>Dolphins are capable of manipulating their vaginal muscles

So long, and thanks for all the fish

>>599871943
but can they make me a sandwich?

>>599871943
Yeah, but in the end you're still fucking a dolphin.

>>599872282

As if women, the pompous turds they all are nowadays, would deign themselves to make you a simple sandwich after a hard day of work to support them.

Nah, I'm better off with my dolphin.

>>599872391

Didn't you read the OP? Dolphins are better.

>Dolphins are capable of manipulating their vaginal muscles in order to provide maximum pleasure
>Women are not

virgin detected

>>599872601

>Implying a weak fucking primate can grind better than a dolphin

Tip your fedora harder.

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I heard somewhere that a species's intelligence might be linked to the number of folds in its brain tissue and that dolphins have way more folds than humans and also that they're the only other animal that kills and rapes for fun. I try telling people about the dolphin menace and they're all like "If dolphins are so smart, why aren't there a bunch of underwater cities?" and I'm just like "They're beyond that, bro."

Pic related, the superior alternative for sexing.

>>599871943

I have, OP. I went to Florida several months ago. I was quite happily swimming around with the dolphins when she suddenly decided to grab my foot with her genital slit. Dolphins have very muscular vaginal orifices, and can use these muscles to manipulate objects and carry them. I stayed still for a while, to see if she was just playing, but she continued to masturbate against my foot, and in the light of the torch I sometimes carry, I could see that her slit had become very pink and had swelled as well. She was aroused!

So, I started to back-paddle with my hands towards a small beached area, partially submerged in the water. A couple of times she pulled me forward into the deeper water, but eventually I got my self to the shallows. I dislodged my foot (Being careful not to pull too hard), and took her gently by a pectoral fin and rubbed her belly just to aclimatize her, I guess. She immediately rolled belly up and started doing pelvic thrusts against the palm of my hand. It was unmistakebly erotic, and by now I was fully aroused.

I stripped off my shorts, and gently pulled her into the shallows until she was lying on her side, her belly facing towards me, half submerged in the water. I nestled myself belly to belly against her, and pressed my member against her genital slit. She immediately arched her body against mine, and took me inside her body, initiating a quick series of muscular contractions with her vaginal muscles. I wrapped my left arm around her body and just held her close while she manipulated me inside her body, until I climaxed barely 2 minutes later. Surprisingly, her body also shuddered against mine, and we spent the next 5 or so minutes just lying together in the shallows, holding each other, enjoying our company and revelling in the fact that we had shared something special together, something very few people can claim to have done.

>>599871943
Get me a dolphin and a bottle of absinthe and lets see what happens

>>599873238

It swims away after you pass out drunk?...

>Dolphins secrete a substance that allows you to continuously ejaculate as long as your dick remains inside the vagina

Source? This is bullshit.

>>599873323
Or the Dolphid gets drunk and dies, then I can be a zoopheliac and a necrophiliac

>>599871943
>pasta
i remember when the first one was posted, and the second, and so on. but thank you fag lord for the morning chuckle.

also


>op is a cum guzzling faggot

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>>599873082
What. The. Fuck.

JUST A REMINDER TO ALL OF THE VIOLENT PERVERTED MISOGYNISTIC RAPISTS ON THIS SITE.

I have been "lurking" (as you nerds put it) on this terrible website for months compiling data for a book I'm publishing about the dangerous patriarchal underbelly of the internet; What I have discovered during my time here fills me with nausea and rage.

The media-at-large have been monitoring this cesspool for some time now. From child pornography to submitting evidence of murder to the illegal proliferation of nude photographs of celebrities and girlfriends, your pathetic little secret club has been exposed for the rotting tumor on society it is.

The United States Federal government has been working in tandem with overseas and international law enforcement organizations to aggressively pursue and shutter websites such as this and bring and complicit perpetrators to justice.

Consider this a warning you miserable worms. Your time is coming..

>>599873427

In certain dolphin species, namely Bottlenose, female vaginal tracts secrete an organic chemical while mating that allow a male to orgasm for as long as the penis remains within the vaginal tract, resulting in multiple continuous ejaculations. This is speculated to increase chances of fertilization for each act of reproduction. It has been tested and proven in controlled environments that this same organic chemical produces identical effects in similar dolphin species, and in mammals with less than sufficient genetic disparity, including primate and primate families.

Due to a combination of carbon compounds and other organically produced enzymes, the chemical maintains properties that effectively eliminate the 'refractory period' wherein the male penis involuntarily becomes and remains flaccid for a varying amount of time, during which ejaculation is physically impossible. It is hypothesized that a male could remain united, the penis within the vaginal tract, for potentially up to several hours at a time. While this would result in a constant state of orgasm and resulting ejaculation for the hypothesized period of several hours, it is unlikely that either the male or female would remain in this state for such an extended period of time. This would also have the negative side-effect of significantly lowering the males sperm count, due to the constant state of ejaculation, resulting in an indeterminate hiatus from successful reproduction until the sperm count of the male returned to the standard level of fertile sperm.

Pasted it from some site, don't remember the name now. But it was written by an accredited marine biologist.

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>>599873824

Fucking pedos. How could anyone get off to the idea of removing a little girl's clothes and licking her tiny body all over, nibbling her neck and kissing her adorable little nipples? Only a heartless monster would think about her cute girlish mouth and tongue wrapped around a thick cock slick with her saliva, pumping in and out of her mouth until it erupts, the cum more than her little throat can swallow.
The idea of thick viscous semen overflowing, dribbling down her chin over her flat chest, her tiny hands scooping it all up and watching her suck it off her fingertips is just horrible. You're all a bunch of sick perverts, thinking of spreading her smooth slender thighs, cock poised at the entrance to her pure, tight, virginal pussy, and thrusting in deep as a whimper escapes her lips which are slippery with cum, while her small body shudders from having her cherry taken in one quick stroke.
I am disgusted at how you'd get even more excited as you lean over her, listening to her quickening breath, her girlish moans and gasps while you hasten your strokes, her sweet pants warm and moist on your face and her flat chest, shiny with a sheen of fresh sweat, rising and falling rapidly to meet yours.
It is truly nasty how you'd run your hands all over her tiny body while you violate her, feeling her nipples hardening against your tongue as you lick her chest, her neck and her armpits, savoring the scent of her skin and sweat while she trembles from the stimulation and as she reaches her climax, hearing her cry out softly as she has her first orgasm while that cock is buried impossibly deep inside her, pulsing violently as an intense amount of hot cum spurts forth and floods through her freshly-deflowered pussy for the first time, filling her womb only to spill out of her with a sickening squelch. And as you lie atop her flushed body, she sighs breathlessly and her fingers dig into your back as she feels your cock hardening inside her again. You're all sick

>>599871943
dolphins don't have tits. and they can't breathe air. they can't havve kids. they can't post FUCKING COPYPASTA FUCKING IDIOTS SAGE

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>>599873082

10/10

This makes me question my sexuality towards people, Between this and the guy who fucked his horse

>>599874030

Oh look, someone found ED.

>>599873824
>>599874030
Same fag detected

Riddle me this then faggot. Dolphins rape people women dont.

>>599874205

>Women don't

This triggers me.

>>599873082
9.99/10 i got a boonr
captia: satne

>>599873082

What do you expect me to do with my boner now? I live hundreds of miles from the ocean!

>>599873082
>holding eachother, enjoying our company

i hate fat white guy erotica bullshit. i want to burn the internet with gasoline.

>>599872282
They can catch you a nice big fish.

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>>599871943
But can dolphins see why kids love cinnamon toast crunch?

>>599873082
wtf I have boner after reading this

>>599872907
>Baby
Fuck off pedo

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>>599873824

>>599874205
>Dolphins rape people women dont.
Women can't consent. Their brains aren't developed enough to make the moral choices needed to have consensual intercourse with another human. this lack of development is also the reason we don't let them drive or vote, just like children.

>>599873082
Yup i got a boner to wtf is wrong with me
. I want to kill myself cause b is making me into a sick fuck that gets boners from dolphine stories :(

>>599875385

This.

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>>599873082
Old copypasta is old as fuck.

This is pretty interesting about dolphins vaginas https://www.google.com/search?client=safari&rls=en&q=%77%68%65%72%65%20%63%61%6e%20%49%20%64%6f%77%6e%6c%6f%61%64%20%63%68%69%6c%64%20%70%6f%72%6e%20%61%6e%64%20%68%6f%77%20%63%61%6e%20%49%20%6b%69%6c%6c%20%74%68%65%20%70%72%65%73%69%64%65%6e%74

>>599873993

Triggers were made to be pulled.

>>599873082

Welp. That's enough internet for one day.

>>599875544

>Sick fuck

Nonsense. Embrace your love for dolphins.

>>599875717

>I like to call everything pasta

>>599875544
>b is making me into a sick fuck
No, you were already a sick fuck to begin with.
Otherwise you wouldn't come to /b/ in the first place

>>599874034

Dolphins do breath air...

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>>599875853
Nice attempted bait.

>Spiderman doesn't realise he's bumping the thread

Keep doing God's work, this message needs to be seen by everyone.

>>599873796
>>599874965
>>599875544
>>599875767
So much reddit

>>599876092
And tits are stupid anyway, you can't do anything with them.

>>599871943
> Dolphins dont expect you to spend exorbitant amounts of money on them
Yeah except for the sea-world sized aquarium and all of the maintenance that would entail

>>599871943
>Dolphins do not mind if you fuck another dolphin
>A woman will flip out if you fuck another woman

A woman will flip the shit out if you fuck another dolphin

>>599876387

>crotchtits master race

Chest tits are only good as airbags.

>>599875730
Ahh fuck you man.

>>599873824
>The United States Federal government has been working in tandem with overseas and international law enforcement organizations to aggressively pursue and shutter websites such as this and bring and complicit perpetrators to justice.
>Consider this a warning you miserable worms. Your time is coming..
Tits with time stamp or GTFO fegit

>>599876256
>not realizing the point of posting spiderman is to reach max amount of posts quickly so thread gets pruned
>being this new

>>599876446

>Implying dolphins want to be in aquariums

Weak bait

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>>599871943
Disregard dolphins, aircraft make the best lovers.

>>599873082
you can't fuck a dolphin the vaginal muscles will literally cut the circulation in your dick

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>>599871943
>Catch shit loads of dolphins
>Put in farm
>Farm orgasmo vago juice
>Sell to horny teens
>???
>Profit

>>599876762

>2 minutes is enough for the dick's tissue to die

No

I wouldn't mind fucking a dolphin, and they're smart enough to know what's happening too so it's not rape if you do it

>>599876606

Well, spidey gave up long ago. He just bumped the thread really.

>>599876821
Get shot by PETA

>>599871943
I just fapped to this. I fapped to a photo of dolphin vagina

>>599874103
Story?

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>>599876821
Splendid idea anon.
Mind if I borrow it for a while?

>>599873824
LOL if you think this is secret then you have another thing coming faggot. Try getting into the deep web, that's secret. 4chan is an indexed website and this forum is moderated as well as listed on the front page of the website with the NSFW tag. There is pleanty of warning to the contents of this page before you even get on it so I don't see your point.

>>599876976

>PETA
>Implying they aren't all closet zoophiles

They'd be delighted to have this happen, provided they could sex dem dolphins from time to time.

>>599874034
dumbass

>>599877153
Lol for falling for the troll

>>599877103
here you go>>599862968

>>599874855
*tip*

>they do not form lasting, intimate relationships

http://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/974764

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>>599873824

>>599873082
Just...wow

>>599877076
is this your first day on the internet?

>>599873082
>in the light of the torch I sometimes carry

only illusion ruining part

>>599876821
Seriously, anyone got source on it tested on humans? This sounds so unreal. Fucking a dolphin might be on my bucket list now.

>>599871943
>So /b/, how come you haven't fucked a glorious dolphin yet?

Simply because I'm not attracted to them. Do you think if I could choose sexual attraction I would choose to slave away for pussy? I fucking wish I was gay and just have buddie-ass-fuckers, enjoy some jolly sun-bro cooperation in the ass and the world would be perfect

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>>599872781

>>599873082
This made me so hard. Good times m8

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>>599873082

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Nice pasta.

Even the original thread was gay as fuck.