>Talk to myself in my head >Create imaginary personas >Never alone and always have 2nd opinion >I'm my best critic, I'm my best friend >Personas are gone today >My head is empty and I feel alone >I don't know what to do >visits 4chan
When people go on taunting you for some stupid shit like being a "manlet", let them. I've gotten over it because I know how to deal with people like them. I keep going because I know they are jealous. They don't want me to exist because it destroys whatever reality they have thought up for themselves. And yet, here I am, and they continue to taunt me. I exist so that they can cry at night when they think no one is watching. But I will be watching them, through my mind's eye, as their sweet, salty tears stain their pillows. And I will smile.
I almost committed suicide at age 16 because I felt like this. Think about it like the bad part of a book. It will get better. You just have to get through this one chapter and then everything will be okay.
> My biggest fear is ending up like my father, a broken man who tries desperately to make sure I'm not like him
You all gay? The only thing that should make you feel a feeling is those times at night when I'm trying to sleep and realizing that none of this matters, it's all useless and this is all there is to life.
I don't want to bother getting into details, but suffice it to say we get along really well and both care about one another. And there's a fair bit of flirting. > tfw she was really concerned when I nearly passed out > tfw no one else was
She's got a boyfriend, and he's a great guy. Really, he is. They're fantastic together. I'm trying REALLY HARD to not fall for her, to just ignore those feelings and I don't fucking know.
I feel like, even if we were to date, I'd just disappoint her. I'm a selfish chucklefuck. It's been so long that I don't even know how to act in a relationship, and the only one I've been in was horrible. I was a complete asshole.
I just feel so alone sometimes. Or I used to, until I started hanging out with her. That's the worst part; this is the happiest I've been in 5 years, maybe longer.
>>592345800 I would never go for it. I'm better than that. But for fucksake she makes it hard.
Have you ever been with your partner and they look at you, and you at them, and you just have to kiss them? No one says anything, but pheromones or some shit make you remember why you fell in love in the first place, and you need your lips to celebrate that fact. That's how I feel around her all the time.
Maybe she's leading me on. But she's a good friend, and a legitimately good person, so I don't think that's it.
I don't know. She flirts with me. Maybe I'm just so lonely I latch onto any attention. That's probably it,
>>592340700 fellow 5'11.5 im close enough to 6 ft i can claim it and no one cares. all my freinds are 6'5 or taller, probably the tallest group of guys in my city. im not an insecure faggot tho and i am happy with my height.
>>592347436 It's not a prison, it's safety. How hard is it for you to walk down to the bar, get a drink and say hey to the person next to you? Just don't get into your yu gi mo fo cards right away, keep it general. Talk about what is on the sports tv you are watching because it's a fucking bar.
>>592347727 This is obviously coming from someone who hasn't felt like this before, or it at least has been a VERY long time. The thing is, it IS a prison, with no way out but a small window of opportunity. But like all jail cells, the window is barred with anxiety, depression, and overall betaness. Once you feel the pain, then I'll believe it's perfectly acceptable for you to judge.
oh wait you are a human you meant that as a human because flying is fucking expensive and you don't have financial security wherever you go it might actually get you killed and homeless, birds can just take off and go places, they don't have possessions really or kids and just it's so fucking easy to fly downtown to get some bread for them, you won't find a commercial airline to take you 15 minutes by taxi
>>592345456 by the time they are all 20 the faggot boy on the left will commit suicide for realizing that he is a big faggot and both those girls with have some type of STD and a child or two and the swagfag boy will be working at McDonalds as a high school dropout and the kid in the middle he will be drafted into a war but when he comes back he finds that his wife left him for a rich banker and he lost his house to foreclosure because he was too depressed to work after 4 months of being homeless he goes up to London bridge (which was 3 blocks away from the homeless shelter) and jumped to his death but on his bunk in the homeless shelter was note that stated "I would ask god to forgive me for the act that I will commit but what god would allow someone to suffer like this and for what reason, to learn something? I do not see any learning here only suffering and pain but it is easy for the one that is happy to to make rules for the sad"
>be in U.S. Navy >just got out of boot 21Nov >go to FL for A-school >gonna be aviation Electrician fuck yeah >ate thanksgiving dinner with friend from bootcamp and his family that lives 30 minutes from base >wasn't too bad, got to eat home cooked meal >got to go home for christmas >only home for 7 days but had a great time >back to base on 29Dec >spend new years alone in my barracks room >felt very lonely (first ever new years away from home) >feels badman >yesterday was my birthday, 20yrs now >calls from family and many FB posts >didn't really go out with friends, just chilled with roomate all day >went to eat at taco bell on base and to skate for about 20 minutes >same feeling from new years, just not as bad
Eh, not to bad of a life, knowing I have a great future career is always some motivation
> Be me 17 > Father is dieing of brain tumor will be kill in short time. > Girlfriend decides to cheat on me > "Its all your fault you were depressed and distant" > She then starts fucking everyone and tells me about it. >This kills the man. >Im now 21 and haven't even spoken to another women since. (except my mother)
You sir/ma'am are playing a game, the greatest and only one you'll ever play.
We do not sell strategy guides or manual's for it because every play through is unique and non recurring.
You've started you play through some time ago and have learned the a few basic rules that everyone in the game will likely pick up on. You however have missed some of the big ones. I'm here to correct that.
The reality of the game play that you experience through our sensory feedback system is an OBJECTIVE fact hard coded in this build. The way you perceive/interpret them is subjective to the players (yours) wishes.
This means that any plot / insinuations / suggestions you perceive are a constructed voluntary in your customization program (mind). Most new players go wild with this option and make the already impossible to beat game even more confusing. Most end up deleting those mod's, as they gain veteran status. But the thing's they've experienced while those are active are perceived incorrectly as objective fact.
You might have noticed that you are not the only player in this game, but you are the only one that matters, to a point... You see the devs decided to add feature intent on creating a form of harmony among the players making each player reliant on one and other by capping your capacity at one point and your needs at a different (and subjective to the player) but generally higher point.
So be kind to your fellow player, realize he's probably just as, if not more lost then you are.
>in room watching anime >mom comes in >can see the look of disappointment as she looks at me >"baby do you wanna borrow the car? you stay inside to much go out and hang with your friends" >to embarrased to say that i dont have any >lie and tell her im tired and dont feel like going out and that i really just want to be alone right now >looks away really quickly and says ok and walks off >continue watching anime for about 10 mins when i realize im really thirsty >on the way to the kitchen when i see my moms door slightly open >inside shes sobbing looking at pictures of my dad >go back into my room and get dressed and knock on her door >tell her i got invited to go out with my friends >he face lights up and she starts talking my ear off about how i should dress while at a bar >gives me her car keys and tells me i can use it however long i want >gives me 80$ for play around money >kisses me on the cheek and tells me she loves me >drive to the park nearby and park my car >spend the next 4 hours laying in the back playing my tablet >my mom has never been happier recently.
OP I'm 5'2 20 years old male. If you being 5;11 is too hard kill yourself.
Yours sincerely, someone playing the game of life on hard mode and watching cunts like you play on like normal-easy mode and complaining its too hard, like dude what thee fuck, just tell people you're an inch taller no-one will care or even notice, it's impossible for me to tell anyone I'm 6'0 and have them believe me. like Jesus Christ I want to stab you in the face, not so you'll die, but so you'll be disfigured and one day in a couple of years time, you will wake up look in the mirror and remember how easy it was when you weren't disfigured and then you'll cry. You might even pray to god to end your suffering, and in that moment, I'll jump out of whatever small container I can fit into and stab you in the face again.
Be lonely and European, walking from bus stop to home, suddenly I hear growling and barking behind me. I look down and see a Husky puppy waggling its tail and wanting to play. Ask him where his owner is like he will understand me, he barks and runs circles around me wanting to play.
Houses everywhere but no one in sight he chases me so I go around houses asking if someone knows whos husky this is, no one knows. It started to rain and decide to take him home since there was a busy road not far and did not want him to get run over or some lunatic find it, also I love huskies. Spend another full two days looking for its owner. Again no one knows and I decide to adopt the dog myself.
I am a lonelyfag so spend alot of time with him, play, go outside, jog together etc. Chicks dig puppies, so the attention was nice. Train my husky, learn it to sit, rollover, fetch and even walk without a leash.
1.5 month later some dude that was from the houses told me a man is looking for that dog and is offering 2000 euros for it. Which I found weird because Huskies go for like 400-500 euros here. Tell him I am not interested and I got used to the dog and put too much effort now.
Few days later some man at my door, he asked around about a man with a husky, neighbors know me well so they send him to my house.
Tells he wants the dog because he got it for his daughter who has cancer and she loves the dog. Said he cant buy another because his daughter will tell the difference because of the mask huskies have and that its not the same husky.
Tells me to think about it and says he will pay 2500 euros upfront.
>>592353367 I really loved my dog but I figured it was not my dog and the girl needed him more than me. Guy comes by again tell him he can keep the money, he insists but I refuse because I told him I dont find it ethical that he pays for his own dog.
Kiss and hug the dog for the last time, dude tries to walk away with it while its on the leash. Husky starts to cry and make a run for me. Dude picks it up like a baby, husky stretches it paw out and crying. It was like a small child sticking his hand out and going daddy please no. Hear the dog bark and cry the whole time, even in the car, it was that loud. Finally out of sight and start crying.
Week later that man had left me 2500 euros in my mailbox, thanking me and saying how great I made the dog.
Goodbye Storm, you were the best and for moment I was happy and did not fell lonely but now you are in a better family I guess.
>>592353314 the height lowering life expectancy came from a few peer-reviewed scientific journal publishings i read.
in light of this i wish i was shorter.
(i'm like 5'8" but used to bodybuild and now i run a lot soon will enter an ultramarathon so i'm happy with my body for sure i have a sixpack and whatnot)
i really enjoy life and if i lived longer at 5'6" i would happily accept that stature.
life is the most enjoyable thing i've ever done and i'd like to keep it going ad long as possible.
i am well-versed on anthropometrics for a lay person.
taller men seem to have greater reproductive propensity but i could care less about making copies of myself. and for money... most thi gs that are associated with money tend to stem not from the money itself but the things required to GET the money.
like poor ppk have low self control, so they have worse relatiinships and eat bad diets leading to bad health. a few examples.
it's not what i believe it's an observation of studies and meta analyses et al
>Be me >Now(17) >Decently liked by peers, have bf, he's great(i am homofag btw) >Only reason i don't an hero is because of them >Don't ever show anything to them since "I'm the happy one" >Secretly dying inside out >Hair is already falling out because of stress Help /b/? No pic, sorry
oh and if it's that big of a deal have your legs lengthened using the ilizarov method. it's an expensive and painful yet effective way to permanently make oneself taller.
there are other ways but they take longer like weight hanging. ever see jai lai players? their throwing arm is longer than their other. same with MLB pitchers. their pitching arm is about 2" longer than the other because bones are living cells that respond to stress and adapt like muscles.
but i worry about more important things like serum total cholesterol, cancer risk factors, blood pressure... you know, REAL problems like cancer and heart disease not mostly aesthetic things like height.
i used to worry about height when i was a teenager... then i grew up and started to worry about things that are actually a real problem. stuff that kills you. things that are controllable.
>>592340700 if your really depressed because your 'only' 5 11, then its pretty simple. stop being such a baby. ive been down, ive come close to killing myself. But i got passed it by just accepting what i couldnt change, and trying to just make other people happy when i cant be. some days i still feel like i cant get out of bed, not in the lazy way, but in the terrified of what the world is going to bring way. and on those days, i force myself up because it affects pother people. and when im sad and bored of life, i try to work out what little 10 minute tasks i can do to improve peoples days. and some how, it get me by.
>>592357701 You spend a lot of time complaining for someone that tells other people to stop complaining. I don't give a shit about my height, I was just pointing out that you sounded incredibly bitter. Kinda sounded like you care A LOT more about your height than you try to let on
I was in a position where the 'friend-zone' was a coveted position. At least in the 'friend-zone' people tell you that you can still be friends. I've been in four relationships where I thought it was a possibility where the friendship could be something more. Not anything SUPER CEREAL GAIZEE, but something casual. I'm no one's wet dream, for sure. I'm 5'10", bordering the 200-pounds line, and really not that great looking... But I have never proposed that something go further without being a good friend first. Well, I thought I was a good friend. Each time I've gone to one of these friends, said something along the lines of 'Hey, I like you as more than a friend', it's earned me an insta-ban from their lives forever. There's been no 'I feel the same way', no 'I think we should just be friends', no 'HAH, you're absolutely hideous, get the fuck away'. Not a single word, just dropped me off the map. If this happened once, I wouldn't mind it. But it's happened every damned time. It was at a point where I thought no matter what I felt towards anyone, they would have to make the first move. I would just have to keep my dumb mouth shut and let things be. I was sick of losing people I genuinely cared about because of something I said, and I was more sick about feeling sorry for myself.
At least, this was the idea half a year ago. It's recently come up that I've got some serious problems with my nervous system. It's going to be pain on-and-off for the rest of my life. I'm not a person who wants to spend X amount of dollars on treatment or medicine year after year. I'd rather live a short, fulfilled life than a long one filled with hoping that my clothes don't hurt when I put them on. I'm getting in shape, I'm fixing myself, and I'm happier than I've been in a long time. This might have been the boot up my ass I needed for a long time. I feel good because of myself. Only you can fix you. It's true.
>>592359158 "Yours sincerely, someone playing the game of life on hard mode and watching cunts like you play on like normal-easy mode and complaining its too hard, like dude what thee fuck, just tell people you're an inch taller no-one will care or even notice, it's impossible for me to tell anyone I'm 6'0 and have them believe me. like Jesus Christ I want to stab you in the face, not so you'll die, but so you'll be disfigured and one day in a couple of years time, you will wake up look in the mirror and remember how easy it was when you weren't disfigured and then you'll cry. You might even pray to god to end your suffering, and in that moment, I'll jump out of whatever small container I can fit into and stab you in the face again."
>like dude what thee fuck >it's impossible for me to tell anyone I'm 6'0 and have them believe me
Aaand the rest of your retarded rant:
> like Jesus Christ I want to stab you in the face not so you'll die, but so you'll be disfigured and one day in a couple of years time, you will wake up look in the mirror and remember how easy it was when you weren't disfigured and then you'll cry. You might even pray to god to end your suffering, and in that moment, I'll jump out of whatever small container I can fit into and stab you in the face again
I don't know if anyone's still in this thread but I'm feeling pretty down right now. I go back to college tomorrow but I really don't think I'm ready. This winter break I've fallen into a depression and I'm not ready for schoolwork. I would kill myself but I couldn't imagine the pain it would put my family through. Kinda wish I was unloved so I could die in peace.
I know I'll be called a pussy but this thread hit me too hard to not share something with you guys even if no one really cares.
>Coming to the end of so far the worst 6 months of life >My dog dies who i've had for 13yrs (pic very, very related) >Split up with girlfriend of 3yrs after I find out she was playing with herself to other guys on cam >Become depressed or a pussy, I dont really know which >As a result become an alcoholic, I now have to visit different bottle shops on each day because I'm ashamed of the staff knowing how regularly I buy drinks >Beer causes me to gain weight, can barely fit into any of my clothes >Lose all confidence in my image and self-worth because I'm a lazy, fat, alcoholic with no real connectiosn to anyone but my Mum which is strained at best because of her abusive partner >Only good thing which is happened is that I finally finished my undergraduate
Worst thing is I know I could probably make myself happy again by just not drinking and attempting to befriend people but what's the fucking point. It's safer wrapped in my dooner, sitting on the couch, playing LoL and drinking constantly. I have no one but myself to blame but what's the fucking point?
>>592359682 (Cont.) And, now that I'm no longer planning for the long run, there's a certain lovely gentleman I play World of Warcraft with. I'm taking a road trip soon and we're planning on meeting up. Who knows, maybe I can open my fat mouth one more time and see if we can't meet on terms other than gaming buddies. After all, there's literally now nothing left to lose.
Keep going man! It's definitely them not you. Anyone who drops someone else entirely just because they showed interest isn't worth your time! I don't know how old you are but I've found the older you get the easiest it is to find genuine friends who would never do that shit to you.
Birthday coming up, turning 21 >Mom ask me what I want, tell her I need a new computer that can run Skyrim at a solid 60 fps >Been using an Alienware m18 since 2009 and the HDD is starting to fail >Hint to my Mom that I want a new one, specifically the the 18" with Nvidia GeForce GTX with 4gb GDDR5 >She starts bitching about it being too expensive, tell her to shut her mouth and start saving, I'm her oldest son and I deserve whatever I want for having to put up with her ass for the past 20 years >birthday finally comes >Mom want to sing me happy birthday and open birthday cards >fucking normie, I don't have time for this shit, I want my Alienware NOW >finally grab package from Mom >"huh that's strange, it feels lighter than I expected" >open it >It's a fucking ipad >"Stupid cunt! What am I supposed to do with this fucking giant iphone normie shit?" >throw it on the floor >step on it >Mom starts to cry >pick up cake and toss it her >"ALIENWHERE!? ALIENWHERE!?" >tfw Mom gave me her credit card to order my Alienware >Only cost $2499 >tfw Mommie took me to Applebee's afterwards for some chicken fingers
Why can't normalfags do thing`s right the FIRST time?
>>592359295 everything i say is backed by peer-reviewed journal publishings or easily verifiable facts.
some is just common sense like people that worry about things they can't change should learn acceptance of things as they are, because fighting it leads nowhere. just like someone mad because their nose is too wide and they think it makes them ugly or their ears stick out too much et al.
it seems so silly to worry about such petty things when there are real problems.
talk to the 9-year-old with no hair going thru chemo... THAT'S a real problem.
take a tour of pediatric ward of john hopkin's cancer center then you will learn how big of a "problem" not being tall enough is.
go look a 12-year-old dying of leukemia right in the eyes and say "life is hard for me because i want to be a few inches taller than i am."
sitting around feeling sorry for yourself for not being as tall as you want seems to me to show a lack of psychological resilience and perspective... not to mention poor prioritization and allocation of mental effort.
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