Oi /b/ what's your best joke?
Three men wandered to jungles and were captured by a tribe of natives. The chief came to the men and said, "You have crossed our tribal land and now must be punished. You have a choice, Bunda or death."
The first man said,"Well...I don't want to die so I chose Bunda!" The whole tribe lined up and gave it to him up the arse. He crawled away in agony. The chief looked to the second man and told him to choose.
The second man said,"well...that looked painful as hell, but it's better than death...I choose Bunda!" So, again the whole tribe lines up and gives it up the arse to the second man and he crawls away in agony.
The Third man said, "Fuck this, I want DEATH!"
The Chief turn the the tribe and yelled, "DEATH BY BUNDA!!!!"
>A black man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder.
> The barman looks at him and says,
>"Wow, where did you get that from?"
>The parrot replies, "Africa. You should see it,There's fucking loads of 'em."
>I'm transblind, check your lightbulb privilege.
>dark is the new light, quit oppressing me.
>lightbulb is a phallic symbol of the patriarchy. Smash the lightbulbpenis
jesus walks into a hotel, puts three nails on the front desk counter and asks the concierge "so, can you put me up for the night?"
>I have a pakistani who lives next door to me,
>He said the other day to me "I'm a better man than you"
>I said "I never said you fucking wasn't, but what makes you think your a better man than me?"
>He said "I don't have a fucking Paki, living next door to me"
Whats the difference between a sexually abused 5 year old and a ferrari?
I don't have a ferrari in my garage...
did you hear about the nosy pepper?
>it's jalapeno business
so, and old couple (70+) who are very devout go to Israel for vacation. while they are there the wife passes away. after the widower has been morning for a week a young mortician comes knocking. "sir, i am so sorry that your beloved wife has passed" continued...
"now good sir, i have a spectacular offer for you today!" , "instead of spending a small fortune having your wife shipped home, you could bury her here for $100!"
now the old man sits and ponders on this for a while , but then gives the mortician his answer " son, many years ago a man died here and three days later, rose from his grave, I CAN'T TAKE THAT FUCKING CHANCE!"
A horse with downs syndrome
So I was going down on my grandma the other day and I thought to myself, this tastes awfully like horse semen, and then it hit me. That must've been what killed her.
had to say it out loud before I got it, not too shabby.
this is now a tapir thread
How do you stop a black baby crying?
Lick it's lips and stick it to the window
There was this inflatable boy, whose Mom and Dad and whole family were inflatable. He went to an inflatable school, where all the staff and students, and even the buildings were inflatable.
One day the inflatable boy took a pin to school. At the end of the day the inflatable boy was called to the Principal's office over the PA system.
The inflatable boy walked into the Principal's office, and the Principal says to him:
"Son, you've let me down, you've let yourself down ... in fact, you've let the whole school down"
A black guy and a white girl were getting to second base when the white girl whispered in her ear "I want you to show me that it's true what they say about black guys". So he shoots her and steals her purse.
WHAT DID ONE EYE SAY TO THE OTHER?
JUST BETWEEN YOU AND ME-
It's such a shitty joke but saying it in a ridiculous way always breaks the ice.
why did the cows boss give him a promotion?
>because he was outstanding in his field
It's actually either dumbshit, nice try actin like ur smart
Top Tier keks right here niggers
A jewish rabbi and a Catholic priest are sitting in a bar drinking together, and across the street is a playground full of young children. The priest leans over to the rabbi and says, "hey, we should go screw those kids." The rabbi says, "yeah, but out of what?"
two catholic priests are driving in a car and a police officer stops them by and asks them: excuse me we are looking for 2 child molesters. the 2 priests look at each other for a short time and answers to the officer : yes we will do it
A baby seal walks into a club