ITT: things your father told you. Son, don't be a

When your sister brings home her first boyfriend, we'll scare him good. I was a kid so I'm sure he cleaned things up a bit.

File: image.jpg (57KB, 500x377px) Image search: [Google]

57KB, 500x377px

You're a worthless piece of shit.

Get out of my house you worthless piece of shit

Lock up the buzzards, a storms coming!
>he was sleep talking

File: 1427332915573.gif (1MB, 290x189px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 290x189px

>>606919363
>>606919110
Sersly.... are you brothers?

take this gun and kill yourself faggot nigger

>>606919363
>>606919110
/b/ros by feels

File: image.jpg (34KB, 512x512px) Image search: [Google]

34KB, 512x512px

>>606919363

File: pls why.gif (495KB, 282x213px) Image search: [Google]

495KB, 282x213px

>>606918597
Take a quick peek, then keep your head down.
Then switch position, and take another quick peek to see if you have an opening to fire.

I was playing sniper in CoD4 or BF2, forgot which.

"She was hot and I was horny that's the only reason you're here"

File: image.jpg (142KB, 770x929px) Image search: [Google]

142KB, 770x929px

>>606918597
You need to get out of your room and get a girlfriend

File: Kunta.jpg (279KB, 1600x1200px) Image search: [Google]

279KB, 1600x1200px

>>606918597
you know why lions lick their assholes son - to get the taste of niggers out of their mouth. MFW he was black

you cant get a girl pregnant in the butt or the mouth

>>606918597

>I hate you.

As he beat me into unconsciousness with a phone book. When I was six. It was a game we used to play.


No wonder I am so fucked up.

Son you're a dick

"Either be good, or be good at it."

Best advice ever.

"Don't do anything I would do."

File: 1343526827828.jpg (67KB, 408x360px) Image search: [Google]

67KB, 408x360px

mfw I grew up fatherless

File: 1420549728609.jpg (16KB, 480x360px) Image search: [Google]

16KB, 480x360px

>>606919999
QUUAAAAADDDSSSS

File: okay.jpg (40KB, 396x422px) Image search: [Google]

40KB, 396x422px

>>606918597
>Das macht alles die Maschine.

>>606918597
" you should be (insert chore/school/general orders here) instead sitting around playing with your dick!"

bite the pillow im going in dry

File: FB_IMG_14252273666940058.jpg (9KB, 200x194px) Image search: [Google]

9KB, 200x194px

" ..... "

File: 1425002074444.jpg (58KB, 540x733px) Image search: [Google]

58KB, 540x733px

>>606919999

Dem quads

"what the hell is a brony"

Son, all pain is in your head. It can make you or break you. Now, go outside.

>>606920067
>black
>has father

>>606919999

That image sums up my life.

File: HP 41cx.jpg (176KB, 1024x933px) Image search: [Google]

176KB, 1024x933px

I thought my first name was Goddamnit for 18 years

File: kåkgangsters.jpg (81KB, 650x430px) Image search: [Google]

81KB, 650x430px

Don't you worry, don't you worry child, see heaven's got a plan for you! Don't you worry, don't you worry now. Yeah!

>>606918597
One of the best things my dad told me :

"pamet u glavu"

It translates to "knowledge in head", but the actual meaning of it is to arm yourself with your intelligence and wit, to know what to do in any situation, and when to do it. Be sharp, and always strive to know more.

>>606918597
Dat feel when no father.

File: 1425241613122.png (101KB, 500x366px) Image search: [Google]

101KB, 500x366px

>Sometimes you gotta bust a nut to solve a problem. Didn't work out in my case, because that's how you came along.

Thanks, Dad.

>mfw was only 8

>>606921090
>could be a half-breed

>>606921228
Same thing here, didn't really help

>>606921198
Okay Carlos Mencia.

"Never go after the 10s, go after the 6s and drink until they are 8s"

File: pepper your angus.jpg (98KB, 1000x1160px) Image search: [Google]

98KB, 1000x1160px

>>606918597
>"Fuck Lowes, Home Depot is the superior hardware store. Always shop there."
>"We should just nuke the whole middle east. It's a sore on the face of the planet."
>"Did you take out the recycling?"
>"For fucksake boy, don't stab the steak, FLIP IT!"
>"Grab the table saw and bring it over to the porch. Try not to decapitate yourself."
>'I'm glad your not a furry like that faggot kid down the street."

Growing up with a based /diy/ father was fun as hell.

>>606921446
Might not help mVIII, but it is Damn good advice.

File: 1425208213217.jpg (77KB, 960x912px) Image search: [Google]

77KB, 960x912px

I got suspended in 3rd grade for telling this:

he told me it


There is an apartment building with whites, mexicans, and black people in it. When there is a fire on Monday morning all the Mexicans and Black people died. The whites all survived. Why?
They worked.

File: 1327588121938.jpg (7KB, 210x251px) Image search: [Google]

7KB, 210x251px

>tfw dad was killed in a car accident when i was 5
>tfw i dont even remember the sound of his voice

>>606921228
Another thing my dad always tells me when I fuck something up:

"it's my fault, I should have beat you more when you were a child."

>>606921090

Because blacks pop out of banana trees... All of them have fathers you dip

>>606920709
That's some damn good advice.

My dad always told me, if a woman cheats on you never take your anger out on the guy. He had no obligation to you. She did.

I haven't spoken to my father in four years and now I'm starting to forget everything he's ever said to me

but i do remember him calling me a liar

I asked him once "Pop, would you kick a man when he was down?" He said "Hell yes, what the fuck you think I knocked him down for."

>>606918597
Once you open it, there is no point closing it.

File: best_backpack.jpg (66KB, 620x845px) Image search: [Google]

66KB, 620x845px

This is my first comment on 4chan, so I'm not sure how to greentext. Nevertheless, I'd like to share some things my father told me with you.

>Working with you is like having splinters in ass.
>Why do you have to be so stu... unpractical!?

File: 602909370.jpg (18KB, 180x220px) Image search: [Google]

18KB, 180x220px

Nothing, he has said nothing

He said
>...
Oh wait I'm black

>>606921913
This is true. The bro probably had no idea she was someone else's woman.

Still wouldn't hit the bitch, but I would drop her ass faster than 8am Physics.

"Its 3 PM have you been drinking again?!"

He'd then proceed to turn on every radio to static and bang pans and sing really shitty songs

I once wore a shirt to school with the Trix bunny on it that said "Silly faggot, dix are for chix!" And some pussy complained to administration and I was suspended for a day. When my dad found out that another kid had ratted me out he said "Next time you see him, hit him with a chair."

>>606922162
Oh yeah. I mean it's not implied to strike her. Not worth the time. Should have elaborated a bit more.

"Son, you're never too young to get high on cough syrup."

>>606919999
Hey man, at least you got quads.

>''Sometimes you gotta dance with the one that brung you''

Used to hear that each and everytime he wanted something done and was too lazy to do it himself.

Son, fuck life. Whatever you do it won't matter, and in the end it's just like pissing against the wind.

File: 1425437088223.gif (884KB, 245x150px) Image search: [Google]

884KB, 245x150px

>>606922137
>first comment on 4chan

File: 1301079558740.jpg (61KB, 698x563px) Image search: [Google]

61KB, 698x563px

>>606919858
i totally just imagined that like a scene from a movie, something like Walter White - war vet.

>>606922283
Glad you got suspended. Not just because you're a homophobe but you were one of those kids who wore retarded CHECK-OUT-MY-ATTITUDE shirts. Also your dad is a fuck. Guess it's genetic.

How youre going to feed yourself if i die bitch?

File: image.jpg (16KB, 250x172px) Image search: [Google]

16KB, 250x172px

>>606918597
If you're lucky enough find a woman that will put your balls in her mouth you better hold onto her for life

File: 1426990630987.jpg (72KB, 720x480px) Image search: [Google]

72KB, 720x480px

>>606918597

Not a fucking thing Op. Cause his bitch ass wasn't there. Probably better off because he wasn't.
Either way, No fucks given.

It's perfectly to focus on what you want to do, after you've done what you need to do.

Helping others is a good thing, but you have to help yourself first. If you're fucked you're no position to help anyone.

Never let anyone tell you that you can't do something. Who the fuck are they?

Don't start fights, finish them. Whatever they do to you, do it to them twice as hard.

"I don't know what tour doing upstairs with your gf but always use a condom, you know"

>>606918597
>git gud
he is a wise man

They're all pink on the inside (in regards to fat chicks)

>>606923045
you need a hug

>>606922767
fag

>>606918597
I'll smash your head into that fucking wall you little cunt.
>I don't like my dad

File: 1427207133115.jpg (18KB, 250x287px) Image search: [Google]

18KB, 250x287px

>>606923045
product of divorce I assume. women can fuck with a child's mind

"I'm 53, and I don't know what I want to do with the rest of my life."

Leaving college is gonna suck, but I'm glad to know I don't need to have all the answers yet.

My father used to beat me and my mother to the point where we could not go into public without people constantly asking us what was wrong. He is a piece of shit, but he did give me one good piece of advice in my life.

Color inside the lines you fuck.

>>606922739
What?

>>606918597
>If you want a good job, you gotta start with the pidgeon-shit
This coming from a story he told me about his first job and how it would get so hot in his cramped office space it would be unbearable. They could not open the windows because of all the pidgeon-shit outside that would also got hot in the dank alleyway, as they made it smell fucking awful everywhere and everyone in the building got sick as fuck.
As the years went on he got a better and better position, away from the pidgeon-shit. Then he got so fucking tired of peruvian flute bands he quit his job.

>>606923149
>It's perfectly to focus on

File: 1410007972106.jpg (94KB, 500x375px) Image search: [Google]

94KB, 500x375px

"never ever marry a woman , i'm dead serious , my own father told me the same thing ,i thought he was joking ! i didn't listen...
you spend thirty years building your life and then a parasite disguised as a beautiful woman comes and takes you time , your money and more importantly : YOUR FREEDOM away , son you are now warned."

if this cunt wants too steal my milk, i'll put a smashed light bulb in the milk hehe, that'l fucken teach the monkey fucks!

>>606924115

Oh thank God - thought you may have been my son

>>606923873
*perfectly fine

>you stupid piece of shit
>all you do is sag your pants and listen to hiphop
>his step-father hit him, so he socked him back
>and broke his nose
>his house is a broken home
>there's no control
>he just let's his emotions go...

File: 1426990672187.jpg (69KB, 720x480px) Image search: [Google]

69KB, 720x480px

>>606923353
Pffft.

>>606923556
Nope. My parents were never married. I was a bastard child. : [

>>606918597
mine used to tell me that jet fuel couldn't melt steel beams

Sit down at breakfast table hungover, woke up literally 5 minutes before sitting down
>Wow, you look like shit

Thanks Dad.

>Son, put the hammer down. It was a mistake

Earn your money in honest ways. That way, no one can say you don't deserve your earn.

File: tyud041374.gif (951KB, 340x255px) Image search: [Google]

951KB, 340x255px

>>606924518
>>606923556
You remind me of when I was a young man. show me a picture of your mother, I may owe you some back child support

>>606924518

I am in the exact same situation as you.
Tell me more. Are addicted to drugs, masturbation?
Underachiever?
Lacking confidence and masculinity? Cuz i am all of these

File: you.jpg (232KB, 1053x919px) Image search: [Google]

232KB, 1053x919px

i dont know how your not out there trying to score some, when i was your age i couldnt keep my dick in my pants
>tfw your dad was more alpha then you

>>606925003
no, but i do have a really small dick and fap to traps constantly

File: 10347473_10152115051502267_7000210873880974692_n.jpg (11KB, 235x196px) Image search: [Google]

11KB, 235x196px

>>606924795