> be me > 7-8ish > loved spongebob as a kid > had the movie > was the shit > fav vidya at the time was Spongebob SquarePants: Battle For Bikini Bottom on PS2 > 10/10 > sitting alone, playing when suddenly > a plan hatches in my head > since a lot of family members love SB, they like to watch the movie from time to time. > young me thinks >"What if I switch the DVD with the game?" > anytime someone wants to watch the movie, they open the box, see the game instead and wonder how that got there > This is where I come in >"Hey, I guess I'll play the game, then." >"You guys can watch me play instead." > foolproof.jpeg > set plan into motion > switch discs while everyone is looking >"What are you doing, Anon?" > ohshit.png >"Uhh, nothing, Mom." >"Do you want to watch Spongebob, Anon?" >"No I was...making sure the disc was in here." >"Ok, then." > little does my mother know, is that the DVD isn't actually in there. > SB:BFBB is in there! > eagerly wait for the next few days for someone to want to watch the movie > eventually I get tired of waiting > grab the DVD box > take the game out > pop it in the PS2 > proceed to have a good time and forget what I tried to do > cringe.gif
>>594179589 I could never get past one of the sections in the level where you go to Bikini Bottom and there all the plankton statues where you had to wall jump with one moving wall and one stationary wall. Kept falling off and eventually quit that shit
>be 7 >jumping on bed >do the thing where you slam your ass down to come back into a standing position >decide to show family >walk out to living room >grandma visiting >"you guys wanna see a cool trick?" >throw entire body weight down on ass >ass hits hard floor >cry on impact
>>594179589 >>594179589 I could never get past one of the sections in the level where you go to Bikini Bottom and there all the plankton statues where you had to wall jump with one moving wall and one stationary wall. Kept falling off and eventually quit that shit
>>594180183 I remember the moving wall and stationary wall one in Battle for Bikini Bottom but I found some weird trick where you can stick to the stationary one until the moving one came back. Good times playing BFBB
>be 6 >attempting to climb on couch by putting one hand on couch and another on coffee table >arm on coffee table slips >slam head on table >ear splits open >blood everywhere >chip off part of table >go to emergency room >get stitches >parents later get me Dragonball Z Kid buu dvd to make me feel better
>be me >be 6 >meeting step dads daughter for the first time >everyones going bowling >I bowl a really shitty ball rolling at the speed of a snail, but all I hear is >'GO ON ANON!' 'GO ON!' 'GOOO OOON!' >I instantly know what they are telling me to do >I chase down the bowling alley to get my ball back and bowl again >This is clearly what they were instructing me to do >two lunges in I fall over backwards banging my head >turn around, 100 people laughing >walk back in shame realising I had made a slight mistake
>be me in pre k >go to the bathroom which was co-ed >climb the stool and unzip to pee in the urinal >realize that the folds in the front of my underwear are flaps and i can stick my penis through it >become ecstatic >need to tell someone of my brilliant discovery >turn around to a much older girl washing her hands at a sink behind me >show and explain my discovery >gives me a confused look and walks away
>be 5 >have hamsters >hamster cage on top of tall desk >always try and grab the hamsters to play with them and shit >brother tells me not to do it or w/e >little did I know the bastard makes it so the glass cage is off the side of the desk by a couple of inches >one night decide to go up and play with hamsters >my weight is on the side >yupimflyingthroughtheairthisisnotgood.gif >crash on floor >takes mom for what seems like fucking forever as I'm covered in blood to get off the fucking phone to see what happened >sees me >She aint surprised >go to the hospital, gay ass brother crying crocodile tears >didn't require stitches
Still got little scars from when the shards cut me up.
>be in 1st grade >me and my friend invent an awesome game >we demostrate it to to 3rd graders >i get on my knees >my friend says oh look at the baby >i then procede to lick my friends crotch (clothed thank god) >have to go the principals office with a card saying licking crotch
I also used to put my pet parakeet's head in my mouth and that really bugs me now
>>594177952 >be me 9 elementary school >pretending to smash head on table in class >making kids laugh >grab back of my head with right hand >furiously move head back and forth towards table >kids laughing >smash nose into table >epic nose bleed >teacher yells >sent to office with nose blead
>kindergarden >they have fancy dresses for the girls to wear if they want to >female friend convices me to wear them >some time later i'm crying because i can't wear the best dress today >friend comforts me and i suddendly realize what a fag i am
>be me 10 >visit ma grammy >proceed to go on computer >log on to AOL >takes forever >spend the next 10 hours looking at porn >grammy walks in on me >asks if I want a snack >y-yes >grammy so old she didn't notice the porn >or so I thought >parents come pick me up >get home >parents end up giving me the talk >grammy noticed >fuck grammy >spend 3 hours talking about the birds and the bees with parents >tfw grammy went to the doc and found out she had cancer. >tfw I got caught several more times looking at porn And had more talks about sex. I hate you grammy. You ruined it for me.
>3rd grade >Discover that 'grabbing and tickling' someone's groin is fucking ticklish as fuck. >Me and a friend constantly tickle each other's groins >No one has any idea what we're doing >We have no idea what we're doing >Think back to it years later >........ >Never speak of it again.
>be me about 8 >at dads with brother >brothers friend was there >playing playstation 1 >dad leaves for some reason >I wanted to make them laugh >walk out room and strip down >sprint back into room >immediately trip over cord >laying down in shame while they swear at me for fucking up the game >they tell my dad >he laughs his ass off >the end
>my brothers friend is now faggot >I think I made someone faggot
>like to rub my penis on things as a child >would stay home sick and rub penis on ice packs in freezer >mom buys two large workout balls that are kinda like stress relievers and can fit in your hand >:penis tingles: >wait for her to go downstairs >stick the balls in my pants >fuck the shit out of them >mom walks in >"Anon, why do you have those in your pants" >nothingmombye.jpg
>be enrolled in public school after being homeschooled for a few years >enter 6th grade >see person i knew from kindergarted >run up to them >HI CHRIS >he looks at me like i'm psycho >DONT YOU REMEMBER ME? ITS ME, ANON >he walks away with his friends laughing >feel twinge of embarrassment >later that day have gym >we're running laps >decide it would be cool to try and run like sonic >be running with my arms behind me >dat aerodynamic >get laughed at by other kids >lunch time >try and make friends with another girl >ask her her name >she tells me her name is guatamala >i completely miss sarcasm and call her guatamala for the rest of the day
>be like 5 or 6 >playing in the back yard >between the patio and the grass there is a hill of fire ants >gets bright idea >grabs a plastic hockey with foam on it >starts whacking the ant hill with hockey stick cause why the fuck not >ants get pissed and start climbing on my leg >ohfuck.jpeg >i am now covered in ants and they're biting the fuck out of me >manage to climb halfway up the porch steps >lying on the step crying and writhing in pain >after what felt like forever brother comes out and sees me laying there >gets carried into the house and mom has to put alcohol on all the bites >shit hurt worse than the actual bites >feels bad man
>be me in grade school >weird friend of friend would tackle me at recess and try to spank me till I eventually got away >wtfnigger.jpeg >kid is from a messed up family >6th grade graduation is going on in the gym >low tier classes outside for recess >he pulls his normal shit >kick him off me >aid see's and he starts running from the law >3 aids trying to corner him >he runs into graduation/around the gym, past the stage etc >gets tackled inside >mfw years later I find out he likes homosex
Not cringe but here it is >be me >be 12 >little 6 yr old brother always irritating me >hate the little shit >decide to prank him >greatest idea ever >take a warm bowl of water at night and dip his hand in it to make him wet the bed >wait until midnight >get the water, sneak into his room >wait five minutes, shit doesn't work >decide to try his testicles >lift blanket >he sleeps nude >dip his balls in warm water >giggling out of control >do this for 10 minutes until he starts peeing >run back to room with bowl and goto sleep >laughing to tears Next day >clearly upset, mom comforting >pretend she told me and make fun of him, made the fucker cry I did this for about awhile, shit was funny as fuck
>4th grade >My sister (2 years older) would always walk back to her room from the shower naked >to get revenge (ew girls were gross) I play the cello naked in my room with the door open >penis tactically hidden by cello so it isn't weird >did this while one of her friends was over >sister, her friend, my mom all saw everything >it was weird after all
I was super autistic basically through jr high then sorta gradually normalled out.
>be 9-10 >like to hump the floor >did it around people because i didn't know what i was doing >had guests over >watching tv >get off couch >lay on floor >start humping >"anon what are you doing? stop!" >"no it feels good" >guests leave and never come back
>so get of grade 5 >recess fuck yeah >we always play touch football >have to pee first >hurry so I don't get picked by Josh instead of Marcus(hate Josh) >pull up pants mid stream >continue to urinate for a solid 2-3 seconds into my now pulled up pants >freak out >decide to squat and walk through the hallway to hide the urine mark >get outside and "fall" in snow so my entire front is wet to hide it >fool proof >Just my shirt was wet still had very noticeable urine stain all around crouch >got called bed wetter for the rest of grade for some reason
>Year 4 NZ Fag >Somali girl gets sat next to me >Mywhiteprivilege.jpg >Ask her to move >She starts getting in my face in Crash Bandicoot language >Start calling her "blackie" >The children around me sides are beginning to burst >She desperately looks for suppoer around her saying I'm stupid ooga booga etc >Pranksterlifevemerges >Continue to call her blackie >Black teacher gets involved >Explain to her what happened >Sent to principles office >Forced to go to tolerance and racism classes at lunch time
>be in grade school >go to bathroom to piss >piss on bottom of t shirt >decide to tuck my shirt into my pants so no one will know >walk out of the bathroom with my shirt tucked into my sweatpants >smooth as fuck
>be me >be 9 I think >hear that pulling your hair out doesn't hurt that bad >give it a try >there's a big piece of white root on the end >it can stick to things too! >get in the habit of pulling my hair out, trying to collect the ones with the juiciest roots >the ones towards the back and to the side were the best >end up with bald spots >had to wear a hat for a while until it grew back enough to where I could get a uniform hair cut >stopped after I realized it was making me bald >I now have grey hairs at the age of 21
>>594177952 >Had the version of this game for gameboy advance >The game had a code input system for saves >My neighbor and I guessed random codes to find the one for the last level >Still remember that shit >0ZXY
>>594182837 >>594180157 >be 10 >have only one comp in living room >looks up "lesbian feather pillow fight" on youtube >whole family out there >mom watching me staring at amazing porn >"what are you doing?!" >ohshit >"practicing for a slumber party" >goes back to watching porn
here's two: 1 - >be in year 4 >class did a group activity >group of 3 >people just had to make a very short play in front of the class >we decide to pretend we're dogs >we start making dog noises, sniffing, standing on hind legs and pretending to sniff another classmates ass like a dog. >kids we're laughing because they though it was genuinely funny >Teacher was red faced, covering her mouth and crying..with laughter >She said "that's enough" >fullautist.png
2 - >be about 10 >Here dumb joke at school >think it is funny as fuck >get home >"hey mum" >"Yeah?" >"where can you get free milk" >"I don't know, anon, where?" >"from a girls tits"
>Be around 10 years old >Watch far too much Naruto on TV >Beginning to weeb the fuck out >Hire out Tenchu Z >Decide my life calling is in the ninja way >Gather a group of kids at my primary to be part of my ninja clan >sasuke/10 already >Explain to them in order to level up you must do ninja shit >They terribly try climbing stuff >Decide to show them how a real ninja does it >Climb 3 stories up on this tree >Fasten a non-existent leaf village headbang >Yell BELIEVE IT at the top of my lungs >Jump out of the tree >Land on my feet >crunch then barrel rolled >They all start screaming >I dislocated and fractured my right foot and it was hanging all fucked and shit >For my last months at the school declared head ninja
>>594177952 >Be me >5-6ish >Good friends with another family >Had a girl same age as me >My family would always go over to their house and vice versa >Everytime go to their house my and girl go into her room >Lock door supertight.exe >pull out some talking mat onto the floor (to keep germs away) >Play doctor or some shit. >Pull down pants >Inspect each others junk >Take turns >use barbie horse carriage or something to weel down ass/in between legs
>be in 7th grade >early myspace days (muh top 8) >trying to be edgy >leave a comment on a friends profile talking shit about our teacher, she should die >honors assembly, a week after leaving comments >i forgot i even left that comment >get called out in front of the entire school >go to principals office >he lays the printed comments out on his table >mfw some white knight ratted on me >get suspended for 3 days >forced to scrape gum off the floor for a month with the janitor
>about 8 or 9 >huge ant pile under car >crawl under to get ball that rolled under >they bite the fuck out of my arm >"wow those bites look cool" >crawl back under car and lay my arm in ant pile >my whole fucking arm is ant bites >go to school the next day
>be me >13 years young >at grandmas >eating m&m's >thinks of idea >walks into bathroom >smears chocolate all over fingers >walks out of bathroom, licking chocolate off >tells grandma it's my poop >grandma nearly has heart attack >almost killed grandma at 13
>>594177952 >be 6 years old >have dog at time (female german sheppard/husky) >love the dog and play with her all the time >one day shes licking my face >i laugh and then stick my tongue out >holyshitthisfeelsnice.gif >for the next couple of days i have random make out sessions with dog not knowing what im doing >I think its super cool so i get my parents to see >brings dog over and tongue kiss her infront of parents >Dad is disappoint
>be me >be 8, second grade >discover it is good to fuck own hand >have total believe I'm the only one who can do it >consider even writing a book about it and how famous I would be >did it during class, fat ass teacher notices it >tells my parents, next day we have the talk >my mom talks about it from time to time
>Be freshman in high school >Chick starts talking to me >Realize she likes me >Talk to her more etc etc >One day at breakfast tells me she wants to see me upstairs before class >When I done walking up the steps I see her >Have no idea how to ask a girl out >'Hey' >'Hey' >She says 'I like you do you like me' >'y-yeah' >'Then what are we going to do about it? >I-I guess we should go out >Proceed to class like a boss
>Be me, early elementary school >Did this thing where I use to talk in a near scream whenever I was nervous >Had kid-crush on this girl >Friends knew about it >One day her best friend is absent >Sitting on swingset by herself >mytimetoshine.gif >go and sit next to her and converse >Going pretty well >Friends see me and start making smoochie noises and singing "anon and chelsea sitting in a tree" >youfuckingcockblocks.jpeg >Yell at them to go away >They laugh and run off >mfw the entire rest of lunch I talking to her in a scream
>be me >4-5 years old >in my room just hanging out >My parents keep the vacation suitcases in my closet for some reason >big suitcases with the extendable handles and scooter wheels >I suddenly have to take a shit >I get a brilliant idea >two suitcases of the same size with the wide sides facing each other with a narrow gap between them >I somehow manage to climb to the top >I pull down my pants but not my briefs >situate myself so that my asshole is right above the gap >strain and release a huge log, ruining my underwear in the process >I can hear the shit plop down on the carpet between the suitcases >that feeling of satisfaction >hop off, go to the bathroom and wipe my ass >change into new briefs >all's well >mom comes into my room and smells the reek of shit coming from the closet >get my ass spanked >what the fuck was I thinking
> be kid > love going to cousins house because we always go to the pool > cousin has cousins from other side of her family > dont like those cocksuckers because they always take all the attention and dont always include me > this day they want to go with us to the pool and their mom says she'll take all of us > go because I still fucking love swimming fuck it > as we go home they say they want to go to their house > fuck that noise I hate you guys > get pissed > tell their mom I have to pee take me home > she says its too far > piss in their astro van with fabric carpet seats and squish myself down and rub it in fuck it no one will notice while we're all wet from the pool > Fuck those guys
> me, be 4-5 > live in country area, not alot of population. > mum always doing tennis club shit > meet new friends > 2 girls 1 other boy > have fun for countless events running and playgrounding > idea.jpg > lets hide in Scoreboard tower for football field > idea.jpg > lets play doctors > lets get naked > rubbed, kissed, played, all that naughty stuff > get girl on girl but no boy on boy cause I knew yuck. > never got caught > few months later and my family is moving to a big city > always suspected they found out (reason for moving)
I loved guns when I was a kid. I would draw guns all the time. I had a few binders full of real guns or guns I invented. I would read my ps1 booklets about all the guns in every game and draw them. I would read about guns on wiki and draw them.
I bought real airsoft guns cause I'm a canads fsg who can't get a hold of a gun. Run around the house pretending to be swat. Pose in the mirror with them. Treat them like real guns and speed take them apart..
My step dad always said I'm gonna be a serial killer when I'm older. I went to college got lots of friends banged lots of bitches and Now have a good job.. I do a lot of drugs and drinking but my life is pretty sweet... FUCK YOU JERRY
This wasn't me, but my brother since he is a fucking artist > Be him, around 9 > recently watched an episode of family guy, where it paused the show and said "dial 1 to see... something like that. > My brother, being excited that were going to texas, repeats what the show said >"Dial 1 if you want to see me run around the house" > proceeds to run around the room > hear a loud thump and crying a minute later > my brother ran and tripped over the suitcases > fell directly to edge of sofa and cut himself above eyelid > MFW when his whole trip was spoiled because he had a black eye the whole time I'll post pics if I can find them, or if anyone is interested...probably not
>>594185006 Exact same happened to me anon here's my story
>be me 15 >some crazy bitches little brother was getting bullied >go to a really shit school >she decides to make a facebook page on anti bullying >isthisbitchforreal.jpg >people from school see it >comment shit about teachers being cunts >I decide to type "Someone should headbutt the bald prick" >bald prick being our headteacher >Fast forward a few days >Headteacher wants to speak to me >taken to office >2 police men and printed copies of the comments >mfw i nearly got arrested and fined >mfw dad beats my ass >mfw suspended for 2 days
>>594177952 >be a long time ago >sponge bob movie coming out >little sister wants to see it >decide to surprise her >go on TPB >torrent that shit >burn to DVD >wait till her birthday >pop it in the DVD player >tell her to press play >loading... >loading... >Loading... C'mon now >"dickoldeon presents" >wut >scene of black guy in costume anally pounding girl in squirrel costume >horrifying laugh as he destroys her >ahahahahaha >never watched sponge bob again >not allowed to use innanet ever again >mfw
>>594177952 >>594179369 These games were my shit. I don't think I ever beat the robot plankton at the end of BFBB, I did beat the movie game though. So much fun. I wish they released it for pc, I'd kill to play that shit
>be me >4th grade >had some weird ass King Tut song recital thing just for our class >needed to bring in a pillow case that we would cut holes into and decorate and make into gowns for the performance >never brought one/made one >get to class >only fucking one in the whole class without one one >thankfully teacher had one extra >super big but whatever >4th grade so no bra >on stage preforming song >try to hold arms close at sides to keep pillow case gown from moving so much and showing off chest >not really looking but feel like everyone is staring >whatever get it over with >finish performance >feel cold breeze as people start moving to get off stage >look down >nipples are completely out >ohgod.jpg >by keeping my arms at by sides i ended up just pushing the fabric more towards the middle of my chest >get off stage >try not to cry >go home >thank the stars that my parents never came to the preformance >forever cringe
>be like 6 >Older brother has friends over >They're getting drunk, parents don't mind >try to make them think I'm funny >Do impression of a dog >rolling around on floor barking and shit >think, what would a dog do >Jump up on bro's friend's lap >hands on his chest, knees on his knees >Shake ass like I'm wagging my tail >"ANON, WTF ARE YOU DOING TO HIM" >hfw he realizes he is getting a lap dance from a fat kid >ff 2 hours >They are all pretty drunk, playing quarters >Playin Mario Kart: Double Dash with me >coolestdudesever.jpg >Decide to make them think I'm cool >Go into room and grab stereo I got for Christmas >blast Kim Possible Soundtrack >call me, beep me, if you wanna reach me >nobody thinks I'm cool >mfw they all call me a faggot and send me to my room
>Be around 8 >Horny little devil >Looked up shit like "boobs.com" when parents not home >develop fetish for nude beaches >one day, on comp in kitchen > feeling adventurous >"hey mom, I've always wondered, how do you spell 'naked'?" > smooth af >"uhh, why do you need to know that anon?" >"I've just always wondered. How about 'nude'?" >smoothie levels rising >"okay.... N-u-d-e" >look up "nude beach" right in front of mom >Smoothius Maximus reached, best plan NA >mom catches me before I even find a site >get spanked, bare ass >hard the whole time
>Be me, kindergarten, school just started I believe >Recess, near the beginning of the year so I didnt have many friends >There was a group of boys who I kinda just bonded with >See this girl Sydney Adams or some shit >onehotmama.gif >Randy (or Kevin I forget) says you cant date her (meaning form a romantic bond at 5 with a female) >"Whaddya take me for?" I says >Try to talk to her >She wont answer back >Get mad >Autism rage has kicked in >Tackle her as she walks away and make her kiss me on the lips >Friends think im alpha, chanting as i stand up >girl is cut up and riddled with sand >Kinda feel bad say please dont tell anyone >doesnt tell anyone >feelsgoodman, not getting caught 2day >15 years later i realize i am a borderline rapist That incident haunts me to this day
>be me >be 8 >Older brother has a hamster, I have a mouse >Decide to put pet mouse on top of hamster cage because autism >Mouse slips through crack on top of cage >Mouse falls into Sarlacc pit >Hamster fucking pounces on top of mouse >Hamster goes for the neck >As all this is happening trying to get the fucking cage open >Finally get it open >Grab mouse out of the hamster cage >Mouse dies in my hands
>>594177952 >be me >up until like 7th or 8th grade I would pick my nose and eat it >still don't know why >never got caught except one time >be me >be about 6 >go to bank with my mom >I look at some older lady and she smiles and waves to me >for some reason I still can't identify to this day >I look her dead in the eye >I pick my nose >I eat it >she scowls >she looks away >mfw
>be 7 >dicking around on playground with friend >grandma watching over me >fall and fuck up my arm >hit hurts bad, cry like a bitch >go home >arm still hurts, decide to bike it off cause that's all I fucking did as a kid >dad comes home >checks out my arm, its bowed as fuck >go get xray >lol ur kids arms fucked up >only broke it halfway, doctor has to break it again >get put under, scared af cause idk what they were doing >wake up >two FUCKING gorgeous angles wake me up >here anon have this popsicle >knocked out again >doctor had to re-break my arm cause he fucked up >wake up, high as shit on perks (realized I was high like 11 years later) >plopped into a wheel chair >see nurses again they're smiling at me cause I'm geeked as fuck off pain killers >both talking to Indian doctor >dad stops and says something >interrupt them all and blurt out >"DAD WHY ARE THE ANGLES TALKING TO THIS MUD GUPPY AND NOT MEEEEEE?" >everyone's face when
>be 7 >mom goes into store while I wait in the car >says she'll be back in 5 min >15 minutes and still not back >have to pee >mom still not here >25 min and finally see mom >get really excited and get out of car >mom sees me >about to go too her but pee my pants instead >stand there with soaking wet pants >mom yelling at me to get in car >start crying Why?
>be me, 9 >grandparents over at our house >fucking love lemonade as a kid >brightest idea entire life >offer grandpa lemonade >he accepts >plan is now in full motion >pour lemonade >go to bathroom >pee in glass, maybe 1/4 piss >can't jeopardize the mission with too much "fresh squeezed lemonade" >grandpa downs lemonade >wants more >more >MORE >MORE MINUTE MADE LEMONADE >MFW he drank like five
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