My school has a serial shitter in it. Someone has been going around smearing shit swastikas on the bathroom walls.
How do I catch the serial shitter /b/??
I remember back in high school we had a guy that shit in like five different seats in one of the classrooms. No one ever really looks at a chair before they sit in it. They just pull it out from under the desk and sit down.
Every chair he shat in was sat in. And every one of them literally cried. Some vomited. It was fucking hilarious.
Your principal probably realizes that he can't actually have the rugby team pulling day shit shift to catch a wanted shitter, right? Since this is stupid you might as well take it to the next level OP.
Here's what you do:
>buy batman costume
>dress up as batman during lunch and hide in men's / boy's bathroom
>wait until someone comes in alone
>sucker punch them from behind and then slam them into a wall
>yell at them that you need to know where the shit Joker is
>Knock him out when he doesn't tell you shit
>Rinse and repeat until you catch him
>tie him up in bathroom and leave a note for the Rugby team so that the kid can be put in detention
>keep referring to Coach Commissioner Gordon of the Rugby team
>Be the hero your school deserves, but not the one it needs right now
>They'll hunt you.
>But you can take it.
>Because you're not a hero.
>You're a silent guardian.
>A watchful protector.
>A shitty Dark Knight.
Might I add that our principal thinks this is 3-5 people so it might not be a serial shitter...we might have the poo man group.
Sneak into girls bathroom, leave behind shit swastika. Get all friends in on it. Bomb school with shit swastika everywhere you can. Gym, library, computer lab, teachers break room... Just everywhere
If he's a shit smearer that means he's not all together in the head. Meaning he might browse /b/ or some other board (let's hope he hasn't seen this thread) and then you OP start boards on scat and shit smearing. Ask for advice, experiences, tips&tricks, and who knows maybe this guy is proud of his work and would gladly share some insight. Once you become a shit smearer you'll be able to find this ninja
This is one of those days /b/ is slightly less gay.
OP here, we've already made wanted posters
>MFW I'm now inspired to serial shit around my small town for the lulz
Of course it's a gang. Did you really think the shit Joker didn't hire goons to do shit for him? It's no surprise either if some of the rugby team are in on it. Dirty players, taking a piece of the action for themselves instead of keeping the hallways and bathrooms safe. God, what happened to this school? It's a madhouse now, and the shit Joker is the one running it. But that's where you come in OP. That's where you step up and say no more to the shit gangs and the corrupt shitty Rugby players and to all the other shit smeared around your school. You will be the one they fear. When the goon is going to drop his pants in a stall and think about taking that huge dookie out to paint the walls he'll hesitate and stop and go about his way, because he's afraid. That is fear. That is you: the shitty Dark Knight.
fuck off back to reddit with your faggot ass "+1"
The best course of action to take is to become a copycat serial shitter. By mimicking the actions of the serial shitter, he will become angry at you destroying his life's work and will either make himself known to you (most likely using some sort of cryptic shit lingo), or make himself known to school authorities as a result of the inclined preasure from the vast increase in the number of shit smearings taking place.
I lol'd HARD! When did this happen? How did i miss this?
while on the subject of summerfags... Who actually spends their summers on /b/? I only ever come here while at school to kill time
My deductive skillz is of no use her....
Shitlock Holmes out
We had a serial shitter once.
It was actually only one bathroom multiple times.
Here's the catch; the bathroom was like two doors down from the retard room, and our principle automatically blamed it on the school fuck head and suspended him for a month.
You MUST have an idea of who that kid is. In which bathroom was it? Also, this kid must be a semi-loner (who has between one or two friends tops), he must be a bit shorter than average, glasses, male, white, somewhat skinny, maybe some distinguishable facial feature (i.e; jew nose, etc). You must know who I'm talking about by this point
maby someone is trying to summon the golgothan
I have absolutely no clue who it was, to be fair we had some kids stomp a massive swastika in the snow out on our soccer field for the luls so really there's more than just a couple kids thatd do something like this.
My friend smeared shit all over the walls in school before and I stuck a picture of a student I had found in the halls earlier that day to the wall with poo.
it looked like some sort of twisted shrine
Yeah my school has a slight nigger/drug/cigarette problem too, some juggalo kid punched a hole through one of those wired windows today
My school had a mad crapper as well. I shall share the tale of harrowing encounter with him and how I tamed him.
>>Be me in high school
>>School has been terrorized by the Mad Crapper
>>He shits in sinks and urinals everywhere in both sex's bathrooms and draws dicks on the walls with his shit
>>His stealth is unmatched, no one has any clues who he is
>>Go to use restroom
>>Open the door and catch the Mad Crapper in the act of filling a sink with putrid leavings
>>Recognize him as he is in one of my classes
>>Stare at each other for a moment and a smile creeps across my face
>>I say to him, "Sam, you are now my minion. Continue your reign of terror, but be ready if I ever have need of your services. Deny me and your secret is out."
>>Sam the Crapper realizes the jig is not up and agrees to it and offers to shake on it.
>>I don't touch his filth covered hands
Six months later
>>Douchebag McFuckov gets a new car
>>His assigned spot in the lot is next to mine
>>He always parks fucked up making it hard for me to park
>>Finally had enough of his shit when he double parks and I have no room to park.
>>I call upon the Mad Crapper to enact my revenge
>>I expected a turd left on hood of his car in the next day or so
>>The Mad Crapper exceeds my expectations
>>He turned Douchebag's Blue Car brown
>>Somehow gets shit into the car's vents
>>Douchebag had to get rid of the car
>>I was never suspected as I was in the same class as Douchebag when it happened
>>I leave a note in the Mad Crapper's Locker saying I am pleased with his work
>>I called on him three more times before I graduated, he never failed to impress
20 years later
>>Go to class reunion
>>See Douchebag McFuckov
>>Start chatting and ask if they ever caught the Mad Crapper
>>Douchebag loses his shit all over again
>>Someone else mentions they think they know who the Mad Crapper was
>>Douchebag swears he will kick his ass over it
>>mfw they were totally wrong
>hang around outside or near bathroom entrance
> watch who goes in and check the walls every now and then
>you now have rough idea of who swastashit man is
>repeat. You have now narrowed it down
>if its lots of different bathrooms, this will take longer if you don't have help
Don't know if there are any NZfags in here but we had a phantom shitter at the local pool every friday... for a month, about a couple of weeks ago, it was top keks all around. This kind of reminded me of that
Have the tale of he second time I called on the Mad Crapper
>>After the car incident the Mad Crapper decided to lay low the last month and a half of that school year
>>Not wanted to be implicated I was fine with that
>>All through summer people wondered if the Mad Crapper would return
>>My Senior year starts and in the first week the Mad Crapper strikes
>>Inwardly I smile knowing that my minion has not retired
>>Forced to partner with a lazy ass bitch in my physics class
>>I am forced to do all the work as my grade would suffer if our project fails
>>Get the project done and passed, but pissed off enough I call upon the Mad Crapper for revenge
>>My message was simply "Get her."
>>The MC follows the Lazy Bitch while she is out on a date.
>>They are at the mall and he pours a Big Gulp sized cup of liquid shit on her and her date
>>Escapes into the crowd unseen
>>I hear of his daring exploit the next Monday at school
>>Again I am pleased with his work
20 years later...
>>Unfortunately Lazy Bitch did not show up to the class reunion so I did not get to stir the pot with her, but everyone remembered the incident.
>copycat serial shitter.
Naaah, he might be glad to have someone help him spread the shit swastika. It's hard work, you know.
What you need to do, to make hum angry, is the OPPOSITE.
Smear some shitty Stars of David and some Hammer and Sickles and other things that he's bound to hate.
God damn you man.
I was at an awards assembly for my sister and it was dead fucking quiet in there when I read that post. EVERYONE looked at me and I just ran outside.
I love you man, but fuck you.
You contact one previously caught serial shitter and proceed to bargain with him for information about the current one. If you don't get to a point when he calls you from a phone booth in front of the white house, you're good.
Nope. My final shit hits were the weakest ones. I just asked him to hit the junior and senior proms, he did, but it was just a shit in the urinals. I was hoping for a turd in the punchbowl or the like. He did the same thing on both nights, so I was disappointed his work.
I was living in a dorm once. Outside my door was a janitor's cubby with cleaning supplies.
One day it smelt bad. The door was unlocked as usual, so I peered. There was rubbish in it...organic stuff in cans and bags.
Cleaned it out, and it came back, a couple of times. Now let me tell you, O my brothers, the criminal who repeats his crime, is the criminal who gets caught.
I was able to study and write in my room for a few days. So I left a precarious pile of bottles in the cubby, attached to the door with a string.
I wish I could post his face, and the way his brain went blank and he spouted sheer bullshit while standing like a deer in headlights.