is a shitty thread
>>
>>612490457

>posts facebook may may.

ebin, just ebin
>>
>>612488740
hory shet that one tingled my nostril hair
>>
>>612491699
>Prepare for trouble
>This post is doubles

Check em'
>>
>>612492380
Dammit.
>>
>>612491684
while on the subject of summerfags... Who actually spends their summers on /b/? I only ever come here while at school to kill time
>>
This reminds me of the pooping bandit
>>
>>612491699
OP here, there's a hunting store down the road...do I buy some bear traps for this??
>>
>>612483965
You can't stop the phantom shitter.
>>
>>612485954
Fucking LOVED the tales of the pooping bandit. Theres a reading of it on utub.
wish I was there.
>>
>>612492674
You don't have to go that far. Shitler did nothing wrong.
>>
I flip my balls over my penis when I poop so I don't get urine or feces on them.
>>
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My deductive skillz is of no use her....
Shitlock Holmes out
>>
We had a serial shitter once.
It was actually only one bathroom multiple times.
Here's the catch; the bathroom was like two doors down from the retard room, and our principle automatically blamed it on the school fuck head and suspended him for a month.
>>
>>612492674
You MUST have an idea of who that kid is. In which bathroom was it? Also, this kid must be a semi-loner (who has between one or two friends tops), he must be a bit shorter than average, glasses, male, white, somewhat skinny, maybe some distinguishable facial feature (i.e; jew nose, etc). You must know who I'm talking about by this point
>>
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>>612486144

dubs
>>
I hope you get to the bottom of it, OP.

>get it?
>bottom.
>>
>>612492380
I never asked for this
thanks for the love though
>>
>>612493700
TEAM ROCKET DOUBLES AGAIN
>>
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>>612493540
>>
>>612493811
AND AGAIN
>>
>>612487448
I wish I could kiss you
>>
>>612493412
I love this guy, I just can't ever remember his name.

What is it?
>>
take it over, black boy.
>>
>>612493811
SURRENDER NOW OR PREPARE FOR DUBS
>>
>irl shitposting
>>
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maby someone is trying to summon the golgothan
>>
>>612493946
holy egg breakfast cucumber harvest yield
>>
>>612493946
cumberpatch?
>>
hey /b/ how do i avoid getting caught
i shat and drew swastikas
>>
>>612494301
That's it. It was on the tip of my tongue.

I kept thinking benefactor candlesnatch
>>
>>612493532
I have absolutely no clue who it was, to be fair we had some kids stomp a massive swastika in the snow out on our soccer field for the luls so really there's more than just a couple kids thatd do something like this.
>>
>>612491883
But what if he were using someone else's shit?
>>
>>612486680
>>612486787

lol ya'll niggas go to the same school?
>>
Show the picture to /fit/.

Maybe they can tell you what kind of diet he was on and you could narrow it down that way.
>>
>>612494860
You're right.

The perfect crime.
>>
>>612488832
underrated
>>
>>612490352
this
>>
My friend smeared shit all over the walls in school before and I stuck a picture of a student I had found in the halls earlier that day to the wall with poo.
it looked like some sort of twisted shrine
>>
>>612487547
>poo man group
>>612487448
>Shitty Dark Knight

Today /b/ isn't full of faggots
>>
>>612486680
Lol the merivale high school in Ottawa is where all the kids that fail out of normal high school go to get a credit. Its full of niggers and drug addicts
>>
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>>612494983
>>
Winwood?
>>
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>>612487448
You deserve all my internets sir
>>
>>612495554
No you're thinking about Pius, we have those problems but they usually just shit up the foyer of our school, theres not enough of them to be a real problem.
>>
>>612495554
That's Winwood down the street, we ship all of ours there
>>
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tales of the pooping bandit
>>
>>612496015
I have like 3 buddies that go to winwood, they tell me that the entire course is just finishing a booklet and handing it in.
>>
>>612483965
Shitler?
>>
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i bet it was this guy
>>
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>>612495904
Yeah my school has a slight nigger/drug/cigarette problem too, some juggalo kid punched a hole through one of those wired windows today
>>
>>612496015
>>612495904
you guys have a lot of those containment facilities? and you wonder why you get shit-nazi-jokers in there? you're creating nazi scat arkhams you fools
>>
>>612496545
kek
>>
>>612495904
I didn't know Pius was a nigger training camp too
>>
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>>612496655
>those double dubs
>>
Start doing the same thing and eventually they will get tired of doing the mainstream stuff and kill themselves then you will become the one and only serial shitter.
>>
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My school had a mad crapper as well. I shall share the tale of harrowing encounter with him and how I tamed him.

>>Be me in high school
>>School has been terrorized by the Mad Crapper
>>He shits in sinks and urinals everywhere in both sex's bathrooms and draws dicks on the walls with his shit
>>His stealth is unmatched, no one has any clues who he is
>>Go to use restroom
>>Open the door and catch the Mad Crapper in the act of filling a sink with putrid leavings
>>Recognize him as he is in one of my classes
>>Stare at each other for a moment and a smile creeps across my face
>>I say to him, "Sam, you are now my minion. Continue your reign of terror, but be ready if I ever have need of your services. Deny me and your secret is out."
>>Sam the Crapper realizes the jig is not up and agrees to it and offers to shake on it.
>>I don't touch his filth covered hands

Six months later

>>Douchebag McFuckov gets a new car
>>His assigned spot in the lot is next to mine
>>He always parks fucked up making it hard for me to park
>>Finally had enough of his shit when he double parks and I have no room to park.
>>I call upon the Mad Crapper to enact my revenge
>>I expected a turd left on hood of his car in the next day or so
>>The Mad Crapper exceeds my expectations
>>He turned Douchebag's Blue Car brown
>>Somehow gets shit into the car's vents
>>Douchebag had to get rid of the car
>>I was never suspected as I was in the same class as Douchebag when it happened
>>I leave a note in the Mad Crapper's Locker saying I am pleased with his work
>>I called on him three more times before I graduated, he never failed to impress

20 years later

>>Go to class reunion
>>See Douchebag McFuckov
>>Start chatting and ask if they ever caught the Mad Crapper
>>Douchebag loses his shit all over again
>>Someone else mentions they think they know who the Mad Crapper was
>>Douchebag swears he will kick his ass over it
>>mfw they were totally wrong
>>
>>612492613
i havent gone outside in three years so yes i spend my summer on /b
>>
>>612486144

You really set your sights low, don't you.
>>
> Go on kinky sex forums
> Talk to people who spy on females in bathrooms with cameras
> Ask them how it's done
>>
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>>612497668
>>
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>>612483965
>serial shitter
>>
draw star of david with jizz, and stay put for crapper revenge
>>
>>612498258
>Implying jizz doesn't dry up and disappear
>>
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>>612497533
Noice.
>>
>>612497533
more please, i'm your humble listener oh voice of shithis
>>
>>612490557
That's evil bro. Why destroy a man's shitty dreams? :(
>>
this is a good thread, thanks OP
you still a faggot but
>>
>hang around outside or near bathroom entrance
> watch who goes in and check the walls every now and then
>you now have rough idea of who swastashit man is
>next day.JPEG
>repeat. You have now narrowed it down
>if its lots of different bathrooms, this will take longer if you don't have help

good luck
>>
>>612484256
uhhh.. soap?
>>
>>612485595
Top kek
>>
Holy fuck this thread is good
>>
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>>612485595
>shat in was sat in
>>
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Don't know if there are any NZfags in here but we had a phantom shitter at the local pool every friday... for a month, about a couple of weeks ago, it was top keks all around. This kind of reminded me of that
>>
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>>
>>612500889
topsnek
>>
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>>612498258
THIS
>>
>>612498619
Have the tale of he second time I called on the Mad Crapper

>>After the car incident the Mad Crapper decided to lay low the last month and a half of that school year
>>Not wanted to be implicated I was fine with that
>>All through summer people wondered if the Mad Crapper would return
>>My Senior year starts and in the first week the Mad Crapper strikes
>>Inwardly I smile knowing that my minion has not retired
>>Forced to partner with a lazy ass bitch in my physics class
>>I am forced to do all the work as my grade would suffer if our project fails
>>Get the project done and passed, but pissed off enough I call upon the Mad Crapper for revenge
>>My message was simply "Get her."
>>The MC follows the Lazy Bitch while she is out on a date.
>>They are at the mall and he pours a Big Gulp sized cup of liquid shit on her and her date
>>Escapes into the crowd unseen
>>I hear of his daring exploit the next Monday at school
>>Again I am pleased with his work

20 years later...
>>Unfortunately Lazy Bitch did not show up to the class reunion so I did not get to stir the pot with her, but everyone remembered the incident.
>>
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>>612498258
Please OP do this. Jews vs nazi shitters!
>>
>>612490557

>copycat serial shitter.

Naaah, he might be glad to have someone help him spread the shit swastika. It's hard work, you know.

What you need to do, to make hum angry, is the OPPOSITE.

Smear some shitty Stars of David and some Hammer and Sickles and other things that he's bound to hate.
>>
>>612497852
thats why OP is here
>>
>>612501647
Shit Star of David
>>
>>612501126
If dubs OP does this
>>
File: 1376883256516.jpg (48KB, 490x490px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
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>>612487448
>>
>>612494860

More likely, dog shit, which is freely and anonymously available.

Actually, all you need to do is look for the guy with worms. The guy scratching his butt all day.
>>
>>612500416
Why the fuck does this image make me laugh so hard?
>>
>>612501949
>implying you need worms for itchy butt
>>
>>612501226
Did anyone ever find out that you were calling the shit-hits?
>>
>>612484973
Lost it too this guy kekles up my rectum
>>
>>612501226
God damn you man.

I was at an awards assembly for my sister and it was dead fucking quiet in there when I read that post. EVERYONE looked at me and I just ran outside.

I love you man, but fuck you.
>>
>>612483965
You contact one previously caught serial shitter and proceed to bargain with him for information about the current one. If you don't get to a point when he calls you from a phone booth in front of the white house, you're good.
>>
>>612502263
Nope. My final shit hits were the weakest ones. I just asked him to hit the junior and senior proms, he did, but it was just a shit in the urinals. I was hoping for a turd in the punchbowl or the like. He did the same thing on both nights, so I was disappointed his work.
>>
I was living in a dorm once. Outside my door was a janitor's cubby with cleaning supplies.

One day it smelt bad. The door was unlocked as usual, so I peered. There was rubbish in it...organic stuff in cans and bags.

Cleaned it out, and it came back, a couple of times. Now let me tell you, O my brothers, the criminal who repeats his crime, is the criminal who gets caught.

I was able to study and write in my room for a few days. So I left a precarious pile of bottles in the cubby, attached to the door with a string.

I wish I could post his face, and the way his brain went blank and he spouted sheer bullshit while standing like a deer in headlights.
>>
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>>612483965
>serial shitter

lost it
Thread posts: 191
Thread images: 44



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